Sep
16

The One You Got From Your “Masseuse” Doesn’t Count




Posted at 2:44 by Mister Leonard Pierce

Hi-ho, Sadleroonies! I’m involved in a top-secret project right now that involves falling into a nice relaxing coma, so I can’t stay long, but I wanted to briefly address something my boy D. brought up in his post about about Shannon Love.

Above: Teabaggers line up for a big career opportunity.

It wasn’t just two million people who showed up at the big dipshit rally in D.C., says MC Shan. Of course, it wasn’t two million people at all, but leave that alone: the impressive part is that it was “two million people with jobs“. This is a preciously guarded bit of wingnut mythology, repeated wherever two dickbags are gathered together: sure, half a million might turn out to protest a bogus war of aggression, but that’s not a big deal, because what else do a bunch of bums, hippies and college dropouts have to do with their time? But if seven guys show up on a street corner to bitch about President Nigger giving our awesome health care away to immigants, and it really means something, because they have jobs.

Even Glenn Beck peddles this notion: in the come-fly-with-me video he put together for the 9/12 march, Glenn’s whiny voice can be heard bitching that hard-working Americans have to give up their precious vacation and leisure time to protest Obama’s tyrannical whatever he’s doing. (As an aside, only white people, am I right, folks? I mean, seriously, can you imagine blacks in the ’60s complaining that they had to take a sick day to go march on Washington with MLK for their civil rights?) So clearly, it must be true. Those flag-shirted thousands who piloted their Rascals towards Washington to protest the president’s communo-socialist Hitlerfascism must be a hardworking bunch of gainfully employed solid citizens.

As ol’ Giovanni Gaspari once said, easy enough to find out, idn’t it?

- “Richard Brigle, 57, a Vietnam War veteran and former Teamster, came from Paw Paw, Mich. He said health care needs to be reformed — but not according to Obama’s plan. ‘My grandkids are going to be paying for this. It’s going to cost too much money that we don’t have,’ he said while marching, bracing himself with a wooden cane as he walked.”

Well, hey. On disability and probably collecting a pension from your liberal, staunchly Democratic labor union, that’s almost like having a job. Let’s see who else was out there.

- “Quinn Ryan, 11, stood in the middle of Pennsylvania Avenue, near the spot where Obama and his wife Michelle walked on a bitter cold day in January after he was sworn in as the first black American president, brandishing a sign reading: ‘Born free, taxed to death.’”

Okay, well, thanks to liberal reformers, 11-year-olds aren’t forced to have jobs anymore. But imagine what this poor kid’s tax burden must be like! Moving on.

- “‘I want Congress to be afraid,” said Keldon Clapp, 45, an unemployed marketing representative who recently moved to Tennessee from Connecticut after losing his job. “Like everyone else here, I want them to know that we’re watching what they’re doing. And they do work for us.’”

Look, he’s a professional! He just happens to be unemployed at the moment! And I’m sure he’s the only one.

- “Paula Davis, 55, and her husband, James Davis Jr., a retired Air Force lieutenant, stood by the band and handed out small American flags to passers-by. ”

Retired isn’t unemployed! It means you have a job, you’re just not doing it anymore!

- “Dick Armey, a former House Republican leader whose group Freedomworks helped organize the protest, stood before the crowd and led the rallying cries in nearly the same spot where Mr. Obama took his oath of office eight months ago.”

Just because Dick isn’t in government anymore doesn’t mean he’s unemployed! He’s got a lobbying…oh, wait, he got fired from that gig. But that FreedomWorks thing, that’s kind of like having a job!

There’s tons of other articles if you care to Google them, with quotes from the unemployed, the disabled, the retired (by far the strongest demographic — the average age of the marchers seemed to be somewhere in the mid-50s), and students, as well as “small business owners” who get to say they’re employed by making up their own job. But the fact that there were thousands of people out there who don’t have jobs shouldn’t diminish the claim that all the marchers had jobs. Indeed, it should be — follow the bouncing ball — CENTRAL TO THEIR POINT.

81 Comments »

  1. Pere Ubu said,

    September 16, 2009 at 2:48

    Wasn’t “Get Shannon Love!” on the NBC Tuesday Night Mystery Movie? (ooh WE ooooh oooh WEEEooooohh OOOH WEEEEEH OOOOOOH)

  2. M. Bouffant said,

    September 16, 2009 at 2:50

    I got several of those top-secret projects going. Just a question of which one puts me in a coma first.

    And now, to read the rest.

  3. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:01

    It boggles the mind that all these asshats can claim the numbers that they do for that Saturday.

    My personal fav

    What that shows us is Pennsylvania Avenue full of people walking past for at least three hours. (This matches some other independent accounts, like this at the New York Times.) So more back of the envelope: it’s 1.1 miles from Freedom Park to the Capitol, and Pennsylvania is six lanes plus a middle turn lane and some sidewalks — call it 100 feet wide. That’s about 600,000 square feet, so if it were a crowd standing still, that is at least 100,000 people. We’ve got a picture of that, so that’s got to be a lower bound. We’ve also got a variety of pictures of at least the part of the Mall from 3rd to Capitol Circle and it’s pretty full — the Park Service method tells us that’s around 250,000 right there.

    It as if they can say anything at all, and never have to worry about losing credibility in the corporate media.

    Oh. Right.
    ~

  4. M. Bouffant said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:02

    Is that woman at the “President Nigger” link so fucking stupid that she forgot “LION?” Or does she think she’s writing a picture book for pre-schoolers, & the picture will substitute for the word? (In which case she’s put Leo in the wrong place.)

    Besides all the retirees, I’d guess that many of the ‘baggers are just anti-tax maniacs who are either small business owners or some sort of contactors/consultants who don’t have taxes w/held (often w/ a refund after filing) and have to pay their taxes out of their own bank account, which goes far to explain their mania over taxes.

    So no, most of them probably don’t have 9-5 gigs from which they’d have to take a day off.

  5. J— said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:04

    The Bridge!

  6. Lesley said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:04

    I’d like to enhance that further: 2 million with jobs as spellcheckers

  7. Lesley said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:05

    If you’re gonna lie, LIE BIG.

  8. Pere Ubu said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:06

    SPELCHEKERS R A TOL OF TEH DEVILL

  9. lawguy said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:08

    A retired Air Force lieutenant? I didn’t realize you could stay in the military long enough to retire and still be a lieutenant. How is that possible?

  10. Arky - Geek God said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:10

    Look, it was a WEEKEND. You get on the plane after work Friday, you arrive at one of our three airports Friday evening, tbag yourself silly on Saturday, repeat the same operation in reverse Sunday morning and you’re home in time for football.

    Despite their fetish for dressing up in colonial drag this isn’t the fucking 1690′s, transportation is a bit swifter now. No, you don’t get a prize for arriving here on a weekend no less. Stop whining, bitches.

    And speaking of colonial fetishism, isn’t it funny that the same bug fuckers who labor under the delusion that they have anything in common with George Washington besides opposable thumbs want a cookie for making a brief trip to their Nation’s capital? I can imagine those douchebags at the Delaware crossing. “Waah, it’s cold!” “My feet are wet!” “Are we there yet?” “It’s God’s will that we be ruled by King George you commies!”

  11. tigrismus said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:14

    And speaking of colonial fetishism

    Somebody somewhere mentioned the total metaPHAIL that is dressing up as Indians (like the first tea partiers) and then holding signs saying things like “we want our country back!”

  12. Julia Grey said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:15

    A retired Air Force lieutenant? I didn’t realize you could stay in the military long enough to retire and still be a lieutenant. How is that possible?

    Probably a medical retirement. The equivalent of permanent disability.

    Of course, the reporter could also have mis-heard. It’s very possible to retire as a Lieutenant Colonel.

  13. Penthouse Forum Editor said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:16

    tbag yourself silly on Saturday, repeat the same operation in reverse Sunday morning and you’re home
    Nice start. Needs more details.

  14. M. Bouffant said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:16

    Cultural white people (Not to be confused w/ “White Culture”) like their space. I saw few pictures that had the porkers packed cheek to jowl there. So you gotta doubt the stats Mr. ™32RC has kindly quoted from a reputable but bankrupt source.

    Said source’s founder was suddenly all excited that “two million showed up.” So excited that he hasn’t bothered to revise his numbers, or decide that he might not have been wrong about the “movement,” after all. (Wish he’d said, “Or I’ll eat my hat,” ’cause then his stupid fedora would be hangin’ out of his mouth.)

    Boy, was I wrong. I can remember telling Glenn Reynolds during CPAC that these Tea Party demonstrations were rinky-dink and going nowhere.

  15. tigrismus said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:16

    PEE ESS I must admit to owning a tricorn hat.

  16. Pere Ubu said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:17

    I can imagine those douchebags at the Delaware crossing. “Waah, it’s cold!” “My feet are wet!” “Are we there yet?” “It’s God’s will that we be ruled by King George you commies!”

    “What’s with all these femmy wigs? Are we supposed to be homos or something?”

    “Mr. General! Mr. General! Steve’s looking at me again!”

    “I shouldst not have come! I wrote a stern letter again’ yE British excesses in mine journal, or, as I like to know it, ‘yE Blogge’!”

  17. Looch said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:18

    metaPHAIL

    I am totally going to steal that without attribution use that and then give you credit.

  18. Pere Ubu said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:19

    I saw few pictures that had the porkers packed cheek to jowl there.

    Gravity attracts massive objects to each other.

  19. Looch said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:21

    I can imagine those douchebags at the Delaware crossing. “Waah, it’s cold!” “My feet are wet!” “Are we there yet?” “It’s God’s will that we be ruled by King George you commies!”

    “You want me to line up and march toward the British soldiers?”

  20. M. Bouffant said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:22

    Golly gosh darn you, Julia Grey, stay out of my mind & don’t post both points I was gong to bring up before I can even finalize my thoughts.

  21. ckc (not kc) said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:23

    …tbag yourself silly on Saturday, repeat the same operation in reverse Sunday morning and you’re home…

    ..woh, I thought I was home the whole time!

  22. Jennifer said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:26

    Well, it ain’t as if we didn’t already know they were math-impaired. I mean, these are the people who constantly go around claiming that Democrats don’t work. So basically, they think the piddling shit taken out of their check for AFDC etc is supporting the majority of working-age people in the country, because we know from the election, polling, etc. that over half of the country is, if not entirely liberal, sympathetic to “liberal” ideas such as making sure that getting sick doesn’t bankrupt people. Even if they believed that ALL of the taxes withheld from their check were going to “welfare” (and many of them do) rather than the piddling 1% or whatever it is that goes to AFDC, and even including the whopping-by-comparison FICA withholdings, essentially they’re clinging to the belief that 15% of their pay is supporting more than one person full-time to do nothing.

    What really galls them, though, is that all of those people their $250 a month is supporting are better-looking with nicer homes and better cars. Also, smarter.

    Really, we shouldn’t even bother. It hurts my brain to bend it into the position of trying to understand what their beef is in any given situation. These are people who are miserable with life; that would be bad enough, but there are other people such as myself who are miserable with life and are unfortunately too smart to delude themselves into believing that it’s other people’s fault – yet another example of ignorance being bliss. No, what really puts it over the top is that they can always find a scapegoat to blame for all the various ways in which life has failed them – but they’re never smart enough to pin the tail on the ones who really are making their lives less pleasant and more stressful. And all the while they’re preaching personal responsibility while casting about for the next villain to blame for all their problems.

    To shorter that: they are stupid, bad people who in a more civilized time would simply be shunned, ignored and cut off from polite society.

  23. Arky - Geek God said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:33

    Nice start. Needs more details.

    How about photos? Here’s Dan Reheil and Glenn Beck at the Reflecting Pool. Note how the light shines off Beck’s shaved sack and Dan’s forehead …

  24. ckc (not kc) said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:35

    …people who in a more civilized time would simply be shunned, ignored and cut off from polite society.

    but, of course (it goes without saying), would not die bankrupt in a gutter.

  25. Pere Ubu said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:36

    Note how the light shines off Beck’s shaved sack and Dan’s forehead …

    DO

    NOT

    WANT

    !!!

  26. arguingwithsignposts said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:39

    …people who in a more civilized time would simply be shunned, ignored and cut off from polite society.

    would this be a more civilized time in the future? Because I don’t recall any such time in the past history of the u.s.

  27. SomeNYGuy said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:39

    PEE ESS I must admit to owning a tricorn hat.

    I didn’t even know there were three kinds of corn, let alone that a hat was required.

  28. ckc (not kc) said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:41

    …owning a tricorn hat…

    …check out who owns who(m).

  29. g said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:43

    hard-working Americans have to give up their precious vacation and leisure time to protest Obama’s tyrannical whatever he’s doing.

    Would those be the vacation and and sick leave days that labor unions fought hard to secure for them?

  30. Zombie Virginia Dare said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:43

    PEE ESS I must admit to owning a tricorn hat.

    Uh, that third one? Not a corn.

  31. SomeNYGuy said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:43

    Okay, I looked it up. There’s sweet corn, David Corn, and unicorn. Learn something new every day.

  32. Zombie Not Previewing Before Posting said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:44

    D’oh!

  33. Smut Clyde said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:45

    PEE ESS I must admit to owning a tricorn hat.
    Can I buy an N?

  34. Smut Clyde said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:53

    My Black Panther beret. It is an Acorn hat.

  35. Major Kong said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:55

    I didn’t realize you could stay in the military long enough to retire and still be a lieutenant. How is that possible?

    Normally you’d have to be at least a Major. If you get passed over for Major you’re normally forced out long before you’ve served the 20 years it takes to earn a retirement.

    Promotion to Captain in the Air Force was pretty much automatic unless you screwed up massively.

  36. tigrismus said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:56

    Sweet, dent, flint, flour, and pop. DAMMIT I need a quintcorn hat.

  37. Jennifer said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:57

    would this be a more civilized time in the future? Because I don’t recall any such time in the past history of the u.s.

    Geez, you really know how to stab someone right in the heart of their discontent, don’t cha?

  38. SomeNYGuy said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:58

    Now is the whimper of our discontent.

  39. owlbear1 said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:07

    Even Glenn Beck peddles this notion: in the come-fly-with-me video he put together for the 9/12 march, Glenn’s whiny voice can be heard bitching that hard-working Americans have to give up their precious vacation and leisure time to protest Obama’s tyrannical whatever he’s doing.

    No “Going Galt” Glenn?

  40. MzNicky said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:13

    It’s so weird, but I was just thinking about how it’s been too long since we’ve seen Mr. Leonard Pierce around these parts. Then I click onto Sadly and there he is! Things like that have been happening to me all day.

    Also, tigrismus’ observation — the total metaPHAIL that is dressing up as Indians (like the first tea partiers) and then holding signs saying things like “we want our country back!” — made my new puppy-dog spew his Sprite all over my computer.

  41. N__B said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:21

    Keldon Clapp, 45, an unemployed marketing representative who recently moved to Tennessee from Connecticut after losing his sulfa drugs.

  42. Citizen_X said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:21

    I have a triporn hat. Does that count?

  43. N__B said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:22

    Sweet, dent, flint, flour, and pop. DAMMIT I need a quintcorn hat.

    What about Jimmy crack? Hexacorn hat…

  44. tigrismus said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:28

    What about Jimmy crack?

    For that type I don’t care.

  45. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:30

    Bicolor, White, Yellow?

    I got your nonagonalcorn hat right here, on sale, right now!
    ~

  46. N__B said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:31

    What about Jimmy crack?

    For that type I don’t care.

    But crack-corn is wack-corn! I know ’cause Nancy Reagan said so.

  47. SomeNYGuy said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:31

    What about Jimmy crack?

    That’s not corn, that’s methamphetamine.

  48. tigrismus said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:40

    Also: Hexacorn hat…

    I do have a witchy-type conically peaked hat, but I have never worn it while cursing Zea mays. Is that how huitlacoche* is formed?

    *Mexican Spanish for “Smut”. SIGNIFICANT?

  49. tigrismus said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:46

    That’s not corn, that’s methamphetamine.

    Or the place of bifurcation in James the Plumber’s nates.

  50. N__B said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:47

    I do have a witchy-type conically peaked hat

    Does it come with its own cackle?

    cursing Zea mays

    Say-hey has a sad.

  51. tigrismus said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:56

    A cackle has been provided for it.

  52. kate said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:56

    OT but sort of related. Here in the newfound Free Stater Homeland of NH, a woman and man were just arrested after found to be fugitives from justice from Arizona. There crime? Sexual abuse and molestation of two children, 4 and 5 yrs old.

    Why did they come to New Hampshire? To start a new life they said, since they learned from the intertubes that New Hampshire was lookin’ for free independent spirits just like them. That they had possible pending charges for what a cop called, “grostesque acts of abuse” is of little concern to the Freepers.

    Their Freeper Recruiter stood by them in court the next day, offering guidance on how to fight off the big gubmint trying to take away their freedoms. The Freeper was quoted as saying something like, “Well, we never figured they get charged.”

    These are also the types marching on Washington: loons who use every mental contortion possible to excuse their deviant behavior and blame society for subjugating their “rights” to engage in it.

  53. KRS-ONE said,

    September 16, 2009 at 4:59

    What about Jimmy crack?

    The J, the I, the M, the M, the Y, the J, the I, the M, it’s Jimmmmmeeeeeee!

  54. Arky - Geek God said,

    September 16, 2009 at 5:29

    *Mexican Spanish for “Smut”. SIGNIFICANT?

    Maize oui!

  55. Mari said,

    September 16, 2009 at 5:33

    Jennifer @3:26:

    There’s no point in trying to understand Confederate-Americans because they just don’t have any positions that can be understood rationally. They’re tribal followers who do what their leaders tell them to. They’re upset because a Democrat (i.e. someone not of the Confederate-American tribe) is in office and because Republican leaders have told them to be upset.

    Rationality only enters the conservative movement at the boardroom level, where the well-heeled have decided that letting uninsured Americans continue to die in the streets is an acceptable price to pay to protect the health insurance industry’s profits and the right wing-hard right wing scope of the Overton window. These people are sociopaths, but they are certainly rational.

  56. Matt T. said,

    September 16, 2009 at 5:33

    SomeNYGuy said,

    September 16, 2009 at 3:58

    Now is the whimper of our discontent.

    Bwah. Hah. Hah. Would you like your internets in a plain, brown wrapper or in a clear, vinyl bag, suitable for longbox storage?

    Also!
    As an aside, only white people, am I right, folks? I mean, seriously, can you imagine blacks in the ’60s complaining that they had to take a sick day to go march on Washington with MLK for their civil rights?

    Ah, but what you forget is that the Civil Rights movement was inspired and probably funded by communists! So, there ya go. In any event, black folks back then were just marching so they could take away every white man’s right to be called “Mister” by a black man a couple decades older, and not something serious like… whatever the fuck they were marching about this weekend.

  57. El Cid said,

    September 16, 2009 at 5:58

    Doesn’t bitching about Obama count as a job anyway?

  58. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 16, 2009 at 6:01

    But that FreedomWorks thing, that’s kind of like having a job!

    Fuckin’ community organizing, that is.

  59. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 16, 2009 at 6:02

    And welcome back Mr. Pierce.

  60. g said,

    September 16, 2009 at 6:45

    Their Freeper Recruiter stood by them in court the next day, offering guidance on how to fight off the big gubmint trying to take away their freedoms.

    Is that something like having an ACORN staff person giving you an application form for a housing loan? cuz I really wanna know……

  61. g said,

    September 16, 2009 at 6:45

    I likes me some huitlachoche, BTW……

  62. TBogg said,

    September 16, 2009 at 7:02

    Keldon Clapp looks like he’s not missing many meals since he lost his job

  63. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    September 16, 2009 at 7:24

    As a longtime fungal hobbyist I’ve been jonesing to try huitlacoche for years, but haven’t had an opportunity to sample the fresh stuff. The canned version is reputed to be nasty… after all, how long has it been since plain ol’ canned button mushrooms were deemed fit for discriminating palates?

  64. g said,

    September 16, 2009 at 7:36

    The percentage of full-time workers who voted for Obama exceeded that of other voters, according to exit polls.

  65. jim said,

    September 16, 2009 at 8:18

    Given what complete whackaloons a lot of the protesters were, probably a good 10% of the “angry mob” were utterly ambivalent looky-loos, eagerly watching to see if anybody would unload an AR-15 into the crowd or do a Buddhist Monk Human Barbecue routine or whatnot … & I think that if they keep amping up the apeshit-factor, they’re going to wind up producing something of that nature. Attention-whores aren’t exactly renowned for their calm sense of rational judgement … those famous last words of many a pwned redneck – “hey, watch THIS” – spring to mind.

    Most big protests are scheduled for weekends to boost numbers (& minimize inconvenience for those in attendance) & the Teabaggers’ 9/12 Parade O’ Stoopid was no different – so Glenn “More-Emo-Than-Thou” Beck can open another box of Kleenex & get himself a big steaming mug of Shut The Fuck Up. Obviously he had those chronic hemorrhoids transplanted into his capacious skull – & they’ve long since become septic.

  66. Porlock Junior said,

    September 16, 2009 at 9:00

    OK, all this talk of tricorn hats has forced me to say this:

    After the overthrow of Suharto, there was a lot of commentary on the powerful family connections that owned large pieces of Indonesia at the time. One of the powerful turned out to be Suharto’s third son, a real high-impact guy who was on various boards of directors wearing many hats and was named, wait for it,


    BAMBANG TRIHAT MOJO
    and I am not making this up.

  67. Enraged Bull Limpet said,

    September 16, 2009 at 9:13

    Next time I drive southward on I-5, I am SO gonna get a good photo of the Central Point, Oregon exit. It’d come in handy in many a pinch.

  68. Smut Clyde said,

    September 16, 2009 at 12:28

    I’ve been jonesing to try huitlacoche for years, but haven’t had an opportunity to sample the fresh stuff. The canned version is reputed to be nasty…
    Don’t eat it, Steve!

  69. RvB said,

    September 16, 2009 at 14:51

    2 million teabaggers? More like Ten Thousand Maniacs.

  70. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 16, 2009 at 14:56

    Some dispute the edibility of smut corn:

    http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000344.php

    my favorite piccy is the one showing a plate full, with “The Sneeze” as an imprint. Or a title.

  71. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 16, 2009 at 14:57

    Smut Clyde? Or Smut Corn? Irresponsible nott to speculate. In any case, damn him all to hell. Get up five minutes earlier this morning, and he would have been pwned by zombie.

  72. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 16, 2009 at 14:58

    More like Ten Thousand Maniacs.

    I thought Natalie Merchant was a flamin liberal.

  73. actor212 said,

    September 16, 2009 at 15:33

    I likes me some huitlachoche, BTW……

    Errrrrr, and a coocoo cachoo to you, sir…

  74. Alleen said,

    September 16, 2009 at 17:02

    Wait, not THE Keldon Clapp?

    http://blogs.courant.com/capitol_watch/2009/09/connecticut-budget-solitaire-photo.html

    “By Keldon Clapp on September 2, 2009 11:46 AM
    Ha Ha! Those slugs at the state house are exzctly the reason why I moved to Tennessee. Good luck and good ridence.”

    He hated the Connecticut legislators who played Solitaire while a GOP leg. was speaking. He would prefer that they shout “YOU LIE!”

  75. The Goddamn Batman Lives A Life Of Leisure, If By "Leisure" You Mean "Honing Himself Into An Unstoppable Crimefighting Machine" said,

    September 16, 2009 at 17:16

    Whatever scorn I heap on these clowns tends to pale when I consider what it must be like to be a 45-year-old unemployed “marketing representative” in Tennessee. Willy Loman, meet William Faulkner. I don’t think that Barney Frank is quaking in his loafers because you’re out wandering around the Mall.

  76. Susan of Texas said,

    September 16, 2009 at 18:07

    an unemployed marketing representative who recently moved to Tennessee from Connecticut after losing his job

    You know what happens when the North becomes unemployed? They move South. Thanks a freaking lot, guys. Like we don’t already have enough crazies. They figure that at least they won’t freeze to death in the winter, although by July they’re wishing they had.

    And the only thing we can do about it is steal their U-Haul full of all their earthly possesions while they’re parked at Kountry Kitchen eating lunch, which is what my fellow Texans did in the 1980s.

  77. Mr. Wonderful said,

    September 16, 2009 at 18:18

    NPR had a piece about that corn rot about two weeks ago. You’ll notice it was JUST AUDIO. God forbid they should show us what the stuff looks like.

  78. Susan of Texas said,

    September 16, 2009 at 18:32

    But that FreedomWorks thing, that’s kind of like having a job!

    Fuckin’ community organizing, that is.

    If your community is standing on a street corner in high heels and a tube top.

  79. Smut Clyde said,

    September 16, 2009 at 21:37

    my favorite piccy is the one showing a plate full, with “The Sneeze” as an imprint. Or a title.

    Don’t worry, I checked the ingredients before I tasted it. “Smoker’s lung” was not on there.

    Whatever scorn I heap on these clowns
    The Goddamn Batman is a veritable scornucopia.

  80. mary b said,

    September 16, 2009 at 23:38

    If the Clapp moved to TN from CT, then he deserves to be here.
    I am also from Ct, but am stuck here in TN because there are NO fucking jobs! If I could get a job, unlike the ones I’ve had here that pay barely over minimum wage, I would go back to CT in a heartbeat.
    This hell hole is filled with 9/12er’s. I fucking hate it here!
    Can you start a fund for me or find a rich donor so me and my kids can go home?

  81. JadedOptimist said,

    September 17, 2009 at 0:17

    Let’s see… I’ve been to one of those fancy protests on the Mall before, and a couple of Presidential inaugurals. I must have been unemployed at those times, because I’m sure Glenn Beck wouldn’t like. Hmmm….

    stock footage of calendar pages fluttering to the floor… It is 1987… fade to NotQuiteAsJadedYetOptimist in the lunchroom of the Catholic School where he works. Sister Mary Chevy joins him…

    Sister MC: So where are you going on your vacation?
    Me: Ummmm…. back East, Sister. Nothing special.

    cut to shot of the Capitol. A couple hundred thousand gay men and lesbians are there for the second March on Washington for LGBT rights, including NotQuiteAsJadedYetOptimist

    Huh, guess I was employed. Well, by ’93, surely…

    more fluttering calendar pages… VeryJadedOptimist enters his office wearing an obnoxiously huge “Presidential Inaugural 1993 William Jefferson Clinton Albert V. Gore Jr” button

    Secretary: Welcome back! How was the Inaugural?
    Me: Awesome!

    Huh. Well, surely by the NEXT trip my natural Liebrul laziness and ineptitude meant that I was unemployed and had nothing better to do, right?

    a couple more damn calendar pages flutter to the floor. the floor is now a mess with 22 years worth of calendar pages

    Co-worker: Management is setting up a big screen TV in the Boardroom so we can watch Obama’s inaugural live. Isn’t that cool?

    Me: Yeah – be sure to look for me in the parade! Gotta head to the airport now, bye!

    cut to shot of the crowd on the Mall on January 21, 2009. Zoom in on… yeah, right. Like you can pick one person out of a crowd of 2,000,000…

    OMG… Does this mean I’m really a conservative?!?!?!

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