1
Gullible’s Travails
Bob Owens says, “Take the Front Line Course, fully endorsed
by me, the Confederate Yankee, and you’ll never have to
poop in fear again!”
Oh fuck me. As if we needed any more enraged backwoods wingnuts packing heat, Bob Owens is now pushing a firearms training course from some outfit called Front Sight Firearms Training Institute where, allegedly, you can learn
The ability to draw from a concealed holster and put a controlled pair of shots to the target’s thoracic cavity from 3-5 yards away, in less than 1.5 seconds.
And you can learn to do that even if you’re busy taking a dump from a seat attached to the trailer hitch on the back of your pickup truck and your concealed holster is somewhere on the ground covered up by your overalls.
The pitch, which offers a megabazillion dollars worth of “free” extra stuff, including a stainless steel folding knife worth at least THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS (if you could buy it in stores1) for one simple low payment of $1,199. And you get a pistol worth, allegedly, $600 absolutely for free, BUT ONLY IF YOU ACT NOW!!!!!11! Operators are waiting for your call. Spaces are limited, etc., etc., etc., and also. And, of course, Owens gets an affiliate referral fee.
Intrigued by such an exciting offer, I employed my mad Google skillz and, whaddiyaknow, but in less time than it takes (if you’ve taken the course, of course) to put a controlled pair of shots in the target’s thoracic cavity from 3-5 yards away I learned that this looks like it may be the biggest scam since Owens’s charcoal grill fundraiser.
Front Sight is run by one Dr.2 Ignatius Piazza,3 who is the Bernie Madoff of gun and real estate Ponzi schemes. When people arrived at their gun training courses, he sold them lifetime memberships for hundreds of thousands of dollars which would include, at some date in the future, their very own home at the shooting range with hundreds of other gun-owners in the deserts of Nevada. Needless to say, the homes never materialized. You know, Piazza just couldn’t find the right developers and so forth and so on. His victims sued and got an $8 million dollar settlement which Piazza then never paid, leading to a court order seizing all of his assets.
So, yeah, CYers, give Dr. Pizza $1199. Sadly, No! heartily endorses this idea. In fact, buy the course for yourselves and all your family members and their friends. Please.
2As in “Dr.” of chiroprocterology.4 By the way, bitchez, from now on I am Dr. Tintin to you.
3As in this guy.
4Chiroprocterology is the practice of giving someone a back massage while simultaneously sticking a finger up the butt of the person being massaged. It is often confused with Chiroreflexoprocterology, which is where the masseur instead sticks his finger up his own butt while giving the massage.
actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 15:46
including a stainless steel folding knife worth at least THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS
Y’know, I can buy a diamond-tipped drill bit for less and it would probably slice up a wingnut better than a $20 knife sold for a 1500% markup…
actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 15:49
It’s too bad he’s too corrupt to accept comments on his blog. If only we could warn the morans who read his drippings…
gocart mozart said,
October 1, 2009 at 15:54
Third
Michael G. said,
October 1, 2009 at 15:56
Dr Tintin,
Will this gun course be better than that craps course I took that instructed me on “dice control”? If yes, I would like to sign up for two slots. One for myself, and one for my cat. I depend on my cat to secure my domicile during the day.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 1, 2009 at 15:57
Dr. Ignatius Piazza is a poor man’s Tom Selleck. (Who is a poor man’s Burt Reynolds).
gocart mozart said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:04
Tintin, you are not factoring in the the knife’s COOL factor which makes the price a deal of a lifetime.
“This is a special run of knives made specifically for this offer. If we sold a logo knife in our pro shop, which we don’t, it would be priced at $300 or more. You get it as part of this package. Knife Value: $300. Cool factor when you whip it out to open a box, slice an apple, or dissuade an attacker… Priceless!”
J— said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:05
By the way, bitchez, from now on I am Dr. Tintin to you.
I guess this is as good a moment as ever. My real name is Dr. Emil Shuffhausen.
When people arrived at their gun training courses, he sold them lifetime memberships for hundreds of thousands of dollars which would include, at some date in the future, their very own home at the shooting range with hundreds of other gun-owners in the deserts of Nevada. Needless to say, the homes never materialized.
Osgood File. I don’t see how this could have gone wrong.
Dr. Ignatius Piazza is a poor man’s Tom Selleck.
Ah, but the uniform.
kingubu said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:09
Which is worse, that Gomer didn’t do even ten minutes of due diligence Gazoogling to find out who he was shilling for, or that he did and is funneling the rubes into a scam anyway?
Once again, its the number-one Wingnut FAQ: “Stupid or dishonest?”
Legalize said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:12
Is this part of the Wankee’s new “marketing” gig he mentioned a while back?
Sockpuppet #47 said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:15
Stainless steel is for kitchen knives. It just can’t hold a proper edge for long. Infact, I dare say that a 10 dollar kitchen knife would be a better weapon, and more useful too.
For 300 dollars on a knife, I would be expecting more bling than just stainless steel. Silver plated blade (for werewolves) and jewelled hilt.
Oh wait, they are throwing in a HAT too? and a Tshirt! Forget what I said, this must be the bargain of the century!
actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:18
Dr. Ignatius Piazza is a poor man’s Tom Selleck.
He looks more like the poor man’s Alvin Chipmunk with a “chocolate milk” moustache…if you know what I mean.
Scott said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:19
So is TIDOS Yanker pushing the scheme hard enough to make him liable the next time Doctor Pizza gets sued?
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:19
By the way, bitchez, from now on I am Dr. Tintin to you.
You may call me “Dr Hackenbush” from now on.
gocart mozart said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:20
http://www.frontsight.com/handgun-quiz.asp
What Kind of Handgun Are You?
Carefully answer the personality questions below to find out what kind of handgun you are most like:
1. What would you rather do?
Go to the races
Go to the Opera
2. What would you rather wear?
Jeans and a polo shirt
Suit and tie
3. Where do you prefer to eat?
At home
In a restaurant
4. Which vehicle would you want to drive daily?
Four Door Sedan
Pick-up Truck
5. Which sports car would you want to own?
Corvette
Ferrari
6. Which action adventure hero do you prefer?
Indiana Jones
James Bond
7. Which actress do you prefer?
Hillary Swank
Angelina Jolie
8. What job best suits you?
School teacher
Stock broker
9. If given the choice what would you do tomorrow?
Go to work
Go to church
10. What sport do you enjoy most?
Football
Golfing
11. Who would you like to have as a best friend?
A cop
A Senator
12. Which dinner meal would you prefer?
Ribeye Steak
Fried chicken
13. Which lunch would you prefer?
Hamburger
Sushi
14. Which breakfast would you prefer?
Ham and eggs
Cereal and milk
15. Who would you rather be stranded on an island with?
Martha Stewart
Paris Hilton
16. If you had a choice of vacations which would you choose?
Taking a cruise
Visiting family
17. Who would you most like to spend the day with?
The President of the United States
The Playboy Playmate of the Year
18. When a movie is over what do you do?
Leave the theatre
Watch the credits
19. What best describes you?
Dependable
Flashy
20. If someone asked you for $20 for food what would you do?
Give them the 20 dollars
Tell them to get a job
21. Who would you rather see your son marry?
An attorney
A nurse
22. Who would you rather see your daughter marry?
A firefighter
A businessman
23. Who would you rather marry?
An entertainer
A civil servant
24. What social function do you prefer?
Barbecue with small group of friends
Party with large group of acquaintances
25. How would a friend best characterize you?
Powerful and intimidating
Strong but not overbearing
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:21
He says it will be like a “Disneyland for gun-lovers”
What’s the line from Jurassic Park again?
Oh. Yea.
Meanderthal said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:21
The link in footnote three is particularly amusing. Too much fail to even begin to sum up, for all parties involved.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:21
I just spent thirty minutes searching for a website that I’ve seen that has Tom Selleck macros in the style of LOLcats. That’s thirty minutes of my life I’ll never get back!
Still, I wish I had found it. It’s pretty brilliant.
Michael G. said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:22
Ooh, ooh, ooh. I call “Dr. Acula”.
Groucho Marx said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:22
1. What would you rather do?
Go to the races
Go to the Opera
Tough question. Can I get back to you? Or in front of you? I’d rather have you behind me than be beside myself.
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:23
Ooh, ooh, ooh. I call “Dr. Acula”.
FUCK! I forgot about that one…
gocart mozart said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:26
11. Who would you like to have as a best friend?
A cop
A Senator
This question seems more like an intelligence test because anyone who wouldn’t rather have a Senator as a best friend with all of his/her influence and connections is a fucking idiot.
Jennifer said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:28
I think he’s more like the really, really dumb man’s John Stossel.
Being that John Stossel is the dumb man’s John Stossel.
g said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:30
Dr. Ignatius Piazza?
Really? Hilarious.
The Tragically Flip said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:30
We can’t go much further in this without recalling that the AMWAY founders (Devos) are huge Republican supporters.
Given that conservativism itself is essentially about setting up a society-wide pyramid scheme it isn’t that surprising to see smaller point size implementations throughout conservative politics.
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:30
Being that John Stossel is the dumb man’s John Stossel.
John Stossel is the John Stossel of John Stosselism
Bitter Scribe said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:33
Once again, it’s the number-one Wingnut FAQ: “Stupid or dishonest?”
Yes.
The Tragically Flip said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:33
Dr. Ignatius Piazza?
Probably not the confederacy TIDOS Yankee really intended to set up.
DrDick said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:33
Darwin is ROFLHAO beyond the grave.
El Cid said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:33
But what if your enemy knocks your charcoal grill down sideways on the grass? Do they train you to shoot at the grill so it will stand back up? Or can you use a quick draw technique to beg your neighbors to buy you a new grill?
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:33
Probably not the confederacy TIDOS Yankee really intended to set up.
Bobo certainly puts the “con” in confederacy.
Pale Celery said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:38
I thought Bobo’s peckerwood cohort wuz agin schoolin’.
cyntax said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:38
But what if your enemy knocks your charcoal grill down sideways on the grass?
See that’s why you should use propane and propane accessories. I’m going to be offering a course that trains you to shoot your propane tank from 3-5 yards away in 1.4 seconds after your enemy knocks over your grill…
gocart mozart said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:39
The Tragically Flip said,
Dr. Ignatius Piazza?
“Probably not the confederacy TIDOS Yankee really intended to set up.”
I was thinking the same thing. Ignatius Rielly. You beat me to it.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:42
Probably not the confederacy TIDOS Yankee really intended to set up.
I just want to know how Toole was able to write a satire about Jonah Goldberg when he was still a baby. Man was a genius.
TruculentandUnreliable said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:43
I’m blaming that mistake on my hangover.
Dr. g said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:43
Oh, just went to the website in footnote 3.
Oy.
So can we assume that Confederate Wankee is now involved in Scientology?
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:45
So can we assume that Confederate Wankee is now involved in Scientology?
You mean like the Hollywood elite?
Guy in Texas said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:45
Stainless steel folding knives from Matrix, a good manufacturer, currently go for $5.99 at amazon. Retail price $300? And CY tells his readers this is a great deal? Man alive, if I were one of his customers I’d start looking around for a new gun store …
cyntax said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:47
So can we assume that Confederate Wankee is now involved in Scientology?
If wingnut punditry has taught us anything, it’s that it’s irresponsible not to assume.
cyntax said,
October 1, 2009 at 16:54
Stainless steel folding knives from Matrix, a good manufacturer, currently go for $5.99 at amazon. Retail price $300?
Yeah, but how much for the stag horn evicerator?
CapMidnight said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:01
Does Front Sight make any bad-ass USA nail clippers? I got this hangnail that’s all infected and is goin socialist and fascist an shit.
The Tragically Flip said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:04
Have Miscaivage and the other Scientology mucky-mucks ever been linked to the GOP? It wouldn’t surprise me greatly if Scientology gave generously to conservative causes.
And why not, the Moonies found their natural home, why not Scientology?
VP Product Development, Soylent Green, Inc. said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:07
Wow, big surprise. Moronic wingnut accidentally reveals himself as scientologist in training. It’s delicious.
Citizen_X said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:12
Yeah, too bad that, at average speed (5 mph), you can fucking walk 3 yards in 1.2 seconds. So, if you need to beat down someone 3 yards from you, and they go to pull a gun, you don’t even have to hurry.
tigrismus said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:21
I call Dr. Ake. I can break all my fingers to approximate the quality of the art, get a lobotomy for the quality of the thought, and start making right-wing web comics.
Major Kong said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:23
The ability to draw from a concealed holster and put a controlled pair of shots to the target’s thoracic cavity from 3-5 yards away, in less than 1.5 seconds.
You’ll put your eye out kid.
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:24
Michelle Bachmann just asked a question in committee about the dollar that was so stupid, it caused the dollar to fall on the foreign exchange.
nilsey said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:26
ha, check this out, you’ll like it:
http://imgur.com/27kOp.jpg
gocart mozart said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:32
nilsey , the sign lower and to the right about the racist police is awesome. Also Badgers.
gocart mozart said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:33
Dr Actor sir, what was the question?
D.N. Nation said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:35
In Corfed’s case, it’s straight “stupid.”
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:36
Trying to find that out, Dr Zart
D.N. Nation said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:39
This just in: Bumblin’ Bob has no qualms with the back story:
This coming from the yutz who spewed Ayers-Ayers-Ayers well after election day, even. Well done, Cornfed.
Citizen_X said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:41
@ nilsey:
Don’t you understand? Those people only get 3/5 of the 2nd Amendment.
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:51
As usual, Bobo lied:
Litigation
In 2002, he sued former Front Sight instructor Dean Gamburd for claims against his person. The case was apparently settled.[22]
In 2002, he sued Diana Hsieh for claims against his person. The case was settled out of court.[24]
In 2006, Piazza and Front Sight were sued in a class action by certain members of the “First Family”, an exclusive membership to the Front Sight facility, for failing to deliver on expectations made when the memberships were purchased.[25][26] A settlement has been proposed.(^ Proposed Final Judgment and Order of Dismissal With Prejudice US District Court, Northern California, San Jose Division. Case No. C05-04532JW.) Weblink hosed.
Anonymous said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:51
all I can think about is what an awesome internets nym ‘dr. ignatius piazza’ is. maybe ‘dr. ignatius k. piazza’. wish I’d thought of it.
mingo said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:51
that wuz me. sry.
Mr. Wonderful said,
October 1, 2009 at 17:52
“Front Sight “Any Gun Will Do– If You Will Do” Logo Shirt. I have had so many reports of people seeing our students proudly wearing their Front Sight shirts all over the country.”
We stayed up ALL NIGHT thinking of the slogan for this excellent shirt. You will not find a shirt with this slogan like it anywhere, at any price, on any of our students all over the country.
59 Les Paul said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:06
1. What would you rather do?
Go to the races
Go to the Opera
Scientologist, Queen fan.
owlbear1 said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:08
Paying thousands of dollars a year to learn how to kill people and Scientologists are ‘evil and dangerous’?
I’m sure the school throws in classes on “Ruggedness” and “Individualism” every Tuesday and Thursday right after morning PT.
I guess that old saying is true, “You can lead an Objectivist to water but then they will just draw from a concealed holster and put a controlled pair of shots into your thoracic cavity from 3-5 yards away and then build a ‘health resort’ in less than 1.5 seconds.”
gocart mozart said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:17
The lamest Dr. Hunter S. Thompson impersonation goes to (drumroll)
Robert Stacey McCain.
http://rsmccain.blogspot.com/2009/09/fear-loathing-at-ragged-rock-ridge.html
a snippet
“Spectator staffers are the most hard-partying bunch of outlaws in the D.C. press corps, and the Pig Roast is for them what the ’65 Labor Day run to Monterrey was for the Hell’s Angels.”
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:19
“Spectator staffers are the most hard-partying bunch of outlaws in the D.C. press corps, and the Pig Roast is for them what the ‘65 Labor Day run to Monterrey was for the Hell’s Angels.”
This sentence…it resembles English…
tigrismus said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:19
Objectivist + virtue ethics major = going Galt and no one notices.
Rusty Shackleford said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:20
The lamest Dr. Hunter S. Thompson impersonation goes to (drumroll)
Robert Stacey McCain.
I didn’t know R.S. McCain was a college sophomore.
SomeNYGuy said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:22
The “residential community” sounds enticing. I’ve always dreamed of living in a Piazza Hut.
Tom65 said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:23
For $300, I want some Chinese throwing stars. Ninja-style, bitchez.
stibbert said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:24
i thotz i can have it both ways –
days at the races, & nights at the opera.
SomeNYGuy said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:28
i thotz i can have it both ways –
days at the races, & nights at the opera.
You’d better Go West until you get to The Big Store.
gocart mozart said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:35
Actually his latest post is the lamest. I have no comment.
http://rsmccain.blogspot.com/
“I’m gay. I came out in the seventh grade, but I knew I was gay since third grade.”
My expression must have ill concealed my amazement. OK, she said she was a rebel, and I could think of several ways that might have caused trouble in Corbin, Ky., but . . . Well, I never would have guessed that.
She’s not a bitter, angry man-hater, though. As she said, she just likes more feminine-type personalities. Which was kind of weird, in that she seemed to like me a lot. But we don’t want to contemplate that sort of complex geometric distortion in the gaydar bounce-back pattern, do we?
No, we don’t. I’m a happily married father of six, and anyone who suggests that this is some sort of overcompensation should be warned that my Samoan attorney is notoriously sensitive about potentially libelous defamation. It’s OK for me to call myself a “neo-Confederate lesbian” — that’s just self-referential humor — but woe unto any Little Green Loser who doesn’t get the joke.
Once again, it was that moment when a journalist must ask himself, “What Would Hunter S. Thompson Do?” And in this case, the answer was to say, “Well, I guess I’d better get rolling. Wife’s expecting me Thursday morning . . . twelve-hour drive . . . nice to meet you, etc., etc.”
SpareTirade said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:36
This wouldn’t be Dr. Ignatius “Big Sausage” Piazza by any chance, would it?
gocart mozart said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:38
O.K., which one of you clowns is R.S. McCain’s anonymous troll? Fess up.
“Tempus fugits, and I really need to get home — we’re a one-car family, and my wife needs to go buy groceries — but I want to take a minute to address a recent troll problem here. Some persistently “anonymous” critic has repeatedly attempted to leave comments derogating my reporting abilities. At one point, this critic accused me of being a “cub” reporter.”
Dot said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:51
I got banned from commenting at his site a few weeks ago because I wrote that he was becoming increasingly desperate to attract readers so he could get his ad revenues up. I wonder what his cut is from whoring himself for this little operation?
jim said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:53
Whoa! Scientologists versus Objectivists? Who the hell am I supposed to root for in THAT Clash Of Teh Titan A-Holes?
Front Range Objectivism
The ability to draw from a concealed erroneous premise and put a controlled pair of flawed assumptions or strawmen to the target’s cranial cavity from any distance, in less than 1.5 seconds.
Join NOW & get your own Fetish-Cube of the finest Lucite containing an authenticated Sacred Lock Of Ayn Rand’s Pubic Hair, valued at over $300 among folks in their 40s who still live with their parents – AT NO EXTRA COST!
tigrismus said,
October 1, 2009 at 18:54
anyone who suggests that this is some sort of overcompensation should be warned that my Samoan attorney is notoriously sensitive about potentially libelous defamation.
Yeah, good luck with that.
Dr. Agon-King Wangchuck said,
October 1, 2009 at 19:08
Doctor?
Dr. g said,
October 1, 2009 at 19:11
Spectator staffers are the most hard-partying bunch of outlaws in the D.C. press corps
why does this send a shudder up my spine?
Bitter Scribe said,
October 1, 2009 at 19:26
Seriously, not to be banal, but this is one of the best Sadly posts ever. You really caught this asshole with his pants down, and not just in the Photoshop sense. I wonder if he has enough shame to scrub this stuff off his site.
mmy said,
October 1, 2009 at 19:46
Bitter Scribe: hit your PageUp key five or six times, and you’ll see that he has no such shame.
I would go so far as to say he has no shame whatsoever, but we already knew that.
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 19:56
You’d better Go West until you get to The Big Store.
At the Circus, Love Happy….
Matt T. said,
October 1, 2009 at 20:25
By the way, bitchez, from now on I am Dr. Tintin to you.
Ya know, if you send the Universal Life Church $20, they’ll send you a Doctor Of Theology certificate. I did that in college after reading Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas for the 47th time. Speaking of which…
Once again, it was that moment when a journalist must ask himself, “What Would Hunter S. Thompson Do?”
Mock Robert Stacy McCain unmercifully for being a shit-eyed pig-fucker and a horrible writer. Dear god, I didn’t know that crap was supposed to be a HST riff until it was pointed out.
Dr. Ignatius Piazza
Personally, I wouldn’t give my money to anyone who sounds like someone Thomas Pynchon thought up. Just forget it.
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 20:42
Ya know, if you send the Universal Life Church $20, they’ll send you a Doctor Of Theology certificate.
I sent them $100. I’m still waiting for my Philosopher King certificate…
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
October 1, 2009 at 20:48
Hilarity from the start:
1 Free Gun, 2 Classes
Worst video EVAR!
Stainless steel folding knives from Matrix, a good manufacturer, currently go for $5.99 at amazon. Retail price $300? And CY tells his readers this is a great deal?
It’s vorpal.
I have this hilarious image of Cornfed being confronted by an enraged horde of farm-implement wielding rubes, confident that he can “put a controlled pair of shots to the target’s thoracic cavity from 3-5 yards away, in less than 1.5 seconds” twenty times in rapid succession.
stibbert said,
October 1, 2009 at 20:51
At the Circus, Love Happy…
there’s a risk of humour w/ all this monkey bidness.
SomeNYGuy said,
October 1, 2009 at 21:09
there’s a risk of humour w/ all this monkey bidness.
Horsefeathers!
N__B said,
October 1, 2009 at 21:17
I’m still waiting for my Philosopher King certificate…
Page: Sire! Sire! the peasants are revolting!
Philosopher King: The peasants are revolting? The peasants are disgusting.
Dr. Mr. actor212 said,
October 1, 2009 at 21:43
there’s a risk of humour w/ all this monkey bidness.
Horsefeathers!
Go West, young man…
slippy said,
October 1, 2009 at 22:01
What this teaches us is that conservatives are indeed stupid enough to get p4wn3d by one of their own, and are arrogant enough to avoid ever admitting that it’s happened.
It also teaches us that much of “mainstream” conservatism may be just a scam to fleece fools out of their money.
Dr. Johnny Pez said,
October 1, 2009 at 22:51
I wonder if Doctor Pizza was named after Ignatius Donnelly? It would be kind of awesome if he were.
Batocchio said,
October 1, 2009 at 23:51
Is that supposed to be hard? This “course” would be waaay overpriced and a dodgy scam even if it weren’t, but come on. And even Bob’s readers are skeptical about this “course.”
As for the closing pitch, I’m guessing Owens or Piazza thought “chest” didn’t sound “special ops” enough, and the metric system would confuse the marks.
Tehanu said,
October 2, 2009 at 3:12
J— said [October 1, 2009 at 16:05 ]
I guess this is as good a moment as ever. My real name is Dr. Emil Shuffhausen.
No roughhousin’, Shuffhausen! And thanks for reminding me of your existence.
J— said,
October 2, 2009 at 5:51
Come visit my clinic in Liechtenstein!
Smut Clyde said,
October 2, 2009 at 7:15
The ability to draw from a concealed holster and put a controlled pair of shots to the target’s thoracic cavity from 3-5 yards away, in less than 1.5 seconds.
Most pompous titty-fuck reference EVAH.
tigrismus said,
October 2, 2009 at 18:25
From 3-5 yards away? Too bad the 1.5 seconds bit keeps you from a lucrative career in the pr0n industry.
The Goddamn Dr. Batman Can Put Three Batarangs In A Dude's Chest In .00000000023478907 Seconds, But It's Nothing To Brag About said,
October 2, 2009 at 20:14
Bob sounds like the sort of fellow who would try to patent the Bass-O-Matic if he found out that there wasn’t a patent on the idea already. Also:
What sort of training does your firearm get? Fetching your slippers? Pooping in the toilet like a big boy? Putting two rednecks in a dude’s chest in 1.5 seconds?