21
Adam Yoshida’s Triumphant Return
After a two-month hiatus, Adam Yoshida has returned with an eloquent and well-reasoned essay simply called “Nuke Iran.” Let’s check it out:
Nuke Iran
We are now rapidly approaching the moment that many of us have long feared.
Notice how he said that many of us feared it, not all of us. It’s an important distinction, ’cause for some people, the thought of nuking Iran is like popping a whole bottle of radioactive viagra:
Either we accept the acquisition of nuclear weapons by a maniac state which will almost certainly use them against Israel (and probably the United States as well), setting off a nuclear exchange which will kill millions of people or we launch a pre-emptive strike of our own – for which we will face certain retaliation and probable economic losses – and do so using all the means at our disposal, including nuclear arms.
I also hear the Iranians have an army of level-5 rock trolls and level-7 pyrolisks, which are immune to nuclear weapons. Either way, they’re gonna be tough to beat.
Before us – the people of the free world – is a choice. Do we choose to live the rest of our lives in fear? Do we even, as some are sure to propose, commit an act of evil so great as to demand that six million Jews – and millions of free Arabs – either die, abandon their homes, or live under the rule of theocratic madmen? Do we want to live in a world where a nuclear Iran, shielded by its missiles and its nuclear bombs, routinely commits and supports Islamic atrocities?
Calm down, Adam. John Negroponte, who isn’t exactly a hippie-dippy left-winger, says Iran is 4-9 years away from having a nuclear weapon. There is still plenty of time to work this out without dropping nuclear weapons on the Iranians. Just take that bucket of ice and pour it right down your shorts.
Further, I put it to you that we cannot even, were we to abandon those who surely lie under the shadow of the Iranian bomb, rely upon deterrence to prevent attacks upon our own homes. In this era of weakness, do you believe that most Western leaders would have the will to properly retaliate for a nuclear attack which, say, killed half a million New Yorkers?
I’m not saying that we wouldn’t use nuclear weapons in response to a nuclear attack – we surely would. But would we use them against targets sufficient to deter such an attack? It would be one thing for Iran to launch a nuclear attack in the certainty that, in response, the United States would wipe Tehran and a hundred other Iranian cities off the face of the Earth. But I – and I suspect the Iranian leadership as well – tend to believe that our people and our politicians are too weak to inflict such deserved punishment upon our enemies.
Adam. Jesus Christ. The Iranians are not crazy enough to drop a nuclear weapon on New York. They know that such an action would effectively end their regime. The reason we have to fear a nuclear Iran is primarily because:
a.) It will give them disproportionate influnce in the region, particularly in Iraq.
b.) It will likely set off an arms race in the Middle East, with Saudi Arabia and Egypt the most likely contenders to go nuclear.
They are not crazy enough to launch a goddamn nuclear strike on New York. I repeat: take that tray of ice and shove it down your pants.
Instead, I tend to think that they’d dither and then finally launch a nuclear response against the military of the enemy. What we face here is the real possibility of asymmetrical nuclear warfare, with our enemies perfectly willing to kill millions of civilians and our leaders unwilling to respond in kind.
Perhaps the above isn’t true of President Bush – I don’t believe that it is – but it certainly will be true of future leaders.
I can’t tell you how comforting it feels to have a president that, per Adam, is “perfectly willing to kill millions of civilians.” I worry about the future, when we won’t have a genocidal maniac calling the shots.
It would even be true of many possible ostensibly ‘conservative’ American leaders. The primal call for an eye for an eye seems to have slipped from the minds of the Western elite.
It’s true: most Western leaders are not, in fact, totally fucking insane. This is why Adam wants G-Dubs to nuke Iran while he has the chance. Who knows when we crazy Americans might elect somebody rational!
And, I would note, the above assumes some degree of rationality on the part of the leaders of our enemies. Iran’s President Ahmadinejad, on the other hand, appears, like most Islamist leaders, to be a wild-eyed, raving, lunatic who believes that he’s some kind of Islamic spiritual figure – the Persian edition of Martin Sheen’s character in The Dead Zone, who launches a sudden and senseless nuclear attack simply to “fulfill his destiny.� The idea of a man who sees visions of divine lights and is actively and openly preparing for the arrival of the “12th Mahdi� with control of nuclear weapons and a global terror network is the stuff of nightmares.
Or in Adam’s case, sultry wet dreams.
More to the point: no Islamist leader can be trusted with the bomb. Frankly, I’d be more comfortable if no Islamic nation (including Pakistan – and hopefully someday India will do something about that) had nuclear weapons.
Yes, India- NUKE PAKISTAN!!! MAKE ADAM’S FUCKING DAY, YOU CRAZY COW-WORSHIPPING BASTARDS!!!!1!
Perhaps there are trustworthy Moslem leaders in the world but, at this point in time, allowing them to possess nuclear arms is something akin to handing out Assault Rifles to escaped mental patients.
I’m sorry the Candian governmment turned down your gun permit application, Adam (or as you were formerly known, “Patient 843 from Cell Block C”).
Some will say that there’s nothing to be done about Iran’s acquisition of nuclear arms – that the military options are all unworkable. I don’t believe that to be even remotely true. Certainly, the conventional military options are limited and it is equally true that a strike is likely to miss some facilities. As well, Iran is sure to retaliate by launching terrorist attacks against the Israel and the West and to stir up trouble in Iraq. We know all of that to be true.
However, we still possess the capability to strike. Indeed, in contemplating action against Iran we ought to recall an old phrase – “Shock and Awe.� What we saw over Baghdad in 2003 was far from what the inventors of that phrase envisioned. What happened in 2003 was a limited air campaign designed to minimize casualties in the part of the enemy. What is needed in 2006 is an all-out air campaign designed to utterly devastate Iranian military and industrial capacity.
I agree, and that’s the #1 why the Iraq war’s been such a failure- we’ve failed to kill an adequate number of people.
As well, I think that we need to strongly consider the use of nuclear arms against Iranian targets. A lot of these facilities are certain to be deeply buried and heavily defended. They need to be totally destroyed as quickly as possible. In order to make that happen, there’s only one option: ground-penetrating free fall nuclear bombs.
Of course, once the decision to use nuclear weapons in any capacity has been taken, there’s no real reason to limit their use. One nuclear attack and fifty are going to have pretty much the same effect in American and global public opinion (so long, of course, as we don’t blow up Tehran or a major city). If we’re going to use nuclear weapons to destroy Iranian underground nuclear research and development sites, they might as well be used to destroy Iranian missile bases, airfields, and other vulnerable installations set out in the open.
Heck, we can even use ‘em to kill lawn weeds and escaped zoo animals.
It would probably also be safer to use them against chemical and biological research facilities. Depending upon the shape of the events that followed, it might also be worth using them against Iranians ground forces in the field, assuming that they’re clear of densely populated areas.
Ah c’mon, Adam. You should use them especially if they’re in densely populated areas. You don’t want the Persians thinking you’re weak, do you?
Such an attack would have to be larger in scale that the 1981 operation by Israel against Iraq not only on account of the size and sophistication of Iran’s program, but also because of the obvious need to neutralize the major economic threat posed by Iran – their ability to disrupt shipping in the Persian Gulf.
Hey, y’know what would really disrupt shipping in the Persian Gulf? The widespread use of nuclear weapons on Iran. Just sayin’.
It would make sense if, at the same time as the air attack is launched, the US Navy destroyed every single ship in Iran’s Navy along with Iran’s coastal missile batteries and paramilitary forces capable of operating on the water.
Or they could hire an elf mage to cast a level-12 frost spell and freeze the entire Persian Gulf. Of course, that’d disrupt shipping pretty bad too. I guess this is why Adam is the super-cool military stragerist, and I’m just schmuck who makes fun of the super-cool military strategerist.
ts said,
April 21, 2006 at 2:13
I love his sauces!
RETARDEAU said,
April 21, 2006 at 2:13
As far as I know, Iran cant *get* a nuclear missile to us. the best range they have is western europe. but i’m not an expert military strategerist, either.
Taube said,
April 21, 2006 at 2:33
Let me see if I get this right - Iran might, at some point, use a nuclear weapon and that would be bad because nuclear weapons are bad. So, to prevent that, we should use a nuclear weapon, which would be good, because America rules, bitches! Got it. Oh, and wouldn’t a nuclear blast be a *bad* way to neutralize a chemical or biological weapon facility?
Brad R. said,
April 21, 2006 at 2:35
Oh, and wouldn’t a nuclear blast be a *bad* way to neutralize a chemical or biological weapon facility?
Not if you nuke the fallout debris. Aaaaaah, didn’t think of that, did ya?!
GoatBoy said,
April 21, 2006 at 2:36
So we are losing to Canada in both the Pension Filching Televangelist and the Genocidal Wingnuts categories?
It’s a sad day.
Thorlac said,
April 21, 2006 at 2:44
It took him two months to write this because his keepers kept retightening the bindings of his straitjacket and knocking the crayon out from between his toes.
Grotesqueticle said,
April 21, 2006 at 2:45
Shorter Yoda:
Nuking brown people = Good.
Yes, India- NUKE PAKISTAN!!! MAKE ADAM’S FUCKING DAY, YOU CRAZY COW-WORSHIPPING BASTARDS!!!!1!
That was chuckalicious.
Ginger Yellow said,
April 21, 2006 at 2:49
Christ on a bike.
“In this era of weakness, do you believe that most Western leaders would have the will to properly retaliate for a nuclear attack which, say, killed half a million New Yorkers?”
Um, Adam. In this era of weakness, Western leaders invaded and occupied two countries in response for an attack by a non-state organisation which killed 3,000 people. Of course they’d fucking retaliate you fucking psycho. Even those surrender monkeys in France sent paratroopers into Cote d’Ivoire when it was looking a bit dicey for some expats.
“Do we want to live in a world where a nuclear Iran, shielded by its missiles and its nuclear bombs, routinely commits and supports Islamic atrocities?”
No, we want to live in a world where Israelis and everyone else downwind of Iran have to live underground and eat only food imported from the other side of the world. For fuck’s sake.
tigrismus said,
April 21, 2006 at 2:57
That is one of the most frothingly bug-fcking insane examples of delusional chop-logic I’ve ever seen. I’ve had sweat-drenched fever dreams that were more sound.
Mal de mer said,
April 21, 2006 at 2:58
Yodel’s got comments again.
…uh, yay, I guess.
Hysterical Woman said,
April 21, 2006 at 2:59
I know the trolls will eat me for this, but I worry about the safety of the Iranians. This doesn’t mean I agree with the Iranian government, but I don’t want to kill millions of people just because of jerks in charge. I guess that makes me pro-terrorist.
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:00
The really sad thing is you can take this back-bacon-eatin’ yay-hoo’s rant, remove his byline and insert the name of practically ANYONE who supports military action against Iran. They’re all saying basically the same thing: “Iran may get nukes sometime in the future, they don’t like Israel and I’m very, very scared, so we should nuke Iran first. No, we’d still be the good guys.”
Sheesh. Doesn’t this kid live in British Columbia? Isn’t he aware that therein lies some of the ickiest of the sticky? Do I need to make a pot joke based on today’s date? I do hate to sound like the stoner stereotype I am, but man…Adam needs to burn one down with me, seriously.
Pinko Punko said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:01
My fave is “hey we’d use it under these other circumstances, why not now? also, wouldn’t it be awesome if the Indians nuked the pakistanis? Wouldn’t that help us out? I mean the Dell call-center is bound to be collateral damage, right?”
WHAT A TURD!
Dan Someone said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:08
Of course, once the decision to use nuclear weapons in any capacity has been taken, there’s no real reason to limit their use.
Best. Wingnuttery. Ever. (Today.)
confused canuck said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:11
Oh dear. It would seem, we in the “few acres of snow”, have a great deal to apologize for. Aimee Semple Macpherson, Father Coughlin, Celine Dion, and Mark Steyn. I can’t remember or think of any more, although I am certain the list is much longer. And Lo! Adam Yoshida’s name led all the rest. I humbly apologize.
At least we can share Neil Young
Brad R. said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:16
Oh dear. It would seem, we in the “few acres of snow”, have a great deal to apologize for. Aimee Semple Macpherson, Father Coughlin, Celine Dion, and Mark Steyn.
Nickelback. Nickelback. Nickelback. Apologize, you bastard.
shaker said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:23
Adam become Death, destroyer of the worlds!
His Grace said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:25
Of course, once the decision to use nuclear weapons in any capacity has been taken, there’s no real reason to limit their use.
Best. Wingnuttery. Ever. (Today.)
I would agree that it is absolutely hilarious but scary in that there’s enough people out there (including our beloved Gary) who think this is RATIONAL.
Gary Ruppert said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:26
Adam makes a lot of good points here.
When it comes to Iran, if nuking Iran is the only way to stop it from using nukes, then that is a route which we should go on.
The fact is that the Iranian government is under the influence of an insane death cult and they think that nuking America is a good idea. After all, to them, it’s not a big deal to kill non-Muslims.
They’re under the impression that the entire world should be converted to Islam by force.
Barring a miracle, we will need to take military action against Iran.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:33
Why does a picture of Gavin have the backdrop of a computer creating this very post??
Hmmm??? Brad??
STH said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:33
The fact is that the American government is under the influence of an insane death cult and they think that nuking Iran is a good idea. After all, to them, it’s not a big deal to kill non-Christians.
They’re under the impression that the entire world should be converted to Christianity by force.
Hey, I found a way to make Gary make sense!
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:34
At least we can share Neil Young
And four-fifths of The Band, even if Robbie Robertson is a cobag amongst cobags. And maybe Hank Snow.
Barring a miracle, we will need to take military action against Iran.
What do you mean “we”, pale face? What sort of action will you, personally, be taking against Iran? You wanna smoke a bowl with my, Gary?
confused canuck said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:38
Brad R.
Nickleback? Um, i’m 62, and the only nickles I know about are in my pocket.
Are they a particularily egregious rock band? Perhaps my now legally deaf daughter would know.
Brad R. said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:40
Are they a particularily egregious rock band?
Yes. Second only to Creed.
(I hereby apologize for Creed, by the way. And Leonard Cohen is a very good Canadian entertainer too, FYI.)
Gary Ruppert said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:42
The fact that you would compare Christianity to Islam shows your delusion.
Christianity is a religion of love and peace.
Islam is a religion of war and impulse
Mal de mer said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:44
Britney Spears? The View? FoxNews? The GOP?
…Buffalo, New York?!!
Canadians don’t have to apologise for anything…well, maybe for those awful cold fronts in December. And Pamela Anderson’s right implant.
cranky said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:48
One nuclear bomb…50 nuclear bombs…It’s all the same. Fuck it. We’re not going to hit near any of the oil fields though, right?
And Brad, did Adam really say, “They are not crazy enough to launch a goddamn nuclear strike on New York. I repeat: take that tray of ice and shove it down your pants,” because that seemed a little out of character to me. (Apologies if this is some cutting edge blogging technique where commentary is interspersed with block quotes.)
His Grace said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:48
The fact that you would compare Christianity to Islam shows your delusion.
Christianity is a religion of love and peace.
Errr, yeah Gary, that’s why Christians killed 15 million people in the first world war. Then, just to prove how loving and peaceful we were, we fought a second one with three times as many casualties.
Gary Ruppert said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:51
“that’s why Christians killed 15 million people in the first world war”
World War I was not a war to spread Christianity.
Brad R. said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:53
Cranky- thanks it should be fixed.
Mohammed Ruppert said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:53
Somewhere on the other side of the planet… [cue swirly screen]
Osama makes a lot of good points here.
When it comes to America, if nuking America is the only way to stop it from using nukes, then that is a route which we should go on.
The fact is that the American government is under the influence of an insane death cult and they think that nuking Iran is a good idea. After all, to them, it’s not a big deal to kill towel-heads.
They’re under the impression that the entire world should be converted to Western-style democracies by force.
Barring a miracle, we will need to take military action against America.
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:53
Adam Yoshida wrote:
No he didn’t.
Just sayin’.
Catherine said,
April 21, 2006 at 3:56
Gary, I’m wondering whether your Warheads of Love and Peace will be raining down lollipops and WWJD bracelets on Iran.
cranky said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:00
Gary, I’m wondering whether your Warheads of Love and Peace will be raining down lollipops and WWJD bracelets on Iran.
Sort of like nuclear pinatas.
GoatBoy said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:09
I can’t remember or think of any more, although I am certain the list is much longer.
Swanky Swank and Benny Hinn…
elendil said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:10
The fact that you would compare Christianity to Islam shows your delusion.
I agree. Gary, after we nuke Iran, will we be applying our morally-superior-to-Islam rules of warfare to the survivors? Because our religion says we can have whichever virginous booty remains (Deut 21:10-14, Num 31:17-18), and those doe-eyed Persian men give me butterflies.
His Grace said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:16
World War I was not a war to spread Christianity.
Gary, I love you. Seriously I do. In fact, I agree with you. World War I wasn’t a war to spread Christianity. World War I was a war between Christian nations fighting over which Christian nations were Christian enough to, well, carry on the white man’s burden or something like that. Young men went over the top and got slaughtered by machine gun fire all in the name of Christian peace and love… because those other guys… those Germans or those Russians… they weren’t REALLY Christians see.
tigrismus said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:19
Gary is right on target. We should accept the gentle yoke of our peaceful, loving Christian overlords, and rest assured we will be ruled as beneficently as Calvin ruled Geneva.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:26
When did the Ottoman Empire become a Christian nation?
Gratis said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:28
I love Benny Hinn…sigh
confused canuck said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:33
I wonder if Bushido Boy has actually thought this through. I know linear thinking is a foriegn concept to many extremists and actually employing scientific reasoning is taboo. Says so in their bibles, after all. What, for example, does he think will happen to the clouds of radiation that will be generated? Will they remain localized? Is there no wind in Iran? Does he know how to spell Chernobyl? Perhaps his hero, The Boy Emporer has a cunning plan to make all the radioactive dust fall immediatly to the ground. Perhaps he is too young to remember that terrible accident in the Ukraine, whose effects are still being felt today. As I remember it, the fallout drift affected countries as far away as the UK and Scandinavia. Oh, I forgot, those degenerate Euros don’t count. Is he aware that Israel is right next door, and may not really appreciate nukes being flung around in their vicinity? In any event, according to the International Nuclear Community, Iran only posesses 160 or so centrifuges which, if they all work and cascade properly may produce ONE bomb in, oh, 6 to 8 years I have read in various places, Josh Marshall for one, that rattling rockets around noisily is a plan dreamed up to make us feel better when they try and flatten Iran with conventional ordinance. We are supposed to breath a sigh of relief and posit that they are not all that insane. Just a little insane, you understand, a smidgen. No more than that. My head hurts.
elendil said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:34
we will be ruled as beneficently as Calvin ruled Geneva
I for one welcome our new child-beheading overlords.
His Grace said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:35
I don’t know Annie. When did the United States, Great Britain, Canada, Australia, South Africa, France, Germany, Russia, Austria-Hungary, Italy, Portugal, Romania, Bulgaria, Serbia and Greece become Muscom Islamo Fascist Nations? If it wasn’t prior to 1914, my guess is that WWI was mainly fought between Christian powers.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:38
The Ottoman Empire was one of the major allies of Germany. It was also basically the entire Muslim world at the time.
Chris Lepore said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:39
The most frightening thing in this entry is the graphic at the top, which shows what appears to be Potato-Head Bobby (or maybe the Thing-Fish) emerging from its lair in the event of nuclear holocaust. Are we prepared for the Night of the Living Thing-Fishes that would undoubtedly follow an attack on Iran? Can Frunobulax, the great big poodle dog, be far behind?
Go to the shelter, my baby, my baby… go to the shelter, go to the shelter…
teh l4m3 said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:42
“Of course, once the decision to use nuclear weapons in any capacity has been taken, there’s no real reason to limit their use.”
No, none at all.
His Grace said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:44
Uh, Annie… Germany’s major Allies were Austria-Hungary, Bulgaria and from 1915 on, The Ottoman Empire.
They all kinda got their butts kicked and Germany was constantly propping them up.
And No Annie, The Ottoman Empire never contained the entire Muslim world. The Muslim World stretches from Morocco to Indonesia and from Somalia to Bosnia and Turkmenistan.
Notice those places. None of them in 1915 were part of the Ottoman Empire. They were French, Dutch, Austrian and Russian respectively.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:50
I said, “basically” the Muslim world. That doesn’t mean there weren’t other Muslims here and there. That’s a helluva lot of Muslims you’re making Christian if you’re saying it was a war between Christian nations.
And thanks for restating my point that the Ottoman Empire was a major ally of Germany.
I mean who do you think taught the Muslims how to blow up trains? We’ve got Lawrence to blame for that. Did he win his way into the tribes with his knowledge of the Bible?
Tommy Yum said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:55
What a dumb fuck.
NUKE IRAN COBAGZ!!!1!!one!!uno!1!
“Hey man, you’re too chicken to use nukes.”
“No I’m not.”
Yes you are.”
Not, infinity!”
“Infinity plus one, cobag!”
BOOM.
Mal de mer said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:56
Did he win his way into the tribes with his knowledge of the Bible?
We’ll wait for you tell us the answer. We know it takes time to read a Wikipedia article.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 4:59
I’ll take that as an acknowledgement that I’m correct that Muslims are not Christians.
g said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:02
Can I dig this? THEIR nuclear bombs would kill millions of people. OURS won’t. THEIR nuclear bombs would disrupt shipping. OURS won’t. PAKISTAN’S bombs — ba-a-a-a-d. INDIA’s bombs — OK.
Do I have this right?
His Grace said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:05
Annie, you are contridicting yourself. First you are saying that the Ottoman empire is a major ally of Germany, then you are claiming that Lawrence trained them to blow up trains (Something that only Muslims apparently do, Tamil Tigers, Timothy McVeighs, Red Army Factions, the IRA, the ETA, and Irgun notwithstanding). See only problem is that Lawrence was on the British side trying to liberate the Muslims from the Ottoman Turks.
Anyways, the Ottoman Empire was a joke. They tried invading Egypt. Once. A lot of young men died. They never tried again. Germany on the other hand fought the British and the French and the Russians (and much later the Americans) tooth and nail for 4 Years. The majority of the 15 million dead in the War were Christians Annie, not Muslims.
Essential Wingnut debate points: When using historical context as a means to justify current wingnuttery facts nor understanding are necessary.
oranges, for example said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:07
Why do you guys bother with her? There’s the low-hanging fruit, and then there’s the fruit one actually must unearth from the compost heap….
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:11
g,
Isn’t Pakistan an ally in the War On Terror? Wouldn’t, therefor, their nukes be okay? France has nuclear weapons, yet they are, of course, French and, thus, unAmerican. Are their nukes worse than Pakistans?
g said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:11
“I’ll take that as an acknowledgement that I’m correct that Muslims are not Christians”
That’s about the only point you’re correct on.
Houdini's Ghost said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:12
The idea of a man who sees visions of divine lights and is actively and openly preparing for the arrival of the “12th Mahdi� with control of nuclear weapons and a global terror network is the stuff of nightmares.
Uh, doesn’t Bush think that God talks to him and tells him which people to explode into freedom? Replace “12th Mahdi” with “2nd Coming” and this pretty accurately describes both Bush and that lunatic Reagan, who had the same insane millenialist bullshit to say about the USSR as our contemporary wingnuts have to say about the “Islamists.” And yes, it is the stuff of nightmares. How can Garry, Adam, and that stubborn 33% of the American public not see that?
g said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:12
“Isn’t Pakistan an ally in the War On Terror? Wouldn’t, therefor, their nukes be okay?
Oh, fuck!! It does not computer!!! India’s nukes — OK! Pakistan’s nukes - OK!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:16
I’m not contradicting myself. Lawrence used the Arabs to fight agaisnt the Ottomans who controlled them. Who were allys of Germany.
The English primarily wanted to keep the Ottomans busy so they wouldn’t have to fight them so much. Kind of like how Germany wanted Mexico to invade America.
elendil said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:18
Replace “12th Mahdi” with “2nd Coming” and this pretty accurately describes both Bush and that lunatic Reagan…How can Garry, Adam, and that stubborn 33% of the American public not see that?
Because they’re too busy watching the skies along with them.
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:20
Muslims are also not Hindu nor are they Buddhist. From the best I can tell, your average Muslim is also not followers of Thor, Gaia or Athena. They do, however, think the late J.C. is pretty cool, in a non-Son Of God sort of way.
Don’t know what they think of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or pasta-based deities in general.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:20
POINTS ANNIE IS CORRECT ON
The Ottomans were a major ally of Germany.
Lawrence taught the Arabs to be terrorists against the Ottomans, for example by blowing up trains.
Muslims are not Christian.
The Ottoman Empire was basically the Muslim world at the time. Like, Mecca is there and it’s like yeah.
WW1 was not a war between Christian nations. Neither was WW2 for that matter.
The world is not a Christian world, yet.
Gavin has small feet.
melior (in Austin) said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:21
If we just encourage Israel to do the nuking instead of us, then those crazy liberals won’t be able to say anything about it at all without demonstrating that they are just crazy anti-Semites!
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:24
If the world ever does become Christian, reckon what denomination it’ll be. Catholic or Protestant? Presbyterian or Methodist? Southern Baptist or Freewill Baptist?
Personally, if the world must be Christian, I say we let the Rev. Al Green run things. That would be awesome.
melior (in Austin) said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:25
Wait wait, I’ve got it. How about if we get the CIA to orchestrate a coup, and replace the leader of Iran with some royal figure like a Shah or something. That way we could have all their oil, mwahahaha!
His Grace said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:25
Ah the Mexicans. A bunch of Commie Muslims if I ever heard of one.
Of course Annie, you are merely acknowledging my point when you admitted that the British were using the Arabs as proxies. IE, Britain (a Christian nation) was using a bunch of Muslims to fight a bunch of Muslims who were proxies of the Germans.
The Ottomans didn’t start the war Annie. Gavrilo Princip did, plus the convergence of entangling alliances. The Ottomans weren’t even in the War ’til 1915, which at that point had engulfed all of Europe. Forgive me, I am merely an ignorant fool but I wasn’t aware that Europe was full of MusComs at that point. If Germany had dropped out of the war in 1915, The British and the French would have taken all of 3 months to take the entire territory of the Ottomans.
Side note: Has Gary and Annie ever posted at the same time? Just wondering.
melior (in Austin) said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:28
No no, here’s a better one. We storm the Iranian embassy, kidnap 52 of their citizens, and hold them hostage until the Iranian goverment delivers us their nuclear arms. Sure it’s against the Geneva Convention, but that’s quaint nowadays.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:31
I didn’t say the Ottomans started the war.
It only took 6 days for Israel to defeat Egypt and Syria. Muslims can’t fight against an ordered campaign. Their strength is in the sneak attack.
Lawrence knew this, why don’t you?
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:34
Say, if it only took six days for Israel to defeat Egypt and Syria, why is “they’re threatening Israel” used as a drumbeat for U.S. going to war with Iran?
melior (in Austin) said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:34
Muslims can’t fight against an ordered campaign.
Yeah, true dat. And I hear Christians run like little girls if you publicly cut off the heads of a few POWs.
Just goes ta show, we should only allow atheists in our Marine Corps.
elendil said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:35
why is “they’re threatening Israel” used as a drumbeat for U.S. going to war with Iran?
Because the temple has to be rebuilt before Jesus can come back.
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:40
Why can’t Muslims fight an ordered campaign? I’m not saying they can or can’t, as I don’t know one way or another, but that is a curious statement to make without providing any sort of justification for it.
Say, speaking of Lawrence, didja know he had a thing for being whipped? S’true. He liked being tied up and whipped until he bled. Basically the extent of his sexual interaction with the rest of the world, too, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:40
Say, if it only took six days for Israel to defeat Egypt and Syria, why is “they’re threatening Israel” used as a drumbeat for U.S. going to war with Iran?
Because Israel was only interested in defending herself, not taking over Egypt and Syria or wiping them off the map or annihilating them or pushing them into the sea.
His Grace said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:42
It only took 6 days for Israel to defeat Egypt and Syria. Muslims can’t fight against an ordered campaign. Their strength is in the sneak attack.
Lawrence knew this, why don’t you?
Ever hear of Gallipoli Annie?
Sheesh.
Ever hear of the Crusades and Saladin Annie?
My goodness.
Anyways, do you even know why the Ottomans got involved in the war in the first place? Do you know what their objectives were?
Let’s rehash this. World War One (from the start): Christian Powers: Germany, France, Britain, Russia, Austria Hungary, Belgium, Serbia. Of those, the ones who really had the power to dominate the world were Britain and France vs Germany. If you seriously think the Ottomans were a major power (The Greeks and the Bulgarians beat them in 1913), you seriously need your head examined Annie.
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:43
So…you’re saying Israel couldn’t take Iran by itself? I thought their army was all bad like Jesse James. I think Israel could take Iran, personally, whup up on ‘em like Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes.
melior (in Austin) said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:44
Buddhists make good warriors too, but it’s said the meditation time really cuts into training.
I also hear Zoroastrianists are just terrible at close assault combat, but can hold their own running artillery and air cover support missions.
Some Guy said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:47
I like having nuclear annihilation hanging over my head. It adds a certain spice to life. Flowers smell sweeter. Every day is like a lottery!
melior (in Austin) said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:49
And let us never again forget, if you let the Bantu warriors get their Hawk and Eagle fighter aircraft custom units, you’ll have a hell of a time regaining air superiority.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:51
The Ottomans were a big enough threat that the British went to the trouble of trying to stop them.
Ever hear of Algebra? Arabic numerals? Have you heard of anything like that coming from Arabs in the recent past? Why? Stagnation is a wonderful thing as it leads to the degradation of a culture.
I mean, look at Iraq. They ran away and the army disbanded because they couldn’t face an ordered attack like gentlemen. Instead they fight in the streets like animals, chop off heads and blow up anything they can.
Traditional Arabic warfare, just like caravan raiding and kidnapping.
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:51
Some Guy,
No shit. I haven’t felt this way since Reagan was in office. That’s one thing about Republican administrations: they certainly force you to appreciate the glory of existence…by threatening to take it away or make it even more miserable.
g said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:51
“WW1 was not a war between Christian nations. Neither was WW2 for that matter”
WHaaaa???
Britain & the Nethalands & Denmark & France vs. Germany & Italy????
Excuse me?????
“The Ottoman Empire was basically the Muslim world at the time.”
At WHAT time? The Ottoman Empire didn’t control India at any time during the 20th century or the 19th century, and it was a major Muslim terriory.
Persia ( that would be Iran) was never under the control of the Ottomans, EVER, nor was any Subsaharan African Muslim nation.
The kingdom of Saudi Arabia came to power at the turn of the century, well before the 2 WWs.
The Ottoman Empire was basically in its waning power well before the start of WWI, and completely gone by WW2.
The empire was offically no longer in business by 1922.
Annie, you are full of shit in this as in so many other things.
So at what time are you saying that the Ottoman Empire was somehow a major player in the 20th century world wars?
Anonymous said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:52
melior: I also hear Zoroastrianists are just terrible at close assault combat…
But you know who’ll win in the end? We Erisians. Seriously. You all oughtta consider converting to Discordianism. A song to explain:
Onward Christian Soldiers,
Onward Buddhist Priests.
Onward, Fruits of Islam,
Fight till you’re deceased.
Fight your little battles,
Join in thickest fray;
For the Greater Glory,
of Dis-cord-i-a.
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:53
Animals don’t “chop off heads and blow up anything they can”. No, that’s a pair of particularly human activities.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:56
So g, how did France gain control of Iran?
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 5:58
Animals don’t fight wars, either. They really don’t do much beyond eat, fuck, play and take the occasional dump. They also don’t have jobs, religion or governments.
Never have quite understood why “animal” is supposed to be a pejorative.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:00
Humans ARE animals. We are however animals made in the image of God which sets us above the other creatures on earth. When we ignore God we revert back into savages, animals who don’t value the life of the person who they sit beside on the bus before they blow themselves and everyone else on it to smithereens.
Vladi G said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:01
for which we will face certain retaliation and probable economic losses
Umm, what’s this “we” shit. He’s a fucking Candian. Nothing against Canadians, mind you, but I don’t think the Iranians will be bombing Moose Jaw or Medicine Hat anytime soon.
g said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:02
“The Ottomans were a big enough threat that the British went to the trouble of trying to stop them”
God, Annie, you are fucking ignorant.
Vladi G said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:02
Oops, I see someone on this shitbag’s own site beat me to it.
g said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:06
Um,, annie? Animals don’t blow themselves up on buses. Only humans do that.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:06
What is so hard for you to grasp?
The Ottoman Empire was involed in WW1 and they were not a Christian nation. I understand that Eurocentrics such as yourselves have no problem discounting an entire group of people because it suits your biased view of history.
And WW2 was not fought soley among Christian nations either. Unless the Japanese used to be Christian and I missed that day in school.
cranky said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:07
…we revert back into savages, animals who don’t value the life of the person who they sit beside on the bus…
Oh…now that is rich!
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:08
Humans are animals, idiot.
But animals made in the image of God. When we lose God and start serving Satan, we revert back into being mere animals.
I mean, is this thing on??
Testing….
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:11
Animals serve Satan? Wow.
Vladi G said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:12
The most frightening thing in this entry is the graphic at the top, which shows what appears to be Potato-Head Bobby (or maybe the Thing-Fish) emerging from its lair in the event of nuclear holocaust.
Dude, where have you been? That’s Sadly,No! mascot Gimme Gimme Octopus.
Kure Kure Takora, Cobagz!
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:13
When HUMANS serve Satan they revert back into being mindless demon servants, fleshbags of Satan, meatpuppets of the Prince of Darkness. Animals.
Vladi G said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:16
.we revert back into savages, animals who don’t value the life of the person who they sit beside on the bus.
See, annie is one of these homicidal tendency types who needs the fear of hellfire to keep her from flipping out and killing everyone in sight. Most of us understand that being nice to people is something you can do without the fear of an imaginary friend in the sky who will send you to the bad place if you get out of line. Some people like annie, however, have impulse control. But hey, if that’s what it takes to keep her from hacking up her family, more power to her.
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:17
So how do non-human animals serve Satan? I mean, do cats have Black Sabbaths? I bet they do, sneaky little bastards. And if someone doesn’t serve God means their “mindless demon servants, fleshbags of Satan, meatpuppets od the Prince of Darkness”, does that mean Buddhists, Hindus and atheists are demons? If I must be an animal, can I be a beagle? They look like they got it good.
And most importantly, does this mean Cris and Curt Kirkwood are emissaries of the Dark Lord?
Vladi G said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:20
So how do non-human animals serve Satan? I mean, do cats have Black Sabbaths? I bet they do, sneaky little bastards.
Fuck, and all this time my parents told me all of our pets were in dog heaven. Good thing there’s an invisible sky fairy up there, or I’d have to serve satan and kill my parents.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:22
Some people think that if they murder infidels while killing themselves they will get lots of virgins to ummm…..do in the afterlife. And not only are they virgins, but no matter how many times you have sex with them….they stay virgins!
Oh yeah, that would be the same people who blow themselves up on busses…see a connection?
Yep, they do it so they can go to heaven. Too bad they’re all hellbound. Murdering coward bastards, like the ones who hijacked the planes on 9/11.
Do you think you can change their mindset with your bullshit words of “don’t nuke them let’s all hold hands?”
If that’s all you’ve got, if you think that will change the perception they have of the “infidel”, if you think that will stop the chants of “death to America”….then you will eventually accept Allah as God and Muhammed as Prophet. Or die.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:24
100.
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:25
You know, it’s definately a negative for the Bush Administration that they really haven’t addressed the problem of the infiltration of demonic housepets into our saintly, above-reproach Christian American culture. Something should be done, or we’ll all be sacrifices for Mittens, The High Priest Of Beelzebub.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:26
Muslims hate dogs. Muslims won’t let one in the house. If a Muslim touches a dog or if a dog licks them, they freak out and go do wudu.
Vladi G said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:30
Muslims hate dogs.
Well of course! They’re competitors in a race to serve satan. They don’t want to give the dogs a competitive edge.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:32
Dogs don’t serve Satan. All dogs go to Heaven. Muslims don’t like them becuase Muslims are insane.
Pinko Punko said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:33
I’m waiting by the phone for my secret blog lover to call. *wink*
Oh hey, annie!
elendil said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:33
All dogs go to Heaven
I thought animals didn’t have souls?
elendil said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:34
…maybe they’re robot clone dogs.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:38
Well dogs don’t really go to Heaven, it’s just a movie. Sheesh!
You need to be part of God to reuinte with God. God made us in His image, our Spirit is part of Him.
Gary Ruppert said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:38
When it comes down to it, I stand by Adam’s article.
The forces of leftism are on the wrong side when it comes to the war on terror, they should be opposing islamic-fascist terrorism
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:39
Done spamming my blog, Pinko? The rush ran off? Feeling better now?
elendil said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:41
The forces of leftism are on the wrong side when it comes to the war on terror, they should be opposing islamic-fascist terrorism
Gary, do you know what a “false dichotomy” is?
cranky said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:41
Franky, I’m a cat person. I have several cats, and they’re good pets. Although lately, the kitty-beheadings have become, well, nearly intolerable.
Gary Ruppert said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:41
Gary, do you know what a “false dichotomy” is?
Yes, and I didn’t use one of those here
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:44
Personally, I’m more concerned with the dark forces of parakeet Satanism.
elendil said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:44
I didn’t use one of those here
I think you’ll find that you did. Just because the “left” don’t want crazy apocalyptic leaders of the free world nuking Iran, does not mean that we do not oppose terrorism. That was the implication of what you wrote, wasn’t it?
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:47
Maybe we should drop beagles on Iran. Get a whole Les Nesman thing going.
Vladi G said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:47
Personally, I’m more concerned with the dark forces of parakeet Satanism.
It’s OK, they go to parakeet heaven. Parakeet god created them in his own parakeet image.
elendil said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:48
Personally, I’m more concerned with the dark forces of parakeet Satanism.
I oppose the both the dark forces parakeet Satanism and kitten beheadings. (You see how that works, Gary?) All minions of Satan must learn to get along.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:49
I have two cats and a stray who thinks he can come around here anytime he wants and be fed and brushed and loved and have his battle wounds mended and then disappear for days and act like he doesn’t know me if he sees me on the street.
punkinsmom said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:50
live under the rule of theocratic madmen
Is Adam talking about Iran or the U.S. here, ’cause you know it could be either one…
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:51
Vladi G,
Momma has a parakeet, and apparently, it’s image of God is my old man. It talks to my mother - who talks back, because her sanity was destroyed due to 25 years of teaching screamin’ young’uns - but it flat worships my father. Although I think my father would make a pretty good deity, I personally am skeptical.
He was a carpenter before he retired, though. Hmmm…
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:52
Is Adam talking about Iran or the U.S. here, ’cause you know it could be either one…
Except if you made that remark in Iran you’d probably be arrested.
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:53
I oppose the both the dark forces parakeet Satanism and kitten beheadings.
Yes, but do you support beagles over Bagdhad?
Anonymous said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:54
Dropping dogs on Muslims would cause a WORLD WAR!
elendil said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:55
Yes, but do you support beagles over Bagdhad?
I have some reservations. I’m concerned about beagle-blowback.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:55
Anonymouse was me, haloscan has demons!!
elendil said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:57
Anonymouse was me, haloscan has demons!!
[gasp] A sign!!
cranky said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:57
I have two cats and a stray who thinks he can come around here anytime he wants and be fed and brushed and loved and have his battle wounds mended and then disappear for days and act like he doesn’t know me if he sees me on the street.
You lack the ability to bond with cats. You are truly missing out in life. Perhaps you should make your stray some fresh-squeezed OJ.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 6:59
I’ve bonded enough with him that he comes here when he wants to be inside and loved. Outside he’s his own cat. I respect that.
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:01
Dropping dogs on Muslims would cause a WORLD WAR!
Probably upset Rick Santorum, too. Ruin his Friday night. Perhaps we’ll drop kittens on them. That’s actually not a bad idea. Drop 25 tons of highly pissed-off kitten on an Invading Islamofacistcommienazi Horde and I guarantee you them that ain’t being scratched to hell and gone will be stunned into inactivity by the sheer cuteness tonnage.
Then, we’ll release the parakeets.
I have some reservations. I’m concerned about beagle-blowback.
Tsk. Typical lefty handwringing, objectively pro-terrorist and Satanic parakeet limp-wristedness. I guess you’d rather see the Islamofacistcommienazidarwinists set off a dirty beagle briefcase in Downtown Christian America, U.S. of Good Ol’ A.
Pinko Punko said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:01
I wouldn’t call it spam!
I’d call it “enquiring minds!”
Want to KNOW…
COME ON.
Throw the dog a BONE!
D. Sidhe said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:03
Gary and annie, I’m sorry. I know you both want to comment here, but Adam has Teh Crazy at the moment. Can you guys just draw straws to see who gets it tomorrow?
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:03
It’s been fun. Goodnight everyone, I hope you feel better soon, Pinko.
Big Worm said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:04
weird
Vladi G said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:05
Matt, your dad is simply a servant of Parakeet God.
Demogenes Aristophanes said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:09
So, annieangel, in just the last 100 years of history, which group killed the most Christians:
a. Christians
b. Buddhists
c. Muslims
d. Hindus
e. Sikhs
f. Animists
g. Parsees
h. Jews
i. Jains
j. Wiccans
k. No true Scotsman
l. Other
???
elendil said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:10
guess you’d rather see the Islamofacistcommienazidarwinists set off a dirty beagle briefcase in Downtown Christian America
They only reason they might have low-grade beagles is because we sold them to them when we thought the kittens were our greater enemy. We’re making the same mistake again, mark my words. The war on the dark forces of Satanic parakeets cannot be won with kittens alone. We will only radicalise the moderate parakeets, and turn menagerie opinion against us.
Demogenes Aristophanes said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:11
The forces of leftism are on the wrong side when it comes to the war on terror, they should be opposing islamic-fascist terrorism …
Yeah, sorry about the part where we oppose genocide and nuclear winter.
Hysterical Woman said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:12
Mohhamed was a big cat-lover. According to legend one time his favorite cat fell asleep on his sleeve and he cut off the sleeve rather than disturb his pet. It is a fact that cat-lovers are Islamofascist terrorist.
Pinko Punko said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:13
Haha! DA arrives in his clown car, but my sweet Elvis has left the building. I don’t see anyone else here on this blog askign about my cold. I think aa has a point. I’m starting to think the rest of you are cobags.
Especially Vladi G.
Demogenes Aristophanes said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:16
Annie has two great points, PP. I only hope I get into 6th Heaven, so I can look up her skirt up there in 7th Heaven.
Matt T. said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:17
Moderate parakeets? Hah, that’s a laugh. If these so-called “moderate parakeets” were worth their feathers, we’d heard them denouncing the Satanic forces within their midsts. Have you heard it? Neither have I.
And nice dodge with the beagles. It was different then, as we were facing danger from the forces of Communist Russian ponies. But you beagleists are all about appeasing the ponies, aren’t you. Like your hero, Michael Moore, who is fat because he ate ponies as a child. And Bill Clinton got a blowjob and was friendly with Chinese chickens.
cranky said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:19
Annie, on her stray cat:
I’ve bonded enough with him that he comes here when he wants to be inside and loved. Outside he’s his own cat. I respect that.
Annie, on how to be a good Christian wife:
Do not complain or question if your Husband has plans for after dinner. He has the right to a private life. Never call to check up on him. Use your free time to bake more, or to do his laundry.
Annie, on her disdain for her stray cat, i.e. would-be pet (ahem, husband):
I have two cats and a stray who thinks he can come around here anytime he wants and be fed and brushed and loved and have his battle wounds mended and then disappear for days and act like he doesn’t know me if he sees me on the street.
Hmmm….
Demogenes Aristophanes said,
April 21, 2006 at 7:23
Folks, annieangel is really starting to look like Willie Mays with the Mets, or Ali vs. Holmes.
Floyd Alvis Cooper was Barry Sanders, or more tragically, Roberto Clemente - leaving us at the very top of his game with nothing but rosy memories of good, good times.
Gary Ruppert is Uwe Blab.
celticgirl said,
April 21, 2006 at 8:16
“Humans ARE animals. We are however animals made in the image of God which sets us above the other creatures on earth (sic) When we lose God and start serving Satan, we revert back into being mere animals.”
I LOVE this argument coming from the Christians. So, during those troubled times up to and including the Reformation, who was serving Satan there? The Catholics? The Protestants? The Calvinists? The Lutherans? Get this clear, once and for all: Christians have killed probably more people in the name of their God than any other religion on the planet. Including other Christians. In God’s name. In God’s image. God seems to be the perfect justification for killing somebody else - especially if they are brown and don’t believe in white, blue-eyed Jesus. And let’s not forget that the Inquisition - the first and original one - was targeted against a Christian sect, the Cathars.
Really annie - The Ottoman Empire? Is that the best you can do? I don’t think you’re even trying anymore, more like phoning it in.
(Oh, and should we tell her that the way the way American colonists won their independence from the British was by using a guerilla force and terrorist tactics? Boston Tea Party, anyone?)
STH said,
April 21, 2006 at 8:19
The only entertainment value the two of them have for me now is seeing annie get all worked up when people ignore her. The rest of it is just the usual “talking points, leftists love terrorists, talking points, I’m saved and you’re not, talking points,” etc., etc., etc. It’s getting a tad tedious.
I’m sorry to hear about your cold, however, PP. I wish you a swift victory over the germ hordes with minimal collateral damage.
Pinko Punko said,
April 21, 2006 at 8:34
Thank you STH. I am trying to not cover everything with the fast flowing phlegm. I think the medicine is causing mood swings.
celticgirl said,
April 21, 2006 at 8:53
Uh, PP - that falls under the heading WTMI (WAY Too Much Information).
gus said,
April 21, 2006 at 9:31
Did that Canadian asshole actually say “we”?
It’s like chicken hawks saying ‘we’ won.
I’m not implying that all Canadians are assholes. Just the ones who worship bush for some strange reason.
gus said,
April 21, 2006 at 9:45
I have several cats. They worship me. I am the cat God.
D. Sidhe said,
April 21, 2006 at 10:05
My cats worship Gus? You must be very proud. They won’t even *listen* to me unless I have catnip or Pounce in hand.
PP, sorry about the cold. Try taking one Ny-Quil and one Day-Quil at the same time. I don’t think it really does anything, but it makes you feel like a rebel. Also, God is probably opposed to it.
Marq said,
April 21, 2006 at 10:50
Bwah-ha-ha-haaa!!!
Oh, that was a thing of beauty! You know, in a fucked-up, mentally-defecient way. Seems like we must be the Muslim nation, then, ‘cos it seems like this is the third war we’re initiating in six years. And this time, just to make things all glowy, we’re spicing it up by adding nukes. Bravo!
And, while nobody’s set off a nuclear device in a major American city as of yet, you can bet that if we nuke Iran that it will just be a matter of time. tick… tick… tick… Good times! Something to look forward to! Huzzah!
BTW, Gary, that was a valiant late effort on your part to steer this thread back to your genocidal talking points, but futile. annie stole it right back. You just can’t compete with her kind of output. Tell you what, though–shave your legs and post a pic of ‘em up on the interwebs, and maybe we’ll pay more attention to you. Hon.
TritoneSub said,
April 21, 2006 at 11:22
I don’t understand why annie doesn’t like atheists. We only reject one more god than she does.
JK47 said,
April 21, 2006 at 12:00
How come God can’t kill Satan anyway? I mean, why does evil exist? God doesn’t look very omnipotent to me. God is just Satan’s bitch as far as I’m concerned.
If you believe in such a thing as “Satan,” that there is actually a dude named Satan who runs a joint with lakes of fire and pitchforks and Hitler and all that, well, you are just a moron, and you are wasting your life with deluded moronic bullshit.
Religion, especially Christianity, is just ego run rampant. “I’m going to live forever! Up in heaven, with my long-lost great-grandparents and my dog Fluffy.” Uh, no, you’re not. Christianity, with its empty promise of an eternal afterlife, appeals to the egomaniac in all of us. We all want to live forever. The more clever of us have figured out that it ain’t gonna happen.
The fact that so many waste the time they actually do have on earth by paying lip service to a fictional God, then die without going to the Great Cloud In The Sky is such a sad irony. Although maybe they have the last laugh. They never find out that there’s no afterlife, because they’re already dead.
Virginia said,
April 21, 2006 at 13:05
and then disappear for days and act like he doesn’t know me if he sees me on the street.
You’d think she’d be accustomed to this kind of thing, by now.
Marq said,
April 21, 2006 at 13:28
Hey, g, if yer around, check out the Flying Spaghetti Monster thread comments. Info for you posted there. Hope it helps.
GoatBoy said,
April 21, 2006 at 15:09
And Bill Clinton got a blowjob and was friendly with Chinese chickens.
In addition, like Harrison Ford he was feeling frantic. Like Sting he’s tantric. But much like Snickers he’s guaranteed to satisfy.
Jillian said,
April 21, 2006 at 15:10
I have a cookie for anyone who’s used the term “Islamofascist” in a non-ironic sense who can actually define “fascist”.
Kemal Ataturk said,
April 21, 2006 at 15:17
And I’m hurt that after all this talk of the Ottomans, no one mentioned me at all. Was nothing I did to bring those fez-wearing backwoods hicks into the twentieth century good enough for you?
Christ, what’s a guy got to do to get shown some props anymore?
Pen Brynisa said,
April 21, 2006 at 15:21
Back to Adam and his wingnuttery for a moment. Adam said:
The primal call for an eye for an eye seems to have slipped from the minds of the Western elite.
Jesus Christ said:
“You have heard that it was said,’an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth’. But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also.”
Matt 5:38-39
Realist said,
April 21, 2006 at 15:39
that lunatic Reagan
I never thought I’d say this, but I kinda miss that lunatic Reagan. At least he was a personable lunatic, unlike Bush and his cohorts.
IncongruousAmoeba said,
April 21, 2006 at 15:53
In addition, like Harrison Ford he was feeling frantic. Like Sting he’s tantric. But much like Snickers he’s guaranteed to satisfy.
Hey, aren’t the Barenaked Ladies Canadian? Hrm.. I hear they’re also dans la maison, whatever that means.
ACG said,
April 21, 2006 at 16:04
It’s okay, Canada, we love you anyway.
Tak, the Hideous New Girl said,
April 21, 2006 at 16:14
Was nothing I did to bring those fez-wearing backwoods hicks into the twentieth century good enough for you?
You are responsible for Akbar and Jeff?
Kemal Ataturk said,
April 21, 2006 at 16:22
And I had an entire menagerie called Abdul, too!
Adam Kotsko said,
April 21, 2006 at 16:51
You have to admit that given the style of blogging he does, this really was the strongest possible way for him to come back. Plus all of these outraged left-wingers are definitely helping him to regain traffic.
FlipYrWhig said,
April 21, 2006 at 17:46
Gary, do you know what a “false dichotomy” is?
Assuming that that’s surgery to remove a false dick… Gary knows.
celticgirl said,
April 21, 2006 at 18:11
I love Akbar and Jeff!(Oops, I suppose that also makes me an Ottoman loving fez sympathizer.)
Geez, you can’t win!
Lucy said,
April 21, 2006 at 18:13
Kemal, Eric the half-bee says “hello” (flapping one wing at you) to your menagerie of Abduls. Unfortunately, I think about half your people have pretty much decided that whole period of “modernizing” and Westernizing was a mistake. Hysterical Woman, that’s one of my favorite stories. Misremembering, I used to think it was about the Buddha and was pleasantly surprised to recall who it actually was. It’s just an anecdote, but it serves as a reminder that even a religion that says some scary stuff about infidels and how Islam is supposed to conquer the world (come on, it’s in there–and I’d like to know how I’m supposed to feel about it, because I don’t feel very good at all) also has some beautiful aspects. Religion is great, if we could restrict its practice to only those who don’t take it too seriously. Like, philosophers, and not crazy yahoos who think their way is the One True Way and shove it in our faces all the time. Maybe there should be a license for practicing religion, like medical licenses.
Gus said,
April 21, 2006 at 18:18
Annie, do you really not understand that the people who blow themelves and others are not “ignoring god”, they think they’re doing god’s will?
almostinfamous said,
April 21, 2006 at 18:19
apart from worshipping cows, we indians also have a SANE person in charge of our nukes.
India 2: America 0
Kemal Ataturk said,
April 21, 2006 at 18:36
Lucy, it does suck that my countrymen are choosing the glories of the fourteenth century over the wonders of the twenty-first. In their defense, the only thing I can say is that the twentieth century wasn’t nearly as good to them as it was to you, and yet it seems like a bunch of your compatriots are trying to make the same choice.
This may be a weak, tu quoque defense, but in the end it would seem we are all the slaves of our demons, lacking the courage needed to be the masters of our worser natures.
One of your poets once said something about putting the secret of life in your pants, forgetting it’s there and sitting down on it…don’t think I could’ve said it much better myself.
g said,
April 21, 2006 at 18:44
“putting the secret of life in your pants, forgetting it’s there and sitting down on it”
The secret of life is a potato?
Lucy said,
April 21, 2006 at 19:05
“putting the secret of life in your pants, forgetting it’s there and sitting down on it”The secret of life is a potato?
g in Yoshida’s case, apparently, it’s a tray of ice cubes–if Brad gets his way.Kemal, very eloquently said. Sad that many of my countrymen and their sympathizers respond to perceived threats with an even greater display of the same threatening behavior. Did we learn nothing about the danger and futility of “escalatio,” as the poet Tom Lehrer once put it, in the Vietnam War and the Cold War? (oh, and to the wingnut peanut gallery, “we” did not “win” the Cold War–it was abandoned by both sides, temporarily.)
jpj said,
April 21, 2006 at 19:19
If Gary is Uwe Blab then Annie must be Detlef Schremf. That means Gary is only on the team so Annie can talk to him in German.
Demogenes Aristophanes said,
April 21, 2006 at 20:12
Christ, what’s a guy got to do to get shown some props anymore?
Not commit genocide against the Armenians would be a start …
Kemal Ataturk said,
April 21, 2006 at 20:19
It was a preemptive genocide - the Armenians were objectively pro-terror. What was I supposed to do? Listen to the nay-sayers in my own government who seemed to think that appeasing the land-hungry Christofascist Armenians would have protected my fellow Turks?
I say no this: I am the Decider, and I got to decide. I stayed the course, and it’s all well and good for you to criticize now, you leftist pansy.
Timmah420 said,
April 21, 2006 at 20:21
Consider the continued use of depleted uranium rounds, at the cost of the health and welfare of not only generations of future Iraqi’s but their own armed forces. Bush and Yoshida will not be concerned with the fallout or the health risks.
Annie, Saddam’s army did the only sane thing it could have in the face of overwhelming force and inferiority of numbers, they folded and decentralized and used guerrila tactics to destabalize the new government and they’ve managed to turn it into a civil war bloodbath. Now there are so many factions and groups fighting and killing for so many reasons that American troops and leaders are stuck between a rock and a hard place and don’t even know who their enemy is from day to day. If we’re comparing strategies to America’s which amounts to “stay the course, right into that wall”, Saddam wins.
Jillian - I think you’re right about the mis-use of the word “fascist”, Annie called me one when I took exception to her christian wife article. I mean really, you might as well call me a cabbage roll, it makes as much sense.
annieangel said,
April 21, 2006 at 20:32
Annie, do you really not understand that the people who blow themelves and others are not “ignoring god”, they think they’re doing god’s will?
They are ignoring God by worshipping a false god, Allah who is really Satan and who promises them eternal virgins for sex toys. I mean, think about it, there is a battle looming between Islam and the West. This will be world war 3 and it wil be RELIGIOUS because the only way the Muslims unite is through clan or Koran.
This will be Armageddon and it will be soon, so REPENT SINNERS!
Lucy said,
April 21, 2006 at 20:55
Kemal, you should stand up for yourself. You didn’t commit the genocide against the Armenians. That was before your time. Gee, being dead for 70 years sure has taken a toll on your intellectual powers.OTOH, I only know the broad outlines of Turkish history. Maybe Mustafa Kemal had something to do with it, and I just haven’t run across that fact. Sir, would you like to defend yourself?
Jillian said,
April 21, 2006 at 21:24
Honestly, you all say “genocide” like it’s a bad thing…don’t any of you ever read Glenn Reynolds?
Yes, I was involved, Lucy (or at least, the troops I commanded were), although it was before I was proclaimed the “father of my country” by my proud and grateful countrymen, so technically, I was not “Ataturk” at the time.
What can I say? The Armenians stood in the way of progress.
Jillian said,
April 21, 2006 at 21:24
Sheesh……..I’d never cut it as a troll, would I?
Lucy said,
April 21, 2006 at 21:36
Mustafa Kemal, you are the most happening 70-years-dead guy I know. You are so Internet savvy that you even know how to steal someone’s identity in a comment thread. I’ll bet Jillian is going to be PO’ed when she comes back. I tip my fez to you.
Anonymous said,
April 21, 2006 at 21:43
So why didn’t these dirtball wingnuts now howling to nuke Iran call for the same thing in Iraq back in the runup to that disaster? Wasn’t Saddam supposed to be even closer to a nuke that the Iranians?
Lucy said,
April 21, 2006 at 21:52
Short answer: because no one told them to that time, Anon.