Nov
13

Nothing will make them happy




Posted at 16:49 by Brad

Via John Cole, here’s a Red State Action Alert:

Today Barack Obama is going to announce that the terrorist mastermind of September 11th, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, will be sent to New York City for a criminal trial in a civilian court.

In that trial, the terrorist will get all the rights afforded an American citizen in a criminal trial, including the right to a fair trial, the right to a taxpayer funded attorney, the right to review all the evidence against him, potentially including classified intelligence matters, the right to exclude evidence against him including, potentially, any confession obtained through enhanced interrogation techniques, etc.

So yes, the basic gist is that they’re outraged that we won’t be allowed to use evidence obtained through torture at Mohammed’s trial. This is standard wingnut fare. But wait! We’ve got more:

At best, this will be a show trial fit not for the American Republic, but a third world kleptocratic totalitarian regime.

Soooooo… wait. You guys are opposed to having unfair trials with predetermined outcomes? Then why were you just ranting at Obama for being a wimp and not using evidence obtained through torture? Have you suddenly come out in favor of the rule of law where anyone can get a…

At worse, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed will gain access to classified material he can then leak to other terrorists while New York yet again becomes a target for terrorists. We have already had occasions in this country where terrorists’ sympathetic lawyers have conveyed information, orders, and plans to other terrorists.

Oh, never mind. You don’t want him to even have access to lawyers.

So what is an acceptable outcome here, friends? If he gets a fair trial, you’re pissed. If he gets a show trial, you’re pissed. I understand you disapprove of everything Obama does, but this game of “heads-I-win, tails-you-go-fuck-yourself” gets awfully tiresome.

378 Comments »

  1. D.N. Nation said,

    November 13, 2009 at 16:55

    Shorter wingnutz:

    Obama’s unwillingness to apply totalitarian notions of justice shows just what a Stalinist he is.

  2. IM said,

    November 13, 2009 at 16:58

    Sentence first, trial later!

    In times of trouble, turn to the wisdom of children books.

    Probably they don’t like the idea of trial, even show trial, at all. Or have you ever seen a trial in an action movie?

  3. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 13, 2009 at 16:58

    The fact that we are not allowed to use evidence obtained through torture is proof that we’ve become a third world totalitarian regime. Ohhhhhhhhhh-kayyyy.

    And…and…and…if this bad, bad person is allowed to have a lawyer, the lawyer will pass on top-secret national security information to him and his whole terrorist network, because….because…

    Shit, they don’t even TRY to make sense anymore.

  4. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:03

    Also:

    while New York yet again becomes a target for terrorists

    Oh, it’s time for wingnuts to pretend they give a shit about New York again?

  5. Deedee Scozzazzazzazzazzazza Nov. 04 said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:04

    We have already had occasions in this country where Republican legislators have conveyed information, orders, and plans to other terrorists.

    Fixed.

  6. Ted the Slacker said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:07

    Imagine you have a cat, a cat which likes to bring half-dead birds and rats and mice and lizards etc into the house.

    Sometimes you just kill the poor creature mercifully, sometimes you kill the critter because they are a goddamned pest, others you take to a vet, others you release. Imagine further that some animal rights group finds out about this and got all pissy because you took these decisions with all these creatures. And it got all pissy not because you for example, you killed animals, but because you were hurting your cat’s feelings.

    Also.

  7. TimWB said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:09

    Dude,
    It’s a false choice.
    They want him shot.
    Without trial.

  8. El Cid said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:16

    Remember, also, too, that the hallmark sign of authoritarian banana republics is that they provide health care to their citizens, which is why the heroic new democracy of Honduras (accomplished only within the past few months when the death squad democracy army helped throw out the awful elected guy) does not but that hellish banana hell of Costa Rica does.

  9. qb said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:16

    –They want him shot.
    Without trial.–

    No, no, they want him waterboarded to death without trial. And, of course, they want it on video, for wanking purposes.

  10. dex said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:17

    at what point in this trial will harry dean stanton scream “avenge me”? at no point? then what you have here, sir, with your “due process” and “rule of law” is nothing less than a sham and a farce.

    also, wolverines.

  11. Ted the Slacker said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:17

    Oh, it’s time for wingnuts to pretend they give a shit about New York again?

    Like how the fundies give a shit about Israel. It’s got to get blown-up for there to be a point to their lives.

  12. teh Universal Schlong said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:18

    Stop grunting and hum, Erick.

  13. Looch said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:22

    If he floats, he’s a witch.

  14. superchunkiest said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:22

    so i locked my keys in the car last night and just said “screw this” and called off from work. they’re threatening to fire me, but let ‘em try. that joint couldn’t run without my expertise.

  15. Looch said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:24

    Also to be pointed out: Erk Erksome is an attorney. The mind does not reel, it asplodes.

  16. El Cid said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:27

    Let me just say I laugh every time I see that graphic.

  17. Sirius Lunacy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:28

    Also to be pointed out: Erk Erksome is an attorney. The mind does not reel, it asplodes.

    Yes, but he’s not a sympathetic lawyer. Pathetic applies however.

  18. ice weasel said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:33

    THEY’RE JUST ANGRY GODDAMNIT DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!

    Seriously, it’s unfocused, impotent rage at everything. They just hate. Lots of things. I’m not tired of their tirades because they’ve never changed, they’re pathetic people who just want they want and to hell with everyone else who doesn’t agree (as their sweaty hands tighten on the plastic grips of their kel-tec pistols).

    It’s funny actually.

  19. Sirius Lunacy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:37

    No, no, they want him waterboarded to death without trial. And, of course, they want it on video, for wanking purposes.

    What they really want is for him to escape or even to be set free after the trial and then commit another major terrorist attack against the “east coast elites”. In their minds this would garauntee a Republican landslide in the next election, make it easy to start new wars and get rid of some predominantly Dem voters all at the same time. Remember the slogan from their convention… Party First! (or something like that)

  20. kingubu said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:39

    As usual, the only question is “stupid or dishonest” and I’mma go with “dishonest” this time.

  21. Boneless Meatloaf said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:40

    What they really would love is an action movie. You know, they’re flying the guy to NYC for the trial — he breaks free (with help of some dastardly sleeper agent right inside his security escorts!), hijacks the plane, heads toward the Empire State Building, cackling maniacally. Then the passengers (led by Bruce Wills) rise up and fight him. In the climax, Willis throws him out the door, and he crashes through the roof of the courthouse, wiping out the judicial system that probably was gonna turn him loose anyway.

  22. N.C. said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:41

    Can’t the Strike Force solve this by having its members mail things to the DOJ? Maybe to tell Eric Holder that he’s being a big baby, they can mail him envelopes full of talcum powder.

  23. El Cid said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:42

    What they really would love is an action movie. You know, they’re flying the guy to NYC for the trial — he breaks free (with help of some dastardly sleeper agent right inside his security escorts!), hijacks the plane, heads toward the Empire State Building, cackling maniacally. Then the passengers (led by Bruce Wills) rise up and fight him. In the climax, Willis throws him out the door, and he crashes through the roof of the courthouse, wiping out the judicial system that probably was gonna turn him loose anyway.

    And on his body, inside his coat, are found all the secret nuke codes Obama gave him, along with the original Kenyan birth certificate he used to buy his freedom from the Usurper in Chief, who then turns out to be one of the reptilian aliens.

  24. IM said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:43

    >What they really want is for him to escape or even to be set free after the trial and then commit another major terrorist attack against the “east coast elites”.<

    I think a large part of the problem is that many of these people really think a maximum security prison is like Arkham Asylum.

  25. Sirius Lunacy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:44

    The last thing they want is a fair trial that results in a conviction and justice being served. That will only show that the “bleeding heart liberals” were right all along and that their Mr “W”onderful was wrong once again.

  26. El Cid said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:46

    I think a large part of the problem is that many of these people really think a maximum security prison is like Arkham Asylum.

    Yeah, but video games with accurate representations of SuperMax facilities would probably be really boring. First person passing food through the food tray shuttles? Clicking a combination of keys to see the over-view of prisoners in their fluorescent lit cells?

  27. tigrismus said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:47

    We have already had occasions in this country where terrorists’ sympathetic lawyers have conveyed information, orders, and plans to other terrorists.

    Lawyers, plural? More than Lynn Stewart, whose conviction was Constitutionally abhorrent?

  28. tigrismus said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:51

    Can’t the Strike Force solve this by having its members mail things to the DOJ? Maybe to tell Eric Holder that he’s being a big baby, they can mail him envelopes full of talcum powder.

    Heh, I have to admit I kept expecting to see a recommended mailable item, easily purchased from his online store.

  29. Steerpike said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:52

    But…but…but these aren’t criminals–they’re TERRORISTS! which is a million-bajillion times worse! Just like Hasan! If we convict him of murder and execute him under a military court, then baby Jeebus will cry. He was a terrorist, which means the case should be handed over to the FBI, and then tried in federal court, rather than…wait a minute…

  30. Rusty Shackleford said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:54

    Erk is a lawyer? For real?

  31. Pere Ubu said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:55

    this game of “heads-I-win, tails-you-go-fuck-yourself” gets awfully tiresome

    “But it’s MY ONLY LINE! *sob*”

    /python

  32. mmy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:55

    When Bill O”Reilly – who, let’s face it, is like a RINO compared to your average Trike Force subscriber – is saying that the only reason we take a political route is because “we can’t kill all the Muslims,” then I think you know the only thing that will make them happy.

  33. Joe Max said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:56

    Neo beat me to it, but…

    Queen of Hearts: Now then, are you ready for your sentence?
    Alice: But there has to be a verdict first.
    Queen of Hearts: Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.
    Alice: But that just isn’t the way.
    Queen of Hearts: [shouting] All ways are…!
    Alice: …your ways, your Majesty.

  34. Joe Max said,

    November 13, 2009 at 17:57

    Sorry, IM beat me to it! Rather. And also.

  35. Steerpike said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:00

    Actually, if the US is in a “war”, by their “logic” now, what Hasan did was to change sides in that war, and proceed to attack the military personnel of his former army, now his enemies. That makes this a case of treason, followed by an act of war, ending, most likely, in an execution, just as every army in history has carried out when it has identified traitors within its ranks.

    What is absolutely is not is an act of terrorism. He didn’t attack a defenseless civilian population in order to promote a political agenda. That would be like, oh, I don’t know, firebombing a city like, for instance, Fallujah, in order to punish the population there for supporting a resistance movement against a hostile occupying army. Now THAT would be an act of terrorism.

  36. IM said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:01

    Glenn Greenwald, who is of course critical of the decision, cited Alice in Wonderland (or through the looking glass?) too.

  37. cyntax said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:01

    Erk is a lawyer? For real?

    Just file under: can’t make this shit up.

  38. genius plus love equals said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:03

    i don’t really care about this guy, or any other islamic extremist, but i do care about being entertained. so what i think they should do is have a contest, open to all americans, to see who can come up with the most amusing and viscerally satisfying way to execute him. finalists would appear on television, in a kind of american idol format, to justify their plans. there would be a celebrity panel, consisting of henry kissinger, simon cowell (sp?), and maggie cheung (because it would be hot having maggie cheung talk about the logistics of torture, that’s why) who would question and critique the finalists. then the plan that wins would be enacted on national television in times square on new year’s eve.

  39. they gave you life, and in return you gave them hell said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:08

    Actually, if the US is in a “war”, by their “logic” now, what Hasan did was to change sides in that war, and proceed to attack the military personnel of his former army, now his enemies. That makes this a case of treason, followed by an act of war, ending, most likely, in an execution, just as every army in history has carried out when it has identified traitors within its ranks.

    distinction without a difference. just execute the bastard horrifically. seriously. religious nuts wanna be martyrs, make ‘em martyrs.

  40. Looch said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:08

    Erk is a lawyer? For real?

    According to his bio at erkerksome.org he was an attorney professionally and still has a current bar license. And, notable if not already widely known here, Redstate is owned by Eagle Publishing. Not that this changes culpability for crazee…

  41. kingubu said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:08

    the plan that wins would be enacted on national television in times square on new year’s eve.

    What, Teh Heartland ain’t good enough for you? Elitist pig.

  42. Pere Ubu said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:12

    just execute the bastard horrifically. seriously. religious nuts wanna be martyrs, make ‘em martyrs.

    Dude, y’know, just sayin’, but the DO make decaf these days that’s every bit as tasty as the regular stuff. Why not give it a try?

  43. Alex said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:12

    He wants Obama to summarily execute them, at which point he can call Obama a Nazi

  44. Steerpike said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:18

    distinction without a difference. just execute the bastard horrifically. seriously. religious nuts wanna be martyrs, make ‘em martyrs.

    I disagree, and so do Hannity, Beck, Limbaugh, O’Reilly and every other RW gasbag. They are all in full shriek mode because the DOJ announced that Hasan would be tried for murder, rather than terrorism. They want it called that so they can now say that we experienced a jenn-you-wine terrorist attack on Obama’s watch.

    The DOJ has made it clear that there is not enough evidence to show Hasan was part of some nefarious overarching terrorist conspiracy, so a conviction on those grounds would be unlikely.

    Of course, to your other point; yeah, dead is dead. Hasan won’t be any deader regardless of who tries him of what.

  45. Ginger Yellow said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:19

    “Dude,
    It’s a false choice.
    They want him shot.
    Without trial.”

    To be fair, so do I . But that’s why I’m not a constitutional republic.

  46. owlbear1 said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:19

    …but i do care about being entertained.

    Make it a Jack Bauer mini-series.

  47. Bruce Sharp said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:24

    So let me get this straight… they don’t want those accused of masterminding the 9/11 attacks to have to face New Yorkers?

  48. tigrismus said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:26

    Torturetainment. Ye gods.

  49. Boneless Meatloaf said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:26

    I said Willis, but yeah, Jack Bauer would be better — he’s experienced at enhanced interrogation after all, and they could make a couple of shows out of that alone, in a 24 mini-series. Think of the ratings. Although it would be a trip to have the Willis character give one of his signature “yippie ki yay, mofo” taglines.

  50. cyntax said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:29

    They want him shot.
    Without trial.”

    To be fair, so do I .

    I’m not sure that life in Leavenworth for this crime wouldn’t be worse.

  51. Br'er Terrorist said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:29

    …then the plan that wins would be enacted on national television in times square on new year’s eve.

    Oh please NOT that! Anything BUT That!!!!

  52. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:31

    distinction without a difference.

    We have a legal system in this country. It’s designed to enact justice, not to make YOU feel better. Sorry.

  53. laym said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:31

    The Trike Force graphic makes me smile and giggle, every time.

  54. gocart mozart said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:32

    “Also to be pointed out: Erk Erksome is an attorney.”
    He really should get into dentistry. something to fall back on.

  55. Br'er Terrorist said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:32

    The only thing worse would be a Rotten Tomato tour of all fifty states.

  56. FlipYrWhig said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:33

    They are all in full shriek mode because the DOJ announced that Hasan would be tried for murder, rather than terrorism.

    It’s actually kind of an interesting semantic, er, thingee.

    I feel like (judging by what we’ve heard) that Hasan committed a kind of hate crime, that he killed to send a message and intimidate and what have you, and thus he’s effectively a terrorist (like Eric Rudolph or the Beltway Sniper guy).

    But in the current climate, “terrorist” implies “terrorist organization,” and it doesn’t seem like we have that. There’s no network. (Hey, remember David Horowitz’s “Discover the Network”?)

    So the “call him a terrorist!” brigade is trying to win two rhetorical gambits at once: to make people say that Hasan’s acts had the intent of terrorizing, *and* to make him seem like an agent of a wider conspiracy. Because the latter is something they’d very much like to blame Obama for.

  57. cyntax said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:36

    We have a legal system in this country. It’s designed to enact justice, not to make YOU feel better. Sorry.

    Personally, I feel like the trial and the attempt to objectively discern and judge the facts is very important to bringing an event like this to a close. The idea of reframing such a senseless act within our concept of justice makes me feel much better than just putting a bullet in this guy’s head.

  58. Sirius Lunacy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:36

    They want it called that so they can now say that we experienced a jenn-you-wine terrorist attack on Obama’s watch.

    Of course if they do insist on saying that this was a jenn-you-wine terrorist attack then I will soon be able to point out that under Obama’s watch the terrorist responsible was caught, tried and brought to justice. Whereas the terrorist responsible for the attack under Bush’s watch, you know the one that W said he would get dead or alive, the one he spent about a trillion dollars to go after, that Bin Laden guy, is still out there somewhere.

  59. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:37

    So the “call him a terrorist!” brigade is trying to win two rhetorical gambits at once: to make people say that Hasan’s acts had the intent of terrorizing, *and* to make him seem like an agent of a wider conspiracy. Because the latter is something they’d very much like to blame Obama for.

    Well yeah, all that, plus “terrorism” is a force so evil, powerful and overwhelming that mere rule of law cannot possibly combat it and the only effective solution is to wet your pants while firing a rifle randomly in all directions at once.

  60. Br'er Terrorist said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:37

    Did I say rotten tomatoes?

    I meant fresh, plump, juicy tomatoes!

    The Horror!

  61. Rusty Shackleford said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:42

    I feel like (judging by what we’ve heard) that Hasan committed a kind of hate crime, that he killed to send a message and intimidate and what have you, and thus he’s effectively a terrorist (like Eric Rudolph or the Beltway Sniper guy).

    Excellent point, FlipYrWhig.

  62. Boneless Meatloaf said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:43

    It really is a mystery to me how they can be in full hyper-rage over this terrorist, but have amnesia about Bin Laden. Never hold anyone to account over that failure.

  63. Sirius Lunacy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:49

    Also, there already was a terrorist attack on Obama’s watch. Scott Roeder. Who also was already captured and hopefully will soon be brought to justice.

  64. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:50

    “Also to be pointed out: Erk Erksome is an attorney.”

    I know little of law and its practice, but I begin to get the sense that it’s not like my own field of software engineering in one important sense: there are a lot of utter imbeciles who have somehow managed to secure and retain employment in the field, quite probably over the heads of actually qualified people, despite the fact that they do nothing but step on their own dicks and scream about it all day long.

  65. histrogeek said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:51

    In that trial, the terrorist will get all the rights afforded an American citizen in a criminal trial.

    I’m pretty sure the Constitution (OK the Bill of Rights but it’s the same thing) says the “accused” not “citizen”. All people get the same rights in U.S. courts supposed lawyer dude. I know that burns your cookies but tough shit.

  66. FlipYrWhig said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:52

    I hadn’t really thought about it before, but there definitely seems to me to be a difference between acts of terror committed by a person and acts of terror coordinated by a larger organization. But Bush-era conservatives truly don’t think there’s much difference there.

  67. laym said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:53

    The WTC was attacked in 1993, some of the perpetrators were caught, convicted, and are serving time.

    And yet, through the shit-haze that hangs over the open cesspool that is the discourse in this time and this country, these things are rarely mentioned.

  68. Mr. Wonderful said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:54

    “The last thing they want is a fair trial that results in a conviction and justice being served. That will only show that the “bleeding heart liberals” were right all along and that their Mr “W”onderful was wrong once again.”

    Hey–!

  69. cyntax said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:55

    despite the fact that they do nothing but step on their own dicks and scream about it all day long.

    Yeah but Orly’s even got Erk beat for sheer jurisprudential fail.

    Insane Wingnut Lawyers–the next Boston Legal?

  70. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:57

    Insane Wingnut Lawyers–the next Boston Legal?

    Heh, that’d be something. Probably be cancelled faster than “the Half-Hour News Hour”, though.

  71. Looch said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:58

    I think I know what Erk is up to. He probably has a special, Red State Trike Force Dependz Titefit(tm) impervious “pants liner” he sells on his Amazon site. It comes with the logo embossed, I suspect, and for a few extra dollars you could have your Red State Trike Force Code Name (and number) printed on it as well (so they don’t get mixed up when they have meetings and then call an emergency requiring a Titefit(tm) deployment).

    Oh, and the liners match their special Trike Force FreedomCapes(tm).

  72. Rusty Shackleford said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:58

    In a way, I wish I could step on my own dick.

  73. laym said,

    November 13, 2009 at 18:59

    Insane Wingnut Lawyers

    In which the prosecutors only go after people who receive government assistance, and the defense attorneys only serve those who make 7 figures.

  74. Sirius Lunacy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:00

    Insane Wingnut Lawyers–the next Boston Legal?

    Or perhaps a movie version? An updated remake of And Justice for All.

  75. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:00

    Brad: I demand that you tell me where you got that picture. I need something for my trade magazine that illustrates the result of much of what passes for line integration these days, and that picture would be perfect.

  76. Looch said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:00

    Stoopit “(tm)” was where it should be in preview. Stoopit preview.

  77. Sirius Lunacy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:02

    In a way, I wish I could step on my own dick.

    I can, but sadly, only because I’m double jointed.

  78. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:03

    In a way, I wish I could step on my own dick.

    I know what you mean, but the guys I’m talking about only manage it by having really short legs.

  79. Rusty Shackleford said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:11

    The Meatmen could do it.

  80. jim said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:13

    Nothing will make them happy?

    Au contraire, mon frere.

    To see America suffer horribly & at great length under a Democratic president, to watch & cheer as multitudes of innocent people are immiserated – even better if all that misery occurs for no good reason whatsoever – & best of all, to pin the blame squarely on Barack Obama, whether he did anything to bring it about or not.

    Trust me: I’m pretty sure that these things would make them as happy as a sophomore with a brand-new crush.

    It’s very easy to make a psychopathic sadist happy. Easy – & foolish.

  81. g said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:14

    Speaking of insane wingnut lawyers – has Mr. Mustard from Cornell weighed in on this yet?

  82. N.C. said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:20

    Speaking of insane wingnut lawyers – has Mr. Mustard from Cornell weighed in on this yet?

    Hell yeah, he knows all about proper dick-stepping technique.

    Wait, what?

  83. laym said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:20

    Can any Jack McCoy law-talking types help me understand how the prosecutors are going to get around that little matter of the 183 waterboarding sessions? Will they claim that he didn’t say anything in those sessions? Will they have to take the position that torture didn’t work, and present a case that was based on interrogations and investigations, other than the torture sessions?

    If that’s what happens, we can look forward to brains melting out of the ears of many a wingnut.

  84. tigrismus said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:23

    I know what you mean, but the guys I’m talking about only manage it by having really short legs.

    Godsdammit, I take a shower and return to read something to which I have a fitting retort only to scroll down and see it’s been said. Fuck it all, I’m not showering EVER AGAIN.

  85. Jack McCoy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:27

    what the hell am i even doing these days? i have adam schiff’s old job, but i’m also blundering around doing my old job and i’m also doing the job that my assistants used to do. i know i’m the only thing the show has going for it these days but do i really have to be on camera for all 42 minutes? eventually i’m going to also be a detective and the coroner and i’ll also have to sell myself hot dogs outside the courthouse where i will go in and present oral arguments to the judge, who will be me. i mean what the hell man, what the hell.

  86. DAS said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:28

    I feel like (judging by what we’ve heard) that Hasan committed a kind of hate crime – FlipYrWhig

    What would happen if Hasan was tried and convicted of a hate crime? Would that make wingnut heads explode? What if we liberals dropped our support of anti-hate crime legislation and it became a matter of course to try those who have targeted, e.g., homosexuals for terrorism — after all they tried to terrorize a community and attack our nation’s freedoms.

    So many opportunities for wingnut head explosions.

    Meanwhile I don’t get the wingnut love for secret evidence. Aren’t wingnuts supposed to be paranoid about “gummint” power? And what could be more powerful than to convict people based on wingnut evidence …

    It’s almost as if today’s wingnuts are the spiritual descendants of anti-Dreyfusards.Do wingnuts forget that sometimes secret evidence, because it is not exposed to the light of day, is very dim evidence indeed and that when you convict someone incorrectly based on said evidence (or think you have everyone involved in the conspiracy because you’ve failed to fully vet the evidence), actual criminals go free? It’s almost as if today’s wingnuts, had they been around at the time of Dreyfus’ trial would have been altogether happy with Esterhazy, Sandherr, et al not being convicted of their crimes …

  87. Jack McCoy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:29

    ps i’m totally conflicted about my old days as a hippy radical and my new job as a da. has everybody picked up on that? coz we can dedicate a few more storylines to it if there’s still any goddamn confusion.

  88. DAS said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:33

    Jack — you do realize that everything you are complaining about is your own fault, right? If you would have just listened to Adam Schiff and made that deal, you wouldn’t be in the pickle you’re currently in.

    It’s not too late, Jack. Remember what your old boss always told you … “make a deal”.

  89. Sirius Lunacy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:35

    Let me just say I laugh every time I see that graphic.

    I love it too. The only change I would make would be to make the pedal posts come straight out from the center of the square wheel. They’re pretty close to straight already though. that would be a tough trike to ride even if the wheel was round.

  90. Whale Chowder (nee OneMan) said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:35

    “They want him shot.
    Without trial.”

    Well, to be fair, that’s already been done. Looks like he’s paralyzed as a result.

    Oh wait, that’s Hasan and this was written about KSM.

    The two seem to have been conflated in this thread and I’m Staying In The Boat, not gonna find out if the RSTF post has the same problem.

    If KSM is tried and convicted constitutionally and conventionally, these asshats will lose any remaining justification they had for the last 8 years. Which of course would be delicious. And I’m pretty sure that the DOJ wouldn’t do such a high-profile trial unless they thought they could get a conviction.

  91. Jack McCoy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:43

    man, i don’t think you understand the kind of pressure i’m under living in dick wolf’s world. i mean yeah, being a character in tommy westphall’s dream may be a serious bitch, but to live in dick wolfistan is truly to be a sinner in the hands of an angry god. mike moriarty was a sane, sober man before he became ben stone.

  92. Lurking Canadian said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:51

    Can any Jack McCoy law-talking types help me understand how the prosecutors are going to get around that little matter of the 183 waterboarding sessions?

    I wonder about this, too. What I know about the law comes entirely from TV, of course, but if this were an episode of Law and Order, the defense could probably have the whole case thrown out as “fruit of a poisonous tree”, if any piece of information anywhere in the chain of evidence (including the guy who told us about the guy who told us about the guy who told us where to look for the thing) was tortured. Since that probability approaches unity in this case, it will be interesting to see if they have any evidence that isn’t thrown out.

    And that, wingnuts, is why we don’t torture prisoners. If we torture them, we have to let them fucking go.

  93. Snorghagen said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:53

    It’s almost as if today’s wingnuts are the spiritual descendants of anti-Dreyfusards.

    Yep. The anti-Dreyfusards quickly got to the point where defending national honor (as they conceived it) was far more important than truth or justice. Within a very few years they were toying with what later became known as fascism. Modern-day wingnuts seem to be following the same trajectory.

  94. justme said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:54

    In a way, I wish I could step on my own dick.

    Well, you could, but I doubt the bragging rights would be worth cutting it off.

  95. Just Alison, aka Snail Joust said,

    November 13, 2009 at 19:59

    What they really want is for him to escape or even to be set free after the trial and then commit another major terrorist attack against the “east coast elites”.

    This.

    Of course if they do insist on saying that this was a jenn-you-wine terrorist attack then I will soon be able to point out that under Obama’s watch the terrorist responsible was caught, tried and brought to justice. Whereas the terrorist responsible for the attack under Bush’s watch, you know the one that W said he would get dead or alive, the one he spent about a trillion dollars to go after, that Bin Laden guy, is still out there somewhere.

    And this.

    Well yeah, all that, plus “terrorism” is a force so evil, powerful and overwhelming that mere rule of law cannot possibly combat it and the only effective solution is to wet your pants while firing a rifle randomly in all directions at once.

    And this.

    Sorry, but I can’t manage intelligent comment on less than 3 hours sleep. Just call me Ms Crankypants (nothing to do with Miss Pre- or Post-jean).

    And just to join in the fun, I can’t step on my dick because I don’t have one, but I’ll happily step on any dicks that are waved in my direction.

  96. t4toby said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:02

    I don’t ‘do’ CBT.

  97. t4toby said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:02

    But I would be willing to drop-kick a bag o’ dicks.

  98. Snorghagen said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:03

    In a way, I wish I could step on my own dick.
    - – - – - – - – - – - –
    Well, you could, but I doubt the bragging rights would be worth cutting it off.

    No need! The hard-working rubber novelties industry is busy day and night producing highly durable facsimiles that are life-like enough to satisfy even the most discerning dick-stompers.

  99. Just Alison, aka Snail Joust said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:03

    What if we liberals dropped our support of anti-hate crime legislation and it became a matter of course to try those who have targeted, e.g., homosexuals for terrorism — after all they tried to terrorize a community and attack our nation’s freedoms.

    DAS, I love you and want to bear your children.

  100. Whale Chowder (nee OneMan) said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:04

    “but I’ll happily step on any dicks that are waved in my direction.”

    Thanks for the generous offer but I think I’ll pass.

    *turns his back and zips back up*

  101. Steerpike said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:09

    but I’ll happily step on any dicks that are waved in my direction.”

    Besides “waved’, there’s also “swung”, “fluttered”, “bobbed”, “hoisted”, “pointed”, “sprung”, “dangled” and “launched” to consider

  102. Lolly said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:12

    So, McCoy, are they paying you for all those jobs?

    Apparently not, since you still have to moonlight shilling for a stockbroker.

    Time to unionize the NYC DA’s office, dude.

  103. elmo said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:14

    The wingnutz who are crowing about Hasan being a terrorist are doing it so they can scream about “the first domestic terror attack since 9/11″ being on Obama’s watch, and how “Bush kept us safe from Islamic terror after 9/11.”

    In the very next post, those same wingnutz go on to crow about how great it is that DC sniper John Muhammed was executed, because everyone knows that the DC sniper attacks were Islamic terrorism.

    I so want to invest in furcking calendars for these people.

  104. Jack McCoy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:15

    So, McCoy, are they paying you for all those jobs?

    Apparently not, since you still have to moonlight shilling for a stockbroker.

    Time to unionize the NYC DA’s office, dude.

    have you seen how i dress? the other day i was loitering outside the offices of this 20something blonde bimbo they just hired and a guy dropped a quarter in my coffee cup, told me to get a hot meal and a place to sleep for the night. alimony and all those sexual harassment suits from ex-assistants ain’t cheap.

  105. ice weasel said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:16

    This is just like the rightwing, waging war against people they consider to be bloodthirsty savages and then acting like bloodthirsty savages themselves.

    If they like torture and the death penalty so much why don’t they move to Saudi Arabia?

    A virtual wingnut paradise.

  106. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:17

    mike moriarty was a sane, sober man before he became ben stone convinced that he was the star of the show and demanded a huge raise after the first season, prompting Dick Wolf to replace him like a lightbulb.

    Fixed.

  107. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:17

    So, uh, I wonder if the wingnuts ever realize that their pants-pissing, authoritarian cocksucking reactions are exactly what the terrorists want? I mean, there has to be some glimmer of self-awareness somewhere deep inside their dark little retrogressive souls, right? Who the fuck am I kidding, right?

  108. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:19

    So, uh, I wonder if the wingnuts ever realize that their pants-pissing, authoritarian cocksucking reactions are exactly what the terrorists want?

    T&U terrorizing again.

  109. Sirius Lunacy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:20

    but I’ll happily step on any dicks that are waved in my direction.

    Also

    DAS, I love you and want to bear your children.

    Careful DAS it might be a trick!

  110. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:20

    The wingnutz who are crowing about Hasan being a terrorist are doing it so they can scream about “the first domestic terror attack since 9/11? being on Obama’s watch, and how “Bush kept us safe from Islamic terror after 9/11.”

    Doncha love how, in their world, Bush gets 9/11 as a sort of mulligan, with the clock reset from that point?

    If, God forbid, there is a huge terrorist attack in the near future, of course the wingnutz will call for the nation to rally around Obama the way they did for Bush.

    Right?

  111. Mike Moriarty said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:28

    mike moriarty was a sane, sober man before he became ben stone convinced that he was the star of the show and demanded a huge raise after the first season, prompting Dick Wolf to replace him like a lightbulb.

    oh, a wolf the dick sympathizer i see. and just how did the show turn out when he replaced me with nick carraway, d.a? hmmmm? sleep with one eye open, pal.

  112. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:30

    So, uh, I wonder if the wingnuts ever realize that their pants-pissing, authoritarian cocksucking reactions are exactly what the terrorists want?

    Nope. Nor will they ever realize that the politicians they enable are only interested in sending more and more tax payer dollars to the defense industry, while terrorizing and impoverishing the proles.
    ~

  113. Sirius Lunacy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:30

    I don’t ‘do’ CBT.

    CBT.

  114. cyntax said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:36

    If we torture them, we have to let them fucking go.

    Well yes and no. If you want your justice system to be consistent with the ideals it purports to uphold, then yes. Otherwise, no.

    Most wingnuts seem to fall into the latter category. Thus resulting in either farce or tragedy, depending how much of the government they’re in control of at any give time.

  115. elmo said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:37

    Doncha love how, in their world, Bush gets 9/11 as a sort of mulligan, with the clock reset from that point?

    It’s even better than that.

    9/11 was actually Clinton’s fault, because he spent the 90′s creating a booming economy being hounded by hypocritcal Republicans winning a war in Europe getting blowjobs while the Islamofascist menace plotted against us. Clinton created the conditions, and it was just Bush’s ill fortune that resulted in the actual attacks being delayed until his term.

    Obama, on the other hand, being a weak Communist America-hating Muslim sympathizer, is the one who personally recruited Major Hasan, promoted him through the officer ranks, and ordered the CIA to stand down when they had proof that he was plotting with al-Qaeda to murder our brave servicepeople. Because he not only hates America, but he really hates Texas.

    God, I wish I were kidding. I need a shower now.

  116. Lolly said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:38

    While you’re here, Jack, another legal question:

    Does it violate any laws to require all asst. DAs to have experience working as models?

  117. Jack McCoy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:47

    hey one of my ADAs had experience working as a vampyre hunting/dating lapd detective before she moved over. then the robotic little tart dropped the news, last day on the job, that she was a lesbo. how do you think that made me feel?

  118. ice weasel said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:49

    I was just listening to Rush Limbaugh complaining who Kalied Shiek Mohammed won’t be getting a trial of his peers since he is a terrorist.

    Limbaugh actually suggested that Cindy Sheehan should be the judge in the trial and the jury should be made up of Chris Matthews, Kieth Olberman, Saul Alinsky’s son, Rev. Jeremiah Wright and Bill Ayers. The whole thing was quite laughable to say the least.

    What? It’s good to be informed what your enemies are saying.

  119. Tommmcatt said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:54

    If Rush had gone to trial I suppose his jury should have been composed of Mike Savage , a paranoid schizophrenic, 300 lbs of bacon grease, and a hemorrhoid.

    Amirite?

  120. Attorney for the Hooters chain of restaurants said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:54

    Does it violate any laws to require all asst. DAs to have experience working as models?

    Our position is no, there are no violations in those hiring practices.

    Nicely done with that one who was in that forgotten Bond flick, by the way, Mr. McCoy.

  121. inappropriate musical cue department said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:55

    Can any Jack McCoy law-talking types help me understand how the prosecutors are going to get around that little matter of the 183 waterboarding sessions?

    HAHAHAHAHA Wipeout! Nuh nuh NUH Nuh NuhNuh

  122. 300 lbs of bacon grease said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:56

    Leave me out of this. At least I’m the byproduct of a tasty food. I don’t deserve to be in your comparison.

  123. g said,

    November 13, 2009 at 20:56

    Aren’t wingnuts supposed to be paranoid about “gummint” power?

    Well, they’re having a little problem getting all their talking points in sync after the election.

  124. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:01

    then the robotic little tart dropped the news, last day on the job, that she was a lesbo. how do you think that made me feel?

    Horny?

  125. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:06

    they’re having a little problem getting all their talking points in sync after the election.

    Bingo. It’s tricky to do that when the only principle you really have is “we should be in charge and nothing else matters” and you can’t say it aloud and have any hope of winning elections.

  126. tigrismus said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:13

    You know who else believed in giving people fair trials rather than just summarily executing them after torturing them in prison camps? HITLER, that’s who.

  127. Boneless Meatloaf said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:14

    If they’re having a show trial, they should at least have it in Vegas.

  128. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:17

    Hey, did y’all know that Sarah Palin’s “co-author” also co-wrote Donkey Cons with that one douchebag?Where have I been?

  129. Grace Nearing said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:22

    At best…. At worse, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed will gain access to classified material….

    But what’s the At worst scenario? I need to know how many Xanax refills to beg for.

  130. a concerned citizen said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:24

    Meanwhile I don’t get the wingnut love for secret evidence. Aren’t wingnuts supposed to be paranoid about “gummint” power? And what could be more powerful than to convict people based on wingnut evidence …

    Whatever evidence they have is 8 years old now or some shit, right? I can’t come up with an even remotely plausible explanation about how the evidence would help other terrorists. Give up the identity of undercover agents? Doubtful. Find out we coulda got bin Laden years ago but we screwed it up? No, everybody already knew that. Expose deficiencies in our counterterrorism operations? Uh, I’d hope we’ve fixed those by now. Find out who dimed him out? What would he do, have the informant killed? Oh no, cries Erickson, a dead terrorist informant.

    What if we liberals dropped our support of anti-hate crime legislation and it became a matter of course to try those who have targeted, e.g., homosexuals for terrorism — after all they tried to terrorize a community and attack our nation’s freedoms.

    Yeah! Then that Greek Orthodox priest that tried to touch that marine’s junk while screaming “Admiral Ackbar!” and shit would be the one on trial, not the other way around.

  131. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:24

    T&U terrorizing again.

    I certainly hope not. Pants-pissing and authoritarian cocksucking are something I believe should be done in the privacy of one’s own home.

  132. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:26

    And that made no goddamn sense. Is it 5:00 yet?

  133. a concerned citizen said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:30

    I was just listening to Rush Limbaugh complaining who Kalied Shiek Mohammed won’t be getting a trial of his peers since he is a terrorist.

    Seems like after calling everything they don’t like for the past decade “terrorism”, there would be a pretty long bench there. Add Howard Dean or Barney Frank, Jenna Jameson, anybody who every bought a bag of weed, anybody in favor of gun control, etc.

  134. The Ghost of Lenny Briscoe said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:31

    My soul will never find rest until the “Law & Order” franchise is stabbed through the heart with a wooden stake.

  135. Smut Clyde said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:32

    They are all in full shriek mode because the DOJ announced that Hasan would be tried for murder, rather than terrorism.

    People are not going to be happy if Hasan proves to be psychotic and unfit to stand trial.

  136. Pere Ubu said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:34

    I was just listening to Rush Limbaugh

    I’m sorry to hear that. My condolences.

  137. Smut Clyde said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:38

    “Also to be pointed out: Erk Erksome is an attorney.”
    He really should get into dentistry. something to fall back on.

    Think twice about what you wish for. Going by precedent, that could easily end in court filings which recount Erick-of-that-ilk’s wild performance as a sexual partner.

  138. Looch said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:39

    Red State is also in full conniption mode over the revelation that the RNC’s insurance plan for its employees included payments for **GASP** abortion. They are calling for heads. On sticks. That and the Teabagger Party implosion makes it kind of a good week, for me anyway.

  139. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:41

    Red State is also in full conniption mode over the revelation that the RNC’s insurance plan for its employees included payments for **GASP** abortion

    What are they going to do? Demand refunds for their donations?

  140. Rafar said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:41

    From the comments;

    “And of course, it sends the message to our enemies that there’s nothing you can do to us that will get you sent through a process rougher than the one we used on Michael Vick or Martha Stewart.”

    The funny thing is, this sounds like a high-minded compliment to the rule of law in a democratic state to me. It sounds like a criticism to them.

    Weird. It’s like we use different alphabets of something.

  141. 300 lbs of bacon grease said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:42

    What are they going to do? Demand refunds for their donations?

    I was thinking that they would demand that any RNC employees or relatives who got an abortion would be forced to get re-pregnated.

  142. Looch said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:44

    What are they going to do? Demand refunds for their donations?

    From the post:

    IF YOU HAVE DONATED TO THE RNC AT ANY TIME SINCE 1991 CALL THEM AT (202) 863-8500. GET NAMES. DEMAND REFUNDS UNLESS THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE ARE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. IF THEY DON’T HEAR DIRECTLY FROM YOU THEY WILL DO NOTHING.

    They’re screaming.

  143. Tommmcatt said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:45

    It’s good of a food by-product to have an opinion of the Republican Party. I wonder what a 2 tons of sweet butter would think?

  144. laym said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:47

    What are they going to do? Demand refunds for their donations?

    If these were normal, sane people, there would be some embarrased, hands-over-mouth coughing, and mumbling about how no one could possibly have ever used the abortion coverage, but they were taking care of this oversight … soon. Very soon.

    But the Trike Force Purity Brigade is going to make them change the coverage. How do you think your standard issue RNC staffer feels about that?

  145. laym said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:48

    It’s good of a food by-product to have an opinion of the Republican Party. I wonder what a 2 tons of sweet butter would think?

    I wasn’t going to bother saying “nym fail,” but OK … nym phail. Also.

  146. Looch said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:49

    How do you think your standard issue RNC staffer feels about that?

    Or people calling for heads on pikes? Specifically, their heads.

  147. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:51

    They’re screaming.

    Oh, god, that really is a thing of beauty, isn’t it? And do they legitimately believe that the RNC can just say, “Oh, here you go! Here are all your donations from the last 15 years!”?

  148. ice weasel said,

    November 13, 2009 at 21:54

    “How do you think your standard issue RNC staffer feels about that?”

    Nothing after that meeting in the men’s room with Larry Craig.

  149. Start Spreading The News, The Goddamn Batman Is Leaving Today said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:02

    The absolute worst thing that could happen would be that, through a wacky series of misadventures, KSM ends up driving a cab and learns that America is not so bad of a country after all, especially once he strikes up a relationship with a nice Jewish girl. Then they catch him and Al Pacino is his lawyer… we’ve all that that nightmare, right? (Mine usually involves me suddenly realizing that I’m naked in the courtroom; luckily, everyone’s too busy watching Pacino chew up the scenery.)

  150. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:08

    Perhaps the Republican abortion-enablers should, you know, volunteer to spend some time in prison for being accessories to murder. There’s a town in Montana that has some free jail space.

  151. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:21

    Fortunately, now that we’ve made KSM into a living legend of America destroying Islamofascistic über-terror-taster Allahu-Akbar Mujahadeen – simply executing him without trial won’t make him a martyr or anything.

  152. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:22

    No, I don’t know what a terror-taster is either. I blame LCROSS.

  153. g said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:36

    GET NAMES. DEMAND REFUNDS UNLESS THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE ARE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.

    Get names of who? Held accountable in what manner? What does he expect the RNC to do? Exhume Lee Atwater and hang him in effigy?

    Point of fact, wouldn’t one think that even if RNC employees had insurance coverage for abortion, being good Republicans and all, I’m sure they would never have obtained one for themselves or their families…..would they?

    Oh, and I do hope that Erk takes a look at the coverage he has through his employer….

  154. LD said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:38

    Considering the Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, is there a death penalty in New York? I (after quick check) thought there is not, but I could be wrong.

    If not, how long before this comes a wingnut cryingpoint?

  155. JM said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:39

    At worse, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed will gain access to classified material he can then leak to other terrorists while New York yet again becomes a target for terrorists.

    What? Why would they do that?

    Despite the attacks on the World Trade Center in 1993 and 2001, the Department of Homeland Security actually stated our area has “no” national monuments or icons.

  156. JM said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:40

    Considering the Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, is there a death penalty in New York?

    It’s a federal trial.

  157. g said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:46

    JM beat me to it.

  158. PeeJ said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:48

    Considering the Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, is there a death penalty in New York?

    It’s a federal trial.

    And A.G. Holder has already said they will ask for the DP.

  159. Steerpike said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:52

    And A.G. Holder has already said they will ask for the DP.

    Now that sounds really extreme, inhuman, degrading and completely un-called for!

    Oh wait, you meant DP as in “Death Penalty”…Well, that’s OK then. Carry on.

  160. slippy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:53

    Erk is a lawyer? For real?

    I am reminded of this quip:

    Q: What do you call a medical student who graduated with a D average?
    A: Doctor.

    I wouldn’t want that fucktard representing me for any reason. But somebody gave him a law degree.

  161. g said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:54

    CabbageHammer has a ragegasm.

    According to him, we should all be forced to use the word “terrorist” when referring to Hasan, because not doing so “creates a clear and present danger.”

    Personally, I think CabbageHammer himself is a pretty good example for how batsh*t crazy an ideologically deranged a shrink can get – Hasan could probably point to him as evidence in his defense.

  162. slippy said,

    November 13, 2009 at 22:56

    IF YOU HAVE DONATED TO THE RNC AT ANY TIME SINCE 1991 CALL THEM AT (202) 863-8500. GET NAMES. DEMAND REFUNDS UNLESS THE PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE ARE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. IF THEY DON’T HEAR DIRECTLY FROM YOU THEY WILL DO NOTHING.

    Yeah, I’m sure the RNC will just start cutting checks for 18 years’ worth of back donations.

    Folks are unglued from reality. Maybe they should find a different party. Is it possible that Repukes are only now figuring out that their party leadership are a bunch of hypocritical dirtbags?

  163. Steerpike said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:01

    Of course, since the Catholic Church has always vehemently oppsed the death penalty (other kinds of DP perhaps OK, YMMV), I’m sure they are busy organizing the laity to protest the trial and execution of Hasan of the dread pirate terrorist Hasan, and threatening to excommunicate anyone who speaks out in favor of taking his precious, precious life.

    Wait…I’m being told that they are not…never mind

  164. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:07

    Oh, and I do hope that Erk takes a look at the coverage he has through his employer….

    Right? If his private insurer covers abortions, he is paying into the baby-killing pool and there is nothing he can do it about it because INVISIBLE HAND OF THE MARKET.

  165. ice weasel said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:07

    They ask me how I know He lives.

    He lives within my heart.

  166. Galactic Dustbin said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:10

    Oh, it’s time for wingnuts to pretend they give a shit about New York again?

    no, no, no they just want it’s downfall done the RIGHT way.

    Ya know, with an army of right thinking ‘mericans from the heartland sweeping in and burning it to the ground ( and all the brown people, or LIEbrals, or teh gays in it) .

    Then, atop Lady Liberty’s crown they watch the flames and grateful hot supermodels wrap themselves around their huge shoulders.

    THATS the right way, anything less in their eyes is waste.

  167. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:23

    Speaking as a homosexual man,what has Obama done for me? Other than look good shirtless.

  168. Speaking as a concerned liberal... said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:27

    Except for all the things he’s done, what has Obama done for me? I’m very concerned he’s not doing things, except for when he does them, where I am concerned that he did them too fast.

  169. Matt T. said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:28

    Speaking as a homosexual man,what has Obama done for me? Other than look good shirtless.

    Speaking as a wind-up toy, what has Howard Chaykin done for me? Other than make tasty burritos.

  170. Tommmcatt said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:29

    Speaking as a gay dude, I would never refer to myself as “a homosexual man”. It is a bit troll-y, n’est pas? A bit like referring to yourself as an invert.

  171. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:30

    I’m a male human homosexual. Why would I feel shame about the buttsex I enjoy having with other human male homosexuals? Is that strange? Homophobe.

  172. Steerpike said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:32

    Speaking as a concern troll, I would ask, aren’t you concerned, as I am, that the president is not addressing all of my concerns in a caring, concerned way?

  173. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:34

    Speaking as an anonymous internet blowhard, what has commenting on the internet ever done for me? Other than provide an outlet for petty misanthropy.

  174. Matt T. said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:34

    I’m a male human homosexual. Why would I feel shame about the buttsex I enjoy having with other human male homosexuals? Is that strange? Homophobe.

    Dude, you sound like someone who’s only vaguely familiar with males, humans, homosexuals and anal sex. You sound like one of the Lizard People from Dimension X trying to pass itself off as a gay dude in order to infiltrate society for nefarious purposes. “Greetings, fellow male human homosexuals! Let us engage in a round of buttsex and then perhaps you can take me to your leader so that I may eat, er greet him. And perhaps have buttsex.”

  175. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:36

    Sesame Street update!

  176. Kang said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:38

    Vote for me, CLIN-TON

  177. tigrismus said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:39

    Speaking as a liberal concerned with issues important to homosexuals, women, and indeed to all reality-based and evidence-demanding liberals, I’m concerned that “besides look good shirtless” assertion was unsupported with proper illustrative linkage. As a forward-looking liberal progressive-type person I plan to be concerned about lack of totally nekkid links as well.

  178. laym said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:40

    petty misanthropy

    I prefer grand misanthropy.

  179. Steerpike said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:41

    Mmmyes, we. are. from. mmmfrance. Now let us consume mass quantities of teh buttecks. mmmeps…mmmeppps

  180. laym said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:43

    Select issue from Things We Think Will Annoy Liberals drop down list. Options are:

    Gay rights
    Liberal purity
    Heartland voters
    Resurgent Republican politicians

    Continue to next window.

  181. JM said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:50

    Speaking as a homosexual man,what has Obama done for me?

    Looks like the roofies did the trick.

  182. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:54

    Sesame Street update!

    Meathead character actor is a meathead.

  183. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:56

    Carrie Prejean makes mistakes again and again and again and again….

  184. Whale Chowder (nee OneMan) said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:56

    “I’m concerned that “besides look good shirtless” assertion was unsupported with proper illustrative linkage.”

    Hey, if we’re going there, as a heterosexual male I’m deeply, deeply concerned that Michelle Obama hasn’t done anything for me other than look good in sleeveless tops and swinging a hula-hoop.

    Address my post, libs!

  185. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 13, 2009 at 23:57

    I’m a male human homosexual. Why would I feel shame about the buttsex I enjoy having with other human male homosexuals?

    I don’t know. Why should you?

  186. deering said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:00

    “My soul will never find rest until the “Law & Order” franchise is stabbed through the heart with a wooden stake.”

    Aw, come on, Lennie–have some mercy, will ya. If it weren’t for L&O on Fridays, millions of too-tired-to-even-boot-up-a-DVD folk like myself would have to watch GHOST WHISPERER and MEDIUM.

  187. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:01

    Carrie Prejean makes mistakes again and again and again and again….

    I-sinned-but-God-forgives-me trope coming in four…three…two…

  188. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:02

    Speaking as a homosexual man,what has Obama done for me?

    I’m so glad to see Troofy finally emerge from the closet.

  189. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:03

    Speaking as an anonymous internet blowhard…

    Now, now. That’s hardly fair.

    You’re pseudonymous, not anonymous.

  190. tigrismus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:05

    Sesame Street update!

    Oh that is dazzling. The feigned “scholarly and historical definition of political correctness” seriousness after the wailing and gnashing of tooth about how Sesame Street is liberal because they didn’t make fun of Fox in a way that pleased Broadbeard(but the CNN stuff was totally OK!) and the interminable “this art/music/whatever is acceptably conservative, while that is NOT” posts is just too marvelous for words.

  191. Speaking as Coach Urban Meyer.... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:06

    Ding-dong-dilly, libs, but what has the Obummer done for me, the Cool Coach?

    Urban out.

  192. Tommmcatt said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:06

    …watch GHOST WHISPERER and MEDIUM.

    I had as lief stab myself in the eyes with shish-kabob skewers.

    But that’s just me.

  193. Looch said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:06

    I’m so glad to see Troofy finally emerge from the closet.

    Nah. It’s still a sock. But it must have been hard to type. Little steps, though, little steps.

  194. Smut Clyde said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:07

    “The current policy has been in effect since 1991, and we are taking steps to address the issue,” Gitcho said.

    I am intrigued. Does this mean that back in the years of the GHBush administration, anti-abortion views were not such a signifier of right-wing tribal membership?

    Steele has told the committee’s director of administration to opt out of coverage for elective abortion in the policy it uses from Cigna.

    I am also intrigued though not surprised to learn that an employer can unilaterally change the terms of the contract with its employees, removing components of the health insurance that is part of their employment package. Naturally one wonders how to game the RNC into imposing other moral-scold restrictions upon its employees, and into withdrawing other legal but counter-to-policy forms of treatment from their health care.

  195. Looch said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:09

    I am also intrigued though not surprised to learn that an employer can unilaterally change the terms of the contract with its employees

    I wonder if they can, in fact. Lawsuit, anyone? And wouldn’t that be fun to watch?

  196. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:09

    Carrie Prejean makes mistakes again and again and again and again…

    What I am most upset about is that a beauty pageant winner is being turned into some lurid sex object.

  197. Smut Clyde said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:10

    Forgot to say — This all goes to show that private employers rather than the government should be responsible for health-care, because the latter will inevitably succumb to the temptation of providing or withdrawing forms of treatment according to changing standards of political correctness.

  198. tigrismus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:11

    They definitely can during the open enrollment period(just not offer policies they’ve offered in the past, happens all the time), not sure about any other time of year.

  199. The Tragically Flip said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:17

    Does this mean that back in the years of the GHBush administration, anti-abortion views were not such a signifier of right-wing tribal membership?

    Remember the Rockefeller Republicans? They were pro-choice. All gone now.

    There’s accounts around here and there of the fundies “discovering” abortion as a big issue in the late 70s. As I understand it, Roe v. Wade didn’t set the ball rolling for quite some time before the Moral Majority figured out it was a great way to bilk suckers for money.

  200. Rusty Shackleford said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:19

    What does he expect the RNC to do? Exhume Lee Atwater and hang him in effigy?

    Yes, and in that order so the corpse can watch.

  201. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:21

    When you mock instead of addressign my concerns, it only goes to show how littel yuo ever really cared.

  202. Smut Clyde said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:26

    Remember the Rockefeller Republicans? They were pro-choice. All gone now.

    Further evidence that rigid political correctness is the hallmark of liberal ideology.

  203. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:29

    I think Gay Patriot West started drinking early today.

  204. Smut Clyde said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:29

    it only goes to show how littel yuo ever really cared.
    Littel Yuo is a minor character in the fourth book in Ernest Bramah’s ‘Kai Lung’ series, “Idle Days on the Yang-Tse”.

  205. PeeJ said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:31

    Further evidence that rigid political correctness is the hallmark of liberal ideology.

    Yeah. Hallmark is nothing but cloying sentimentalist crap and overpriced kitsch.

    [explanations available for those outside the U.S.]

  206. Looch said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:36

    And. Water on the Moon.

    Even the most wingy of the wingnuts draw the “water=life” possibility, I wonder what this will do to the planetary solipsism that guides so much of the religious community around Merka? I suspect this may take some time to settle in their wittle brains, but settle it will.

  207. Matt T. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:37

    When you mock instead of addressign my concerns, it only goes to show how littel yuo ever really cared.

    No, it only goes to show that no one thinks you’re actually concerned with gay rights much less an actual homosexual-type person, especially since your opening salvo had fuck-all to do with the original post. Personally, I understand and share the frustration the LGBT community has with Obama’s seeming foot-dragging on DOMA, DADT, gay marriage and a number of other issues. That being said, homeboy’s got a full plate as it is and I do believe were he to push hard for gay rights in a country where average citizens in both California and Maine are dumb enough to vote against equal rights because some right-wing jackass convinced them that their kids would have to all turn gay or some dumbass shit, the howler monkeys that make up Limbaugh’s GOP would cause whatever gains the Obama Administration might’ve made to grind to a screeching, shit-flinging halt. Seriously, can you imagine how fucking loony the Tea Bag Nation would go if Obama tried to shove socialist gay-dom down the collective throats of Manly, White America?

    Shit takes time, especially when we’re coming off 8 years of a government that actively and aggressively tried to limit gay rights. I’m not talking about any sort of “11-dimension chess” nonsense, just harsh political reality. It’ll happen. It will. In the meantime, we – all of us, gay and straight – need to hold his and the government’s feet to the fire and keep demanding that this whole “justice and equality for all” actually means something rather than just pouting because we haven’t gotten our ponies yet.

    That all being said, I personally don’t think you specifically are sincere. So, shorter me: you’re fulla shit and could probably care less about gay rights.

  208. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:43

    Oh really “Matt”? Your answer is “Well just wait, your concerns are less important than the concerns of straight white males”? Let’s see…maybe next time Obama comes to my fellow homosexuals and me and wants our support we will tell him he’ll just have to wait….we’ve really got a lot on our plates right now.

  209. PeeJ said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:54

    Speaking as a homosexual…

    Naw. Troll. Pure troll. Trust me folks, my gaydar is and has always been 100% accurate.

  210. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:57

    my fellow homosexuals and me

    Oh, come on. Now you’re not even trying!

  211. PeeJ said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:58

    Here’s how it’s done:

    “Oh really gurlfFRIEND? Your answer ith “Well jutht wait’…

    You get the idea. now go practice it. You should also probably spend some time hanging out in the gay bars to familiarize yourself with the scene. G’head, you know you want to. It’s okay, really, it is.

  212. ckc (not kc) said,

    November 14, 2009 at 0:59

    …give him a break – he’s got a lot on his plate

  213. Matt T. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:00

    Why is “Matt” in quotation marks? That’s my actual name, you increasingly silly person. And, no, that isn’t my answer at all, you’re totally misrepresenting what I said. Which, of course, isn’t surprising because, like I said, I really don’t think you give two tugs of a dead dog’s cock about gay rights and you’re probably just another right-wing troll playing “gotcha” games. Nobody said “just wait”, dipstick, and I am not at all happy with the bumbling and stumbling the Obama administration has done over the past not-even-a-year inre: gay rights. But politics is a slow business, and if you want something done, you have to do something besides sit and whine about it.

    But again, I don’t really think you actually care about gay rights. If you did, you certainly wouldn’t advocate doing absolutely nothing.

  214. Speaking as a homosexual, homophobic monutain brigade punk rock hating riot grrrl rabbi said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:01

    I don’t understand why you libs don’t take me at face value and accept that I am what I say I am.

  215. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:04

    Well, I certainly preface anything I say with: “Speaking as a heterosexual male.” ‘Cause that proves I’m a heterosexual male. Wouldn’t want anybody thinking I wasn’t a heterosexual male. ‘Cause you know how those homosexual males are. Always taking things out of context and shit. “I’m a heterosexual male, dammit! I am, I am, I am!”

  216. ckc (not kc) said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:07

    (should be “fucking as a hetero/homosexual male”, anyway, too)

  217. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:08

    Well, actually I am. Which is why I don’t say it. What’s the sound of one hand clapping, again?

  218. Sockpuppet #47 said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:10

    My gaydar might be pretty rubbish, but the old troll-dar is pinging away like mad.

    Political progress is slow. People with brains recognize that. I mean, in terms of civil rights progress, the US is in the middle of trying to sort out the biggest step backwards it has experienced for many many years.

    Not that Obama hasn’t made any progress at all.. The hate crimes bill was a good start.

    But you really think Obama would have got you gay marriage in under a year, in a country where people are in favour of TORTURE?

  219. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:10

    Wouldn’t want anybody thinking I wasn’t a heterosexual male.

    Let’s ask PeeJ. But not about me.

  220. Speaking as a libertarian furry said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:12

    What has Obama done for ME lately?

  221. Speaking as Brandi said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:13

    Why is it that every time I go into a comedy club, the comedians keep ridiculing the hecklers?

  222. M. Bouffant said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:16

    Other than provide an outlet for petty misanthropy.

    That’s all I ever ask of the Internet. That & all the schadenfreude I can consume.

    And, War in Context on Hammerhead.

    Plus: Jonathan Turley on: Terrorism or not? (MSNBC vid, for wage-slaves prohibited by THE MAN from viewing.)

  223. Speaking as a troll... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:16

    Just wait until I change my nym to something clever. You won’t believe how it will go down. Bookmark it.

  224. Sockpuppet #47 said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:19

    Speaking as a hermaphrodite sofa-humper, Obama hasn’t done anything for ME.

    Okay, the last president set the bar so fucking low that NOT having me hauled off to gitmo and waterboarded counts as doing something for me, but Barry promised unicorns and rainbows!

    Never in the history of politics has a charismatic politician only managed to live up to a small portion of his promises and rhetoric! Not like the good old days I tell you, when you could trust your politicians. When Dick Cheney said he was going to suck your blood and sell your corpse to Haliburton, by golly that was what he DID.

    WHERE IS MY UNICORN BARRY?

  225. tigrismus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:20

    Hey, I wonder if any concerned pro-life conservatives could tell us why they still support the ‘pubbies after decades of foot-dragging on abortion?

  226. Whale Chowder (nee OneMan) said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:24

    Kids, kids…it’s Paulie in another sockpuppet form.

  227. Sum Guy said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:28

    Gee, Mr “Trolling as a homosexual”, would you care to name a president who has done better?

  228. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:30

    Never in the history of politics has a charismatic politician only managed to live up to a small portion of his promises and rhetoric!

    Oh so that excuses it? Or maybe because I’m just a queer I shouldn’t expect anyone to live up to any promises made to me.

  229. tigrismus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:31

    I’m totally sweet on dudes AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT.

  230. M. Bouffant said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:31

    In a Red State Trike Force style, send a coat hanger to those who have offended us.

  231. tigrismus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:33

    hermaphrodite sofa-humper

    Ogdred Weary’s lesser known sequel.

  232. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:35

    hermaphrodite sofa-humper

    A great unreleased Frank Zappa song. The bassoon solo at the three-minute mark is unbelievable.

  233. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:40

    Frank Zappa was an evil exploitative man who exploited his daughter sexually. He made her sing about bondage in “Valley Girl.” That’s who your hero is? He also took advantage of a severely mentally ill man to make his music.

  234. Matt T. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:44

    He also took advantage of a severely mentally ill man to make his music.

    That’s an awful thing to say about Captain Beefheart. Speaking of Zappa and “Valley Girl”, it apparently hacked him off to no end that the great unwashed knew him, if they knew him at all, because of that silly little song instead of his more serious compositions. Sorta like Loudoun Wainwright III and “Dead Skunk”. Which goes to show you, you want to be taken seriously as a musician, don’t release the goofy shit that’ll sell massive amounts to hoi palloi.

  235. Smut Clyde said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:45

    Ogdred Weary’s lesser known sequel.

    Goes well with Red State’s epiplectic tricycle.

  236. M. Bouffant said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:49

    Homosexual, Speaking as a, was probably referring to Wild Man Fischer. Thanks for the expert diagnosis, Sen. Frist.

  237. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:50

    I think he means Wild Man Fischer, who no one would probably even remember at all if not for him.

    I don’t particularly care for Zappa’s sleazy sexist humor, but how did he ever exploit his daughter sexually? I call bullshit on that one.

  238. Dust Bunny/Kitten said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:50

    “I am the dirt beneath your rollers.”

  239. Speaking as a valley girl said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:52

    “Hurt me, hurt me”, I’m SUUUUURRRE!

  240. M. Bouffant said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:52

    “Gag me w/ a spoon,” maybe.

  241. Speaking as a troll... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:52

    That’s an awful thing to say about Captain Beefheart.

    Perhaps he was actually referring to Warren Cuccurullu? Cause, y’know, I think Warren is totally out of his mind.

    FYWP. And such as.

  242. NOT Speaking as a troll... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:53

    nymchange fail.

  243. Speaking as McKenzie Phillips said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:53

    I think the troll has me confused with Moon Unit.

  244. PeeJ said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:58

    Frank Zappa was an evil exploitative man who exploited his daughter sexually. He made her sing about bondage in “Valley Girl.”

    He “made” her sing about bondage. Umm, k, we’ll just let that slide. But its “sexual exploitation, is it? I do not think those words means what you think they means.

  245. Matt T. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 1:58

    Hell, he coulda been talking about Lowell George for all we know.

    OT, I just read AMC is remaking “The Prisoner” with a guy who’d never seen the original series playing Number 6. Yet another reason I’m glad I don’t have cable. On the upside, amc.com has the entire original series for free on its website, which is 100% unadulterated awesome.

  246. Strangefate said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:02

    The way I read it is they’re pissed that he might get even the pretense of a legitimate trial. They hate the whole ‘rule by law’ thing as well as the idea that people have inalienable rights merely because they’re human beings. They’d probably much prefer that he be publicly beheaded without trial or representation as an example to others. That’s because they’re all such hardcore believers in America obviously.

  247. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:03

    OT, I just read AMC is remaking “The Prisoner” with a guy who’d never seen the original series playing Number 6.

    Oh, ferfuckssake, please tell me you’re joking.

  248. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:04

    They’d probably much prefer that he be publicly beheaded without trial or representation as an example to others.

    Kind of undermines the whole “Muslims are evil monsters that cut people’s heads off” bit, but that certainly wouldn’t stop them, God knows.

  249. PeeJ said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:04

    The reviews of The Prisoner remake are in. They aint pretty. It’s getting thoroughly panned. “Not Even Ian McKellen can save it” is one summary I recall.

  250. Matt T. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:04

    Oh, ferfuckssake, please tell me you’re joking.

    Nope.

  251. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:08

    Gee, Mr “Trolling as a homosexual”, would you care to name a president who has done better?

    Presnit Nader.

  252. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:09

    Oh my God, they got Masochist Jesus to replace Patrick McGoohan? What a resume that guy is building up.

  253. Mel Gibson said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:10

    Hey, I know BOTH those guys!

  254. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:11

    remaking the Prisoner without drugs is like …

    umm, remaking “Zardoz” without drugs.

  255. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:12

    you want to be taken seriously as a musician, don’t release the goofy shit that’ll sell massive amounts to hoi palloi.

    If I ever heard anything by Zappa that wasn’t “goofy shit,” I’ve forgotten it.

    Oh, and not to be condescending or anything, but congrats on knowing that “hoi” corresponds to “the” in Greek. You’d be surprised how many of the mob don’t know that.

  256. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:13

    also, how is singing about bondage any different than singing about anything else? Consensual adults, etc. etc. etc.

    Plus, Oh Bondage Up Yours!

    and just about every third Cure song.

  257. The Hoi Palloi said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:15

    Some people are bitter and condescending.

  258. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:17

    Some people are bitter

    proper seasoning can help with that.

  259. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:19

    Didn’t Presnit Nader dismiss gay issues as “gonad politics”? So that’s out. Maybe Speaking Troll will support Sarah Palin who I’ve heard has a gay friend somewhere…

  260. PeeJ said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:19

    Bitter Scribe needs aural exposure to the “Shut up and Play Your Guitar” series. Really, you do.

  261. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:19

    Only hoi polloi think that.

  262. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:19

    You’re right. I should be thankful to Obama for not being as odious as other POTUSes have been. Gee, thanks Mr. President. Thanks for all this nothing!

  263. The Central Scrutinizer said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:20

    Have a donut.

  264. tigrismus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:21

    Some people are bitter

    Bitter people are the hoppiest people of all.

  265. Matt T. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:23

    If I ever heard anything by Zappa that wasn’t “goofy shit,” I’ve forgotten it.

    Zappa did all sorts of “really serious music”-type compositions in the ’80s that required conducting and orchestras and everything. Personally, I think the guy just liked to complain, ’cause thanks in part to Dr. Demento, he didn’t have to work a real job or tour.

    Oh, and not to be condescending or anything, but congrats on knowing that “hoi” corresponds to “the” in Greek. You’d be surprised how many of the mob don’t know that.

    Don’t be too impressed. Up until relatively recently, I thought “hoi palloi” meant the exact opposite of what it means. That is, it meant rich folk, but I blame that on The Three Stooges.

  266. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:25

    J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:09

    Oh my God, they got Masochist Jesus to replace Patrick McGoohan? What a resume that guy is building up.

    So did Mount Vernon ever give Caviezel the Key to the City, like they did Glenn Beck? Seems to me I would have heard about it if they did….

  267. Pere Ubu said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:25

    also, how is singing about bondage

    Singing about who what now?

    …yes, my ears perked up… I’m so ashamed…

  268. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:25

    Bitter Scribe needs aural exposure to the “Shut up and Play Your Guitar” series.

    Speaking as Dragon-King Wangchuck… PENIS.

  269. shaun said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:25

    Can any Jack McCoy law-talking types help me understand how the prosecutors are going to get around that little matter of the 183 waterboarding sessions? Will they claim that he didn’t say anything in those sessions? Will they have to take the position that torture didn’t work, and present a case that was based on interrogations and investigations, other than the torture sessions?

    My understanding is that he was happy to admit that he planned 9/11. They tortured him so he would say Saddam planned 9/11.

  270. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:26

    Bitter Scribe needs aural exposure to the “Shut up and Play Your Guitar” series. Really, you do.

    Try Lumpy Gravy. It’s a half-hour sonic nightmare and the occasional goofy bits just make it even creepier. Good stuff.

  271. Kirk Lazarus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:26

    WHAT do you mean… “some people”?

  272. Looch said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:27

    Speaking as a homosexual… said,

    Eeeny weeny baby steps, eh, Troofie?

  273. Smut Clyde said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:28

    Speaking of the pursuit of hoppiness, a local bottle shop has imported a consignment of Lagunitas and Dogfish IPAs. I look forward to a great deal of SHUT UP SMUT in the course of the weekend.

  274. Looch said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:30

    Speaking as Dragon-King Wangchuck… PENIS.

    Is that a slide guitar?

  275. Alpa Chino said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:31

    Kirk Lazarus said,

    WHAT do you mean… “some people”?

    What do YOU mean… “some people”?

  276. Pere Ubu said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:32

    That is, it meant rich folk, but I blame that on The Three Stooges

    I’d be worried that you’re getting your vocabulary tips from Moe, Larry & Curly/Shemp.

  277. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:33

    Concern troll’s full of shit and a fake homo to boot, but what he’s talking about does have some truth. I mean, this isn’t just a problem from the LGBT community’s perspective–feminists and all sorts of progressives are pretty tired of being told to sit down and shut up.

    But I’d rather think about the Republicans’ circular firing squad right now. Specifically, the commenter freakout over Althouse’s post re: Palin’s dumbassery.

  278. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:34

    “POTUSes”? Is that, like, a word?

  279. Pere Ubu said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:37

    “POTUSes”? Is that, like, a word?

    “POTAII”?

  280. Andrew N.P. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:37

    “POTUSes”? Is that, like, a word?

    Probably not. The correct plural form is POTI.

  281. Andrew N.P. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:38

    Damn. So close.

  282. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:39

    But I’d rather think about the Republicans’ circular firing squad right now.

    The Republican circular firing squad is a sweet thing to be sure, but the more sane Republicans that get purged, the more Blue Dog Democrats we have to put up with. The fake centrists are a more subtle problem than the wingnuts these days. Fucking Overton Window.

  283. Smut Clyde said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:40

    They tortured him so he would say Saddam planned 9/11.
    Imagine the number of toys that will be thrown out of the pram if due to the effects of that torture, KSM is found to be mentally unfit for trial.

  284. M. Bouffant said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:40

    C’mon, playing Stravinsky w/ an electric guitar & a real drummer (or two) was one of the best musical ideas ever.

  285. Pere Ubu said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:40

    A “veto of POTAII”?

  286. Gay-ry Ruppert said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:41

    Speaking as a homosexual, the fact is.

  287. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:44

    C’mon, playing Stravinsky w/ an electric guitar & a real drummer (or two) was one of the best musical ideas ever.

    Incorporating Stravinsky into a doo-wop song may have been even cooler.

  288. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:44

    The fake centrists are a more subtle problem than the wingnuts these days,

    Oh, most definitely. Which is another reason why I bristle at being told to be quiet for the good of the party. At what point do we move so far to the right that it’s acceptable for a “good” Democrat to tell the party to go fuck itself?

  289. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:44

    C’mon, playing Stravinsky w/ an electric guitar & a real drummer (or two) was one of the best musical ideas ever.

    I knew I liked Emerson Lake and Palmer for a good reason…

  290. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:46

    Damn. So close.

    I actually laughed twice.

  291. M. Bouffant said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:47

    Smut, you may an idea that the insanity defense is often used, or works when used in these United Snakes.

    Essentially you have to be in a completely delusional psychotic state at the time of the crime & prove that to a jury of teabaggers. And even if found not guilty by reason of, life in the wig-house is the usual result.

    Even in a completely honest, above-board, not a show trial, no jury will ever let any of them off.

  292. M. Bouffant said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:49

    Nor is it very likely that KSM will not be taken to trial, no matter what shape he’s in, or claims to be in.

  293. M. Bouffant said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:52

    Do not see the electric guitar in this ELP thing: They wanted to be a keyboard/bass/drum band, sez Wiki.

  294. g said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:55

    Althouse is a tool, but those excerpts of Sarah’s book are pretty revealing.

    Palin says of campaign staffer Nicolle Wallace: “I had to trust her experience, as she had dealt with national politics more than I had.

    Uh, yeah!!! So we’re supposed to think she’s a qualified candidate for executive national office, and herself admits she has less experience than a campaign staffer?

    Meanwhile, the media blackout continued. It got so bad that a couple of times I had a friend in Anchorage track down phone numbers for me, and then I snuck in calls to folks like Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity and someone I thought was Larry Kudlow but turned out to be Neil Cavuto’s producer.

    Oh, she’s gonna be GREAT in the Oval Office, respecting leaks and classified information.

    My god – she’s passive enough to be bossed around by her staff, she’s easily manipulated by emotional appeals; she reveals that she sneaks around and does things against her team when they don’t take her suggestion, and she can’t keep a secret.

    It’s an indicator of how this woman’s mind works. She’s so fixated on protecting her image, defending herself as a victim, portraying herself so blame-free that she has no idea that she is doing a great job convincing everyone it’s a good thing she wasn’t elected.

    It’s a little surprising that a ghost writer whose goal is to make her look good would allow such a revelation of her flaws. Unless…..

  295. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2009 at 2:56

    Do not see the electric guitar in this ELP thing: They wanted to be a keyboard/bass/drum band, sez Wiki.

    Greg Lake did guitar stuff, also had a fancy eight-string thingamajig of the type that makes you want to really murder musicians.

  296. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:01

    Althouse is a tool, but those excerpts of Sarah’s book are pretty revealing.

    Yeah, I fucking hate Althouse, but that whole post is pretty much spot-on.

    Palin is a complete narcissist and most likely a sociopath. She will never EVER take responsibility for her actions and she will continue to lie and cover her ass as long as her dumbshit followers lap up every word she says.

  297. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:12

    I’m behind, but did everyone see this?

    Blake Hall, a leading figure in Idaho and national politics for 25 years, was fired Monday as a deputy prosecuting attorney in eastern Idaho and has resigned from the Republican National Committee.

    Hall, a former member of the state Board of Education, pleaded guilty Friday to stalking a former girlfriend and is serving a 15-day jail sentence. He also was sentenced to a year of supervised probation. A six-month jail sentence was suspended.

    But Hall, 56, will keep his $31,000-a-year job as the civil attorney in nearby Fremont County, according to Prosecutor Joette Lookabaugh, a Republican who hired Hall in January.

    Lookabaugh said she told Hall he would keep his job “unless or until his ability to do an outstanding job for Fremont County citizens is compromised.”

    Via Roger Ailes whose site seems to have something against direct links.

  298. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:19

    Seriously, though, with all the orchestral maoeuvres in the dark the President does politically is there any chance he will ever have the cajones to stand up and say “Homosexual men should be allowed to be homosexual with each other if they damn well please?” It’s the 21st century. I’m not asking for flying cars or underwater cities. But I’m afraid there will be flying cars and underwater cities before I’m allowed to marry my boyfriend, or before a supposedly progressive President even has the balls to stand up and say unequivocally that I should be allowed to. I know Obama equivocates as a matter of course and calls it “nuance”, but Christ, this is getting absurd. And I don’t want to hear about “party unity” because I’m supposed to be part of that party. I gave Obama money. I drove people to the polling places to vote for him. With all due respect fucking grow a fucking set already, Mr. President.

  299. g said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:22

    I’m sure you regret now that McCain and Palin aren’t in office.

  300. M. Bouffant said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:28

    “Homosexual men should be allowed to be homosexual with each other if they damn well please?”

    Uh, wasn’t there a SCOTUS decision that found sodomy laws unconstitutional?

    Meaning that you are already allowed to be a homosexual w/ others of your ilk?

    Do you need the President to remind you daily that it’s OK to drive the speed limit, or to remind “colored” people that they can drink from every damn water fountain they see?

    Authoritarian fuckstick.

  301. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:29

    I’m sure you regret now that McCain and Palin aren’t in office.

    No. I don’t. But it cuts pretty close to the bone that the choices are between “Fuck you” and “Privately I support you but publicly, fuck you.” If you haven’t noticed, the elections are over. The choices aren’t “Obama or a Republican” the choices are “Hold Obama accountable and push him to actually do the right thing” or “Keep saying ‘Hey man at least he’s not one of the bad guys’ ” and let the party continue to follow its present agenda.

  302. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:30

    “Homosexual men should be allowed to be homosexual with each other if they damn well please?”

    You don’t know a single gay person, do you?

  303. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:30

    Uh, wasn’t there a SCOTUS decision that found sodomy laws unconstitutional?

    Meaning that you are already allowed to be a homosexual w/ others of your ilk?

    Do you need the President to remind you daily that it’s OK to drive the speed limit, or to remind “colored” people that they can drink from every damn water fountain they see?

    Authoritarian fuckstick.

    So your official position, then, is “Fuck you, queers.” Sorry. I guess I don’t see the humor in homophobia. I guess I thought I was part of the party.

  304. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:33

    “Privately I support you but publicly, fuck you.”

    That’s something of an overstatement.

  305. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:33

    You don’t know a single gay person, do you?

    My boyfriend, among others. I’m sorry if the way I write is a little bit stiff. I don’t really know why that is. I guess I’m not a very good communicator sometimes, especially not when I’m typing about something that is emotional to me. I guess I don’t know why I’d even type about something emotional here…I pretty much just read it for the laughs and I know that in the comments anybody who criticizes Obama is likely to get skewered. Sometimes it’s just hard to shut up and be a good little Democrat I guess.

  306. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:33

    Concern troll is totally plagiarizing from The Onion now. Specifically, that personal about the “local homo inviting other homos over so they can sit on the sand and be gay together”. I haz linkfail at present. Also.

  307. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:35

    I am sorry Substance but your link came up “File not found.” What was it about? I’d sure like to read something tonight that gives me some kind of hope.

  308. tigrismus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:35

    So your official position, then, is “Fuck you, queers.”

    Oh dear me no. I believe the position is “fuck you” personally.

  309. U. Personally said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:37

    Hey, I’ve got as much right to be here as anyone else!

  310. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:37

    Concern troll is totally plagiarizing from The Onion now.

    I was thinking of that Little Britain bit where he’s like, “I’m a lady! I like lady things!” And, no, I’m not looking up any kind of link, either.

  311. Speaking as a homosexual... said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:39

    Concern troll is totally plagiarizing from The Onion now

    I don’t think I am a concern troll. Maybe I am. I don’t know. This isn’t the right venue to express real feelings, I know that and it was silly of me to even try. I have been reading the site for a long time now, and it’s weird how you come to think of posters you’ve read over and over as “friends” somehow, even though you’ve never really interacted with them. I guess I was hoping for a kind voice or two but I know I’m often abrasive and stilted, especially when I’m talking about queer issues. I know you women and men are all brighter and wittier than me, so can you can flail away until you hit bone if you like. I will go back to lurking. I guess I need to learn to be quiet and just accept that things are as they are. Sorry to intrude on the party here.

  312. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:39

    Link.

    http://www.dentonrc.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/101109dnnatdontask.3e7cb7e.html

  313. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:40

    Seriously, though

    what the hell, is this FireDogLake?

    Damn browsers….

  314. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:40

    I don’t think I am a concern troll

    You’re the only one.

  315. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:40

    Hi zombie!

  316. Sockpuppet #47 said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:40

    Gay robot haz a sad.

  317. tigrismus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:40

    Hey, I’ve got as much right to be here as anyone else!

    You may consider it a vigorous invitation to join Nude Atheists.

  318. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:42

    So your official position, then, is “Fuck you, queers.

    I actually believe his stated position is “fuck you, personally

  319. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:43

    No actual gay person, anywhere, in the history of time or space, goes from describing themself as “homosexual” to describing themself as “queer”. I imagine this gentleman also becomes a black guy when he wishes to express concern for how ungrateful “my people” are.

  320. ckc (not kc) said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:43

    [..sniffle..]

  321. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:44

    I’d sure like to read something tonight that gives me some kind of hope.

    I would recommend the webcomic Something Positive.

    …but maybe we define “hope” differently.

  322. Honus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:45

    “They want him shot.
    Without trial.”
    I remember when that happened to Oswald. It wasn’t really very satisfying.

    And “speaking as a homosexual” stay off of my beloved Arab-American Frank Zappa or I’ll come to your house and kick your fucking shitty little troll ass. I know where you live.

  323. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:45

    DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL TIGRISMUS. GET OUT OF MY HEAD ALREADY.

    THAT IS, AFTER ALL, MY SHTICK.

  324. The Kid from Kounty Meath said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:46

    Something Positive being less popular than the godawful pretentious shit known as Questionable Content gives me anti-hope.

  325. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:46

    My boyfriend, among others. I’m sorry if the way I write is a little bit stiff. I don’t really know why that is. I guess I’m not a very good communicator sometimes…

    Okay, dude. If you are for real, I will tell you that I don’t disagree with you. I am a feminist, progressive queer (though I have had the privilege of falling in love and opposite marrying a male-bodied type), and I have felt thrown under the bus by Democrats quite often. We’re just going to have to push. It’s fucking frustrating to be dismissed and marginalized, but *any* movement has had this problem.

  326. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:50

    No actual gay person, anywhere, in the history of time or space, goes from describing themself as “homosexual” to describing themself as “queer”.

    Excellent point. God, I get soft when I’ve been drinking.

  327. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:50

    anybody who criticizes Obama is likely to get skewered

    d00d has f’in big ears. What up wit dat?

  328. kg said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:52

    Duncan Keith!!>!>!!>!>

  329. tigrismus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:52

    MMMMMM, ZOMBRANES!

  330. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:52

    Way worse than a Rickroll…
    LCROSS!!!one!

  331. Matt T. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:53

    I mean, this isn’t just a problem from the LGBT community’s perspective–feminists and all sorts of progressives are pretty tired of being told to sit down and shut up.

    Well, hasn’t it always been that way? In ’68 in Chicago, progressives had their heads bashed in for raising hell at Humphrey’s nomination because he was pro-Vietnam War on up through Clinton’s gutlessness over DOMA and DADT. The Democratic Party is not nor has it ever been “leftist” or really “progressive”, and for that matter, neither has the bulk of America. We had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the era where black folks were actually considered human and women were allowed to vote. Hell, the anti-gay marriage victories in California and Maine show we still have a long way to go simply because most Americans are cowardly and reactionary when lumped into large groups.

    That doesn’t mean, though, that we actually have to sit down and shut up, no matter what the DNC continues to tell us. Sometimes I think that despite all the good the internets and blogs and all that have given to the voting public and progressive causes, it’s a net loss because it allows so many of us to sit on our fat, satiated asses pissing and moaning because we’re not getting our daily pony rides from the government. We got 40-hour work weeks because people were willing to stand up to the powers that be and said, “No, this is wrong” and were willing to get their heads cracked for it if it came to that. Now, we just sit online and cry and promise to never vote for whomever again.

    Anyone who actually paid attention to the last election and what Obama said during it and his actions as a senator yet still thought he was some sort of progressive super hero that would swing in and make everything perfect less than a year into his presidency is a goddamn fool and shouldn’t be taken seriously for anything more complicated than restaurant recommendations, and maybe not even then. He was a vaguely liberal-leaning centrist that ran as a vaguely liberal-leaning centrist, and that’s how he’s governing. And I’m not even going to get into stuff like the corporate media’s vested interest in conservatism or the Overton Window or anything like that.

    Shit fire and hell fuzzy, just because the suits tell you no doesn’t mean you have to take it. Once, progressives would take to the streets for social change; now they complain that someone else isn’t doing it for them. I think too many of us have bought into the conservative meme that a president is a “leader” rather than a servant of the people, mainly because we’re too friggin’ lazy and gutless to actually put our money where our mealy mouths are. We’ve got the power, we just won’t use it ’cause it’s easier to sit and bitch.

    Ya know, Obama did say something is his campaign that I think is worthwhile yet we’ve managed to forget since he was elected: we are the change we’ve been waiting for. If you want it done, fuckin’ do it. Just don’t cry ’cause it don’t happen overnight.

  332. The Hordes Of Kennedy Assassination Conspiracy Writers said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:53

    I remember when that happened to Oswald. It wasn’t really very satisfying.

    Oh, I don’t know about that.

    It was a very good business move from our viewpoint.

  333. Carrie Prejean's Original Schlick Flick said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:55

    No shit? She told me I was the only one…

    That twoseven-timing bitch!

  334. Andrew N.P. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:57

    Technically, he’d be a purity troll, not a concern troll, at least if I’m reading the definitions right. But I’m not getting that vibe from him, at least not from his more recent posts. I think he’s just bad at the Internet. So I’ll go with what T&U said, and add that there are plenty of places to talk about this kind of srs bsns, if that’s your thing.

    Also: it is the 21st century. So where the fuck are my flying cars and underwater cities?

  335. Matt T. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:59

    Shit. Long-ass post WP won’t post. Shorter me: no, the vaguely liberal-leaning centrist president in the corporate-controlled party will no wave a magic wand and make everything bright and wonderful, and you’ve got no one to blame if you actually thought that would happen. You might have to do something besides sit and whine on a blog for actual societal change to occur and it might take more than a week or two.

    This is American politics. Welcome. Get a helmet.

  336. Substance McGravitas said,

    November 14, 2009 at 3:59

    gotahot1 (2 weeks ago) Show Hide
    her music transforms you to a place…and for me that was the nineties. i was like in my early twenties and just experiencing love for the first time (thanks? celine for taking me to a place)

  337. Sockpuppet #47 said,

    November 14, 2009 at 4:00

    Ever notice how more progressive societies have more progressive governments? Funny how that works innit?

    Not that putting effort into politics is futile.. Just don’t expect even the most progressive candidates to be able to take things much further than what your average mouth breather is comfortable with.

  338. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 14, 2009 at 4:02

    Also: it is the 21st century. So where the fuck are my flying cars and underwater cities?

    If you had voted for Hillary, we totally would have had them by now, you Obot fool.

  339. Matt T. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 4:03

    WE are the change we’ve been waiting for.” That’s what the guy said, not “I am the change you’ve been waiting for, so don’t bother getting up.”

    We really have to do something about the cult of personality aspect of American politics. Dude’s a politician, that means at the very least if you want something done that benefits anybody but the very rich, you’re gonna have to kick his ass the entire way. You really think LBJ just woke one morning and said, “Goddamn, I believe I’ll make sure the African-American right to vote is protected.”

  340. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    November 14, 2009 at 4:04

    Also: it is the 21st century. So where the fuck are my flying cars and underwater cities?

    If you giggling Obots had voted for Hillary instead of drinking the Kool-Aid, we would have had them by now.

  341. tigrismus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 4:05

    Speaking, your first post was funny. More in that vein if you’re sincere. I kind of doubt it, but I admit noshing on zombie brains has wreaked utter havoc on my mad mind reading skillz.

  342. Sockpuppet #47 said,

    November 14, 2009 at 4:10


    Also: it is the 21st century. So where the fuck are my flying cars and underwater cities?

    What, New Orleans and a set of chrome 30″ rims not good enough for you?

  343. Snorghagen said,

    November 14, 2009 at 4:10

    I’d sure like to read something tonight that gives me some kind of hope.

    You poor homosexual individual. Perhaps this will give you the hope you so desperately need.

  344. M. Bouffant said,

    November 14, 2009 at 4:16

    I am a feminist, progressive queer (though I have had the privilege of falling in love and opposite marrying a male-bodied type)

    T&U, I’m surprised this didn’t open an extra-large can of newsletter requests. (Though by now even the W. C. pervs have gone home to the bosom of their families & can’t post such stuff ’til dinner’s over.)

    Also: Speaking’s use of “homosexual” reminds me of Wildmon’s AFA, who set up their newsfeed to replace “gay” w/ “homosexual” (No doubt for a very sound reason known only to them.) which resulted in an AP story about sprinter Tyson Gay becoming a story about sprinter “Tyson Homosexual.”

  345. Anonymous said,

    November 14, 2009 at 4:29

    “Speaking as a homosexual” is the new LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

  346. That Girl said,

    November 14, 2009 at 4:35

    I just read that Ann Althouse thing, and the comments are hilarious. I always forget the way that right wingers are DYING to have an idiot for a President. They hate anyone who is smarter than them (i.e., most of the population). It says so much.

  347. Bitter Scribe said,

    November 14, 2009 at 4:36

    …which resulted in an AP story about sprinter Tyson Gay becoming a story about sprinter “Tyson Homosexual.”

    Boy, the AFA really isn’t going to like that up-and-coming hurdler Sodomite Atheist Jones.

  348. Rahm Emmanuel said,

    November 14, 2009 at 4:55

    Faggots should should up and be grateful.

  349. Snorghagen said,

    November 14, 2009 at 5:14

    The reviews of The Prisoner remake are in. They aint pretty

    But the remake has much bigger disciplinary weather balloons!

  350. Longtime Lurker, First Time Poster said,

    November 14, 2009 at 5:15

    I’d just like to take the opportunity to address a few of the points made by the gay guy. In the first place, dude, lighten up. This is a comedy blog. We’re not supposed to discuss actual political views here, this is just where we come to bring teh snark about Repukelicans and the crazy, offensive things they believe. So just chill out.

    Now in the second place, I’m sorry, but most of us don’t really put gay issues at the top of our agenda. I mean would you really rather have President McCain? No? I thought not. So we can’t have gay marriage. You’re just going to have to deal with that. Because those are the two choices: A liberal social agenda or President Palin. Welcome to the real world, buddy.

    Now as Matt T eloquently put it, we are the change. This means we have to work for change if we want to see change, we can’t rely on Obama to do it all for us. This means we can’t complain about Obama’s agenda or the Democratic party’s agenda, because we have to bring the change about ourselves and we can’t count on Obama or the Democrats to do it for us. We need a political solution and to enact this solution, we can’t rely on politicians. So just shut up about social agendas already, and start changing things, you know?

    Furthermore, we have more important things to worry about than gays or feminists and they’re just going to have to take a backseat for a few years while we deal with other, more important aspects of the agenda. Like health-care.

    What is really important is that we keep our majorities in Congress because unless we have these majorities we cannot implement any kind of social agenda or health-care. In order to keep these majorities, we need to be able to make compromises that will appease voters in more conservative districts. Though we may be shaking hands with the Devil, we’re only kidding.

    People who are too impatient for health-care should realize that we can’t do everything right away. Change comes in increments so they shouldn’t complain, they should just shut up and work for a political solution while not relying on Obama or Congressional Democrats for everything because we are the change. Health-care may not be possible right now, because it’s very important for us to keep our majorities in the House and Senate so that we can enact policy that benefits everybody like health-care reform.

    Above all remember this is a comedy blog and that we are mostly here to bring teh snark about the internal inconsistencies, foibles, and intellectual bankruptcy of right wingnuts who are too stupid to even realize that their own party is doing nothing at all for them and screwing them sideways. It is teh funnee.

    Wolverines. ROFL. Also.

  351. jim said,

    November 14, 2009 at 5:38

    Try Lumpy Gravy.

    Add water, makes its own sauce!

    Gotta respect a guy who had an instrumental banned from Top 40 Radio.

  352. Higgs Boson said,

    November 14, 2009 at 5:40

    I would disagree with the above, but if I interacted with any of you I might open up tiny black holes and destroy the Earth.

    Either way, argument ab comedy blog is distinctly meh. Joking around is of course a priority but I think there is enough agility around here that people can shift the mood pretty easily. I mean it’s not FDL. This is a feature, not a bug.

  353. Matt T. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 5:41

    Furthermore, we have more important things to worry about than gays or feminists and they’re just going to have to take a backseat for a few years while we deal with other, more important aspects of the agenda.

    Man, don’t speak for me, please. If you honestly think I meant that gay rights and women’s issues should take a backseat, you totally missed the point. There’s absolutely no reason we can’t have both health care reform and gay marriage and no reason the administration shouldn’t be working on both at the same time. Why they ain’t, well that’s an entirely different matter. And as someone who considers himself a feminist, any capitulation to right wingers on women’s choice is out-of-bounds. Gay rights are civil rights, and if you deny my gay brothers, sisters and friends rights, you deny mine. That aggression will not stand, man.

    And I never said we couldn’t complain about the president’s actions or the Democrat’s agenda. I said we can’t just complain about. The Suptak Amendment and the Blue Dog’s gutlessness is abhorent, but wailing about how Obama hates women and should be run out of office really doesn’t help anyone or anything. I like the guy, but he is the president, so I firmly believe he should wake up every morning with a large gay man screaming at him “Hey, motherfucker, this is bullshit” or the political equivalent thereof.

    What I’m against is the petulance that infects the liberal blogosphere because everything isn’t perfect less than a year into Obama’s presidency. Frankly, my experiences in leftist politics leads me to decide that them that stamp their feet the loudest are doing the least to actually effect change. You want something done, fucking do it. Even voting for a third party is just whiny bullshit grandstanding unless that vote actually has some sting to it, and I say that as someone who voted for Nader in a red state in 2000.*

    But never, ever “shut up”. Fuck that noise. Scream and holler from the mountain tops, blog and comment, give Obama and the Democratic party all kinds of hell. Just don’t shit the bed and suck on your sugar tit because other people will suffer for your petulance. This shit is way too important to be derailed by temper tantrums, especially now when there’s a damn good chance we will see both gay marriage and health care reform within the next 10 years.

    But fuck that “shut up and sit down” business. That’s not how the game works.
    *Don’t want to hear it. Seriously.

  354. Longtime Lurker, First Time Poster said,

    November 14, 2009 at 5:50

    Matt, dude, lighten up. Comedy blog. Just kick back. Enjoy yourself. Bring teh snark. I’m on your side. Purity trolls and uptight progressives need to join the real world and understand how the game is played. Or just go into the woods and shout “Wolverines!”

  355. Longtime Troll, First Time Posting As This Persona said,

    November 14, 2009 at 6:36

    Maybe this will be more convincing.

  356. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 14, 2009 at 6:37

    I thought Frank Zappa was Sicilian-American.

  357. Snorghagen said,

    November 14, 2009 at 6:53

    More Sarah Palin goodness from the Wall Street Journal Op Ed and Political Hallucination Page: Can Sarah Palin Make a Comeback?

    Try it try it try it yesyesyes.

    Matthew Continetti: “In last month’s Gallup poll, Ms. Palin had a 48% unfavorable and 41% favorable rating among independents… Flip those percentages, and they could be serving moose burgers in the White House in 2013.

    If her approval ratings were the exact opposite of what they actually are she’d be totally fucking unstoppable and therefore her triumph is inevitable

  358. Andrew N.P. said,

    November 14, 2009 at 7:00

    If her approval ratings were the exact opposite of what they actually are she’d be totally fucking unstoppable and therefore her triumph is inevitable

    Hey, be nice. His point is that her approval and disapproval ratings aren’t that far apart, so that she’s within striking distance of being a viable candidate. Now, whether Palin in fact has the skill to turn 41 into 48 and vice versa, that remains to be seen. (Personally, my money’s on “no,” doncha know, you betcha, and also too, job creation, maverick, Russia.)

  359. Carrie Prejean's Webcam Schlick Flicks said,

    November 14, 2009 at 7:17

    Palin/Prejean oh-twelve, baby.

    That ticket’s got the Giggity vote locked.

  360. Snorghagen said,

    November 14, 2009 at 7:22

    Now, whether Palin in fact has the skill to turn 41 into 48 and vice versa, that remains to be seen.

    Oh, I’d say it’s very obvious that she can’t… hell, most goldfish have more political skill than Palin. Indeed, the more she tries and the more she’s in the public eye, the more her ratings will sag – aside, of course, from the true wingnuts. My dream is that Palin will be delusional enough to actually make a run for the presidential nomination, splitting the Repubs between the pro-Palin base and the professional politicians who know she’s electoral poison.

    But that’s only a dream. At this point, it looks like she’s written off trying for any elected office and is just going for the bucks from speaking engagements and book deals. Still, I’m delighted to see idiots like Contnetti encouraging her.

  361. Just Alison, aka Snail Joust said,

    November 14, 2009 at 8:50

    Hey, be nice. His point is that her approval and disapproval ratings aren’t that far apart, so that she’s within striking distance of being a viable candidate.

    Errr, not so fast, matey:

    Matthew Continetti: “In last month’s Gallup poll, Ms. Palin had a 48% unfavorable and 41% favorable rating among independents… Flip those percentages, and they could be serving moose burgers in the White House in 2013.”

    Maybe things in the US are not as I imagine them, but aren’t independents, well, independent? And how big are they (as a slice of the population, not as personal bragging material)? I have this mental image of the above poll translating to “Palin’s pretty damn popular amongst men over 85 with a wooden leg and a history of spousal abuse, therefore she’s a shoe-in for Prez in ’13″.

    Or is that just wishful thinking?

    Just in case any of you want to know, it’s ferkin’ hot here, and has been all week, and I’m incredibly cranky (due to (a) lack of sleep and (b) general temperament).

    Fuckity fuckity fuck fuck fuck. I wish it would rain.

  362. g said,

    November 14, 2009 at 8:52

    Apparently, Rush Limbaugh has read palin’s book and has pronounced it as the most substantive policy book he’s EVER read.

    Which just goes to show that Rush Limbaugh has read even fewer things than Sarah Palin herself.

  363. Just Alison, aka Snail Joust said,

    November 14, 2009 at 8:52

    And maturity prevents me from referring to that WSJ writer as Matthew Incontinetti, although I’m sure it’s a joke that no-one’s heard before.

  364. Just Alison, aka Snail Joust said,

    November 14, 2009 at 8:55

    g, that’s such a surreal comment. For starters, I can’t even imagine that the book contains any policy, much less great big gobs of it. I’d wager it contains a lot of whining and self-promotion and denial of responsibility and mud-slinging and baseless accusations, but fuck-all policy.

    Then again, maybe Rush thought My Pet Goat was chock full of policy goodness.

  365. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    November 14, 2009 at 10:37

    Alison, it depends on where you are what “Independent” means. Now here in Washington, we used to be the only state that you didn’t have to register as a member of any political party. (It’s amazing how many sentences you can start with “Washington is the only state that…”) What this led to was everybody voting for who they thought the other guy’s weakest candidate was in the primary.

    Eventually we had to register as “Democrat”, Republican”, Libertarian”, (now), or “Independent.” This worked OK for a while, but the Republicans finally won enough people over by whining about “being told who to vote for in the primary” that we now have an “Open Primary” again. Here, “Independent” means: “Republican, but I want to be able to ratfuck the Democratic primary”. I think most states are similar now.

    Here, in the presidential process, the Washington Democratic party won’t accept the results of the primary, but choose our delegates in the caucuses. The Republicans go 50/50 primary and caucus. It’s a truly screwed-up system. The very concept of a primary election is effectively dead now, since anybody can vote for any candidate.

  366. Doctorb said,

    November 14, 2009 at 10:38

    Lumpy Gravy from Lagunitas was pretty interesting; tasted sorta like food (bread, specifically) and well yeah so it was last year and I don’t really remember much else. The plan is for a new limited production beer for the 40th anniversary of every Zappa album, I think.

    Anyway, speaking as a fellow earth human, I am one of you, see? Let us drink tequilas and discuss our security measures.

  367. Just Alison, aka Snail Joust said,

    November 14, 2009 at 10:42

    Very Reverend, you’ve got one hell of a system there. I’m amazed that Americans, particularly those who shriek so loudly about their freedoms (yet seem totally iggerant about who is and isn’t a threat to them), are content to have to register their political affiliation. To me that seems tres weird, and I can’t imagine Aussies putting up with it (but we’re a fairly contentious lot). I suspect the Aussie response to any such suggestion would be along the lines of “Fuck you, I’ll vote as I like and you don’t need to know about it”.

    Probably only works because the system was already in place, and perhaps because some Americans think everything’s automatically better there than in the rest of the world.

  368. justme said,

    November 14, 2009 at 11:05

    “Speaking as a homosexual” is the new LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

    I always thought it was more of a “MMMNGGGRRRRPHHHGGGGGGSHHHLLRRRRPP”

  369. justme said,

    November 14, 2009 at 11:34

    Alison,

    Percentage of indies depends on how you count em.

    % of all adults

    or

    % of registered and likely voters

    34ish or 22ish respectively. Certainly enough that pretending that most of them don’t hate Palin is worth the effort involved for her BS mongers, I suppose.

  370. Zarquon said,

    November 14, 2009 at 11:56

    OT, I just read AMC is remaking “The Prisoner” with a guy who’d never seen the original series playing Number 6.

    None of the original cast had seen the show before they made it, either.

  371. Carrie Prejean's Webcam Schlick Flicks said,

    November 14, 2009 at 17:51

    I always thought it was more of a “MMMNGGGRRRRPHHHGGGGGGSHHHLLRRRRPP”

    That’s what the boys say. The girl homosexuals say LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

    In the movies, anyway.

    Not that I’ve seen any boy homo movies.

  372. tigrismus said,

    November 14, 2009 at 17:57

    I’m amazed that Americans, particularly those who shriek so loudly about their freedoms (yet seem totally iggerant about who is and isn’t a threat to them), are content to have to register their political affiliation.

    Registering “Independent” is registering as no affiliation with any party, and in many states they can’t vote in the primaries, which are party specific.

  373. Carrie Prejean's Webcam Schlick Flicks said,

    November 14, 2009 at 18:02

    In LA County, every time I register DTS (decline to state) I show up at the polls to find I’m recorded as a registered Democrat. After four re-registrations as DTS, I’m still a Democrat.

    They still don’t get my votes.

  374. Trilateral Chairman said,

    November 14, 2009 at 19:41

    Oh, I’d say it’s very obvious that she can’t… hell, most goldfish have more political skill than Palin. Indeed, the more she tries and the more she’s in the public eye, the more her ratings will sag – aside, of course, from the true wingnuts.

    Which is no doubt why she’s largely confining herself to Facebook posts that someone else has clearly written for her. She can survive as long as she doesn’t actually go out and start talking to people other than her base.

  375. Dr. Psycho said,

    November 15, 2009 at 5:33

    – They want him shot.Without trial. –

    Well, really, what they most want is to establish a precedent so they can have lots of other folks shot without a trial.

  376. WildWillie said,

    November 16, 2009 at 1:04

    He should be given a fair trial — immediately after the execution.

  377. J Neo Marvin said,

    November 16, 2009 at 20:58

    The plan is for a new limited production beer for the 40th anniversary of every Zappa album, I think.

    That’s a lot of beer. I think I’ll pass on the Hot Rats, thanks.

  378. Schedule said,

    October 30, 2010 at 5:11

    Best you should make changes to the post subject title Sadly, No! » Nothing will make them happy to more suited for your blog post you make. I loved the the writing still.

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