Aug
18
18
Another White Victim of Negro Oppression Bravely Speaks Out
ABOVE: Selwyn Duke
Shorter Selwyn Duke, Renew America
All the President’s Bigoted Men
- All blacks are racist and hate white people. This is not itself a racist statement because it’s true (with the possible exception of Alan Keyes, Thomas Sowell and about three other Negroes). If you don’t believe it’s true, let me remind you of the white guy who used the word “niggardly” and was chained to the back of a pickup truck by a Negro mob and dragged to his death. Also, there was a black character in a movie that said something bad about white people. Further proof of black racism is that Blacks vote for the white-hating Democrat party. Case closed.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
UPDATE: Selwyn Duke responds!
The little blurb about my article at Sadly, No! was written by someone who didn’t want to attach his real name to his musings. Instead, he used the handle “Tintin.” Hmm, I didn’t think dogs could write. …
However, I will take the inability to address substantively even one point in a 2500-word piece as an admission of defeat. In debate, I guess you could say that avoidance is the sincerest form of flattery.
I will take Selwyn’s inability to address substantively even one part of the photograph of him illustrating the post as an admission that he really is as foolish as he looks in that photo.
M. Bouffant said,
August 18, 2009 at 7:45
Oh, come on, you got to provide us a link or further, dare I say, poop, on the chapeau The Thinker there is sporting.
(I’ll just guess it’s from a live Cap’t. Underpants show, but that’s a stab in the dark, really.)
M. Bouffant said,
August 18, 2009 at 7:46
A-ha, libs!
SECOND!
tincture said,
August 18, 2009 at 7:46
My they’re a handsome bunch over there, at renewmurika. Ofc this has nothing to do w/ any of the shit they publish. That crap stands and falls (consistently) on its own merits. Of which it has none. Also.
Judas Peckerwood said,
August 18, 2009 at 7:50
Finally, a superhero who uses his head!
tincture said,
August 18, 2009 at 7:56
The modern conservative pundit’s head servers a similar purpose to the tail of everybody’s favourite lizard, the skink.
gainsayer said,
August 18, 2009 at 8:02
Are you starting up stuffonmywingnut.com? If so, I am intrigued by your views and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
JGabriel said,
August 18, 2009 at 8:02
Wow. I just read the actual Selwyn Duke essay and can verify that Tintin’s shorter version is a completely accurate summary. Duke actually says at one point that:
I really don’t know how people like this exist or live with themselves.
Oh wait, on further reflection, I get it now: the layers of projection and denial are thick enough to protect oneself even in outer space. Which is, presumably, where Duke lives.
.
Stag Party Palin said,
August 18, 2009 at 8:14
Careful now, Sadlies. That there article by Selwyn “David” Duke is copyrighted, just like War & Peace. Don’t go pulling quotes unless you have a cat who’s willing to cover up the evidence.
Tacitus VII said,
August 18, 2009 at 8:15
For all intents and purposes, politically liberal blacks are by definition bigoted.
This is true virtually to a man
we should be abashed at the ironclad logic of this new cicero. “for all intents and purposes” and “by definition” almost seem to fulfill some function in this sentance.
whereas, in a manner of speaking, i might venture to speculate, in a semantic sense…
noen said,
August 18, 2009 at 8:24
Jebus, I didn’t believe the shorter and so I go read the article… Gawd forgive me.
Jennifer said,
August 18, 2009 at 8:32
“For all intents and purposes” is the “objectively pro-terrorist” of conservative racism.
bayville said,
August 18, 2009 at 8:33
His bio:
His lede:
Selwyn might want to invest in an editor… or an interpeter.
Jennifer said,
August 18, 2009 at 8:38
Whaddaya know…Selwyn is literally an asshat.
Or maybe that’s an asswipehat.
Smut Clyde said,
August 18, 2009 at 8:48
Deduct 10 points for failure to write “For all intensive purposes”.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
August 18, 2009 at 8:51
Jebus, I didn’t believe the shorter and so I go read the article
“Always believe the Shorter” is Sadly, No’s “always stay on the goddamn boat”.
Lesley said,
August 18, 2009 at 8:55
But the key is ensuring that…right people learn. Unfortunately, this is unlikely to happen.
No shit, Selwyn. Your essay goes on to demonstrate just that.
Btw, I was beginning to tire of the toilet-theme until this one.
Smut Clyde said,
August 18, 2009 at 8:57
Toilet paper is a finite good. Proctology is pelf.
Have I covered everything?
Lesley said,
August 18, 2009 at 9:04
For irrefutable proof Selwyn isn’t bigoted or xenophobic, see his previous column: Empty cradles, demographic destiny, and the death of the West
amocz said,
August 18, 2009 at 10:21
Tintin, just so you know, the illustrious HTML Mencken already holds the copyright on the Wingnuts in Potty Hats meme.
justme said,
August 18, 2009 at 10:25
OMG!!! He’s rationing the toilet paper! What am I going to tell the little-uns?
If only they had grown up when men were free, Americans were white, and Michael Jackson was black.
————-
OT, but also able to sub in for syrup of ipecac in a pinch,
Stop! Hammer Time!
and,
Yeah, the title really is, “What Orly Taitz believes.”
justme said,
August 18, 2009 at 10:26
Proctology is theft.
justme said,
August 18, 2009 at 10:27
Oh, and FYVMWP
justme said,
August 18, 2009 at 10:27
FYintheeyeholesWP
Grace Nearing said,
August 18, 2009 at 11:34
[W]ho really is prejudiced? Who really has drawn conclusions that have no basis in reality?
I can name at least one person.
owlbear1 said,
August 18, 2009 at 12:18
Silly Duck, stop making faces at people and screaming
N__B said,
August 18, 2009 at 12:31
[W]ho really is prejudiced? Who really has drawn conclusions that have no basis in reality?
Does anyone really know what time it is. Oooh ooh. Does anyone reall care?
chimpevil said,
August 18, 2009 at 12:44
I could tell you about a couple of incidents in which I was pulled over simply because I was in the wrong place, in the wrong kind of vehicle and, in one case, the wrong age.
All right, fool, you’ve done wandered into the Age of Enlightenment! Get outta the car and show me your Pascal!
chimpevil said,
August 18, 2009 at 12:47
I’ve been “profiled” as well. I could tell you about a couple of incidents in which I was pulled over simply because I was in the wrong place, in the wrong kind of vehicle and, in one case, the wrong age.
All right, buddy, you’ve done wandered into the Age of Enlightenment! Get outta the car and show me your Pascal!
owlbear1 said,
August 18, 2009 at 13:28
I’ve been “profiled” as well. I could tell you about a couple of incidents in which I was pulled over simply because I was in the wrong place, in the wrong kind of vehicle and, in one case, the wrong age.
…but I am running low on ink, the candles grow dim, and my supply of paper is exhausted so won’t actually tell you about these incidents.
Willy said,
August 18, 2009 at 13:47
I see his hat has earholes so he can continue his habit of ramming pencils into his ears.
Prudence Goodwife said,
August 18, 2009 at 13:51
I could tell you about a couple of incidents….
As soon as one happens to me, really I could.
El Cid said,
August 18, 2009 at 14:17
Man, how on Earth did I miss out on such a genius for so long?
mingo said,
August 18, 2009 at 14:19
I was in the wrong place,
an area where the speed limit was a VERY unreasonable 35 mph.
in the wrong kind of vehicle
one that preferred doing the far more reasonable 55 mph.
and, in one case, the wrong age.
when drunk and 15 years old, I still drive better than EVARYONE!!!!
SomeNYGuy said,
August 18, 2009 at 14:39
Hey — at least (judging by that photo) Selwyn has a STEADY JOB!!!!
a different mikey said,
August 18, 2009 at 14:41
That would be some bad trip. You’re on the can and reach for the roll and the dispenser grows a face and starts wuffing and snapping like the cowardly lion.
Then it starts to talk. And it sounds like Orly Taitz.
Scott said,
August 18, 2009 at 14:41
I could tell you about a couple of incidents….
As soon as one happens to me, really I could.
He’d tell you all about it, but he’s busy talking to a cabbie first…
Legalize said,
August 18, 2009 at 14:57
Wow, Fail from the opening sentence:
“When Barack Obama said that the Henry Louis Gates affair was a teaching moment, he spoke truly.”
Truly? Also.
The Spoof said,
August 18, 2009 at 14:59
Impress my toast, fibs!
Pere Ubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:00
Of course, we all know what is coming. Many will say that I’m prejudiced for painting all the members of such a large group with the same brush. But let’s note that “prejudice” in the negative sense denotes an unfavorable opinion about a person, group or thing that has no basis in reality.
Oh, why , YES, why didn’t anyone think of this before?
Uh, wait. Under your own definition, Mr. Selwyn, blacks can’t be prejudiced. After all, there was that 400 year “slavery” thing, followed by about a hundred years of beatings, firehoses, dogs, nightsticks, the KKK and general free-floating bigotry. As well as the bias and bigotry we’ve seen, well, since this past January 20th.
But do go on shooting yourself in your own foot, there, m’sieur!
Pere Ubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:01
“Always believe the Shorter” is Sadly, No’s “always stay on the goddamn boat”.
Also our “don’t answer the phone”, “don’t go in the basement”, and “don’t break up the party”.
TruthOfAngels said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:02
Me too. Admittedly, I can’t actually drive, but at least I am doing the not-driving in 1994. It’s like Back To The Future, without me snogging my mum.
Michael G. said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:03
That Delay link reminds me of an art project I never got around to. I wanted to make a video of clips of the old administration dancing set to The Future by Leonard Cohen.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:10
I got to the part about Colin Powell and weak sisters and have managed to synthesize Duke’s perspective. Note that I am giving Duke the extreme benefit of the doubt, I am going to pretend that he’s not a hideously racist piece of shit. Anyways, here’s Selwyn Duke’s worldview:
Worth as a human being = your degree of conservatism.
It’s another aspect of the ridiculous duality that conservatives have poisoned themselves with. Their basic definition is that everything conservative is good and that anything not conservative is bad. Let’s call this tendency it the Duality Pantload Factor after that magical axiom that vegetarians = Nazis.
This is how conservatives explain stuff like “Obama is a racist”. Because Obama is the enemy of conservatism and overt racism is seen as a societal ill, therefore the first black President = whitey-hating Dolemite-esque negroid who’s gonna fuck your daughter.
Since environmentalism is not conservative and Civlization is in engaged in a War Against Terror, thus Greenpeace = ecoterrorists.
It’s why they can’t recognize the atrocities at Haditha or Abu Ghraib or any of the huge variety of inhuman actions by US servicemen. Because the Troops = good, therefore they can never do anything wrong. Also note that since Troops = good, all members of the military are conservative, hence why all military or ex-military liberals get branded as fake soldiers.
And it’s why there are stupid fucktards who are opposing health care. Providing medical aid to the sick and needy? That is now considered an inherently evil thing to do – because liberals support it.
Michael G. said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:17
Not bad, DKW. I think that many black Americans are probably conservative, but they feel they can’t vote for a Republican. All of the dog-whistle racism is still ringing in their ears, so they vote for someone who isn’t objectively against. In all of these self-pity “black people are the real racists” essays, the writers seem oblivious to the legacy (well, recent history, ongoing events…) of racism in the Republican party. I mean, these guys were the friends of apartheid South Africa.
Lunch Lady said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:18
Someday, you’ll remember Waldorf salad fondly, kid.
Jennifer said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:21
Proctology is theft.
Selwyn is a turdburglar.
R. Porrofatto said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:24
a regular guest on the award-winning Michael Savage Show
What fucking award is that? A Stormie? The Horst Wessel Humanitarian Award? Mr. Congenitality? They give awards for this shit now?
g said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:26
“Always believe the Shorter” is Sadly, No’s “always stay on the goddamn boat”.
This time I am going to believe it, I swear. Don’t let me click on that link!!!!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:26
Providing medical aid to the sick and needy? That is now considered an inherently evil thing to do – because liberals support it.
=================================================
Helping the poors makes baby Free Market Jesus™ cry.
~
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:28
DON’T CLICK THAT LINK, g!!!
Orly Taitz said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:31
Remember the good old days? When it was all about the birth certificate? Ah … good times.
Steerpike said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:43
People we disagree with are “liberals”;
liberals is eeevul
Racism is evil, therefore racism must be liberal, QED;
If liberals support it, we hates it;
If it irritates liberals, we supports it.
(And no, we’re not going to fall for the “it really irritates liberals when you jam sharpened pencils in your ears” trick again, and..huh?…what?)
Just Joe said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:44
This whole “Obama hates whites” thing… is there any point in reminding these people that his MOTHER is white?
Citizen_X said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:46
Come on, now. Wouldn’t you be nursing nasty little grudges all your life if your parents had named you “Selwyn?”
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:50
MG,
A lot of minority folks have similar views to social conservatives. Illegal immigrants particularly come from much more conservative societies, and are generally in the country to work and make money. But Duke and his ilk see all of these people as hedonistic lie-berals with the ghey buttsecks and vegetarian high taxations. Because immigrants = bad, therefore they must all be ACORN community organizers and support whatever major league sports franchise is the biggest rival to yours.
Don’t get me wrong, Selwyn Duke is racist as hell, as are a whole heckuva lotta conservatives. And the Duality Pantload Factor exacerbates the problem because this dog-whistle pretend-it’s-not-racism bullshit has been fully absorbed by the conservative movement. Therefore pissing and moaning about “reverse racism” is good.
Note that Selwyn’s “point” is that prejudice is not always bad, presumably because so very many conservatives engage in it so very often.
Steerpike said,
August 18, 2009 at 15:59
is there any point in reminding these people that his MOTHER is white?
Of course there’s no “point”
First, Obama’s mother is conveeeeniently dead, so there is no way of verifying her supposed “whiteness”. All the photos of her could have been altered, or she could have received an early version of the Michael Jackson skin bleaching technique. Why is Obama preventing us from exhuming her body for verification?
Second, even if she was “white”, she was a liberal, atheist hippy who married not one but two! undeniably non-white men!!! She obviously had a deep-seated hatred of whites herself.
And finally, with a name like “Stanley Ann”, she was most likely a full-blown, hairy-legged, flannelshirt and Birkenstocks lesboo! Hell “she” might very well have actually been a man for all anyone can prove with out the original, hand-signed, authentic vault-copy birth certificate! How do we know “Stanley” didn’t just agree to play the part of Barack’s “mother” to hide the identity of the actual mother (an evil Kenyan she-beast from some horrible voodoo ritual)?
mingo said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:02
Note that Selwyn’s “point” is that prejudice is not always bad, presumably because so very many conservatives engage in it so very often.
good thing selwyn’s fetching hat is hiding his point.
Bitter Scribe, a writer, columnist and public speaker whose work has been published widely online and in print, on both the local and national levels said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:15
This isn’t fair. He gives several examples of good Negroes like Keyes and Sowell, knowing full well that we won’t be able to come up with similar examples of good racist turds.
Dragon-King Wangchuck, humourless dildo said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:18
Since I’m apparently in a TL:DR mood right now, I’ll bore y’all by expounding some more about Duality Pantload Factor.
Observe that since the “goodness” or “badness” of a thing has been divorced from any actual morality, and is solely a function of how conservative that thing is – the actual determination of good and bad is essentially arbitrary.
Sure there are some basic tenets or premises like “limited government” and “individual responsibility”, but these are now mere catchphrases as opposed to actual beliefs. The Bush Administration easily puts the lie to any connection those ideals have with conservatism.
No, what modern conservatism is – well it’s basically celebrity worshipping personality cultism. It’s impossible to nail down what conservative ideals or values are, but it’s easy to name conservatives or individuals who represent conservative values.
For example, Sarah Palin, despite being the quitty quitter that quits whenever quitting looks like an easy out, with her absolute loathing for personal accountability, is conservative. Therefore anything that Sarah Palin believes is automatically conservative and also therefore also automatically good.
Knowing that she’ll never ever get called on anything (i.e. the socialist redistributing of oil wealth to Alaskans or her support for the earmarky Bridge to Nowhere) she’s free to expound whatever view personally benefits her most at any given time. She knows that whatever position she holds will be accepted regardless of how crazy, kooky or even leftishly liberal it may be – because as the leading light of conservatism, the movement will adjust its core beliefs to match hers. The same for Rush or O’Reilly or GET OFF MY PHONE!!!!
Occasionally, a conservative cult leader will overstep their bounds. Afterall, with an arbitrary and ad-hoc system of morality, cognitive dissonance is a constant threat. A few months ago, Rushbo signed onto a Humane Society campaign and got lambasted by gun enthusiasts nation-wide. You see, since NRA = good, therefore the Humane Society = bad, and thus everything the Humane Society does is all part of a plot to take your guns away and lock you up in a FEMA concentration camp. That Limbaugh would side with them caused many a wingnut head to explode. Limbaugh had failed conservatism.
For less than a week. Remember that the conservative ethic is completely malleable and without any actual foundation, thus pariahs can become paragons in the blink of an eye or more appropriately the bashing of a negro president. And that brings us to the next deep insight about these fucktard jerkholes – which will have to wait on account of comment length and the risk of piefiltration.
TL:DR version
PENIS.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:20
DKW, I think the racism is enough to explain it all, and the logical disconnect comes from the flailing rationalisations after that simple fact. white immigrants are never demonized, at least not recently.
Occam’s Razor? Let’s call that Zombie’s Teeth.
Rusty Shackleford said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:21
Editor’s note: Listen to an hour of Salon’s interview with Orly Taitz here.
*shudder*
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:23
Observe that since the “goodness” or “badness” of a thing has been divorced from any actual morality, and is solely a function of how conservative that thing is – the actual determination of good and bad is essentially arbitrary.
This, however, is true.
Hilariously true, when BreitBlart and his gang apply it to movies, or, and please don’t make me laugh that hard again, punk rock.
The Public Option is Dead said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:28
Just thought I’d take time to remind all the libs that their precious socialist public option is dead as a doornail. Suck it!
The Public Option is Dead said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:30
“No, what modern conservatism is – well it’s basically celebrity worshipping personality cultism. ”
Says the party of Barack Obama. Jesus, cognitive dissonance, much?
Pere Ubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:34
Observe that since the “goodness” or “badness” of a thing has been divorced from any actual morality
Silly DKW – “morality” is only for sex!
War, torture, racism, greed, selfishness, hatred, theft, corruption – not so much.
oblio's cap said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:35
“good thing selwyn’s fetching hat is hiding his point.”
I resent that!
Willy said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:35
War, torture, racism, greed, selfishness, hatred, theft, corruption
It’s all in the Good Book(tm)
Pere Ubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:38
Yes.
Yes, we worship Barack Obama like unto a god.
Yes, we post pictures of him artfully staged to look like there’s a halo over his head, and post scary bumper stickers on our cars with a single initial, almost like some sort of swastika or something.
Oh, wait, that was Bush.
But, even so, we worship the ground he walks so lightly on and want to name everything in the country after him and carve his face into Mount Rushmore and put his mug on the dime.
Oh, wait, that was Reagan.
Huh. And we’re the “cult of personality” ones. Yup.
St. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:39
Jesus, cognitive dissonance, much?
This is exactly what I mean. Personality cultism = bad, therefore liberalism is all Obama personality cultism.
You want me to find stuff I disagree with Obama about?
First and foremost is his continued patience and willingness to deal with GOP senators and other shotbags.
Hit position on DADT, even the new one without the gay bashing language.
His reluctance to investigate teh war crimes of the previous admin and his ongoing torture cover-up.
His approach to closing Gitmo and his claim to the power of indefinite detention without charge.
The coddling that the huge financial industry giants got with TARP administration.
Although de-funding abstinence only education is plus, the continued existence of government funded faith-based programs is still a fucking insult.
I used to think it was all about projection with you idiots, and that’s definitely a part of it – but try and understand, your accusations of us worshipping the ObaMessiah as Liberal Jesus are wrong and unfounded. Sure there are some folks who are die-hard Obama is always right morans, and they get their fair share of roasting here too, but the vast majority of liberals value liberal ideals over liberal leaders.
The "O" Sign said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:39
post scary bumper stickers on our cars with a single initial
Pere Ubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:46
The “O” Sign said
Oh, YES, well, that’s SO much like “W – THE PRESIDENT” in red on black, yup, shurenuff.
Projection much, there, Twoofie?
mingo said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:48
Huh. And we’re the “cult of personality” ones. Yup.
that messiah meme originated entirely on the wingnut side, and betrays their own inadequacy, as does everything they do and say. We say “oh look, someone intelligent, thoughtful, and gives a good speech’. They think this means we are in instant blind worship mode, as is their practice.
Who is Projecting Now? said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:48
“Oh, YES, well, that’s SO much like “W – THE PRESIDENT” in red on black, yup, shurenuff.”
Um, this?
http://www.buzzflash.com/store/images/1343_200.jpg
Who is Projecting Now? said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:49
Not to mention just about every black, whigger, and white liberal owns a t-shirt with Obama’s mug on it.
Pere Ubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:50
your accusations of us worshipping the ObaMessiah as Liberal Jesus are wrong and unfounded
I’m sure their reasoning goes something along “well why vote for a scary black man who’s so unqualified and not even American unless you worship him” or some such. And white guilt also too.
St. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:50
FFS, the mini-liberal freakout that was going on last night, the one that’s got Troofus as pleased as a pig in shit. Because the Administration was making some vague noises that seemed like walking back on a robust public option? Guess why?
Health Care >> Obama.
And this is as a hardcore Obot who lives in Canada and already has universal health care.
I’m not saying I’m without fault
even though I am, or that there aren’t any mindless Obama-worshipping drones that think his farts smell of roses – but those folks are fucking marginalized and attacked by liberals as brainwashed morans. Their numbers are low. They are few and far between.c.f.
Sarah fucking Palin? Are you fucking serious? Not to mention that long dark time under the Reign of Invade-y McTortures-a-lot.
Pere Ubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:51
Not to mention just about every black, whigger, and white liberal owns a t-shirt with Obama’s mug on it.
George Soros and the DNC haven’t sent me mine yet.
Who's Troofus Now? said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:52
I love bookmarks:
————
The Truth About Leaving Sadly No said,
August 13, 2009 at 20:57
I think I’ve made my point.
Now I will leave here, forever, no longer visiting or posting, but I’m doing this voluntarily out of my own desire.
And this is not a spoofer. This is the real Truth/Authentic.
By, fuckers.
————-
St. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:53
Hey, here’s a challenge for Mr. Projecting Projection the Trooferifically Wrong –
I put up a list of stuff I disagreed with Obama on. Now you do the same with your beloved Mooseburger.
SomeNYGuy said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:55
I put up a list of stuff I disagreed with Obama on. Now you do the same with your beloved Mooseburger.
Troofus is miffed at Bible Spice’s refusal to allow him to sexually molest Trig (but only because Troofus can’t make the required “campaign contribution.”)
Who is Projecting Now? said,
August 18, 2009 at 16:59
Here’s stuff I disagree with Bush on:
*TARP
*Medicare Part D
*No Child Left Behind
*The deficit her ran up
Palin:
*TARP
*The Socialist scheme for oil revenues in Alaska
The debt she ran up as Mayor
There.
Who is Projecting Now? said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:00
Another thing I disagreed with Bush on was Terry Schiavo. The feds shouldn’t have been involved in a local issue.
Pere Ubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:02
TARP?
Well, it’s useful for throwing over the back of your pickup so your stuff doesn’t get rained on, but I can’t see getting all worked up over it.
Unless you buy it at Wal-Mart. Anything from Wal-Mart is inherently evil.
St. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:03
Nicely done Troofus. Mostly vague and random plus a cribbing of my own commentary re:Alaskan oil revenues.
So you disagree with Palin over her position on TARP. Could you please explain either 1. Why you disagree with her or 2. What her position on TARP was?
Helpful hint:
http://ftalphaville.ft.com/blog/2008/09/30/16498/sarah-palins-tarp-analysis/
Pere Ubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:04
And, after all, Twoofie disagreed with Bush on not nuking Afghanistan, not nuking North Korea, not nuking Iraq, not nuking Iran, not nuking Mecca & Medina, and not solving the “illegal alien” problem by nuking Mexico.
So there’s that.
My Position on TARP said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:06
It should have never passedd congress, period. We shouldn’t spend $1 trillion of our granchldren’s money to prop up loser banks that failed in the free market.
Another thing I disagreed with Bush on: the auto bailouts.
norbizness said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:09
Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert. Judge, I rest my case.
Judge: You rest your case?
Hutz: What? Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech. CASE CLOSED.
St. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:10
Also note that Palin’s contribution to Wasilla’s relatively enormous debt load were a result of:
1. Massively mismanaging the Sports Arena build, clearly indicating her lack of ability to manage any projects with sizable capital budgets.
and
2. Tax Cuts.
So either Troofus thinks Palin is woefully unequipped for executive positions or he’s against tax cuts. Or both.
The Whole Truth said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:12
Actually, I’ll never have grandchildren because I’ll never have children because sticking my tiny dick in my mother’s ass doesn’t produce offspring, only mild annoyance when mom sobers up.
Scott said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:12
Why does Troofie hate America’s Sweetheart Sarah Palin? Why does Troofie hate America?
Pere Ubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:15
America’s Sweetheart Sarah Palin
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyrrrrrrghhhhhh *retch*
St. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:16
…by nuking Mexico
I’ve nuked some frozen burritos before (not a euphemism). They’ll do in a pinch (i.e. you are dying of starvation) but I gotta say that I’m against it. Ta da, I’ve found an issue wher I agree with Deciderer W.
General Boykin said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:17
Appointed by God
justme said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:22
Countdown to LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
in 3… 2…
SomeNYGuy said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:25
I don’t know about that. It’s always possible he’s forgotten how to spell it.
Thorlac said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:25
Can someone post a link to the kill or pie filter please?
St. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:31
Another note, since I’m apparently addicted to beating the dead horse (is a euphemism, but meant in the classic sense).
Knee-jerk response of TARP or Deficits! is not exactly the best way to demonstrate your deep understanding of issues and counter accusations of cult mentality.
Also, more cognitive dissonance. Venezuela has paid off all it’s debt to the World Bank and IMF, and has a national debt somewhere around 15% of GNP. Ta da, Troofus’ fiscal hero is teh Socialestest Socialist Hugo Chavez.
St. Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:31
I’ve found an issue wher I agree with Deciderer W.
If Gee Dumbya has any positive legacy at all, it is the Do Not Call list.
Doctorb said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:35
Well sure, slavery and segregation and lynchings and all that stuff, but most of the people complaining about that are far too young to ever have been lynched or enslaved! History begins today, you know.
roast beef kazenzakis said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:48
“Ah done disagree with Bush on Auto Bailouts”.
So if you hate how Bush and Palin claimed to be pro-free-market but were basically kleptos who took kickbacks and handed business presents to their pals at the expense of taxpayers, why the fuck do you vote for GOPers then?
Becuase that’s all they do.
Is it just that you like their race-hate and threats of violence against people you perceive as oppressing you, and that those hate points are much more important to you than any reality of fiscal and governmental conservatism?
So basically the conservative movement is not really fiscally conservative or interested in personal freedom or limited government, and you love it for being an arm of theocratic race war rich-eat-the-poor I-got-mine oligarchy?
Mr. Wonderful said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:48
Tacitus up above got it. No, no one should click the link.
BUT. If you do, you will experience the opportunity to avail yourself of a rather excellent example of rich, beautiful wing-nut prose penned–or do I mean limned–by a sensitive intellectually orientated individual for whom elaborately writing like this constitutes the acme of the apex of the English language writing with expression and intelligence, truly.
Thorlac said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:53
Actually, I got off my arse and looked for the scripts meself like a good lib. You’ll need Greasemonkey added to your browser, then dl SN Kill-Autopsy from the linky at my name.
Pere Ubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:54
BUT. If you do, you will experience the opportunity to avail yourself of a rather excellent example of rich, beautiful wing-nut prose penned–or do I mean limned–by a sensitive intellectually orientated individual for whom elaborately writing like this constitutes the acme of the apex of the English language writing with expression and intelligence, truly.
Translated into Wingnut: “THET MEAN HE DONE WRITE NICE GOOD! HYUCK! *BELCH*”
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2009 at 17:56
OT- but WTF?!? I thought vampires lived forever.
http://washingtonindependent.com/55441/bob-novak-1931-2009
Substance McGravitas said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:00
I will miss how diligently, carefully, clearly and plainly he presented evil.
Willy said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:01
Novak dead? Not until I see the stake thru his heart.
Scott said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:01
Won’t miss him. Glad he’s dead. Wish there was a hell, ’cause he deserved to suffer more.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:03
I’ll miss his ability to bring unmatched drama to stomping off in a huff.
Pere Ubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:04
Wish there was a hell, ’cause he deserved to suffer more.
I think Dante would agree with me that Novak’s at least a “Fradulent Counselor”, if not a candidate for the ice-up-to-the-eyeballs treasonous down in the Ninth.
justme said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:06
What, did someone run him over in a Corvette?
Oh, wait.
Scott said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:10
There’s going to be such a tiny contingent of mourners. Mostly the national press corps, his masters in the GOP, and that’s about it.
Liberals won’t mourn him, because we know he was the closest thing to a non-governmental Dick Cheney you’re going to get. Conservatives won’t mourn him, because they hate everyone who works in the media outside of Fox News.
There’s a lesson in there for the press, but I don’t think they’re smart enough to grasp it.
kingubu said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:12
WTF?!? I thought vampires lived forever.
After centuries of mounting despair and ennui, Novak stood out on the roof to greet the sun while that goth chick from the X-Men movie stood by and cried.
Substance McGravitas said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:16
I disagree. A lot of people kissed his ass and a lot of people fed him information. He was really plugged in, representing the worst kind of Beltway chumminess despite an obviously odious personality and agenda.
Valerie Plame said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:19
Novak would often tell aspiring journalists to pick a different field if their goal was to change the world. But, by simply aiming to inform and to do his job as well he could, Novak changed the lives of his readers and those of us blessed to work with him.
Yes, he certainly changed my life. Good riddance, you malignant fucking shitstain.
jim said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:23
Novak dead? Not until I see the stake thru his heart.
Sorry, but that’s not going to be enough for me. After you drive the stake in, you better cut off the head, stuff its mouth with garlic, bury the remains at a crossroads under a full moon, & nuke the site from orbit just to make sure.
"Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut" said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:24
Trading Places 2
Act 1, Scene 1
Setting: A busy modern American trading floor, where the activity has been momentarily interrupted by an old white man on a stretcher being taken away by first responders.
Female Voice over Louspeaker: “Paging Mr. Duke. Mr. Selwyn Duke. Please report to the trading floor immediately. Your father, Mr. Duke, has suffered a heart attack. That is all.”
Tommmcatt said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:25
Troofus is back? I wouldn’t know because I killfiled him long ago. Who won the poll? Was his first post a nymjack?
Nom de Plume said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:38
Good riddance, you malignant fucking shitstain.
This is what I love about the comments here. We are free to dispense with all the pro forma “moment of silence” bullshit and say what’s really on our minds.
The world is a slightly better place today.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:43
I prefer to think of ALL of Troofy’s hate-filled ignorant posts as ‘nym-jack-assed’
roast beef kazenzakis said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:43
Bob Novak dies, Simon Belmont picked up for questioning. Film at nine! Ten! eleven! Ah ah ah ahhhh! Eleven o’clock!
Novakula’s body will be split up and each part buried in a different castlw guarded by an undead boss monster.
Mr. Wonderful said,
August 18, 2009 at 18:47
“…& nuke the site from orbit just to make sure..”
Mission creep? No. Due diligence. Well said.
jim said,
August 18, 2009 at 19:00
Check out the poll on the reaction to Novakula’s untimely demise … I suspect they’ll have to shut it down due to Reality Overload soon – so vote while you still can, America! The Poll-Death Panel is about to convene!
henry lewis said,
August 18, 2009 at 19:11
Can I agree with Selwyn on one thing? Yes, there are white people that black people hate. Who could blame them?
As for Rev. Wright: openly-rifle-totin’ tinydicks near a presidential rally AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT is definitely a Goddamn America moment.
I can’t seem to get the pie-filter to work with Safari (where all my bookmarks are) so I just use Instantaneous Eyeglaze.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 18, 2009 at 19:12
How long until Malkin claims Novak was the test subject for an Obama Brand Death Panel?
artsandcroissants said,
August 18, 2009 at 20:48
Right on! Mr. Duke appears to have it together.
Just did a search on shitters, trying to find a toilet for my treehouse that doesn’t use toilet paper or water and your site came up….
Trying to reconcile using ass wipe when I take a shit, unfortunately, toilet paper is made of pulp wood, which means logging all the forests. Haven’t been able to sleep since making that discovery.
Tried the same thing those in Afganistan do, carried a bottle of water around in my pockets wiped with my bare hand and washed off, my professor here at Evergreen Community College told me he couldn’t focus on teaching global warming while smelling my hand in class.
Damn, you guys rock! Glad to be a liberal asshole!!
Ray Hicks said,
August 18, 2009 at 21:15
I can’t figure you twats out. All you ever do is bitch, bitch, bitch; but never have a solution. Try coming over to my blog and getting into some serious discussion with the best. Me.
Your all a bunch of wackjobs……
http://www.rayhickslovesyou.blogspot.com/
agum said,
August 18, 2009 at 21:22
Count on a know-nothing conservative blowhard to be ignorant about both America’s most famous dog (Rin Tin Tin) and the world’s most popular comic book series (Tintin and his dog, Snowy).
It’s a double barrel of cultural incompetence.
In Selwyn’s defense, he’s probably extremely well informed about lolicon anime.
Smut Clyde said,
August 18, 2009 at 21:23
selwyn’s fetching hat
I refuse to fix that error. Too obvious.
mmy said,
August 18, 2009 at 21:35
a) Apparently Mr. Duke doesn’t know this is a humor blog. If he was looking for “substantive” rejoinders, he came to the wrong place. This is the blog where flaming bags of virtual poo are placed at his doorstep every time he writes something dumb.
b) Having been a high school debater myself, I can say that “the inability to address substantively even one point … [is] an admission of defeat” is the hackiest possible argument someone can make.
M. Bouffant said,
August 18, 2009 at 21:44
News to Ray Hicks: The only solution to the never-ending problems your horrid species continues to cause for itself is death.
And telling people like you to fuck off & die becomes mighty dull mighty soon, so fun is poked & amusement hoped for as everything goes to hell.
Can you beat that w/ “some serious discussion?”
M. Bouffant said,
August 18, 2009 at 21:46
Dok. Smut, too late, I hallucinated it that way on first reading.
M. Bouffant said,
August 18, 2009 at 21:50
No, we just can’t get enuugh of your 2500-word (!!!!) piece, Smellwyn!
Hay-soos, 2,500 wds.! Never been happier about not-clicking.
Paul T. Lazaro said,
August 18, 2009 at 22:28
I left this over there for Smervin:
I’m sorry you became a target for the Sadly No “Ugly Tongue:” they are the WORST! By the way, you are confusing “Rin-Tin-Tin,” the famous movie dog with “Tintin,” a character from the EUROPEAN comic books who used to get up to all sorts of intrigue. Just so you know. Anyway, keep up the good work, and stay true to your convictions! Are you any relation to David Duke?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 18, 2009 at 23:36
we should be abashed at the ironclad logic of this new cicero. “for all intents and purposes” and “by definition” almost seem to fulfill some function in this sentance.
He must get paid a penny per word, like the pulp writers of yore. I am amazed that he didn’t use the adjective “Stygian” to modify the noun “blacks”.
I imagine Robert E. Howard would have written like Selwyn Duke if he hadn’t had talent.
Charles Giacometti said,
August 18, 2009 at 23:42
David, err, Selwyn Duke could live 100,000 years and never know which logical fallacy he falls into perfectly with the sentence, “However, I will take the inability to address substantively even one point in a 2500-word piece [of shit] as an admission of defeat.”
It’s precious really how he imagines he is taking some high intellectual road while coughing up one hairball of stupidity and faulty logic after another.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 19, 2009 at 0:02
I know what you’re thinking. “Did he enumerate six inherently contradictory premises or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is an epistemological solipsist inquiry, the most head-up-your-own-ass philosophical venture short of Randroid mumblings in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 19, 2009 at 0:03
Makes more sense in the proper thread. I’ma gonna copy it over there.
who is willie gault? said,
August 19, 2009 at 0:19
Having been a high school debater myself, I can say that “the inability to address substantively even one point … [is] an admission of defeat” is the hackiest possible argument someone can make.
How do you say, “He who denied it, supplied it” in Latin? Reductio ad douchetardium?
who is willie gault? said,
August 19, 2009 at 0:23
Indeed, how could you argue with something like that? It’s almost written in English, after all.
Batocchio said,
August 19, 2009 at 0:59
I take it he’s confused Tintin with Snowy (Milou)? Two of the examples he provides are pretty dumb phantom discrimination incidents, but that’s hardly the general rule. The persecuted-white-man thing was old thirty years ago.
LittlePig said,
August 19, 2009 at 1:00
Your all a bunch of wackjobs……
Yet we can form the contraction of you are. Advantage: us.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 19, 2009 at 1:04
Heh, I read who is willie gault as who is white guilt.
Regarding the whole “demonization” thing, it’s all about projection for these fuckers.
stackozone said,
August 19, 2009 at 1:39
selwyn’s feltching hat
There, FIFY.
Arky - Geek God said,
August 19, 2009 at 1:54
We’re supposed to believe Selwyn Duke is his real name?
Blarharhar!!
Another kiwi said,
August 19, 2009 at 2:07
Selwyn Duke thinks Tintin is a dog.
Rin tin tin is whom he speaks of not the Belgian ace reporter.
“Excuse me, is this my stop, Epic Fail?”
joestork said,
August 19, 2009 at 2:33
Snowy’s the dog, you tard
girzwald said,
August 19, 2009 at 3:14
Kirby says your response to selwyn duke sucks
p( ‘ ‘ )p
Dawg said,
August 19, 2009 at 4:01
uh, tintin is a dog? I thought he was a comic character/reporter.
Christopher said,
August 19, 2009 at 5:02
Well, a while back I said I’d go on an axe murder spree if I heard the phrase “wise latina woman” just one more time, and here it is.
Their deaths will be on your head, Duke, you racist fuck.
Well, fucker, the kid’s dad sure as hell grew up drinking from a segregated fountain. Maybe, just maybe, that had some kind of effect on him.
I simply can’t fathom this attitude that says “Hey, overt racism has been marginalized for nearly fourty years, surely that’s enough time to completely erase several centuries of institutionalized racism!” the attitude that says, “Sure your parents grew up in a time when large swathes of the US Government and civilian population were overtly racist, but I can’t see how that could possibly have any effect on you!”
It’s insane and disgusting.
RvB said,
August 19, 2009 at 14:23
Count me as pissed that this individual mistakes crusading investigative reporter Tintin for his dog Snowy. Thus invalidating everything he wrote and everything he will ever write. Shall I describe what he looks like in that bonnet of his?
William K. Wolfrum said,
August 19, 2009 at 15:13
Don’t let the mean Libs get ya down, Judge Smails. Oh, and don’t brag about writing 2,500-word posts. It’s a little bit McVeigh-y. ;)
tigrismus said,
August 19, 2009 at 15:18
Jesus, Christopher, that second excerpt is gross: “sixteen year old kid doesn’t unambiguously phrase his point, though his meaning is perfectly clear, allowing me to respond with a spectacularly dishonest ad hominem non sequitur!”
Michael said,
August 19, 2009 at 16:23
He iz not aware of all internet tradishuns.
Snowy said,
August 19, 2009 at 16:59
Au contraire, Selwyn. I wrote all of Tintin’s articles.
Dragon-King Wangchuck, the Arlo Guthrie of RedState said,
August 19, 2009 at 18:09
Jesus, Christopher, that second excerpt is gross…
To be fair to Selwyn, that sixteen year old tied him up so much with his question that Selwyn had to admit to blowing goats in order to save face. We grow them pretty smarts in hogtown, although you don’t need that many smarts to get the better of Selwyn Duke.
Anywho, the ad hominem non sequitur (I do believe you called it) is doubly funny because it refutes the central point of his entire racist screed. To wit:
The sixteen year old identified with his identity group! OMG, he’s a racist!!!
Racial profiling is okay because identifying groups more likely to be
abused by both the police and the justice systemarrestable makes police officers more efficient!IOW, fuck you Selwyn Duke.
Bob Loblaw said,
August 19, 2009 at 19:24
However, I will take the inability to address substantively even one point in a 2500-word piece as an admission of defeat.
I’m sure you will, Little Napoleon. Celebrate and treat yourself to a JUMBO bag of Doritos tonight!
chocolatepie said,
August 19, 2009 at 23:00
Who needs to know that Tintin’s not a dog? He’s French, and that’s enough for me.
(He’s BELGIAN, god dammit)
St. Bina, Queen of Sheba said,
August 20, 2009 at 6:05
I don’t, and I’m a REAL socialist.
Suck on that, you knob.
St. Bina, Queen of Sheba said,
August 20, 2009 at 6:07
PS: Nice ill-concealed racism you got there too, Twoofie. (I’m talking about the “whigger”.)
Can I infer from this thread that you are really Selwyn “David” Duke?
nitpicker said,
August 20, 2009 at 16:55
Someone who thinks the name Tintin refers to a show about a german shepherd is someone to whom no one should listen…
Selwyn Duke's Biological Mother said,
August 20, 2009 at 19:03
If weren’t for German Shepards, Selwyn would never get laid.