« Teh Dash Board
No. 38 In Your Program, No. 1 In Your Heart Attack »

Sep
11

Me Make Long Thread




Posted at 8:11 by D. Aristophanes

Me. Make. Long. Thread.

Zirkle
Or
Meh
Behold
Immortal
Everlasting

Thread.

468 Comments »

  1. Oregon Guy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 8:15

    BRAAANES

  2. D. Aristophanes said,

    September 11, 2009 at 8:15

    just wati

  3. D. Aristophanes said,

    September 11, 2009 at 8:16

    jsut wait

  4. D. Aristophanes said,

    September 11, 2009 at 8:16

    wust jait

  5. D. Aristophanes said,

    September 11, 2009 at 8:17

    fcuk it

  6. D. Aristophanes said,

    September 11, 2009 at 8:17

    YFPW

  7. A. Dristophanes said,

    September 11, 2009 at 8:18

    stop just stop

  8. Oregon Guy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 8:43

    President Camacho: Shit. I know shit’s bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution.

    South Carolina Representative # 1: That’s what you said last time, dipshit!

    South Carolina Representative # 2: Yeah, I got a solution, you’re a dick! South Carolina, what’s up!

  9. Just Joe said,

    September 11, 2009 at 8:48

    ?????

  10. Just Joe said,

    September 11, 2009 at 8:48

    Profit!

  11. Just Joe said,

    September 11, 2009 at 8:49

    Heh… I just got a message from SN: “You are posting comments too quickly. Slow down.”

  12. GregH said,

    September 11, 2009 at 8:51

    There is only one long thread.

  13. stibbert said,

    September 11, 2009 at 9:04

    There can be only ONE long thread.

  14. stibbert said,

    September 11, 2009 at 9:06

    ’shorter’ threads need not apply, as they are often posted too quickly.

  15. justme said,

    September 11, 2009 at 9:21

    Me. Make. Long.

    Veiled PENIS reference?

  16. Dr Zen said,

    September 11, 2009 at 9:32

    My thread is already lengthening.

  17. GregH said,

    September 11, 2009 at 9:54

    And there is only one Zombie Rotten McDonald

  18. Lesley said,

    September 11, 2009 at 10:01

    I have thread but I need it for darning.

  19. Auguste said,

    September 11, 2009 at 10:26

    I have dread but I need it for thaning. Cawdor, motherfuckers!

  20. Auguste said,

    September 11, 2009 at 10:27

    Possibly that last comment would have been even awesomer had my name-switch to “Macbeth” actually “taken.” Goddamnit.

  21. Willy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 12:17

    I’ll add my POOP to the pile. Also.

  22. M. Bouffant said,

    September 11, 2009 at 12:22

    This is not the post I had in mind.

  23. Merrymoll said,

    September 11, 2009 at 12:30

    This is not the post you’re looking for… *mystical hand wave*

  24. Stop The Socialests said,

    September 11, 2009 at 12:41

    WHy do liberals hate freedom so much?

  25. M. Bouffant said,

    September 11, 2009 at 12:50

    Really, can you get any freer than people are here?

    You wouldn’t know what to do w/ “freedom” if someone handed it to you w/ your Chee-tos® & Gold Bond.

    Hell, you wouldn’t even know what it was.

    “Ma! What’s this on my tray?”

  26. Woody Tobias Jr said,

    September 11, 2009 at 12:59

    for shooting the zom-bee, coat your bullets in datura.
    it worked great in one of my 3d movies.

  27. zebbidie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 12:59

    Doncha just hate it when you write a post with the intention to put in the first five comments and then somebody beats you to frist on your own post? It triggers me man…it gritters me nam…it mittens me gran…it glitters like flan…it. Also.

  28. furtive calliopist said,

    September 11, 2009 at 13:12

    Is that a leaf-blower in your pocket?

  29. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 11, 2009 at 13:22

    The diet of a zombie is a zombiet?

    I guess this makes sense…

  30. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 13:28

    Post-it Note Reminder: Don’t forget what happened at some point in the past. Important things happened! Remembering them is crucial. Otherwise they win. And we lose. Our. Memories.

  31. Zarquon said,

    September 11, 2009 at 13:33

    Watch this. No zombies here.

  32. Smut Clyde said,

    September 11, 2009 at 13:36

    Don’t forget what happened at some point in the past.
    Which one?

  33. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 13:40

    Which one?

    All of them! Forget not a one! Crucial!!!!!. Once lost, never regained!!! It would be so MUCH better if there were someway to keep these memories stored for future reference! Never forget! Remember all! Many, many Post-it Notes!!!!!!!

  34. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 13:43

    Why does Freedom hate libruls so?

  35. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 13:46

    Never forget! Remember all! Many, many Post-it Notes!!!!!!!

    I just posted a Post-it to remind me of the time I posted a Post-it.

  36. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 13:49

    Wingnut speak/thought is easy.

    Step 1: No caffeine.

    Step 2: Insert ice pick into ear to handle, jiggle.

    Step 3: Huff paint brush cleaner.

    Step 4: Post-it notes. Begin sticking.

    Step 5:???

    Step 6: Fropit!!!

  37. Smut Clyde said,

    September 11, 2009 at 13:52

    No, no, which past. If you don’t like your backstory, we can write you a new one.
    Away to feck with your pos-tit notes. Tattoos not good enough for you young punks?

  38. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 13:52

    Clinton was outgoing and very social. However. Bush was socailer. Now we have Obama who is socialest. But why must we stop the socailest?

  39. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 13:55

    socailest = socialest.

    My dyspepsia..um distemper…er distopia…well, I just can’t type.

  40. smut said,

    September 11, 2009 at 14:00

    The internet is not something you just dump something on. It’s not a truck.

    It’s a series of pos-tit notes.

    And if you don’t understand those notes can be filled and if they are filled, when you write your message on, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts onto that pos-tit note enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

  41. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 14:01

    No, no, which past.

    The old not new one.

    Last year’s model.

  42. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 14:03

    WHy do liberals hate freedom so much?

    Because it attacked me with a lawnmower.

    I think D. was up drinking later than I was. Celebrating the New Studebaker Model i’ll bet!!

  43. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 14:04

    personally, I am not looking forward to the post-tit future.

  44. Dr Science said,

    September 11, 2009 at 14:16

    How to make Elderberry Popguns
    The Barrel

    Select a long straight stalk at least one foot in length, and then work to pull and push out the spoungy center. This is the barrel.

    The Ramrod
    Next make a ramrod out of a piece of hickory. On the one end, leave the bark on for a large handle of about three inches.

    Then cut (real kids whittle) the rest of the hickory into a long round stick-like section, slightly smaller in diameter than the barrel.

    The Ammo
    Take a piece of paper, soak it in water (real kids chaw their own paper, on the spot) and make a wad which you insert into the end of the barrel so that it’s fairly tight.

    A second wad is then inserted into the opposite end.

    Firing
    With one swift shove of the Ramrod, the air between the wads is compressed to such a high degree that the first wad fires out with a satisfying bang!

  45. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 14:16

    Celebrating the New Studebaker Model i’ll bet!!

    Wait! Did something happen? Are all hopes Dashed? Must remember!

    Quick! A Post-it note!

  46. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 14:19

    And there is only one Zombie Rotten McDonald

    Yeah, but let him get a little bitey and pretty soon woah hey! Zombie jamboree!

  47. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 14:31

    Zombie jamboree!

    Also known as a “Zombathon.”

    “Zomstock” is a lesser-known usage.

  48. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 14:33

    “Zomstock” is a lesser-known usage.

    please please please let the zombie chicks KEEP their tops on…

  49. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 14:36

    Zompalooza?

  50. Steerpike said,

    September 11, 2009 at 14:55

    What do we want?

    BRANES!

    When do we want it?

    BRANES!!!

  51. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 14:58

    Zombopalooza.

    Zombie-a-go-go.

    Zoms-a-poppin

    ZombiFest.

  52. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:02

    zrm-the zombnipotent zomnivore.

  53. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:04

    please please please let the zombie chicks KEEP their tops on…

    Too late: http://i34.tinypic.com/51vuhz.jpg

    But maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as you think: http://www.worleygig.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/zombie-pinup.jpg

  54. Steerpike said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:05

    Welcome to Zombieland!

  55. OTB said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:17

    Zombie, or not Zombie. Is that the question?

  56. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:17

    Me blogwhore. Me sorry, take up ur tiem.

    BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  57. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:17

    Too late: http://i34.tinypic.com/51vuhz.jpg

    Compared to some of my past “closing time” adventures (and the morning, post- mortem* cringe) I’d say that looks pretty damn good. This Post-it note says so. Right here.

    *Step right up. I teed it up all nice and purty-like.

  58. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:18

    Too late: http://i34.tinypic.com/51vuhz.jpg

    MY EYES! ZE GOGGLES! ETC!

    But maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as you think: http://www.worleygig.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/zombie-pinup.jpg

    Um, ’scuse me, Ma’am, but you might want to put some Neosporin on that…

  59. Zombie Plumber said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:19

    DRAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

  60. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:22

    D.A. will be so proud when he comes to….

  61. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:24

    Me blogwhore. Me sorry, take up ur tiem.

    Nice post, actor.

    It’s a sunny day here in Columbia SC this morning… much like it was eight years ago in Manhattan.

    Scary shit isn’t supposed to happen on sunny days.

  62. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:26

    Me blogwhore. Me sorry, take up ur tiem.

    You go right ahead there, young man. But keep off the grass, OK?

    (Anna some healing thoughts to NYC. I remember how the 1989 earthquake left powerful, long-wave memories in the Bay Area. Different, yes, but a little the same, I think.)

  63. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:27

    Welcome to Zombieland!

    That is pure hate-video.

    Woody harrelson must have been really stoned.

  64. Zombie Birdwatcher said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:30

    Zombie Plumber said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:19

    DRAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

    CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  65. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:31

    Springsteen said it best in his song, when he called the skies “an unbelievable blue”.

    They were. It was cloudless right up to the contrails of the F-16s that came in way too late.

  66. Steerpike said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:31

    ZRM–I ran across that one a few nights ago. Can’t wait to see this movie! Looks like the lighter side of World War Z. Shaun of the Dead, with out the Rom-Com.

    And when was the last time, honestly, that Woody Harrelson looked not-stoned?

  67. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:33

    the contrails of the F-16s that came in way too late.

    Yesss. Many levels of yes on that.

  68. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:34

    P

  69. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:34

    E

  70. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:34

    The only problem with Zombieland…apart from the blatant beingism of the film…is the advocacy of using chainsaws. It strikes me that most yahoos couldn’t swing a chainsaw carefully if you spotted them a Kevlar suit.

    In other words, they are likely to make more zombies than they…to be politically correct to our zombie brethren…neutralize.

  71. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:34

    N

  72. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:34

    I

  73. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:35

    Oops. Interrupted DKW’s skywriting…

  74. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:35

    FYWP.

  75. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:35

    S

  76. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:35

    Stop him!

  77. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:36

    There’s an I in there, but Wordpress ate the most phallic member of my bag of dicks.

  78. Willy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:36

    I drive the zomboni at the hockey rink.

  79. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:36

    Heh. There is no “I” in penis. Heh.

  80. Steerpike said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:37

    PENS?

    Um, OK, Pens!

  81. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:38

    I drive the zomboni at the hockey rink.

    Well of course you do. It scrapes the branes offa the ice.

  82. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:39

    Resulting in: Branesicles!

  83. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:40

    This weird obsession youse all have with Zombies. Please EXPLAAANNNNEEESSSSS.

  84. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:40

    There’s not enough PENS in this thread.

  85. Steerpike said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:41

    I haven’t seen “Zombieland” yet, but it seems, from the trailer, to be a sensitive, thoughtful exploration of man’s struggle to find meaning in an uncaring universe, faced with the stark reality of his ultimate solitude in the face of the indifference and hostility of ZOMBIES!!!

  86. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:42

    What’s a zombie’s favourite road movie?

    Brains, Branes and Automobranes.

  87. Lunch Lady said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:45

    Muriel, what are you doing with those green beans?

  88. CapMidnight said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:47

    PEN911S
    There. I got the propane tanks all set up in the grate for when Saddam Claus flies down my flaming towerchimney.

  89. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:48

    I drive the zomboni at the hockey rink.

    Well of course you do. It scrapes the branes offa the ice.

    I know some hockey players. You’ll find no branes there.

  90. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:49

    Why did the zombie cross the road?
    BRANES.

    How many zombies does it take to change a lightbulb?
    BRANES.

    Knock knock.
    Who’s there?
    BRANES.

    A priest, a rabbi and a zombie walk into a BRANES.

    Same thing we do every night Pinky, try to take over BRANES.

  91. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:51

    I know some hockey players. You’ll find no branes there.

    As a former hockey player, I resemble that remark!

    I mean, resent that resemblance!

    I mean…uhhhhhhhhhhh…PENS!

  92. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:52

    Not to step on the shtick, so to speak but given my personal obsession:

    Muriel, what are you doing with those green beranes?

    Fecksed?

  93. Zombie Art Dealer said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:52

    FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!

  94. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:54

    Did you guys know George Romero has done TWO new “Dead” movies since “Land Of The Dead”?

    Including “Diary of The Dead”, which is the opening part of the crisis. I GOT to see that. For some reason, the opening hours/days fascinate me the most.

  95. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:54

    I were a hockey player too. Anda I know where my branes are. Inna Zomboni.

  96. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:55

    Oh – and he’s working on a third, due out later this year.

  97. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:57

    A priest, a rabbi and a zombie walk into a BRANES.

    and end up in a universe where the laws of physics are totally different and they all disintegrate ’cause the weak force is weaker.

    …um, not funny, I know, but it’s early.

  98. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:00

    just wati
    jsut wait
    wust jait
    fcuk it

    I’m trying to decipher what’s being said here. It looks like some kind of warning about members of the Society of Jesus wearing psuedo-hipster clothes from Italy.

  99. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:00

    An appropriate song for the present subject:

    http://www.twilightcreationsinc.com/zombies/milltowndemons.mp3

  100. Zombie Roger Ebert said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:02

    Including “Diary of The Dead”, which is the opening part of the crisis.

    Saw it.

    All I can say is it was a piece of pretentious garbage with just one thing going for it.

    FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!

  101. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:04

    Lunch Lady said,

    September 11, 2009 at 15:45

    Muriel, what are you doing with those green beans?

    I smell a rat here…

  102. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:04

    Zombie Roger Ebert: when you give two thumbs down, you give two. Thumbs. DOWN.

  103. D. Aristophanes said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:06

    Prepare
    Everyone
    Nativity
    September

    Dashiell will be born this very day!

  104. Willy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:08

    Zombielocks and the Three Branes

    “This one is much tooBRANES”

  105. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:08

    Dashiell will be born this very day!

    Unto you this day is born in Jerusalem Boston a Studie…

  106. Major Kong said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:09

    It strikes me that most yahoos couldn’t swing a chainsaw carefully if you spotted them a Kevlar suit.

    Sounds like they need Bruce Campbell.

  107. CapMidnight said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:12

    “You’ll want to take your bumbrella: the forecast calls for…”

  108. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:12

    OHNO!

    Lunch Lady was zombified!

    Lunchroom Lady Zombie

  109. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:14

    Sounds like they need Bruce Campbell

    I would have settled for Ken Foree.

  110. Till said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:14

    Why are we talking about PENS?

  111. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:19

    PENS!

  112. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:21

    Well-hung PENS!

  113. Andy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:21

    “Heh. There is no “I” in penis. Heh.”

    Actually, there is one eye in penis…

  114. Trilateral Chairman said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:25

    Springsteen said it best…

    Yes–and in The Rising, did so repeatedly. Sigh.

  115. Willy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:32

    Be careful how you spell PENSI

  116. Zombie Political Strategist said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:33

    FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!

  117. Zombie Chiropractor said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:54

    STRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  118. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:55

    It’s nice to see so many zombies doing such meaningful work, not like those Messican zombies taking away working class jobs from American zombies.

    Also.

  119. Zombie Brewer said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:56

    GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

  120. Zombie Nostradamus said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:57

    QUATRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  121. Zombie Air Trafffic Controller said,

    September 11, 2009 at 16:59

    PLAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  122. Zombee Katharine Lee Bates said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:01

    O beautiful for spacious skies,
    For amber waves of GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN,
    For purple mountain majesties
    Above the fruited PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

  123. Zombie 'All My Children' Viewer said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:03

    QUARTERMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINES!

  124. Zombie Dry Cleaner said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:03

    STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  125. Zombie Eeyore said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:03

    BRAYYYYYYYYYYYYINS!

  126. Zombie Underwear said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:04

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  127. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:04

    The long thread

  128. Zombie Underwear said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:06

    And the long thread PIN-IS!

  129. Zombie Electrician said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:06

    MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

  130. Twinky P said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:07

    Doug Giles’ daughter? A prostitute?

  131. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:07

    argh, frickin nyms…

  132. Zombie Brad Pitt and Zombie Angelina Jolie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:10

    BRAAAAAAAAAAAANGELINAS!

  133. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:11

    In addition to being the father of a failing prostitute, Doug Giles is also– and I use the term loosely, an artist

  134. Zombie MacBeth said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:12

    THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  135. Magritte said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:12

    This is not a comment.

  136. Dali said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:13

    I don’t MAKE comments … I AM comments.

  137. Zombie Hamlet said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:15

    DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  138. Zombie Richard III said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:16

    SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

  139. Picasso said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:17

    Comtemn thisa niots

  140. Zombie Richard III said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:17

    My kingdom for horse BRAAAAAAANES!

  141. Dittohead Dirty Harry said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:17

    Go ahead, punk… make my comment!

  142. jim said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:18

    How to make Elderberry Popguns

    I & my fellow callow thugs used to use this same principle to turn Bic pens into “Orange Guns” – & I narrowly missed nailing a substitute-teacher in the mug with one. Ah, youth – a shame it’s wasted on kids.

  143. Zombie Romeo said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:18

    Claire DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  144. Zombie Black Beauty said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:18

    MAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  145. Enough Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:20

    REFRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!

  146. Zombie David Bowie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:20

    FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

  147. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:21

    Zombie David Bowie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:20

    FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

    FTW!

    That’s going to be impossible to top…

  148. Zombie Samuel Morse said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:21

    -…
    .-.
    .-
    -.
    .
    …

  149. Zombie Lucille Ball said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:21

    MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

  150. Enough Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:22

    Zombie David Bowie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:20

    FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

    So Zombie David Bowie is no different than live David Bowie?

  151. Zombie Church Lady said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:22

    SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

  152. Zombie Pyromaniac said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:24

    FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES!

  153. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:24

    Zombie Samuel Morse said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:21

    .- .-.. – …. — ..- –. …. / – …. .- – / -.-. — — . … / -.-. .-.. — … .

  154. Zombie Marcel Marceau said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:26

     

  155. Verbose Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:30

    AS I NOW FIND MYSELF FEELING DECIDEDLY PECKISH, I BELIEVE THAT THE GURGITATION OF A SIGNIFIGANT QUANTITY OF HUMAN CEREBRAL TISSUE AS COMESTIBLES TO SATIATE MY CURRENT GASTRIC DEFICIT WOULD BE HIGHLY TOOTHSOME & REFRESHING!

  156. Zombie FYWP said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:31

    Uhoh

  157. Zombie Marcel Maceau said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:32

    ————–

  158. Zombie WordPress said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:33

    POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

  159. 9/11 Avenger said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:33

    The eighth anniversary of 9/11. There is no better day I can think of to tear you communists a new one than this. What’s the matter? Are you commie pigs that unpatriotic that one of your ever talented bloggers couldn’t put up a post honoring the victims of the 9/11 attacks?

    Oh that’s right, I almost forgot. Your sympathy and compassion is with the innocent islamic “freedom fighters” who were only “reacting” against “evil western imperialism.”

    I got something to say to you commie rat bastards on this most hallowed of days.

    THIS IS AMERICA! LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!

    You’ve just recieved a smack down by the 9/11 avenger!

    OH YEAH!

  160. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:35

    You’ve just recieved a smack down by the 9/11 avenger!

    You dishonor the memory of the people who died by claiming vengeance.

    Vengeance is the Lord’s, not yours, so shut up or be eaten.

  161. stogoe said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:35

    Did you guys hear about the tits that eat bats?

  162. jim said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:35

    Meme ache longth red?

  163. Steerpike said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:35

    Please, don’t feed the tool

  164. Zombie Michael Palin said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:36

    Customer: It’s not much of a brains shop, is it?
    Owner: Finest in the district!
    Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
    Owner: Well, it’s so clean, sir!
    Customer: It’s certainly uncontaminated by brains….

  165. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:36

    Hey 9/11 Avenger, it’s been 8 years, Bin Laden is still out there. Avenge already!!!

  166. Zombie Troofie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:36

    CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETOSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

  167. Zombie Gary Ruppert said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:41

    The fact is, BRANES!

  168. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:41

    Been feeding zombies all morning, can’t see the harm in feeding a troll now and then. After all, if anybody really needed brains it would be the troll.

  169. Zombie Stcokbroker said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:43

    GAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSS!

  170. Zombie Stcokbroker said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:44

    or “Stockbroker”, even.

    yeesh.

  171. 9/11 Avenger said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:44

    Yo actor, what up baby? Maybe you commie rat bastards should demand vengence against the barbarian hordes from the islamic dark ages instead of against you own patriotic countrymen like Bush and Cheney whose only crime was having the tenacity to defend America and avenge innocent blood.

    Maybe you punk ass bitches should go ahead and move to one of your islamic paradises. Let’s see how your sainted sacraments of gay rights and feminism are tolerated over there shall we.

    Oh yeah!

    actor 212 just recieved a smack down from the 9/11 Avenger!

    Which one of you commie bitches is next?

  172. Zombie Masochist said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:45

    PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

  173. Zombie Obama said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:45

    HUSEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIINNNNNNNS!

  174. Zombie Scooby-Doo said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:45

    RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  175. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:46

    Hey, Troofie, when you going to get a job that actually helps people on this National Day of Service?

    We’re doing our part, why aren’t you?

  176. Zombie Bowler said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:46

    LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  177. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:48

    Typical right winger: sets up a strawman argument, proceeds to demonstrate it’s made of the finest straw, then declares victory, turns tail and runs.

    Just like Bush!

  178. 9/11 Avenger said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:49

    I just pooped my pants!

  179. Archduke Arthur Blipkin-Blop said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:50

    I feel so alone

  180. Zombie Don Quixote said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:51

    SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNN!

  181. Zombie Garth said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:52

    Party on, WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYNE!

  182. Zombie George Jetson said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:53

    JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!
    Stop this crazy thing! Help!
    JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  183. Zombie Western said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:54

    Come back, SHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNEEEEEE!

  184. Zombie Cockbroker said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:54

    PEEEEEEENNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS

  185. justme said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:55

    Aw, jeez. Somebody has “adjusted” their meds.

  186. Auguste said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:55

    Maybe you punk ass bitches should go ahead and move to one of your islamic paradises.

    Okay, that’s hilarious.

  187. Zombie Rush Limbaugh said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:56

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANUS!

  188. Zombie LOLCat said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:57

    U HAZ BAAAAAAAAAAAAINS

    I WAAAAAAAAAAAANTS DEM

  189. 9/11 Avenger said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:57

    I’m helping people by laying the SMACK DOWN on you commie punk bitches!

    I can think of no better day to do so.

    What’s the matter? Why weren’t you communists on board shouting for vengence after the worst terrorist attack in American history? Are three thousand of your fellow countrymen not worthy of being avenged?

    Is it because they were citizens of capitialist Christian America that they deserved to die?

    You commie rat bastards are the first to shout for blood when our brave military men kill third world savages.

    Why the hatred against your own country?

    I already know the answer.

    You commie bitches have no sense of honor or patriotism. You scum will support anything that is destructive to American tradition and society.

    THE SMACK DOWNS KEEP A COMIN!

    OH YEAH!

  190. 9/11 Avenger said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:59

    Straw men! I gotz your straw men right here!

  191. Zombie Batman said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:59

    BOB KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  192. St. jim, Patron Saint of Bitchslapping said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:00

    9/11 Avenger said

    “Blah fuckin’ blah.”

    You’re not tearing anyone a “new one” – you’re using thousands of dead people to jerk yourself off. Sad part being you probably won’t even get a lousy orgasm out of the deal when you’re done. Enjoying it yet?

    Not too many “communists” here either, fucknut. Try an actual Communist website next time. PROTIP: Google can help you not to look like a big sack of total fail.

    The best tribute you can make to all those who died 8 years ago is to STFU & think about why they actually died. Good job failing that, too, Mighty Hero.

    After returning here for over a year, I’ve yet to see anyone here express an iota of “sympathy” for suicidal fanatics, be they Jihadi hijackers or right-wing dipshits shooting up churches. The Fail Trifecta – yours to keep & cherish!

    Oh yeah, & since I’m not in America & never have been, I need neither love nor leave it. Come on back when your nuts drop & you get something resembling a clue – meanwhile, let the nice folks have some good clean fun for a fucking change … they still haven’t found a way to tax happy yet, but walking debris like you can surely put a steep surcharge on it.

    PS – Barack Obama has now officially done an exponentially better job of protecting the USA & its citizenry than Commander Codpiece did (not that that’s really much of a feat, considering what an utter dolt he was from Day One).

    Suck. On. That.

  193. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:01

    He’d show up when I don’t have access to the badger-filter, of course.

    Zombie Pere Ubu:

    MEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDREEEEEE!

  194. Zombie Fonzie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:02

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

  195. Zombie Frenchman said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:04

    GITAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  196. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:04

    Archduke Arthur Blipkin-Blop said,

    September 11, 2009 at 17:50

    I feel so alone

    So all alone.

  197. Zombie Marilyn Vos Savant said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:04

    MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

  198. Zombie Sir Edmond Hillary said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:06

    CHILBLAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!

  199. Zombie 9/11 Victim said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:06

    Are three thousand of your fellow countrymen not worthy of being avenged?

    Is it because they were citizens of capitialist Christian America that they deserved to die?

    All the Muslim victims and Jewish victims and atheist victims and Wiccan victims on those flights and in those buildings remind you this land is a melting pot and if you can’t meld in, you’re free to leave for a more fascist country.

    Thank you.

  200. Zombie One-Leg said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:07

    CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNEEEEEEEES!

  201. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:07

    I’m still waiting for how Bush worked tirelessly to find Bin Laden, when he let the bin Ladens leave the country.

    Cuz, you know, a little blackmail goes a long way, if you’re willing to sink to torture!

  202. Noah said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:08

    RAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!

  203. Zombie Clash said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:08

    TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNN IN VAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNN!

  204. Zombie Real Estate Developer said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:09

    CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  205. Dan Someone said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:09

    9/11 Avenger

    Looks like Troofy tied a towel around his neck as a cape and is running around the living room playing superhero now….

  206. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:11

    Zombie Real Estate Developer said,
    September 11, 2009 at 18:09
    CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

    AHEM!

  207. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:12

    Looks like Troofy tied a towel around his neck as a cape and is running around the living room playing superhero now….

    Except he forgot to cut eyeholes in mom’s sleeping mask…

  208. Zombie Noah said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:12

    RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!

    (corrected nym from original post)

  209. Steerpike said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:13

    Can we go back to bread puns or something? All this tyo-shouting is making my eyeballs all hurty

  210. Zombie Orson Welles said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:13

    KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!

  211. Where's Zombie? said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:13

    Hundreds of people pretending to be zombies — but exactly one is real! Can you pick which?

  212. Zombie Priest said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:14

    FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNEEEEEEEE!

  213. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:15

    Can we go back to bread puns or something?

    Those got kind of crummy.

  214. Getting Really Fucking Tired Of All The Zombie Jokes said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:17

    INAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!

  215. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:17

    Hundreds of people pretending to be zombies — but exactly one is real! Can you pick which?

    Why does that make me think of the scene from the remake of “Dawn Of The Dead” where the guys in the mall are pointing out celebrity lookalikes for the gunstore guy across the street to shoot?

  216. Zombie Ricky Ricardo said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:17

    Lucy you got some ‘SPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAININ’ to do!

  217. ACORN Flakes: a great taste America loves said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:18

    Inbred?

  218. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:19

    Can we go back to bread puns or something?

    Those got kind of crummy.

    Also a little stale.

  219. Zombie Eliza Doolittle said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:22

    The BRAAAAAIIIIIIINESS in SPAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIN fall MAAAAAAAAAIIIIINLY on the PLAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIN

  220. kingubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:22

    where the guys in the mall are pointing out celebrity lookalikes for the gunstore guy across the street to shoot?

    That, or the scene from /Shaun of the Dead/ where the heroes try to blend in with the horde to get access to the pub. Neither one worked out terribly well for the non-zombies, as I recall.

  221. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:22

    You’re awfully crusty this morning, Wyatt.

  222. Zombie with laryngitis said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:23

    braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiins!

  223. Zombie Queen Eleanor said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:23

    AQUITAAAAAAAAAAINE!

    Troofy didn’t realise that when he heard about hitting his mother’s pot, people were talking about banging on a cooking implement.

  224. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:24

    Neither one worked out terribly well for the non-zombies, as I recall.

    I thought it was delicious satire on Romero’s part to cast a Ted Nugent look-alike as the gun store guy who gets zombified anyway.

    A look-alike shooting look-alikes. Perfect.

  225. Zombie French Bread said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:24

    PAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN

  226. Zombie Riders Of The Purple Sage said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:25

    ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE GRAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

  227. Zombie Engineer said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:25

    TRAAAAAAAAAAINS!

  228. Zombie Weaver said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:25

    SKEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIINNNNNNS!

  229. Garth said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:26

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYNE!

  230. OneMan said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:26

    Welcome to the thread. Please watch your step to avoid the harball the cat yoiked up.

  231. Zombie Nostradamus said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:26

    QUATRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIINS!

  232. Zombie CDC Worker said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:26

    STRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

  233. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:27

    OK, that was a stretch…

  234. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:28

    Zombie Nostradamus said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:26

    AHEM!

  235. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:28

    Neither one worked out terribly well for the non-zombies, as I recall.

    It never does.

  236. Zombie Physicist said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:28

    BRAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNEEEEEES!

  237. Zombie Cypress Hill said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:29

    INSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE IN THE MEMBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE

  238. zombie dracula said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:29

    VEEEEEIIIIIIIINNNNNNNS…..

  239. Looch said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:30

    Been feeding zombies all morning, can’t see the harm in feeding a troll now and then. After all, if anybody really needed brains it would be the troll.

    Na ga happen. You can try and feed a trool branes, but he ain’t gonna eat ‘em. To paraphrase and earlier comment, he’ll point to them and say, “Mom! What’s this on my plate?!”

    Of course, TroolMom will answer, “I have no idea, son.”

  240. Zombie Pharmacist said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:30

    LODRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  241. Kinder Gentler Zombie Commenter said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:30

    braaaaaaaaaanes.

  242. Zombie Abel said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:31

    CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!

  243. Zombie Dirty South said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:31

    L’il WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYNE

  244. Zombie Organic Chemist said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:32

    METHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNES!

  245. Zombie Dry Cleaner said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:34

    STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

  246. Zombie 174 Electoral Votes said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:34

    McCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN’S!

  247. Zombie Meteorologist said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:35

    RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

  248. Zombie Wilford Brimley said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:36

    BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!

  249. Zombie Glenn Beck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:38

    What’s with all the yelling and crying?

  250. Zombie Shopping List said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:40

    Buy more capital-As for the weekend.

  251. Zombie Boating enthusiasts in Vermont and New York said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:40

    LAKE CHAMPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

  252. Zombie Meeting Glenn Beck said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:40

    BRAINS! BRAAAAAAAINS!

    *grabs Bleccccch*

    *snif snif*

    *releases Blechhh*

    BRAINS! BRAAAAAINS!

  253. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:43

    You’re awfully crusty this morning, Wyatt.

    Actually, I’m a little baked.

  254. Zombie Nirvana said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:43

    COBAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINES!

  255. Zombie A.K.A said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:44

    RENAAAMMMES!

  256. Zombie Chinese Street-Magician Fan said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:44

    DAVID BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINES!

  257. Zombie Prince said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:44

    Purple RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

  258. Zombie High School Gym Class Coach said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:47

    No PAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIN, No GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIN!

  259. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:49

    Oh, forgot to mention – according to MSNBC, John “Make Shit Up” Stossel is moving over to the FAUX Network.

    I guess he finally figured out where he belonged.

  260. Zombie Sign-Holder said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:52

    Get a BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN, MORAAAAAAAAAAANS!

  261. Zombie Gold Rush Miner said,

    September 11, 2009 at 18:54

    CLAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIMS

  262. zombie james t kirk said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:01

    KHAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!

  263. Zombie Pat Sajak and Vanna White said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:03

    B R [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] N E S

  264. Marion in Savannah said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:04

    I think we have a winner here…

  265. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:06

    I WANT BUY BOWEL – URRR, I MEAN VOWEL, PAT

  266. Zombie BRAAAAAAAAANES said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:08

    You love me! You really love me!!

  267. Leet Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:08

    8R@@@@@@@@@111111111111N2!

  268. Apathetic Zombie Housewife said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:11

    Ahhh, screw it – all those brains’ll just go straight to my hips anyway.

  269. Zombie Tarzan said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:12

    JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!

  270. Zombie Desperate Housewife said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:13

    Do these BRAAAAAAAAAAANES make me look fat?

  271. Zombie Anagram said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:18

    EAAAAARNS A BAAAAAAAA!

  272. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:19

    You know, THAT’S what to do in a zombie outbreak – sit at home, turn on the radio to Limbaugh or Hannity or whoever, and turn the volume up.

    Zombies will hear the radio, figure you’re a wingnut, and leave to look for BRAAAAAAINS elsewhere.

    I mean, yeah, it means having to listen to those assclowns, but I figure we all have to sacrifice in times of crisis.

  273. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:20

    Fuck, shakesville just triggered me: http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/09/facts-about-zombies.html

  274. Zombie Troll said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:21

    LAAAAAAAAMMMMMMES

  275. Zombie Prize Committee said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:24

    B R [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] [_] N E S

    You now post in VAAAAAIIIINNNN!

  276. Zombie Joey Starrett said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:24

    SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE! Come back SHAAAAAAAAAAANE!

  277. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:24

    Umm, zommbie troll, I believe that should be:

    LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAMES

  278. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:25

    Zombie congrats to HTML!
    ~

  279. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:32

    Bonus points to the first one who comes up with a Zombie Glenn Greenwald joke.

  280. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:34

    Oh, forgot to mention – according to MSNBC, John “Make Shit Up” Stossel is moving over to the FAUX Network.

    He confirmed on his own website.

    Of course, it’s Stossel, so he still might be making shit up.

  281. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:35

    Zombie Joey Starrett said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:24

    SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE! Come back SHAAAAAAAAAAANE!

    AH-HEM!

  282. Zombie Glenn Greenwald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:35

    UPDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATES!

  283. Zombie Glenn Greenwald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:37

    I mean, yeah, it means having to listen to those assclowns, but I figure we all have to sacrifice in times of crisis.

    So the choice is lose my brain to a horde of unfeeling, cold, vicious bastards…or have a zombie eat it?

  284. Rusty Shackleford said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:37

    Yep, Zombie Pat and Vanna win.

  285. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:37

    umm, bonus points to the first one to make a GOOD Zombie Glenn Greenwald joke.

  286. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:37

    PROTIP: Check your nym before posting…

  287. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:38

    So the choice is lose my brain to a horde of unfeeling, cold, vicious bastards…or have a zombie eat it?

    That’s ALWAYS been the choice.

  288. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:38

    Somehow, I think the zombies would be less painful.

  289. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:41

    Way to make the contest much harder after publishing the directions, ZRM.
    (updated below)

    UPDATE: As happens so often on so many topics, Tom Tomorrow’s cartoon this week perfectly illustrates the “craziness” balance discussed here (click image to enlarge)
    ~

  290. Zombie Joey Starrett said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:45

    AH-HEM!

    Dammit! I knew someone must have done it. I probably didn’t include enough AAAs in my search.

  291. Thorlac said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:45

    Twas me above.

  292. Willy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 19:53

    Twas me above.

    Thorlac from above! AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

  293. Oxley said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:10

    SARBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANES

  294. Hervé Villechaize said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:15

    DE PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!!!

  295. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:20

    OT (yeah, like there’s a topic)
    Good news, the Bulldogs defeated the Lions handilly and will play in the preliminary finals next weekend. Now I just have to figure out how it can be preliminary and final at the same time. Silly Aussies.

  296. Steerpike said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:25

    Bulldogs? Lions? What is that, some who-cares faggy Euro shortpants game? Don’t you know it’s almost ROCKTOBER!

  297. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:30

    Don’t you mean SOXTOBER!

  298. ULTRAPUNDIT said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:31

    HUH INDOOD LIBS IT IS I ULTRAPUNDIT

  299. Sirius Lunacy said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:35

    What is that, some who-cares faggy Euro shortpants game?

    Not at all! It is a who-cares faggy OCEANA shortpants game!

  300. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:42

    It is a who-cares faggy OCEANA shortpants game!

    We have always been at war with Oceania.

  301. Zombie Rainier Wolfcastle said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:43

    McBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIN!

  302. Steerpike said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:44

    Sox can Sux my Rox, Dood

  303. Every Wingnut in the World said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:45

    PAAAAAAALLLIIINNNNNN 2012!

  304. Zombie Kenneth Star said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:45

    STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

  305. Zombie Posuer said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:46

    FEEEEEEEEEIGNNNNNNNN!

  306. Zombie Posuer said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:46

    or “Poseur” even.

  307. Zombie Trying to Dine at Republican Convention said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:48

    NNNOOOOOO BRAAAAAAAAINS!

  308. Zombie Jacob Marley said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:53

    CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

  309. Zombie Kansas said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:53

    PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

  310. Wyatt Watts III said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:55

    umm, bonus points to the first one to make a GOOD Zombie Glenn Greenwald joke.

    uh, how about:

    CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENEY must be MAAAAAAAAAAAAADE to EXPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN his INSAAAAAAAAAAAAANE need to DETAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIN IRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANIANS and cause them PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIN (???)

    or, uh, here’s Greenwald on

    Thomas PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIINE (???)

    okay, I got nuthin’.

  311. Republican Zombie trying to eat Terri Schiavo's brain said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:58

    Damn she’s fast!!

  312. Zombie Batman's Chiropractor said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:59

    BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!

  313. Zombie Troll said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:59

    Titties!

    Did I do it right?

  314. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:06

    Zombie Batman’s Chiropractor said,

    September 11, 2009 at 20:59

    BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!

    Okay, *sincere golf clap*

  315. Kirk Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:08

    KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

  316. Lesley said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:09

    ‘Why Are Jews Liberals?’ By Norman Podwhoretz

    Backing him up is Canadian wingnut, Daniel Greenfield: “I Do Not Know Any Liberal Jews” I can honestly say that I do not know any Liberal Jews, only the occasional “Human Being”, better known as the Obama voter. And when he says human being, he means Nazi and when he says Obama, he means Hitler.

  317. Bush Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:09

    BOOOOOOO00MB!

  318. Zombie Carrie Prejean said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:10

    BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINSSSS! NOT OPPOSIIIIIIIIIIIIITE BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINSSSS!

  319. Zombie Sarah Palin said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:11

    BRAAAAAAAAINS AAAAAAAAAAAAAALSO!

  320. Rob Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:11

    SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5cLXZJGuv4

  321. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:19

    Shouldn’t that be “Zombie Rob Zombie”?

  322. Rob Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:22

    oh shit! Did I sign the guest book wrong?

  323. Zombie Tupperware Lady said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:24

    CONTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

  324. Zombie Delusional Sex Ed Teacher said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:25

    ABSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

  325. Zombie Doug Feith, looking for new places to invade said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:29

    BAHRAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!

  326. Dain Brammaged said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:31

    Admit it, you only want me for my Dains.

  327. Zombie Bob Dylan said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:32

    Get jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaailed, jump baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail
    Join the army, if you faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail

  328. Zombie Dope Smoker said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:37

    MAINTAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!

  329. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:37

    Looks like DA got his wish. Over 300 comments.

  330. Zombie Casting Director said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:46

    Yep, this looks like the right place.

  331. Zombie actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:49

    *must get into character*

    *What is my motivation? Oh. Right….*

    BRAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAA-NES!!!!!

    *putting on tap shoes*

    I can also sing and dance.

  332. Zombie Helen Keller said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:51

    BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIILE!

  333. tigrismus said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:52

    Good God it reeks of zombie in here.

  334. Zombie Helen Keller said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:52

    Okay, so I dropped an ‘L’. I dropped my left arm, too. I’m a zombie, remember?

  335. Zombie Ken Starr said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:54

    STAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!!

  336. Zombie Ali G said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:54

    STAAAAAAAAAAAAINS MASSIVE!

  337. Zombie Coach Urban Meyer said,

    September 11, 2009 at 21:58

    EAT MY SPREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD, LOONY LIBS

  338. Zombie Billy Mays said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:03

    ZORBEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!

  339. Zombie Iris said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:03

    APPALACHIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN DEMS

  340. Zombie Emily Dickinson said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:10

    ZOMBIES must be very careful
    When they bite the brain!
    Underneath their fine incisors
    Stirs to life,—Again!

  341. Zombie Infomercial said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:13

    SCUSE yo finGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHS!

  342. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:15

    Apparently, even Joe Wilson is horning in on the zombie act.

    Nice to see how many Americans hate America, huh?

  343. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:18

    Blart.

  344. Smut Clyde said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:20

    Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    AMY
    Amy who?
    AMYGDAAALAAAAA

  345. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:23

    Relevant:

    http://blog.3bulls.net/?p=3136

  346. Pere Ubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:33

    Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    AMY
    Amy who?
    AMYGDAAALAAAAA

    VEILED Peeeeeeeeen(eal) reference.

  347. stibbert said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:38

    i have it on the best authority that British zombies don’t shamble, they glide. Also, they are quite conversible, with an advanced vocabulary that extends well beyond the “…..unnnhh, …..unnnhh” moanings of their American cousins.

  348. Lesley said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:42

    Zombies can’t compete with this portrait of Town Hall Faces.

  349. J— said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:44

    Thanks for the link to the New York Times review of Podhoretz’s book, Lesley.

  350. Lesley said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:46

    You’re welcome, or as the wingnuts say “your welcome.”

  351. Bored Limp Pacific Island Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:50

    Won’t somebody stop my mind?
    It’s crawled away I’m going blind
    The rats crawl into my head
    I can’t forget what I just said
    ‘Coz I’m (inside my brain)
    Ya know I’m living baby (inside my brain)
    I’m upstairs (inside my brain)
    There’s a hole in my head
    Inside my brain

    I see black Christmas trees
    Barbed wire, funeral homes
    I see your face, forest fires
    Rats in the streets gnawing at your bones
    ‘Coz I’m (inside my brain)
    I’m looking out yeah (inside my brain)
    But there’s a hole in my head (inside my brain)
    A brand new world there, yeah
    Inside my brain brain brain

    Welders drilling at my skull
    Subtract my life from one to null
    Hot cars and crashing sounds
    These are the things that I have found
    When I’m inside my brain
    Uh, inside my brain
    Oh, inside my brain

    Yeah baby I found a new home
    I drilled a hole in my head
    I’m looking out, yeah
    It’s a brand new world

  352. Smut Clyde said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:51

    VEILED Peeeeeeeeen(eal) reference.
    That’s a hippocampus of another colour.

  353. J— said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:54

    And I just opened Daniel Greenfield link (for some reason I wasn’t getting through earlier today). If you’re a glutton for punishment, Jonah Goldberg has an idiotic contribution to yet another online discussion of “Why Are Jews Liberal?”

  354. Bored Beatle Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:55

    I’m fixing a hole
    Where my brain gets in
    And stops my mind from wondering
    Where it will gooooo-ooo-ooo

  355. Zounds, Our Mr. Batman Is Ecstatic! said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:55

    I just wish they’d fucking resurrect me already, all this Blackest Night bullshit is harshing my mellow.

  356. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:57

    Jonah demonstrates that wonderful dogged research skill he honed on his book “Liberal Fascism: Why I Deserve More Wingnut Welfare”:

    Jonah Goldberg: Why are Jews liberal? In all its various forms, there is probably no question I get asked more. I have not yet had the pleasure of being edified by Norman Podhoretz’s take, which I’m told is a great read, so let me offer a sliver of my own answer to the question.

    (emphasis added)

  357. actor212 said,

    September 11, 2009 at 22:58

    Question for you all:

    Is Jonah Goldberg: Why are Jews liberal? the joke or the punchline?

  358. Marj Dusay said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:02

    BRANE AND BRANE. WHAT IS BRANE?

  359. Lesley said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:02

    Angry wingnut windup toys

  360. PeeJ said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:05

    FYWP
    BRANE AND BRANE! WHAT IS BRANE?

  361. Zombie Tourette's Sufferer said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:07

    Fuck you!

  362. Lesley said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:20

    a zombie fuck you would be more like fuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccck yooooooooooouuuu.

  363. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:27

    sheesh.

    You magnificent bastards. are REALLY devaluing being a zombie.

    Thanks a LOT, D.A.

  364. kingubu said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:27

    Hey, can one of you zombies go bite Larry Gelbart so he won’t be dead anymore?

    RIP, Funny Man.

  365. Bored Limp Pacific Island Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:29

    Oh, BBZ, you’re so sixties. At least I’m in the late ’70s.

  366. Bored Limp Pacific Island Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:30

    Well, my references are in the late ’70s.

  367. OneMan said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:32

    David Corn has a post up over at MoJo: teh Neocons love them some Sarah Palin

    Wow, talk about zombies. Fucking neocons need to just die, already.

  368. Smut Clyde said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:33

    You need to update your CV there.

  369. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:37

    teh Neocons love them some Sarah Palin

    Not much of a surprise – she’d be easy to convince to blow up tons of brown people, and whatever other greedy, bloodthirsty, racisty dickwaddery they have in mind.

    Blart.

  370. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:38

    I know the reason Jews are liberal. So we’re not mistaken for that Jonah douchebag.

  371. Bored Limp Pacific Island Zombie said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:41

    Naw. Dead people are the best references. They can write the nicest letters about you.

  372. Smut Clyde said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:46

    Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    ERIC
    Eric who?
    ARACHNOID MAAATEEEEER
    Yeah? Well your mater is so dura, she, um, oh look at the time.

  373. Xecky Gilchrist said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:47

    The woman who married Mr. Zadora is a pia mater.

  374. Nimrod Gently said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:56

    Q: IS IT JUST ME OR HAS THIS SITE BECOME REALLY CRYPTIC LATELY A: Bread. Bread. “Osprey housing!” Bread.

  375. Zombie Jan Brady said,

    September 11, 2009 at 23:59

    MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARCIA, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARCIA, MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARCIA!

  376. Smut Clyde said,

    September 12, 2009 at 0:00

    Jinx in the meninx!

  377. Osprey housing! said,

    September 12, 2009 at 0:09

    Lonely punchline desperately seeks compatible joke.
    No time-wasters or ‘Greek Ernes’ please.

  378. Osprey housing! said,

    September 12, 2009 at 0:14

    ENORMOUS COYPU!

  379. Pere Ubu said,

    September 12, 2009 at 0:19

    ENORMOUS COYPU!

    Kids today, calling it, you know the drill.

  380. Zombie Emily Dickinson said,

    September 12, 2009 at 0:20

    I’d make a joke about Stabat Mater, but can’t quite couch a matricide pun.

  381. Osprey housing! said,

    September 12, 2009 at 0:30

    YOU ARE NOT MY JOKE.

  382. tigrismus said,

    September 12, 2009 at 0:48

    Well la-di-da, look at the snob with his beak up in the aerie.

  383. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2009 at 0:51

    Via Mr. Atrios, porn:

    http://thinkprogress.org/2009/09/11/gingrich-porn/

  384. Substance McGravitas said,

    September 12, 2009 at 0:52

    Man, I’d click that!

  385. owlbear1 said,

    September 12, 2009 at 0:58

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Osprey Housing!

  386. idiot zombie wind said,

    September 12, 2009 at 0:59

    I just shot a man named GRAAAAAAAAAAY
    and took his wife to ITALAAAAAAAAAY

  387. The Zombies said,

    September 12, 2009 at 1:27

    it’s too late to say you’re sorry
    how would I know, why should I care?

  388. Lesley said,

    September 12, 2009 at 1:38

    http://earthfirst.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/health-care-protest.jpg

    Thank god your zombies need passports to enter Canada, not that they ever would.

  389. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2009 at 1:38

    Wow, zrm’s gone Broadway!

    Deal with it, dancing skeleton!

  390. Zombie Skip James said,

    September 12, 2009 at 1:51

    CROW JAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!

  391. Zombie 9/11 Avenger said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:08

    The eighth anniversary of 9/11. There is no better day I can think of to tear you communists a new one than this. What’s the matter? Are you commie pigs that unpatriotic that one of your ever talented bloggers couldn’t put up a post honoring the victims of the 9/11 attacks?

    Oh that’s right, I almost forgot. Your sympathy and compassion is with the innocent islamic “freedom fighters” who were only “reacting” against “evil western imperialism.”

    I got something to say to you commie rat bastards on this most hallowed of days.

    THIS IS AMERICA! LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!

    You’ve just recieved a smack down by the 9/11 avenger!

    OH YEAH!

    Opps. I require disipline.
    http://www.theonion.com/content/video/americans_observing_9_11_by?utm_source=a-section

  392. SomeNYGuy said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:09

    I’m celebrating 9/11 by getting bombed and collapsing.

  393. Pere Ubu said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:19

    I’m still totally unclear even after eight years exactly WHY today is “Patriot Day/”.

    I mean, WTF?

  394. St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:20

    I’m still totally unclear even after eight years exactly WHY today is “Patriot Day/”.

    It’s a bumper-sticker sized contraction of “Scream that no liberal can possibly be a patriot and should therefore be shot day.”

  395. Zombie Prize Committee said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:21

    Via Mr. Atrios, porn:

    Ha! Newtie unwittingly sends a porn distributor an “Entrepreneur of the Year Award.” His crack team of staffers for whatever sleazy front group is involved then receives word that said company is dealing in pr0n and begins furiously backpedaling claiming that the wrong number was faxed to even though the right company was contacted. Or something.

    Hard to EXPLAAAAAAAAAAIN.

    AHEMs duly noted prophylactically. Also.

  396. tigrismus said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:24

    I’m still totally unclear even after eight years exactly WHY today is “Patriot Day/”.

    “Obama Has Totally Busted W’s Record For Days Not Being Attacked By Terrorists Since He took Office Day”

  397. Zombie Kolonel Klink said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:32

    HOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

  398. smut said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:33

    W’s Record For Days Not Being Attacked By Terrorists
    Totally unfair comparison. Bush, after all, was hindered by political opponents who rejected the legitimacy of his election and did everything they could to delay his appointments to the government.

  399. Pere Ubu said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:39

    Totally unfair comparison. Bush, after all, was hindered by political opponents who rejected the legitimacy of his election and did everything they could to delay his appointments to the government.

    How horrible that people would stand in the way of America’s business like that. *huff* Thank god we don’t have to worry about that any more.

  400. Zombie Commie Rat Bastard said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:42

    …hindered by political opponents who rejected the legitimacy of his election and did everything they could to delay his appointments…

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT! a gosh darn Red minute here. You wanna talk about legitimacy-questioning and appointment-delaying, what about our current Pres—

    Ahh, I see what you did there. My rat-like brain limits my sense of irony.

  401. What's My Nym, Kitsch? said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:55

    Oh yes: And better trollz, please, also.

  402. Zombie Tyrant Porn Dragon-King Wangchuck, Right Hand of the Jew said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:57

    Good thing all Jews are left-handed because Eeeuuuwww. Oh wait, that means I’m the Kleenex stuffed catcher. Eeeeuuuwwww. Also, BRAAAANNNEEES.

  403. Zombie Long Island said,

    September 12, 2009 at 3:06

    Terminal MorAAAAAAAINE!!!

  404. Zombie Miracle Max said,

    September 12, 2009 at 3:11

    He clearly said “to BLAAAAAANES”.

  405. Zombie Bom Dot Bust said,

    September 12, 2009 at 3:11

    KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!

  406. SomeNYGuy said,

    September 12, 2009 at 3:15

    I’m not saying this thread is absurd, but purple monkey dishwasher.

  407. Zombie Wolves by the Light of a Gibbous Moon said,

    September 12, 2009 at 3:16

    BAAAAAAAAYING!

  408. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2009 at 3:18

    I’m not saying this thread is absurd, but purple monkey dishwasher.

    It’s been a melancholy day, we all needed to blow off some STEAAAAAAAAAM!

  409. Zombie on the Internets, Trying to Allude to Something in a Not Very Subtle Way said,

    September 12, 2009 at 3:20

    Just SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYIN’

  410. Zombie Tyrant Porn Dragon-King Hussein Wangchuck, esquire said,

    September 12, 2009 at 3:27

    OMFG! I could not believe that this could possibly be real – but it sure looks like the actual real web site of Tony Zirkle, crusader against Pr0n and for Hitler. Speaking of which, for a thread with Tony Zirkle in it, there’s an awful dearth of Hitler. Also Hitler. Oh and Ha Ha Zirkle!

  411. zombie kingubu said,

    September 12, 2009 at 3:30

    Does this bite look infected?

  412. McJohn said,

    September 12, 2009 at 3:50

    SomeNYGuy said,

    September 12, 2009 at 2:09

    “What, once and then again twenty minutes later?”

    (I didn’t say it. But I’m headed for eternal damnation because I told it to you.)

  413. Randy Diedrichson, Winner of the Design Competition said,

    September 12, 2009 at 3:55

    Am I the only one here who has ever tried to circumcize himself using only the power of his mind? It’s exhausting, and I gotta tell you, my glans is still hooded. This is bullshit.

  414. Randy Diedrichson, Winner of the Design Competition said,

    September 12, 2009 at 3:56

    And I spelled circumcise wrong. Fuck it, I’m getting a piece of chert. Flake the damn thing and take care of business.

  415. tigrismus said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:03

    You know, I keep thinking this thread is called “Me Thread You Long Time.” DAMMIT.

    Am I the only one here who has ever tried to circumcize himself using only the power of his mind?

    Yeah, well just try mentally circumcising your penis when you don’t even have one. I can tell you right now that NO catalogs sell open-pollinated penis seeds, either.

  416. Randy Diedrichson, Winner of the Design Competition said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:10

    Wait, Tigrismus, are you telling me you’re female, or an enunch? Because either way, that’s hawt. No, hawt.

  417. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:14

    I can tell you right now that NO catalogs sell open-pollinated penis seeds, either.

    Well, you can always buy a Whizzinator and proceed from there.

  418. Zombie Irish Epic said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:15

    TAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN BO CUAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILNGE!

  419. tigrismus said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:17

    There are girl zombies AND eunuch zombies here. Also: zombie gardeners. Hit them with the shovel as much as you want, they keep coming up just like weeds.

    Well, you can always buy a Whizzinator and proceed from there.

    Hmm, that and a weed whacker…

  420. Zombie Hound of Ulster said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:23

    TAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN BO CUAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILNGE!

    CuchulAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!

  421. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:25

    Hmm, that and a weed whacker…

    Maybe you should start off with a pizza cutter, in order to develop the fine motor control.

  422. Randy Diedrichson, Winner of the Design Competition said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:29

    These Irish zombies get drunk and the next thing you know they’re pissing brains in the Corrib at Claddagh Quay and shouting in dead Gaelic. It makes me… Hell, wish I was in Ireland.

  423. Lesley said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:29

    From Alternet

    Book Says Obama’s Life Is at Risk
    By Christopher Moraff, The Philadelphia Tribune. Posted September 11, 2009.

    Author Ronald Kessler warns that the rise in threats and inadequate govt. resources may be putting the commander in chief at risk.

    Editor’s Note: With Obama the target of hate speech and over 30 death threats a day, the FBI needs to hear that it can’t let budget shortfalls get in the way of the president’s life. Will you join AlterNet and Credo and sign a petition calling for the FBI to do everything necessary to confront threats to Obama and expand and fully fund efforts to protect the president of the United States?

    [...]

    In his best-selling new book, “In the President’s Secret Service,” journalist Ronald Kessler says the increased threat environment along with inadequate resources have led to a culture of “corner cutting” at the Secret Service that may be putting the commander in chief at risk.

  424. tigrismus said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:30

    Maybe you should start off with a pizza cutter, in order to develop the fine motor control.

    I have a Dremel for the detail work.

  425. Zombie Dixie Chicks said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:33

    Natalie MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNESSSSSS!!!

  426. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:37

    I have a Dremel for the detail work.

    Mohel with a Dremel- I know, I know it’s serious.

  427. Mohel with a Dremel said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:41

    Dremel, Dremel, Dremel bought in the hardware store.
    And when I’ve cut the foreskin, I’ll go and cut some more.

  428. Zombie Tyrant Porn Dragon-King Hussein Wangchuck, esquire said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:43

    I had a little Dremel
    I used it on some wood
    And when I spun that Dremel
    My PENS it feels so good.

    Dremel Dremel Dremel
    I stuck you ‘tween my legs
    To rout out underneath the flap
    And clean out all the smeg

  429. Randy Diedrichson, Winner of the Design Competition said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:46

    Christ almighty, my pecker just retracted into my abdomen and now there’s only a little pucker like the end of a hot dog. Thanks a lot, Bastard.

    Also, Lesley? Way to kill my buzz. Because I always end up walking behind wherever Obama is speaking (it’s a coincidence), and you know that rifle scope POV shot that has the crosshairs in the middle, and the camera zooms in and kinds of sweeps around until it finds a human target, corrects, and when it stabilizes, we see the actor playing the prominent political figure? But after the insert of the assassin’s finger tightening on the trigger, with maybe a matching insert of the assassin’s eye on the scope, we see the politician all of a sudden lurch or go to pick something up, and there’s a bang and in the scope we see some poor schmuck in the background take the bullet? That guy is me. So knock it the fuck off! Also.

  430. Mohel with a Dremel said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:49

    Thanks a lot, Bastard.

    Hey, I have to live up to the nym!

  431. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:50

    Hey, I have to live up to the nym!

    Uh… Ignore the man behind the cretin.

  432. OneMan said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:51

    Circumcising yourself, via the power of the mind or otherwise: that’s nuthin’.

    Try thinking yourself into growing your foreskin back. I mean, nobody asked me what I wanted.

    Nothing in the hardware store for that. I’ve looked.

  433. Smut Clyde said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:54

    My Dremel grinds over my foreskin
    My Dremel grinds over my fre-
    num; Dremel grinds over my scrotum
    For pleasure my Dremel’s the key.

  434. Zombie Tyrant Porn Dragon-King Hussein Wangchuck, esquire said,

    September 12, 2009 at 4:55

    Nothing in the hardware store for that. I’ve looked.

    Dremel is your one-stop shop.

  435. Zombie Tyrant Porn Dragon-King Hussein Wangchuck, esquire said,

    September 12, 2009 at 5:02

    Drem-el. Rotary power tool.
    Spinning for to carry me home.

    I looked over PENIS, what did I see?
    Spinning for to carry me home.
    A foreskin covering the tip of my wee,
    Spinning for to carry me home.

  436. Zombie CEO said,

    September 12, 2009 at 5:03

    BRAAAAANES R US

    http://engrishfunny.com/2009/09/09/engrish-brains/

  437. Zombie Mohel said,

    September 12, 2009 at 5:03

    BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!

  438. Smut Clyde said,

    September 12, 2009 at 5:07

    BRAAAIIINSS Skull Attack!!

  439. OneMan said,

    September 12, 2009 at 5:08

    I been workin’ with the Dremel
    All the livelong day
    I been workin’ with the Dremel
    Just to grind that ’skin away

    Can’t you hear the motor whirring
    Risin’ up so early in the morn (in the morn)
    Can’t you hear the “captain” shouting
    “Baby grind that horn!”

  440. tigrismus said,

    September 12, 2009 at 5:10

    Nothing in the hardware store for that. I’ve looked.

    Try your local knitting store.

  441. Pere Ubu said,

    September 12, 2009 at 5:25

    WE’RE COMING TO GET YOU, BARBARA!

  442. Horse Of Another Colour said,

    September 12, 2009 at 5:46

    That’s a hippocampus of another colour

    whoa. wait! what? There’s some other horse running around….
    nevermind. Wrong hippo.

  443. Liberty University said,

    September 12, 2009 at 6:06

    Wrong campus.

  444. Horse Of Another Colour said,

    September 12, 2009 at 6:10

    Wrong campus

    Wouldn’t Liberty U. be a “Right” campus?

  445. Zombie Eliza Doolittle said,

    September 12, 2009 at 6:17

    The raaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiin in Spaaaaaaiiin stays maaaaaaaaiiiinly in the plaaaaaaaaaaaaiiin.

  446. Another Zombie Natalie said,

    September 12, 2009 at 6:17

    10,000 Maaaaaaaaaaaaaniacs

  447. Randy Diedrichson, Winner of the Design Competition said,

    September 12, 2009 at 6:27

    BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS! HAHAHAHAHA oh i pissed

  448. Jennifer said,

    September 12, 2009 at 7:54

    You know, you guys are just begging for another round of Foreskin Holocausts.

    Do. Not. Go. There.

  449. St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,

    September 12, 2009 at 8:42

    Do. Not. Go. There.

    Fo’ Shoah.

  450. triozyg zombie said,

    September 12, 2009 at 9:12

    canadian zombie science (really, conclusion is they take over the world unless you kill them right away and fast):

    http://www.tgdaily.com/content/view/43669/181/

  451. triozyg zombie said,

    September 12, 2009 at 9:17

    actual paper from statistician with too much time on hand (or maybe a pathological fear of zombies):

    http://www.mathstat.uottawa.ca/~rsmith/Zombies.pdf

    No pictures of zombies, but lot’s of equations and a couple of nice graphs — references helpful as survival guide.

  452. triozyg zombie said,

    September 12, 2009 at 9:18

    Z

  453. triozyg zombie said,

    September 12, 2009 at 9:19

    O (i am not posting too quickly FWP — you just can’t keep up with zombies!)

  454. triozyg zombie said,

    September 12, 2009 at 9:20

    M

  455. triozyg zombie said,

    September 12, 2009 at 9:21

    BIES (FYWP — gahd i have the attention span of a two year old)

  456. Zombie Ludwig Boltzmann said,

    September 12, 2009 at 9:21

    BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS

  457. Smut Clyde said,

    September 12, 2009 at 11:24

    I love to go, a Dremeling
    To shave my hairy crack
    I may go blind, but still I grind
    Around my scrotal sack.

    Et cetera.

  458. Osprey housing! said,

    September 12, 2009 at 11:33

    BE THE SMALL BOOKCASE

  459. Constipated Zombie said,

    September 12, 2009 at 14:16

    BRAAAAAAAAAANS

  460. Zombie Gonch said,

    September 12, 2009 at 18:05

    HAAAAAAAAAAAAANES!

  461. Zombie Feedback said,

    September 12, 2009 at 18:06

    GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

  462. Zombie Stoner said,

    September 12, 2009 at 18:13

    DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!

  463. Zombie Corgi said,

    September 12, 2009 at 18:17

    - – - – - – - – - – - – - -

  464. Zombie Pervert said,

    September 12, 2009 at 18:18

    I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!

  465. Zombie Mathematician said,

    September 12, 2009 at 18:20

    AAAAAAAAAA = AAAAAAAAAA!

  466. Horse Of Another Colour said,

    September 12, 2009 at 18:23


    ‘That’s my point! There’s not going to be five, or even ten! There’s going to be twenty, thirty, maybe a hundred of those things, and as soon as they find out we’re here, this place’ll be crawling with them!

  467. Zombie Canadian Wingnut said,

    September 13, 2009 at 3:57

    STEEEYYYNNSSSS

  468. Zombie Foreskins said,

    September 16, 2009 at 9:38

    OH THE PAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

Leave a Comment

  • Things of Interest

  • Meta Goodness

  • Clunkers

    • httpbl_stats()