Dec
5

The RedState Trike Force Rides Again




Posted at 1:04 by Tintin
neil_stevens
ABOVE: Neil Stevens (not Photoshopped)

Over at RedState, ground zero for lunatic conspiracy theories, Red State Trike Force Commando Neil Stevens (right) has used all his mad Internet skillz to expose the liberal perfidy of Google. In this case, Commando Stevens has discovered that Teh Gazoogle has wickedly altered its drop-down search suggestions to omit any reference to Climate Gate.

This, of course, means that thousands, no, millions of right-wingers, who are apparently too stupid to search for something unless it appears in the drop-down list, will never hear of Climate Gate and will never suspect that global warming is a hoax concocted by Al Gore to further his goal of Marxist domination of the planet.

Neil’s shocking exposé of Google’s leftist machinations starts with an equally shocking revelation:

This may come as a shock, but I don’t use the Google search service.

No shit, Neil? We never would have guessed.

Notwithstanding Neil’s boycott of Google, he is apparently still willing to use the nefarious search engine in order to sleuth out evidence of Google’s Marxist tendencies:

But Google wants us to believe nobody is searching for Climategate despite it being such a big story, but I have evidence that it’s merely a coverup for political purposes.

My evidence is in the behavior of the feature itself. Watch what happens if you type in Climatega, nearly typing in the entire word Climategate:

google1

Nope. No “Climate Gate” there. So Stevens, reaching deep into his bag of Internet tricks, tries to see what would happen if he types in “climateg” instead of “climatega.” Sadly, he still doesn’t have his Holy Grail in Google’s drop-down suggestions. Stevens then tries entering “climate” in the search box. And, woot, there it is! Right there in in the drop-down box.

google2

This might cause a lesser wingnut to conclude that there is no plot by Google to deep-six “Climate Gate” or banish it from its drop-down suggestions. After all, the search engine suggests “Climate Gate” when “climate” is typed into the search box. And since most people don’t type backwards it’s really not that important that it doesn’t include the suggestion for “climateg” or “climatega.” Any poor conservatives that are hopelessly dependent on Google’s drop-down box will receive the needed suggestion long before they even type in “climateg” or “climatega.” And if any conservatives do wind up typing in “climatega,” my guess is that least half of them will know how to finish typing the word “Climate Gate” without any further help from Google.

But Neil is not to be deterred. The very appearance of the “Climate Gate” drop-down suggestion is, in fact, proof of the conspiracy to eliminate that suggestion. This may well be the ultimate apotheosis of the wingnut riposte that “this is central to my point.”

Well what do we have here? Climate gate scandal. Oops. They erased climategate but didn’t erase climate gate. Somebody did an incomplete job of sending the story down the memory hole. Too bad, so sad. You are exposed, Google. People are trying to get to the truth, but Google is actively trying to hide that fact.

To make matters even worse or, rather, even more central to Stevens’s point, “Climate Gate” first pops up when you type “cli” into the Google news search box.

google_news2

So, at worst, all Google can really be accused of is refusing to put “climate gate scandal proves that the Earth is getting cooler and that Al Gore is a big fat lying manbearpig” in the drop-down box whenever anyone simply types a “c” into the search box.

Oh, and look what happened when I typed “why is” into Google:

why is neil stevens

I am sure that our comment section will soon have answers to all those questions.

168 Comments »

  1. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:07

    ABOVE: Neil Stevens (not Photoshopped)

    Then WHERE ARE THE BOLTS?!

  2. Tommmcatt said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:12

    Where’s the face mullet?

  3. Derelict said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:13

    I’ll send Neil a subscription to AUTOCOMPLETEME.COM

    He can then expound the the liberal conspiracy to have Jesus bring the pork chops (that’s on page 5 of the site–their very first post!).

  4. Quaker in a Basement said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:14

    All that pops up when you type in “cli…”?

    Good work, gentlemen! You’re better informed than I gave you credit for!

  5. CCCP DeVille said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:16

    The resemblance to Bug-Eyed Earl is uncanny.

  6. Whale Chowder said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:20

    Clearly, if there was a “Google Search For Dummies” book out, this error would not have occurred.

    After all, you can’t expect a wingnut to know everything.

  7. Mickey Kaus said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:21

    And when you type “goatse” you don’t get ANY search references for goat-sex or goat-blowing! The nerve.

  8. J— said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:24

    Now drop down, Google, let Mr. Stevens see
    I know just what you’re trying to pull on me

  9. Bug-Eyed Earl said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:24

    Quit lookin’ at me.

  10. M. Bouffant said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:25

    I ain’t gonna look there: Is he a bing fan? When’s the first fascist search engine coming out? They waiting until they’ve re-written the Bible before they get around to it?

    1532 PST: Type “clim” into Google & “climate gate,” “climate change,” & “climate” are the first three in the menu.

    I suspect if Mr. Neil (As in “Neil-anderthal:” Lookit those sunken eyes & that brow ridge!) Stevens masters the use of the space key (“climate gate,” rather than “climatega”) his Goo-Fu will work a little better for him.

  11. Climatega Nights said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:26

    Is Neil’s skull on the OUTSIDE of his face? Just sayin’

    “Too bad, so sad. You’re exposed”

    Shoulda said “you been served, beeotches!”

  12. wiley said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:27

    Google is the Skynet of liberal fascism.

  13. Climatega Nights said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:28

    He also bears an uncanny resemblance to my Thanksgiving dinner the second time I saw it.

  14. Andy said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:28

    When I type in “Why Is..” to Google, the number 2 (heh) response is “why is my poop green?” Number 1 is “why is the sky blue?” Blue sky, green poop, ew…

  15. Elephant Butte said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:30

    ‘climate ladygaga’ yields :
    Lady GaGa soars London temperature with body-baring attire

    Total WIN!

  16. M. Bouffant said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:32

    As the tab is still open, we present an observation on Neil’s top-buttoning, from this Slate item: Shirt-Buttoning Styles of the Weird and “Special” Why Forrest Gump, Adrian Monk, and Steve Urkel button the top button.

    One reason developmentally and physically disabled people dress differently from their peers is that their mothers play a big role in their wardrobe choices. Parents are more resistant to changing styles, and they’re more likely to stick to stores like JCPenney rather than venturing into Hot Topic

  17. wiley said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:36

    Just had to type “who has green poop” in the google, and am shocked that breast-feeding infants are using the internet.

  18. Proud American said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:37

    I don’t know about y’all, but I sleep better at night knowing this selfless sentinel is takin’ out the garbage on teh google.

    Nice catch on the “climategate” vs. “climate gate”. They’ll never get one by you, Neil (nBob) Stevens. You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.

  19. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:38

    Drop down before Zod, Ne-il.

  20. Johnny Pez said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:42

    Judging from that pic, it looks like the zombie apocalypse is coming early this year.

  21. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:43

    Uncanny, isn’t it?

    You have to admire a man who can build an entire conspiracy theory upon his observation that search completion software delivers different results for “climateg*” and “climate g*”. The software SHOULD UNDERSTAND what he means, when he omits the space! Be more smart, computer!!

  22. Neil Stevens said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:43

    The “answers” is very simple, libs. The fact that typing “climate” brings up “climate gate scandal” proves that GLOWBALL WARNING IS A LIE!

    You walked right into my cunning twap.

  23. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:44

    I sleep better at night knowing this selfless sentinel is takin’ out the garbage on teh google.

    Also, rough men stand ready, willing to do violence to logic and language.

  24. Tommmcatt said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:47

    Upon reflection, I would have to say that he resembles a Heaven’s Gate cultist more than anything else.

  25. OTB said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:47

    To be fair, I typed “clim” into Google and it didn’t tell me how to climb a gate.

  26. OTB said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:49

    I did, however, type “Uncle Fester” into Google and lo and behold…

  27. Elephant Butte said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:50

    OMFG
    Goldman Adds TWAP For Options
    (Time-weighted average price)

    Coincidence????

  28. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:50

    Of course, Al Gore is behind the grand conspiracy to prevent free dissemination of information.

  29. J— said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:50

    It looks like Google has it out for Mark Steyn. His preferred term for this current outrage is “warmergate,” but when you type “warmer” or “warmerg” into Google, nothing of the sort drops down.

  30. Tim (The Other One) said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:51

    This sent me over to the comments on Red State for Neil’s thread. Lots of goodness.

  31. par4 said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:52

    He looks like Hannibal Lector.

  32. Larkspur said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:54

    Polar opposites: Neil Stevens head shot vs. Debbie Schlussel head shot. One needs a little stepping on, the other’s been stepped on beyond all recognition. I hate myself for having bothered to think about that.

  33. M. Bouffant said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:55

    Green poop comes from Mickey D.’s Shamrock Shakes, as I noted not too long ago here, but cannot locate (I am as stupid & useless as Neil w/ his inability to Google. Kill me now.)

    Neil looks more like the Peter Boyle version of the monster, though that un-furrowed brow ridge is spot on.

  34. kingubu said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:56

    Let’s play paranoid dress-up and pretend that Google was scrubbing their auto-complete cache. And? So? I mean, really, how would that effect the real world at all?

  35. Felonious Monk said,

    December 5, 2009 at 1:59

    Judging by that picture, I’m surprised his mom lets him use the computer. Homework only, Neil, no goofing off.

  36. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:00

    For the record:

    FACT: Scientists say the word “trick” has been misinterpreted; it is not evidence Jones was “fudging” climate data

    RealClimate.org also explained that “the ‘trick’ is just to plot the instrumental records along with reconstruction so that the context of the recent warming is clear. Scientists often use the term ‘trick’ to refer to … ‘a good way to deal with a problem’, rather than something that is ‘secret’, and so there is nothing problematic in this at all.”

    As for the ‘decline’, it is well known that Keith Briffa’s maximum latewood tree ring density proxy diverges from the temperature records after 1960 (this is more commonly known as the “divergence problem”-see e.g. the recent discussion in this paper) and has been discussed in the literature since Briffa et al in Nature in 1998 (Nature, 391, 678-682). Those authors have always recommend not using the post 1960 part of their reconstruction, and so while ‘hiding’ is probably a poor choice of words (since it is ‘hidden’ in plain sight), not using the data in the plot is completely appropriate, as is further research to understand why this happens.

    I know this all is boring and such as. But it needs to be said, often.
    ~

  37. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:01

    I for one would welcome a leaked copy of an internal Google document showing the company’s organisational structure. It must be top-heavy with many positions like “Vice-President in charge of Auto-Complete Search Suppression” and “Disloyal Logo Creation Department”.

  38. M. Bouffant said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:16

    “Isn’t one of the Googlers a commie/Russki/something named Sergei?”

    “Proof enough for me; get those bags of fertilizer loaded on the rent-a-truck, we’re goin’ to Mtn. View!”

  39. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:21

    Green poop comes from Mickey D.’s Shamrock Shakes, as I noted not too long ago here, but cannot locate

    O’Grimacy’s revenge!

  40. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:23

    Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from liberals under the bed.

  41. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:24

    I know this all is boring and such as. But it needs to be said, often.

    The trick is to keep her going after her abdominal muscles start to cramp.

  42. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:24

    Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from liberals under the bed.

    Kmow who’s liberal under the bed?

  43. Tong Lime Curler said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:25

    To answer the question” why is Neil Stevens sucking a goat penis”. Neil Stevens is a chupacabra. The Chupacabra or Chupacabras (pronunciation: /t?upa’kab?a/, from the Spanish words chupar, meaning “to suck”, and cabra, meaning “goat”; literally “goat sucker”),

  44. Tommmcatt said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:25

    Let’s play paranoid dress-up and pretend that Google was scrubbing their auto-complete cache. And? So? I mean, really, how would that effect the real world at all?

    There would be no way for us to access the sexy naked pictures of Ann Althouse and Pam Geller that we enjoy so much, and so often.

  45. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:26

    Kmow?

    N or M nakes mo difference. It’s your mom. Or non.

  46. M. Bouffant said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:28

    Other vast & paranoid conspiracies:

    In the opinion of Arlington Mayor Russell Wiseman, President Barack Obama’s speech on Tuesday night on the war in Afghanistan was deliberately timed to block the Christian message of the “Peanuts” television Christmas special.

    Wiseman made the statements on his Facebook page, where he declared Obama to be a Muslim. Only people on Wiseman’s “friend’s list” had access to the post. He has more than 1,600 friends on Facebook.

    “Ok, so, this is total crap, we sit the kids down to watch ‘The Charlie Brown Christmas Special’ and our muslim president is there, what a load…..try to convince me that wasn’t done on purpose. Ask the man if he believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he will give you a 10 minute disertation (sic) about it….w…hen the answer should simply be ‘yes’….”

    In Wiseman’s extensive thread that attacked the president, his supporters and Muslims, he stated “…you obama people need to move to a muslim country…oh wait, that’s America….pitiful.”

    At another point he said, “you know, our forefathers had it written in the original Constitution that ONLY property owners could vote, if that has stayed in there, things would be different……..”

  47. Celia said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:30

    I personally am calling it “climaquiddick”. “-quiddick” is the new “-gate”.

  48. Pere Ubu said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:31

    I assume Climate-gate is the wingnut outrage du jour.

    Probably explains why I have no idea what Neil’s on about, since I pay as little attention to wingnuttery these days as I possibly can… other than, of course, stopping by S,N! for random snark purposes.

  49. Pere Ubu said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:33

    In the opinion of Arlington Mayor Russell Wiseman, President Barack Obama’s speech on Tuesday night on the war in Afghanistan was deliberately timed to block the Christian message of the “Peanuts” television Christmas special.

    And thusly is my no-wingnut stance justified.

    Christ, were we just talking a couple months ago about “peak wingnut”? Who knew then there were such new depths of the idiot experience to be explored?

  50. Felonious Monk said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:37

    Look, Christians, if you’re so insecure in your faith that a yearly dose of Charlie Brown is all that’s keeping you on track, maybe you should consider looking into other belief systems.

  51. Felonious Monk said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:39

    Also, isn’t Arlington a city of like 200,000 people? I thought these cockbags were supposed to only get elected out in the boonies. His, um, speech sounds more like the rambling of a falling-down drunk then many actualy falling-down drunks I’ve heard.

  52. Elephant Butte said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:41

    Know who else pre-empted Charlie Brown? Woodrow Wilson!!!!

  53. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:42

    Why is Neil Stevens single

    You gotta feel sorry for the guy – in order to keep his conservative bona fides in good order he has to refrain from showing any support of ghey marriage – even though he truly believes that it’s the first step towards his being able to express his love.

  54. M. Bouffant said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:45

    200,000? Maybe Arlington, Texas, actual home of the Dallas Cowgirls. Unless they moved their new stadium.

    Tenn.’s Arlington has 9,700 (mostly) semi-humans.

  55. The Clitoris said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:45

    Behold my glory!

  56. Sheesh said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:48

    The fact is, I can’t believe that it wasn’t until the end of last thread that “Zerg Rush KEKEKE” made its appearance. I would have been sorely disappointed. Undress my toast.

  57. Neil's Pediatrician said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:49

    Ain’t no pill can cure stupid, Mr. Stevens

  58. Felonious Monk said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:50

    Point duly taken, MB. I will work harder.

  59. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:52

    Wait. WTF?! Is he wearing a golf shirt with all the buttons done up?
    OMFG. srsly d00d, no srsly – fix ur shirt, kthxbai.

  60. R.D. said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:54

    I do love how, despite their best efforts, Climategate doesn’t seem to be gaining any real traction outside the HERF DERF AL BORE DOES DRIVING BIG PLANE DERP DERP DERP crowd.

  61. Andrew N.P. said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:54

    I ain’t gonna look there: Is he a bing fan?

    He uses Ask.com personally, but some of his commenters are Bing fans. Here’s the irony: Bing behaves exactly like Google, listing “climate gate” as the second suggestion for climate and never suggesting “climategate”, but Ask’s suggestion box doesn’t give either version! Looks like Neil’s preferred engine has more of a lib’rul bias than Teh Great Gazoogle.

  62. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:55

    you know, our forefathers had it written in the original Constitution that ONLY property owners could vote

    I can see the forthcoming apology already. “I would like to express regret that someone betrayed our friendship by taking a private, uncensored exploration of ideas and going public with it.”

  63. The Tragically Flip said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:56

    Probably explains why I have no idea what Neil’s on about, since I pay as little attention to wingnuttery these days as I possibly can… other than, of course, stopping by S,N! for random snark purposes.

    That you hadn’t heard about this is central to their point! Google and the liberal media are hiding it from you.

  64. Big Willie said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:56

    What does Neil have agaist the good people at Climateguard?

  65. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:57

    Seriously, I know none of these dumbfucks went beyond tenth grade, but how do you take basic math and never hear your teacher refer to some mathematical shortcut as a “trick”? I have to assume they somehow tuned that out, since they’re quite frankly too stupid to be that obtuse calculatedly.

  66. Big Willie said,

    December 5, 2009 at 2:59

    Also, how does this guy think he can analyze climate change data when freaking Google seach perplexes him.

  67. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:00

    Bing behaves exactly like Google, listing “climate gate” as the second suggestion for climate and never suggesting “climategate”
    This conspiracy goes further than I thought. We’re seeing betrayal at the highest level of government.*

    *[Smut reveals excessive knowledge of Babylon 5]

  68. Judas Peckerwood said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:01

    Why is Neil Stevens?

  69. Steerpike said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:01

    not using the data in the plot is completely appropriate, as is further research to understand why this happens.

    ah-HAH! See? It’s all a nefarious plot!

  70. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:04

    Notwithstanding Neil’s boycott of Google, he is apparently still willing to use the nefarious search engine in order to sleuth out evidence of Google’s Marxist tendencies

    This may come as a shock, but Neil Stevens does not suck goat PENIS. Neil knows that you can’t get the same joy gobbling capric knob as you can from licking the anuses of civets – and he has plenty of evidence to demonstrate…er I mean Neil doesn’t suck goats!!one1!

  71. Felonious Monk said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:04

    Why is Neil Stevens?

    Neil Stevens is the essence of that which is Neil Stevens, and it can neither exist nor not exist.

    And it needs a shower.

  72. The Tragically Flip said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:07

    Oh, and if he doesn’t search at google, where does he? Please tell me Schlafly has created a right wing search engine. Goggles.com: Search the world though the right wing lens.

  73. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:12

    Looks like Neil’s preferred engine has more of a lib’rul bias than Teh Great Gazoogle.

    All your search engines are belong to us!

    ah-HAH! See? It’s all a nefarious plot!

    OMGOMGOMG!!!! They’re plotting points on a graph!!!

  74. Neal Stephenson said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:12

    That’s it, I’m changing my name first thing Monday morning–just too close for comfort. Look for the sequel to Kryptonomicon–Waterhouse and Shaftoe on Mars, by Hopscotch Bananapants Murphy McGillicudy Hatstand Fishmonger at better bookstores in 2010.

  75. Elephant Butte said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:12

    Alta Vista?

  76. Sheesh said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:13

    Betrayal is a three-edged sword.

  77. Peanutcat said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:13

    Dear fucking God, I’ma gonna have to stay away from here. Teh stuupids might be contagious. I’m amazed that you can read this drivel without your head exploding . . . . .

  78. Dr. Neilenstein said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:15

    Yeah, well Igor, without the button his head is in his lap.

  79. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:15

    The canookistani version of Google dropdown suggests are also la crême de la récolte.

    Why…
    why can’t i own a canadian
    why did michael jackson turn white
    why is there a dead pakistani on my couch

  80. Steerpike said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:16

    Don’t laugh, Flip–I’m sure Conservagoogle is slated to be released right after they finish rolling out the Conservabible, Conservacookbook, and Conservacarrepairmanual.

  81. g said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:16

    So, it’s a scandal that Goggle doesn’t come up with “Climate Gate” when you type “climateg” in?

    What a moran.

  82. Pere Ubu said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:17

    The fact is, I can’t believe that it wasn’t until the end of last thread that “Zerg Rush KEKEKE” made its appearance. I would have been sorely disappointed.

    I couldn’t believe it, either, which is why I had to do it. For Aiur!

  83. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:17

    …his head is in his lap.

    Don’t knock it ’til you’ve…erm, and I mean that in the most heterosexual way possible.

  84. M. Bouffant said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:25

    the most heterosexual way possible

    See? See? That Senator’s flunky was right!! You watch porn & you touch it down there, & then that’s all you can think of, & then you’re cutting your head off so you can be gay w/ yourself!

  85. don said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:29

    Jeezus, he looks just like the fat cop’s kid on ‘The Simpsons’, the one that eats paste…Groening must have used him as a model.

    Sorry if this is a repeat of someone else’s observation!

  86. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:29

    You watch porn & you touch it down there, & then that’s all you can think of

    Interest, newsletter &c.

    Aside for Neil Stevens, if you happen by any chance to be related to Rachel Stevens, please accept my apologies for all the light-hearted joshing and ribbing I’ve engaged in at your expense (but srsly, fix ur shirt) and hook a buddy up. I know she’s married now, but, I mean this in the most heterosexual way possible, Alex Bourne would not be unwelcome.

  87. Knights in Black Satin said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:32

    I’ll bet he is the one who’s been haunting/trolling the letters pages of Salon, regardless of what the article is about.

    Why he thinks 3 or 4 people who weren’t (but *may* have been) conspiring to support the Global Warming Meme, means that Global Warming is a liberal lie?

    Beyond stupid.

  88. cat_named_zoe said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:39

    Climategategategate!

  89. Lesley said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:47

    ABOVE: Neil Stevens (not Photoshopped)

    I can see him in a Hannibal mask.

  90. jim said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:52

    Holy Fooking Fook, not to mention YIKES … eeeeeeew, those eyes … there oughta be some cops with a jackhammer doing some “exploratory surgery” in this guy’s basement already if ya ask me.

    despite their best efforts, Climategate doesn’t seem to be gaining any real traction

    Yes, how shameful that only a select few Real Americanz™ brave enough to “create their own reality” can sincerely believe in the magical powers of embarrassing e-mails to halt &/or reverse global climate change! Come ON now, who are you going to believe: FOX NEWS or your lying physics, chemistry & mathematics?

    WAKE UP SHEEPLE – & SEND MOAR E-MAILS, PDQ … IT’S GETTING HOT IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!

  91. dex said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:59

    an inconvenient douche.

  92. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 3:59

    Uh… please please forgive this episode of blogwhoring, but Canadians, WTF is up with the Bloody Caesar? Is my chain being yanked? VPR

  93. Twinky P said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:02

    & then you’re cutting your head off so you can be gay w/ yourself!

    Wait…that’s bad? Fuck.

  94. Dustin DeWynd said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:02

    No doubt brave Neil will be getting a promotion within the ranks of the 101st Fighting Keyboardists for taking this hill, or I mean slight incline. He’ll become at least Rear Admiral, which I hear is quite popular in those circles (jerks).

    “Fighting them over there, so we don’t have to get out of our chairs.”

  95. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:06

    B^4,

    I don’t understand the question. Are you saying that clamato caesar cocktails aren’t all the rage outside the GWN? We’ve even got a series of annoying commericals for it. Anyways, if you’re asking if clam-tomato cocktail and booze with a stick of celery in it is an actual drink that canookistanis try and defrost enough to drink in their igloos – yes. Usually with a dash of Tobasco and a bit of horseradish.

  96. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:07

    Although to be fair, like most canuckians, I’d lick a civet cat’s anus if their was liquor in it.

  97. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:08

    there oughta be some cops with a jackhammer doing some “exploratory surgery” in this guy’s basement already if ya ask me.

    Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  98. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:11

    It’s not the cocktail that throws me (hell, I eat spleen sandwiches), but number one cocktail? It sells better than Cosmopolitans or Appletinis?

    Although to be fair, like most canuckians, I’d lick a civet cat’s anus if their was liquor in it.

    What if said civet’s ass had
    caffeine in it?

  99. Bitter Scribe said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:15

    Green poop comes from Mickey D.’s Shamrock Shakes

    Then just put on green goggles and drink a vanilla shake. It amounts to the same thing.

    Unless you like green poop.

  100. ckc (not kc) said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:15

    …but number one cocktail?

    “What have you got that’s cheap?”

  101. a second non-lester the giant ape said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:19

    I wish to register here my thunder-browed disapproval of some things. When I type in “clitoris,” the Google drop-down box suggests “clitoris gate” and “courtney love” but doesn’t mention climategate or climate gate at all. Which is central to my point, which is wolverines.

    Bookmark it, libs.

  102. a second non-lester the giant ape said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:22

    Separated at birth, also.
    http://www.canpages.ca/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/anthony-hopkins.jpg
    as well.

  103. Robin Ramzinski said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:22

    Goggles.com: Search the world though the right wing lens.

    I lolled.

  104. Kobie said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:24

    Heads up, SadlyNauts:

    http://nrd.nationalreview.com/article/?q=Mjk1YmRjNzIxNmUwMTI0ZWYxZWU4OWU2MzFiOWJmNDE=

    Jay Nordlinger: “Should school officials try to prevent black students from using the N-word? I don’t believe the issue was ever settled. And this brings up the question of whether “teabagger” could be kind of a conservative N-word: to be used in the family, but radioactive outside the family.:

    And so on. “Teabagger” = The N-Word.

  105. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:32

    Although to be fair, like most canuckians, I’d lick a civet cat’s anus if their was liquor in it.

    If memory serves, it was actually American contractors in Kabul with the “draling inkcohol out of anuses” thing.

  106. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:46

    “What have you got that’s cheap?”

    Got anything that tastes kinda like soup?

    And this brings up the question of whether “teabagger” could be kind of a conservative N-word: to be used in the family, but radioactive outside the family.

    Too much information about the Nordlinger household!

  107. Shell Goddamnit said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:49

    I get the dead pakistani here in TX, too, it’s not a Canadian thing

    Unfortunately, I don’t have a couch, so I don’t find the answer illuminating

  108. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 5, 2009 at 4:54

    Zookeeper Bedposts Frederica’s Mascarpone Sherbet

    Ingredients:
    3 tablespoons odorous greater wyvern, swirled
    1 portion mascarpone, crushed
    1 catastrophic nondairy topping, unfavorably tossed
    2 tablespoons academic death snake throat, squelchily swirled
    7 sticks flour
    6 jars paprika

    Pre-heat your oven to 589 Kelvin. Sacrifice a nearby loon or a creature of similar size. Discard remains furtively. Place the greater wyvern into a large jar. Use a food processor to combine the nondairy topping with the mascarpone. Drizzle resulting mixture over the greater wyvern. Strain the death snake throat, flour, and the paprika over-joyedly. Smush everything together. Leave raw but pretend it’s cooked. Serves 8.

  109. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:05

    First they came for the odorous greater wyvern, but I said nothing, so now I can’t cook Zookeeper Bedposts Frederica’s Mascarpone Sherbet.

  110. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:11

    Slightly shorter Nordlinger: Since too many people remember who started self-describing themselves as ‘tea-baggers’, thereby discrediting our complaints about potty-mouthed liberals smearing American Patriots with a derogatory term, we will switch to a fallback position — that ‘teabagger’ is only a derogatory term when used by potty-mouthed liberals.

  111. N__B said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:12

    First they came for the odorous greater wyvern and after it ate many in the party, they came for less actively carnivorous animals.

  112. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:12

    wait wait wait just wait a damm minnit here.

    Wangchuck is a CANADIOID?

    My gast is flabbered.

  113. Kobie said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:18

    @Smut Clyde

    Shorter slightly shorter Nordlinger: It’s only bad when they do it.

  114. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:22

    Wangchuck is a CANADIOID?

    Imagine: a zombie behind us.

  115. kitten parade said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:23

    I do see the resemblance to Hannibal Lector, but I agree with don – the haircut is pure ralphie wiggums

    http://ihateyou79.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/ralph-wiggum-nose-picking.jpg

    Go Banana!

  116. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:24

    Wangchuck is a CANADIOID?
    My gast is flabbered.

    You know who else DKW flabbered?

  117. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:35

    My gast is flabbered

    Zombie, what happens in the Vaults of Zin stays in the Vaults of Zin.

  118. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:42

    there was none of this unseemly flabbering back in the days when I was young enough to qualify for the Club-Kadath Dream-Quest Holidays.

  119. Andrew N.P. said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:44

    While we’re on the subject, it occurs to me that Ralph Wiggum is the perfect poster child for modern right-wing populism.

    * Blissfully ignorant of the world around him.
    * Alternately stating the obvious and spouting total nonsense.
    * Unaware of the difference between fantasy and reality.
    * Prone to random acts of destruction (“he told me to burn things!”).
    * Has a bent Wookiee (VEDR).
    * Dreams that he’s a Viking.

  120. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:45

    back in the days when I was young enough to qualify for the Club-Kadath Dream-Quest Holidays

    Hoarier than Nodens, now, aren’t ya?

  121. laym said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:46

    Wait … a trike force post without the trike force graphic? That’s enough to drive a fella to drink. Luckily, I started before I saw this post …

  122. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:49

    That’s enough to drive a fella to drink. Luckily, I started before I saw this post …

    Clamato and vodka, or Clamato and Bud?

  123. Neil Stevens said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:52

    I heard Algore walked into a restaurant and ate all the food in the restaurant and they had to close down the restaurant.

    These rubber pants are hot!

  124. laym said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:52

    I’ve been told to stay away from Bx4′s clams. But I never knew what they were talking about…

  125. Felonious Monk said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:53

    Historically contextualized Jay Nordlinger:

    Surely no one who remembers Real Merican Patriots being lynched, raped, enslaved, denied legal rights and humane treatment all the while being referred to as Teabaggers can doubt the nobility of our cause. Yes, it happened. Shut up. Fuck.

  126. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:53

    I’ve been told to stay away from Bx4’s clams.

    Aw, shucks!

  127. Substance McGravitas said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:53

    John McCain’s Prune Juice Nog

    Ingredients:
    3 jars crinkled striped burrfish pancreatic juice
    1 jigger prune juice

    Add the striped burrfish pancreatic juice remotely to the prune juice since it’s lighter. Serve in a small furry mug. Await compliments.

  128. laym said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:56

    Aw, shucks!

    I’m sure that it really steams you.

  129. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 5:59

    I’m sure that it really steams you.

    Yeah, but not so much that I’ll take a razor to my little neck.

  130. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    December 5, 2009 at 6:02

    Yeah, but not so much that I’ll take a razor to my little neck.

    Better by razor than bivalve.

  131. M. Bouffant said,

    December 5, 2009 at 6:11

    No mixed drinks, no organ meats, no recipes from the Internet. That is how I made it past 50. Your life-span may vary.

    Anyway, I was Googling “inane, affectless drone” & look what was in the dropdown menu. Yes, Mr. Stevens twits as “presjpolk.” And, he must approve of that photo.

    Online conservative activist and software developer

    Online activist.” The very definition of Keyboard Kommando.

  132. laym said,

    December 5, 2009 at 6:18

    presjpolk

    But precious few have mourned the passing of
    Mister James K. Polk, our eleventh president
    Young Hickory, Napoleon of the Stump

  133. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 6:20

    software developer

    Right- how the hell can he develop programs for hand axes?

  134. tigrismus said,

    December 5, 2009 at 6:22

    Judging from that pic, it looks like the zombie apocalypse is coming early this year.

    Dammit, I’m not even half finished shopping for gifts.

    Also.

  135. Alex said,

    December 5, 2009 at 6:23

    I was trying to come up with a clever way to say that Polk would have never been accepted by the modern Republicans, but, sadly, he’s apparently an American exceptionalist who went to war with everybody, lowered tariffs, and refused to take on slaveowners. Is this guy their new “last real president before the communofascist takeover”?

  136. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    December 5, 2009 at 6:28

    Polk’s crowning achievement is still being rhymed by the Animaniacs with “folk”, “smoke” and “spoke”.

  137. Jay Are Eff said,

    December 5, 2009 at 6:29

    Look at the suggestions for “i like to”, in particular the second one. It’s NOT NSFW, I’ll have you know.

  138. Galactic Dustbin said,

    December 5, 2009 at 6:33

    “Sure Miami is flooded up to the 3rd story, but why isnt anyone talking about the floors that ARE NOT flooded?!?!”

  139. Higgs Boson said,

    December 5, 2009 at 7:02

    The evil google gag search term suggester will NOT get old. It will kill me every time. I’m not joking.

  140. yam said,

    December 5, 2009 at 7:03

    Happy Hour Pie

    Oreo cookie pie crust
    3 cup mini marshmallows
    ½ cup milk
    1-½ cups frozen whip topping
    3 tbs. White cream de cacao
    3 tbs. Brandy
    14 oz. sauerkraut drained and chopped
    1 cup additional crushed Oreos

    1. Combine milk and marshmallows in a saucepan heat until melted and creamy.
    2. Remove from heat, fold in whipped topping, adding brandy and creame de cocao.
    3. Fold in sauerkraut and add pour mixture into pie shell.
    4. Sprinkle remaining Oreo’s over top and chill.

    I’m not kidding, this is a real recipe

  141. gocart mozart said,

    December 5, 2009 at 8:29

    When you type in “Neil Stevens” + “douchebag” the first in the google list is about him so I think that proves that there is nothing wrong with Google.

  142. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 8:57

    Right- how the hell can he develop programs for hand axes?
    Hey, I worked on the device drivers for those.

  143. Smut Clyde said,

    December 5, 2009 at 9:09

    No mixed drinks, no organ meats, no recipes from the Internet. That is how I made it past 50.

    That regime would leave very little of my lifestyle intact.

  144. M. Bouffant said,

    December 5, 2009 at 10:20

    I wasn’t necessarily advising any one to try to pass 50. (Or 55.) Life merely becomes duller, if that can be imagined.

  145. justme said,

    December 5, 2009 at 11:29

    to be used in the family, but radioactive outside the family.:

    Ah, the wingnut reveal. It’s fine to be a racist among friends, just don’t let folks see you.

  146. handy said,

    December 5, 2009 at 12:05

    Look at the suggestions for “i like to”, in particular the second one. It’s NOT NSFW, I’ll have you know.

    On my internets the top two suggestions were “i like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur” and “i like to think of jesus as a mischievous badger.”

    OK kinda weird, but I wouldn’t call that NSWF, now, would you?

  147. Doc Washboard said,

    December 5, 2009 at 12:12

    The amazing thing to me is that, for this guy, the fact that “climate gate” shows up on the list is actually proof that it has been scrubbed by Google. I always thought that “this is central to my point” was a Sadly, No! invention–a bit of hyperbolic exaggeration for comic effect–but I guess not.

  148. N__B said,

    December 5, 2009 at 12:18

    I like to imagine Jesus with his thumbs taped to his hands so that he was Dinosaur Jesus.

  149. animus said,

    December 5, 2009 at 14:00

    Raptor Jesus has thumbs taped to his hands?

  150. animus said,

    December 5, 2009 at 14:03

    Or if you tape Jesus to a mischievous badger, something about dinosaurs? I’m confused.

  151. actor212 said,

    December 5, 2009 at 14:43

    You typed in “cli” and the first listing isn’t “clit”??????

    GOOGLE IS CONSERVATIVELY BIASED!

  152. actor212 said,

    December 5, 2009 at 14:46

    ABOVE: Neil Stevens (not Photoshopped)

    So there was life before Moonraker for Jaws?

  153. actor212 said,

    December 5, 2009 at 14:54

    I personally am calling it “climaquiddick”. “-quiddick” is the new “-gate”.

    I’m going to need a new flying broom…

  154. Arky said,

    December 5, 2009 at 15:06

    That picture would be a million times less creepy if you could just see his hands.

    Or maybe not.

  155. Scott said,

    December 5, 2009 at 15:21

    The wingnuts are so deranged by climategate, they’re pushing to have Al Gore jailed for it.

  156. secretlysomeoneelse said,

    December 5, 2009 at 15:31

    Meanwhile Dan Riehl has teh ghey seks fantasy about Andrew Sullivan.

  157. The Notorious P.A.B. said,

    December 5, 2009 at 15:35

    Aside for Neil Stevens, if you happen by any chance to be related to Rachel Stevens, please accept my apologies for all the light-hearted joshing and ribbing I’ve engaged in at your expense (but srsly, fix ur shirt) and hook a buddy up. I know she’s married now, but, I mean this in the most heterosexual way possible, Alex Bourne would not be unwelcome.

    You suck.

  158. The Goddamn Batman Eats EVERYTHING With Fava Beans And A Nice Chianti said,

    December 5, 2009 at 20:07

    He looks like Hannibal Lecter’s younger brother, but instead of eating other people, he eats other people’s boogers. Also make note of his responses in that thread, which never rise above (or even to) the level of I know you are but what am I?

  159. Breathless said,

    December 5, 2009 at 20:19

    Caligula.

  160. justme said,

    December 5, 2009 at 22:35

    I always thought that “this is central to my point” was a Sadly, No! invention–a bit of hyperbolic exaggeration for comic effect–but I guess not.

    Always. Trust. The. Shorter.

    Truth be told, it has been years since their reality lapped our satire. How can you possibly exaggerate stupid so huge it blots out the sun?

  161. Andrew N.P. said,

    December 5, 2009 at 23:49

    Meanwhile Dan Riehl has teh ghey seks fantasy about Andrew Sullivan.

    Wow. I mean, wow. There’s homophobia, and then there’s “Holy fuck, even Fred Phelps would be embarrassed.” I assume Dan poops with a wide stance?

  162. Incipient Bivalve said,

    December 6, 2009 at 2:50

    What’s all this then?

  163. montag said,

    December 6, 2009 at 4:06

    That is clearly the smile of a man supremely uncomfortable with the act of smiling….

  164. Smut Clyde said,

    December 6, 2009 at 8:14

    Rictus? Bloody near put our disk out!

  165. Zuzu said,

    December 6, 2009 at 9:48

    Good God, are none of these people bright enough to actually, you know, hit the “search” button?

    Search results for “climatega.”

  166. Doctorb said,

    December 6, 2009 at 22:28

    When I was a kid and I’d watch Star Trek (TOS, although back then we called it “Star Trek” because it was the only one) reruns late at night, I’d sometimes forget to turn it off before the end of the credits where that incredibly creepy alien face would show up. So then I’d have to watch something like The Honeymooners or whatever was on next, because no way was I falling asleep. That picture of Neil Stevens is basically the same thing.

  167. sarah said,

    December 8, 2009 at 0:41

    whenever someone says, “too bad, so sad” their argument becomes invincible times infinity, so there. no tagbacks.

  168. Half Elf said,

    December 9, 2009 at 21:01

    If I was this Neil Stevens I would quit the internet. Seriously, Neil. I have met several drunks who quit driving on account of the danger. We thank them. But Red State is just irresponsible. Suppose Neil Stevens only hurts himself this time. He consents to humiliate himself publicly. A man who’d go that route would as likely drive the Van of Progress into a farmers’ market.

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