Oct
27

A Corndog A Day Keeps The Liberal Away




Posted at 19:18 by Tintin
jeannie_melman_deangelis
ABOVE: Jeannie Deangelis (left)

You know that you really can’t go wrong in the easy ridicule department with a column titled “We want you to eat it! Just eat it!” at the amusingly titled “American Thinker.” Adding to the potential for hilarity, the column is penned by one Jeannie Deangelis who describes herself as “a vehemently pro-life, anti-liberal, Evangelical Judeo-Christian Grandmother of the Baptist denomination” and who apparently perfected her chops as a wingnut writing crank letters to the editor, which is what most of these whack jobs spent their time doing before they discovered the Internet.

Jeannie’s column is in the fine, if well-tilled, tradition of wingnut commentary seeking to establish that whatever the Obamas do, no matter how innocuous or otherwise praiseworthy, is a threat to the nation and a frightening harbinger of the day in the not-too-distant future where federal troops will show up at the door and make conservative Americans turn in their Bibles for Korans, participate in gay orgies, and defecate on Glenn Beck’s Christmas sweater.

So what’s gotten Jeannie all bug-eyed and desperate today? Vegetables and exercise. Seriously:

The word “fair” conjures up images of merry-go-rounds, fluffy, pink cones of spun sugar, candy apples and popcorn. Not if you are invited to the White House. Excited Washington DC school children, disembarking from yellow school buses on the South Lawn of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue were in for a big shock! The Obamas’ idea of a kid’s fair included sermons extolling the benefits of replacing cake and French fries with vegetables.

Imagine finding out you have the afternoon off and are going to the White House for a “fair.” When you get there you realize the festivities include Michelle doing a hula-hoop demonstration followed by lectures about the advantages of eating foods you hate?

Leaving aside that none of these buffoons went into full meltdown mode when Laura Bush launched her initiative (with the commies at HHS no less) to fight childhood obesity, just how the fuck did telling children to finish their vegetables and get off the couch and get some exercise become a bad thing? Well, of course, when Michelle Obama said it. If Michelle were to deliver a message to teenage girls that they shouldn’t have sex, would these people all of a sudden complain about how the White House is trying to take away the God-given right of teenagers to fuck?

221 Comments »

  1. Tommmcatt said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:20

    That woman has scary teeth. She looks all bite-y.

  2. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:21

    Do I still get credit if I just wipe my ass with Glenn Beck’s sweater?

  3. J— said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:23

    Wingnut welfare means you never have to go to the job fair.

  4. LD said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:26

    Would it be possible to arrange famous liberals to support good things, one after other, just to see how far the rightwing would go in saying it is not acceptable to tell kids to “respect their elderly”, or “eat healthy” or ” say no to drugs” or “avoid playing with dads guns”.

    How long, before the nutjobs scream that kids should use drugs, steal their parents guns and shoot the said parents if they say anything against the kids wishes?

  5. forked tongue said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:26

    The GOP needs to return to its core principles of low taxes, small government, concealed boobies (thanks Ben), and childhood obesity.

  6. Rusty Shackleford said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:29

    “I’m vehemently pro-life. Now excuse me while I eat this fried Snickers bar.”

  7. Not-So-Newbie McNymshift said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:30

    Obviously Michelle Obama’s encouraging kids to eat their veggies and exercise is not a duty of the First Spouse as specified by the Constitution.

    Therefore: Grounds for impeachment, bitches!!!

  8. Aaron said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:33

    I almost wish the Obamas would endorse some long-standing conservative wet dream just to watch the conservatives disavow it in the strongest possible terms. The problem is, I can’t think of any that aren’t so horrible to contemplate that I’d be comfortable with the President giving ‘em the thumbs-up.

    Although maybe a strong statement from the President that kids should “just say no!” to drugs would contain enough Ronaldus-Magnus-reverse-mojo to actually make their heads explode from having to loudly and passionately disavow St. Nancy’s advice to the kids, because Obama agrees with it.

  9. cyntax said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:37

    …just how the fuck did telling children to finish their vegetables and get off the couch and get some exercise become a bad thing?

    Round about the same way that telling kids to stay in school and study became indoctrination.

    Indoctrination, education? Same, same right?

  10. handy said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:38

    Five year olds throw tantrums when their parents make them eat their vegetables and all those other assorted nasty things that are good for them. So this article was just further evidence that wingnuts never mature past five.

  11. cyntax said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:40

    So this article was just further evidence that wingnuts never mature past five

    Well that sort of helps to contextualize their views about taxes: like eating vegetables for grown-ups. Or rather “grown-ups.”

  12. Edward R. Murrow said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:43

    Did Tintin kill all the other writers or something?

  13. handy said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:44

    handy said,
    October 27, 2009 at 19:38

    Five year olds throw tantrums when their parents make them eat their vegetables and all those other assorted nasty things that are good for them. So this article was just further evidence that wingnuts never mature past five.

    Rather pedestrian comment in that it’s just pointing out the obvious, but damn I just had to say it. Seriously these are five year olds scraping the bottom of the poutrage barrel.

  14. mark f said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:46

    Oh boy! I can’t wait til this shameless abuse of power is lampooned in this trenchant new comic.

  15. Iris said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:48

    I hate to be the bearer of bad news for the giggly Obots, but Fat Shaming was an important part of the The Usurper’s strategy against Hillary Rodham Clinton during the Stolen Primary; the almost daily making fun of True Blue Democrats of Appalachia went hand in hand with this. Here at Sadly, O! is nothing more than a Fat Shaming Extravaganza, complete with lookist musings from the spoiled Obot brats who whined and whined until they got their way in Denver. Wise up, Obots: Fat Womanist Pride is on the march in this country, and it’ll march right away from Obama’s Corrupt Party unless you respect the rights of people to to eat whatever they want. Michelle may not be proud of her country, but she is certainly prideful of her thinness, and seeks to shame fat children into exercising. What a joke.

  16. fardels bear said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:49

    So, just in the interest of accurate reportage and all, is there any youtube video of Michelle doing the hula hoop demonstration? Because the very thought gives me…. stirrings….. of a not entirely political nature.

  17. Eddie Crane said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:50

    Shut up, Iris.

  18. Brandi said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:51

    Iris: still incapable of putting out the proper pheremones to get Sadlynaughts to give her the deep dickings Twoofy seems to get just by existing.

    Maybe a Crisco/powdered Cheetos vaginal douche would help?

  19. Tommmcatt said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:52

    A poor copy, at best.

    “Pridefull of her thinness” does amuse, however.

    Fake Iris: D-

  20. FrankenBerry said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:53

    Clicking through to Jeannie’s “vehement” post, I found plastered in the middle of the text an ad for Jillian Michaels extolling the dangers of — wait for it — high-fructose corn syrup. Oy.

  21. DAS said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:53

    Imagine finding out you have the afternoon off and are going to the White House for a “fair.” When you get there you realize the festivities include Michelle doing a hula-hoop demonstration

    Michelle Obama is rather attractive. Speaking as a former boy myself, I imagine that I would be quite pleasantly surprised to find out that, instead of going to some humdrum fair, I got to see the current first lady writhing around in a hula-hoop.

  22. laym said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:53

    would these people all of a sudden complain about how the White House is trying to take away the God-given right of teenagers to fuck?

    I would really, really like to find out.

  23. Jacob Singer said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:54

    “Fat Womanist Pride is on the march in this country…”

    More like ‘on the waddle’.

  24. Tommmcatt said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:57

    Or “on the roll”.

  25. Ted the Slacker said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:57

    Yep, the content is standard wingnut hysteria, but fuck me, that is one epically spastic effort at an extended metaphor, complete with links to wiki so that we can all be sure what she means by “feeding tube”.

    What’s the saying, that the camera adds on 10 pounds? This article is proof the internets adds on 10 st00pids. At least.

  26. J Neo Marvin said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:57

    My Republican parents were adamant about making me eat my vegetables as a child, and even though I put up a fight at the time, I’m grateful they did.

    Yesterday’s Republicans = authoritarian parental units
    Today’s Republicans = bratty children posing as authoritarian parental units.

    How far we’ve come!

  27. Teh Troofus said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:59

    Iris: still incapable of putting out the proper pheremones to get Sadlynaughts to give her the deep dickings Twoofy seems to get just by existing.

    Shalom, gentlemen.

  28. DAS said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:00

    Today’s Republicans = bratty children posing as authoritarian parental units. – J Neo Marvin

    Indeed. When my daughter was 2-3, her style of reasoning pretty closely mirrored your standard GOoPer. Indeed, she would even smirk like the (then) POTUS.

    Fortunately, now that she is 4, she no longer thinks like a GOoPer.

  29. kg said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:01

    Did Tintin kill all the other writers or something?

    I think they’re all lazing their days away at S,N! west (aka French Riveria) while TinTin (aka Cinderella) mans the interducts.

  30. Cletus said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:01

    Iris, you had me at “Fat.”

  31. cyntax said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:09

    Wise up, Obots: Fat Womanist Pride is on the march in this country, and it’ll march right away from Obama’s Corrupt Party unless you respect the rights of people to to eat whatever they want.

    As far as parody trolling goes, I’m not even sure this warrants a “bookmark it.”

  32. Not-So-Newbie McNymshift said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:12

    Goddam Lieberman pisses me off. No snark, just a rant:

    http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/10/lieberman-sure-id-filibuster-a-health-care-reform-bill.php?ref=fpblg

  33. Marion in Savannah said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:14

    Lieberman is a festering pimple on the ass of America.

  34. No-Visible-Means said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:17

    Did Tintin kill all the other writers or something?

    Perhaps we should gather up a search party. I’ll bring the beer.

  35. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:17

    Cause I know there’s only one way to eat it,
    Just shove it in my face and hope for the best,
    And I know there could be a big prize in it,
    So make believe it’s worth it and count for the rest

  36. Joe said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:18

    If it were a regular fair she would write, “Imagine the shock when parents find out their children are being fed cotton candy and popcorn while on a school field trip.”

    on a side note: who the fuck calls cotton candy “pink cones of spun sugar”? Is that supposed to produce some profound imagery?

  37. J— said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:20

    Here’s the AP’s raw video from the Healthy Kids Fair.

    But for me, if the event doesn’t include the Zipper, it just isn’t a fair.

  38. Jennifer said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:20

    This seems a fitting post for a mention of Children of the Corndog.

  39. Djur said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:23

    Did Tintin kill all the other writers or something?

    They’re all busy breeding.

  40. eidos said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:24

    The GOP needs to return to its core principles of low taxes, small government, concealed boobies (thanks Ben), and childhood obesity.

    Ever had the misfortune of witnessing a College Republicans event?

  41. Fat Coach Urban Meyer said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:25

    Ba-doodle (catches breath) doo-yeah, silly slender libs! The Cool Ranch Doritos Coach is here to deliver a Creamy Spread of Truth from Jumpin’ Jeannie Deangelis! The Obummer and Mich-Smelle are sadly mistaken if they think kids are gonna wanna be served up a spread of Dumbocrat granola and Crapital Hill carrots!

    Chew on THAT, looney libs! Urban out.

  42. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:27

    She’s a GILFC!

    A grandmother I’d like to fuck with a chainsaw!

  43. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:28

    Fat Shaming

    Coincidentally, this was the lead singer for Iris and The Fucking Droids…

  44. AJ Green said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:28

    Cool Coach-

    You’re mine Saturday.

  45. Tommmcatt said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:29

    Gentle commenters, for parody trolling to work it must first and foremost work as trolling, just as other genre parody must first work as a good example of the thing parodied.

    Still, “Cool Ranch Doritos Coach” made me giggle.

  46. N.C. said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:33

    I just like the idea of an entire stable of Coaches Urban Meyer, each with their own personality quirk or favorite pet topic.

  47. g said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:34

    Excited Washington DC school children, disembarking from yellow school buses on the South Lawn of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue were in for a big shock!

    I’m sure that Washington DC school children in 2009 have deeply engrained impressions of merry-go-rounds, spun sugar, and popcorn whenever they hear the word “fair.”

    How many merry-go-rounds do you suppose DC school kids regularly visit?

    And more to the point, I’m sure that DC schoolkids, like schoolkids everywhere, figure out that school field trips are not going to be occasions to stuff themselves with sugary treats.

    Stupid wingnut imprinting her own 1950′s small-town memories on modern urban kids.

  48. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:36

    I just like the idea of an entire stable of Coaches Urban Meyer, each with their own personality quirk or favorite pet topic.

    *shudder*

    Sorry, I just had a flashback to the post-mortem Supermen…

  49. g said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:38

    who calls cotton candy “pink cones of spun sugar”?

    Someone whose last memory of it coincides with the last time Ringling did tent shows.

  50. Crissa said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:42

    Well, at least she is only trying to make kids unhealthy. She could be selling crap to fund bombs: http://www.kansascity.com/105/story/1527703.html

  51. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:43

    Things like, baked apples instead of double dunked caramel.

    QFT. bakeapples rulez.

    Oh, and another QFT for J—

    But for me, if the event doesn’t include the Zipper, it just isn’t a fair.

  52. Citizen_X said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:46

    Wise up, Obots: Fat Womanist Pride is on the march in this country

    Are you gonna take me home tonight

    Ah down beside that red firelight

    Are you gonna let it all hang out

    Fat womanist girls, you make the rocking world go round!

  53. Bitter Scribe, a vehemently pro-life, anti-liberal, Evangelical Judeo-Christian divorced man of the Baptist denomination, said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:47

    What struck me was the number of references to force-feeding. “Eeeek! The scary black man is trying to force something down my throat!”

  54. Smut Clyde said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:48

    I just like the idea of an entire stable of Coaches Urban Meyer
    Flashback to sumo wrestlers.

  55. Marion in Savannah said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:48

    Gotta give Iris a few points for originality. “Fat womanist pride” got 0, count it, 0 hits on Teh Great Gazoogle.

  56. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:51

    Fat Womanist Pride

    Sounds like a lesbian motorcycle gang.

  57. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:51

    What? Someone had to say it!

  58. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:51

    Obama doesn’t seem to have a problem with the torment people have to endure when Michelle shuts down traffic in Washington DC to shop for organic Tuscan kale.

    Nice spin. Here’s what that’s about.

  59. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:54

    I didn’t know DC had annexed Tuscany and moved it to Maryland.

  60. Malaclypse said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:55

    Wise up, Obots: Fat Womanist Pride is on the march in this country, and it’ll march right away from Obama’s Corrupt Party unless you respect the rights of people to to eat whatever they want.

    Fat Womanist Pride needs a Giant Sammich.

  61. Marion in Savannah said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:56

    Actor212, Dykes on Bikes might take issue with being called fat… I dont know about you, but I wouldn’t want them pissed off at me.

  62. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:58

    Aside for Dana Milbank – this American p00per article is the type of thing your column is getting quoted in – because DeAngelis likes your spin. Your courageous hate-on for the dirty fucking hippies has brought you into ideological conformity with someone who compares Democratic lawmakers to Al Qaeda.

  63. Cap'n Urban Meyarrrrrr said,

    October 27, 2009 at 20:58

    Ahoy, din’ dong dilly, loony libs, gar! Looks like you’re losin’ Big Time on the silly socialist healthcare issue, gar! The Obummer is goin’ downtown, big time, and the Cool Coach couldn’t be happier, gar! Maybe if you loony libs focused on national security rather than your communist fantasies, you wouldn’t end up losin’ t’ Super Sarah, the Power Palin, in 2012!

    Din’ dong dilly, gar! You just got ser’ed a Spread o’ truth, gar! Urban out.

  64. Ted the Slacker said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:00

    Fat WomanistChunky Reese Witherspoon Pride is on the march in this country

    FIQXTED.

  65. Rusty Shackleford said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:02

    You know who else liked vegetables.

  66. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:05

    Sounds like a lesbian motorcycle gang

    Just to clarify, is it this a gang of lesbians who ride motorcycles, or a gang of people who ride lesbian motorcycles?

  67. g said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:05

    Obama doesn’t seem to have a problem with the torment people have to endure when Michelle shuts down traffic in Washington DC to shop for organic Tuscan kale.

    yes, the nerve of those people. Why can’t the First Lady of the United States just take a city bus to go grocery shopping? or stay cooped up in the house, to avoid spending taxpayer’s money on frivolous “security” details. Hmmph. Ostentatious and elitist, for the First Lady to be acting like all previous First Ladies.

  68. g said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:06

    “gar?”

    Is it “talk like a Pirate” day?

  69. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:07

    Dykes on Bikes might take issue with being called fat

    I was trying to keep it generic, Marion.

    But since YOU brought it up…. ;-)

    Just to clarify, is it this a gang of lesbians who ride motorcycles, or a gang of people who ride lesbian motorcycles?

    Where DOES he get all these wonderful toys?

  70. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:09

    You know who else liked vegetables.

    Finally! An excuse to post The Arugula Rag….

  71. Parrotlover77 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:09

    Alright. I have seen this several times before in comments but seemed to have missed all the great original internet traditions that spawned it. What’s the deal with the Urban Meyers?

  72. zeppo said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:10

    I wonder if Eleanor Roosevelt ever did the hula hoop?

    I bet she ate her veggies.

  73. Rusty Shackleford said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:10

    What’s the deal with the Urban Meyers?

    They’re just like Seth Meyers, except black.

  74. Coach George "Urban Meyer" Will said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:10

    A sardonic hello to you, persons of a Liberal persuasion! Now that the independent senator from Connecticut has hitched his wagon to the strong plow-horse that is filibuster, I must say all bets on the he horse-race of health care reform are off! It must dismay you, quite, and bodes ill for Democratic chances in 2010.

    I rebuff you with a brisque, sarcastic zinger, as is my wont. This is what some might call “A spread of truth”, indeed. Coach George “Urban Meyer” Will signing off!

  75. Irion said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:10

    I’m really surprised that she didn’t complain about how much this was costing the tax-payers! I mean seriously, fresh veggies have to be way more expensive than high-fructose corn syrup!

    BTW:

    DAS said,

    October 27, 2009 at 19:53

    Imagine finding out you have the afternoon off and are going to the White House for a “fair.” When you get there you realize the festivities include Michelle doing a hula-hoop demonstration

    Michelle Obama is rather attractive. Speaking as a former boy myself, I imagine that I would be quite pleasantly surprised to find out that, instead of going to some humdrum fair, I got to see the current first lady writhing around in a hula-hoop.

    Total Win!

  76. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:10

    Coach Urban Meyer (C. U. M….get it?) is a faux troll who is impersonating the football coach of UFlorida (If I got that wrong, don’t hate me. I don’t watch the Great American Game of Gay Tag)

    Search Sadly, No! for many examples.

  77. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:12

    I wonder if Eleanor Roosevelt ever did the hula hoop?

    Only when the Phase 1 bar was closed…

  78. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:15

    Where DOES he get all these wonderful toys?

    Doesn’t everybody have a GoogleAlert for “lesbian motorcycle”?

  79. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:15

    Lieberman is a damp cilia on the corrupt membrane of a damp bacteria on the greasy hair of a festering pimple on the infected hemorrhoid of the dingleberry-speckled ass of America.

    It’s all in the details.

  80. Parrotlover77 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:18

    Being one mighty big fan of both college and professional american gay tag, and UF being my alma mater, I am quite familiar with non-troll Coach Meyer and his Kryptonian Christian Fundie quarterback adopted son. I just didn’t get the trolls. I thought I must have missed something stupid that Urban said that spawned this (coaches have a long tradition of public stupidity). But nope. It’s just SN memetic randomness, I see.

  81. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:18

    Now now, Lieberman’s being a gentleman! He’s making the Democrats court Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins, rather than just using them as one-night stands…

  82. Dragon-Coach Urban WangMeyer said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:19

    Ba-doodle-bing-whoop-de-doo, and I mean that in the most heterosexual way possible. PENIS.

    You just got served with a SPREAD of PENIS. Also PENIS. Too.

    WangMeyer out (and I mean that in a totes heterosexual fashion).

  83. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:20

    P77,

    I assumed it had to do with his spread offense, but that’s just my opinion.

    Spread offense…yea, football’s not at ALL closeted, no sirree!!!

  84. Steerpike said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:21

    If Michelle Obama had provided cotton candy, pop, corn dogs and hot pretzels, noted author Jeannie Dentures would have posted the other article she had written. Which one to publish just depended on the menu at the event:

    The last thing these children needed was more sweet, fatty junk food! How irresponsible of the First Lady to provide nothing but empty calories for impressionable children. She could have taken the opportunity to set an example by serving nice crisp vegetables instead of some sugary cake! And wouldn’t it have been nice if she had shown the kids how much fun it can be to exercise and stay in shape. She could have demonstrated something the kids would actually enjoy, like, oh, I don’t know, maybe a Hula-Hoop demonstration or something. This administration should be ashamed!

  85. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:22

    Gay marriage? No way Jose!

    Spread offense? Gimme more! more! MORE!

  86. Parrotlover77 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:25

    Oh, ho ho! Don’t your forget, actor212! It’s a Spread Option Offense he’s famous for! If you don’t like the look of getting tackled by the two large linemen headed your way, you can pitch to somebody else to take the pounding for you. Yep. It truly is the best offense.

  87. Bitter Scribe, a vehemently pro-life, anti-liberal, Evangelical Judeo-Christian divorced man of the Baptist denomination, said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:25

    If these assholes have to pick on a football coach for their nom de blog, why can’t they choose Vince Lombardi, Bear Bryant or someone else who’s decently dead?

    BTW, I wonder what the real Urban Meyer would think about all this.

  88. Marion in Savannah said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:27

    Actor212, you’ve reminded me of Tom Lehrer’s song Smut:

    (bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties,
    Samplers, stained-glass windows, tattoos, anything!
    More, more, Im still not satisfied!)

  89. Parrotlover77 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:27

    If these assholes have to pick on a football coach for their nom de blog, why can’t they choose Vince Lombardi, Bear Bryant or someone else who’s decently dead?

    John Madden? Oh wait. He’s not dead, just brain-dead.

  90. g said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:29

    I love how the wingnut’s outrage is tinged with anachronism that makes it obvious that it’s completely manufactured, and filtered through their own sensiblities.

    Remember when Michelle Obama visited a homeless shelter, and there were photos of shelter residents taking pictures of her with their cell-phones?

    The rightwing went into spasms of outrage over that. How dare the homeless have “luxuries” like cell phones! – they stormed – hearkening back to the day (oh, like about 1990) when everyone had a land-line and a cell-phone was a badge of wealth and status.

    Duh, folks – cell phones are cheap today, especially a pre-paid one, and homeless people need them to…..find work.

    So now we’re assuming that modern urban kids have 1950′s small town carnival assumptions about a word like “Fair” – which is more likely in their world to be a Book Fair, a College Fair, a Job Fair – and we’re outraged, outraged that the Obamas would be so callous as to dash the kiddies’ little hopes of (presumably) carny booths and sideshows.

    What’s next? Shall we decry re-dressing Tinkerbell in leggings instead of a strapless cocktail dress and marabou-trimmed high-heeled mules?

    How come those young people are singing about “gangsters” and they aren’t wearing pin-striped suits and fedoras?

    Why don’t those Somalian pirates have parrots on their shoulders?

  91. Steerpike said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:30

    I’m havig a hard time picturing Tom Landry saying “Badoodle-boo-yah”. In fact, I’m having trouble picturing any heterosexual man over the age of 8 saying that.

  92. JadedOptimist said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:31

    @ mark f –

    I can’t decide what’s more pathetic: That it took two people to create that lame cartoon, or that the commenters pretty much all thought it was brilliant.

    How fortunate that sites like Big Hollywood exist so that such insightful satire can be shared with us all. Clearly the only reason the creators of the comic don’t have major media contracts is liberal bias. I, for one, would eagerly tune in to a weekly series based on themes like this. Also.

  93. Teh Ken Burns, Sadly, No! Troll Documentarian said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:33

    For the origin of Coach Urban Meyer, this is widely considered the first time CUM started his schtick. (Before then, he was just a copypasta troll ripping stuff off from American Thinker.)

  94. Felcher4hire said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:35

    Ah, the incoherent ramblings of a cranky old bitty in diabetic shock…

    Turns a young man’s fancy to suicide

  95. Felcher4hire said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:38

    Oh, and one more thing:

    I DEMAND that the Obama’s make a statement exhorting teenagers to avoid sex. Freepers are such easy targets. You know they would totally take the bait.

    Hm, maybe an Onion article which will be accepted as fact?

  96. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:39

    Don’t your forget, actor212! It’s a Spread Option Offense he’s famous for!

    OK, so he’s bi-curious! My apologies…

  97. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:40

    I’m having trouble picturing any heterosexual man over the age of 8 saying that.

    I dunno, I could see Emeril hauling that out, but then again I don’t know which team he bats for.

  98. Smut Clyde said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:41

    Why don’t those Somalian pirates have parrots on their shoulders?

    In my next children’s book, all about piracy around the New Zealand coastline, one of the plot elements will be the captain’s problems with keeping his crew in the proper state of intimidated respect when his hair is spiked every which way by kakapo spooge.

  99. Steerpike said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:42

    Next week on a very special episode of West Wingnuts: President Bartlett delivers a message to the nation, discouraging Americans from eating crushed light bulbs, juggling flaming chainsaws, embedding rusty razor blades in cakes of soap, using their penises to check to see if their electric pencil sharpeners are working, and running with scissors. Hilarity ensues.

  100. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:44

    embedding rusty razor blades in cakes of soap

    You mean, the wingnuts would cut themselves trying to put the razor blades in there?

    Can’t see how it would harm them much, otherwise.

  101. OneMan said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:47

    “…kakapo spooge.”

    I can’t help but notice your…fixation…on these birds. Do you have something you’d like to get off your chest? How about your head?

    I think therapy is in order. I’d suggest art therapy but in your case, perhaps not.

  102. Schuyler T. Colfax said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:47

    Speaking as long-time reader (long enough to remember when HTML was Retardo, and when Retardo posted regularly) I have to say that Coach Urban Meyer is my favorite troll, parody or otherwise, of all time, and this joint has had some doozies. He’s lovably irritating like your corny uncle and he’s not mean-spirited. Shine on, you batshit crazy diamond.

  103. Jeopardude said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:48

    Best comment on the trenchant new comic

    “*sigh*

    Okay, I’ll say it. To me, it was lame. Eight months ago, maybe, but nowadays I’ve seen Jimmy Kimmel do edgier stuff.

    This is the sort of “hard biting satire” I’d like to see:

    Barry: (ranting) Why do those conservatives keep criticizing MY agenda? What do they think I want to do, sacrifice babies?

    Michelle: Don’t worry about them, we’ll crush them all soon. Hey, what are you working on here?

    Barry: Oh, I got to get Harry and Nancy straightened out on their bills, again, make sure we’re not really not funding abortion. We’ll need all those women’s libber votes next year.

    You know, something like that.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ed-jee!

  104. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:53

    his hair is spiked every which way by kakapo spooge

    I never get invited to the cool sorties…

  105. Ben Richards said,

    October 27, 2009 at 21:58

    Actor12 – what’s funny is how Urban Meyer became the handle for someone who talks like this. He talks nothing like this…

    It actually sounds like Stuart Scott the ESPN anchor

  106. Rusty Shackleford said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:10

    He talks nothing like this…

    He actually knows only one phrase: “Tebow up the middle.”

  107. mark f said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:13

    Jeopardude:

    I think it’s a tie between that comment and the one that says something like “we paid for this black moron to go to college and they call us racists.”

    I’m waiting for page 2, but maybe they overplayed their hand. After jamming narcissism, obeisance to the harpee first lady, and the Thomas painting into the first frame, the authors (!) seem to have run out of “jokes.”

  108. laym said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:15

    SN memetic randomness

    Yes, that.

  109. PeeJ said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:20

    I couldn’t say if it came from a luge
    But I just had a dose of kakapo spooge

    It stuck right to me, and look here, stooge,
    I got a forty dollar bill for more of that ….

  110. Tootle said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:28

    Movement conservatism’s most lasting achievement is the mainstreaming of the insane.

  111. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:29

    OMFG HOUSE REPUBES INTRODUCE RESOLUTION TO HONOR TEABAGGERS.

    I am enjoying their quick descent into complete and utter fucking irrelevance.

  112. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:32

    Posted at The Hill, altho they moderate…:

    There’s a GREAT idea! Lemme see…Congressmen make about $100K a year or about a thousand dollars each day they actually work in session, so we’re about to waste $435,000 of MY tax money honoring the Tea Baggers for their sordid sexual practices???

    LOL! Too funny…

  113. a concerned citizen said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:35

    BTW, I wonder what the real Urban Meyer would think about all this.

    He seems like a really smart and responsible guy. He’d probably think we’re a bunch of immature jackasses.

    Oh, and while we’re on the subject, a laffer from an essay on football in Chuck Klosterman’s new book I just read:

    Two modern coaches (Steve Spurrier and Urban Meyer) have both found success at the talent-rich University of Florida, seemingly by never running the same play twice.

    Maybe he says “Tebow left” or “Tebow up the middle” in a different accent every time? Or throws in random “badoodle-doo”s? “Tebow left, badoodle doo yeah” is a different play from “Tebow left, badoodle doo, cool coach out”.

  114. PeeJ said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:38

    Actor, congreffcritters are paid more like 175K (rank and file members).

  115. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:38

    I’m embarrassed to think how many times since the right-wing coup of November 1980, the phrase “More rope to hang themselves” has crossed my lips.

    Is it possible? Have we finally given them enough rope? Too bad we all “Hung together” in the process.

  116. actor212 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:39

    Meh. I had to dumb down the post so that the Republicans posting in agreemnt with the proclamation could do the math.

  117. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:39

    Have we finally given them enough rope?

    You oughtta see how dry our powder is, too!

  118. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:42

    They may not have enough rope yet, but if they keep eating Big Macs and cones of pink sugar at such epic proportions, they’ll all be dead by 2020 anyway, especially if their efforts to kill health care reform are actually successful.

  119. Rusty Shackleford said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:43

    Is there any other kind of powder than dry? Wet powder would be mud, or perhaps paste.

  120. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:48

    Actor, you spelled “too” correctly. I’m not sure they’ll understand.

  121. laym said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:50

    Have we finally given them enough rope?

    There is a special election coming up in upstate NY. There is a GOP candidate running, and a Conservative Party candidate running. The national conservative would-be power-brokers are lining up to support the Conservative over the Repub.

    In other words, they are having a purity battle up in the “red” parts of NY, and the likely result is that the Dem candidate is going to win.

    That is how it will go down in 2010, blarts.

  122. Vacuumslayer said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:51

    Well cons are bad at everything including cooking and eating so this does not surprise me. I laughed when they staged their moronic buycott at Whole Foods. Stupid fuckers would be LOST in there.

  123. Parrotlover77 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:58

    Oh, and while we’re on the subject, a laffer from an essay on football in Chuck Klosterman’s new book I just read:

    Two modern coaches (Steve Spurrier and Urban Meyer) have both found success at the talent-rich University of Florida, seemingly by never running the same play twice.

    Maybe he says “Tebow left” or “Tebow up the middle” in a different accent every time? Or throws in random “badoodle-doo”s? “Tebow left, badoodle doo yeah” is a different play from “Tebow left, badoodle doo, cool coach out”.

    What team has that guy been watching the past twenty years? I’m a huge Florida fan and although I think the talent always has run deep, the play calling has not ever run very deep. That’s part of the reason I think they are successful. Do one thing. Do it well.

  124. Parrotlover77 said,

    October 27, 2009 at 22:59

    AGH the nested blockquotes foil me again! I’m having a bad day.

  125. Steerpike said,

    October 27, 2009 at 23:01

    That is how it will go down in 2010, blarts

    My prediction for 2012: Sarah Palin will get knocked out in the primaries, once they get past South Carolina, but with enough delegates to cause a ruckus at the convention. In the end, the GOP will nominate either Newt Gingrich or Mitt Romney (or possibly a ticket with both of them). Disgusted, Palin runs as an independent, third-party candidate (They’ll undoubtedly call it the “Tea” Party), maybe with Huckaby as a running mate. Wildly popular with her base, Sarah peels off enough of the Republican base to ensure that party’s defeat, possibly even to relegate it to 3rd place in the popular vote. Obama, in the meantime will cruise to a victory so lopsided, it will make Reagan v. Mondale look like a squeaker. Then the great Conservative Freakout will begin.

    You will wonder how I was able to call this.

  126. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    October 27, 2009 at 23:15

    I laughed when they staged their moronic buycott at Whole Foods. Stupid fuckers would be LOST in there.

    I would LOL to go in and see the Morans guy wandering around the patchoulli-stinkin’ aisles of a Whole Foods. It might be happening here, but I haven’t been in WF since well before their CEO’s making such an ass of himself on account of being too broke to pay their prices and all.

    But I agree that buycott is right up there with their boycott of French products for belly larffs.

  127. tigrismus said,

    October 27, 2009 at 23:17

    Did Tintin kill all the other writers or something?

    Deep-fried and eaten off a stick.

    The word “fair” conjures up images of merry-go-rounds, fluffy, pink cones of spun sugar, candy apples and popcorn….

    Science fairs, book fairs, health fairs, etc. = WHERE’S THE MOONWALK, MOFO?!!

    Imagine finding out you have the afternoon off and are going to the White House for a “fair.” When you get there you realize the festivities include Michelle doing a hula-hoop demonstration

    Fairs also often include games with hoops.

  128. Doctor Urban Meirschultz said,

    October 27, 2009 at 23:21

    just how the fuck did telling children to finish their vegetables and get off the couch and get some exercise become a bad thing?

    Yeah, like when Nancy Reagan asked a grade school auditorium fulla kids “what do you say when someone offers you drugs?” and everyone shouts “NO!” except for the couple smart asses in the back row who shout “THANKS, MISTER!” and have to stay after school and clean the erasers.

  129. Vacuumslayer said,

    October 27, 2009 at 23:22

    [ Then the great Conservative Freakout will begin.]

    Begin?

  130. MarkusR said,

    October 27, 2009 at 23:23

    Fuck!

    One word to sum it all up.

  131. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    October 27, 2009 at 23:25

    Steerpike: I’ve been telling myself not to get my hopes up like that, but it’s hard not to. McCain lost 53/45. Give everybody four years to realize that a black man was elected prsident and the Nat Turner Rebellion didn’t repeat itself on a national scale, and I think you can add 5 points to that spread, all things being equal.

    But all things aren’t equal. The nutbags just couldn’t keep it in their pants. If they’d waited with some quiet dignity till Obama made a mistake or twelve (and he will) they might have recovered and had a chance—in 2016 if not 2012.

    Now that they’ve shown everybody what loons they are, and with the possibility of a really nasty primary season, if not a split party, they may put themselves in Roosevelt/Landon territory—assuming Alf Landon was two guys, from two parties, who spent the whole campaign slanging each other…on second thought, maybe 61/39 is too optimistic for them. For the first time, I’m really looking forward to the next election; and I’ve spent many a campaign season going: “I don’t care who wins, just please, get it over with!”

  132. Vacuumslayer said,

    October 27, 2009 at 23:26

    “Xecky Gilchrist said,
    October 27, 2009 at 23:15

    But I agree that buycott is right up there with their boycott of French products for belly larffs.

    They can take our lives —-but they can never take our FREEDOM FRIES!!!!!!!

  133. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    October 27, 2009 at 23:31

    they can never take our FREEDOM FRIES!!!!!!!

    Oh, man.

    I was thinking more about how they resolved not to buy any fancy wine or cheese or pâté de foie gras. I had somehow managed to block out “Freedom Fries.”

    Funny – the whole Freedom Fries episode – where it was introduced in the House as an actual ostensibly productive use of Reps’ time – was one of those moments when I felt in my guts how far through the looking glass we’d gone in the Bush years. Shudder.

  134. M. Bouffant said,

    October 27, 2009 at 23:38

    The reactionary wing-nut mind, so authoritarian, so willing to follow orders, seems to unable to distinguish between common-sense gov’t. agency suggestions, based on, like, research & stuff, & the immediate imposition of dietary laws & mandatory exercise programs.

    This inability to differentiate between suggestion & “shoved down our throats” is the only basis I can figure for the non-stop “Obama’s gonna do something” paranoia that infects them.

    Still, it must be incredibly satisfying for a former writer of crank letters to the editor to see virtually everything she spews in actual electron-print, rather than the pre-Internet days, when 99% of her output must have ended up in the recycling bin at the local fish-wrapper.

  135. g said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:01

    My prediction for 2012:

    I don’t know who they’re going to come up with but for a fact the primaries are going to be fun to watch.

    The fact that Bill Kristol is now saying that the “center of gravity” of the Republican Party is Huckabee, Palin, Gingrich, Beck and Limbaugh is pretty telling.

    for one thing, neither Beck nor Limbaugh will ever serve in government office. They can’t afford to take the pay cut, for one. And, I also suspect, they haven’t got it in them endurance-wise to run a campaign.

    So what that really means is Palin, Huck and Newtie. That’s all the bench they have?

    An unstable quitter.

    A guy who doesn’t believe in evolution

    A has-been. And I suspect there’s some junk in his closet, too.

    Palin doesn’t have the stamina, let alone the track record. Plus, even though the base may love her, the party establishment doesn’t – she’s made enemies of people who matter, and if she runs against establishment types (I’m looking at you, Newtie) with her special brand of nastiness, she’s going to make more enemies. More importantly, she hasn’t made alliances.

    Hucky – He’s probably the most qualified of the three, but too nutty to gain the center.

    Newt – sorry. He jumped the shark about the time he whined about having to sit in the back of Clinton’s plane.

  136. Stag Party Palin said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:07

    I almost wish the Obamas would endorse some long-standing conservative wet dream just to watch the conservatives disavow it in the strongest possible terms.

    The first part has already happened, what with Obama continuing and even amping up the Bush policies on civil liberties, e.g. FISA. That’s why when I see teabaggers with the “Don’t destroy our Consitution, Obama” signs, I get a little dizzy – I could carry that sign.

    In Teabag-World®, ‘consistency’ is not in the dictionary. If they actually agree with Obama, they just forget the whole issue.

  137. eidos said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:07

    My prediction for 2012: Sarah Palin will get knocked out in the primaries, …

    And she will finally realize her dream of giving a national concession speech.

  138. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:17

    That woman has scary teeth. She looks all bite-y.

    Disguise yourself as a broccoli floret, and you’ll be safe.

    I may be alone in this, but I would much rather eat a nice helping of organic Tuscan kale, parboiled and sauteed in olive oil, with plenty of garlic and crushed red pepper than a damn piece of cake or some cotton candy.

    These people just aren’t right in the head.

  139. Snarla said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:19

    Remember when Michelle Obama visited a homeless shelter, and there were photos of shelter residents taking pictures of her with their cell-phones?

    The rightwing went into spasms of outrage over that. How dare the homeless have “luxuries” like cell phones! – they stormed – hearkening back to the day (oh, like about 1990) when everyone had a land-line and a cell-phone was a badge of wealth and status.

    Cell phone outrage is baaaaaaaack.
    http://myrightwingdad.blogspot.com/2009/10/fw-free-obama-cell-phone-for-welfare.html

  140. g said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:34

    right on cue.

  141. OneMan said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:34

    “So what that really means is Palin, Huck and Newtie. That’s all the bench they have?”

    Nah. That’s what they have now. Somebody will come out of the woodwork before 2012; either Jindal will overcome his awful speech after the Obama not-the-SOTU or some other governor will come to the fore.

    Ain’t no way anyone from that batch of losers will head the ticket.

    Bookmark it libs! You’ll wonder how I was able to call it.

  142. Tommmcatt said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:41

    Somebody will come out of the woodwork before 2012….

    Mr. Norris Goes to Washington?

  143. g said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:42

    Cell phone outrage is baaaaaaaack.

    I always wonder how they expect homeless people to get jobs without some kind of communication method.

    Maybe they expect them to look for work in the classified newspaper ads and then write letters, and look for a response by mail.

  144. kg said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:45

    All correspondence to :

    Anton
    Cardboard box #3
    Shanty town usa.

  145. Tommmcatt said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:48

    They’ve always thought that the poor and homeless should just curl up and die. It’s only recently that they’ve thought it was ok to say that out loud, though.

  146. kg said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:50

    I have to admit, the “just get a job, you lazy” response to the unemployed, indigent, homeless, mentally ill (take your pick) has always evoked particular rancor. As if said waif would then palmslap forehead, proclaiming “OMG, wtf was I thinking? you’re so totally right!”

  147. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:51

    My prediction for 2012: Sarah Palin will get knocked out in the primaries, once they get past South Carolina, but with enough delegates to cause a ruckus at the convention. In the end, the GOP will nominate either Newt Gingrich or Mitt Romney (or possibly a ticket with both of them). Disgusted, Palin runs as an independent, third-party candidate (They’ll undoubtedly call it the “Tea” Party), maybe with Huckaby as a running mate.

    There’s a twisted part of me that hopes that the teabagger base will all insist on bringing guns to the GOP convention.

    WOLVERINES!!!! indeed.

  148. g said,

    October 28, 2009 at 0:54

    Somebody will come out of the woodwork before 2012

    No, I think they’ve got at least one more cycle in the wilderness. There’ll be a contest between several of the old guard. Mittster will try again, of course. Giuliani will probably make a short-lived run at it.

    The only new blood they have will be someone that appeals to Teh Crazee Base, and since they already have lots of that, they’ll just tear each other up.

  149. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:00

    No, I think they’ve got at least one more cycle in the wilderness.

    If decent health care passes I agree. Without that, and with what seems likely to be a still-sucky economy, the Republicans can take the White House.

  150. Sockpuppet #47 said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:09

    I cant see newt being the sacrificial lamb for 2012. He has always kept himself in the background, and I’m fairly sure he is smart enough to know that he cant win.

    My money would be on Mitt. I mean, why did they choose Mcain? Because he looked like the safe option. After that fucking disaster, does Mitt look so crazy just because he is a mormon?

    Palin doesnt have the cash for a third party run. Of course, she might have a quixotic run just TO raise money, with no hope of winning, but some hope of stealing campaign contributions.

    Mitt/Huck looks like the logical choice. Huck could offset the mormon problem, and do his country boy act, whilst Mitt pretends he knows things about business and the economy, and stands around in a suit.

    Thing is.. All of the above are fucking LOSERS, and everyone knows it. When you don’t have a hope in hell of winning, you don’t waste a good candidate. You nominate someone who looks respectable enough, and concentrate on getting some new blood for 2016, someone untainted by past failures.

    The trouble is.. they don’t really have any rising stars in the GOP. Jindal and Palin are already laughingstocks, and they don’t have anyone else!

  151. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:11

    The only question you have to ask about who the Republican nominee will be is “whose turn is it among the Establishment boys?”

    Maybe this time will be different, with such roiling weirdness going on, but I doubt it. Then again, who IS the establishment pick this time?

  152. Looch said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:12

    They’ve always thought that the poor and homeless should just curl up and die. It’s only recently that they’ve thought it was ok to say that out loud, though.

    I dunno. Back in the early 1990s there was a lot of that sentiment openly expressed in San Francisco as the homeless population exploded (Just possibly because a great deal of the city’s low-income housing stock had been leveled for a convention center and parking lots…ya think?). Back then, having a shopping cart was seen as being a welfare queen (or king).

    Bashing the homeless? Now that’s classic rock.

  153. g said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:13

    The amazing thing is, I remember when Bush suddenly appeared on the scene. I actually remember thinking, ‘Well, maybe he won’t be so bad,” figuring the ol’ “compassionate conservative” thing. But of course he was pretty much a suit empty of anything other than Freudian father issues, for Rove and Cheney to manipulate.

  154. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:25

    I actually remember thinking, ‘Well, maybe he won’t be so bad,”

    I will confess the same, but for a much stupider reason – I figured Bush would be an empty suit but that he really did have OK people around him. For some reason, back then, I thought of Cheney as not-bad.

  155. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:25

    I actually remember thinking, ‘Well, maybe he won’t be so bad,” figuring the ol’ “compassionate conservative” thing.

    I thought he was obviously dumb but couldn’t make a lot of trouble. Not a great prediction at all.

  156. Slappy the Wingnut said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:25

    Roll ‘em in dough and aim for the wet spot.

  157. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:26

    Mitt/Huck looks like the logical choice. Huck could offset the mormon problem, and do his country boy act, whilst Mitt pretends he knows things about business and the economy, and stands around in a suit.

    I think Beck will neutralize the “Mormon problem” for the ‘baggin’ base. Much like Pope Ratzi thinks that anti-gay bigotry will trump conservative Anglican anti-Catholic bigotry, I think the conservative ‘baggery will trump Baptist bigotry.

  158. Sockpuppet #47 said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:28

    Oh, you know what? Could be some lovely in fighting if Beck backs Mitt, and rush backs a different horse.

  159. Anonymous said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:30

    who IS the establishment pick this time?

    My money is still on the Huckleberry & the Newtster. I disagree about the certainty (in their minds) of losing. I think Gingrich sees himself as the great, shining white hope. He has kept himself in the background, yes–during the whole Bush administration–so that he can emerge from the disaster of those years. He hearkens back to the glory days of the Contract with America, before all the signatories thereto succumbed to scandal and corruption.

    The only thing he has to do is wait, and hope, and work to bring about, a massive, humiliating failure from Obama.

  160. Gewt Ningrich said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:32

    They don’t tell, they don’t swell, and they’re grateful as hell.

  161. Steerpike said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:34

    “anonymous” above is me–nym fail

    Also, close-italics fail. Just pretend everything after the word “white” above is regular text.

    Also, FYWP, also.

  162. Steerpike said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:37

    Palin doesnt have the cash for a third party run. Of course, she might have a quixotic run

    Again, I must quibble. I think ol’ Sarah-Pac could raise a buttload of cash between now and ’12.

  163. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:39

    I think the conservative ‘baggery will trump Baptist bigotry.

    Maybe, but I bet a lot of Fundies will think that a Mitt / Huck ticket would see it as Huck selling out to the Deevil. It’s OK for Beck to be a Mormon because he’s just standing there screeching talking points, he’s not in any real position of authority. I mean, a lot of racist Pubbies are happy enough to have people like Steele and Sowell spout right-wing garble, but wouldn’t put one of ‘em in office.

  164. g said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:39

    I think Gingrich sees himself as the great, shining white hope. He has kept himself in the background, yes–during the whole Bush administration–so that he can emerge from the disaster of those years.

    I think you’re right about how he sees himself. I don’t think that means the rest of the country sees him that way.

  165. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:40

    Wow, that was garbly. I think it makes enough sense, though.

  166. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:41

    Wow, that was garbly.

    My own comment, that is.

  167. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:42

    Outrage!

    http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/bighollywood/2009/10/27/larry-davids-piss-christ/

  168. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:45

    I think you’re right about how he sees himself. I don’t think that means the rest of the country sees him that way.

    I agree. Unless he makes huge strides in the next couple of years and works really hard to lay the groundwork for the race, I really don’t see him getting very far in 2012, unless it’s as a sacrificial lamb masquerading as a legitimate candidate for the repubs.

  169. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:46

    Outrage!

    That’s a pretty good little wingnugget – hoary old liberal offense dusted off, boycott announced, assertion that Muzzies would get special treatement by the librul meeja stablishmunt.

    However, when I read that it had to do with paintings, pee, and Christians, I immediately thought of Thomas Kinkade.

  170. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:47

    Hee, re: Thomas Kincade.

    This was a nice little comment:
    “It doesn’t make Mel Gibson look anywhere near as bad, now does it? David is, of course, jewish- and all this will do is fan the flames of anti-jewish sentiment.”

    Also, the Jews killed Jesus, so Hitler really wasn’t all that bad of a guy, really.

  171. g said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:49

    What? He’s complaining that Larry David’s behavior offends people??

    I’m shocked.

  172. tigrismus said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:50

    Outrage!

    http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/bighollywood/2009/10/27/larry-davids-piss-christ/

    “Treating religious symbols that way is cowardly and repulsive! So do it to a Koran next time!”

  173. eidos said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:51

    But of course he was pretty much a suit empty of anything other than Freudian father issues, for Rove and Cheney to manipulate.

    That s really all you need to know to understand the Bush presidency.

  174. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:54

    So do it to a Koran next time!

    Heh. Maybe we should get PZ Myers to soak a communion wafer in pee. And say “this is my whiz of the covenant.”

  175. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:58

    David is, of course, jewish- and all this will do is fan the flames of anti-jewish sentiment.

    So much for the “woo the Jew” campaign the righties keep talking about.

    “Treating religious symbols that way is cowardly and repulsive! So do it to a Koran next time!”

    Pee Zed refers to this as “fatwah envy”.

  176. Bitter Scribe, a vehemently pro-life, anti-liberal, Evangelical Judeo-Christian divorced man of the Baptist denomination, said,

    October 28, 2009 at 1:58

    Oh, you know what? Could be some lovely in fighting if Beck backs Mitt, and rush backs a different horse.

    Do these guys ever really get behind a particular candidate? I mean during the primary season, when there isn’t an obvious winner yet?

  177. g said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:06

    Seriously, do they really think that something offensive from Curb Your Enthusiasm is going to enflame people?

    For one thing, how would you narrow it down to choose what to be offended by? Have they seen the show?

  178. Andrew N.P. said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:06

    From Breitbart:

    Can you imagine the shit storm that would follow if David pissed on a painting of the prophet Muhammad?

    But, uh, they don’t even make paintings of Muhammad. Not these days, anyway. And if Larry David peed on a 15th century manuscript illustration of the guy, he’d have a lot more than a few religious nuts to worry about.

    Then again, Larry David being hunted down by an angry mob of art historians might make for a pretty good episode.

  179. eidos said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:06

    Again, I must quibble. I think ol’ Sarah-Pac could raise a buttload of cash between now and ‘12

    It’s possible. After all, she is poised to reemerge on the world stage by giving the commencement speech at the College of the Ozarks.

  180. Tommmcatt said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:19

    …raise a buttload of cash between now and ‘12

    I have to admit, that phrase has always confused me. Wouldn’t a “buttload” of something by necessity be very, um, small? I know if it were my butt it would have to be….

  181. actor212 said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:22

    Why I’m looking forward to a Palin candidacy

  182. g said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:25

    Yeah, you know what would go far to advancing Palin’s popularity? John Ziegler’s continued passionate support of her.

    Just curious – have they broken up yet? Has she ditched him?

  183. actor212 said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:26

    Wouldn’t a “buttload” of something by necessity be very, um, small?

    Does this cash make my butt look big?

  184. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:31

    Then again, Larry David being hunted down by an angry mob of art historians might make for a pretty good episode.

    I think the key to surviving wingnuts is to have the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme playing in your head whenever they open their mouth to speak.

    It’s a worthy successor to Yakity Sax, at least.

  185. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:32

    Why I’m looking forward to a Palin candidacy

    Going Rogue indeed!

  186. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:34

    I think the key to surviving wingnuts is to have the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme playing in your head whenever they open their mouth to speak.

    I always think of the Benny Hill theme song.

  187. tigrismus said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:44

    Pee Zed refers to this as “fatwah envy”.

    I wish he’d called it “poenis envy”.

  188. Honus said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:47

    They’re bitching about cell phones? Remember when Newt wanted to give laptops to the poor?

  189. Arky said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:47

    If Michelle were to deliver a message to teenage girls that they shouldn’t have sex, would these people all of a sudden complain about how the White House is trying to take away the God-given right of teenagers to fuck?

    Of course not; don’t be ridiculous.

    Half of them would head for the fainting couches because Mrs. Obama dared to mention the s-word to children. (Remember, Obama wants to teach sex ed to kindergartners!)

    The other half would call her a hypocrite because Malia and Sasha are clearly total sluts.

    But hey, if the fucknuts want to stay indoors and eat salami* all day, let ‘em.

    *V.P.R.

  190. Brandi said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:50

    I DEMAND that the Obama’s make a statement exhorting teenagers to avoid sex. Freepers are such easy targets. You know they would totally take the bait.

    Make it unprotected gay sex involving blood and scat play, unless you want to make Idiocracy arrive just a little sooner.

  191. Say What said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:51

    Yeah – fuck Michelle Obama.

  192. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    October 28, 2009 at 3:06

    #

    Tommmcatt said,

    October 28, 2009 at 2:19

    …raise a buttload of cash between now and ‘12

    I have to admit, that phrase has always confused me. Wouldn’t a “buttload” of something by necessity be very, um, small? I know if it were my butt it would have to be….

    The phrase I learned at my mother’s knee, so to speak (she was from Texas, but I don’t know if that makes any difference) was “shitload.” I only started hearing “buttload” recently, or noticing it anyway, and I’ve been thinking of it as a polite euphemism.

  193. Tommmcatt said,

    October 28, 2009 at 3:09

    Rev-

    You’d think you’d want a “shitload” to be even smaller.

  194. eidos said,

    October 28, 2009 at 3:10

    OT but recall the matter of Tinkerbell’s questionable sexual orientation? It gets worse. She’s a full-blown Commie treehugger!

  195. MonkeyChild of the Dragon-King said,

    October 28, 2009 at 3:40

    I’m guessing “shitload” refers to truckloads of manure. Or sewage. Nice metaphor. Really, what are we always and everywhere up to our ears in, to the point that it can only be shovelled and trucked away?

    Now I’m gonna go back to banging my head on a wall.

  196. g said,

    October 28, 2009 at 3:48

    Tinkerbell’s a cross dressing tree-hugging bull dyke????

    —-faints

  197. Jennifer said,

    October 28, 2009 at 3:54

    I actually remember thinking, ‘Well, maybe he won’t be so bad,” figuring the ol’ “compassionate conservative” thing.

    I actually remember thinking, “oh shit, the corporations have decided they are no longer even worried about maintaining the pretense that they don’t intend to fully own the government, and they’re throwing all their money behind an empty suit who will do their bidding.”

    In retrospect, I got it at least half-correct…even I didn’t forsee the dark reign of Darth Cheney.

  198. JoeBuddha said,

    October 28, 2009 at 4:03

    I like how half of the comments are completely pwning the whole thesis. Good times!

  199. g said,

    October 28, 2009 at 4:10

    Well, now that I’m not at work, I can go to the American Stinker site.

    I still have to chuckle everytime I see their Uncle Sam on the toilet graphic.

    Are they really serious with that?

  200. M. Bouffant said,

    October 28, 2009 at 4:34

    They must be serious. Uncle Sam’s been trying to strain that one out for at least, what, two yrs. that I remember, & it’s been roundly mocked many a time.

    The sepia/poop tone just adds to it. What is wrong w/ them? And why can’t they keep their petty personal problems to themselves?

  201. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    October 28, 2009 at 4:44

    “Tebow left, badoodle doo, cool coach out”.

    …doo be doo be doo-wop.

  202. Tehanu said,

    October 28, 2009 at 5:56

    If Michelle were to deliver a message to teenage girls that they shouldn’t have sex, would these people all of a sudden complain about how the White House is trying to take away the God-given right of teenagers to fuck?

    Yes, they would.

  203. Fat Womanist Mama from Tennessee said,

    October 28, 2009 at 5:58

    Where’s Iris, anyone seen Iris?

    Iris! Gurl you git you fat ass back here and stop that messin’ round in the internets, you ain’t gonna fine no slick-ass eastern boy, now git back here and git the fatback on the stove and git them grits cookin. Daddy’s gonna want some dinner afta he done a full two hours a cashin in metal.

    Iris! Where you at? Iris!

  204. Fat Womanist Mama from Tennessee said,

    October 28, 2009 at 5:59

    watchoo lookin’ at?

  205. M. Bouffant said,

    October 28, 2009 at 6:07

    Is that MzNicky there in Tenn.?

  206. Djur said,

    October 28, 2009 at 6:18

    Big Hollywood is the best right wing website, bar none.

  207. Substance McGravitas said,

    October 28, 2009 at 6:29

    Djur is correct.

  208. Jennifer said,

    October 28, 2009 at 6:59

    Yeah, except I wish everyone would call it Big Hollywood Butthurt instead. It’s more descriptive.

  209. Smut Clyde said,

    October 28, 2009 at 7:16

    Last year, if memory serves, the story going around was that Obama had read ‘Nudge’, so rather than overtly coercing people for their own good the new regime was going to be all about subtle manipulation towards the desired goals. This seems to have driven the right bloggosphere further in the Librarian-Poo direction. Anything could another step in the process of subliminal thought-control. No way of telling.

  210. Smut Clyde said,

    October 28, 2009 at 7:20

    Make it unprotected gay sex involving blood and scat play
    In the cause of energy conservation, and as a step towards our shared green future, Americans should avoid electrical play with mains voltage.

  211. Jay Are Eff said,

    October 28, 2009 at 8:08

    mark f said:
    “Oh boy! I can’t wait til this shameless abuse of power is lampooned in this trenchant new comic.”

    OH GOD THE STUPID WITHIN THE COMMENTS SHE BURNS ME.

  212. Smut Clyde said,

    October 28, 2009 at 8:22

    the benefits of replacing cake and French fries with vegetables.

    French fries are not a vegetable? I’m going to have to re-think my diet now.

  213. Ms. W. said,

    October 28, 2009 at 15:00

    This brilliant writer has obviously gotten quite a bit of attention. I have researched her site and her articles and the American Thinker and like what I see. And I’m not alone, I can assure you of that. Hmmmm….. could it be the libs think that perhaps they’re in trouble now? The country is waking up and the libs are running for their lives. I for one enjoy her commentary and her articles. She backs them up with facts. That’s right folks: FACTS. This Obama administration is all about control. Have we all but forgotten that important document called the Constitution? We have the RIGHT to free speech. And so does Jeannie Deangelis. And I look forward to reading her next article! If that makes me a “wingnut” so-be-it. I’m in very good company!

  214. jas dye said,

    October 28, 2009 at 15:16

    I’m just surprised that Ms. W. knows how to spell facts.

  215. jas dye said,

    October 28, 2009 at 15:30

    If that makes me a “wingnut” so-be-it.

    don’t forget “teabagger,” “looney,” “nutjob,” “so full of hate that I can’t even bother with reason,” “sh*t-maker-upper”….

  216. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    October 28, 2009 at 15:40

    You’d think you’d want a “shitload” to be even smaller.

    depends on the size of your shit-moat.

    And so does Jeannie Deangelis. And I look forward to reading her next article!

    I think I speak for most people here, as well as the Sadly No staff, when I say we do too.

  217. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    October 28, 2009 at 17:36

    I wish everyone would call it Big Hollywood Butthurt instead.

    I just call it Butt Hurtywood.

  218. Gee Dumbya said,

    October 28, 2009 at 17:37

    We have the RIGHT to free speech.

    Ah-yup, s’long as you stay in your little cage.

  219. mark f said,

    October 28, 2009 at 18:22

    I just call it Butt Hurtywood.

    Well, I just went there hoping to find page 2 of the trenchant “Obamanation.” Unfortunately all I found was Steve Chowder bragging about the “big words” he was using–Like “proportion.” Seriously.–in arguing against the coming imposition of the Fairness Doctrine (again, seriously). That, and some guys taking on such timely cultural heavyweights as John Lennon’s “Imagine” and David Caruso.

    I wish they’d drop the heavy lifting and get back to the funny.

  220. OneMan said,

    October 28, 2009 at 22:07

    “Wouldn’t a “buttload” of something by necessity be very, um, small?”

    You’ve never seen goatse.cx, have you?

  221. Mrs. K. said,

    October 29, 2009 at 16:34

    Based on this article, I’d have to agree with Deangelis, a writer who has gotten you into so much of a tizzy that you found it necessary to denigrate a column she wrote. If I sent my child to the WH for a ‘fair,’ I’d expect her to enjoy a first-class, one-of-a-kind event–one that was fun, special, memorable. This fair sounds about as uninspired and disappointing as the careless gift choices made by the Obamas.

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