Sep
21

‘No Underlying Crime’ Comes Back In The Mail




Posted at 20:11 by Gavin M.


Above: Unfairica’s pout-rage

Patrick Courrielche, Big Hollywood:
EXPLOSIVE NEW AUDIO Reveals White House Using NEA to Push Partisan Agenda

  • This appearance of impropriety suggests not only an unequal bias against right-wing art, but also a Nazi enslavement plot. The only action that can restore the NEA’s credibility is to dance! [bang] Haw-haw-haw. Dance! [bang] Yeee-hoo, I say, Get down! [bang] Boogie-oogie-oogie! [bang]…

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

Word Corner: ‘Investigatainment.’

115 Comments »

  1. actor212 said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:12

    What is the sound of one hand fapping?

  2. Scott said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:19

    Right-wing art? Does that even exist?

  3. M. Emmet Walsh said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:20

    Investiga-awesome!

  4. PeeJ said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:22

    “And so I’m hoping that [...] the goal of this phone call, is through this group we can create a stronger community amongst ourselves to get involved in things we’re passionate about as we did during the campaign.

    It’s those fucking community organizers again! ACORN!!!!

    But to continue to get involved in those things, to support some of the President’s initiatives, but also to do things that we are passionate about and to push the President and push his administration…“

    Aw fuck it, it’s so full of fail I don’t know where to begin.

    Okay, one more citation: I find it hard to believe that the very intelligent meeting organizers would think that this pro-Obama arts group would produce bipartisan art…

    Bipartisan art. ‘Scuse me while I go out for a smoke and another cuppa; that boggled me some.

  5. Principal Blackman said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:23

    Right-wing art? Does that even exist?

    Only in the form of unintentional comedy.

  6. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:23

    Right-wing art? Does that even exist?

    Theoretically, Chris Muir counts.

  7. actor212 said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:23

    Okay, one more citation: I find it hard to believe that the very intelligent meeting organizers would think that this pro-Obama arts group would produce bipartisan art…

    Bipartisan art. ‘Scuse me while I go out for a smoke and another cuppa; that boggled me some.

    Hey! Art by committee! I bet that turns out to be real gooder art!

  8. actor212 said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:24

    Theoretically, Chris Muir counts.

    Only to ten, Sub.

  9. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:33

    Were there artists on the call that would create imagery extolling the benefits of offshore drilling? Were there any musicians who’d drop an electro dance anthem warning of the Road to Serfdom that awaits us if we let government create universal health care? Or how about artists that would wheat paste posters throughout urban areas, featuring a miner named Cole entirely sanitized, sitting in a clean room with the subtitle “Clean Coal.”

    Or what about an artist painting a picture of an angel holding a kitten, and the kitten is holding up a sign that says “ACORNsocialistNAZIgrandmaKILLERblackman”?

  10. Paul T. Lazaro said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:38

    Right-wing art? Does that even exist?

    Behold

  11. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:40

    Behold

    Squinting…squinting…squinting…

  12. actor212 said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:41

    That’s Thomas Kinkaide. That’s art like the Mets play baseball.

  13. Paul T. Lazaro said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:41

    Link Fail. “Thomas Fucking Kincaid…The Painter of Douche” was what I was trying direct you to. You know: idealized, sugary, sentimental “paintings” of a place that never was.

  14. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:42

    I thought the Right-wing was performance art.

  15. tigrismus said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:44

    In re Wyatt III’s block quote, holy crap, even their theoretical right-wing art sucks. Oh for the days of fascists with talent, like Ezra Pound or Leni Riefenstahl.

  16. Citizen_X said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:47

    I prefer “investibate”

  17. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:53

    tl; dr.

    But really, I thought the NEA was the product of an unholy threesome between Stalin, Satan, and Robert Mapplethorpe’s dead corpse. Why do these people give a shit what the communications director of something they don’t even want to exist says on a conference call to a bunch of dirty hippies?

  18. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:54

    tigrismus, I think the idea of a miner named Cole entirely sanitized, sitting in a clean room with the subtitle “Clean Coal” comes from John Dos Passos, in his later, conservative years. Also, that electro dance anthem.

  19. cowalker said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:56

    So, did the Bush administration have painters that painted scenes depicting the future horrors of global warming or musicians who wrote ditties about the joy of universal health care? Surely the notoriously bipartisan Bush administration subsidized artists who glorified the opposite of their policies.

  20. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 21, 2009 at 20:58

    Why do these people give a shit what the communications director of something they don’t even want to exist says on a conference call to a bunch of dirty hippies?

    See also public transit in Washington DC.

  21. actor212 said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:00

    Surely the notoriously bipartisan Bush administration subsidized artists who glorified the opposite of their policies.

    Why, yes, indeedy!

  22. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:02

    Why do these people give a shit what the communications director of something they don’t even want to exist says on a conference call to a bunch of dirty hippies?

    Being a wingnut is like being eternally stoned, in that everything has an intense and obsessive significance.

    Essentially, “this obscure conference call to the NEA is a major outrage” is equivalent to “hey, wow, man, have you ever really noticed your hand?”

  23. Rusty Shackleford said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:09

    Technically, Chris Muir is fail.

  24. justme said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:12

    That’s art like the Mets play baseball.

    So he did a nice painting once? In 1969?

  25. Matt T. said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:13

    Being a wingnut is like being eternally stoned,

    Good gravy, I certainly hope not.

  26. Citizen_X said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:15

    Were there artists on the call that would create imagery extolling the benefits of offshore drilling?

    And this would be more exciitng or interesting than Stalinist-era “socialist realism” extolling the virtues of increased tractor production, the 1937 Ukrainian beet harvest, etc., exactly how?

    This has been another in the neverending series, “Wingnuts Becoming What They Hate.”

  27. actor212 said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:16

    So he did a nice painting once? In 1969?

    Also 1986, but had some adequate paintings in 2000 and 1973.

  28. justme said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:18

    OT but fun, via, of all places, the seemingly-emerging-from-wingnuttia LGF.

  29. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:21

    Were there artists on the call that would create imagery extolling the benefits of offshore drilling?

    Here.

  30. Loneoak said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:23

    I have to concur that Thomas Kinkade, “The Painter of Douce”, is truly a rightwing artist. This is can be objectively proved:

    1) His business plan consists of overhyped marketing and ripping off franchise owners.

    2) He has a face mullet.

  31. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:27

    For a moment I was gonna go all concern troll and mention that it’s pretty good if artists say “fuck you” when a president wants something from them but I read the transcript they’re squawking about and there’s really nothing more there than pitching volunteer work to the arts community, the same way volunteer work is getting pitched to everyone else.

  32. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:30

    Wait, I totally thought Thomas Kinkade was dead! He’s only 51???? Sweet Jesus.

  33. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:32

    Being a wingnut is like being eternally stoned, in that everything has an intense and obsessive significance.

    Also, you are slow, dumb, and constantly eating Cheetos.

    Doesn’t the outrage get old? I’m a pretty bitter and angry person, but Christ, I can’t keep up with the outrage. It makes me tired.

  34. vacuumslayer said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:34

    Thomas Kinkade is the painter of light shit!

    It’s great right-wing art…because it’s tasteless and smarmy. I bet a lot of right-wingers collect Hummel figurines too.

  35. tigrismus said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:35

    Wait, I totally thought Thomas Kinkade was dead!

    Only from the neck up.

  36. vacuumslayer said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:36

    BTW, I tried to make it through that article, but couldn’t. I kept searching for some salacious detail, but couldn’t find one. What, exactly, is baldy going on about?

  37. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:36

    OT but fun, via, of all places, the seemingly-emerging-from-wingnuttia LGF.
    If only those cops had used their tasers on some of those teabaggers. Might have at least changed their minds on torture.

  38. tigrismus said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:42

    I actually like the Geo Washington “Viva la Revolucion!” pic on Sirius Lunacy’s link, it’s clever and pretty nicely done. The “what would the founding fathers do/taxation without representation” one is to laugh, though. Dude, just because the guy you voted for lost doesn’t mean you don’t have an elected representative. Oh well, maybe if folks buy his poster he’ll be able to afford a clue.

  39. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:46

    Wait, I totally thought Thomas Kinkade was dead!

    He is, though secretly, and much like you could tell “Paul is Dead” because he was barefoot on the Abbey Road cover, you can tell Thomas Kinkade is dead from clues in this picture.

  40. actor212 said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:51

    you can tell Thomas Kinkade is dead from clues in this picture.

    Wow! The snowman is facing the house which, as we all know from studying Icelandic eddas and rune stones, means the artist has died!

  41. Marion in Savannah said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:52

    No, no… The sled leaning against the fence means it’s the artist’s maternal grandmother who has died.

  42. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:56

    Don’t be confused by the wreath on the lamppost. Though a wreath is often placed on the door of a deceased person’s home, in this case, the wreath only implies that another lamppost has died and that this lamppost is grieving.

    There are other clues that suggest “Kinkade is Dead.”

  43. actor212 said,

    September 21, 2009 at 21:59

    There are other clues that suggest “Kinkade is Dead.”

    Oh, of course! The big white bird, which is a crane, which in ancient Egyptian mythology stood for the soul of a bad artist or thief being taken to Hades…

  44. zzx said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:00

    Is this what George Will was going on about in my lo cal paper today? The column started with something about the NEA and a conference call, but it quickly drifted off into a lot of blah blah about how art can be anything people say it is and it was so much better in 15th Century Florence. Even for Will it was incomprehensible.

  45. vacuumslayer said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:01

    Well. It looks to me like you all are acknowledging that Kinkade is deeper than we all thought. I’m glad you’re big enough to admit it.

  46. 77south said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:01

    Wait. I thought the sled meant Citizen Kane was dead?

  47. MarkusR said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:02

    “Investigate” already contains the word “gate”. Coincidence? I think not.

  48. slippy said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:11

    He is, though secretly, and much like you could tell “Paul is Dead” because he was barefoot on the Abbey Road cover, you can tell Thomas Kinkade is dead from clues in this picture.

    In Dante’s Inferno, the souls of people who were particularly vile sinners were immediately sucked down into Hell and their bodies were thereafter inhabited by demons. Dante probably did this because he wanted to heap some political derision on the heads of contemporaries of his whom he thought particularly revolting, but as a side-effect he introduced the concept of possession . . . and I’m guessing that in the artists’ Inferno, Kinkade’s soul immediately descended to Hell when he started selling his soul-less kitchy bullshit mass-market style.

    Anyway, conservatives have no art because you have to be passionate about something beautiful to create art, and conservatives only know how to celebrate (or even recognize) the ugly, mean, and small-minded traits of humanity.

  49. vacuumslayer said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:14

    Anyway, conservatives have no art because you have to be passionate about something beautiful to create art, and conservatives only know how to celebrate (or even recognize) the ugly, mean, and small-minded traits of humanity.

    I just wanted to read it again.

  50. actor212 said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:17

    Anyway, conservatives have no art because you have to be passionate about something beautiful to create art, and conservatives only know how to celebrate (or even recognize) the ugly, mean, and small-minded traits of humanity.

    Like the black velvet “Dogs Playing Poker”.

  51. mingo said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:19

    kinkade is also, as evinced by some of the “books” he’s “written”, is “The Writer of Dreck”. I did not read any of his “books”, but this was the phrase bestowed upon his “literary” efforts by a Salon reviewer years ago. was a v. funny review. might even still be around, if anyone wants to look.

    I have always been struck by the imminent peril his sugary little houses stood in, by one decent-sized rainfall upstream.

  52. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:21

    Well. It looks to me like you all are acknowledging that Kinkade is deeper than we all thought.

    Six feet deeper.

  53. vacuumslayer said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:22

    Like the black velvet “Dogs Playing Poker”.

    Wait. Are you saying Dogs Playing Poker is good art or bad art? I will glove-slap anyone who doesn’t understand the value of a good velvet painting!

  54. actor212 said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:22

    I will glove-slap anyone who doesn’t understand the value of a good velvet painting!

    I’m saying it’s good conservative art, right down to the two cheating dogs.

  55. vacuumslayer said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:23

    kinkade is also, as evinced by some of the “books” he’s “written”, is “The Writer of Dreck”

    He…wrote? *gulp*

  56. mingo said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:24


    He…wrote? *gulp*

    nonono… he “wrote”.

    I think actually other people “wrote” his “books”.

  57. vacuumslayer said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:24

    I’m saying it’s good conservative art, right down to the two cheating dogs.

    Well, I’m offended. It’s clear you don’t know good art when you see it. Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!

  58. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:25

    Anyway, conservatives have no art because you have to be passionate about something beautiful to create art, and conservatives only know how to celebrate (or even recognize) the ugly, mean, and small-minded traits of humanity.

    Yeah, and the best art always pushes against the status quo, breaks barriers, etc, etc…which is, of course, the opposite of what conservatives do.

  59. mingo said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:26

    conservative art… don’t forget DeGrazia.

  60. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:27

    The fact that Kinkade is a published “author” and the fact that I will have to spend another thirty years sharing the planet with him proves that there is no God.

  61. tigrismus said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:27

    as a side-effect he introduced the concept of possession

    It’s older than Dante’s time: there are several examples of Jesus driving out possessing demons in the NT.

  62. Rusty Shackleford said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:29

    Chapter 1

    Snow fell gently on the quaint cottage by the stream, as those within lit warm fires for the evening.

    The End

  63. PeeJ said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:34

    First, this is for you, slayer.

    Also, every time I’ve seen a KinkAIIEAIAIEEd – until now – I attributed it to Bob “There we go, that’s a happy sky” Ross.

  64. M. Bouffant said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:35

    Where, oh where are the conservative artists? Where is the Norman Rockwell of our time? Can no one stand athwart art, yelling: “Conservative art & reactionary values for all time!”

    It is so not fair that people w/ talent always lean left. Why is that?

    If we can frighten the Obama administration into subsidizing cultural employment for Breitbart’s talent-free pals (Andrew’s probably tired of hosting salons in his basement where the attendees do nothing but whine about not being able to get a gig because they’re all such righteous conservatives) we can turn this country around, because all the kids playing video games & going to summer block-buster explodo-fests have been turned into libs by movies that aren’t jingoistic enough.

    As an example of how cutting-edge Breitbart is, instead of the “Red Scare” ’50s nostalgia much of the right’s pushing, he’s managed to bring the debate all the way to the glory days of the ’80s & ’90s & the NEA! Cutting-edge for a reactionary.

    Quoth the Beeb:

    With their confident demeanour and “Take Back America in 2010″ bumper stickers, the forces of Christian conservatism seem anything but marginalised.

    It is certainly true that the boldness of the Obama agenda has rekindled their passion, and Vin Weber believes that if national security and the economy move away from centre stage, then the “values agenda” will once again reassert itself

    Note to Breitbart: While waiting for the economy to improve & the islamo-fascists to disappear so you can get attention for your culture war, you could try a career promoting ’80s band tours.

  65. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:36

    Snow fell gently on the quaint cottage by the stream, as those within lit warm fires for the evening.

    Snow represents winter, which symbolizes death. The stream is obviously meant to be a stand-in for the River Styx. The “warm fires” a sign of cremation.

    Kinkade is Dead.

  66. Smut Clyde said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:48

    Is this conservative art?

  67. mingo said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:50

    found the review.

    http://dir.salon.com/books/feature/2002/03/18/light/index.html

  68. slippy said,

    September 21, 2009 at 22:58

    Vin Weber believes that if national security and the economy move away from centre stage, then the “values agenda” will once again reassert itself

    So Conservatives used to have the Serious and Sober position on the economy (e.g., “we’re solid business-folk”) but pissed that away during the Reagan years with whackjob tax cuts and out-of-control spending (see $15,000 hammers). They used to have a hammerlock on Serious and Sober National Security, but pissed that away during the Bush II years with whackjob war-mongering, tax cuts, Iraq, Afghanistan, don’t forget the massive security failure of 9/11.

    Now they think they’re Serious and Sober on “values.” But I suspect if they try to re-assert themselves on that platform they’re going to run into a few obstacles. The row of hurdles between them and having a shred of credibility on this issue will look a little bit like this:

    David Vitter
    Larry Craig
    Mark Foley
    Mark Sanford
    John Ensign
    Paul Stanley
    Vito Fossella
    Ted Haggard
    Dr. W. David Hager
    Bobby Stumbo
    Jack Ryan
    Jeff Gannon
    Rush Limbaugh
    Henry Hyde

    etcetera . . . .

  69. Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:06

    OT (because I haven’t had enough sleep to think of anything clever to say, as if I ever did when I was well-rested): The Daily Dash.

  70. Hoosier X said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:10

    So he did a nice painting once? In 1969?

    Also 1986, but had some adequate paintings in 2000 and 1973.

    I’m dubious. It sounds like someone is being awful generous to Chris Muir.

  71. tigrismus said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:10

    Hee hee, look at the wrinkled brow! He looks perplexed. Such a cutie!

  72. Vacuumslayer said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:10

    Smut Clyde said,
    September 21, 2009 at 22:48

    Is this conservative art?

    On my cell I mistook that picture for a piece of actual shit.
    Then I realized it was a dramatic gopher…which makes it a masterpiece.

  73. Smut Clyde said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:19

    The Daily Dash.
    Looks suspiciously similar to the Dramatic Gopher. I call shenanigans.

  74. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:23

    Taken with a Canon EOS Digital Rebel XT.

    FUCK YEAH! SMASH THE STATE!

  75. Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:24

    Looks suspiciously similar to the Dramatic Gopher. I call shenanigans.

    SHUT UP SMUT!

  76. Smut Clyde said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:37

    Hee hee, look at the wrinkled brow! He looks perplexed. Such a cutie!
    Wait, wait. Do you mean young Dash, or Patrick Courrielche?
    The latter is indeed cute but I think he needs burping. His appearance would also benefit if someone drew little hearts and flowers on his scalp with a felt pen.
    Admittedly, that is equally true for many of us.

  77. kate said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:49

    the President has a clear arts agenda

    Who in the hell woke up Jesse Helms? Will someone put him back in his hole? Or possibly cremate him this time?

    As for Kinkade, I had read somewhere that he’s a wingnut conservative on a very high level. His public downfall was when he fell off a barstool, stone drunk, after having no success in pawing a woman sitting next to him.

    But his prints often had religious verses written under them, I guess that gave him some moral bank.

  78. tigrismus said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:56

    I meant Dash, as Courrielche’s brow is smooth all the way to the nape.

  79. Stag Party Palin said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:57

    “… you can tell Thomas Kinkade is dead from clues in this picture.”

    Aha! It’s the Turkey Vulture there in the sky – unmistakable v-wing in the glide. Double deadly because you;d never find one in the snow – must be a really impatient vulture by now.

    BTW, in my second career as a person who goes to expensive parties on someone else’s dime, I was at the California Club here in Lala land and back in one of the dusty corridors among some rather nice art were two original pre-douche Kinkcade landscapes. By P.D. They looked, as they do now, as if they were rather good paint-by-number efforts, but without the radioactive glow and kitschy composition we all love. They must be worth a fucking fortune.

  80. Stag Party Palin said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:58

    aargh – “Kinkade” and By P.D.

  81. N__B said,

    September 21, 2009 at 23:59

    a miner named Cole entirely sanitized, sitting in a clean room with the subtitle “Clean Coal”

    Phebe Snow is whirling dervishly in her imaginary grave.

  82. tigrismus said,

    September 22, 2009 at 0:05

    Maybe Phoebe can give him some two-fisted “love.”

  83. N__B said,

    September 22, 2009 at 0:09

    Maybe Phoebe can give him some two-fisted “love.”

    I hate admitting to being so sexually inexperienced, but where does the second fist go?

  84. M. Bouffant said,

    September 22, 2009 at 0:14

    the wrinkled brow! He looks perplexed

    As in the previous image posted w/ finger on temple (or cheek) there seems to be a lot of cogitating going on w/ this one. (Already plotting his escape?)

    LDMM, is he noisy, calm, or do you not quite have a grip on his basic nature yet?

  85. tigrismus said,

    September 22, 2009 at 0:15

    Actually, I was imagining her using him as a punching bag, but your ideas intrigue me and I would consider subscribing to a newsletter, should you begin publishing one.

  86. M. Bouffant said,

    September 22, 2009 at 0:20

    Jeezis, the California Club? That’s the local office of the Bilderberger/Illuminati/Masonic Axis. Hope you showered well.

  87. Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,

    September 22, 2009 at 0:21

    LDMM, is he noisy, calm, or do you not quite have a grip on his basic nature yet?

    He’s pretty calm, other than a few situations he doesn’t care for just yet, such as baths. And nurses. He doesn’t like nurses. He does have an impressive set of lungs on him, when he does want to object to something.

    He hasn’t been very fussy so far though – mostly just a sweet little cuddler.

  88. Durrrr said,

    September 22, 2009 at 0:27

    Everyone here appears competely brainwashed by the incessant uulating of the whining contards! It is enough to give us all serious brain flatulence.

    Egad, how is it y’all know so much about Thomas Kincaid? To say he’s mediocre is being extremely gracious. But I vote for the velvet cheating poker dog paintings… not sure what I’m voting for, but I’m voting. arf arf

  89. N__B said,

    September 22, 2009 at 0:28

    I would consider subscribing to a newsletter, should you begin publishing one.

    I will soon, but only until I can sell it to Rupert Murdoch so that he can turn it into a suppurating wound on the body politic.

  90. SomeNYGuy said,

    September 22, 2009 at 0:34

    The column started with something about the NEA and a conference call, but it quickly drifted off into a lot of blah blah about how art can be anything people say it is and it was so much better in 15th Century Florence.

    “15th Century Florence” is George Will’s drag name.

  91. Stag Party Palin said,

    September 22, 2009 at 0:34

    MB, I’ll have you know that my great grandfather was a member of the California Club. That was back when ‘founding fathers’ actually meant something. Me, I’m a Marxist*.

    * I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.

  92. Smut Clyde said,

    September 22, 2009 at 0:36

    the previous image posted w/ finger on temple (or cheek) there seems to be a lot of cogitating going on w/ this one.
    Why must I be surrounded by frickin’ idiots?

  93. tigrismus said,

    September 22, 2009 at 1:04

    I thought they didn’t start thinking like that until their teen years?

  94. MzNicky said,

    September 22, 2009 at 1:12

    LDMM: Thanks for the Daily Dash. His eyes! They are open! HE’S SO CUTE.

    Don’t worry, once he gets to be maybe 3-6 months old you’ll get some sleep again. Then in the far distant future he’ll turn 14 and you won’t sleep again for about 5 years.

  95. sagra said,

    September 22, 2009 at 1:40

    “Right-wing art? Does that even exist?”

    Waving American Flag + Eagle + Dallas Cowboys + Jesus + Fighter Jets + Marines in dress uniforms + Weeping terrorist attack victims + Cross + White family praying + Twin Towers + Map of America + Race cars + Rays of Sunlight through the clouds + Soldiers in BDUs handing bibles to an ignorant brown people = Wingnut Masterpiece!

  96. MzNicky said,

    September 22, 2009 at 1:51

    justme’s O/T@21:28: Now that guy’s a brave soul.

    Ten years from now, those teabag-tards will be held in the same low esteem with which we now regard the race-tards who screamed at little black children entering newly-integrated schools in Alabama in the 60s.

  97. Ezzthetic said,

    September 22, 2009 at 3:30

    EXPLOSIVE NEW AUDIO

    Damn, just for a moment, I thought Big Audio Dynamite had reformed.

  98. Brandi said,

    September 22, 2009 at 3:44

    Where, oh where are the conservative artists? Where is the Norman Rockwell of our time?

    I imagine the conservatives of his time disowned him after The Problem We All Live With– though it’s possible that with common wingnut “thinking” they assumed the titular problem was the child herself.

  99. Paul T. Lazaro said,

    September 22, 2009 at 3:50

    Don’t say “titular.”

  100. Vacuumslayer said,

    September 22, 2009 at 4:27

    aving American Flag + Eagle + Dallas Cowboys + Jesus + Fighter Jets + Marines in dress uniforms + Weeping terrorist attack victims + Cross + White family praying + Twin Towers + Map of America + Race cars + Rays of Sunlight through the clouds + Soldiers in BDUs handing bibles to an ignorant brown people = Wingnut Masterpiece

    No hint necessary; working on it now. You’re welcome.

  101. C*B said,

    September 22, 2009 at 5:27

    I remember when this site was funny – now it is just cynical. Govt juicing artists to paint the government messages — no problems with that here at the funny site. Pimping the govt to keep kids doing tricks — yeah, that’s funny, too. None of these comments are really funny, or meant to be; they’re just cynicism dressed up like a joke. They are “we can’t be shocked — but it’s funny that you still can be” jokes. That’s funny.

  102. Pale Celery said,

    September 22, 2009 at 5:52

    Didn’t Breitbart himself do some performance art on a restaurant balcony protesting the feeding of starving children?

    That was certainly out there.

  103. jim said,

    September 22, 2009 at 6:34

    Now, if the person on the phone had said “make art that supports Obama or it’s the Death Panels for you” there’d be a noteworthy story here … if Obama’s Organic Fair-Trade Death Panels™ were anything more than a feverish meat-dream cooked up by that smiling twit with the five-pound binder who made a fool of herself on the Daily Show.

    C*B said,

    September 22, 2009 at 5:27

    Government encouraging artists funded by the government to support it with their talent is “juicing” them? We’re not funny anymore – & that’s funny?

    Actually, I’m regularly shocked that anyone can say shit this stupid with a straight face. Well, at least until someone figures out what they’re putting in the water & comes up with an antidote.

    Asterisk-troll writes like Kincade paints.

  104. Venom In Jar said,

    September 22, 2009 at 7:07

    Speaking of right-wing art, I wonder what Al Capp would think if he were here today? He may have been a reactionary asshole, but I can’t help thinking he would have been too gifted, funny, and irreverent not to take potshots at today’s “conservatives”. If nothing else, the drafting “talents” of Tinsley, Muir, et al might be enough to push a genuine craftsman like him to the other side of the aisle.

  105. Venom In Jar said,

    September 22, 2009 at 7:09

    Didn’t Breitbart himself do some performance art on a restaurant balcony protesting the feeding of starving children?

    A tantrum in response to a protest against child conscription in Africa, to be exact.

  106. Smut Clyde said,

    September 22, 2009 at 9:24

    “15th Century Florence” is George Will’s drag name.
    That was funny, beyond question.

  107. jasperjava said,

    September 22, 2009 at 9:39

    Where, oh where are the conservative artists? Where is the Norman Rockwell of our time?

    The painter of Southern Justice (Murder in Mississippi) is no conservative.

    George Lincoln Rockwell, however, that’s another story.

  108. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    September 22, 2009 at 9:55

    Goddam, Moby ain’t germane to any of this!

  109. vacuumslayer said,

    September 22, 2009 at 13:23

    “15th Century Florence” is George Will’s drag name.
    That was funny, beyond question.

    That one made me laugh, I admit it. But I just wonder if any self-respecting drag queen can get away with wearing a bow-tie.

  110. Ezzthetic said,

    September 22, 2009 at 14:05

    Who ever said Moby was German?

  111. tc said,

    September 22, 2009 at 14:57

    I swear, straight from Wikipedia:

    In 2006 John Dandois, Media Arts Group executive, recounted a story that on one occasion (“about six years ago”) Kinkade became drunk at a Siegfried and Roy magic show in Las Vegas and began shouting “Codpiece! Codpiece!” at the performers. Eventually he was calmed by his mother.

  112. actor212 said,

    September 22, 2009 at 14:58

    MB, I’ll have you know that my great grandfather was a member of the California Club.

    That substitutes avocado for lettuce, right?

  113. TruculentandUnreliable said,

    September 22, 2009 at 16:19

    In 2006 John Dandois, Media Arts Group executive, recounted a story that on one occasion (”about six years ago”) Kinkade became drunk at a Siegfried and Roy magic show in Las Vegas and began shouting “Codpiece! Codpiece!” at the performers. Eventually he was calmed by his mother.

    Is it wrong that this makes me hate him a little less?

  114. another jim said,

    September 22, 2009 at 17:23

    “He is, though secretly, and much like you could tell “Paul is Dead” because he was barefoot on the Abbey Road cover, you can tell Thomas Kinkade is dead from clues in this picture.

    When that picture is looked at with an eye for murder clues, even as a joke – that picture becomes one of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen.

  115. Smut Clyde said,

    September 22, 2009 at 23:49

    What are they burning in the fire-place?!
    I for one welcome the idea of a Kinkade / Wen Craven collaboration.

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