Sep
21
21
Even Worse Than The Death Panels
ABOVE: Dan Riehl, c. 1785, Oil on canvas
by Joseph Siffred Duplessis
Shorter Dan Riehl, Poor Dan Riehl’s Almanack
Ack! World Car Day
- Obama is going to take away everyone’s car. This means that old people won’t be able to buy groceries anymore and will all starve to death.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
actor212 said,
September 21, 2009 at 22:23
Oh lord…how hard are they going to keep digging, now that they’ve trapped themselves in their own holes?
actor212 said,
September 21, 2009 at 22:25
I couldn’t resist. I just posted this at Riehl’s:
slippy said,
September 21, 2009 at 22:25
Fixx0red.
Rusty Shackleford said,
September 21, 2009 at 22:31
Hasbro or whoever the fuck ever needs to remake Masterpiece using Tintin’s illustrations.
Pryme said,
September 21, 2009 at 22:33
I think the guys are competing for best pic and/or shorter. They have to be.
Bitter Scribe said,
September 21, 2009 at 22:34
Can we have a World Asshole-Free Day?
M. Bouffant said,
September 21, 2009 at 22:42
B. S., I have been urging that for yrs., but what will we do w/ all the bodies?
TruculentandUnreliable said,
September 21, 2009 at 22:42
<i<Gee, Dan, that means you’d have to take public transportation more often, meaning more chances to beat up on pre-schoolers!
Oh, how I loled!
Also, from the article: “‘The car-free lifestyle itself requires other motorized vehicles, which deliver everything from organic flour to fair trade coffee.’”
Thanks, CEI! All this time, I thought my organic, gluten-free, vegan carob bars were shipped here via horse-and-buggy!
TruculentandUnreliable said,
September 21, 2009 at 22:42
HTML fail. Lo siento.
Pryme said,
September 21, 2009 at 22:45
Another thing: sometimes I don’t know where Sadly ends and Cracked begins.
Wyatt Watts III said,
September 21, 2009 at 22:49
Car-free day?
Good God, what will happen to Gary Numan?
Djur said,
September 21, 2009 at 22:53
Dan is afraid that you might make him ride the bus with a bunch of ‘technical thugs,’ who might hate crime his earholes by saying critical things about Republicans where he can hear it.
slippy said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:01
If you hate-crime the earholes of an asshole by saying things he doesn’t want to have in his brain-hole, where does that put you?
tigrismus said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:04
who might hate crime his earholes by saying critical things about Republicans where he can hear it.
That is awesome.
H. Rumbold, Master Barber said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:10
The NASCAR drivers would have to trot around the track going “VROOM VROOM”
justme said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:22
Yes, Dan, Row Row, Fight The Powah!
kate said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:24
Why don’t we have a National Bring Your Gas Guzzler on the Highway Day?
Then at the same line the median strip with Cheetohs and Twinkies.
We could offer bets on how many wingnuts would collide each minute.
pedestrian said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:25
Pastor Swank? Is that you?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:29
Good God, what will happen to Gary Numan?
No need to worry, Gary’s alread found an alternate means of transportation
Smut Clyde said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:30
Ack! World Car Day
Dan Riehl is about to cough up a furball.
MS said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:42
My comment there:
My wife and I are currently living in London for a few months. We have no car, and absolutely no need for one, although I can imagine that if we lived here permanently we might occasionally rent one for a day or two. Much that we need is accessible on foot: several grocery stores, some retail outlets, a bunch of restaurants (including several that deliver), a half dozen pubs, the local branch library, a gym, a barber shop, a beauty salon, a couple of newsstands, an internet cafe, an OTB (actually, we personally don’t need that, but it’s there) and more besides. And we are living in the far southern suburbs, not in central London.
We are not even a five minute walk from a tube (subway) station, which is also a bus hub (3 regular routes, including one that is in service 24/7, plus a night route). All of London is available by public transportation, 24 hours a day. While not cheap, public transportation in London is still much cheaper than maintaining a car, and much friendlier to the environment. And we usually get where we’re going faster, generally much faster, than we could in a car. Yes, we have to share the tube and the bus, and yes, if we travel during peak hours, we might have to stand, and yes, if we absolutely have to go somewhere at 2:00 am it’s a little complicated, and yes, occasionally there are people who are loud and express opinions we disagree with, but so freakin’ what? We’re adults, and we understand that all of life isn’t designed for our personal convenience, and that we share the planet with others who are actually just as important as we are, and that future generations who will look in disbelief and horror at the way we squandered the world’s resources. We own cars back in the US just because where we live it’s essentially impossible not to, but we use them as little as we can, walking, biking, or taking public transportation whenever possible. Maybe it costs us an hour or two a week in transportation time, but the exercise alone will probably add a couple of years to our lives, and in a small way it helps the world.
And finally, what do you imagine the elderly or handicapped do when they can no longer drive, and there is no reliable public transportation? And they live miles from the nearest grocery store, doctor, dentist, or barber? This happened to both my grandmothers (my grandfathers died young) and my wife’s grandparents. Fortunately there were relatives around to help them out, but not everyone is that lucky.
Crissa said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:43
It’s funny they’re complaining about this.
…It’s not like they linked to anything at all in the US about it, just the faux dateline.
Crissa said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:43
…Wait…
Do these guys get paid per trackback link, maybe?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:44
B. S., I have been urging that for yrs., but what will we do w/ all the bodies?
I might make a suggestion.
Crissa said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:45
PS, in my town there are carob trees on every street. So… You don’t have to walk far (not even as far as the corner store) to get a carob bar.
itwasntme said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:52
First tilting at the art windmill, next tilting at the traffic awareness windmill. They are just about at the bottom of the barrel now.
Substance McGravitas said,
September 21, 2009 at 23:59
Making kids feel ripped off is not a local industry to be proud of.
javafascist said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:02
I’ve been thinking that everyday for 8 years.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:03
The car culture is very much like conservative culture- it’s the illusion of freedom, accompanied by an increased dependence on, and subservience to, corporate overlords (put succinctly-freedumb!!!)
As an added bonus, reliance on public transportation forces one to interact with a wide cross-section of humanity, with the subsequent breaking of race/class/social barriers that are central to the wingnut Weltanschauung.
N__B said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:09
Can we have a World Asshole-Free Day?
A lot of people are gonna gain weight.
Durrrr said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:14
Traveling by public transportation is teh horrors for conservatives. A Repugnant “friend” of mine is constantly amazed that I can “lower myself” (not his words, exactly, but really, it’s what he’s thinking) to take a very excellent, cheap & easy bus to work most of the time. It’s rarely even crowded!
Like all good Repugs, he is secretly afraid that he might come in contact w/ “undesireables.” I’ll leave it up to you to define the term.
Per the post re living in London: here, here! I have spent substantial time there in the past, and it’s fantastic to live somewhere you don’t HAVE to have car to get around. I stayed often w/friends in Tooting Bec (south London), and it was pretty easy to get to most places I wanted to go. But yes, that did mean I had to come into some kind of “contact” with, shudder, shudder, “all sorts.”
Feh. Senior citizens would be much better served by having convenient, accessible public transportation. In case you aren’t aware (said ironically in comment to that dumb article), many seniors can no longer drive – or feel afraid to drive at night – and they are seriously constrained and hampered by having little to no access to public transportation.
Rusty Shackleford said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:14
In my city there are pine trees on every street so you don’t have to walk far to get Pine-Sol.
Substance McGravitas said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:17
In my city there are cedar trees on every street so you don’t have to walk far to get Passover.
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:22
I was thrown out of a carob bar for asking for a choco-latte.
M. Bouffant said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:30
Good one SubBub! Audible noises!
N__B said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:31
I just got home having taken the 2 train from the far north end of the Bronx to mid-Brooklyn. Seventy minutes for 30 incredibly congested miles that would have taken longer to drive. Sat and read Charlie Stross the whole time.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:37
I just got home having taken the 2 train from the far north end of the Bronx to mid-Brooklyn. Seventy minutes for 30 incredibly congested miles that would have taken longer to drive. Sat and read Charlie Stross the whole time.
Sounds like sheer hell.
Seriously, you can drive off wingnuts in a social setting by saying that.
Bitter Scribe said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:39
Can we have a World Asshole-Free Day?
A lot of people are gonna gain weight.
Not as many as you may think, considering how full of shit so many people are to start with.
N__B said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:40
Seriously, you can drive off wingnuts in a social setting by saying that.
I’ve got such a large arsenal of wingnut-only neutron bombs that I’ve stopped looking for new ones.
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:40
The plan for today is to say disparaging things about The Marble Index and get thrown out of the Nicobar.
PeeJ said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:42
Sat and read Charlie Stross the whole time.
That’s the problem with publickal transpormation. You run into catty, vicious bitches like N__B who taunt and mock at every turn.
Occasionally you run into Dan Riehl and can hatespeech him for bonus points.
Stag Party Palin said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:42
On my street we have acacia trees, so we don’t have to go anywhere to get anything. Acacia beer, acacia toilet paper, even acacia crabs.
Next street over they have Flaming Acacia. Don’t ask.
N__B said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:45
That’s the problem with publickal transpormation. You run into catty, vicious bitches like N__B who taunt and mock at every turn.
PeeJ, I do that pretty much everywhere, so don’t be hatin on the IRT.
PeeJ said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:45
Smut – are you back in NZ or still in Europe?
N__B said,
September 22, 2009 at 0:46
Speaking of catty, vicious bitches: http://xkcd.com/639/
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:00
Speaking of Dash: http://xkcd.com/634/
ckc (not kc) said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:12
I was always disappointed that Punnett squares contained NO PUNS!
Nom de Plume said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:14
Yes, we have to share the tube and the bus, and yes, if we travel during peak hours, we might have to stand, and yes, if we absolutely have to go somewhere at 2:00 am it’s a little complicated, and yes, occasionally there are people who are loud and express opinions we disagree with, but so freakin’ what?
That was a great comment, and I would have personally added that some of the scariest people I’ve ever sat next to were in first class on an airliner.
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:18
Get your own Learjet, loser!
OneMan said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:22
Can we have a World Asshole-Free Day?
A lot of people are gonna gain weight.
Not only that but I think there are enough cobags in the world already.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:22
I just got home having taken the 2 train from the far north end of the Bronx to mid-Brooklyn.
Where in the north Bronx were you? If I’d have known, I would’ve met you at Vernon’s New Jerk House on 233rd for lunch and a sorrel punch.
I can practically see the 2 train from my house.
roast beef kazenzakis said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:29
Good God, what will happen to Gary Numan?
No need to worry, Gary’s alread found an alternate means of transportation.
Well what will Davros do now that Gary Numan has stolen his Dalek chair?
Proteus454 said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:46
I’ve got such a large arsenal of wingnut-only neutron bombs that I’ve stopped looking for new ones.
I’m curious – share a few examples? (I could use such an arsenal myself, y’see~)
acrannymint said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:47
It helps if there is decent public transportation to begin with. When I worked in the Maryland burbs just outside of DC, I took the train to the metro (conveniently located across the street) for a couple of years. The problem was that the particular train line I took traveled on tracks owned by CSX which meant that the commuter trains ran for a few hours in the morning and a few hours in the afternoon. They were also terribly unreliable in poor weather. I made the smart decision one year of taking the Metro down to Union Station when work was closed due to a snow storm and caught my train at there. It was the only train out.
I can only compare that with growing up outside of NYC in New Jersey. The trains ran every hour on the hour for most of the day and 1/2 hour during rush hour. They also hooked up with the PATH station in Hoboken which made it easy to get into the City. Bus service was also very good.
Pere Ubu said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:51
In my city there are palmetto trees on every street so you don’t have to go far for… um… err… ummm…. a little hand job?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:52
Speaking of Orly:
Top that! (Orly probably will.)
~
Looch said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:56
Can we have a World Asshole-Free Day?
Hmm.
Huge reduction in freeway traffic, especially Suburban Assault Vehicles.
No apparent impact on mass transit ridership.
Increased freedom from Rand-reading buttholes bothering you in bars.
Huge, huge, huge decrease in Internet traffic.
Stubots collapse in on themselves.
Huge swaths of white space in newspapers across the country, especially in the Wapo and the Grey Lady.
Wall Street Journal evaporates into thin air.
Cheeto inventories skyrocket.
Spam plummets.
Trolls, what trolls?
Sadly, No! reduced to Tom Brady fanboy posts.
M. Bouffant said,
September 22, 2009 at 1:57
Are there “palmetto bugs” everywhere as well?
Orly Taitz DDS Esq. said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:01
Now that’s a nym, you leftist Obama-worshippers!!
Xecky Gilchrist said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:03
“‘The car-free lifestyle itself requires other motorized vehicles, which deliver everything from organic flour to fair trade coffee.’”
Everybody knows that if there’s any vehicle traffic at all, it’s just like if we were all driving 6 MPG poorly-tuned SUVs one person per.
Sigh.
Hey, Dan! I walk to work every day and my employer gives me free access to public transport – my car died two months ago and I don’t miss it at all! So you have to drive twice as far today to cancel me out.
Jennifer said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:05
If that painting had a word balloon, it would say “DUUUURRRRRRRRR!!!!!!”
RE: palmetto bugs – no such creature exists. What there is, is giant disgusting fucking FLYING ROACHES. Fricken’ roaches 3 INCHES LONG.
RE: B. S., I have been urging that for yrs., but what will we do w/ all the bodies?
Mulch.
PeeJ said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:06
Dangerous Deluded Skanky Esquort?
Arky - Geek God said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:06
Rush says Obama wants to steal the white man’s penis.
R’iehl fears Obama wants to car jack him.
To complete the fReichtard Trilogy of Terror [I See Brown People! Edition], we need someone to discover Obama’s plot to get high and rape all the white wimmins .
tigrismus said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:08
“‘The car-free lifestyle itself requires other motorized vehicles, which deliver everything from organic flour to fair trade coffee.’”
How does the food get to his grocery store, magic? Not a “car-free lifestyle” issue, then, is it?
purvis ames said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:20
O.T. Right now. Tom DeLay on Dancing With the Stars. It don”t get any better than this.
sagra said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:25
That’s odd. I thought the proper wingnut response was to drive 5x as much on Sept 22 and leave your car to idle in between trips. Have they lost their mojo?
Jennifer said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:28
OT: Top 10 Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time.
Major Kong said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:29
I just got home having taken the 2 train from the far north end of the Bronx to mid-Brooklyn. Seventy minutes for 30 incredibly congested miles that would have taken longer to drive.
I’m guessing maybe 2-3 hours to drive that in afternoon traffic?
When we went to New York City on vacation last summer we stayed on the Jersey side and took the bus into the Port Authority.
Gary Ruppert said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:30
The fact is, threatening to remove cars from USA is exactly the Hitler-like move I was expecting Obsama to do next. When can the heartland start impeachment?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:31
Where in the north Bronx were you? If I’d have known, I would’ve met you at Vernon’s New Jerk House on 233rd for lunch and a sorrel punch.
I’m there. Let’s say Jan 20th, 2010?
Pere Ubu said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:31
There are plenty of palmetto bugs.
Nobody has to walk anywhere to get those.
Nobody WANTS them.
Not even the cats will eat them. Cats are not stupid.
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:33
Orly Taitz DDS Esq. said,
Dentistry is Tlooth.
Looch said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:38
Tom DeLay on Dancing With the Stars.
This, also, would not be happening on World Asshole-Free Day.
noen said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:38
There are no “palmetto bugs” here in Minnesota. The 20 below winters with 40 below windchills sort of keeps them in check. But we also have Michelle Bachmann so I guess that evens it out.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:39
I thought the proper wingnut response was to drive 5x as much on Sept 22 and leave your car to idle in
between tripsthe garage.Fixx0red for great justice.
I’m there. Let’s say Jan 20th, 2010?
Maybe your can persuade the proprietor to make some jerk brains… ah, it’d be easier to just munch on Hannity’s cerebrum as a light snack.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:42
I thought Tlooth was a city in Minnesota!
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:43
In my city there are Phoenix palms on every street but people get dangerously agitated when you set fire to them to see if a new one sprouts from the seed.
Pere Ubu said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:43
But we also have Michelle Bachmann so I guess that evens it out.
We have palmetto bugs AND Jim DeMint.
Pity us.
Looch said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:47
We have palmetto bugs
ANDnamed Jim DeMint.And I still pity you.
noen said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:52
“I thought Tlooth was a city in Minnesota!”
It’s pronounced D’Lute. To imagine what living in Duluth would be like think of the hills of San Fransisco covered in ice fresh off lake Superior and dusted with enough light powdery snow to bring friction right down to zero. For four months. I love my state.
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:54
I thought Tlooth was a city in Minnesota!
Philistinean! A brief history of dentistry and surrealism:
(1) Tooth mosaic episode of Locus Solus.
(2) Tlooth.
(3) Rob Irwin’s Exquisite Corpse.*
(4) Orly Taitz.
* Honorary mention, on account of the readings from an unpublished novel about the adventures of a frontier dentist.
McTeague is not sufficiently surreal to qualify.
Pere Ubu said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:54
We have palmetto bugs named Jim DeMint.
That’s awfully harsh on the palmetto bugs, isn’t it?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:57
Awesome!
~
noen said,
September 22, 2009 at 2:58
In my city there are Ginkgo biloba trees on every street so we are well protected from free radicals.
Looch said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:01
That’s awfully harsh on the palmetto bugs, isn’t it?
Well, they stay away from the one named Demint. And tell the cats he’s a mouse.
Looch said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:02
It’s pronounced D’Lute.
So, were you a yoot in D’Lute?
kingubu said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:06
In my city there are Ginkgo biloba trees on every street
aka Chunderberries, and/or Horkenfruit. We have a couple trees in the courtyard of my building and damn those things smell like vomit.
Jennifer said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:07
ittdgy – did you check out the link to the next 10 most ridiculous pics? The #1 on that list has some dude rocking out with his cock out. Literally.
PENIS.
noen said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:09
I’m in the Minni Apple Looch. Surronded by dirty fuckin’ hippies, Somalian refugees and the Hmong who used to work for the CIA. “Grand Torino” was happening out in Blain!
I’ve only heard about D’Lute from friends who made the three day dog sled journey and managed to make it back alive losing only a couple of toes.
Jennifer said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:10
Oops. The Top 10 page doesn’t link to the Other Top Ten Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time.
PENIS.
Pere Ubu said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:11
and tell the cats he’s a mouse.
Nope, cats won’t go near him either.
Like I said, not stupid.
M. Bouffant said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:12
I know what “palmetto bugs” really are, that’s why I brought it up.
Some here in Calif. call them “water bugs,” but I know euphemism when I step on it.
Nights in Black Satin said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:12
Living without a car is an excellent way to loose weight. After my car threw a rod, I was afoot and abus/train for a couple of years. Lost 25 pounds in 3 months and didn’t gait it back.
I think its the idea of -oh nos- exercise that horrifies the conservapigs.
Jennifer said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:14
Pere Ubu – there’s this stuff called MaxForce granules that the giant flying roaches LOVE to eat. And it doesn’t kill them right away, so they go back to the nest and poop, and then when the baby roaches eat the poop (you did know this, didn’t you? Hmmm? Yes, baby roaches eat roach poop – lovely creatures) and then the babies die too. I still occassionally will get one that gets into the house, but I don’t even see too many of them outside since I started feeding them.
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:18
Oops. The Top 10 page doesn’t link to the Other Top Ten Most Ridiculous Black Metal Pics of All Time.
Jennifer’s link is ganked. All I could see was Mexican wrestlers.
Substance McGravitas said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:20
Listening to Manowar as I write.
Substance McGravitas said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:21
Or.
Gary Ruppert said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:22
The fact is, anti-car=anti-USA. It’s just like Hitler.
Jennifer said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:22
Manowar is so totally not gay.
Looch said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:23
All I could see was Mexican wrestlers.
Scroll to the bottom of her second link. Caption includes phrase “Rock out with your cock out,” or some such.
Dan would be mortified.
Looch said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:25
Manowar is so totally not gay.
Damn you, Jennifer.
tigrismus said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:25
Firefox refused to show many ANY ridiculous black metal pics, I had to open IE to see them. Firefox was right.
Looch said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:26
As in, I was just getting ready to type that…
Substance McGravitas said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:28
How come so many young boys like them then, huh? How about THAT?
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:29
Listening to Manowar as I write.
Not their cover version of YMCA?
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:30
How come so many young boys like them then, huh? How about THAT?
Young boys also like pr0n which is ALSO GAY.
Oregon Guy said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:36
In my town there are monkeypod trees on every street. So… You don’t have to walk far (not even as far as the corner store) to get a monkey.
And monkeys are DELICIOUS.
tigrismus said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:40
The #1 on that list has some dude rocking out with his cock out. Literally.
Organ concert: prelude and fugue state.
Looch said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:45
Organ concert: prelude and fugue state.
That’s excellent.
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:46
Preludin fugue state.
noen DDS Esq. said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:47
The pr0n on this thread is turning everyone gay!
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:49
Rock on with a sock on.
Looch said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:50
The pr0n on this thread is turning everyone gay!
Senator Co
burnbag’s aide was right!noen DDS Esq. said,
September 22, 2009 at 3:55
Touching youself is gay because it turns your sexaulty inside of you and that reminds me of men touching men and I think of teh gehy and I am SO NOT GAY.
N__B said,
September 22, 2009 at 4:01
Where in the north Bronx were you? If I’d have known, I would’ve met you at Vernon’s New Jerk House on 233rd for lunch and a sorrel punch.
Engine 63 – 233rd and Byron.
But I disapprove of cruelty to horses.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
September 22, 2009 at 4:08
@noen: Does anyone else remember http://www.sexisforfags.com?
N__B said,
September 22, 2009 at 4:12
I’ve got such a large arsenal of wingnut-only neutron bombs that I’ve stopped looking for new ones.
I’m curious – share a few examples? (I could use such an arsenal myself, y’see~)
Hmmm. Keep in mind that while I’m not huge, I’m pretty big and deliver these loud and, as appropriate, with faked rage. Making a scene always helps. My goal is most often to render further conversation impossible, so:
“Sure I’ll vote for your candidate. Just blow me here and now as a preview of his administration.”
“Why stop at bombing Iraq and Iran? We could be bombing the IRA, the IRS, and my uncle IRA.”
“CEO do deserve all that money. No fucking way I want to waste my time robbing the middle-class.”
“Socialized medicine is ridiculous.” Hawk and spit to the side. “And all this crap about germs? Who believes that?”
And the old standard, “Fuck you and your god.”
N__B said,
September 22, 2009 at 4:14
I’m guessing maybe 2-3 hours to drive that in afternoon traffic?
When we went to New York City on vacation last summer we stayed on the Jersey side and took the bus into the Port Authority.
Probably two hours. And a 50% increase in blood pressure.
I work all over the metro area and don’t drive, ever.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 22, 2009 at 4:16
Holey Sight-Meater, Batman!
~
Substance McGravitas said,
September 22, 2009 at 4:26
Inexplicably, people like setting scenes from 300 to Manowar songs. Why might that be?
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 4:32
Only a bad person would think about improving the large central O in the ManOwar logo with a couple of hands, goatse style.
Arky - Geek God said,
September 22, 2009 at 4:32
Just like a DFH to throw his rod down the throats of the RealAmuricun(TM) People. Liberals, hmph!
Substance McGravitas said,
September 22, 2009 at 4:34
Manowar’s anagram name is RAW MOAN.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 22, 2009 at 4:40
Why might that be?
HAIL!, totally not-gay fans of d00dz? in leather panties!
~
Iron Hymen said,
September 22, 2009 at 4:47
I got teeth too so watch it you fags.
Substance McGravitas said,
September 22, 2009 at 5:36
El Gato Negro’s video project continues.
Andy said,
September 22, 2009 at 5:43
“Manowar’s anagram name is RAW MOAN.”
AW, MORAN would also work.
Venom In Jar said,
September 22, 2009 at 5:58
Are we doing anagrams again?
PeeJ said,
September 22, 2009 at 6:11
Settle down everybody. Teh ghey doesn’t come from self-touching, pr0n watching or any of the other currently credentialicious RW memies.
I will admit, the Gay Mafia has gotten lax lately but everyone knows the only TRUE way to turn boys gay is RECRUIT RECRUIT RECRUIT.
It was fun while it lasted….
PeeJ said,
September 22, 2009 at 6:12
PS – ellipsis of the ominous variety….
SomeNYGuy said,
September 22, 2009 at 6:16
I know what caused Teh Ghey for me; it was hearing Shelley Fabares singing “Johnny Angel” on The Donna Reed Show.
pedestrian said,
September 22, 2009 at 6:17
I will admit, the Gay Mafia has gotten lax lately but everyone knows the only TRUE way to turn boys gay is RECRUIT RECRUIT RECRUIT.
Yeah, you sign up to pay your college tuition and next thing you know they’re pulling the backdoor draft on you.
PeeJ said,
September 22, 2009 at 6:17
Ninja Mover
A Mover Jinn
Jar Venom In
Jar Move Inn
Ma Over Jinn
Nope. Not at all.
PeeJ said,
September 22, 2009 at 6:18
Tee may toonis. G’night all.
tensor said,
September 22, 2009 at 7:03
the Gay Mafia has gotten lax lately…
I read that as “latex laxity”.
Ninja Mover said,
September 22, 2009 at 7:12
That’s a good one too. Decisions, decisions.
Wyatt Watts III said,
September 22, 2009 at 7:12
The pr0n on this thread is turning everyone gay!
It’s such a very short road from jizz hands to jazz hands.
Venom In Jar said,
September 22, 2009 at 7:16
Or jizz hinds, for that matter.
Smut Clyde said,
September 22, 2009 at 9:02
When all you have is a nail, everything looks like a hummer.
Enraged Bull Limpet said,
September 22, 2009 at 9:09
Whoaouch– could you at least desaturate the face a bit, ‘tin?
Enraged Bull Limpet said,
September 22, 2009 at 9:10
I should probably desaturate myself before making such intemperately impulsive comments.
kingubu said,
September 22, 2009 at 9:14
Sorry I’m late… Hey! How come this thread reeks of open ass and vanilla candles?
Enraged Bull Limpet said,
September 22, 2009 at 9:26
I should probably desaturate myself before launching impulsively intemperate comments. Off for a purgative sleep in about five mins…
itwasntme said,
September 22, 2009 at 9:28
Well, PeeJ has left already, so it doesn’t reek of marnoonies anymore.
jim said,
September 22, 2009 at 9:58
Hong Kong Phooie!
Enraged Bull Limpet said,
September 22, 2009 at 10:07
Pay to Playlin.
Sophist said,
September 22, 2009 at 10:25
Of course! Dan Riehl is Cathy! Suddenly all his stupid banality makes sense!
kingubu said,
September 22, 2009 at 12:17
If you’re low on Ipecac and need a quick replacement, there’s always Bobo Brooks’ reality-free mash note to Irving Kristol.
actor212 said,
September 22, 2009 at 14:57
Teh ghey doesn’t come from self-touching, pr0n watching or any of the other currently credentialicious RW memies.
Wait…I’m doin’ it rong?????
Xecky Gilchrist said,
September 22, 2009 at 17:35
everyone knows the only TRUE way to turn boys gay is RECRUIT RECRUIT RECRUIT.
That does work best, but don’t underestimate the power of soy milk.
actor212 said,
September 22, 2009 at 17:42
Why do I suddenly hear the song “In The Navy” as an earworm?