Sep
8
8
Sprechen Sie Sprachregelung?
Shorter Robert Stacy vonCain, The Other McCain
On Jews and Liberals
- The only way to get Jews to vote Republican is to move them out of big cities, if you know what I mean.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Pere Ubu said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:26
The Republican Party is chiefly devoted to political policies having nothing specifically to do with evangelical Christianity. Yet there is an entire industry of liberal propagandists who specialize in seeking out various outre pronouncements of “Religious Right” leaders and presenting these views as if they would become firm policy in the next Republican administration.
*snicker*
*guffaw*
…
HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW
*gasp, wipe eyes*
. . .
HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW
unnnnn,,, *catches breath*
Heh. And his point was… what, again?
(Oh, and also – bonus DUMBSHIT WINGNUT POINTS for the banner ad he (he?) has over there with the “TERROR IN THE HEARTLAND” and the terrorist cell of Tebaggers blather. Yeah, laugh it up now, Chuclenuts; we’ll be tattooing that shit on your forehead when the next tim McVeigh comes along and you try to pull the “BUT WE DI’NT DO NUTHIN’!” shit you fuckclowns did back in ‘95. Count on it.”
John Leguizamo said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:31
So why the picture of Richard Herring?
Pere Ubu said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:37
“chuclenuts” – the new candy! Look for it at a bodega near you!
And I can see Mr. McCain’s reaction to any comments about suchlike as Bible-based abstinence programs encouraged by the government and Creationist propaganda in national parks – “OH WELL that’s just individual initiative! Nobody in the government REQUIRED that so I’m right! HAW HAW blurp blurp blurp *rustles papers*”. Never mind the Christian nuttery in the Bush Administration gave these people the green light. I could probably think of more, but I gotta go oil the gears of capitalism with my worker’s blood.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:39
He makes conservatism sound like something you grow into, rather than it growing on you like a fungus.
Lunch Lady said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:41
Cheer up, kid. That’s just parsley.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:41
The only way to get Jews to vote Republican is to move them out of big cities, if you know what I mean.
Perhaps McCain and his ilk could round them up and pack them off to some sort of “summer camp”, where they could all bunk together and shower together and…
Oh. I guess that was the point of the shorter.
J— said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:41
Yes! A new Birobidzhan for the 21st century.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:44
Yes! A new Birobidzhan for the 21st century.
Well, Oblastdi, Oblastda, life goes on, bra.
cowalker said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:52
Doesn’t this sound like the basis for a sitcom?
Yes, all those liberal lies claiming that Republicans tried to impeach Clinton over lying about a blow job have taken their toll. And how can those young people fail to observe all the Republican politicians calling for the legalization of same-sex marriage and adoption by same-sex couples? Are they unaware of the proud Republican history of fighting for the “liberalization” of laws involving sexual behavior?
Flying Fox said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:54
Yes, if only Jews moved out of big cities, like my grandparents and great-uncles and aunts did before and after world war II. They’d vote Republican alright, like my Great Uncle who became Democratic Party Boss of Essex County.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:57
If Messrs. Podhorhetz, et al., wish to promote conservatism among American Jews, let them find some way to encourage Jewish families to move to small towns in the Heartland, where their kids can grow up hunting, fishing and hot-rodding the backroads.
Except Saturdays, and many major religious holidays.
Doesn’t this sound like the basis for a sitcom?
“Deer Jew”?
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:59
I’m thinking the whole “diaspora” construct the Republican commentariat is hoping for is not, as Inigo Montoya might put it, “what they think it will be.”
Note the Census statistic as it pertains to economics.
Michael G. said,
September 8, 2009 at 15:59
You can file this on with the “why do black people hate Republicans?” stack over there.
But, that would lose the brilliant “liberal propaganda has convinced young people that Republicans are no fun” angle.
Hell, I’m complaining that that fact didn’t make the shorter.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:02
hot-rodding is a Republican value?
another jim said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:02
Holy hell. Second “shorter” gut laugh in as many days.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:04
hot-rodding is a Republican value?
Funny cars for funny guys.
Paul T. Lazaro said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:09
America’s Heartlanders will be sooo welcoming to Moishe and Schmule, don’t you think? This idea cannot fail!
Vacuumslayer said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:09
Coming to Fox this Fall: “Savin’ Our Bacon”
What will those crazy Jews do next?
LittlePig said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:10
“Did Jew See That??”
LittlePig said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:10
“Leave It To Baruch”
LittlePig said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:12
“Torah, Dang It, Nights: The Legend Of Reinhold Bubbeleh”
Paul T. Lazaro said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:13
“Hee-OY”: The new 1 hour variety show with Buck Owenski.
“I’m a pickin’…and I’m a plotzing!”
Vacuumslayer said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:13
“We’re in a Kosher Pickle Now!”
JD Rhoades said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:14
“Jew Eat Yet?”
CapMidnight said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:15
<vroom!> “That wuz th General Levin! …oooh, them Dukestein boys!!”
mingo said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:15
Doesn’t this sound like the basis for a sitcom?
Pol Pot Junction?
Khmer Rouge Acres?
Vacuumslayer said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:15
This thread has great potential for nonstop hilarity.
Vacuumslayer said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:16
No, Jew?
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:16
“The Dukes of Hasid”
(hat tip to Capn Midnight)
LittlePig said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:17
hot-rodding is a Republican value?
That’s quite the tell right there. Stacy (That Is My Name) McCain thinks that is still a viable term down this way, whereas I haven’t heard the word since the last time I saw a Frankie and Annette Beach movie.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:17
M*O*I*S*H*E
(with apologies to H*Y*M*A*N K*A*P*L*A*N)
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:18
whereas I haven’t heard the word since the last time I saw a Frankie and Annette Beach movie.
Was that “Beach Blanket Bingo,” with real bingo players from West Palm?
Paul T. Lazaro said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:18
Actor212 is practically swimming in Win.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:20
It’s a shtick, but thanks.
Joe Max said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:21
Ah, it’s “Conservative Communism” again!
“During the Cultural Revolution, the schools in China were closed and the young intellectuals living in cities were ordered to the countryside to be “re-educated” by the peasants, where they performed hard manual labor and other work.” (Wikipedia)
Citizen_X said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:21
“The Bubbeleh Hillbilies”
Paul T. Lazaro said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:22
“Jewberry RFD.” Watch what Barney Fivel, the bumbling tumler, gets up too…
Vacuumslayer said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:22
Jenkins & Finkelstein: Simple Country Lawyers
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:24
“The Bubbeleh Hillbilies”
How did I miss that???
Olexicon said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:26
Moishe?
Wasn’t that a sitcom with Brandy?
Joe Max said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:27
“Hot-rodding the back roads…” heh heh heh…
Oooo baby…
LittlePig said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:28
Nope, M*O*I*S*H*E is the story of a West Bank military hospital with the wacky hijinks of Hawkeye Pavel and Trapper Yacob.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:28
“Kung Jew”
“The Wizard of Oy” (OK, it’s a movie, but still…)
“Satmar Night Live”
Joe Max said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:29
I prefer my sitcoms with a single-malt scotch.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:30
As Lenny Bruce famously said “If you live in NYC, you’re Jewish. If you live in Butte Montana, even if you’re Jewish, you’re a goy”
mingo said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:33
I guess that should be “Greenberg Acres”, but my first thought on reading that RSM staement was “The Killing Fields”.
J— said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:33
“The Schnooks of Hazard.”
tigrismus said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:35
Moishe?
Wasn’t that a sitcom with Brandy?
No, The Bronstein Bunch: “Moishe Moishe Moishe!”
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:38
“Moishe Moishe Moishe!”
How do you like it, how do you like your looooooox?
tigrismus said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:39
where their kids can grow up hunting, fishing and hot-rodding the backroads.
Why, your kids could have the rabbits and catfish they can eat!
J— said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:43
What could have been.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:43
where their kids can grow up hunting, fishing and hot-rodding the backroads.
They really don’t get the Jewish thing, do they?
Son of a Rich said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:45
“Hebrew Ha Ha”
Bitter Scribe said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:45
Maybe we could encourage Jews to “move to the Heartland” by establishing an Office of American Absorption.
Mr. Wonderful said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:56
The Simpsonsteins
Eight is Genug
Freunds
Beavis and Bubbie
…and the one show we would NEVER watch:
Third Reich From the Sun
Uncertainty Vice Principal said,
September 8, 2009 at 16:59
The best part was “People tend to vote how they live”
So aside from the easy satirical target there (you mean that people go into voting booths and throw empty beer cans all over it, watch TV for a few hours and then pass out in there?) there’s the pure idiotic falsity of such a statement, metaphors aside.
People vote how they live? So all of those dirt-poor working class people who voted for John McCain are really mutil-millionaires and are keeping that a secret? All of the ones who voted for Bush, for Reagan?
And conversely, all of the limousine liberals who voted for unions, minority rights, are all really working class union members and poor minorities themselves?
People do tend to write how they think, however, thus this guy’s brain pan must be a complete mess.
noen said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:08
“Hot-rodding the back roads…”
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Navel Chamberpot, arch-appeaser said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:09
Does Manischewitz come in six-packs?
noen said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:11
A Jew in the sun.
Michael G. said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:14
People do tend to write how they think, however, thus this guy’s brain pan must be a complete mess.
Yeah, good point. This is one of those “people don’t like us because we’re misunderstood, not because our ideas are repugnant.”
noen said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:15
I lack sufficient knowledge of Yiddish to parody it but Bonanza seems ripe with possibilities to me.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:18
Dos Unterkleyd Junction
Michael G. said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:21
He (brew) Haw
H. Rumbold, Master Barber said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:22
Look at how well moving to the heartland worked for the Mexicans.
Jadegold said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:26
Oy.
Phillip Roth should sue McCain.
The Plot Against America:
“”Fear presides over these memories, a perpetual fear. Of course, no childhood is without its terrors, yet I wonder if I would have been a less frightened boy if Lindbergh hadn’t been president or if I hadn’t been the offspring of Jews.” This is the opening paragraph of the book, which sets the stage and tone for all that follows. Fear is palpable throughout; fear of things both real and imagined. A central event of the novel is the relocation effort made through the Office of American Absorption, a government program whereby Jews would be placed, family by family, across the nation, thereby breaking up their neighborhoods–ghettos–and removing them from each other and from any kind of ethnic solidarity. The impact this edict has on Philip and all around him is horrific and life-changing. Throughout the novel, Roth interweaves historical names such as Walter Winchell, who tries to run against Lindbergh. The twist at the end is more than surprising–it is positively ingenious.”
Michael G. said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:26
Or look at how migration trends turned Virginia and North Carolina blue. And at how even Georgia was having some problems, especially around Atlanta.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:29
Belly up to the Bar Mitzvah?
Interrobang said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:30
Leave us not forget everyone’s favourite variety show, Grand Ole Ofra.
Maybe there’d be more Jews living outside of big cities if people in the sticks weren’t like my relatives. Seems to me that if the people you live around hate your guts for irrational and stupid reasons, you’re not likely to stay put. To paraphrase someone here, my relatives are the big box of Ignant McNuggets, and there’s an entire McIgnant’s where that came from.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:31
I lack sufficient knowledge of Yiddish to parody it but Bonanza seems ripe with possibilities to me.
I give you The Ballad Of Irving: The 42 Fastest Gun In The West
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:32
Argh, the “142nd Fastest Gun In The West”!
pedestrian said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:38
Hell, if you can get them to move to Florida, they’ll vote for Pat Buchanan.
What’s old is new again!
Right Wing Religious Nut said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:42
Seems to me that if the people you live around hate your guts for irrational and stupid reasons, you’re not likely to stay put.
What’s irrational about hating people who KILLED OUR LORD JESUS!?!?!?!
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:47
“American Yidol”
Prudence Goodwife said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:50
World’s Greatest Jew?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenny_Bernstein
Pere Ubu said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:53
Oh, yeah, especially after the skinheads have been so helpful about informing America’s Heartland’s farmers about how ZOG took their farms away from them.
Nope, can’t see how that could go horribly wrong, either.
Tata said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:55
“Sealed With A Kishka”
mingo said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:55
Yentl Ben
Pere Ubu said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:55
Argh.
That comment was in response to “Paul T. Lazaro September 8, 2009 at 16:09″
rassin’ frassin’…
Tata said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:57
“Run, Rabbi, Run”
Pere Ubu said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:57
So all of those dirt-poor working class people who voted for John McCain are really mutil-millionaires and are keeping that a secret? All of the ones who voted for Bush, for Reagan?
For Buchanan, f’crissake.
Snorghagen said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:00
While you’re laughing, Norman Lear is DEMONIZING.
Ted the Slacker said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:03
By this logic, if you move teh negrahs and mooslims and gheys out of the cities and into Minorityvilles, they’ll also vote GOP?
Newbie McNoob said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:04
I’ll be generous in my interpretation of the “Other McCain’s” remarks (one McCain is quite sufficient, thank you) by suggesting he meant to support an American version of the Pale of Settlement:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pale_of_Settlement
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:04
mingo said,
September 8, 2009 at 17:55
Yentl Ben
*passing torch given by Paul Lazaro*
Here. You deserve this more than I…
The Tragically Flip said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:06
It’s funny to see their wailing and gnashing of teeth over the sting of rejection from 1.7% of the population. They just can’t understand why Jews just won’t vote for them, and it clearly really eats at them.
Substance McGravitas said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:07
And that’s before the wetsuits and dildos! Exponential squared! Cubed even!
SomeNYGuy said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:09
“Yids Say the Darndest Things”
“Mel ‘n’ Rose’s Place”
“America’s Funniest Home Circumcisions”
Substance McGravitas said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:09
Dear THE JEWS: here is what you don’t understand, dummies.
mingo said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:09
*passing torch given by Paul Lazaro*
Here. You deserve this more than I…
{blushes}
Substance McGravitas said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:10
Gefilte Fishing in America
Rusty Shackleford said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:11
The Chattanooga Jewbillies
Paul T. Lazaro said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:12
Mingo is now sopped in Winness!111!!
El Cid said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:12
A new market surge for jewing tobacco?
SomeNYGuy said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:12
“Are You Smarter than a Yeshiva Bocher?”
PeeJ said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:13
And that’s before the wetsuits and humorless dildos!
Diaskuesated.
J— said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:14
Mr. President, I want to be on the debate team!
Rusty Shackleford said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:16
King of the Hillel
Rusty Shackleford said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:17
Hogan’s Pastramis on Rye
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:17
Rusty Shackleford said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:16
King of the Hillel
Hillel Street Blues
L A Law
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:18
How I Met Your Mohle
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:19
Excuse me, that should have been “El Al Law,” altho LA Law works, too…
77south said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:20
wasn’t there an Onion article a few years ago:
Fox executives defend showing controversial “When Jews Attack”
Nom de Plume said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:20
I Dream of Shiksa
Rusty Shackleford said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:21
America’s Funniest Banality of Evil
Mike D said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:23
Did anyone else notice this: “The simplest way to define conservatism is this: The belief that liberalism is wrong.” Is that as stupid as it sounds?
jim said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:27
Relocating Jews?
He thinks that’ll make them love the GOP?
Holy fucking fuck.
If Jesus ever DOES return, he’s gonna need a constant stream of full ice-buckets for his hands from all the high-velocity bitch-slapping he’s going to have to lay down on his flock.
If I was a rural American, I’d seriously consider hunting this guy like quail. As someone who’s done the whole living-in-the-boonies thing, I can tell you: trying to paint country folks as noble savages isn’t going to win you major brownie-points with them.
I’ve had pets who showed more decency & intellectual rigor than Stazi McCain.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:28
Is that as stupid as it sounds?
Yes and no – it’s perfectly accurate, therefore not-stupid, but actually holding that belief is stupid. And the very archetype of reactionary.
Michael G. said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:29
Did anyone else notice this: “The simplest way to define conservatism is this: The belief that liberalism is wrong.” Is that as stupid as it sounds?
Wow. It’s the new “standing athwart history.” But it also opens a new line of attack: I’m a liberal, and I believe that you can’t hold your breath for ten minutes. Prove me wrong.
vacuumslayer said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:30
What happens when a city slicker moves South and partners with a good old boy attorney? You get Jenkins & Goldstein: Simple Country Lawyers And then you wait for the kookiness to ensue!!
Xecky Gilchrist said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:31
But it also opens a new line of attack: I’m a liberal, and I believe that you can’t hold your breath for ten minutes. Prove me wrong.
There is a distinction between what liberalism believes and what individual liberals believe. Then again, people who buy that simplest definition aren’t clever enough to spot it, so that’ll probably work.
Citizen_X said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:33
Well, if this project didn’t work out well, the show could be called “Ltttle Maus on the Prarie.”
SomeNYGuy said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:35
“High Shul Musical”
Nom de Plume said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:38
Let’s Macht A Frei
Okay, I’m scraping.
Citizen_X said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:38
(And, of course, h/t to CBC for actually coming up with a very popular show by doing this very same idea with, shall we say, a different Abrahamic religion.)
vacuumslayer said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:39
That actually made me chuckle out loud.
tigrismus said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:40
“Hogan’s Hebrews”: Inglourious Basterds meets Stalag 17
vacuumslayer said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:41
STOP! My sides, my sides!
The Tragically Flip said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:42
Did anyone else notice this: “The simplest way to define conservatism is this: The belief that liberalism is wrong.” Is that as stupid as it sounds?
It is more evidence that conservatives actually don’t really know what they believe, or why. Hence why we call them “reactionaries.’ They’ve been struggling for decades to describe the deeper philisophical roots of their ideology, and all they can come up with is “smaller government”, “freedom” etc. Meaningless dreck.
PopeRatzo said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:43
I don’t have a gun rack in my pickup, but I keep a loaded H&K under the seat of my Prius.
I do like that Stacy put the term “pro-ignorance” in play as a description of American conservative thought. It’s perfect, really.
Alex said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:46
Alternate shorter: “If only we could convince jews that persecuting niggers, faggots and Messicans like we country folk do is in their best interest, they’d vote Republican.”
SomeNYGuy said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:47
“The Wide World of Schwartz”
Heretic said,
September 8, 2009 at 18:50
Oh, come on, no one’s got this yet?
Jew Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Tata said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:02
C. S. Oy.
Basharov said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:03
“Little Synagogue on the Prairie”
Marion in Savannah said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:05
“The Wide World of Schwartz”
SomeNYGuy owes me a new keyboard, and it’s going to take weeks to get the coffee out of my sinuses….
Willy said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:09
Oy Spy.
The Tragically Flip said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:11
“Little Synagogue on the Prairie”
It’s been done.
Willy said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:12
The Ghost and Mrs. Mohel.
Matzoh, She Wrote.
Tata said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:13
King Biscuit Matzoh Flour Hour
Tata said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:13
Dude!
Willy said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:14
“Little Synagogue on the Prairie”
It’s been done.
Little Kibbutz on the Prairie?
DBR said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:14
Lox in Space
Tata said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:17
Chaim In Charge.
The Tragically Flip said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:19
My goyim effort:
Matzohlock
SomeNYGuy said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:26
“Bowling for Talis”
“Sex and the Shtetl”
“Ugly Mindy”
Tata said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:32
Father Knows Goldfarb
Michael G. said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:35
Mad about Jew — A light-hearted comedy about the pogroms in Russia.
smedley said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:36
“I lack sufficient knowledge of Yiddish to parody it but Bonanza seems ripe with possibilities to me”
Let’s see: Ben…check. Adam…check. Joe….check. Hoss?
smedley said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:40
“Seinfeld”
El Cid said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:41
Matlox
El Cid said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:41
Mayberry JDL
tigrismus said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:42
Hoss?
=>”Ferd”
Alkali Bill said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:48
This week is starting off nicely.
Looch said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:50
Oy. This thread is leaving me speechless…from laughter.
I don’t know…Batman and Rubin?
SomeNYGuy said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:51
“Miami Weiss”
“The Goldman Girls”
“Win Ben Gurion’s Money”
Till said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:54
“Miami Weiss”
Win.
Flying Fox said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:54
Meshugge, P.I.
CapMidnight said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:55
From the producer of
“Seinfeld”
“Curb Your EnJudaism”
Looch said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:56
If Messrs. Podhorhetz, et al., wish to promote
conservatismterror among American Jews, let them find some way to encourage Jewish families to move to small towns in the Heartland, where their kids can grow uphunting, fishing and hot-roddinghunted, chased and beaten on the backroads.Fecksed
MS said,
September 8, 2009 at 19:57
I grew up in Amarillo, Texas. You really should hear one of my high school classmates describe growing up Jewish in Amarillo. Hell, it was hard enough growing up Presbyterian amongst all the Baptists.
Looch said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:08
It’s a movie but:
“Mensch in Black”
justme said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:10
The “The simplest way to define conservatism is this: The belief that liberalism is wrong.” bit eluded me, but I was skimming. Amusing, coming from someone claiming to be demonized as “Other”.
This one jumped out at me,
sic
I wonder if this was a conscious effort to commingle St. Ronnie and teh C+ Augustus, or if he’s just so damned stupid he can’t understand that there was more than one Republican President.
justme said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:19
Oh, and as if to directly answer the “This Is Sure To Pacify Them” post,
http://thinkprogress.org/2009/09/08/hannity-czars-job/
Tommmcatt said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:20
“Win Ben Gurion’s Money”
Forgive me, but isn’t Win Ben Stein’s Money already pretty Jewish?
Steerpike said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:22
A Musical:
OY-Klahoma!
Tata said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:25
On PBS, one to watch: This Old Sukkus.
One to avoid: The Eva Braun Workshop.
Tommmcatt said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:26
Another Musical:
Shlomo Todd: The Kosher Barber of Fleet Street
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:29
A medical comedy about doctors who aren’t quite up to snuff: Shlubs
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:32
The Producers
wait….
reverter said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:36
Another musical: Katz!
Tata said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:39
Was Rhoda a documentary?
Rusty Shackleford said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:40
Jewhart
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:42
Lefkowitz: Special Education Teacher’s Aid
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:42
Rhoda was about as unJewish as you can get and still claim to be Jewish.
mingo said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:45
I wonder if this was a conscious effort to commingle St. Ronnie and teh C+ Augustus, or if he’s just so damned stupid he can’t understand that there was more than one Republican President.
I would use the word ‘conflate’, making this a ‘conflatus’.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:47
I wonder if this was a conscious effort to commingle St. Ronnie and teh C+ Augustus, or if he’s just so damned stupid he can’t understand that there was more than one Republican President.
I would use the word ‘conflate’, making this a ‘conflatus’.
Considering we’re talking about the “Heartland,” cornflatus.
DAS said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:48
with apologies to Dan Akroyd, Jane Curtain and ignorant sluts everywhere:
Michael Medved, you ignorant slut! I don’t for one minute think Michael Medved really is a member of my tribe, considering how clueless he is about our history and mores.
Does he really not have any clue as to why we Jews are particularly concerned about Christian religious extremism?
cowalker said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:48
Meet Rachel, who’s lived most everywhere,
From Westchester to Washington Square.
But Daisy’s only seen the squalor
A girl can see in Possum Holler–
What a crazy pair!
smedley said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:50
“Jewhart”
Followed a couple of years after it’s run with “The Moshe Jewhart Show,” and after that, the short-lived “Moshe.”
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:52
Well, DAS, that’s cuz they don’t make Jews like Jesus anymore…
Bigby said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:53
Hmmm, maybe this isn’t as bad as it sounds…I grew up in a cookie cutter , All Merkin’ Suburb (Levittown!) and there were cross burnings on the first Negroes who moved there’s front lawn the year I was born (mid-60’s!). I had tons of jackass schoolmates afraid of the Big City and Negroes growing up.
Then I went to Big State U that was trying get their minority recruitment UP to 5% (and had a large number of people whose attitude towards any blacks on campus that weren’t either 6′7″ 290 or 6′9″ 215 was “how’d you get in here?”) and had exactly one black person in my major.
Right after that I moved to DC, then Baltimore. Did my attitude and tolerance a lot of good, seeing how other people than my prior limited experience actually lived. I voted for Reagan in 1984 (and regretted it about 10 mins later when he finished gutting student loan programs and being a fuckhead in S. Africa and Iran/Contra…right about when I started paying actual attention to politics), yet have pretty much voted straight Lefty ever since.
So, maybe those cracker assholes are on to something!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:55
So Bigby, we could get the same result by having all the white folks move back to the cities?
They’d have to give up their Suburban Assault Vehicles. I don’t see it happenin.
stibbert said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:55
it’s got eight cylinders, uses ‘em all,
’s got Torah-drive, just won’t stall.
Boychik, you’re gonna start me kvetchin’
if you don’t stop drivin’ that Hot
Rod
Lincoln.
srsly tho, there’ll be a whole new aftermarket for shifter-knobs where the R1234 or PRNDL symbols are replaced by Hebraic letters.
g said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:58
I wonder if this was a conscious effort to commingle St. Ronnie and teh C+ Augustus, or if he’s just so damned stupid he can’t understand that there was more than one Republican President.
Ronnie had a real ranch, not a pig farm
Ahem. I believe for you youngsters that St. Ronnie was the First Brush Clearer; C+ Augustus was just copying him.
justme said,
September 8, 2009 at 20:59
So, mingo, you’re saying he’s being conflatulent?
justme said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:01
Meshuggah-berry R.F.D.
Newbie McNoob said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:03
“Boychik Meets Welt”
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:07
“My Friend Shikseh”
H. Rumbold, Master Barber said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:10
The Real McGoys
justme said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:10
Well, I stand corrected.
I remembered that he did indeed have a ranch and enjoyed riding, but I could have sworn that his brush clearing days were behind him by the time he hit the White House.
If it were possible, my esteem for W just dropped another notch.
Also, LOL, Ronbo.
Seth 410 said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:13
“Star Schlep”
Jewwwwws Innnnn Spaaaaace!
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:14
Instead of Meet The Press, “Who Knew?”
Looch said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:16
“Dork and Mindy“
Newbie McNoob said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:18
“Dork and Mindy“
“Mork and Minyan”
Seth 410 said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:18
Followed 30 years later by “Star Schlep: Oy-ager”
Looch said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:19
“Whose Fault is it Anyway?”
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:20
Y’know, Andy Breitbart is right: based on the show titles we’ve tossed about, LA is full of Jewish liberals.
…makes you wonder how come a guy named Breitbart can’t get work….
Newbie McNoob said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:20
Instead of Meet The Press, “Who Knew?”
I thought “Who Knew?” *was* the unofficial title for “Meet The Press.”
The Tragically Flip said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:32
The Oy Team
Steerpike said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:37
Alright, enough is enough, I think we’re having just a bit too much fun with the Yiddish slang and Jewish stereotypes here. Honestly, it’s getting borderline offensive.
It’s enough to make a Goy like me Meshuggah
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:41
It’s enough to make a Goy like me Meshuggah
Makes you cry over shpilkes milk, eh?
DAS said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:41
All these comments remind me of a series of illustrations and commentary in one or other humorous books by some Jewish author under the heading “if Jews really did run the world”. They had things like “if Jews controlled the banks” … “banks wouldn’t be called ‘Bank of America’ or ‘CitiBank’ but rather ‘Manny, Moe and Jack, the Loan Arrangers’”, “if Jews controlled the Treasury” … “the national debt would be financed by donations for people to have images of their choice on our money” (illustration: a dollar bill with a baby picture on it and a congratulatory note from “Nathan’s proud grandparents”), etc.
PeeJ said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:42
Wouldn’t that be “The Alef Team?”
justme said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:43
Reversing the Jews—>wilderness theme, we get “Goys in the Hood”.
The Dark Avenger said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:43
Bernice, Warrior Jewish Princess
Steerpike said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:46
I’m picturing one of those “Nextel” ads–y’know, thoe ones that go “If roadies ran the world” or “If delivery guys ran the world”. Make one with the theme “If Jews ran the world”. Have a bunch of guys with hair in their ears kveching into their walkie-talkies.
LittlePig said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:46
Not to mention great musical hits like “Rock The Dreidel Of Love”
Dan Someone said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:54
So American Jews are just rootless cosmopolitans, Mr. McCain?
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:55
Not to mention great musical hits like “Rock The Dreidel Of Love”
The jokes just write themselves! I bet Jews would make great comedy writers, if they weren’t busy taking over the world.
MzNicky said,
September 8, 2009 at 21:55
Completely O/T, but that Nordlinger guy at that Corner place has decided that it’s time all cons admit they’re teabaggers. Yes he did.
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=NDMxZGQ1Mzc0OTFiMGZkNDBmMWNlZTMzNzFhNDNkNGY=
Major Kong said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:01
The best I could come up with was: “Cooking with Rachel Vey”
Steerpike said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:05
Also OT, but I was away all weekend, and ma too
lazybusy to go through all the last three days’ comment threads–does anyone know if DRMM has had her out-of-body experience yet? Or is Studly still body-building?Looch said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:08
As of last notice, Studie still in holding pattern. Due date nominally Sept 17 and a pool has been started for the actual birth date and time.
MzNicky said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:08
Yeah — speaking of l’il Studebaker, is there a Sadly betting pool as to when he’ll make his debut?
I’ll go with 9/12. At 3 a.m., of course, which is the hour all babies are born.
MzNicky said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:10
D’oh! Cross-posting pileup.
Due date of 9/17 changes everything. My prediction is hereby revoked.
Looch said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:13
Well, I said nominal date. Kids are kinda like buses. Some are early, some late.
PeeJ said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:13
How does one get in the pool? What’s the prize? Is the fix in?
Looch said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:14
I am sure someone will correct me if the Sept. 17 date was misremembered or something. Also.
Steerpike said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:15
Don’t ever tell an expectant mother that her baby is like a bus in any way!
tigrismus said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:15
I thought it was the 14th.
Jay B. said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:16
Heeb-Haw, staring Oy Clark and Junior Schample.
Looch said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:17
DRMM promised some sort of prize to the winner. Jumping in pool most efficient. No word on fix, yet.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:21
that Nordlinger guy at that Corner place has decided that it’s time all cons admit they’re teabaggers.
For once, I agree with him.
My entry in the Studie pool: 9/10/09, early morning like 4:30 a.m. And a lifelong stalwart practitioner of conservatard-hated “pre-9/11 thinking”.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:22
I’ve got 9/16, 5 PM, and Gavin can’t find parking.
LittlePig said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:23
The jokes just write themselves! I bet Jews would make great comedy writers, if they weren’t busy taking over the world.
This thread *is* a fitting tribute on Sid Caesar’s birthday (he is 87 today).
Pere Ubu said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:28
Fuck, the gears of capitalism are getting well-oiled today, at least in this sector.
I assume the children of America remain unbrainwashed, and that this thread will be featured on Malkin’s and/or Pammycakes’ site as further proof of left-wing anti-Semitism.
I mean, how immature and irresponsible *snif* of us proles. We should handle political comment RESPONSIBLY!!1~! the way they do.
(Links to Cheerleader Malkin [batteries not included] and Wine-Drinkin’ Bathroom Vlogger Pamela [Mogen David sold seperately] are left to the interested party, since I can’t be arsed.)
g said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:33
So have all your kids been indoctrinated today?
Funny how the right wing made it so that more people paid attention to the President’s speech than otherwise would have.
kingubu said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:50
So have all your kids been indoctrinated today?
Jimmy, let’s go to the map…
Little Justin Jones, age 16:
I detect a future Sadlynaut.
Here’s tiny tot Rachel Lubitz, age 17:
Yep, the kids are alright.
MzNicky said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:53
Okay, I’m still gonna go with 9/12, 3 a.m.
MzNicky said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:55
Forgot to add: Bookmark it, libs!
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:55
Burnstein Notice.
Treyf Jobs.
Samson & Schmuck.
And of course Numbers is so Jewish already, we don’t even have to do anything.
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:58
Oh, and the part about students setting goals for their education and asking for help when they worry they won’t succeed? He is stealing the words right out of Karl Marx’s mouth.
Y’know, it suddenly occured to me why so many right wingers homeschool their kids.
They read Marx, who was a devoted adherent of public schooling, insisting that children need to be socialized in order to create a class of proletariat that would be sensitive to the needs of the community.
Hmmmmmmmmmm…wonder why that never popped up in my thinking before…
kingubu said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:59
Speaking of future Sadlynauts, I think its time that we start agitating for a Future Snarkers of America program in our local schools. We could have patches and contests and trophies and all that.
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:59
Especially with that Cyrillic “zeh” in the middle. They think they’re fooling us with that, but we’re too smart for them! Damn Rooskie Commie Jooz!
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 22:59
The continuing story of a crime-fighting deli owner: Lox and Order
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:00
Speaking of future Sadlynauts, I think its time that we start agitating for a Future Snarkers of America program in our local schools. We could have patches and contests and trophies and all that.
Kingubu has a point: we have to have a mechanism in place to offset Ericksson’s Trike Force.
kingubu said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:02
wonder why that never popped up in my thinking before…
Because it begins with the ridiculous premise that the Fundie homeschooler parents read Marx?
actor212 said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:05
Because it begins with the ridiculous premise that the Fundie homeschooler parents read Marx?
I knew there was some flaw in my logic!
Pere Ubu said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:09
Because it begins with the ridiculous premise that the Fundie homeschooler parents read
Marx?Fixed all “Zig” for great justice.
Pere Ubu said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:10
shoulda closed all tag for great justice, too.
Been a long day.
Jacob Singer said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:14
C’mon guys, leave a little snark for us poor noobs. I can’t keep up with this thread!
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:17
A couple more:
My Son, The Rich Successful Doctor (House, M.D.)
Myths? Bupkes! (MythBusters)
Oy, Such A Schlep I Had Today (24)
Farblondjet (Lost)
Battlestar Goylactica.
Lesly said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:24
Bah. I don’t think my comment’s gonna show up. Here’s what I wrote:
kingubu said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:26
we have to have a mechanism in place to offset Ericksson’s Trike Force.
If that one kid from Florida’s comments are any indication, America’s teens are already beating Erik Teh Red’s pockmarked ass.
No, no, I’m thinking of stuff like proud Heartlander parents hoisting oversized blue ribbons next to their offspring’s prize-winning life-sized Jonah Goldberg with a sandwich sticking out of his ass made entirely of butter.
owlbear1 said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:30
Hawaii Five-OY!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:38
I don’t know…Batman and Rubin?
Glatt Man and Rubin
Far from the Meshugah Crowd- a Semitic Pastorale.
owlbear1 said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:41
Indiana Jews and the Temple Beth Israel
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:52
I wonder if Mr Other McCain ever laments the fact that his parents’ country club had no Jewish members.
Que era era
Xecky Gilchrist said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:52
The Gevalt of Horror
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:54
How about those wacky 70’s Jewish road comedies?
Schmaltzy and the Bandit
Con-OY!
Inconstant Reader said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:56
Lesly, your comment did make it, as (to my surprise) did mine. Among other things, I pointed out that I’ll be more comfortable with the religious Right when it stops turning out kids who tell my young son he’s going to Hell.
R. V. Dump said,
September 8, 2009 at 23:56
Greene Acres
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
September 9, 2009 at 0:00
Among other things, I pointed out that I’ll be more comfortable with the religious Right when it stops turning out kids who tell my young son he’s going to Hell.
It would also be nice if their “pro-Israel” stance wasn’t based on an eschatological fantasy that involves the immolation of anyone not of the “elect”.
I’d be wary of their concern, and I’m a goy-boy.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
September 9, 2009 at 0:07
How about that great 50’s tear-jerker, Old Yenta?
tigrismus said,
September 9, 2009 at 0:20
Game show idea: “What, You Want I Should Spin the Wheel Already?”
MzNicky said,
September 9, 2009 at 1:11
Game show? How about “Jeopardy, Schmepardy!”? No? I’m late to the thread.
actor212 said,
September 9, 2009 at 2:58
Glatt Man and Rubin
‘
Leave it to a Noo Yawkah (Joo Yawkah?) to improve that one.
actor212 said,
September 9, 2009 at 2:58
Game Show:
The Price Is Too High! Can’t You Cut A Little Off For A Bubbeh?
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
September 9, 2009 at 5:26
Supermarket Wait, Wait, I’ve Got A Coupon On That!
Faygelah Eye For the Singlemon.
And we could of course define all of Fox News as kopdrayenish.
Smut Clyde said,
September 9, 2009 at 7:00
Don’t ever tell an expectant mother that her baby is like a bus in any way!
Obama threw his advisor under the baby!
Smut Clyde said,
September 9, 2009 at 7:38
Well, I said nominal date. Kids are kinda like buses. Some are early, some late.
You wait for ages then three come along at once.
Also.
justme said,
September 9, 2009 at 8:01
Also known as,
What? You expect I should know retail?
Zarquon said,
September 9, 2009 at 9:05
My Favorite Mohel
Looch said,
September 9, 2009 at 14:37
A towering anti-war novel soon to be made into a major motion picture!
Kvetch-22
actor212 said,
September 9, 2009 at 16:02
The remake of Cheers would be Two Cents Plain
Sirius Lunacy said,
September 9, 2009 at 16:42
If Messrs. Podhorhetz, et al., wish to promote conservatism among American Jews, let them find some way to encourage Jewish families to move to small towns in the Heartland
Sirius Lunacy said,
September 9, 2009 at 16:44
Ok, here’s yje link was supposed to be tied to some way:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trail_of_Tears
actor212 said,
September 9, 2009 at 16:53
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trail_of_Tears
The Native American is the Jew of American Conservatism.
purvis ames said,
September 9, 2009 at 20:11
Does Michael Medved win the Weenie Award for the second year running? The man is priceless.