You know that you really can’t go wrong in the easy ridicule department with a column titled “We want you to eat it! Just eat it!” at the amusingly titled “American Thinker.” Adding to the potential for hilarity, the column is penned by one Jeannie Deangelis who describes herself as “a vehemently pro-life, anti-liberal, Evangelical Judeo-Christian Grandmother of the Baptist denomination” and who apparently perfected her chops as a wingnut writing crank letters to the editor, which is what most of these whack jobs spent their time doing before they discovered the Internet.
Jeannie’s column is in the fine, if well-tilled, tradition of wingnut commentary seeking to establish that whatever the Obamas do, no matter how innocuous or otherwise praiseworthy, is a threat to the nation and a frightening harbinger of the day in the not-too-distant future where federal troops will show up at the door and make conservative Americans turn in their Bibles for Korans, participate in gay orgies, and defecate on Glenn Beck’s Christmas sweater.
So what’s gotten Jeannie all bug-eyed and desperate today? Vegetables and exercise. Seriously:
The word “fair” conjures up images of merry-go-rounds, fluffy, pink cones of spun sugar, candy apples and popcorn. Not if you are invited to the White House. Excited Washington DC school children, disembarking from yellow school buses on the South Lawn of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue were in for a big shock! The Obamas’ idea of a kid’s fair included sermons extolling the benefits of replacing cake and French fries with vegetables.
Imagine finding out you have the afternoon off and are going to the White House for a “fair.” When you get there you realize the festivities include Michelle doing a hula-hoop demonstration followed by lectures about the advantages of eating foods you hate?
Leaving aside that none of these buffoons went into full meltdown mode when Laura Bush launched her initiative (with the commies at HHS no less) to fight childhood obesity, just how the fuck did telling children to finish their vegetables and get off the couch and get some exercise become a bad thing? Well, of course, when Michelle Obama said it. If Michelle were to deliver a message to teenage girls that they shouldn’t have sex, would these people all of a sudden complain about how the White House is trying to take away the God-given right of teenagers to fuck?