Sadly, No! » The, Uh, Warriors Did It

Aug
6

The, Uh, Warriors Did It

Posted at 10:30 by Gavin M.

Above (l-r): Definitely not a conspiracy theorist, Ann Cougar Belsencamp

Ann Coulter, Human Events:
Obama Birth Certificate Spotted In Bogus Moon Landing Footage

Conservatives led the way in denouncing the left-wing “birther” movement. [pauses, grins expectantly] Because get real! Which side contains 99% of the people who believe in Wicca and the so-called Iran-Contra scandal? [lifts Christian Dior dress and tries to urinate on carpet, hangs there dryly for a moment, then lowers dress and pretends to have been doing a little shuffle-off-to-Buffalo dance the whole time. A man wearing a headset leans into the frame holding a cue card marked 'FOO!' The sprinklers come on.]

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

Note: Title cf.

Permalink

115 Comments »

Joe Max said,

August 6, 2009 at 10:47

How can there be that much black-hole level stupid in such close proximity without a rift in the fabric of space-time occurring?
secretlysomeoneelse said,

August 6, 2009 at 10:49

Gah – the picture.

Here comes breakfast again.
Mrs Tilton said,

August 6, 2009 at 11:21

The picture – gah indeed.

The caption, though: I want to have Gavin’s children. We should all want to have Gavin’s children. Seriously, there’s a 50% chance they’d get the Captioning Genius Gene.
Zebbidie said,

August 6, 2009 at 11:25

Now we have to play spot the reference and I’m not so hot on nouvelle vague filmography. Fellini? That Salo guy? Gucci? Fiorucci?

Come on Gav, gissa klew
a different brad said,

August 6, 2009 at 11:41

If there is a god (nope), then Ann Coulter and Dane Cook will end their careers doing infomercials together.
Ted the Slacker said,

August 6, 2009 at 12:15

I call Doughy-Anntload.

Teh fapping is teh awesome, however, can’t wait for Andy McBirthy to weigh in.

Birthers: “Show us the vault copy”
GOPligarchs: “Show them the vault copy to make them go away.”
bjacques said,

August 6, 2009 at 12:19

They killed Cyrus! (And cooked up the fake Kenyan birth certificate to make us look stoopit.)
El Cid said,

August 6, 2009 at 12:31

Of course the birthers were left wing. According to famed and completely self-made scholar Jonah Goldberg, all people who make conservatives look bad are by definition left-wing. Duh. It’s how it works. Read a book, dumbasses.
El Cid said,

August 6, 2009 at 12:50

I thought I was just making up the Jonah Goldberg stuff based on a theoretical model of Goldbergian argumentationizing.

Or, no, I apparently wasn’t.

So now we know who’s behind the Obama birther conspiracy: Barack Hussein Obama, of course. Or at least so Jonah Goldberg informs us. It is all a sinister plot, you see, to “tar Republicans as extremists.” Because only a sinister plot could ever possibly make Republicans look like extremists.

Meanwhile, on the other hand, and this is the essential point — this is Jonah Goldberg trying to explain how His Side is Not Crazy. Why, he says, even Ann Coulter and Pat Buchanan aren’t crazy, and you know how crazy they are!

Honestly, he says that. Without even a twitch of the jaw as he tongues his cud.

He thinks he’s people. We’re just measuring his methane.
yoyo said,

August 6, 2009 at 13:21

does that make the birthers proto antifascist smiley faced hitler goldberg things or are they all just used tea bags? it’s sooo confusing.
Derelict said,

August 6, 2009 at 13:23

This is going to be a painful transition. One half of the right-wing noise machine calling the other half liberal? Stand by for good times!
javafascist said,

August 6, 2009 at 13:30

If I have this correct, the white man is still the jew of liberal fascism and since the birthers are liberals, aka, liberal fascists, the birthers are the nazis? So the doughmeister was right all along!?!?!?!
El Cid said,

August 6, 2009 at 13:37

I was a premature anti-birther.
Ted the Slacker said,

August 6, 2009 at 13:43

I thought I was just making up the Jonah Goldberg stuff based on a theoretical model of Goldbergian argumentationizing.

I thought it was decent satire.
tofubo said,

August 6, 2009 at 13:58

i didn’t know mAnn was a model in her spare time

http://www.weblo.com/property/real_estate/Victoria_Secret/1612927/

(2nd photo)
Jek Porkins Jr. said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:01

My dad was a combat vet, and I like the conspiracy theory that answering the decennial census will put super-secret privacy data into the behemoth computer Big Acorn, to be manipulated by artificial intelligence for the coming robot uprising. Liberals are responsible for that theory, too.
Jek Porkins Jr. said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:03

er…socialist robot uprising.
theperilouspea said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:06

The gentle waves of biting conspiricy nibble the ankle of patience , a rich gruel for advanced burping savants
Oh for the room to swing
Benny Goodman , the king
Sing sing sing !
Dot said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:06

So, when do the conservative filmmakers release “Birther Of A Nation?”
Darth Revan said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:08

http://existentialmusingsofmatt.blogspot.com/2009/08/its-like-deja-vu-all-over-again.html

Shorter Nick Kristolof (I wish I was kidding):

Despite having just saved two journalists from North Korean imprisonment, we still have this ~~yellowcake Ahmad Chalabi al-Qaeda connexion~~ fragmentary intelligence about them spreading nuclear technology… and you know I’m a Sensible Liberal™ and everything, but another war is just what we need right now!
drew42 said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:08

Gavin is a master of the written physical comedy genre.

Reminds me of my favorite Douglas Adams bit:

A door flopped open, wobbling perilously on its one remaining hinge, and there emerged from the car a pair of the sort of legs which soundtrack editors are unable to see without needing to slap a smoky saxophone solo all over, for reasons which no one besides soundtrack editors has ever been able to understand. In this particular case, however, the saxophone would have been silenced by the proximity of the kazoo which the same soundtrack editor would almost certainly have slapped all over the progress of the vehicle.
Just Joe said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:20

I really, really, REALLY want to see how the birthers react to being called left-wing.

Wait a second… why are we taking Coulter’s word for it? How do we know SHE isn’t a lefty, trying to bring down the noble and not-at-all-insane birther movement?
Y’know, sometimes I think maybe I’m a little too smart for my own good.
N__B said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:21

“Get home to sanity? Sanity has to be fifty or a hundred miles from here!”
Michael G. said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:23

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/aug/05/barack-obama-joker-socialism

Obama as birther mastermind was such a convoluted explanation, it reminded me of the above. The only thing one can take from these arguments is that everything bad is thrown at the president with no pause to see what sticks.

I think it is a hard road when folks like Glenn Beck try to find surveillance threats in the car trade-in program. When there’s a real surveillance apparatus already at work. You know, the one the Times has been reporting about for the last three years. The one that forced congress to vote to give the telcos immunity from the big bad ACLU.

I mean, other folks point out the problems with this administration with regards to civil rights, but the wingers can’t get behind those sane, sensible arguments because they come from the dreaded left. So they make up bullshit allegations about non-issues while real problems pass by. They’re not even a good opposition party, are they?
Darth Revan said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:24

Just Joe, I think the same principle applies to parody of fundamentalists. It can’t possibly be done: no matter how ridiculous you make them sound, they always manage to make themselves sound more ridiculous.
theperilouspea said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:27

Sanity Pennsylvania only a short fight from The Village Of Paradise , Lancaster County Pennsylvania , up .
Lawnguylander said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:29

You can see how they’re reacting by reading the comments to the linked Human Events article. There are quite a few but one theme I noticed is that they’re suddenly not so sure she’s a woman.
N__B said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:32

Sanity Pennsylvania only a short fight from The Village Of Paradise , Lancaster County Pennsylvania

Hmmm. Which PA town that I’ve never heard of is home to the Lizzies?
El Cid said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:35

Just Joe, I think the same principle applies to parody of fundamentalists. It can’t possibly be done: no matter how ridiculous you make them sound, they always manage to make themselves sound more ridiculous.

The fundies view it as a battle of honor, one worthy of great sacrifice.
owlbear1 said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:37

I really, really, REALLY want to see how the birthers react to being called left-wing.

They become ardent Ron Paul voters.

Well, the ones that weren’t already…
theperilouspea said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:41

Holyhead ?
address my envelope, lips! said,

August 6, 2009 at 14:50

This – this is what happens when you confuse laundry soap with cocaine and snort the former, while attempting to wash your clothes with the latter.

Expensive dirty laundry and a massive headache.

(Nose bubbles optional.)
El Cid said,

August 6, 2009 at 15:16

Uh-oh spaghetti-O! Looks like somebody at Alternet got a little tired of the Atlantic Monthly‘s McArdle subsidizing!

Anti-Government Ideologue Megan McArdle’s Amnesia About Her Privileged, Govt.-Funded Upbringing

By Mark Ames, AlterNet. Posted August 6, 2009.

The “libertarian” Atlantic Monthly writer rails against public health care, yet her family trusted government enough to make them rich.

Last week, McArdle posted an encyclopedia-length article on the Atlantic Monthly’s site, denouncing Obama’s health care plan in a rambling piece that essentially boiled down to this: big government is a bad thing, and free markets are the medicine you need, even if you don’t like it, and even though you can’t afford it. McArdle’s post sparked a series of smackdowns, including Ezra Klein in the Washington Post, and Jane Hamsher at Firedoglake.

What Megan McArdle doesn’t mention is that her own privileged upbringing was funded by public money. That’s right, Megan McArdle is just a second-generation product of the sleazy NYC construction business, which has been using public money for private gain since the Tammany Hall era. Even more galling is that Megan’s father got his start in the public sector working in taxpayer-funded health care programs. If it weren’t for her father’s employment as a public health care official in the 1970s, Megan McArdle’s life might have turned out completely different from the privileged one she enjoyed.
Megan McArdle is the daughter of one Francis X. McArdle, who built his career as a public servant in the New York City administration, then moved over to the private side, where he could leverage his contacts with the government — and finally moved back onto the public payroll in 2006, when Mr. McArdle was appointed by then-Sen. Hillary Clinton to advise the federal government how public funds should be spent, and on whom. Earlier this year, Mr. McArdle was reportedly in Albany lobbying the New York state government for a job as the “stimulus czar,” appropriating President Obama’s federal spending money.
Megan was born in 1973, a few years after Francis got his big fat job on the public payroll in the New York City administration, where he stayed for 11 years. Among the first big jobs Megan’s daddy took while climbing up the public payroll career ladder were jobs as Inspector General for the New York City Health and Hospitals Corporation, and Director of Program Budget for the New York City Health and Hospitals Corporation.

So Megan McArdle’s entry into this world was literally greased by taxpayer funds. But of course, it wouldn’t stop there.
Francis McArdle, rose up the Big Government ranks in the New York city. His public-funded career reached its peak in 1978 when then-Mayor Ed Koch named him as Commissioner of the New York City Department of Environmental Protection, where he served until 1981. That job put McArdle in control of all sorts of public works: water supply, waste water, sewage infrastructure. It’s kind of fitting that McArdle’s privileged childhood was funded by taxpayer’s shit and urine — a Freudian might say that this is the source of her inexplicable hatred of the same Big Government that pissed dollars and shat gold on the McArdle household.
Megan’s dad moved from the public sector overseeing public works to a job with real estate developer Olympia & York — just in time to take advantage of the huge Battery Park City project that Olympia & York was developing under contract. The success of the project relied on huge taxpayer subsidies — at least $65 million in 1981 dollars — as well as major public works projects to make the development attractive, including the disastrous Westway road project, which drained at least $85 million of federal subsidies until it was finally mothballed in the mid-80s, due to environmental concerns and public protests — the kinds of protesters whom grown-up Megan McArdle would later attack. No matter, though, because by the time the Westway was canceled and all that public money was wasted, Olympia & York, Megan’s daddy’s company, had catapulted into one of the top real estate moguls in the world, and Megan’s daddy was ready to move on to even bigger things.

In 1985, F. X. McArdle had moved from the private sector to a position that Megan understands better than any other: a lobbyist who manipulates Big Government on behalf of private companies. Francis X. McArdle was named to head the General Contractor’s Association of New York. He stayed in that lucrative position for the next 20 years.
In 1987, as the budding libertarian Megan was enjoying an expensive private-school education, McArdle’s business was investigated by a new Organized Crime Task Force set up by the state of New York to combat the mob’s control of the contracting business, which led to enormous waste of taxpayer money. Here’s a New York Times article on that investigation, featuring Megan’s dad representing the scary people:

Anti-Crime Unit Urged for New York Builders
by Selwyn Raab — Tuesday, January 6, 1987
Corruption is so embedded in New York City’s multibillion-dollar construction industry that a permanent investigative agency may be needed specifically to uproot it, a top state investigator said. The investigator, Ronald Goldstock, director of the state’s Organized Crime Task Force, also asserted that construction practices in the city must change. Mr. Goldstock, whose agency is investigating the industry, said the elimination of organized-crime racketeering would not alone solve such problems as payoffs to municipal inspectors, bid-rigging among contractors and bribes to union officials for special contract favors and the hiring of lower-paid nonunion workers. ‘Even if you indict and convict every mobster involved in corruption,” Mr. Goldstock said in an interview, ”under current conditions, someone else will come along, recognize the potential and become the new predators.”

Commenting on Mr. Goldstock’s findings, the managing director of the General Contractors Association, Francis X. McArdle, said he was ”unaware of any pervasive patterns of corruption” regarding his group. The association represents more than 100 contractors primarily engaged in construction of public buildings and plants.
Mr. McArdle also disputed the need for a new investigative agency. ”We don’t need more people tripping over each other in search of glory, facts or whatever,” he said.

What’s frightening is that Mr. McArdle won the day: the new investigative agency was shelved in favor of the kind of self-policing “solution” that Wall Street is pushing for today. Because you know, those big government inspectors with their fact-finding missions only get in the way of innovation!

Here’s where things get a little scarier: the story about the mob running Megan’s daddy’s area of work shortly afterwards became the subject of a Fortune magazine feature, replete with famous names from New York’s organized crime world, titled: “THE MAFIA’S BIT OF THE BIG APPLE: Byzantine building codes and horrendous logistics help the mob control New York City construction — at a price that the big developers have been all too willing to pay.”……

…Her answer to 9/11 and all subsequent economic problems, including the health care fiasco, is simple: more free markets of the sort that have absolutely nothing to do with her own family’s way of making a living. And the gullible readers of her blog were so impressed that Megan moved to Washington and found work with the Atlantic Monthly, shilling for Wall Street, health care firms, and spending her entire career arguing for the total repeal of all corporate taxes. Washington is also where she found her dream man, Peter Suderman, a former FreedomWorks lobbyist. It was a natural match; like Megan, Suderman was a veteran of the deeply hypocritical world of free-market shills who make their money playing the murky world where big government and big business overlap. As part of his anti-government crusading for FreedomWorks, Suderman once helped run a fake-grassroots campaign, creating a front group, Angryrenter.com, that posed as regular joes fighting big government programs to bailout distressed homeowners. The real backers were the corporations who fund FreedomWorks — they didn’t want to have a dime of their tax dollars going to help out poor suckered American homeowners who needed some help to avoid getting thrown out on the street. Suderman’s scam, pretending that the anger came from regular joe renters and not billionaires, was so sleazy that it was exposed by another rightwing publication, the Wall Street Journal.

This didn’t bother Megan, because her employer, the Atlantic Monthly, has already been outed as the very embodiment of corruption, the journalism world’s equivalent of the General Contractors Association. Thanks to TalkingPointsMemo, we know of at least 100 instances in which the Atlantic Monthly allowed interest groups, including health care companies, to pay large sums in order to gain access to the magazine’s editorial staff…

But, but, but… um, James Fallows is awesome!
roast beef kazenzakis said,

August 6, 2009 at 15:26

My guess is the Vault Copy is hidden one of those crags on Atlas Juggs’ leather-tanned face. Or under Ann’s turkeyflap.

Seroiusly, “ladies”, so vain as to pay for plastic tits but not so vain as not to look like an old baseball glove with eyes?
Peter Gabriel said,

August 6, 2009 at 15:27

I always wondered what the current right-wing perspective on Iran-Contra was (the details I mean, I can guess at the broad outline). But I’m not curious enough to click on that.
Lunch Lady said,

August 6, 2009 at 15:35

Learn to love your beans baked, kid.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,

August 6, 2009 at 15:42

Found the smoking gun at the White House Web site!!
Citizen_X said,

August 6, 2009 at 15:54

Please tell me that’s not the actual title of her piece. Because I do not want to give in to the voice of temptation. Must…not…click on…link…NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Pere Ubu said,

August 6, 2009 at 15:56

a 2007 Rasmussen poll showed that 35 percent of Democrats believe Bush knew about the 9/11 attacks in advance

Cripes, did we fucking hallucinate the August 6th PDB and Dumbya’s month-long vacation after receiving it?

Oh, and John Bolton is all pissed off Clinton got those reporters released – something about how it’ll encourage other cartoonish dictators to seize Americans so the Big Dog can go grovel at their feet in America’s name. And of course the wringnuts continue to be classy, with insinuations that Clinton had sex with them on the way home. ‘Cause they’re WOMEN! He can’t HELP IT!

*sigh*
Pere Ubu said,

August 6, 2009 at 15:57

Please tell me that’s not the actual title of her piece.

Sadly, Yes.
actor212 said,

August 6, 2009 at 16:14

Coulter, Gellar and Malkin in the same screen….BLECH!
JM said,

August 6, 2009 at 16:33

I wonder how Crack Whore Coulter will be explaining these guys away in a few weeks.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

August 6, 2009 at 16:43

Wingers, Come out to plaaayyyyaaayyyyaayyyy!
Michael G. said,

August 6, 2009 at 16:43

Looking at those faces again, I get the unsettling impression that they are just wax masks attached to the exoskeletons of some sort of hideous insectoid heads. I mean, that much plastic surgery, tanning, make-up, and haircare product tip the face from human off into the uncanny valley.
The Goddamn Batman Has Not Seen Such A Gathering Of Female Evil Since Harley Quinn And Poison Ivy, And Harley & Ivy Are Way Cuter said,

August 6, 2009 at 16:44

Really, Coulter’s rant seems to be pretty much in line with Pantload’s: it has to be a left-wing plot because Democrats have all the crazy conspiracy theorists. You know, like the ones that believe in Watergate, Iran-Contra… oh, wait.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,

August 6, 2009 at 16:46

wingnut cougar lesbian sex scene?

ZOMBEE NOT WANT.
kingubu said,

August 6, 2009 at 16:47

Coulter, Gellar and Malkin in the same screen…

BREAKING NEWS: New Thane of Cawdor Named.
Till said,

August 6, 2009 at 16:50

I thought Henry Tudor would be better looking.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

August 6, 2009 at 16:54

…just wax masks attached to the exoskeletons of some sort of hideous insectoid heads.

We… too were kidding.
actor212 said,

August 6, 2009 at 16:57

I mean, that much plastic surgery, tanning, make-up, and haircare product tip the face from human off into the uncanny valley.

OHMYGOD!

They’re exchanging long protein strings as we watch!!!!

Also.
Michael G. said,

August 6, 2009 at 16:57

We… too were kidding

I love that one! Yes, that’s the image I had in my hind.
Doctor Missus Marita said,

August 6, 2009 at 17:28

We should all want to have Gavin’s children.

I want to have Gavin’s children!
actor212 said,

August 6, 2009 at 17:31

We should all want to have Gavin’s children.

I want to have Gavin’s children!

We were thinking in a white wine sauce, tho.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,

August 6, 2009 at 17:32

actor, not aware you are a member of the Zombie Front.
Michael G. said,

August 6, 2009 at 17:35

You don’t have to be a zombie to appreciate the delicate flavor of infant.

http://www.marriedtothesea.com/031307/crisp-up.gif
Stag Party Palin said,

August 6, 2009 at 17:37

“Coulter, Gellar and Malkin in the same screen…

BREAKING NEWS: New Thane of Cawdor Named.”

Oh snap! Definite win. Stay tuned for the next episode of Three’s Bad Company, as

Good things of day begin to droop and drowse,
Whiles night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
Doctor Missus Marita said,

August 6, 2009 at 17:40

You all stay away from little Studie. I’m a big scary amazon lady who can do unholy things with a goalie stick.
cowalker said,

August 6, 2009 at 17:57

at 14:23 Michael G. said,

Obama as birther mastermind was such a convoluted explanation, it reminded me of the above [Obama-Joker-Socialism poster.] The only thing one can take from these arguments is that everything bad is thrown at the president with no pause to see what sticks.

I was arguing about this at American Spectator yesterday, hoping the site would function as a microcosm of winger “thought.” It did. To put it mildly, they are confused.
http://spectator.org/blog/2009/08/05/ridiculing-bush-cool-ridiculin

They claim they are emulating Saul Alinsky’s tactic of ridiculing the opponent. But the disturbing nature of the Heath-Ledger-as-Joker image conveys that Obama is a monster. Fight, fight, he’s completely evil, he’s going to create chaos and destroy everything! He is just like the Joker who was a sadistic nihilist and very good at it. And the reason we compare him to the Joker instead of Predator or Alien is because both Obama and the Joker had “difficult” childhoods, which made them what they are.

What about people who don’t believe Obama wants death and destruction rained down on America? What if they think he has good motives? What are they to make of this image? Well, they need to appreciate the ridicule, which is that ultimately the Joker is a pathetic loser, who is incompetent. They need to see the movie again if they don’t get it.

I thought that one commenter was on the right track when he suggested using an image of Two Face. I mean, all politicians are vulnerable to that accusation. But no, they loves them some whiteface drama!

Of course progressives did the same thing with Bush. Images ran the gamut from Bushitler and Bush with horns through Bush as chimp and GeorgeAlfred E. BushNeuman, and even Bush as the Joker! But I don’t recall any concerted effort to line up all the progressives behind one particular confused image. The right wingers think that if they all get behind this picture and get it out there, Obama will be ridiculed into oblivion, bless their hearts.

I guess there may have been a few progressives who were thinking that back in 2004, although I didn’t come across any.
actor212 said,

August 6, 2009 at 17:57

I’m a big scary amazon lady who can do unholy things with a goalie stick.

My hockey nickname was “The Barber of de Ville”. You don’t scare me!
Cyrus said,

August 6, 2009 at 17:57

Can you count, suckas? I say the future is ours if you can count!
actor212 said,

August 6, 2009 at 17:59

actor, not aware you are a member of the Zombie Front.

I’m not! I just like a tender roast.
Tommmcatt said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:14

But I don’t recall any concerted effort to line up all the progressives behind one particular confused image.

Look, if Sean Hannity told them to stand in line for a punch in the genitals and a poop sandwich, they’d do it. Hell, they’d ask for seconds,

The love to be in lines, you see.
Michael G. said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:22

cowalker said,

Of course progressives did the same thing with Bush. Images ran the gamut from Bushitler and Bush with horns through Bush as chimp and GeorgeAlfred E. BushNeuman, and even Bush as the Joker! But I don’t recall any concerted effort to line up all the progressives behind one particular confused image. The right wingers think that if they all get behind this picture and get it out there, Obama will be ridiculed into oblivion, bless their hearts.

Sure, but each image was attached to a related idea: Bush the Chimp was poking at his lack of intellectual weight. Bush as Hitler was poking at his faux-populism and war-starting, and so on. There were different takes on Bush, but the ones you cited were matched image-to-idea. Obama as Joker doesn’t jibe with Obama as socialist. They should use an image of Stalin or Mao or Lenin if they wanted to do this (yeah, yeah, wrong ism, but close enough for demagoguery in the States).

But I think you’re on to something with the white face… That could explain the appeal despite the mealy, confused message. I thought they went with it because (a) they resonate with failure and (b) they like to be ruled by authority, so they all had to pick the same image.
Ken Lowery said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:23

Also, you know, hundreds of thousands of people have died and millions more have been displaced due DIRECTLY to Bush’s actions.

That gives a little more heft to the cartoonish comparisons.
g said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:26

So now we know who’s behind the Obama birther conspiracy: Barack Hussein Obama, of course.

so, wait – Obama forced his mother to bear him in a foreign country and conspire to fake his birthcertificate because he knew he would run for President in 47 years and need a controversy like being accused of faking his birth certificate so he could paint his opponents as crazy?

The man’s a genius.
Joe Max said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:26

They’re exchanging long protein strings as we watch!!!!

If you can think of a simpler way, we’d like to hear it!

And always twirling, twirling, twirling toward freedom!
g said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:30

the other reason the right wing went with the lame Joker/Socialist image is their bone-headed copycatism.

Observe Hillary as a popular candidate for women? Copycat by nominating Palin, even though she’s an anti-Hillary in all but one respect.

Observe Obama as a popular black candidate? Copycat by elevating Michael Steele, who’s about as non-Obama as you can get.

Now their copycatism is extended to graphic arts. They haven’t got an original idea in their heads, so they have to resort to copycatting, even when they don’t have a clue what the thing is all about.
Not Looch who is never to return said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:32

“an old baseball glove with eyes…”

Laughed out loud at that one I did.
Ken Lowery said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:34

the other reason the right wing went with the lame Joker/Socialist image is their bone-headed copycatism.

Indeed. There is no trend they will not latch onto a year later.
Ted the Slacker said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:38

Jon Stewart, the other night on the wingnut crazies, showed a Hannity clip where he had Obama talking against a Carmina Burana soundtrack. No attempt to make any sort of argument, just scary music and the black dude makin’ speeches.

The joker-poster is of the identical genre, just a montage of scary for stupid white people.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:41

They haven’t got an original idea in their heads, so they have to resort to copycatting, even when they don’t have a clue what the thing is all about.

Bingo. I call it political cargo-cultism.

Though that’s not very fair to the real cargo cultists, who had specific aims in mind and every reason to believe that their rituals would work, as far as they knew.
jim said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:47

ANNIE KOULTUR IZ AN A-1 SKOLER FOR SHURE!!1!!!3minus2!

Yeah, Ann, Larry Johnson’s a bona-fide leftist, alrighty – why, his latest recommended reading material is endorsed by none other than that famous Stalinist himself, Pat “Gosh, That Horst Wessel Song Sure Was A Catchy Little Tune, Huh?” Buchanan – & he has the courage to take on the “self-righteous” Rachel Maddow for the cardinal sin of calling GOP thuggery “GOP thuggery” … & besides, she backs up her schtick with those pesky fact-things, not like the good wholesome corporate-salad-tossing that REAL journalists like Joe “Dead Intern? WHAT Dead Intern?” Scarborough do.

Of course, the Birtherites being led by an obvious socialist like Orly “Ask Me About My Ronald Reagan Tattoo” Taitz only serves to strengthen Coulter’s point.

I just wonder who she plagiarized THIS piece from?
Not Looch who is never to return said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:49

They haven’t got an original idea in their heads, so they have to resort to copycatting, even when they don’t have a clue what the thing is all about.

And, this lack of original ideas leaves vast open quadrants of space to be filled with all those lovely projections. Revealing those, in a “if the brown shirt fits…” kinda way.
cowalker said,

August 6, 2009 at 18:50

at 18:22 Michael G. said,

But I think you’re on to something with the white face… That could explain the appeal despite the mealy, confused message. I thought they went with it because (a) they resonate with failure and (b) they like to be ruled by authority, so they all had to pick the same image.

Oh, I couldn’t even begin to grapple with the label “Socialism” associated with the Joker. I just wondered what the visual alone meant to wingers. I conclude from the confused explanations that it means something very private and not a million miles away from the concept of “scary black man pretending to be white.” They expect it to catch on in a country where white voters will soon no longer be a majority, if they even are now.

at 18:14 Tommmcatt said

Look, if Sean Hannity told them to stand in line for a punch in the genitals and a poop sandwich, they’d do it. Hell, they’d ask for seconds,

The love to be in lines, you see.

That is so true. It’s hysterical to see them being told this movie-derived image is the answer to elected authority. And they’re so sure liberals are in a rage about it.

Please, wingers, nothing makes me angrier than hearing that Orly Taitz is a many-talented Truth Bearer. Tell me again, on national television.
Tata said,

August 6, 2009 at 19:03

BREAKING NEWS: New Thane of Cawdor Named.

In Health & Beauty news: Japanese detox patches remove guilt, redness.
tigrismus said,

August 6, 2009 at 19:03

Wow, what a picture: it’s very unusual to find a lame-ia and a suck-ubus together.
roast beef kazenzakis said,

August 6, 2009 at 19:09

I’m not sure I get why Obama is the Joker. The Heath L. Joker wasn’t attempting to con the people of Gotham into loving and obeying him, as they feel Obama is doing. The Nicholson Joker did that, sure, but there was nothin populist or socialist about the Heath L. Joker.

It’s like they just picked a villain from a movie and slapped a label on it without having seen the movie.

Next up, a picture of Obama as The Hulk with the word “vegan” under it. Because vegans are bad and the Hulk is green, and arugula is green, and the Hulk is related to the Jolly Green Giant, so OBVIOUSLY Obama wants to make arugula-chomping veganism LAW. And you remember how the Hulk forced the citizens to be vegans in that movie until that nice white pride boy from American History X stopped him.
roast beef kazenzakis said,

August 6, 2009 at 19:12

Oh, and it just hit me, Ann and Pammycakes are leaning in close in that pic to all get in the shot with the couch behind ‘em. It’s a great big leatheriness contest. Emceed by George Hamilton and Zonker Harris.
Michael G. said,

August 6, 2009 at 19:17

Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said …

Yeah, the cargo cult explanation does a good job describing whole classes of winger actions.

Though that’s not very fair to the real cargo cultists, who had specific aims in mind and every reason to believe that their rituals would work, as far as they knew.

That’s a winner! I think the current cargo-cultism comes from a bad, bad psychological place. The winger has been wrong his whole life, and life has never hesitated to point that out. But rather than reform — oh, no, never change your mind! — the winger retreats to an opposite-world fantasy where all of the logical arguments are on their side.
Michael G. said,

August 6, 2009 at 19:21

Next up, a picture of Obama as The Hulk with the word “vegan” under it. Because vegans are bad and the Hulk is green, and arugula is green, and the Hulk is related to the Jolly Green Giant, so OBVIOUSLY Obama wants to make arugula-chomping veganism LAW. And you remember how the Hulk forced the citizens to be vegans in that movie until that nice white pride boy from American History X stopped him.

Nah, too much of a connection between the hulk and veganism. If you can get there in one logical step, it’s too well constructed for a winger message.

Wow, what a picture: it’s very unusual to find a lame-ia and a suck-ubus together.

Wait, wait! I want to join in on the D&D nerd jokes too… What’s with all the naga-hide? Get it? Where is everyone going?
Tommmcatt said,

August 6, 2009 at 19:22

Pam’s botox has made her skin resemble silly-putty. You could probably roll her head over a “Garfield” cartoon and be able to appreciate the fine brushstrokes and nuanced artwork on her forehead for hours afterward.
tigrismus said,

August 6, 2009 at 19:38

Of course progressives did the same thing with Bush. Images ran the gamut from Bushitler and Bush with horns through Bush as chimp and GeorgeAlfred E. BushNeuman, and even Bush as the Joker!

Well, yeah, but the Joker image was done after almost 8 years of bad presidentin’(it also wasn’t a completely sucky rip-off piece of crap like the awful photoshopped Obama one is), and the Bush-Hitler stuff was in response to stuff he actually did, like warrantless wiretapping, habeas corpus, etc. I don’t remember anybody doing anything like the Joker image quite this early; it’s possible there were some Alfred E. or monkey jokes based on his appearance, but none of the ascribing dark, evil motives until there was some reason for it.
tigrismus said,

August 6, 2009 at 19:39

I want to join in on the D&D nerd jokes too

D&D nothing, that was a Clark Aston Smith nerd joke.
tigrismus said,

August 6, 2009 at 19:40

Or Ashton. Either way, suit yourself.
Substance McGravitas said,

August 6, 2009 at 19:47

D&D nothing, that was a Clark Aston Smith nerd joke.

For some fucking reason I am spending time editing a list of such creatures for JanusNode to chew on.
Pere Ubu said,

August 6, 2009 at 19:57

Pammycakes = Atlatch-Nutsa

Or we could just call her “Mounts Voormithadreth”.

You could also call the above pic “The White Worm and The Ice Demon”.

Mistress of the Crabs?

Dammit, you guys WOULD do this on the day I left my new copy of “Hyperborea” home. Pfuagh.
tigrismus said,

August 6, 2009 at 20:03

I couldn’t even begin to grapple with the label “Socialism” associated with the Joker.

No kidding, it’s a little kitchen sink, isn’t it?
tigrismus said,

August 6, 2009 at 20:03

Pee Ess I love youse guys!
Major Kong said,

August 6, 2009 at 20:25

“Wingnut twin powers activate!”
Not Looch who is never to return said,

August 6, 2009 at 20:45

Went over to Human Events and read some of the 1245 comments concerning Ann and the birthers. It was amazing how they almost all have turned on her, and done so with such venom. These Wingnut cheerleaders and their relationship with “the base” reminds me of this quote:

“Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry.”

Looks like Ann didn’t stick the dismount. And Jonah is very, very frightened at the prospect of having to attempt one.
illumninati Repton said,

August 6, 2009 at 20:46

Hey, Substance:

http://www.d20srd.org/indexes/monsters.htm

This will get you started.
moreweight said,

August 6, 2009 at 21:00

That photo looks WAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY too much like the cover of Freaky Lesbo MILF Psychos 26: The Analing.

Jus’ sayin.’
Substance McGravitas said,

August 6, 2009 at 21:04

This will get you started.

I’ve found an Excel file of every D&D monster ever listed and I’m chopping it down.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

August 6, 2009 at 21:04

Jonah is very, very frightened at the prospect of having to attempt one.

How can you tell? I mean, he’s always the Pantload, right?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

August 6, 2009 at 21:17

…and I’m chopping it down.

Then these are probably already covered. Besides the good stuff is in the descriptor text, which would be harder to scavenge.
Substance McGravitas said,

August 6, 2009 at 21:19

Besides the good stuff is in the descriptor text, which would be harder to scavenge.

The good stuff is the drawing of the succubus, which JanusNode will not reproduce.
henry lewis said,

August 6, 2009 at 21:23

Coulter, Gellar and Malkin in the same screen

If they were a country-music act:

Girl Haggard and the Derangers
Not Looch who is never to return said,

August 6, 2009 at 21:28

How can you tell? I mean, he’s always the Pantload, right?

True. They call me Mr. Obvious.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

August 6, 2009 at 21:56

The good stuff is the drawing of the succubus

WTF?! They slipped hawt ASCII art into nethack when I wasn’t looking? Oh, wait – you mean DnD Monstro Manuelos.

No I meant stuff like:

Of all the monsters put together by the Greek imagination the Centaurs (Kentauroi) constituted a class in themselves. Despite a strong streak of sensuality, in their make-up, their normal behaviour was moral, and they took a kindly thought of man’s welfare. The attempted outrage of Nessos on Deianeira, and that of the whole tribe of Centaurs on the Lapith women, are more than offset by the hospitality of Pholos and by the wisdom of Cheiron, physician, prophet, lyrist, and the instructor of Achilles.
jim said,

August 6, 2009 at 22:13

Went over to Human Events and read some of the 1245 comments concerning Ann and the birthers. It was amazing how they almost all have turned on her, and done so with such venom.

Live by the stupid, die by the stupid … & Coulter IS the Jesse Owens of the DUHcathlon.

It’s only fitting that her own fanboys succeed at doing what the left failed to do: turn her into the next 2-6 AM Substitute Show-Girl on the 24-Hour Home Shopping Network.
Duros62 said,

August 6, 2009 at 22:59

Re: the picture.

Who here watches rescue me? It’s like evil Janet and Sheila.
Duros62 said,

August 6, 2009 at 23:00

The good stuff is the drawing of the succubus, which JanusNode will not reproduce.

My JanusNode is gathering dust.
AJ said,

August 6, 2009 at 23:22

I don’t remember anybody doing anything like the Joker image quite this early; it’s possible there were some Alfred E. or monkey jokes based on his appearance, but none of the ascribing dark, evil motives until there was some reason for it.

Reason for it… like… stealing the 2000 election?

We lambasted him from the start because he was godawful from the start.
Duros62 said,

August 6, 2009 at 23:24

I’m a big scary amazon lady who can do unholy things with a goalie stick.

Oh, you big tease!
Jennifer said,

August 7, 2009 at 0:14

Ah, a nice photo of the founders of S.K.A.N.K.S. – “Sisterhood of the Klan Against Negroid Kenyan Socialists.”
Ayatollah Hominy said,

August 7, 2009 at 0:55

35 percent of Democrats believe Bush knew about the 9/11 attacks in advance, while 26 percent aren’t sure …

Someone didn’t get the memo. The question is, what did the president not know and when did he not know it? And if not, why didn’t somebody read it to him?

And I don’t really know about Mumia’s guilt or innocence, but it should strike people as a bit odd when the main witnesses are paid police informers. Just sayin’.
Doctorb said,

August 7, 2009 at 0:59

Actually it’s kind of clever. I could really see how this would work as a Karl Rovian bad jacketing of potentially damaging information.

I mean, not that I think it is, but it would be brilliant if it were.
Simba B said,

August 7, 2009 at 1:14

Gavin posts! And more than one too! Is it, uh, safe to come back yet?
Djur said,

August 7, 2009 at 1:15

One of the things reading the NetHack monster manual reminded me of, one of my favorite things about that game, is the reason that the Astral Plane has only Pestilence, Famine, and Death of the three horsemen.

It’s stated explicitly in the source, but it’s also hinted at when you try to talk to one of the Horsemen: “Who do you think you are, War?”

Considering that by this point the player is usually a levitating, teleporting kill-freak capable of taking a blast of disintegration breath at point blank (G|BDSM 4evar) with some sort of absurdly enchanted weapon and resistance or immunity to most damage types, not to mention upwards of a thousand slain monsters under his or her belt…

well, I know how to read that question.

I’m going to go eat a tin of leprechaun now.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,

August 7, 2009 at 1:43

I’m going to go eat a tin of leprechaun now.

Is THAT what the kids are callin….. oh hell, I give up.
Djur said,

August 7, 2009 at 1:52

It smells like the Wizard of Yendor! Eat it [y/N]? y
You consume homemade Wizard of Yendor.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

August 7, 2009 at 2:13

Djur, you must have the worst case of teleportitis EVAR.

GDSM is nice, but SDSM and a CoMR lets you save the amulet slot for an AoLS.

Wish #1 is almost always +2 blessed fireproof boots of speed.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

August 7, 2009 at 2:42

Considering that by this point the player is usually a levitating, teleporting kill-freak capable of taking a blast of disintegration breath at point blank (G|BDSM 4evar) with some sort of absurdly enchanted weapon and resistance or immunity to most damage types, not to mention upwards of a thousand slain monsters under his or her belt…

When your character gets killed by a flumph, I’m gonna LAFF!!!!1!!!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

August 7, 2009 at 3:22

You hit Archon for 37 points of damage.
Archon dies.
flumph hits you for 2 points of damage.
You die.
Would you like to scream about the unfairness of it all now? (y or y)
Clam Afterbirth said,

August 7, 2009 at 3:34

Best shorter ever. Now over to you, Dave.

The, Uh, Warriors Did It

115 Comments »

Leave a Comment

Search & Find

Adz Networkz

Paying bills

Hall of Flame

Things of Interest

GavRoll

HTML Roll

SebRoll

TravRoll

Meta Goodness

Clunkers