Comments on: The One You Got From Your “Masseuse” Doesn’t Count

By: JadedOptimist

JadedOptimist — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:17:01 +0000

Let’s see… I’ve been to one of those fancy protests on the Mall before, and a couple of Presidential inaugurals. I must have been unemployed at those times, because I’m sure Glenn Beck wouldn’t like. Hmmm….

stock footage of calendar pages fluttering to the floor… It is 1987… fade to NotQuiteAsJadedYetOptimist in the lunchroom of the Catholic School where he works. Sister Mary Chevy joins him…

Sister MC: So where are you going on your vacation?
Me: Ummmm…. back East, Sister. Nothing special.

cut to shot of the Capitol. A couple hundred thousand gay men and lesbians are there for the second March on Washington for LGBT rights, including NotQuiteAsJadedYetOptimist

Huh, guess I was employed. Well, by ’93, surely…

more fluttering calendar pages… VeryJadedOptimist enters his office wearing an obnoxiously huge “Presidential Inaugural 1993 William Jefferson Clinton Albert V. Gore Jr” button

Secretary: Welcome back! How was the Inaugural?
Me: Awesome!

Huh. Well, surely by the NEXT trip my natural Liebrul laziness and ineptitude meant that I was unemployed and had nothing better to do, right?

a couple more damn calendar pages flutter to the floor. the floor is now a mess with 22 years worth of calendar pages

Co-worker: Management is setting up a big screen TV in the Boardroom so we can watch Obama’s inaugural live. Isn’t that cool?

Me: Yeah – be sure to look for me in the parade! Gotta head to the airport now, bye!

cut to shot of the crowd on the Mall on January 21, 2009. Zoom in on… yeah, right. Like you can pick one person out of a crowd of 2,000,000…

OMG… Does this mean I’m really a conservative?!?!?!

By: mary b

mary b — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:38:16 +0000

If the Clapp moved to TN from CT, then he deserves to be here.
I am also from Ct, but am stuck here in TN because there are NO fucking jobs! If I could get a job, unlike the ones I’ve had here that pay barely over minimum wage, I would go back to CT in a heartbeat.
This hell hole is filled with 9/12er’s. I fucking hate it here!
Can you start a fund for me or find a rich donor so me and my kids can go home?

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 19:37:22 +0000

my favorite piccy is the one showing a plate full, with “The Sneeze” as an imprint. Or a title.

Don’t worry, I checked the ingredients before I tasted it. “Smoker’s lung” was not on there.

Whatever scorn I heap on these clowns
The Goddamn Batman is a veritable scornucopia.

By: Susan of Texas

Susan of Texas — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:32:17 +0000

But that FreedomWorks thing, that’s kind of like having a job!

Fuckin’ community organizing, that is.

If your community is standing on a street corner in high heels and a tube top.

By: Mr. Wonderful

Mr. Wonderful — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:18:08 +0000

NPR had a piece about that corn rot about two weeks ago. You’ll notice it was JUST AUDIO. God forbid they should show us what the stuff looks like.

By: Susan of Texas

Susan of Texas — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 16:07:55 +0000

an unemployed marketing representative who recently moved to Tennessee from Connecticut after losing his job

You know what happens when the North becomes unemployed? They move South. Thanks a freaking lot, guys. Like we don’t already have enough crazies. They figure that at least they won’t freeze to death in the winter, although by July they’re wishing they had.

And the only thing we can do about it is steal their U-Haul full of all their earthly possesions while they’re parked at Kountry Kitchen eating lunch, which is what my fellow Texans did in the 1980s.

By: The Goddamn Batman Lives A Life Of Leisure, If By "Leisure" You Mean "Honing Himself Into An Unstoppable Crimefighting Machine"

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:16:46 +0000

Whatever scorn I heap on these clowns tends to pale when I consider what it must be like to be a 45-year-old unemployed “marketing representative” in Tennessee. Willy Loman, meet William Faulkner. I don’t think that Barney Frank is quaking in his loafers because you’re out wandering around the Mall.

By: Alleen

Alleen — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:02:32 +0000

Wait, not THE Keldon Clapp?

http://blogs.courant.com/capitol_watch/2009/09/connecticut-budget-solitaire-photo.html

“By Keldon Clapp on September 2, 2009 11:46 AM
Ha Ha! Those slugs at the state house are exzctly the reason why I moved to Tennessee. Good luck and good ridence.”

He hated the Connecticut legislators who played Solitaire while a GOP leg. was speaking. He would prefer that they shout “YOU LIE!”

By: actor212

actor212 — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:33:11 +0000

I likes me some huitlachoche, BTW……

Errrrrr, and a coocoo cachoo to you, sir…

By: zombie rotten mcdonald

zombie rotten mcdonald — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:58:40 +0000

More like Ten Thousand Maniacs.

I thought Natalie Merchant was a flamin liberal.

By: zombie rotten mcdonald

zombie rotten mcdonald — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:57:50 +0000

Smut Clyde? Or Smut Corn? Irresponsible nott to speculate. In any case, damn him all to hell. Get up five minutes earlier this morning, and he would have been pwned by zombie.

By: zombie rotten mcdonald

zombie rotten mcdonald — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:56:46 +0000

Some dispute the edibility of smut corn:

http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000344.php

my favorite piccy is the one showing a plate full, with “The Sneeze” as an imprint. Or a title.

By: RvB

RvB — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:51:01 +0000

2 million teabaggers? More like Ten Thousand Maniacs.

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 10:28:10 +0000

I’ve been jonesing to try huitlacoche for years, but haven’t had an opportunity to sample the fresh stuff. The canned version is reputed to be nasty… Don't eat it, Steve!

By: Enraged Bull Limpet

Enraged Bull Limpet — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 07:13:19 +0000

Next time I drive southward on I-5, I am SO gonna get a good photo of the Central Point, Oregon exit. It’d come in handy in many a pinch.

By: Porlock Junior

Porlock Junior — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 07:00:20 +0000

OK, all this talk of tricorn hats has forced me to say this:

After the overthrow of Suharto, there was a lot of commentary on the powerful family connections that owned large pieces of Indonesia at the time. One of the powerful turned out to be Suharto’s third son, a real high-impact guy who was on various boards of directors wearing many hats and was named, wait for it,

BAMBANG TRIHAT MOJO and I am not making this up.

By: jim

jim — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 06:18:08 +0000

Given what complete whackaloons a lot of the protesters were, probably a good 10% of the “angry mob” were utterly ambivalent looky-loos, eagerly watching to see if anybody would unload an AR-15 into the crowd or do a Buddhist Monk Human Barbecue routine or whatnot … & I think that if they keep amping up the apeshit-factor, they’re going to wind up producing something of that nature. Attention-whores aren’t exactly renowned for their calm sense of rational judgement … those famous last words of many a pwned redneck – “hey, watch THIS” – spring to mind.

Most big protests are scheduled for weekends to boost numbers (& minimize inconvenience for those in attendance) & the Teabaggers’ 9/12 Parade O’ Stoopid was no different – so Glenn “More-Emo-Than-Thou” Beck can open another box of Kleenex & get himself a big steaming mug of Shut The Fuck Up. Obviously he had those chronic hemorrhoids transplanted into his capacious skull – & they’ve long since become septic.

By: g

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 05:36:42 +0000

The percentage of full-time workers who voted for Obama exceeded that of other voters, according to exit polls.

By: Enraged Bull Limpet

Enraged Bull Limpet — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 05:24:04 +0000

As a longtime fungal hobbyist I’ve been jonesing to try huitlacoche for years, but haven’t had an opportunity to sample the fresh stuff. The canned version is reputed to be nasty… after all, how long has it been since plain ol’ canned button mushrooms were deemed fit for discriminating palates?

By: TBogg

TBogg — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 05:02:34 +0000

Keldon Clapp looks like he's not missing many meals since he lost his job