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FEDERAL ARREST OF TREASONER OBAMA IS CREDIBLY REPORTED TO OCCUR IN 60 TO 90 DAYS!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
All this time, we’ve been letting the days drop from our Far Side desk calendar and the weeks fly away on their little stylized wings, and even the calendar page of a month come spinning toward the camera, as we sat here covered in cobwebs watching a snail traversing the wall, with an aged paperboy at the door demanding payment in Buffalo nickels and with such gray-and-white wireless kinescope programming on the videogramaphone as DuPont Chemical Presents Little ‘Lectrical Lyceum Featuring Ned Waring — which is back from the old days when you could have picture and sound on your Bendix set, but not both at once, and had to flip the switch to ‘auditory’ when ol’ Waring came on with his orchestra.
Or about 30 seconds beforehand if you were really sharp, because then the 6SJ7 tube would heat up really good and Waring’s Three-Clarinet Threat would roar like ‘t’-total Topsy right out of the streetcar shed. Whoah, I’m telling ya, if you weren’t one of the boys on the base ball squad or glee club, having a feisty flip finger was the ticket to a gandy dance in Popeye pants, and if you weren’t traveling Pullman, you were walkin’, my little company man. I’m talking girdles, which is what we called girls back then before feminism.
Later on, when the automatic switchers came on the sets, you had to be a pair-of-Colts hand on the uke-a-lope, or the Hawaiian banjo, and that was a whole different hau`oli makahiki hou.
No, but if it was a dull night with Waring, some people would flip back to the ‘see’ setting, and that’s how you had the scandal about the giant hooch bottle on the bandstand, after some triple-’a’ abstainer got bored listening to “Minnetonka Hut-Hut-Hike,” and flipped back to the 6SL7 tube to see Jack ‘Hooch’ Meeber’s bass fiddle case standing up in front of the stage. It’s how you got the rumors that a Negro would come out and replace the lead trumpeter, or that the accordionist would sit down and have a smoke while a fat man with a long beard came out smiling for the solo of “Who Put the Schnitzelbonk in Father Murphy’s Cassock,” wiggling his eyebrows up and down as he squeezed the ol’ steam radiator like some character from the downtown theatre, like the Schmatte Merchant in So Skulnik Becomes a Bridegroom, Already, or Shlemiel in Schlemiel and Schlemazl Become Bridegrooms.
And finally what you heard was that the whole stage would rotate and Waring’s boys would glide off-camera already uncorking their flasks and dealing cards while an ensemble of deepest complexion called Cole Ringer and his High-Stepping Dixie Masons slid into place, counting off numbers like “Apple Dumpling Memories” and “Bim Bam Binky” and performing them with that unusual ferocity for which Waring’s boys were known, while making amused faces in a disrespectful manner. There was a Negro rock music group in the 1970s that depicted this on one of their album covers. High Stepping by Nat Turner Overdrive.
But yes, the flipping-back is also why you always had some fellow at school swearing that ladies would sometimes walk around in swimming suits, only you had to catch it on that certain exact night. Oh I’m telling you, Gus, whatever night you tried it, that wasn’t the one!
Um, what was I…? Oh, all this time, we’ve been laconically flipping cards into a hat as the tired plank of the cuckoo clock hung out presenting the dead mechanical cuckoo bird with its legs in the air and its pink felt tongue hanging out of its upside-down beak, with ‘X’es for eyes no less, lolly-dallying and shillygagging, singing Polly Wolly Doodle all the day — in short, behaving casually in regard to the passing of time — when little did we suspect…
JAG HUNTER here:
Um, that’s the wingnut with the Military.com site award who criticizes the Judge Advocate General’s Corps while sounding like he’s searching for a British luxury car in which to have an extended drinking bout. And/or just plain suggests masturbation.
Reports have been coming in for several days that the IMPOSTOR OBAMA will be placed under federal arrest in anywhere from 60 to 90 days for TREASON!
That was like 40 days ago! With only 20 to 50 days to go!
WELL DONE to AMERICA’S GRAND JURIES!
The narcissistic grandiosity of the wingnut: If you get a few of your friends together, you can arbitrarily decide that you are a grand jury under the full authority of the Constitution, and you can take your anger out on people by legally indicting them for capital crimes — which you will then (somehow, it never fails) find yourselves legally empowered to prosecute as a prosecutor, produce a verdict for as a jury, and also sentence as a judge and then punish using weapons guaranteed you as a private citizen under the Second Amendment.
It never occurs to you, nor does it even make sense to you, that if you were able to sit down with a few people in your den, on the old couch that was rotated out of the living room and the mismatched beige folding chairs from the garage, with or without soft drinks and Chex Party Mix, and declare yourself literally and without irony to be the federal government, then other people would also be able to sit down in their dens and do this to you.
“That’s different!” the wingnut thinks, not understanding that everyone else also thinks that. “Why, that’s just moral relativism,” the wingnut argues, actually meaning ‘universalism,’ which is the precise opposite and the idea that he really despises.
A secret of the wingnut mind is that ‘relativism’ means the false and insulting notion that the pretend people that we encounter in dreams and in works of fiction are equal to ourselves. “You can’t just become the federal government,” the wingnut hears. “What if Screech from Saved By the Bell or Spongebob’s friend Patrick just arbitrarily decided they were the federal government? Would you accept their authority?” “Pff, as if,” he thinks, also meaning so-called ‘real’ citizens and groups that fail the test of reality by neither obeying his commands the way his hands, dog, and sometimes children do, or terrifying him into obeisance the way his boss, wife, and sometimes penis does.
OBAMA’S is to be the first of tens if not hundreds of arrests of OBAMA’S TREASONOUS CRIMINAL ASSISTANTS!
By the new federal government. Because oh, as we’ve seen, the prior so-called Department of Justice was labeling conservatives as ‘right-wing extremists’ and preparing to put them in concentration camps:
OBAMA’s military preparations for OBAMA’S planned deployment of troops into American communities to exercise martial law have been carried out in plain view for months.
The term ‘plain view’ is another of those things that turned treasonous, forcing wingnuts to tense up and grunt and be that thing so that its reality is more in line with actual reality. It now refers to things plainly seen to exist except in the out-there-place with the so-called ‘world’ and the prove-it people who can’t see anything except their own little objective universe.
Details emerging suggest that military commanders are refusing to obey OBAMA’s orders recognizing OBAMA as a TREASONOUS foreign born domestic enemy.
K.P. details, sure, but that’s just the beginning. Before you know it, the very officers ordering them to peel toilets and scrub potatoes with a toothbrush will be like, “Wait a minute, why is Obama issuing orders recognizing Obama as a treasonous foreign-born domestic enemy? It must be some kind of reverse psychology…”
HERE ENDTH THE LESSON!
We waitth with batedth breadth.
Well done to Netty Wisbaum & Mack Ellis!
We’ll have ours rarer, thanks.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:23
The narcissistic grandiosity of the wingnut: If you get a few of your friends together, you can arbitrarily decide that you are a grand jury under the full authority of the Constitution
This works particularly well with a case of Old Milwaukee and a few fifths of Jack Daniels.
jim said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:27
Netty Wisbaum?
I hear a little peroxide can clear that right up for you in about two weeks. Just avoid strenuous activity while it’s healing.
Marco said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:30
I know this is on the nose, bu sounds like he found the JAG already.
Pryme said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:30
You have a Far Side desk calendar?!? Awesome.
So what with the treason and the who now?
W. Kiernan said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:32
“Treasoner”? Is that a word? (Well, I guess it’s a word now.) What’s wrong with “traitor”?
slippytoad said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:34
I also enjoy how Jag Hunter is re-writing those old and outmoded silly English nouns. I mean, traitor and treason are so close that we can just throw away one of those stuffy old words and get Newspeak treasoner.
PeeJ said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:34
The 12SJ7 had a different heater which made it a better tube for the application. But that’s just my opinion.
Also, I once drove Fred Waring’s Cadillac.
Pere Ubu said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:37
“What if Screech from Saved By the Bell or Spongebob’s friend Patrick just arbitrarily decided they were the federal government? Would you accept their authority?”
Wahl, those be FICTIONAL characters.
Um, come to think of it, do we have any proof JAG HUNTER is a real person?
actor212 said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:39
Um, come to think of it, do we have any proof JAG HUNTER is a real person?
Well, if he’s MILF HUNTER’s brother, I know Milfie is a real person…
slippytoad said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:40
Pere, I actually met Squidward at DragonCon one year. No seriously, he looks just like Squidward. And he talked exactly like him too. Introduced himself to my daughter in that Squidward voice. I forgot to ask him to say “Fish Paste” for me.
I’d be ok with Squidward for President. Clarinets and bicycling all day long.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:42
“Treasoner”? Is that a word?
He was that guy on 60 Minutes way back when.
actor212 said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:43
“Treasoner”? Is that a word?
He was that guy on 60 Minutes way back when.
I thought he was Increase Mather’s more corrupt brother.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:44
But the part I don’t get is how if Obama is a foreigner, he’s a traitor. He can’t be betraying the U.S., because he doesn’t belong to it. He isn’t betraying his own country, whatever that is, because he’s carrying out its orders.
Therefore, not a traitor. Plbphhhphhbt.
Scott said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:45
the accordionist would sit down and have a smoke while a fat man with a long beard came out smiling for the solo of “Who Put the Schnitzelbonk in Father Murphy’s Cassock,” wiggling his eyebrows up and down as he squeezed the ol’ steam radiator like some character from the downtown theatre
Somehow, you’ve transcribed Pam Gellar’s wettest dreams. Now I must destroy you.
Michael G. said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:45
OBAMA’S is to be the first of tens if not hundreds of arrests of OBAMA’S TREASONOUS CRIMINAL ASSISTANTS!
Oh, those apostrophes are tricky, tricky things.
It never occurs to you, nor does it even make sense to you, that if you were able to sit down with a few people in your den, on the old couch that was rotated out of the living room and the mismatched beige folding chairs from the garage, with or without soft drinks and Chex Party Mix, and declare yourself literally and without irony to be the federal government, then other people would also be able to sit down in their dens and do this to you.
No, that requires reflection and empathy. Having those qualifications precludes this sort of wingnuttery or the use of the word “sheeple.”
Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:45
He was that guy on 60 Minutes way back when.
You got there ahead of me, Xecky.
OT – Boston SadlyFest on Sunday afternoon? Anyone?
O-OT – Anyone in the Boston area know of any apartments coming open that would be good for a couple with a newborn whose landlord heartlessly gave them notice that they have to move either two weeks before or two weeks after their due date because he wants to move his kid into their apartment?
Proper Gander said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:46
Wingnut: You have challenged my / the US’s / Dick Cheney’s moral exceptionalism. You stand accused of moral relativism.
Logic: That doesn’t make any sense.
Wingnut proceeds to bind and gag logic.
Wingnut (falsetto): I’m Logic and I agree!
Logic’s mouth slips free of gag
Logic: Who are you even talking to?
Wingnut: The judge and jury!
Logic: I don’t see anyone,
Wingnut: Shut up, you’re guilty! I hereby sentence you to death!
Logic slips ropes and throws self out of window, screaming
Wingnut (sobbing): Why does everyone do that?
Lesley said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:48
Tim Horton’s rejects Rhode Island homophobes bid for sponsorship.
Choke on that donut, haters.
M. Bouffant said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:49
From the plus ça change file: JFK Wanted For Treason.
“He has been lax in enforcing Communist Registration laws.”
Squidward should rule us all.
Thorlac said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:51
Just went over there and peeked at a few postings. I’d say he should be committed, but he’d probably use it as an excuse to start shooting up his local gubmint offices. He really seems to believe that the jackboots are stomping down his street on the way to get his guns and throw him in a camp. The level paranoia is frightening. I’m happy to see that there are no commenters over there. Maybe even freepers are scared of him.
tigrismus said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:51
Ist das nicht ein Schnitzelbank? Ja, das ist ein Schnitzelbank!
OK, back to reading.
Scott said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:52
Wingnut (falsetto): I’m Logic and I agree!
This is the most perfect one-line description of modern conservatism ever.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:52
America’s Grand
JuriesWizards.Much better!
Scott C. said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:56
I believe Jag Hunter is Walter Francis Fitzpatrick III, a former Lt. Commander who was forcibly retired from the US Navy and has been on an anti-Judge Advocate General, I-AM-the-Law! crusade ever since. Based on our experience at World o’ Crap, S,N! proprietors and commenters will shortly receive a stinging rebuke via email, including an odd profusion of pastel-colored html links, and references to the Battle of Cowpens during the Revolutionary War, which I gather was intended as an unanswerable “touché!”
Thorlac said,
August 10, 2009 at 22:59
Oh yeah! That guy! Maybe I should provide my email addy also…
M. Bouffant said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:00
Our kind hostess & her paramour about to be cast on the street, newborn in hand or baby sling!
Sweet Blood of Jesus (Is there a parallel w/ that story?) can anyone provide any reason whatsoever not to make the streets run red w/ the blood of the landlords? The feudalism in the word alone should be all that’s needed for conviction.
I mean, shit!!
I’ve got several landlords on this coast well deserving of an untimely end. Maybe we can work out one of those “Strangers on A Train” deals & help each other w/ our problems. How could they suspect?
And not to be cynical or anything, but do you think moving Landlord Jr. in is legit? Bet you could get a few mos. delay by threatening to have an attorney scream “Baby Discrimination.”
Assuming the SocRep of Mass has such laws, of course.
Pere Ubu said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:10
When a group of married couples renew their wedding vows this Sunday as part of an anti-gay marriage event in Rhode Island
Seee, the magic caused by their wholesome hetero marriage vows will wipe Warwick clean of the homoSEXSHULE darkness!
No, seriously – what do they think this is going to do, other than give everyone in ths country who’s NOT insane a good laugh at their expense?
Pere Ubu said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:11
references to the Battle of Cowpenis
Fikq’d
actor212 said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:11
I believe Jag Hunter is Walter Francis Fitzpatrick III, a former Lt. Commander who was forcibly retired from the US Navy and has been on an anti-Judge Advocate General, I-AM-the-Law! crusade ever since. Based on our experience at World o’ Crap, S,N! proprietors and commenters will shortly receive a stinging rebuke via email, including an odd profusion of pastel-colored html links, and references to the Battle of Cowpens during the Revolutionary War, which I gather was intended as an unanswerable “touché!”
That’s the guy! I knew I had a run-in with him before!
pedestrian said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:12
When a group of married couples renew their wedding vows this Sunday as part of an anti-gay marriage event in Rhode Island, they will enjoy a barbecue dinner and an ice cream social, but they won’t be chowing down on Timbits.
The grooms became not-gay when they got married, because gays could not get married. Now that gays can get married, they must marry women again, to prove that their marriages were intentionally heterosexual and not merely heterosexual by default.
If you think that re-not-gay-marrying will stop them from munching Tim’s bits, however, you are adorable.
Michael G. said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:12
That JFK poster is a treat. It’s nice to know that SIGNIFICANT CAPITALIZATION goes way back as a wingnut trademark.
Peter Gabriel said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:12
So where’s this IMPOST(E/O)R OBAMA been keeping the real one? Do we know? Can we free him?
Scott said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:12
Oh my. Mr. Fitzpatrick sounds like the kookoo-est kookoo in kookootown. Can’t imagine why he was ever tossed outta the military…
Hope I’m on his e-mail list — we comic book bloggers just don’t get the really wacko e-mails, except from Hal Jordan fanatics and Dave Sim…
slippytoad said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:13
The thing is, I can sort of imagine what this individual’s living quarters look like. Someone this unhinged is liable to be two or three cats shy of a visit from the local Animal Control folks, or squirreling away scraps of Jack Chick tracts and anything else they pick up in their meanderings in gigantic piles all throughout their house that they have to tunnel through to get from one part of the room to the other. Or they’ll have one of those investigative shrines pinned to a cork board with all their bogus evidence joined together with twine.
And of course, somewhere there’s a gun cabinet with no fuckin’ lock on it at all. And cannisters of that and the other and who knows what else, stocked away for the inevitable conflagratory eruption.
I’m torn between pity and genuine alarm.
Pere Ubu said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:17
People get fanatic about Hal Jordan?
I mean, cripes, that’s like getting fanatic about Dick York. “And ANOTHER thing – he was the best Darrin! You can’t argue with that!”
Ace said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:20
I know this is a bit off of the main focus…but did they really once make TVs where you couldn’t get both audio and video at the same time? What was the point?
Peter Gabriel said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:21
What? Hal Jordan’s awesome. Plus they fucked him up really hard in the 90s, and you know that’s going to cause campaign-level nerdrage.
PeeJ said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:21
Oh puhleeez. NOM would have donuts at their non-gay-marrypallooza. How fucking tacky!
We had beignets at our commitment-day-because-we-can’t-fucking-get-married breakfast but that’s totally not the same thing as greasy donuts at the reception. Which makes me think the real reason they hate the idea of gay marriage is they don’t want to have it slapped in their faces how ridiculously tacky – even white trashy – not-gay-mweddings are.
M. Bouffant said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:23
Hey, for those of us who “grew up” w/ Hal Jordan, he is the real, only … blah blah.
Also grew up w/ Bewitched, but we can never remember which Dick was York & which was the other, or nothin’! So worrying about Darrins (Darrens?) is just dumb! Stop it.
Meanderthal said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:24
“Treasoner”? Is that a word?
Of course! What else would you call someone who runs around, all willy-nilly, treasoning?
Having those qualifications precludes this sort of wingnuttery or the use of the word “sheeple.”
People who, in all seriousness, use the word “sheeple” should immediately be kicked down the nearest flight of stairs. That word is a red flag indicating that whomever says it is utterly beyond the reach of reasonable discourse.
Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:24
Our kind hostess & her paramour about to be cast on the street, newborn in hand or baby sling!
My thoughts exactly. What the hell kind of person does that (especially to a tenant who has been in the place for eleven years)? I should have smelled trouble last year he declared the only person who could help this country was Ron Paul.
And not to be cynical or anything, but do you think moving Landlord Jr. in is legit? Bet you could get a few mos. delay by threatening to have an attorney scream “Baby Discrimination.”
I am choosing to remain agnostic about the whole thing (which is to say: he probably is moving his kid in here, but it also probably has something to do with little Studie). This really isn’t the greatest place to have an infant, for a few reasons, so we’re just going to try to get the hell out of here. Sucks though, because in our (limited, thus far) apartment hunting experience, people aren’t so keen on renting to a couple with a (potentially) squalling newborn (not that little Studie will ever be anything but a little angel). Legality aside, they just don’t call back like they say they’re going to.
So, we’ll continue the hunt, but if anyone has a lead for us, it would be appreciated. And if anyone is willing to move giant boxes of heavy books on moving day in exchange for pizza and beer, we’d love to hear from you. :P
Pere Ubu said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:25
Plus they fucked him up really hard in the 90s
Who DIDN’T get the shaft in comics during those fine years of creativity and innovation we knows as the Ninties?
Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:26
Which makes me think the real reason they hate the idea of gay marriage is they don’t want to have it slapped in their faces how ridiculously tacky – even white trashy – not-gay-mweddings are.
We had four different kinds of meat and three different kinds of fish at our not-gay reception. Is that white-trashy, or just tasty?
M. Bouffant said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:29
Non-gay-marrypallooza!
The Reverend Moonie’s mass weddings come to mind.
And now, I need a bagel for my don’t-fucking-want-to-get-married (therefore I’m having) breakfast (sadly alone). It’s no beignet, but it won’t be greasy till I slap the butter on.
Scott said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:30
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: The best Green Lantern was Kyle Rayner.
The second best was G’nort.
Scott said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:31
Who DIDN’T get the shaft in comics during those fine years of creativity and innovation we knows as the Ninties?
You making a Rob Liefeld joke?
Scott said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:33
(should’ve included a link for those who don’t know of Rob Liefeld, comic’s worst artist.)
Pere Ubu said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:33
The second best was G’nort.
One of my favorites is when he and Kilowog trashed Scott & Barda’s house.
And then were nice enough to rebuild it. With nails from their power rings.
Mind you, anything their rings create disappears 24 hours later…
Pere Ubu said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:35
Rob Liefeld – when your character’s chest and thighs absolutely, positively have to be bigger than their head.
Matt T. said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:36
I like how he capitalizes Obama every time, like the president’s either an SPECTRE-like organization bent on destroying America by placing a guy conservatives are afraid of in the White House, or the JagHunter is playing with some sort of mad-libs program.
Bart said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:38
No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.
Bubba said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:40
Man, is Biden going to be happy!
Unless Biden is on the List- then Pelosi will be delighted!
Of course, surely she must be on the List, so it falls to Robert Byrd!
If he gets arrested, too, then it’s Hillary!
Well, no way she’s not going to be indicted, so then it’s Geithner (this I did not know- he’s FIFTH in line??)
Obviously, he’ll be the first one strung up, so then, finally, a Republican: Gates
Is this the end game they seek?
Froley said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:42
I expect the next step is that these make-believe grand juries will start indicting women for the crime of not fucking patriotic wingnut nice guys.
Scott said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:43
Obviously, he’ll be the first one strung up, so then, finally, a Republican: Gates
Is this the end game they seek?
Gates will select his veep: Sarah Palin! Then Gates will also be indicted.
After that, all of wingnuttia will ejaculate themselves to death.
justme said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:44
Submitted without comment.
Pere Ubu said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:50
I like how he capitalizes Obama every time
Actually – there’s a big thing in “patriot” circles about how names are always capitalized in legal documents and therefore this proves that the person named is a subject of the NWO or some folderol like that there. It’s yet another reason they claim they’re not limited by American law – because any legal document they’re presented with is automatically false, since their name really isn’t spelled all in caps.
urdsama said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:51
Good God, why do I click on the links you provide?
I think in the next post you need to give us a link to a good brain bleach provider.
I mean really, I could have been seriously hurt…
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:52
OT – Boston SadlyFest on Sunday afternoon? Anyone?
I’m there!!!
……..
…….well no, not really. kind of a long hike, and the Jalopy is low on fuel rods. Besides, zombies aren’t really known for being the life of the party. And, you know, it would probably scare away most of the rest of the potential attendees. The threat of brain munchery, you know.
BTW, I don’t know about you commies in Mass, but here in the midwest, landlords can’t send you packing without at least 30 days notice, and sometimes, 60 days, depending on the lease. I would guess you are within your rights to tell him to pound sand.
Of course, then you get into a tussle about security deposits and such.
Like you need that right now. Hopefully some Sadlynaught can help out.
LittlePig said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:56
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: The best Green Lantern was Kyle Rayner.
Word. Kicked yellow’s ass, he did.
Who Put the Schnitzelbonk in Father Murphy’s Cassock,
I knew having that mp3 of Bing Crosby singing “Who Put The Overall’s In Mrs. Murphy’s Chowder?” would be useful someday.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:56
I believe Jag Hunter is Walter Francis Fitzpatrick III
His Long Form Birth Certificate lists his name as Walter Francis FitzPENIS.
People get fanatic about Hal Jordan?
Now, if anyone gets snippy about Hal Foster (ominous ellipses)
LDMM, have you got a lease? Can you sue the landlord’s ass off if he gets any funny ideas?
LittlePig said,
August 10, 2009 at 23:59
(should’ve included a link for those who don’t know of Rob Liefeld, comic’s worst artist.)
Ah, Liefeld explains Muir. Can’t believe I never put the scoliosis twins together before.
Nev Dull said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:04
Been hittin’ the Pynchon hard there, Gav? =D
Don’t forget about Vineland. I know, I always do.
Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:05
BTW, I don’t know about you commies in Mass, but here in the midwest, landlords can’t send you packing without at least 30 days notice, and sometimes, 60 days, depending on the lease. I would guess you are within your rights to tell him to pound sand.
I told the landlord that we wouldn’t be able to be out until 10/1, so that’s somewhere in the 60-day neighborhood. But it sucks, because, while Studie will have definitely joined us by that point, I will be very unlikely to be able to lift anything, making the whole moving experience rather difficult.
BBBB, we didn’t sign a lease this past year. The landlord is generally pretty lax about having us sign one, and usually only did so the year a new person moved in (I’ve been here for ages, so I’d grown pretty complacent about that). So I don’t think that’s a route we can go. Really, this place has some serious issues, and I just want to get out. Finding a new place under the circumstances sucks, though.
And, of course, being a college town, the 10/1 apartments don’t really come up for rent until after landlords give up on the 9/1 student rush, so we’ll go into September with no place solidified, and no idea when I’ll be going into labor, which makes it really hard to plan to find a place.
itwasntme said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:08
Ah, a walk down memory lane…and finding funny house mirrors. The scent of toothless old age is strong in this one!
LittlePig said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:14
Given that Obama is the socialest, it is not that far a stretch to imagine he’s treasoner.
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:15
Holy crap, Marita, that sucks. Your landlord sounds like a prizewinning asshole. Are you only looking in Cambridge?
Scott, those Liefeld drawings are the worst things ever. I bet he’d be a shitty landlord, too.
Peter Gabriel said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:24
That’s true, but they weren’t all suddenly turned into a psychopath who murdered absolutely everyone else in his mythology and then tried to destroy the entire universe and remake it in his image.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:29
That’s true, but they weren’t all suddenly turned into a psychopath who murdered absolutely everyone else in his mythology and then tried to destroy the entire universe and remake it in his image.
Yeah, that’s in the Bible.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:32
Dang, L.D.M.M.
I’d can assure you there are PLENTY of apartments in Columbus, Ohio. But that doesn’t do either of us any good.
C-I-L YOUR LANDLORD!
~
PeeJ said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:34
I last got into comix or cartunes or whetever it is in the early 70′s. Fat Freddy’s cat, y’know? But…I just discovered this totally EPIC …thing.
Also, four meats and three fish is what it takes to beat a full house so there’s nothing in any way wrong about that.
Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:34
Are you only looking in Cambridge?
As much as we would love to stay in Cambridge, it would require a fair bit of luck to find a place in our price range that isn’t a shoebox (this place is, if nothing else, dirt cheap for the location). We’re also looking elsewhere on the Red Line, and commuter-rail type places that are 30 minutes or so by train into North Station (Salem and Beverly are looking appealing right now…). Any thoughts or suggestions?
Mentis Fugit said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:39
The great American tradition:
A kangaroo court…
…and a lynching.
I think you’ve nailed it, Gavin.
pedestrian said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:42
LDMM, I am more familiar with tenant’s rights in Boston than Cambridge, as a good friend works for the Housing Court, but I do know that it is very hard to kick someone out, especially if it would cause them hardship. Hardship can be anything from “it’s winter” to a medical condition (such as having just given birth) to not having the money to move. That is mostly a stalling tactic, as you would probably eventually be forced to leave, but it is possible to draw it out for months and years.
stackozone said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:42
Because everyone knows, from the TV show – natch, that JAG is the most testosterone-heavy branch of the service. For men AND wimmen. Running around in dress uniform, carrying combat binders to and fro – you people just can’t understand!
I guess adding “hunter” makes it manly x infinity squared.
joz said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:44
I like how he capitalizes Obama every time, like the president’s either an SPECTRE-like organization bent on destroying America
Onyx-Black African Murdering Americans!!!
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:50
North Shore is nice, and I think Salem is quite affordable. North Station only? The Waltham and Brandeis stops are within the 30 min range, further out you’re in expensive Weston, Lincoln, Concord territory until you get to West Concord, which is pretty far. I don’t know any of the towns on the Lowell or Haverill lines, I’m more familiar with south and west of Boston. Have you looked in Hyde Park or the Fenway area? Anyway, I’ll send out some feelers.
Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 11, 2009 at 0:56
Thanks, tigrismus! I work in Charlestown, and the employee shuttle leaves from Charles or from North Station, so coming in from the South could add a fair bit to the commute (I know the Red Line from S. Station to Charles doesn’t take that long, but the more legs to the journey, the more chances for delays, y’know?).
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
August 11, 2009 at 1:02
Because everyone knows, from the TV show – natch, that JAG is the most testosterone-heavy branch of the service. For men AND wimmen. Running around in dress uniform, carrying combat binders to and fro – you people just can’t understand!
Nah, the Transportation Corps is teh awesome, didn’t you see the movie Top Truck?
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 1:17
Yeah, having to change trains can be kind of a bear. I think the spoose knows some folks who live in Beverly, I’ll have him ask what they know. Oh, Quincy is on the red line. Hyde Park is on the commuter, but it’s only one stop from the orange line which would take you right to North Station. I know, I’ve already started adding trains on you, awful.
Pere Ubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 1:29
But…I just discovered this totally EPIC …thing.
DAY-UM.
The only way that could have been better is if Jesus was fighting ZOMBIE Nazis.
‘Cause I’m sure even ZRM wouldn’t object to blowing a zombie Nazi’s head off. They’re Nazis!
Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 11, 2009 at 1:29
We’ve e-mailed about some ads in Quincy, but no one has bothered to e-mail us back. Maybe frightened off by Studie.
I looked up the housing law in Mass, and apparently owners who occupy a two-family and rent the other half out (and who don’t use a rental agent) are exempt from having to rent to families or people with disabilities. It’s illegal, though, for them to advertise that they won’t rent to families or people with disabilities. How stupid is that?
Some Guy said,
August 11, 2009 at 1:33
How’s that going to work? Reagan’s dead, what do they think they’re going to arrest?
Oh, Obama. Right, lemme know how that goes, champ.
islmfaoscist said,
August 11, 2009 at 1:33
Also, Hassenpfeff’r Incorporated.
Give us any chance we’ll take it
Read us any rule we’ll break it
We’re going to make our dreams come true
Doing it our way
Nothing’s going to hold us back now
Straight ahead and on the track now
We’re going to make our dreams of a white imperialist reactionary paradise come true-hoo!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 1:35
even ZRM wouldn’t object to blowing a zombie Nazi’s head off. They’re Nazis!
Well, except for the waste of munchies.
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 1:47
That is damn ridiculous. Meh, Salem’s nicer than Quincy anyway, for what it’s worth. Oh, I’ve heard Mission Hill is pretty good, and Savin Hill is supposed to have some fabulous bits.
Joe Max said,
August 11, 2009 at 1:57
Of course. It’s a perfectly cromulent word.
secretlysomeoneelse said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:04
Thanks. I was about to crash for the night and now I have that terrifying thought stuck in my head.
In related news, The Leathery One applies her uh, unique intellect to international affairs and reveals that the current South African government is racist.
USA Freedom Power said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:09
Laugh while you can, liberals. The Forces Of Freedom are coming to save America from the Tyranny of the Usurper and his giveaway of our nation’s heritage to foreigners and minorites who do have not earned freedom the way we have, the True Patriots. Socialism sucks!
USA Freedom Power said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:11
There will be no socialism on our watch! America was established on the capitalist, free-market system, not far left freeloading of the unfit upon the talents of the productive classes! Work hard or don’t eat!
secretlysomeoneelse said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:12
Thanks, don’t mind if I do.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Happy now?
USA Freedom Power said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:12
You liberals think you can use violence to accomplish your traiterous Socialism Medicine goals. We are pro-life here in the midwest! If you even think about using violence, you will get it back tenfold thanks to the 2nd Amendment!
Mr. Wonderful said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:12
Null Dev hit it. Just write the novel already, Gav.
LDM Marita: If, by “Boston area,” you mean the San Fernando Valley adjacent to LA, come on out. You can have my daughter’s room and disport with our three–no, wait, there’s the foster–four dogs. We’ll MAKE it work. Pool and drum room incl.!
USA Freedom Power said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:12
Shut up you stupid liberal.
Mr. Wonderful said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:13
Now sneeze while you can, liberals.
USA Freedom Power said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:13
Shut up, all you liberals. You yousurped power iligitimely, now you will pay in Another Revolution Of Freedom.
secretlysomeoneelse said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:15
I know I shouldn’t feed the troll, but…
Andy French said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:15
“Oh, I’ve heard Mission Hill is pretty good.”
It’s better than that when you’re the Bagerbeiger!
Obama's Secret Police said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:18
snicker
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:21
Oh no, don’t kill me Mr. Pro-Life Man! I’ll shut up, FOR FREEDOM!
Candy said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:25
Silly tigrismus, you’re not a fetus; therefore, Mr. Pro-Life Man can kill you without a qualm. Because SUTW.
M. Bouffant said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:28
Ii’s OK to feed the parody trolls, just don’t over-feed them.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:31
Shut up, all you liberals. You yousurped power iligitimely, now you will pay in Another Revolution Of Freedom.
*clicking heels*
BEEGSHMILE, Mine Furor! BEEGSHMILE!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:35
And not to be cynical or anything, but do you think moving Landlord Jr. in is legit?
Can’t speak for Cambridge, but in NYC, not only is it legit, it happens frequently.
LDMM, you can delay by filing grievances with the housing commission or whatever passes for that at Cambrige town hall, but it’s a delaying tactic at best. That said, you can probably get ninety days stay automatically.
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:35
Candy, I am too, I’m just in the 158th trimester.
Euripides said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:36
O/T but a mavericky poem about socialised health care;
Maveric
Maveric Prowles
Had Rumbling Bowles
That thundered in the night.
It shook the bedrooms all around
And gave the folks a fright.
The doctor called;
He was appalled
When through his stethoscope
He heard the sound of a baying hound,
And the acrid smell of smoke.
Was there a cure?
‘The higher the fewer’
The learned doctor said,
Then turned poor Maveric inside out
And stood him on his head.
‘Just as I thought
You’ve been and caught
An Asiatic flu -
You musn’t go near dogs I fear
Unless they come near you.’
Poor Maveric cried.
He went cross-eyed,
His legs went green and blue.
The doctor hit him with a club
And charged him one and two.
And so my friend
This is the end,
A warning to the few:
Stay clear of doctors to the end
Or they’ll get rid of you.
Spike Milligan
justme said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:39
Okay, the Jesus-having-explosive-diarrhea-all-up-in-Hitler’s-face is absolutely awe inspiring.
LDMM,
I hear Belchertown is lovely this time of year.
I kid, I kid.
justme said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:42
Of course. if we’re talking about ZRM here, it would be “youslurped.”
Table manners and zombies ain’t exactly peanut butter and chocolate.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:43
I’m just in the 158th trimester.
*carry the one and…*
I didn;t think anyone on this godforsaken board was older than me!
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:44
USA Freedom Power is the only troll who consistently, literally makes me laugh out loud. I hope Palin/Bachmann ’12 hasn’t already selected a campaign manager.
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:47
I hear Belchertown is lovely this time of year.
Near the Quabbin, it probably is quite nice UNTIL EVERYONE DRINKING FROM THE WELL GOES CRAZY AND DIES BECAUSE OF THE WEIRDLY COLOURED METEORITE THAT FELL IN IT.
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:50
It’s possible I did the math wrong, actor: I’m so old I forget how to do stuff properly.
Some Guy said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:50
What’s up with the trolls and sounding like 80′s Saturday morning cartoon villans making a “I’ll get you next time, Protagonists!” speech?
Mr. Wonderful said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:51
I left a sensitive, witty comment at Jag Hunter’s site, but it requires blog owner’s approval. Do you think I’ll make the grade? If not then it’s censorship, fascism, tyranny, etc., and I’ll have to buy guns and ammo and lead a new uprising for freedom or, as I call it, Freedom.
Crissa said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:55
There’s laws against evicting pregnant people, tho.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:55
It only counts if it’s Socialest Fascism.
Honus said,
August 11, 2009 at 2:59
you know, Fred Waring also invented that blender, too. No kidding. And helped cure polio:
“The Waring Blendor became an important tool in hospitals for the implementation of specific diets, as well as a vital scientific research device. Dr. Jonas Salk used it while developing the vaccine for polio. In 1954, the millionth Waring Blendor was sold, and it is still popular today”
Jonas Salk said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:01
She put me through some changes, Lord, sorta like a Waring Blender.
El Cid said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:05
Remember, you don’t have to pay your income taxes ’cause some dude that you heard on the radio that one time said that the Constitutional amendment allowing it wasn’t ratified in the right way, so, you’re all free from that burden now.
Wesley Snipes said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:10
Awesome!
PeeJ said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:13
No, Pam, that’s Bill Kristol. John Bolton is the one with the ridiculous moustachios.
g said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:17
Here it is! (The “Kenyan” Birth Certificate) Of course it will have to be authenicated but it looks like the real thing.
What? He hasn’t submitted it to the kerning test?
M. Bouffant said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:25
And not to be cynical or anything, but do you think moving Landlord Jr. in is legit?
Can’t speak for Cambridge, but in NYC, not only is it legit, it happens frequently.
It’s legally allowable as a reason to evict someone, but it can also be used as subterfuge to evict people who are having children or whom the landlord wants to bum rush in general but can’t do legally, is why I was asking. If our hosts said, “Hi, landlord prick bastard, we’re knocked up” & his immediate (or next day, or very soon) response was “Get out, I’m moving my spawn in!” there might be something going on. Especially if the Lord lives in the other half of the duplex, as I think LDMM said.
And actor, I’ve been 18 (Neither boy nor man!!!) since September 1971, so I think I’ve got you beat. (I’m pretty sure one semi-regular has identified himself as 60 or a bit over — can’t remember who, though — & missed mikey certainly has a couple yrs. on me.)
Michael G. said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:28
If USAFreedom Power makes you laugh, what about the Cool Coach? Although, I’m not convinced he’s not a parody or a bot. It’s a little too perfect.
creature said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:33
Netty Wisbaum? The Jamaican-Jew Reggae guy? No, kidding, he’s a wacko? Too much ganja, mon, not enough fresh air.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:34
Eh, the Cool Coach doesn’t vary his wording enough for me to get much of a kick out of him. Not every time, at least. But for some reason it really makes me laugh that we so casually refer to him as “the Cool Coach”, rather than his full handle. I can’t put my finger on why.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:35
How many millions of illegals are going to sign up for a “public option” trojan horse? How much will this cost native citizens and legal immigrants? How do we stop millions coming up from the Latin American cesspool not even to work, but just to suck off the federal largess by getting healthcare?
BTW how many of the Limousine Liberals on here live in immigrant neighborhoods? Do you send your kids to schools filled with illegals?
The Sadly, No Drinking Game said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:37
Every time Troofus refers to a “trojan horse”, take a shot.
Do a chaser if he starts ranting about brown people in the same breath.
Troofus said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:38
I define “legal immigrants” as “white immigrants”, natch.
Djur said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:40
ittdgy, a friend of mine’s mother was not only at that show but is visible in the front row of that clip. It was apparently as great a show as it looks.
Substance McGravitas said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:41
Coach Urban Meyer is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.
Bitter Scribe said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:44
“What if Screech from Saved By the Bell or Spongebob’s friend Patrick just arbitrarily decided they were the federal government? Would you accept their authority?”
No, but if Jessie from Saved by the Bell demanded authority, I might consider it. Especially if she wore a spandex bustier.
Substance McGravitas said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:46
ALERT!! MUST CREDIT JOHN J. MILLER!! G.I.JOE: IMPLAUSIBLE
Substance McGravitas said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:46
FYWP even more.
Bitter Scribe said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:48
they hate the idea of gay marriage is they don’t want to have it slapped in their faces how ridiculously tacky – even white trashy – not-gay-mweddings are.
We will become free and equal on the day that gays are allowed to have tacky weddings.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:54
If our healthvcare is so bad, why does everyone from around the world come here for treatment?
H. Fiste said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:57
Unless you count all those times he sold dope dressed as a nun
Talking Points Troll said,
August 11, 2009 at 3:57
I haz talking points.
St. zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:02
BTW how many of the Limousine Liberals on here live in immigrant neighborhoods? Do you send your kids to schools filled with illegals?
I live in what Atrios refers to as an “Urban Hellhole”. Our son goes to a minority-majority school, and will be starting at one of hte best high schools in the State in a couple of weeks, a school that is also largely dark-hued. Oh, and by the way, he’s been attending school with Hispanic kids in multilingual schools since he was four, and is now fluent in Spanish. We don’t call them ‘illegals’. They’re people, just like us, and even like you.
well, maybe not so much like you. You see, we aren’t scared of people who don’t look exactly like us, or who speak differently. It must make your life hell to be like that.
You shitstain. Go and change your armor.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:03
I haz talking points.
took them a couple of weeks to get them out to the troops though, didn’t it?
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:03
Answer the goddamn question. Why do they come here for treatment.
What’s more, why sont you move to Canada or Europe if its soooo great there?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:04
You know, sometimes I wonder about Substance McGravitas.
Bitter Scribe said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:04
Unless you count all those times he sold dope dressed as a nun.
What was dressed as a nun, the coach or the dope?
St. Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:06
I don’t see a question, because I don’t see a question mark, dicktard.
And I’ve thought long and hard about why I sont move to Canada or Europe, and I sont really know.
Irrational Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:08
After every1one comes to US for healthcares they don’t leave because THEY LOVE IT THAT’S WHY NOW SHUT UP!
olexicon said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:08
Yes..Please move to Canada…we have socilaized healthcare and we have a right wing governmentb that has to love socialized Medicine or they would be out on their white asses
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:09
Zombie Rotten, the “best high school” is probably filled with wealthy whites, east Indians, and Asians with a few token AA blacks, isn’t it?
olexicon said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:10
Token “blacks” who are in alcoholics anoymous?
I Got Nothing said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:11
I’ve never commented here before but I just had to say – that was brilliant! I could “hear” Grandpa Simpson’s voice in my head for the whole first part of that post.
Thank you.
St. Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:11
@olexicon: That would explain how Troofie recognizes them.
olexicon said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:12
Ah…you are correct sir
kingubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:13
Nakedly racist troll is nakedly racist.
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:15
You know, sometimes I wonder about Substance McGravitas.
Sometimes?
Hey, Troll, we won the election, the majority wants healthcare reform, the majority even wants a public option for poorer folks, the majority wants what we want and not what you in the loud minority want and if you don’t like it why don’t YOU move?
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:15
AA stands for Affirmative Action. I don’t drink unlike you immature losers who spend all day stoned in their Mom’s basement or government largess because they’re too lazy/incompetent to look for a job. From Mommy’s tit to the government dole–that’s liberals.
Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:16
Nakedly racist troll is nakedly racist.
Ewwww! Put some clothes on, racist troll!
Thanks to everyone who has voiced their support. Mr. Wonderful, we may take you up on your offer at some point, but… can we get another dog?
St. Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:16
I do not spend all day stoned in my mom’s government largess. I demand an apology.
St. Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:17
I don’t drink unlike you immature losers who spend all day stoned in their Mom’s basement or government largess because they’re too lazy/incompetent to look for a job
Drinking gets you stoned? Oh, I’ve been doing something wrong.
Troofie's Superiors at the *snicker* CIA said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:17
It’s true… he’s no good to us drunk.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:18
We conservatives are using the checks and balances in our great Constitution to block the Tyranny of the Majority. If you want Parliaments where the ruling party can ram through anything they want, move to Canada or Europe. You must REALLY hate the fact we have a Senate with equal representation for the heartland!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:19
Zombie Rotten, the “best high school” is probably filled with wealthy whites, east Indians, and Asians with a few token AA blacks, isn’t it?
BZZZZT. Wrong. Send your fine in to Sadly No immediately.
El Cid said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:20
The problem with the American political system is that when Republicans lose a bunch of elections they’re not allowed to decide everything anymore. This has to change. I WANTS MAH COUNTRY BACK!!!
Troll Handbook said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:20
Remember, it’s easy to derive some measure of small, dick-tingling satisfaction if you decide what pisses off liberals, and to hell with whether or not it actually does.
Michael G. said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:24
Well, it’s just that the Coach’s initials — cum — suggest that he’s a joke. Just like Rugged’s initials — RIM — suggest the parody there too.
H. Fiste said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:25
We conservatives are using the checks and balances in our great Constitution to block the Tyranny of the Majority.
Word of advice?
Screaming “OOGA BOOGA” all by itself isn’t going to get teh Cargo here any faster.
Just sayin’,…
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:26
I can barely remember the Rugged that WASN’T overt parody. Wasn’t he kind of a bargain-bin Gary? And possibly just a Gary sockpuppet?
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:26
Yeah, the “lie through your teeth” check and the “shout down your opposition” balance. And “tyranny of the majority” my ass; you’re not being oppressed by some poor kid getting an 80$ tooth extraction instead of dying in an emergency room after tens of thousands of dollars of treatment.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:26
what do the initials ZRM suggest?
owlbear1 said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:27
heh
El Cid said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:28
The defenses against the “tyranny of the majority” to be found in the Constitution consist of the separation of powers and the legislature’s composition itself.
It’s not the “tyranny of the majority” when you has more Congress pepulz vote. That’s just called a majority.
kingubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:31
Hey Troofie? BUSTED
Honestly, getting paid to spout the daily talking points is the only thing that explains why he keeps offering himself up as a rhetorical pinata day after day, month after month.
So, Troofie, do they set you up with Cobag Training, too, or is that just your little way of going the extra mile?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:31
…when you has more Congress pepulz vote. That’s just called a majority.
Which is why they’ve come to rely on the mere threat of a filibuster to effectively conjure a supermajority requirement where none exists.
do you think if Schumer gets the ML position, he’ll actually make them stand there and, you know, filibuster? Rather than just threaten a hissy fit, like the drama queens they are?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:33
wow, that’s a find, kingubu. Nice work.
Does explain a lot, doesn’t it? Don’t think they’re getting their money’s worth around here though.
El Cid said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:34
It is an error to attribute to cowardice or weakness what is more sensibly interpreted as unwillingness, or agreement with the opposition’s goals.
Michael G. said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:34
what do the initials ZRM suggest?
That you’re a pardoy zombie! There, I said it! You’re a fake! Fake zombie everyone!
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:36
Late to the party (the CDs of Battlestar Gallactica 4.5 just arrived) but…
Details emerging suggest that military commanders are refusing to obey OBAMA’s orders recognizing OBAMA as a TREASONOUS foreign born domestic enemy.
Exactly what commands has
ADAMAOBAMA given that are so different from his predecessor? He’s ramping down one war and ramping up the other. Or did I somehow miss the tanks as I walked through Herald Square this morning?Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:37
Guess what? You DON’T have the votes in the Senate!
You start with 60. Take away Robert ” KKK” Byrd who can’t stop drooling long enough to vote, and Ted “Chappaquiddick” Kennedy who is sick and won’t vote, and you have 58. Subtract the Blue Dogs, you have even less. Suck it, libs.
Illiterate KY said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:37
40 is more than 58, suck it libs!
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:38
what do the initials ZRM suggest?
Zylophone reams me.
Mr. Wonderful said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:39
Marita–
In all seriousnessness, it turns out my wife’s former college roommate and her husband have real estate in Boston. (she went to BU.) What are you looking for? In what area? Maybe for efficiency’s sake, write me here:
[later redacted -teh mgnmt't]
Tyrannosaurus Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:39
RAAAAARRR!
JESUS RODE ME!
WITH A SADDLE!
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:41
You need 60 to pass the Senate,
And you can’t use budget reconciliation. Kent Conrad sais that would leave the bill looking like “swiss cheese”.
Suck it!
Tyrannosaurus Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:43
RAAAAAAARRR!!
NUKULAR OPTION!!!
HARRY REID IS A WUSS!
Mr. Wonderful said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:43
“unlike you immature losers ”
This, as I have made it clear previously, is my favorite. Wing-gnuttz love to invoke “immature” because they–I know everyone knows this, but still–are profoundly insecure about their own “maturity.”
Call it sexual, call it existential, call it “Steve,” wherever there’s a post-teen “conservative” calling anyone “immature” you know you’re dealing with a not-quite-smart, insecure putz who cleaves to Daddy (= the authority) for his (it’s always his, yes) sense of masculinity, adulthood, and okay-ness.
kingubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:44
wow, that’s a find, kingubu. Nice work.
All credit goes to Shannyn Moore, Alaska radio DJ and slayer of Sarah The Stupid.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:44
It is an error to attribute to cowardice or weakness what is more sensibly interpreted as unwillingness, or agreement with the opposition’s goals.
well, exactly. they were speculating over at Hullaballoo that Schumer might be getting lined up to replace Reid.
I don’t know much about Schumer, but I didn’t know much about Reid either, and how much worse could he be?
And one thing I DO remember from my Public School Civics classes that apparently was never taught at Troofy’s, is that the Senate only requires a majority of votes to pass legislation, not a supermajority. The tactic of using the threat of a filibuster is a recent invention of disgruntled Republican twits in response to being summarily tossed from power. But hey, if it has to happen, more Right wingers can be booted from office.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:44
Zylophone reams me.
no wonder they kicked you out of Band Camp.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:45
Wing-gnuttz love to invoke “immature” because they–I know everyone knows this, but still–are profoundly insecure about their own “maturity.”
Bingo. Cf. their calling everyone fags.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:45
Bwahahahaha!! Harry Reid? The nuclear option? Ahahahahahaaa!
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:47
Hahahaha! Ha? Hahaha? Ahahahahahaaa!
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:47
And now you’re cheering that 40 people can perhaps thwart the will of 3/4 of the population, including their own constituents, for the benefit of the corporations that line their pockets? Why, that’s downright unAmerican. You should move to a corrupt oligarchic state, since you love that more than you love freedom, justice, or sucking your mom’s dick.
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:48
Zylophone reams me.
no wonder they kicked you out of Band Camp.
When I was about 12, I spent several days working out the “Meow Mix” jingle on the piano in the living room. For you youngsters, imagine a cat singing “Meow meow meow meow / Meow meow meow meow / Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.” Since then, no one has asked me to attempt to produce music.
Tyrannosaurus Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:50
RAAAARRR!
I HAVE A UNDERDEVELOPED WALNUT-SIZED BRAIN!
I THINK CEO’S DESERVE MORE MONEY!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:51
N__B, YOU are going to produce my next album.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:51
You got to block Bushs judicial appointments and Social Security reform, so FUCK. YOU.
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:52
N__B, YOU are going to produce my next album.
Okay. Who’s supplying the drugs?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:52
wow.
Bitter much?
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:53
You blocked Bush’s judicial appointments and Social Security reform. So FUCK YOU!
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:53
Bitter much?
It’s not that he’s bitter about the past. All trolls taste that way.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:54
Okay. Who’s supplying the drugs?
Substance McGravitas.
It’s right there in his name.
He will also bring some gravitas. Although we probably won’t need as much of that.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:54
For you youngsters, imagine a cat singing “Meow meow meow meow / Meow meow meow meow / Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.”
My fourth grade class was about that song. We all sang it together once when the teacher was out of the room. Everybody knew the words!
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:55
He will also bring some gravitas. Although we probably won’t need as much of that.
Zombie music being grave already…
St. Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:55
Here’s the thing, Troofie: you don’t automatically get to veto Obama’s bills just because we blocked the smirking cokehead’s attempt to kill old people. It’s not a quid pro quo thing, it’s a case-by-case basis. So, uh, FUCK YOU. BACK. ALSO.
Every Congressional Democrat said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:56
You’re an unemployed, narcissistic, misogynistic, racist troll, SO FUCK YOU!
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:57
My fourth grade class was about that song.
I’m trying to remember what 4th grade was about. Besides open warfare in the schoolyard.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:59
Not about it, about it.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 4:59
But we are blocking them. Senate liberals like Dick Durban are running scared already.
M. Bouffant said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:01
Limousine Liberals on here live in immigrant neighborhoods?
Moi, bitch. Right in Los Angeles, miscegenation cesspool of the nation.
90+% people from Mexico & C. A., Koreans, Bangla Deshis, Afro & Euro-Americans. Been here four mos., not one problem, neighbors in bldg. hold jobs (& doors) go to school, church, wear clothes, bathe & everything, just like Real Heartland Americans. Unlike you, they are too busy leading their lives to waste their time trying to annoy other people.
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:01
Not about it, about it.
Posting, you are. Understanding, I am not.
Tyrannosaurus Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:01
RAAAAARRR!!!!
BOOKMARK IT, LIBS!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:02
I’m trying to remember what 4th grade was about. Besides open warfare in the schoolyard.
Ahh… suburban school district?
I mostly tried to stay in art class.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:04
Posting, you are. Understanding, I am not.
Just one of those idiom things – using “about” to mean “enthusiastic about” or even “obsessed with”.
Obama Commander said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:04
Cursssssssssssssse you, Durbin!* Everything you do, you do at Troofie’s requessssssst!
*This being how his name is actually spelled.
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:04
suburban school district?
Queens. Urban, mix of apartments and houses. A lot of immigrants, a lot of different complexions. Troofus would call it an inner-city hell-hole.
Oedipus Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:05
Mommy?
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:05
Just one of those idiom things – using “about” to mean “enthusiastic about” or even “obsessed with”.
Must be a heartland thing. Here in America’s Pituitary, I never heard it.
kingubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:07
I mostly tried to stay in art class.
A portfolio crammed full of tastefully arranged brain still-lifes, I’m guessing?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:10
Good grief.
Shouldn’t the troll need post something amusing in order to get a reward?
Shame on you forkers.
~
M. Bouffant said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:14
4Q!
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:17
Social Security “reform”, unlike healthcare, wasn’t popular with a majority. And if you want to talk about blocked nominations, I want percentages and comparisons to past presidents, because I happen to know that you are full of shit. Actually, you know, I don’t care if you post any follow-ups or what you would call “evidence”, anything you say will be lies or stupid, or more probably both. I’m glad you finally got a job, even if it’s a moronic, soul-killing one. Best wishes.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:22
A portfolio crammed full of tastefully arranged brain still-lifes, I’m guessing?
hey, it kept me out of the Army.
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:22
Well done, tig.
Troofie’s kinda phoning it in tonight, tho. If it’s doing this for pay, we should call its boss and say it’s slacking.
Nom de Plume said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:23
The world is painfully stupid.
I just thought I’d throw that out there.
justme said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:26
Oh, that poor cat.
Substance McGravitas said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:32
Meet Rimwell.
justme said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:32
Anybody care to venture a guess as to the number of US Attorneys and Federal Judges confirmed in the Senate since Obama took office? Other than Sotomayor, obviously.
Last I heard it was the big donut. Not to mention how many other Cabinet appointees are being held up by Republican Senators simply being cocksnorklers. For instance, say, the Secretary of the Army. Not that that’s important when you have a couple of wars to fight, or anything.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:33
Oh, that poor cat.
I dunno, it’s a living. Not every TV cat can be Morris.
justme said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:50
I meant the one in the living room.
iben Hakenluggis said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:56
Writing about this shit makes you as fucking crazy as they are methinks …
Mentis Fugit said,
August 11, 2009 at 6:10
N__B said,
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
“Brains brains brains brains / Brains brains brains brains / Brains brains brains brains brains brains brains brains.”
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
August 11, 2009 at 6:18
Fuckstain screeches:
Yes, as a matter of fact I do, you fucking moron. “Equal” representation for the “Heartland” is it? I assume by the “heartland” you mean the 2/3 of the states with 1/3 of the population who get fucking double their fair share of representation in the senate? And then we have to get 60% of those fucking knuckle-draggers to get anything through? You’re fucking right I hate it! Fuck the “heartland” and fuck you sideways with a chainsaw, you goddamn shit-eating worthless piece of shit! And the fucking Senate has to go!
g said,
August 11, 2009 at 6:18
Just flew back into LA from North Carolina…..and boy are my arms tired.
So, did the American Grand Juries arrest Obama, yet? Or are they still watching “American Idol” on Tivo?
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
August 11, 2009 at 6:23
And you had to mention the 6SL7? The vertical oscillator/amplifier in our old Admiral the first TV we ever had that actually worked, was a 6SL7. It would last about a week. We bought them like eggs, by the dozen.
But you know, in the 47 years since we got rid of that thing I’ve never seen a black-and-white picture that equaled it.
edub said,
August 11, 2009 at 6:40
iben Hakenluggis said,
August 11, 2009 at 5:56
Writing about this shit makes you as fucking crazy as they are methinks …
That sounds accurate.
I call Liberal Conspiracy. It makes all kinda sense.
Joe Max said,
August 11, 2009 at 7:07
I live in Oakland. Where the weak and killed and eaten.
My neighborhood is about 30% Black, 30% Asian, 20% Hispanic and 20% Caucasian. Within a couple miles the flatlands begin, which are 70% Black. Except past E.14th to the south, where it’s 80% Hispanic.
My daughter goes to an Oakland public school, where she gets straight-As.
I like it here.
Hoosier X said,
August 11, 2009 at 8:27
So I was trying to explain to a conservative acquaintance that people aren’t traitors just because they disagree with you …
… TRYING being the operative word …
justme said,
August 11, 2009 at 8:30
Oh, and just in case there’s somebody who hasn’t chuckled at this yet,
Wingnut IBD sez
Sadly, no.
seldom-seen smith said,
August 11, 2009 at 9:04
To distinguish him from Suburban Meyer, his not quite so cool brother. Get ready for a SPREAD of LAWN CARE ADVICE, loony libs! Ding dong dilly &c.
M. Bouffant said,
August 11, 2009 at 10:24
I’d really rather hear from the Poopin’ Pope, Urban.
Doctorb said,
August 11, 2009 at 10:31
Gavin writes like Thelonious Monk. It’s just so close to being the crazy person in a tweed sportcoat with no elbows word salad, and yet if you pay attention it all makes sense, maybe too much sense.
Just Alison said,
August 11, 2009 at 10:32
Zombie Rights Management.
Lesley said,
August 11, 2009 at 10:32
So when the 90 days is up and Obama is still the President, will Jag quietly drag his blog back under the rock it crawled from?
secretlysomeoneelse said,
August 11, 2009 at 11:15
Sheesh said,
August 11, 2009 at 11:28
More genius.
This thread is full of great stuff that I wanted to comment on, but I’m way late so I’ll just driveby: Tying in Hal Jordan and the scariness of treasoner Obama, the 90s weren’t too bad for John Stewart *wink wink*, a favorite of mine. JA’s mention of zombie rights management is pretty win. Also in conclusion: Chex Mix Rocks.
“you haven’t answered my question!!~!”, i.e., address my post, libs!
Just Alison said,
August 11, 2009 at 13:20
Hey, FYWP! Where’d my comment go?
El Cid said,
August 11, 2009 at 13:56
Obama will have no choice — these patriots will threaten to release the ‘whitey’ tape and the new original birth certificate.
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 14:01
Zombie Rights Management.
That has to be a Microsoft product.
Scott said,
August 11, 2009 at 14:46
Zombie Rights Management.
That has to be a Microsoft product.
As long as we’re talking about zombies and programming, this book has my very enthusiastic endorsement.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 14:53
We conservatives are using the checks
To pay for healthcare for the poor.
How white of you.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 14:53
#
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 14:01 (kill)
Zombie Rights Management.
That has to be a Microsoft product.
why do you think we eat brains?
Microsoft products make you cranky
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:04
Very Reverend:
see, here’s the thing.
I LIVE in the fuckin heartland. Actually kind of like it here. But that representation that fuckstain talks about is, for the most part, hardly representative of my opinions and attitudes (for example, see my comment about where we live up above)
But you know what? We don’t threaten violence every time one of our elected officials does something we disagree with. We let him/her know, we work to elect people who we feel would make better decisions, and make other small changes to improve things, as we are able. Hell, I had to live for a LONG time with Tommy fuckin THOMPSON as gov.
You know, kind of like a civilized democracy.
These choadnuggets can’t get past the idea that other people disagree with them, and are now threatening violent insurrection… umm, WHY, exactly? Because somebody who didn’t have health coverage before MIGHT receive it? Or because their corporate masters demand it?
And Astrotroll comes by here, unable to express his worldview except in terms of hatred and how angry he must make us. Our current right wing is trafficking solely in ugliness and hate.
Republicanism. For when you really don’t want to think about things, and just want to hate somebody.
Scott said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:14
What the Zombie said.
The “Heartland” is often very conservative, sure, but more than that, people in the Midwest are really amazingly polite. The people who show up and scream at town meetings are outside agitators, because a real Midwesterner would never do that. It’s impolite and disrespectful, and it would lead to you getting shunned by people who don’t want to be associated with incivility.
Go back to those town meetings now and try to find the people who were screaming before. They’re not there. They’ve moved on to the next town meeting.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:31
These choadnuggets can’t get past the idea that other people disagree with them, and are now threatening violent insurrection… umm, WHY, exactly?
because if agreeable folks like Heartlanders can be
bribedmoved to take violent action against a program, then that would demonstrate the deep anger thewhite populationheartlanders have against thehouse negroPresident’s policies and programs.actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:32
Go back to those town meetings now and try to find the people who were screaming before. They’re not there. They’ve moved on to the next town meeting.
Funny how no one wore Brooks Brothers clothing in Palm Beach County Florida after the SCOTUS handed down it’s decision in Bush v Gore…
Torture is Un-American said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:45
The six stages of a Gavin post:
1. Delight in the brilliant word play.
2. Read the comments, plenty of chuckles.
3. Scratch your head at the trolls; can anyone really be that dumb/racist/bigoted?
4. Check the link, OMG, they really are that dumb/racist/bigoted.
5. Leave with a sickly feeling that we are trapped in the asylum with the lunatics.
6. Rinse/repeat.
Spike Milligan's uncle said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:45
What the hell kind of person does that (especially to a tenant who has been in the place for eleven years)?
It is time you learned to shoot, nephew, for there are many wicked landlords in the world.
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:50
Stephen Hawking wouldn’t have a chance in the U.K.
Could irony come in any more concentrated form? This is like crack irony.
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:51
Zombie Rights Management.
Holy fuck, and I clicked “agree” without reading the whole thing…
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:54
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge, why do you hate the Constitution?
You can always move to Europe or Canada, you know!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:55
Holy fuck, and I clicked “agree” without reading the whole thing…
Seven generations of first born male children…sad.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:56
Poor Troofie….poor poor Troofie.
He has NO idea what’s about to ride down on top of him…
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:56
A portfolio crammed full of tastefully arranged brain still-lifes, I’m guessing?
Here you go then. You can’t expect me to turn down an opportunity like that.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 15:59
So, how will illegals be stopped from using the “public option?”
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:01
Why don’t you move to Canada or Europe actor if you love them so much?
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:01
Don’t forget, if it wasn’t for the USA your ancestors would have been killed in the Czar’s pogroms or one of Hitler’s ovens, so show some gratitude.
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:04
you know, Fred Waring also invented that blender, too.
Can’t make your brain slurpee without one.
grouchygardens said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:08
Something was bothering me about these town halls and this is it.
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:08
Seven generations of first born male children…sad.
Oh, is that all? Hee hee, I skunked them, then!
Not Looch who has way too much time on his hands these days said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:12
I really have to wonder if Trolly McNutgargle is the owner of one of the sites that the management mocks every now and then. What if T.M. is actually both a basement dwelling Cheeto magnet and a published Wingnut of some (probably very insignificant) stature? For some reason I find that possibility more hilarious than the idea that he is merely a basement-ridden pimple farm. But that’s just me.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:17
if it wasn’t for the USA your ancestors would have been killed in the Czar’s pogroms or one of Hitler’s ovens
Errrrrrrrrr, not so much there Troofie. But as with so many things, you have no clue what you are talking about.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:18
Dangit, Smut, now I’m hungry.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:19
Dangit, Smut, now I’m hungry.
Well, who told you you had to go to the barbecue????
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:21
So, how will illegals be stopped from using the “public option?”
They won’t.
And they’ll save us money, too.
See, right now, those same “illegals” are using hospital ERs because they know they cannot be refused medical attention.
That’s billed directly to you in the form of higher insurance premiums and yes, higher taxes.
Now, those costs will actually come down.
Why do you hate the American taxpayer so, Troofie?
Smut Clyde said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:25
Dangit, Smut, now I’m hungry.
Hee hee, zombie pr0n.
Time to drag myself away from the pub with its WiFi and its choice of real ales on tap, and get back to art galleries.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:25
We could save a lot more money by building a border fence and throwing employer that employ illegals in fucking jail, then deporting the parasites. I don’t want MY MONEY funding their healthcare, and I sure as hell don’t want their amigos making day trips to the USA to get free federal largess.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:26
I wonder exactly how much of our health care costs spiraling out of control are caused by illegals and “diversity”? Mark Steyn seems to think this is the root of the problem, and I’m inclined to agree.
“Diversity” is death.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:28
“Diversity” is death.
By all means, kill yourself and rehomogenize the country.
Buhbye!
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:29
Why don’t you move to Canada, actor? Go to a country that is already Socialist rather than Socializing this one.
Scott said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:30
I’ve got a theory (it could be bunnies) that the town screaming halls are going to end up hurting the GOP more than helping, actually. The most prominent message that I think most people will get from the town halls isn’t “Wow, we shouldn’t pass health care legislation” but “Wow, the Republicans are completely fucking crazy, aren’t they? The Democrats aren’t completely fucking crazy, are they? Maybe we should go to their next meeting…”
And the violence-advocates in the GOP aren’t really thinking about how people are really going to react to that, are they? McVeigh blowing up the Murrah Building didn’t lead to the militia groups becoming acclaimed, it lead to everyone hating them. A gunman at a town hall is going to (1) scare off every non-lunatic Republican out there and (2) make sure every town hall has an extremely heavy police presence that will throw screaming out-of-towners into the clink, just to enforce civility.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:35
Scott, independents are going to see those town halls when the media reports on them. Independents like to be with the “winning” side, and when they see the media coverage they will be convinced the Democrat Party plan is unpopular and full of problems, and want to join the right-wing because it is WINNING the debate! Bandwagon effect.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:36
Why don’t you move to Canada, actor?
I don’t do cold. You, on the other hand, seem to be colder than the climate there. You move.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:37
Scott,
My sentiments exactly
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:37
You can move to France then. Southern France, where its warm. And a Socialist country. Why not?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:38
Troofie, I will if you move to Indonesia, where they can cane you for smoking a cigarette.
Sounds like you’re kind of fascism.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:39
Wow, Troofie! You’re very belligerent today! Almost as belligerent as the day JOHN MCCAIN LOST TO THE SCARY BLACK MAN!
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:40
Liberals want to outlaw smoking and impose other nanny stater laws, not conservatives.
So why not move to France, Actor? You can have your precious Socialism there.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:40
Liberals want to outlaw smoking and impose other nanny stater laws, not conservatives.
You mean like banning abortions?
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:41
Abortion is murder, period.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:42
So is smoking. Cigarettes are the only product that when used as directed kill you and your family.
So like I said, who’s the nanny stater now?
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:44
Second hand smoke causing health problems is a nanny stater myth, much like man-made global warming (or is it “climate change” now, so when we have a record cold year you can’t be called out on your bullshit?)
Scott said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:45
Troofie should get out of the basement and meet some normal people. Going to a public meeting to shriek abuse at people won’t get you anything but a faceful of asphalt when the local cops throw yer ass out. It won’t make people love you. It’ll make people think you’re dangerously unstable. They won’t think of you as a winner. They’ll think of you as a lunatic.
Steerpike said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:45
Hey Timmy Trollmeyer, just out of curio: Do you ever visit websites or blogs that agree with you? I know there are lots of them out there, I just wonder which ones you like.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:46
Scott, my suspicion is the right wingers have all been told today to keep it polite, that the second the average American sees how crazy they really are, we might as well push a single-payer only bill thru Congress, because Obama will be given a blank check.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:47
Abortion is murder
if so, it’s murder that is supported by a majority of your fellow countrymen.
Unlike the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.
Why do you hate Americans? Why don’t you move – out of your mom’s basement?
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:48
Hey Steercunt, until you call me “The Truth” (or “The Authentic”) if you prefer, I’m not going to answer your silly questions.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:48
Why don’t you move – out of your mom’s basement?
Talk about socialism: no job, no rent, free food…all the sex he wants…
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:49
War is not murder, abortion is.
Have you libs ever seen an abortion? I mean besides every time you all look in the mirror.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:49
Have you libs ever seen an abortion?
One walks in here nearly everyday, named The Truth.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:49
I am not in my “mom’s basement”, but I see a lot of libs are since they keep accusing me of it.
I have a professional job and an apartment, and I do this without sucking off the government tit.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:50
I have a professional job and an apartment
TRANSLATION:
I work at the local Burger King out of my halfway house for sex offenders.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:50
In fact my parents aren’t even alive anymore, you dumb fucks.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:51
But its good to see that libs hate the poor they profess to care about.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:52
In fact my parents aren’t even alive anymore, you dumb fucks.
TRANSLATION:
They had to change their names after the last pederasty conviction.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:53
I wonder if Troofie’s parents were subjected to the death panels of their HMO?
Steerpike said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:54
No really, Timmy (or “Please-Phrase-Your-Nym-In-The-Form-Of-A-Question), I’m genuinely curious. Do you enjoy Free Republic? Townhall? NRO? Atlas Shrugged? Red State?
How long would one of us last over there before being banned? Would our comments be deleted? Would our URLs be permanently blocked?
In Short, can we come over to your house and demand to be the same kind of obnoxious troll you are here?
Who really believes in freedom of speech?
Scott said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:54
In fact my parents aren’t even alive anymore, you dumb fucks.
Too… many… jokes… Can’t… decide… which to… use…
St. DMM said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:54
In fact my parents aren’t even alive anymore, you dumb fucks.
Then you should totally move out of their basement, man. That’s really creepy.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:55
In fact my parents aren’t even alive anymore, you dumb fucks.
Too… many… jokes… Can’t… decide… which to… use…
Troofie’s so obnoxious, his grandparents gave his parents a retroactive abortion.
kingubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:55
In fact my parents aren’t even alive anymore, you dumb fucks.
Smokers?
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:55
I read NRO, but it doesn’t have comments. I also read RedState, TownHall, Big Hollywood, and Reason Magazine Hit&Run.
You would be banned at Red State (but I’d also be banned, aka “troll rated” into oblivion at Kos, so STFU), but you could post at Town Hall, Big Hollywood, and Reason’s Hut & Run.
g said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:58
But its good to see that libs hate the poor they profess to care about.
Hahhahahahah! This is always a good one!
I have a professional job and an apartment, and I do this without sucking off the government tit.
Mmhmm. And time to troll. But seriously, I’m surprised you’re not telling us that you own a “successful business” or that you’re a Ph.D with reknown in your “field”, or that you have a gorgeous wife. That’s the usual troll fodder.
You need to get a little more creative with your fantasy life.
N.C. said,
August 11, 2009 at 16:58
Don’t forget, if it wasn’t for the USA your ancestors would have been killed in the Czar’s pogroms or one of Hitler’s ovens, so show some gratitude.
Hey bro, my ancestors allied with Hitler, kicked the Soviets’ asses, then turned around and kicked the Germans back out, so hyvää päivää to you, bub.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:00
Hey bro, my ancestors allied with Hitler, kicked the Soviets’ asses, then turned around and kicked the Germans back out, so hyvää päivää to you, bub.
Suomalaiset?
YOU TOO?????
N.C. said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:00
YOU TOO?????
Third generation, but yeah.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:01
Second. Dad was a major under Mannheim.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:02
Or Mannerheim, whatever the fuck the guy’s name was.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:05
…under Mannheim.
He got steamrollered.
kingubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:06
Oh man, today is gonna be a good’un.
One of the cable newsers was broadcasting live from Specter’s town hall where Li’l Timmy’s grampaw stood up and, in the space of 2 minutes, declared that he 1) “worked in government for years” 2) “worked in IT for years” and 3) was worried about “BIG GUBMIT BUREAUCRATS and THEIR COMPUTERS!1!!1!”
Yeah.
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:07
Too… many… jokes… Can’t… decide… which to… use…
Zombie jokes. Can’t go wrong with jokes about zombie trolls.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:08
I am not in my “mom’s basement”, but I see a lot of libs are since they keep accusing me of it.
Really?
“I know you are but what am I?”
We’re arguing with Pee-Wee Herman?
St. Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:09
I really have to wonder if Trolly McNutgargle is the owner of one of the sites that the management mocks every now and then.
I’ve seen it proposed here that it’s really Cornfed Wankee. The field of possible wingnuts is extremely broad, though. What Troofie’s been saying lately, plus a veneer of repectability, is exactly what I saw on CNN this morning.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:09
We’re arguing with Pee-Wee Herman?
Well, it sure ain’t “Big Dick” Herman…
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:10
…zombie trolls.
Hey!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:12
What Troofie’s been saying lately, plus a veneer of repectability, is exactly what I saw on CNN this morning.
why, it’s almost like there’s a central Directorate sending out emails with Points to Talk about…
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:15
I am not in my “mom’s basement”, but I see a lot of libs are since they keep accusing me of it.
Dammit, he cited the landmark case of Rubber v. Glue as precedent. Looks like we’ll have to reassess our riposte, libs.
kingubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:16
Hey!
He didn’t mean zombies who troll blogs; he meant the not-undead scamps who troll zombie hordes.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:18
why, it’s almost like there’s a central Directorate sending out emails with Points to Talk about…
A “politburo” if you will.
Anonymous said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:19
“You got to block Bushs judicial appointments and Social Security reform”
The “reform” plan according to which MAH TAX MONEEZ would have been in the stock market instead. Yeah, a real shame the loony libs blocked THAT one, huh?
“Don’t forget, if it wasn’t for the USA your ancestors would have been killed in the Czar’s pogroms or one of Hitler’s ovens, so show some gratitude.”
The Hitler that a Democrat president (oh wait, that one was a socialist!) went to war against despite the screeching opposition of conservatives? USA USA, motherfucker!
GoatBoy said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:20
that was me.
Lazy troll is lazy and such as. Also.
St. Johnny Coelacanth, Caucasian said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:21
I realize this is late, and I’m sure other trolls came and went but honestly, people, is there anybody here who does not clearly see that ‘USA Freedom Power” is a parody troll? It’s sooo obvious that it’s embarrassing to watch people treat it seriously.
Observe its first appearance in this thread:
I mean, come the fuck on! If you read that and did NOT recognize it as satire … maybe you should take a time out, or give things a closer reading. I mean, I’m as guilty of feeding the troll as (almost) anybody, but fuck’s sake people. It’s just flame bait, as the kids used to say.
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:22
Hey!
He didn’t mean zombies who troll blogs; he meant the not-undead scamps who troll zombie hordes.
The first would be a troll zombie, not a zombie troll.
St. Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:22
I love how Troofie, despite his pants-shitting fear of black/Latino children, is somehow trying to take personal credit for winning World War 2 to win ITG points and deflect criticism.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:25
Gee, I don’t want Tyrone and Jose shaking down “whitey” for lunch money as he tries to go to school. Imagine that.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:27
Gee, I don’t want Tyrone and Jose shaking down “whitey” for lunch money as he tries to go to school.
Bubba and his federally financed meth lab, however, is fine.
St. Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:27
But that would only be a danger for people who ever went to school. Or made money. Or left the house. Why the foolish, Rand-contrary concern for people other than yourself?
GoatBoy said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:31
White kids don’t shake down white kids for lunch money. It’s in The Code.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:32
…aaaaaaannnnnnnd the strident racism rears its head yet again!!
“Tyrone”? Really? It’s like it doesn’t even KNOW any black people, and gets all his information from Fat Albert cartoons
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:34
Tyrell, LaShan, Propecia, Latifah, whatever the fuck their names are these days.
Lunch Lady said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:34
It’s a Number 10 can of cling peaches, kid. Best birthday present the other ladies ever gave me.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:35
As opposed to, you know, civilized names like Britney and Cletus…
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:37
It’s a Number 10 can of cling peaches, kid.
They lift and separate.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:37
#
GoatBoy said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:31 (kill)
White kids don’t shake down white kids for lunch money. It’s in The Code.
Tell it to the Lunch Lady.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:38
I gotta say, I like the Lunch Lady better than Troofy.
Pere Ubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:42
Why the foolish, Rand-contrary concern for people other than yourself?
Concern is a limited good!
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:42
I love the Lunch Lady posts. I don’t GET them, but I love them nonetheless. Must be the hairnet.
Joe Max said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:44
All the bullies that shook people down for lunch money when I was a kid were white.
My kid (14 yrs) goes to public school in Oakland. She takes the bus downtown every day. Her school is predominantly black. Only *once* has she been “shaken down” for anything, when a WHITE girl tried to snatch her iPod at the bus stop. My daughter chased her down, dropped the little snot with a kick to the back of the knees, and took the iPod back. (My girl is a black belt in tae kwon do.)
You’re just a pants-wetting little pussy, aren’t you?
Pere Ubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:45
Like I said awhile back – Twoofie has gotten a hell of a lot more racist as of late.
I’m suuuure it has NOTHING to do with the evil Black Man in the White House. Nope, never does lately.
st. alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:48
He always has been. He just originally tried to be covert about it, because he mistakes being politely ignored for being taken seriously.
My favorite was his ranting about being kicked out of RHODEEEEEEEEEEESIA after Obama was inaugurated. Kind of tied it all in a neat little bow, you know?
All hail Big Black!
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:49
You’re just a panties-wetting little pussy, aren’t you?
Fixed for gender correctness
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:49
Why don’t you move to France or Canada, Alec?
st. alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:49
Hey hey hey! Let’s destroy American values with radical Islam!
JM said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:50
“Tyrone”?
The stratigraphy of the nomenclature dates this particular bit of frighty whitey mythology to Detroit, ca. 1973.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:50
The funny thing is, under Islamofascism, people like Alec would be the FIRST to be beheaded.
St. Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:51
Why doesn’t Troofie move to Somalia? Or Saudi Arabia, since they have the same opinion about gay people and the Bush family?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:51
(My girl is a black belt in tae kwon do.)
ATA , Joe?
My son and I are black belts also.
JM said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:52
Trolls are an inelastic commodity.
st. alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:53
Now that Obama’s in office, I don’t have to. We’re already bilingual! Ha ha!
Maintenant nous avons installé monsieur Obama Roi Frauduleux de la Nlégritude, je n’ai plus besoin de lui. Nous sommes déjà homosexuelles! Ah hon hon hon!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:53
Why doesn’t Troofie move to Somalia? Or Saudi Arabia, since they have the same opinion about gay people and the Bush family?
Too much melanin.
Obviously.
slippytoad said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:54
Something about how the Democrats WON this election and you can just pry your lips open and take it like a man.
This whole attitude that you conservitards “won’t accept” shit is getting tiresome. YOU LOST. Deal with it. If you have better ideas you had all last year to show ‘em off.
Scott said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:55
Like I said awhile back – Twoofie has gotten a hell of a lot more racist as of late.
I think he was always racist. He’s just had an excuse to express it more often, now that an overwhelming majority of his fellow citizens rejected the two idiot honkeys on the GOP ticket last November.
st. alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:55
We made fun of Gerald Ford too, and now try making a list of the best Presidents without him.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:57
You won the election, but still can’t get single payer or even a public option! SUCK IT!
Its funny how Alec jokes about radical Islam, since he’d be the first to be killed under it.
st. alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:59
Best part about Troofus’s recent “go to socialist islamistan, faggots” schtick (besides pulling it in such an off year for his team) is that his example countries are ruled by neoconservative lunatics (with Canada’s electoral opponents at present even being a neoconservative wannabe-American and a neoliberal American citizen).
I suppose I wouldn’t normally rely on someone who can’t straighten out simple electoral politics outside of his own country for complex discussion of policy issues, but I suppose I’m going to want to keep this one around in my browser. You know, just in case?
st. alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 17:59
If I promise not to hog all the scary, uncircumcised Arab whangs, can we kiss and make up? <3
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:00
This whole attitude that you conservitards “won’t accept” shit is getting tiresome. YOU LOST.
Elections have consequences, as they say.
St. Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:01
Didn’t our nymjacked versions all praise radical Islam and fantasize about destroying Israel? Why would they kill us?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:01
You won the election, but still can’t get single payer or even a public option!
And Bush did…what again?
Oh right, nothing for eight years.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:02
hell, alec, it’s got a lousy grasp of electoral politics WITHIN his own country.
For instance, it hasn’t been able to internalize the fact that the Right LOST last November, and the previous election also.
But you know, he probably doesn’t feel it is really HIS country anymore, what with the BLACK GUY in the White House and all…
The Ghost of Troofies Past said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:03
You won the election, but you’ll never get the porkulus through Congress! Suck it!
You won the election, but you’ll never get a spic justice confirmed! Suck it!
You won the election, but Sarah Palin will be around FOREVER! Suck it!
tigrismus said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:03
Why doesn’t Troofie move to Somalia? Or Saudi Arabia, since they have the same opinion about gay people and the Bush family?
Russia: it’s the corrupt authoritarian oligarchy of his deepest, wettest dreams.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:03
Do you think a radical Islamist government would have much time for Jews, Alec?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:04
Also, because it NEVER gets old:
Senator Al Franken.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:04
Oh right, nothing for eight years.
To be fair, he had all that torture, war, letting New Orleans drown, ass-raping the economy, POOPing on America’s reputation and environmental disaster to oversee. Although, he did manage to crony-up much more of the government than any normal person would have thought possible.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:04
You won the election, but you’ll never get the porkulus through Congress! Suck it!
You won the election, but you’ll never get a spic justice confirmed! Suck it!
You won the election, but Sarah Palin will be around FOREVER! Suck it!
Looks like somebody’s been bookmarking…
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:06
To be fair, he had all that torture, war, letting New Orleans drown, ass-raping the economy, POOPing on America’s reputation and environmental disaster to oversee. Although, he did manage to crony-up much more of the government than any normal person would have thought possible.
What, you’re not gonna mention all that brush-clearing?
Now that he’s moved out of Crawford, I bet that brush is gaining ground. We need a War On Brush! Get the clippers, Troofy!!
cyntax said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:07
Oh right, nothing for eight years.
Well he built Guantanamo. I’m sure that will be remebered right up there with things like the Berlin Airlift and the Civil Rights Act of 1964 for freedomy justiciness.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:08
Well he built Guantanamo.
And he gave socialist Africa a socialist $5billion dollars to treat that “ghey plague” that’s been ravaging the continent.
The socialist.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:08
George W. Bush kept us safe for eight years and liberated tens of millions of people from Islamist Tyranny.
st. alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:09
n.b.: This was me immediately after the election, so it turns out the racism ain’t so sudden after all. If only someone had bookmarked it.
(Yes, I found this by googling ‘metro sarko dodo’ to see if I had used it yet.)
Scott said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:09
Well he built Guantanamo. I’m sure that will be remebered right up there with things like the Berlin Airlift and the Civil Rights Act of 1964 for freedomy justiciness.
Maybe up there with the Firebombing of Dresden and the Tuskegee Syphillis Study…
Joe Max said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:09
WTF. (No, folks, that’s not “what the fuck”, but the World Taekwondo Federation.) Olympic rules, but with lots of board and cinder-block breaking, along with hosinsul (self-defense).
roast beef kazenzakis said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:10
bagerbeiger
I see you a bagerbeiger and raise you a Bling Blong.
Scott said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:12
George W. Bush kept us safe for eight years and liberated tens of millions of people from Islamist Tyranny.
Except that he did neither. And more than three-quarters of Americans hated his guts by the time he left.
Oooh, those damned Americans, hating on Freedom!
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:12
George W. Bush kept us safe for eight years…
Except for that first year or so.
… and liberated tens of millions of people from Islamist Tyranny.
by killing them.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:12
George W. Bush kept us safe for eight years…
OMFG!?! How could you have forgotten 9-11? Why do you hate America?
Willy said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:12
Do you think a radical Islamist government would have much time for Jews, Alec?
Nor would a Christofascist government have much time for brown people, ‘cept for killing them.
And where is Alec moving to get that radical Islamist gov’t, cuz it sure ain’t happening here.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:13
They hated Harry Truman, too, and now he’s ranked as one of the greatest Presidents.
cyntax said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:14
Maybe up there with the Firebombing of Dresden and the Tuskegee Syphillis Study…
What is weird is that Cheney was not associated with either of those decisions–just goes to show we have no shortage of evil wankers.
St. Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:16
Wow, Troofie is so stupid he calls Saddam “Iran and al-Qaeda both hate me for running a secular state” Hussein an “Islamist”.
But hey, he’s already stupid enough to use the word “Islamist” as though it’s an actual thing, so what the hell.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:20
Saddam Hussein paid the families of Palestinian suicide bombers for killing Jews.
cyntax said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:21
Ah here we go. Troofie’s soulmate:
St. Kid from Kounty Meath said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:23
Another thing, if the people of Iraq are Muslims, why are you hailing someone for *snicker* “liberating” them? Shouldn’t they all be blown to Hell before they can kill alec?
Scott said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:28
Another thing, if the people of Iraq are Muslims, why are you hailing someone for *snicker* “liberating” them? Shouldn’t they all be blown to Hell before they can kill alec?
Why does Troofie hate the Jews?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:28
And George Bush paid KBR to electrocute American soldiers.
So when do we get to hang him?
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:32
Russia: it’s the corrupt authoritarian oligarchy of his deepest, wettest dreams.
It’s also full of people of his preferred whiter shade of pale, many of whom share his distrust of people of other shades.
St. Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:32
Well he built Guantanamo.
Don’t forget that he tore down Saddam’s horrible torture-chambery prison at Abu Ghraib – then built an even bigger torturier prison there.
St. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:38
Some of the more ridiculous contradictions in classical wing-nut duality are coming into focus.
Universal health care is horribly bad because all them “illegals” will be gettin’ their Rx-es on the taxpayer dime. This means a huge influx of even more dirty messicans which somehow equates to a jew-killing Islamofascistic take-over of America. Even though Mexico is so fucking Catholic, even the atheists say Hail Marys when they get up in the morning.
George W. Bush kept the country safe, minus of course the deadliest terror attack to ever occur on US soil. Obama on the other hand, is a miserable failure since there have been no terrorist attacks on US soil since he was elected.
Wait – that doesn’t count since Obama’s only been Usurper for eight months. Which, of course, is more than enough time for him to have enacted Lie-beral Utopia – the lack of which is more evidence of Obama’s utter failure.
See this is (one of) the (very many) problem(s) with the crazy über-tribalism the right-wing is into – “Everything Conservative is good. Everything else is bad.” This thinking leads to Islamo-Atheist Mexicans. To Naive Inexperienced Super-Masterminds who are simultaneously incapable of doing anything and the most dangerous threat civilization has ever faced. To gangsta-rapping thuggish coastal academic elites.
st. alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:43
Catholic is, as we all know, a type of Muslim. Next!
What do you mean, no terrorist attacks on US soil? Only four years after he was elected to the Senate, the White House was invaded by secret Islam. Next!
No, just evidence that Obama is a sensible moderate who has left us insane radicals behind, and also that he’s taking sensible moderate marching orders from Bill “Tony Scary Black Mansko” Errs. Next!
And it leads – and is central – to my point. Good day, sir!
st. alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:45
I would have taken him before he dropped the classic Stalin look, but you’re welcome to him now. Any other studs you want to reserve before the Berlin Conference on Brown Genitals formally begins?
St. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:47
Good day, sir!
Well, I’ve been told. Maybe I should stick with the classics.
penis.
cyntax said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:48
See this is (one of) the (very many) problem(s) with the crazy über-tribalism the right-wing is into…
That and their iron-clad conviction that everything is a zero-sum game.
More people coming to America won’t mean more people innovating and creating new markets and new jobs to serve those markets. It just means less jobs fer Murrikans!
A public option for healthcare means paying for brown-people’s doctors’ bills.
Pere Ubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:48
PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA, Twoofie.
Ha! Scared you, didn’t I?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:52
I’m having difficulties with beatifiction etiquette. Is there an accepted protocol for when St. is apropos and when it is not?
st. alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:52
The “illegal immigrants stealin’ our medicines” thing is particularly precious, because evidently rapidly-mutating swine flu among the people packing, cleaning, and preparing your food is a triumph of the free market. It’s like boiling Obama’s fuel savings initiatives to saving enormous amounts of money on gas by inflating your tires and then treating this as a bad thing. At least that’s just a crazy made-up example, right?
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:54
Good day, sir!
Well, I’ve been told. Maybe I should stick with the classics.
penis.
I don’t know, but I’ve been told
Man without PENIS ain’t got no soul
st. alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:54
I use it when I am tangentially addressing the troll and drop it when talking with someone uninvolved in the pig-sticking about something unrelated.
I maintain that making unto the implicit agreement re: nym-gimmickry as would a hated savage of Wales should result in an IP ban for Troofus, but what can you do?
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:56
More people coming to America won’t mean more people innovating and creating new markets and new jobs to serve those markets. It just means less jobs fer Murrikans!
Also missing from the fear-mongering; any mention that immigrants actually expand demand for goods and services.
Why do Conservatives want to fetter the Free Markets?
alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:56
It might not be penis, but it’s about as close as one gets: You could keep freelancing, men you don’t know, filthy alleys, you love balls.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:57
I don’t know, but I’ve been told
Man without PENIS ain’t got no soul
There are several hundred women here to speak to you, sir.
St. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 11, 2009 at 18:59
Here’s a suggestion for good ol’ Troofers. He’s apparently already figured out how to change his nym, perhaps he ought to start compartmentalizing his various phobias and neuroses into specific entities. For example, maybe he could focus his irrational hate and racism into just one alias like “Lou Dobbs”, and then he could have another for his patriotic love of the Free Market like “MEgan McGaltdle”. I suppose that there’s an increased risk of multi-personality disorder, but it’s not like he could get any more batshit crazy.
N__B said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:01
There are several hundred women here to speak to you, sir.
I prefer women without penii of their own. If they choose to rent or buy one, it’s none of my business.
cyntax said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:02
I’m having difficulties with beatifiction
Sure Kerouac’s not my favorite, but everybody should read On the Road once.
Illegal Rx? said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:03
I don’t want illegals moving here and re-creating the cesspools they inhabit in the Third World.
st. alec said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:06
So you’re either boasting about your time machine or passing the time between Kuwaiti tourists.
Are you drunk? Can you get drunk on your own semen? I’m not impugning your work ethic, just questioning your methods.
OneMadClown said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:09
I have a professional job and an apartment, and I do this without sucking off the government tit.
Or anyone else’s tit for that matter. BA-ZING!
Major Kong said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:09
Maybe up there with the Firebombing of Dresden
You’re not supposed to call it that. We were “de-housing the workforce”.
I’m not making that up. That was the RAF term for that sort of thing.
cyntax said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:14
I’m not making that up. That was the RAF term for that sort of thing.
Did McNamara help them come up with that one?
Pere Ubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:15
I don’t want illegals moving here and re-creating the cesspools they inhabit in the Third World.
We want to make our own First World cesspools!
OneMadClown said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:16
We want to make our own First World cesspools!
Viva Detroit!
St. Xecky Gilchrist said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:16
I do this without sucking off the government tit.
Clearly not using roads, then – well done, Troofus! Saving all that gasoline like a good Greenie.
cyntax said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:19
I don’t want illegals moving here and re-creating the cesspools they inhabit in the Third World.
Leaving aside for a moment the hubris of your judgement about cesspools, why would they bother with the danger and trouble coming here in the first place if they were interested in maintaining the status quo?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:20
I don’t want illegals moving here and re-creating the cesspools they inhabit in the Third World.
They might make our own Dixie cesspools pale by comparison.
St? Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:22
…coming here in the first place if they were interested in maintaining the status quo?
Because they hate America.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:24
What’s really funny about the immigration debate is people in the places where immigrants land and have always traditionally landed…you know, coasts and borders (except for Arizona, maybe) seem to have no problem with illegal immigration in moderate doses.
In other words, the people this most affects don’t really seem to give a crap.
cyntax said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:27
They might make our own Dixie cesspools pale by comparison.
Is our infant mortality rate still lower than Cuba’s?
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:31
Is our infant mortality rate still lower than Cuba’s?
Our life expectancy, however, is slightly higher.
cyntax said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:36
Our life expectancy, however, is slightly higher.
As long as you’ve already got the access to good healthcare…
g said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:36
the landmark case of Rubber v. Glue as precedent
Bwah! I scared my cubemates.
Michael G. said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:37
Man this thread is starting to smell like old socks and last week’s fish. Can we get a new one?
g said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:38
Tyrell, LaShan, Propecia, Latifah, whatever the fuck their names are these days.
Not good ‘merikan names like Trigg, Track, Piper and Tripp.
And Dwayne.
g said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:41
George W. Bush kept us safe for eight years and liberated tens of millions of people from Islamist Tyranny.
by killing them.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:41
Man this thread is starting to smell like old socks and last week’s fish
That’s just Troofy.
Pere Ubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:42
Not good ‘merikan names like Trigg, Track, Piper and Tripp.
And Dwayne.
Don’t forget Newt.
actor212 said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:47
Not good ‘merikan names like Trigg, Track, Piper and Tripp.
And Dwayne.
Don’t forget Newt.
Joe Bob. Billy Bob. Plumb Bob.
Steerpike said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:47
Did Timmy leave? He hasn’t posted in over 40 minutes? Wuzzup Widdat?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:48
Portsmouth High, New Hampshire
Just minutes ago President Barack HUSSEIN Obama unveiled his plans for a National Health Care System. Embracing the ideas presented by one-time opponent Sarah Palin, Obama says that Death Panels will be introduced starting the day after Thanksgiving, which he called “the first day in The War Against Christmas”.
In an effort to address protestor complaints, the president said that “there will be no rationing of health care” and that the Death Panels would provide comprehensive euthanasia services not only to the elderly, but to all Americans that had not yet converted to Islam.
This assurance did very little to assuage the complaints from activists on both sides of the debate. One protestor wearing a visible handgun and carrying a sign proclaiming that “it is time to water the tree of liberty” seemed unmoved by the Obama’s words. On the other side, some guy from Health Care for America Now spoke into a loud speaker clearly demonstrating that both sides of the debate are exactly equally uncouth and out of touch.
One grassroots conservative protestor, who took time out of his busy schedule as a lobbyist for Blue Cross to attend the meeting, pointed out that nationalized health care, like the National Health Service in the United Kingdom,would kill off physically weak geniuses like Stephen Hawking. The Organizing for America astroturf professional had no reply to such a cogent argument.
In the end, although Obama answered every question asked in a very thorough and thoughtful manner, he left many questions unanswered.
g said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:50
I know that years down the road, I don’t want my children coming to me and asking me, ‘Mom, why didn’t you do anything? Why do we have to
wait in line for, I don’t know, toilet paper or anything?’Multiple choice if wingnuts ruled:
a) sit in these endless traffic jams (because wingnuts blocked mass-transit funds)
b) wait endlessly in emergency rooms for treatment (because wingnuts blocked health-care reform and the family’s policy was cancelled due to failure to disclosure Billy’s acne treatment)
c) wait at this Red Cross shelter for food and a cot (because increased coastal flooding wiped out our home)
d) be on a waiting list for college admission (because wingnut financial policies destroyed universities and wiped out Pell grants)
e) stand in line at this food bank, because Dad’s job was sent overseas.
f) stand in line for fresh bottled water, because strip mining destroyed the water table that fed our home’s well.
g) wait in the emergency room (again) because the weakening of the Clean Air Act caused pollution that aggravated Sister’s asthma.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:53
Multiple choice if wingnuts ruled:
Don’t forget that they would blame every single one of those outcomes on Liberals.
st. roast beef kazenzakis said,
August 11, 2009 at 19:59
So Troofums, when you say ‘illegals’ is that solely brown ones? Do you care about , say, white, readhaired Irish gals who come here and overstay student visas to get jobs in NYC bars, tending, because they like America more than the religious violence of their homeland? I knew a few, is why, really nice women. Eventually settled down here with American partners, all of em, but were here illegally, technically.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:04
the day after Thanksgiving, which he called “the first day in The War Against Christmas”.
Man, the War Against Christmas starts earlier every year, doesn’t it? Sheesh.
roast beef kazenzakis said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:04
Troofie? Honey? Lammikins? You left?
Guess his fryalator shift at Burger Mullah is comin’ up. He must be pedalin’ his little scooter fast as his stumpy fat legs will go, rushin’ to the prospect of greasy food.
Pere Ubu said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:05
At least all the bean-counting Nazi bureaucrats who stand between us and our health care we paid for are PRIVATE bean-counting Nazi bureaucrats! Wheee! U-S-A U-S-A
Dragon-King Wangchuck, investigative reporter said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:08
Man, the War Against Christmas starts earlier every year, doesn’t it?
Hey, I just report the news. As an investigative reporter, what I do is write down what the president or his appointed officials say, and then type it verbatim up into a story.
Besides, it’s supposed to be the Holiday Season. It should be starting in September.
Steerpike said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:14
Some of us try to keep the spirit of the War-Against-Christmas season in our hearts all year long. The world would be a better place if more of us did.
justme said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:16
Limbaugh’s cock, on the other hand…
Cap'n Fatback said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:17
Long-time lurker; infrequent poster. Call me overly nostalgic for my early adulthood, but I can’t help but see the parallel of Troofie come in here, pointing a gun at A.J. (TinTin) and “shooting up the place” as comparable to Warren’s outburst in Empire Records.
Maybe he just wants to fit in with all the cool kids?
cyntax said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:18
Is healthcare reform a War-Against-Senoirs yet?
Really can’t be bothered with anything that doesn’t come pre-packaged in some apocalyptic trope that pits me against all the un-Merrikans.
justme said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:20
Smut Clyde,
I was expecting this.
Steerpike said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:32
Is healthcare reform a War-Against-Senoirs yet?
Hadn’t you heard? Socialized medicine is all about euthanasia!
I have traveled extensively in my mind, and I can’t tell you the horror of the death panels around the world:
In Canada, if you’re too weak to chop wood or too old to ice-skate, you are immediately slathered with bacon grease set adrift on an ice-floe.
In France, anyone who can no longer hit the high notes of “La Marsellaise” is restricted to a diet of Coors Light and Cheese-Whiz until you die (usually a matter of hours, if not minutes).
In Spain, the Running of the Bulls takes care of weeding out the slow and unintelligent.
In Japan, senior citizens, children with birth defects and fired, bankrupt corporate middle-managers are required to commit seppuku with discount-store Ginsu knives.
Dragon-King Wangchuck, investigative reporter said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:33
Columbia,
ArgentinaSouth CarolinaEmbattled Democrat govenor Mark Sanford of South Carolina is having the heat turned up on him. Fortunately for Sanford, heat like the type found in South America, is something he welcomes.
Republican state senator Dave Thomas, no relation to the founder of Wendy’s, has called for Sanford’s resignation.
Although Sanford’s marital infidelity has been in the headlines recently, and the GOP is a stalwart defender of family values and the sanctity of marriage, Thomas’ complaint is based on improper use of state funds. This is no big surprise as the Republican party is well known for their diligent oversight in the use of public monies as well as their steadfast adherence to the principles of accountability.
Other Democrats that have been caught in tawdry sex scandals include Bill Clinton, John Edwards and president Barack Obama. The ranks of the Democrat party is also rife with corruption investigations such as those surrounding the Clinton’s involvement in Whitewater, William Jefferson’s $90K in the freezer and Barack Obama.
Sex scandals and public corruption is something that clearly affects both sides of the aisle, although it certainly seems like the Democrat is much more susceptible.
A totally objective non-partisan view by America’s most beloved private citizen, Sarah Palin, was found in her Twitter feed. “For the sake of the troops, you have to shout down the health care meetings.” Followed by “they’re going to death panel Trig and that would make First Dude sad, you betcha.”
cyntax said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:44
Hadn’t you heard? Socialized medicine is all about euthanasia!
That’s a relief! I was worried we wouldn’t be able to inspire people to bring handguns to Obama’s townhalls:
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
August 11, 2009 at 20:54
the Running of the Bulls takes care of weeding out the slow and unintelligent.
what, was Pinko Punko by here?
Mike D said,
August 11, 2009 at 21:21
Roast Beef,
i believe your commentary should be printed thusly. roast beef don’t need no capitalization, bitch.
coldH2Owi said,
August 11, 2009 at 21:43
Hay, I mean – Hey, what’s wrong with Chex Party Mix. They’re better than Cheetos, I believe.
DAS said,
August 11, 2009 at 21:49
Ya know some GOP presidents have done things that definitely gave aid and comfort to our enemies (e.g. deposing Saddam Hussein thus paving the way for the creation of Al Qaeda in Iraq). And hence were treasonous.
And I betcha the “Obama is a treasonor” crowd would be the first to defend GW Bush with a Nixon-esque “but when the President does it, it can’t be a crime”. Meanwhile, if one of that crowd were to see my remarks, they would go on and on about frothing leftists on the internets saying GW Bush was treasonous.
And meanwhile the so-called liberal media would try to paint someone like me as equivalent to astroturf wingnuts.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
August 11, 2009 at 23:08
Also, taking advice from Mark Steyn? Isn’t he a Canadian?
So much for your resistance to “diversity” and to illegals taking all our jobs. There’s countless American pundits who could be making money selling shitty demographic racism, but have been usurped of their rightful pay and place by invading hordes of Canadian wingnuts.
PaulG said,
August 12, 2009 at 2:19
What happens if you have two vidoephonogrammaphoneinculars and set one to picture and the other to sound?
actor212 said,
August 12, 2009 at 3:41
Man, the War Against Christmas starts earlier every year, doesn’t it? Sheesh.
John Gibson is rumoured to have his War-Against-Christmas Santas out on Halloween this year, ringing their bells and stealing candy from kids
roast beef kazenzakis said,
August 12, 2009 at 15:14
mike d,
Ray was using my pc and didn’t change the name on the post form because you know to him a computer is just a porno display and he don’t know much about stuff like cookies that ain’t the doublestuf he scarfs while watchin the view.
Smut Clyde said,
August 13, 2009 at 3:27
justme said,
I was expecting this.
It’s all in the presentation with these recipes.