20
If Any of You Hate Me and Want to Drive Me to Madness…
…then you should probably buy me a copy of NewsMax’s Ronald Reagan comedy CD:
If you love Ronald Reagan – or just enjoy laughing – you need to get NewsMax.com’s special audio program “Ronald Reagan’s Greatest Laughs.”
And if you hate life – or are just looking for reasons to off yourself – then you should probably buy the CD, too.
This unique program brings together Ronald Reagan’s best jokes, one-liners and funny stories.
Reagan often used humor to inform, and you’ll share in his insights.
Whoa!! He used humor to inform? That’s, like, so awesome and amazing because up until then, politicians thought the best way to inform people was by being boring stupid cunts.
No other President in modern times has used humor to capture the attention of the American people like Ronald Reagan did.
Uh, are you sure about that?
Wait, I think they meant deliberate humor. Right, never mind.
Laughter was his way of creating a special warmth, like an electric arc between him and his audience. There’s a lot we can learn from Reagan’s humor.
No there isn’t. And I don’t want to think about the Gipper’s special “electric arc” being shoved in my face, thank you very much.
Oh, and by the way, NewsMax: fuck you.
George Johnston said,
March 20, 2006 at 5:57
My favorite Ronnie Pearl of Wisdom:
Trees are the major source of air pollution.
Anna in Cairo said,
March 20, 2006 at 7:39
Remember Ketchup being a vegetable? Ahhh, the 80s.
Gregor Samsa said,
March 20, 2006 at 7:54
Laughter truly is the best medicine.
I thought the tree/pollution thing was a James Watt/Rush Limpbrain thing.
Jimbo said,
March 20, 2006 at 7:58
“Reagan had true wit and used humor in both public and private occasions. He was a funny man.”
That is so true.
Whether trading arms for hostages, funding and training Central American death squads or looting the S&L’s Ronnie made us think and chuckle at the same time. You wanted to hate him for the bloodshed and death and evil but, gosh, he was just so darn likeable that you just couldn’t help but smile.
Good times.
mr. memento said,
March 20, 2006 at 8:14
W makes me miss Reagan.
Gack.
Henry Holland said,
March 20, 2006 at 8:42
Oh, I was just chortling the entire 6 years that it took that evil fuck to even mention AIDS in public, let alone do something real about it. I mean, what’s 70,000 deaths and 100,000+ infections in those 6 years compared to the comedy gold of Ronnie Raygun.
As a lifelong California, I’ll say this: I’m so, so sorry that we inflicted him upon y’all (though, as usual, he was an immigrant to this fine state–the same with all the serial killers that shoot up McDonald’s).
GuinnessGuy said,
March 20, 2006 at 10:21
Give credit where credit is due- Ronnie’s speechwriters and personal appearance handlers managed to win the hearts of (half) a generation. And despite the fact that he didn’t actually contribute to writing any of it, Ronnie did deliver his lines like a (B-movie) pro most of the time.
He was the Brittany Spears of politics: nothing more, nothing less.
H. Rumbold, Master Barber said,
March 20, 2006 at 10:55
I have just declared war on the Soviet Union. The bombing starts in five minutes. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.
Tommy Yum said,
March 20, 2006 at 12:42
There is a lot we can learn from Reagan’s humor. Mostly that we’re fucked, and it’s funny! We’re fucked! A-HAHAHAHAHA!
Oh, and I don’t understand that ‘electric arc’ line. A little too Gitmo for me.
BillyD said,
March 20, 2006 at 15:11
I had to click through the links to verify this was for real. Holy shit – Ronny’s greatest comedy hits. I’m not sure if this is just more ‘Reagan was the second coming of Christ’ crap that the far-right loves so much, or if it’s the right attempts to show that they’re the funny party. We have Stewart, Colbert, etc – they have… a cd of Ronald Reagan speeches… oh, and that conservative humor website.
BillyD said,
March 20, 2006 at 15:13
BTW, that W picture cracks me up everytime.
BillyD said,
March 20, 2006 at 15:15
I hate to pull of the triple comment – but is that skull and bones background your handiwork Brad? Well played.
Timmah420 said,
March 20, 2006 at 16:23
Wow, I didn’t know such an awesome picture of Bush existed.
What is the fascination animals have with the crotch of power?
teh l4m3 said,
March 20, 2006 at 18:03
Timmah: He’s kinda like Dr. Doolittle, if Dr. Doolittle milked stallions.
Worst. President. Ever. said,
March 20, 2006 at 18:37
Heh, heh, remember the time ol’ Ronnie sold them weapons to Osama bin Laden and taught him how to use ‘em?
That was some funny shit!
And oh, yeah, arranging for those hostages to be held by the mullahs until the day he took office— that was a stroke of comedy genius!
Gavin M. said,
March 20, 2006 at 18:44
Huh. You only like the skulls because you think your favorite guy Brad did them.
Brad’s going to be along any time now, and he’s going to be like, “Dude! Du-hu-huuude! Por favor, who put the green skulls in the Reagan pic?” And I’m gonna be like, “Skulls and dirigibles too — there must be a mad unseen prankster adding things to pictures around here…”
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,
March 20, 2006 at 19:40
Obligatory:
My fellow Americans. I’m pleased to announce that I’ve signed legislation outlawing the Soviet Union. We begin bombing in five minutes.
tigrismus said,
March 20, 2006 at 19:50
Reagan was the straight man, Bonzo was the funny one.
Yosef said,
March 20, 2006 at 21:06
I still crack up thinking about pictures of his colon!
Anne said,
March 20, 2006 at 21:22
It was either Reagan or Watt who said that we had more trees in the U.S. in the 20th century than we did in colonial times.
Ben said,
March 20, 2006 at 21:44
WPE, I think you’re forgetting the current pResident; while I normally frown on such instantaneous judgements and despise this culture of “worst/best eva!” for whatever flavor of the month is popular now, I would say that we can write this one in already.
BillyD said,
March 20, 2006 at 22:10
Wait… Gavin did the skulls… I now find it tacky and in bad taste.
JiuNoon said,
March 20, 2006 at 22:47
If you wanted to, ya know, share your love of Reagan’s wit and wisdom with the charming young men at Reagan’s Children, they seem to be asking for it: http://reaganchildren.com/serendipity/index.php?/archives/62-Words-of-Wisdom.html
I’m sure that they’d be truly proud of any jellybean or ketchup references you might be willing to offer up. Hey, they need something to take their minds off all that sex they’re abstaining from…
Mumon said,
March 21, 2006 at 1:25
Electric arc?
I thought they had the gas chamber in San Quentin.
Marq said,
March 21, 2006 at 6:49
Peck… peck… pecker!
DocAmazing said,
March 21, 2006 at 7:51
I’m still in stitches over the Bitburg trip and the “These, too, were victims” line, when he put the wreath on the SS graves. Damn, I’m still crackin’ up over that one!
Henry Holland said,
March 23, 2006 at 0:28
DocAmazing reminded me of the Gipper opening his first campaign in Philadelphia, Mississippi, an explicit shout out to racists. Nice.
Marq said,
March 24, 2006 at 4:44
Next edition in this fine line of CDs: “Ronnie Raygun’s Best (evah!) Speeches To Wank To (4 disc set)”
Hey, Brad–put down that gun!
Neil said,
March 25, 2006 at 18:00
Ronnie’s most-ludicrous has already been captured in Paul Slansky’s The Clothes Have No Emperor. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry. Your head will explode for the second time — or the first if you are too young to remember.
Seriously, I realized just the other day that this book was a blog in hard copy.