Comments on: No. 38 In Your Program, No. 1 In Your Heart Attack

By: BillCinSD

BillCinSD — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 20:53:39 +0000

Darren Bennett too slightly peeved. 215 goals in 74 games for Melbourne, and the best hit I’ve ever seen a punter give. Punter on the NFL 1990s All-Decade team and one of Melbourne’s 150 Heroes in 150 years

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 19:40:03 +0000

So since Jonah wants us to be first in everything, why aren’t we FIRST in infant mortality? “First country to jump up to over 6.0″ — why haven’t jumped up to 600 deaths per 1,000 live births? Huh? Huh?

Oh wait … with our current healthcare system, we’ll be there already by the time ex-Governor Barbie wins the White House.

By: slightly_peeved

slightly_peeved — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 09:03:51 +0000

But I will say…
Go Bulldogs! Whip those Saints!

After all, Dogs against Cats in the Grand Final. It just sounds right.

As a Crows supporter, I will simply say:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH

Other topic: You islanders & down-underians are all devolving smaller or whatever it is that happens on islands, but in the Heartland of Over-Consumption, our boys are corn-fed (And high-fructose corn syrup-fed!) Monsters of the Midway, not the descendants of scrawny Englishers deprived of adequate protein & nutrition for generations by their feudal lords & the English diet.

Gridiron is the game Australian Rules players play once they get too old and infirm to play Australian Rules. Fact. See Saverio Rocca and Ben Graham.

A number of Australian Rules and Rugby League players have taken up boxing once they finished their football careers, I believe because they realized they needed to slow down and calm things down a bit in their old age.

By: St. Bina, Patron of Antiterrorism Experts

St. Bina, Patron of Antiterrorism Experts — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 01:15:54 +0000

Even with the pads and the space helmets and the airbags, it’s a dirty little secret that NFL players have their lives shortened to Jonah Goldberg levels from their injuries. This is why we put up with Tom Brady. His blood makes the crops grow.

Ah, the secret is out. Tom Brady is the Wicker Man!

By: St. Bina, Patron of Antiterrorism Experts

St. Bina, Patron of Antiterrorism Experts — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 01:13:05 +0000

well, at least we are not socialest like France or Canada, we have the free market, God and freedom.

It’s 9-12 liberal morons, we surround you!

Oh look, it made poopy again. Is this supposed to frighten me? It would frighten me more if it only knew how to spell…

You may be social, kiddo, but we’re socialer than thou, and as for me, I’m the SOCIALEST! Haha, pwned.

By: Just Alison, aka Snail Joust

Just Alison, aka Snail Joust — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 00:51:35 +0000

M. Bouffant, I beg you to consider the All Blacks – all determined to stamp some pasty white arses into the dirt (note the expressions on the opposition – a visual representation of “Ulp”). Not exactly scrawny, although mostly not descendants of Englishers either.

Julian Perez – get entirely fucked. I’ll be as arseholish as I want to be, and you can stick your assumed superiority in your hole.

By: Horse Of Another Colour

Horse Of Another Colour — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 23:20:20 +0000

“This entry gives the number of deaths of infants under one year old in a given year per 1,000 live births in the same year; included is the total death rate, and deaths by sex, male and female. This rate is often used as an indicator of the level of health in a country.” – C.I.A. World Fact Book

(deaths/1,000 live births)
—————————–
1 – Singapore_________2.31
2 – Bermuda__________2.46
3 – Sweden___________2.75
4 – Japan_____________2.79
5 – Hong Kong________2.92
6 – Macau____________3.22
7 – Iceland___________3.23
8 – France___________3.33
9 – Finland___________3.47 …
14 – Czech Republic____3.79
15 – Germany_________3.99
16 – Switzerland_______4.18
17 – Spain____________4.21 …
21 – Korea, South______4.26
22 – Denmark_________4.34 …
29 – Australia_________4.75 …
32 – United Kingdom____4.85
33 – New Zealand______4.92
34 – Monaco__________5.00 …
36 – Canada__________5.04
37 – Ireland___________5.05 ..
39 – Greece___________5.16 …
43 – Italy______________5.51
44 – European Union____5.72
45 – Cuba_____________5.82
46 – United States_____6.26___First country to jump up to over 6.0
47 – Faroe Islands______6.32
48 – Croatia___________6.37
Others have quoted the same source, but I thought it was a nice touch to see it in context of some of the other countries. I edited out some for the sake of bervity

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 19:52:06 +0000

“Sirius Lunacy said,

September 12, 2009 at 13:14

…

Well, we have the Pentagon. Is that still the largest office building in the world? I could look it up but not enough coffee yet. Of course the Pentagon does not jut high up into the sky proclaiming America’s manhood. In fact, it has a hole in the middle of it, it is the wrong sex entirely.”

win

By: tensor

tensor — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 19:09:39 +0000

For the record, I’ve never much liked the idea of a living memorial to some hussy’s contraceptive failure, and so I continue to applaud you ongoing attempts to tear it down.

By: Chicago City Comptroller

Chicago City Comptroller — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 18:45:01 +0000

Jonah Goldberg gives a bad name to dimwitted, jingoism spouting, only got their position through nepotism, fatfuck hack propagandists everywhere.

By: DrDick

DrDick — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 18:08:14 +0000

From what I can see, the US is #50 in Life Expectancy at Birth.

As I indicated in my post on infant mortality, the CIA hates America.

By: truthy

truthy — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 18:01:24 +0000

It would be good if they made that area a park, complete with a Vietnam-quality- memorial.

By: Snarla

Snarla — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 17:42:34 +0000

From what I can see, the US is #50 in Life Expectancy at Birth.
https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2102rank.html

By: NutellaonToast

NutellaonToast — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 16:03:04 +0000

“Giant concrete-and-steel penis sheaths”

I’m so glad we went away from those olod conrete and steal condoms when they invented latex. They were not fun.

Also, is the title a reference? I feel like “no 1 in your heart attack” is from something.

By: DrDick

DrDick — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 15:58:08 +0000

Don’t forget infant mortality. We are 33rd there according to the UN, right between Croatia and New Caledonia. According to the CIA, we are only 46th, between Guam and the Faroe Islands. Nice neighborhoods.

By: Sirius Lunacy

Sirius Lunacy — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 15:07:35 +0000

Ok Jp, I won’t be an asshole and talk about soccer, and I won’t sour the mix with rugby. But I will say…
Go Bulldogs! Whip those Saints!

After all, Dogs against Cats in the Grand Final. It just sounds right.

By: Julian Perez

Julian Perez — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 12:35:33 +0000

Ahhh, it wouldn’t be a baseball thread without some asshole to come in and never shut up about soccer, and it wouldn’t be a sports thread without the occasional rugby jerk to sour the mix. It’s sort of like how whenever you go to any given cocktail party there’s always one guy that doesn’t own a TV who doesn’t stop talking about how he doesn’t own a TV.

Also, the American version of the Office is funnier than the UK.

By: Sirius Lunacy

Sirius Lunacy — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 12:20:14 +0000

Smut Clyde is very proud of his most uncomfortable penis sheath EVAH.

By: Irion

Irion — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 12:19:36 +0000

For a bunch of crazed religious nutbags, I’m sure there is no lesson that needed to be learned from the Tower of Babel.

By: R. Porrofatto

R. Porrofatto — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 12:19:17 +0000

I love it when Jonah Goldberg writes "for the record", as if someone, somewhere, is getting all this down, or gives a shit. I wanted the World Trade Center rebuilt, even bigger. You have to admire Jonah's Hewitt-like courage in wanting this. And I'm sure he'd be the first to sign up for office space in it, especially after the paint the big bullseye on the biggest target in the world.