It’s Sargent Shriver’s Bleeding Hearts Club Band

Confederate Yankee:
Obese Womanizing Drunk Who Killed Young Woman in Alcohol-Related Accident Decades Ago And Who Spent His Career Increasing the Federal Deficit, Finally Dies

  • What is best in life? To crush your enemies, to hear the lamentations of their women, and the pitiless fap-fap-fap of the mighty Jergens hand.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Confederate Yankee:
What They Won’t Mention About Ted Kennedy: Treason

  • I don’t like to use the word ‘treason,’ because liberals and conservatives alike have dulled its sting by me constantly accusing liberals of treason. What word, then, can we use for a hypertreasonous jackal-traitor such as enemy agent Ted “The Traitor” Kennedy?

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Confederate Yankee:
Too Soon?

  • Hi, me again. Say, is it too soon for a joke about Ted Kennedy?

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 78

 
 
 

Hey what happened to the time-honored tradition of photoshopping CY’s mug alongside a Mr. Bubbles bottle? How I long for those good ole days.

 
 

Can’t go to linky. What’s the nominal “rationale” (I say that loosely) for the so-called treason?

 
 

What’s the nominal “rationale” (I say that loosely) for the so-called treason?

I’m not going to click either, but I’ll bet on Conservative Butthurt.

 
 

Oh wait, you said nominal rationale, not actual.

Pardon.

 
 

And you know what? The guy was still a much better human being than ConYank.

Obese Womanizing Drunk Who Killed Young Woman in Alcohol-Related Accident Decades Ago And Who Spent His Career Increasing the Federal Deficit, Finally Dies

 
 

Does Bobo mention both, Smut? Cuz I think the first would’ve made Kennedy a hero in ConYank’s eyes. More seriously, is either of those as bad as what we know with more than memos of memos that Reagan did to Carter?

 
 

Kennedy offers to help “de-escalate” the crisis in Afghanistan by undermining President Carter.

Oh, so now the right wing champions Carter?

Of course, he’s right to be upset, though. What kind of treasonous monster would deal secretly with foreign governments hostile to the US while in the middle of a political campaign?

 
 

What’s the nominal “rationale” (I say that loosely) for the so-called treason?

Apparently Kennedy was a secrit Ruskie-commie-pinko-symp. In the eighties, he wanted Americans to hear what the Russians had to say, you see, just in case the were actually human beings too.

Teh Yankee was more on the side of sending them short, pithy messages painted on the tips of nuclear weapons back then, I would imagine.

 
 

Obese womanising drunk? What’s not to like?

 
 

From LGM
“The first — a handwritten note supposedly brought to Great Britain in 1982 by Soviet defector and former KGB agent Visaly Mitrokhin — describes a letter allegedly written by Kennedy and delivered to Leonid Brezhnev in 1979, wherein Kennedy offers to help “de-escalate” the crisis in Afghanistan by undermining President Carter. The letter would indeed by an interesting document, if in fact it actually existed; shockingly, however, it does not appear in the Mitrokhin Archive itself, nor does Mitrokhin himself discuss it in his 700-page book, The Sword and the Shield (though he does mention that the KGB sent Kennedy’s office forged documents purporting to show that Scoop Jackson and Richard Perle were “members of a gay sex club.)”

 
 

For a view into what passes for a brain inside Bobo Wens hat rack, try this:

“Who died?”
“Ted Kennedy.”

Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch ….

[business bidnis]

“I’m so sorry. What were you saying?”
“Ted Kennedy d……”

Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch …

–Repeat ad nauseam

 
 

Like these skidmarks give a good God damn about Mary Jo Kopechne. They’re more than happy to let living Mary Jo’s die without healthcare. Fuck Bob Owens with a rusty chainsaw sideways.

 
 

I posted a comment telling him to STFU about 9th level hearsay re Kennedy, crap that not even Hannity would go with, according to LGM.

I suggested to Mr. Owens that If he wanted to talk “treason,” he should discuss the Reagan/Bush sabotaging of the US efforts to get the hostages out of Iran before the 1980 election, a real piece of treason that was led by Bush 41 himself as well as several other high-level pieces of Republican shit.

Motherfucker deleted my comment. That’s the state of Republican “discourse” these days.

 
 

“though he does mention that the KGB sent Kennedy’s office forged documents purporting to show that Scoop Jackson and Richard Perle were “members of a gay sex club.”

He wants a Perle necklace!

 
 

Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch …

Niagara Falls!

 
 

Gun-counter Gomer, his readers and his ancestors can all collectively huff petrol-marinated choads in hell for all i care. They have the nerve to bash a dead man who has done more for this country than any dozen of them combined and then top that by having the gall to suggest that his peers and supporters should not “politicize” his passing in a way that would have been to his liking. They can follow the choad-huffing with a buffet of varying species of dung

 
 

Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch …

One of the most awesome things I’ve seen this year is the YouTube of Moe, Mike Douglas and Soupy Sails doing that bit on The Mike Douglas Show.

 
 

Confederate Yankee:
Too Soon?

Sorry: laughed.

 
 

Scoop Jackson and Richard Perle were “members of a gay sex club.”

Lemon Party!

 
 

Confederate Yankee:
Too Soon?

Sorry: laughed.

If your Yankee stays Confederate for more than 140 years, talk to your doctor.

 
 

Scoop Jackson and Richard Perle were “members of a gay sex club.”

Shouldn’t that be “Brain-Mellon-Baller-Scoop Jackson”?

 
 

Scoop Jackson and Richard Perle were “members of a gay sex club.”

It meant “happy” back then.

 
 

I posted a comment telling him to STFU about 9th level hearsay re Kennedy

Only a low-minded concern troll would post a comment warning of the impression of cowardice that results from holding these allegations in reserve until they are posthumous, when if true they would have been more effective while Kennedy was still alive.

 
 

“though he does mention that the KGB sent Kennedy’s office forged documents purporting to show that Scoop Jackson and Richard Perle were “members of a gay sex club.”

OMG PEOPLE LET RICHARD PERLE ANYWHERE NEAR THEM WHEN SEX WAS ON THE AGENDA?!!!!

 
 

OMG PEOPLE LET RICHARD PERLE ANYWHERE NEAR THEM WHEN SEX WAS ON THE AGENDA?!!!!

My meetings are so goddamned dull.

 
 

Ted Kennedy wanted more and bigger government… gun control… socialized healthcare… expensive alternative energy

Ted Kennedy is dead, at long last.

Like I said elsewhere, they’ve got nothing but petty domestic policy disputes, and they’re celebrating his death? What the fuck?

I mean, I wouldn’t give a crap if James Inhofe or John Cornyn or Mitch McConnell or whoever died tomorrow. But it sure as hell wouldn’t bring me any kind of relief or happiness. They’re just assholes I disagree with. Whatever.

 
 

Like I said elsewhere, they’ve got nothing but petty domestic policy disputes, and they’re celebrating his death? What the fuck?

A two-and-a-half-word answer: they’re scum.

 
 

I mean, I wouldn’t give a crap if James Inhofe or John Cornyn or Mitch McConnell or whoever died tomorrow. But it sure as hell wouldn’t bring me any kind of relief or happiness.

What if they all died at once? From a direct meteor strike?

Then what would you say?

 
 

My meetings are so goddamned dull.

I guess you need one o’ they homerseckshul agendas.

 
 

What if they all died at once? From a direct meteor strike?

Could it be a funny meteor strike? Like the meteor’s made of poo or something?

 
 

Shouldn’t you be using the permalinks to each TIDOS Yankee post? The posts in question are going to be bumped off the front page by future posts.

 
 

Like the meteor’s made of poo or something?

Carbonaceous chondrites are GOD’S DINGLEBERRIES.

 
 

Poor Gun Counter Gomer, forced to wander the Earth redoubling the crazy again and again, in the hopes that someday the Wingnut Welfare will shine down upon him and grant him a new char-coal grill.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Now there’s a band name: The Poo Meteors!

Or even The Meteors Made of Poo.

 
 

I envision T-shirts with an arrow on them saying POOTEORITE.

 
 

I think The Poop Meteors has a slightly better sound to it.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I think The Poop Meteors has a slightly better sound to it.

Agreed, but I think The Meteors Made of Poo has a nice kind of British Invasion vibe.

 
Zombie Fred Hoyle
 

Dinosaurs were wiped out by an epidemic E. Coli infection brought to earth by the Chicxulub Event.
It was a foregone conclusion — a preterite pooteorite.

 
 

To all the chicxilubed before…

 
 

What They Won’t Mention About Ted Kennedy: Treason

If these documents surprised you, just wait until Chief Editor Korir reveals the truth of Teddy Kennedy’s birth.

 
 

Meteocoprolites?

 
 

Picture of a man with a motorised pooter. I think this is cheating.

 
 

“External links

Plans to make a simple pooter”

 
 

But let’s not ever forget, it’s the liberals who are filled with hate.

 
 

NEW DISCOVERY — If you start singing “Picture a man with a motorised pooter” to the tune of “Lucy in the Sky”, the cats run away.

 
 

the impression of cowardice that results from holding these allegations in reserve until they are posthumous, when if true they would have been more effective while Kennedy was still alive.

Funny, I get an impression of bottomless depravity.

I’m once again amazed — although at this point I don’t suppose anything should surprise me — by what a DISGUSTING little man this Owens character is.

 
 

Nixon sabotaged the 1968 Vietnam peace talks, while publicly opposing any interference with President Johnson’s conduct of foreign policy. See Nixonland or wikipedia or anything. The man was a genius. May he burn in peace.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Smut Clyde said,

August 27, 2009 at 1:26

Like the meteor’s made of poo or something?

Carbonaceous chondrites are GOD’S DINGLEBERRIES.

Wouldn’t it have been funny if the Allende Carbonaceous Chondrite had landed on Henry Kissinger?

 
 

One of my first thoughts last night, after I heard about Sen. Kennedy, was that over the next couple of days we may approach Peak Wingnut again, topped with a special sheen of gloating and grave-tap-dancing. That’s how poisoned the discourse has become. Or I have, maybe.

 
 

Meteors gone
Way up to mars
Soon it will be filled
With parking cars

I watch it for a little while
I love to watch things on tv

Meteor of poo
Meteor of poo

 
 

Where’s that guy’s fucking chin?

 
 

I figured the wingnuts would haul their Fred Phelps Hate font for Ted Kennedy.

 
 

Where’s that guy’s fucking chin?

A Photoshop switch of his chin with his forehead seems in order.

 
 

Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch …

One of the most awesome things I’ve seen this year is the YouTube of Moe, Mike Douglas and Soupy Sails doing that bit on The Mike Douglas Show.

Dude, you sure that wasn’t an acid flashback?

I mean, I wouldn’t give a crap if James Inhofe or John Cornyn or Mitch McConnell or whoever died tomorrow. But it sure as hell wouldn’t bring me any kind of relief or happiness.

What if they all died at once? From a direct meteor strike?

Oh shit wait I got one!! What if Scalia, Thomas, Alito and Roberts all died in a freak exploding toilet accident or something? Tell me that wouldn’t be a hoot!

 
 

Riiight. I mean with the law’n-order, familial values, & Right-to-fife crowd, all is well with the universes.

The republican version of chappaquidik would’ve gone like this:

Sen John Upright (R), was involved in an accident where a columbian meth lab fire/explosion revealed a “prayer office” that actually worshiped a leathern god of pegging, which celebrants wore soiled diapers as they blew off-duty policemen and firemen. Sen Upright was found in a nearby public restroom, wearing 3 oiled neoprene wet suits, in which he had fled the fire, where he was soliciting homeless for undisclosed sexual acts. When asked for an explanation, he said he was conducting an undercover “fact-finding mission” – and needed to leave to spend more time with his not-gay wife. His alleged “solicitation” charges, were merely the result of his being “confused” after “being frightened” by the undercover black policeman who arrested him.

 
 

Hey, pal, I’m right-to-fife: I think each of us has the God-given right to toot that flute til the cows come home.

 
 

One of the Secessionist’s commenters responded with his own joke:

They should call the bill NiggerCare.
Posted by Raleigh Rebel at August 26, 2009 09:04 PM

They’ve got such class.

 
 

And I lol’ed at your story, more than once. The leaving “to spend more time with his not-gay wife” was particularly snerk-inducing.

 
 

One of the most awesome things I’ve seen this year is the YouTube of Moe, Mike Douglas and Soupy Sails doing that bit on The Mike Douglas Show.

You say this and don’t provide a link? Cocktease.

 
 

3 oiled neoprene wet suits, in which he had fled the fire
…Slowly, step by step, inch by inch.

 
 

I envision T-shirts with an arrow on them saying POOTEORITE.

And pee to your left.

 
 

By the way, I really don’t mind them getting their jokes off about Teddy Kennedy, because thank god a bunch of us stopped putting up with their beatification of Reagan.

I will never, ever forget how much it meant to me that then Air-America’s “Morning Sedition” kicked back against all the Reagan funeral shit with Dead Reagan Monday.

So, let ’em all have their Chappaquiddick jackoff — as long as we never have to pretend that Ronald Reagan was any more than a mean, deceitful, myth filled, racist old bastard who did more to shit on this country than anyone since the Confederacy and anyone until Bush Jr.

 
 

Jesus Fucking Fuck. I thought I had lost all my expectations of the barest levels of human decency from these vile shitpiles, but it seems I can still be disgusted by their utter contempt for everyone who is not themselves. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

 
 

One of the Secessionist’s commenters…

I really need to throw a foam wedgie under my jaw before I catch up on wingnut news.

 
 

Chappaquiddick! Chappaquiddick! Boogedy boogedy boogedy!

(Maybe it’ll work this time!)

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

By the way, I really don’t mind them getting their jokes off about Teddy Kennedy…

Likewise. I don’t give a shit what the wingnuts think about him is basically why.

Agreed re: your Reagan stuff too. The guy was a destructive little pillock.

 
 

If ever there was a week in which we should completely ignore the idiocy, vitriol and hatred emanating from the right, this is that week.

 
 

Dude’s got more chin than decency.

I consider it one of my finer boasts that I am banned from commenting on his site (& unlike certain pathetic bridge-underside-lurking entities, I really can’t be bothered to switch IPs to thwart The Will Of Bob, easy as it would be to do so) – not that it takes much to win that particular trophy. Repeated use of incontrovertible hard facts to shoot his smarmy bullshit full of holes will suffice.

If you haven’t been kicked out of his personal digital monument to Idiot-Pride yet, you should really give it a try – it’s B&alicious™!

 
 

Banned in WankeeLand myself.

 
 

Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch …

One of the most awesome things I’ve seen this year is the YouTube of Moe, Mike Douglas and Soupy Sails doing that bit on The Mike Douglas Show.

I love that routine so much I named an album after it.

 
 

Where’s that guy’s fucking chin?

I still think he’s a dead ringer for this guy:

http://thesportshernia.typepad.com/blog/images/2007/04/26/aj_burnett_who_farted_2.jpg

 
 

Accuse a politician of treason? Well that pretty much makes you a fascist.

 
White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism
 

Hey, speaking of traitors…

How about ol’ Nixon and Kissinger, who left countless POW/MIA’s behind in Vietnam because they wouldn’t pay the secret reparations they had agreed to pay in the peace settlement negotiated with North Vietnam?

Read the book “An Enormous Crime” by former GOP Congressman Bill Hendon.

http://www.aiipowmia.com/inter27/in010607enormous.html

 
 

I don’t like to use the word ‘treason,’ because liberals and conservatives alike have dulled its sting by me constantly accusing liberals of treason.

No one tole yew libruls yew cunnit duck mah fest, yew dum betches!

 
 

I was curious which conservative would wind up “going there.” (I had Malkin at 3:1, Instapundit at 5:1, Goldberg at 10:1, and Rush an even push.) And when this one did, the results were just boring. It’s as though he’s bring up the Senator’s personal life out of a sense of obligation rather than any genuine passion.

Better instead to use Kennedy’s death to complaint about some long-standing bugbear like “media bias” or “death panels.”

 
 

Like the meteor’s made of poo or something?

I only use Raw-Goo, the meteor sauce. Our sause is 20% meteor than thiers.

 
 

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