Comments on: Did You Hear The One About The Farmer’s Daughter?

By: tomcj

tomcj — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 06:22:51 +0000

I left this comment at the site, and I hope that Surber prints it!

I wrote:

And people say conservatives don’t have a good sense of humor! This is brilliant and the commentary is brilliant!

I hope this does go viral and Don Surber get the credit for this!

Fox News needs to bring back “The 1/2 Hour News Hour” !!!!

With pure gold like this, everyone will see just exactly how funny and smart and intelligent and witty conservatives can be, IF, and I hope Don Surber and the commenters here get involved!!!, IF conservatives put all their brain power to the task of just enjoying life and being funny.

Down with PC! Up with conservative wits!!!

Conservatives can do it all!!!!

By: actor212

actor212 — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:33:26 +0000

beaver frescoes
O tempera! O mores!

When your beaver hits tempra in a fresco by Smut Clyde,
That’s “O mores!”

By: Sirius Lunacy

Sirius Lunacy — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:06:19 +0000

George W. Bush was traveling through Vermont and stopped to talk to a local farmer.

“How large of an acreage do you cultivate?” Bush asked.

“Oh, it’s pretty big,” the Vermonter replied. “My farm extends for about a hundred yards in that direction and for nearly a hundred-twenty yards in that. And how large an acreage do you handle?”

Bush smiled.

“Back home,” he said, “I have a ranch with my house located at one end. I can get into my truck at the house in the morning, turn the ignition key, step on the gas, and by the end of the day I still won’t have reached the other end.”

The Vermont farmer nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, that’s tough. I once had a truck like that, too.”

Bush replies “Really? I had an entire administration like that.”

By: actor212

actor212 — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:04:00 +0000

I tried painting with beaver on oilpaper, but the medium was too recalcitant.

If you tip her a twenty, she becomes easy.

Real easy.

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:08:40 +0000

Alicia Morgan said,
Palin baby?

Ah, so it’s like the NATO naming conventions for Eastern-bloc hardware and crypto systems (two syllables = jets, one syllable = propellor craft).

By: Nom de Gwar

Nom de Gwar — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 08:34:49 +0000

Isn’t “assless chaps” redundant?

For that matter, aren’t dildoes always humorous?

By: Alicia Morgan

Alicia Morgan — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:34:56 +0000

Palin baby?

Boys:

Prick
Trick
Stick
Dragg
Splatt
Hock
Puck

Girls:
Strumpet
Valvoline
Blister
Oleo

By: Interrobang

Interrobang — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 05:27:29 +0000

The next Palin baby is going to be named Zamboni. Ole Sarah even said so. She wants him to grow up to be a smooth operator, and not in a rink-y-dink sense, either. (Veiled hockey cup reference!)

By: J Neo Marvin

J Neo Marvin — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 03:31:38 +0000

Back to the serious part of the thread: just caught C-Span, where some former Bush “terrorism expert” is testifying before the Senate about what Fort Hood truly means, while Joe Lieberman nods sagely. Nauseating.

Wise men give opinions
And we’re wise to listen
Pick the crumbs of our republic,
Something senseless happens
They assign it meaning
Shake it at us like glowstick,
Shiny objects blind your eyes!

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 03:25:08 +0000

Bisonboarding in progress.

By: tigrismus

tigrismus — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 03:10:38 +0000

Or perhaps “O Castors” or “O Castorimorpha” or summat? Poop.

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:42:23 +0000

beaver frescoes
O tempera! O mores!

By: g

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:37:43 +0000

Have the proprietors abandoned us again?

By: tigrismus

tigrismus — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:21:01 +0000

Would beaver frescoes be recalcimine?

By: zombie rotten mcdonald

zombie rotten mcdonald — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:09:06 +0000

I tried painting with beaver on oilpaper, but the medium was too recalcitant.

Your media must be prepped using a woodchipper, or industrial food processor.

By: Strangefate

Strangefate — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:06:48 +0000

If I click on the link to Surber’s site will Dueling Banjos start playing? I’ll feel cheated if it doesn’t.

By: PeeJ

PeeJ — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:01:05 +0000

[Goes back to trying to create a "Garden of Eightfold Paths" joke]

I wouldn’t bother; Borges already did it.

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 01:59:31 +0000

I tried painting with beaver on oilpaper, but the medium was too recalcitant.

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 01:57:45 +0000

I tried to follow the Eightfold Path, but my BoddhiSATvas were too low.

[Goes back to trying to create a "Garden of Eightfold Paths" joke]

By: tigrismus

tigrismus — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 01:55:28 +0000

Buddhist always buy from Zen Cohen’s Kosher Dogs.