You know what would really perfect these vastly different columns? If they both began with “the fact is”.

VD Hansonus’s version seems to have disappeared. No listing of it in his archive search either. hmmm.

Oh that monkey is going to pay?

The VDH post has mysteriously disappeared. You see what happens when you fire K-Lo as editor? Huh?? Huh???

You see what happens when you fire K-Lo as editor?

You mean other people are allowed to steal posts now, not just K-Lo?

Jonah and K-Lo, sitting in a tree
Pretending to be VDH and Heather MacD…

Dammit, I should have done a screen shot …

Now hold on; they’re just doing what they were trained to do as college students under the unGodly brainwashing of the Liberal College Elite College Liberals. That is, to simply copy down what somebody else wrote and put your name on it and get an “A”. It’s not their fault. I blame Liberal Marxist Humanist Socialist Fascist Society.

And, of course, America’s Shittiest Website™ has asked Google not to cache their pages. . . Now we know why.

Yes, kid. I’m sorry to say Edna’s hitting the spice cake again.

Joe the Copper, a latest wingnut cause celebre’. An authoritarian lying sack D. W. B. demanding “respect of its ‘authority'”. Endless opportunity for Douchebags Without Badges to engage in their “civics lessons” about the capricious police state the lesser classes should suffer under to ensure their justified condition of privilege as oligarch wanna-bees.

Non-stop amusement from the stream of consciousness horsecrap crowd over the “unfortunate” statements of Mohammed Blackamoor O’Bama, King of Kenya and “nirth certificate” forger.

Rounding out some omissions in the spot on target evaluation of the actions and statements of the flower of the CPD: they were not only “stupid” but “abusive”, “unfounded”, “baseless”, “abusive of authority”, “irresponsible”, “illegal” and best of all “unconstitutional”.

Fortunately, this isn’t indication of the failure of our Democratic experiment: the delightful Comedy we act out has always been this stupid.

I vote that we rename him Venereal Disease Hanson.

The fact is, Barack Obama has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good man, and that was confirmed in the phone conversation — and I told him that,” Obama said in his Friday press briefing.

Bookmark this, libs. Barack Obama has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good man, and that was confirmed in the phone conversation — and I told him that,” Obama said in his Friday press briefing.

HEH: “Barack Obama has reached down to a lowly (though no longer ‘stupid’) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean: ‘And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good man, and that was confirmed in the phone conversation — and I told him that,’ Obama said in his Friday press briefing.”

Read the whole thing.

Oh dear, the elusive Corner yellow-breasted doublepost. It was sighted/cited/sited elsewhere this morning, including:

http://dyspepsiageneration.com/?p=25984
http://www.lucianne.com/thread/?artnum=484326
http://content.usatoday.com/topics/article/Places,+Geography/Towns,+Cities,+Counties/Cambridge/034p8gS8l68hm/1
http://pajamasmedia.com/eddriscoll/

Early birds and worms, Mr. Aristophanes.

If the wingnuts would just write one article and put everyone’s name on it, it would save a lot of reading time and provides the exact same amount of value.

But really, I should have known … it’s not faux-classicist enough for VDH, plus no gratuitous references to Leonidas and Sherman’s March.

I think they’re attempting to make a statement to the effect that originality and intellectual property are elitist.

Darth Revan: I think they’re just fuck-ups.

So much Corner, so little time. Vintage Dough from yesterday:

Poppy golfed, Junior stopped golfing and now Obama golfs. My point? Double-standards, it’s central to my point.

I’ll do you one better Tom, all of the wingnutosphere could host a single page w/ the words “We’re Cranky!” along the top followed by a list of all the wingnut bloggers.

Exact same information gained from it, a lot less time spent reading it, writing it and much cheaper server bills.

Only downside would be the rest of us miss out on their unintended hilarity. Is it worth it for a net w/o winguts?

Here’s a horrifying possibility. Since all of the other Cornerdomites were off on their summer cruise, Victor and Heather have been busy making the two-backed beast. This morning she logged onto his computer and, without realizing it, posted under Victor’s account. When she logged on from home, she realized her mistake, and posted this nonsense under her name. She then tried to call Victor to have him take down the post under his name, but Victor, in a post-coital glow, was asleep. Finally, she tracked down Rich Lowry and had him take down the post. In order not to reveal the hanky-panky, she accused Victor of plagiarism.

Gary Ruppert: “Satan Mohamed Karl Marx Lucifer Obammy has been forced to bow before the outpouring of our wingnutty whiny-assed-titty-babiedness! The sweet fragrance of victory wafts from his admission thet Officer Stupid was only being stupid in this particular instance and that it might not reflect on his behavior in general while on duty.”

The. Truth: “What douchebag quoted douchebag as saying somebody else had said! In your face libtard trators!”

The Chorus: “All bow before our God given right to be douchebags.”

….Proving once again the inability of Hansonites to plumb the depths of Greek tragedy…

Make me wonder who it it that is actually creating the wingnut welfare column “seeds” upon which all these things are based. Clearly this happening more than once before, and with different sets of conserva-teat sucklers, suggests a central repository of wingnuttiness that provides them with a rota of helpful prose snippets. Either that, or they are all craven plagiarists, and that can’t be it, can it? (Couldn’t be – they’re the moral ones, afterall.)

Maybe someone with more time and inclination and powerful plagiarist identifying software that I just made up could do a data grind on all the wingnuttery and find if there is a nexus to everything they write, a “4-way time cube” of conservatism, if you will.

Here’s a horrifying possibility. Since all of the other Cornerdomites were off on their summer cruise, Victor and Heather have been busy making the two-backed beast.

Unrealistic. Now, if you said they were making the two-fronted beast, I might believe it.

Victor and Heather have been busy making the two-backed beast.

Oh, no. That would be like Luke and Princess Leia doing it.

I just like saying “empyrean”.

empyreanempyreanempyreanempyrean

It would be fun to see a list of the definitions these various DBs would come up with if you pointed guns at their heads and demanded that they define the word, “empyrean”.

powerful plagiarist identifying software that I just made up could do a data grind on all the wingnuttery and find if there is a nexus to everything they write

The problem is, how do you tell the difference between plagiarism and not having an original thought of your own? If everybody reads the same 2 or 3 sources every day and doesn’t think real hard, they’re going to end up with similar results, and they tend to especially glom on to each others’ phrases. Lately everything is somebody’s “Waterloo”. In both 2004 and 2008, there was a sudden wave of calls for various Democrats to denounce various things that swept across the wingnutosphere like pink eye at an NRO cruise. Etc.

It’s awful charitable to call it stealing when somebody’s clearly not bright enough to realize they’re doing it.

if you pointed guns at their heads and demanded that they define the word, “empyrean”

“What Microsoft Word suggests as a synonym for ‘awesome’.”

After VDH’s column was deleted, was it replaced by another one with the same name? Because while I could easily see how simple error would result in the “Big Bedfellows” farce (lord, and how apropos that column’s name was), the only excuse I can make for this involves lazy copypasting and would require VDH to have written an actual different column with that name.

So who actually wrote the piece? Some drone at one of the Olin or Scaife-funded wingnutteries?

Oh, no. That would be like Luke and Princess Leia doing it.

Please, no more of this.

Darth Revan: I think they’re just fuck-ups.

True that – high-school students have been put on academic probation or suspended for less.

Coming up: DoughLoad posts a sneering and devastating smackdown of all the socialist bloglodytes who caught the Corner’s error because they actually keep up with accuracy and stuff.

I just like saying “empyrean”.

empyreanempyreanempyreanempyrean

“WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

Yep, I got the reference. Watterson forever!

Wuzzua-wuzzup, loony libs? The Obummer has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good man, and that was confirmed in the phone conversation — and I told him that,” Obama said in his Friday press briefing.

The leader of the Obots has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) proud Reagan Democrat cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good man, and that was confirmed in the phone conversation — and I told him that,” your Hillary-hating messiah said in his Friday press briefing, as we all marched away from him in 2012.

Speaking of Doughbob:

Barack Obama has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [can someone look up the cop’s name? I would but I’m awful busy and my Intertrons is all clogged with ghey pr0n] was that he was an outstanding police officer, hey you gonna eat that sammich?

Recently on The Factor:

Barack Obama has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good man, and that was confirmed when he brought me some more motherfucking iced tea.”

Last dispatch from Idiot America, Alaska division:

“Alaskans need to really stick together…Stiffen your spine to do what’s right for Alaska when the pressure mounts because you’re going to see anti-hunting, anti-second amendment circuses from Hollywood… They use these delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets, they use Alaska as a fundraising tool for their anti-second amendment causes. Stand strong and remind them (that) patriots will protect our individual guaranteed right to bear arms. And by the way, Hollywood needs to know: We eat, therefore we hunt.”

K-Lo too:

Barack Obama reaching not upwards, dowwards lowly (though no “stupid” continuing) cop and upwards him to presidential empyrean…

TEH FUCHING FERRETS HAVE REACHED DOWN TO A LOWELY (THOUGH NO LONGER “STOOPID”) COP AND RAISED HIM UP TO THE FERRETS EMPIERYEAN: “AND WE HAVE TOO TELL YOU THAT, AS WE SAID YESTARDAY, OUR IMPRESION OF [Sgt. James Crowley] WAS THAT HE WAS AN OUSTANDING POLISE OSSIFER AND A GOOD MAN, AND THAT WAS CONFORMED WHEN WE GANAWED HIS FUCHING FACE OFF,” THE FERRETS SAID AS THEY CONVERETED THE PRESS BRIEFING INTO SHISKABAWBES.

Look Dorothy! The Witch is writing something in the sky!

B-a-r-a-c-k O-b-a-m-a h-a-s r-e-a-c-h-e-d d-o-w-n t-o a l-o-w-l-y (-t-h-o-u-g-h n–o l-o-n-g-e—r “-s-t-u-p-i-d-”-) c-o-p a-n-d r-a-i-s-e-d h-i-m u-p t-o t-h-e p-r-e-s-i-d-e-n-t-i-a-l e-m-p-y-r-e-a-n-:-S-o S-u-r-r-e-n-d-e-r D-o-r-o-t-h-y-!

Sarah Palin reached into her lowly (and entirely stoopid) vocabulary, and raised herself up to the presidential empyean: “And I have to tell ya, as I said yesterday, also, that they use these delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets, they use Alaska as a fundraising tool for their anti-second amendment causes, and such like. And also, too, by the way, Hollywood needs to know: We eat, therefore we hunt.”

I’ll do you one better Tom, all of the wingnutosphere could host a single page w/ the words “We’re Cranky!” along the top followed by a list of all the wingnut bloggers.

Oh! The Project for a New American Century!

Sadly No™ has reached down to a lowly (though still blazingly “stupid”) wingnut & raised him up to the snark empyrean: “And I have to tell you that, as was posted here yesterday, our impression of [MacDonald &/or Hanson] was that they are an outstanding lolcow & a good foil, and that was confirmed when they coughed up their latest psychic hairball, & we told them that.”

The wild part is, if you line them up side by side & cross your eyes, they still have no appearance of depth whatsoever.

Top 5 Indicators that Black Hussein is the real racist:
1. Barack Obama insulted a lowly white cop by calling him “stupid”.
2. The no longer “stupid” but still white cop was raised up to the presidential empyrean – obviously to deflect the incoming and well justified criticism.
3. Only black people are allowed to say “N****r”. If that’s not racism, then Barack Obama’s birth certificate is real.
4. The One said “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good man, and that was confirmed in the phone conversation — and I told him that,” – That’s right, Obama is all surprised that a white man can speak in full sentences.
5. The liberal left is all about redistributing wealth and make the lives of poor folks better, but none of the hot chicks that run around naked to protest fur have offered to suck my cock. If they’re gonna be slutty and naked and hot, the least they could do is give a guy a BJ.

One of the things that bothers me about Sgt Crowley is that the first place he went to defend himself was the Dennis & Callahan show, a wingnut haven disguised as sports talk.The two hosts of the show were suspended a few years ago for an ugly “joke” associating a news photo of an escaped gorilla at a bus stop to a program that busses black school kids to good schools in the suburbs.While the national media may not be aware of this, everyone in Boston,including Crowley, would know of it.

So much for Crowleys vaunted experiance as a teacher of racial sensitivity.Combine this with his conniving to get Gates on the porch to arrest him on bogus charges and the portait of this “good officer” as a sneaky,egotistical reactionary becomes clearer.

Pete and RePete went on a boat ride. Pete started throwing teabags overboard, made fun of RePete for wearing a life jacket like a nanny-state Defeato-Dhimmicrat, blew a hole in the bottom of his boat with his pry-it-out-of-his-cold-dead-hands shotgun, and drowned while gurgling “Birth certificate! Birth certificate!”

Who was left?

They use these delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets, they use Alaska as a fundraising tool for their anti-second amendment causes.

Starbursts….good. Starlets….bad. OK, I think I have it straight.

Liz Cheney:

Barack Obama has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean, clearly making this country less safe. My daddy woulda shot that old black dude in the face. Here’s Kenyan Obama speaking about it “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good man, and that was confirmed in the phone conversation — and I told him that,”

Starbursts….good. Starlets….bad. OK, I think I have it straight.

All well and good, but what about the Chiclets? Will someone please think about the Chiclets?

Starbursts….good. Starlets….bad. OK, I think I have it straight.

All well and good, but what about the Chiclets? Will someone please think about the Chiclets?

You Land Rover Liberals and your Gay Agendas…

Glenn Beck:

Smug and self-satisfied Barack Obama has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean: “dial one for English”, he says that all the time -“And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good man, and that he should GET OFF MY PHONE YOU LITTLE PINHEAD! GET! OFF! MYPHONE!!!!”

Celebrities are delicate and tiny, unlike me, who can rassle a bear and OH NO KATIE COURIC ASKED ME TOUGH QUESTION

They use these delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets,

Hervé Villechaize: “Boss! The Palin! The Palin!”

Barack Hussein Malcoml X Obama has reaches down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid” – oy vey thanks four small favors! yeesh yikes etc) cop and raised him up to the presidential empoorium And I have to tell you thatas I said yesterday my impression of [hero cop Sgt. James Crowley was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good manand that was confirmed in the phone conversation AND I TOLD HIM TAHT””,” teh Jew-hating Israel destrroiying Obama said in his Friday press briefing ([for THE JIHAD_ENABLING MSM SINCOPHANTS] you read it here FIRST yeesh yada. …

Damn it, DKW, you stole mine!

But remember Lou Dobbs:

There are simply too many questions about Barack Obama reaching down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raising him up to the presidential empyrean that haven’t been answered. Here he says: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good man, and that was confirmed in the phone conversation — and I told him that,” Obama said in his completely un-American Friday press briefing.

Even I’m doin’ it:
Barack Obama has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, PENIS.” Obama said in his Friday press briefing.

suggests a central repository of wingnuttiness that provides them with a rota of helpful prose snippets.

From the wingnut handbook:

If a heavy-breathing slob wearing soiled golfwear stumbles into your bedroom at 3AM and leaves a torn-off sheet of shiny fax paper under your pillow, please don’t transcribe it directly to your morning column. Paraphrase, change the sentence order, re-punctuate. Prefacing your piece with a bogus anecdote is always effective.

Reaching down global has Barack Hussein Obama to [longer “stupid”-not] cop lowly, empyrean-raised: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good man, and that was confirmed in the phone conversation — and I told him that,” said Obama aka The One to womb babies fearful.

Walter Winchell even came back from the grave for this:

GoodeveningMr.andMrs.Americafrombordertoborderandcoasttocoastandallhshipsatsea. Let’sgotopress…

Item:BarackHusseinObamahasreacheddowntoalowly(thoughnolonger“stupid”)copand raisedhimuptothepresidentialempyrean: “AndIhavetotellyouthat,asIsaidyesterday,myimpressionof [Sgt.JamesCrowley]wasthathewasanoutstandingpoliceofficer andagoodman,andthatwasconfirmedinthephoneconversation —andItoldhimthat,”ObamasaidinhisFridaypressbriefing”

Iusuallygetmystufffrompeoplewhopromisedsomebodyelsethattheywouldkeepitasecret

Barack Obama can haz reach to a lowly (tho no longer “stoopid”) hoomin and haz given him cheezburger: “A good cop – let me show you him,” Obama sed in his Friday press breefing.

Latest Nerdlinger Impromptu:

Barack Obama has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean. Back in my day, cops were so respected that no one reached down to them. Even the midgets. That a President would consider himself “Above the Law” says a loy about the direction of the country.

Anyways, I was listening to some some pastorales as performed by the Budapest Philharmonic when Obama’s voice came over the radio: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley]…” Really, what does it say about the state of the nation when a normally loquacious and eloquent speaking man such as Obama resorts to saying “square bracket” during a press conference?

Barack Obama reached down between his legs and eased the seat back.

**World Exclusive** **Must Credit the DRUDGE REPORT**

Barack Obama has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he was an outstanding police officer and a good man, and that was confirmed in the phone conversation — and I told him that,” Obama said in his Friday press briefing.

Holy cow. Shorter Dough, minutes ago:

You know what I’m obsessed with? Public bathrooms. Totally. Can haz biscuit plz?

Bonus: While researching this post, I discovered that I’ve made 40 blog entires with the word “bathroom” in them. That’s more than one third of all Corner posts with the word bathroom in them. What do I win?

Ladies and gentlemen, research was performed by Jonah Goldberg.

Someone should tell the Doughnozzle that sites are not vectors or lines.

But I have to agree this far. If the Pantload did use a public restroom I wouldn’t want to touch anything he touched either – though the bright-orange Cheetos stains would make such an occurrence easier to avoid…

Even Jonah’s aware that blegging people to do his ego-Googling for him is a bit much.

Doughbob:

Bonus: While researching this post, I discovered that I’ve made 40 blog entires with the word “bathroom” in them. That’s more than one third of all Corner posts with the word bathroom in them. What do I win?
07/27 12:51 PM

While “researching” this post. Incidentally, it’s a response to Mark Hemingway talking about swine flu. Timestamp on Mark’s post?

07/27 12:18 PM

Half an hour at most. Although, that’s still half an hour more “researching” than Jonah did for his book.

Teh gazoogle research is one thing, how about the parethensis midstream about the difference between male and female restroom habits, complete with random Larry Craig observation? What the fuck was that about?

Sometimes the Seinfeld quotes at the top are just so damn apropos:

I mean, she was like part woman, part horrible beast.

Thinking about who actually wrote the thing to begin with, I continue to be drawn back to the use of “empyrean”. Really? Empyrean? Who the fuck writes like that?

And then it dawned on me – it’s Zombie William F. Buckley returned from the grave! With the failing fortunes of conservatism, the editorial board made a pact with the devil (okay, more of a second mortgage thing) to revive their fallen general and boost their moribund movement. No doubt his presence would be a great shock to the general populace, what with his rotting and all, so they just gave him J-Lo’s old cubical (everyone has gotten used to odd smells wafting from there anyway) and set him to work creating the new National Review editorial guidance memos that get sent out every morning.

The real proof of his return will come when we see multiple new columns defending white southerners right to enforce Jim Crow.

“Em-prion”? I think it’s what you do to yourself by eating too many dodgy English hamburgers.

Was it polemically sent? I want to know what you meant [Ozzy Osbourne]:

Barack Obama has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean: “His lifestyle to me seemed so tragic with the thrill of it all, he fooled all those people with magic. Yes, he waited on Satan’s call.” Obama said in his Friday press briefing.

I just got this nougat in teh emails from FDL:

More than 41,000 people signed our petition to tell Congress to don’t go without passing health care reform.

#dontgo lives!

Peggy Nooningham:

The Negro Who Would Be King, President Barack Hussein Obama, has deigned to plummet from his lofty perch, down, down, all the way down to the abyss, the level of what one is presumably expected to regard as a lowly — though, I imagine, no longer “stupid”– office of the law, and has thusly in his nevertheless-plummeting popularity poll numbers raised the “cop” up to the presidential empyrean: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of Sgt. Jim Crowe was that he was an outstanding police officer, for a whitey anyway, and a good man, although in no way a ‘real’ man, if you know what I mean [I don’t. Whatever does he mean?], and that was confirmed in the phone conversation — and I told him that,” Obama said in his Friday press briefing, benevolently bestowing up on us one and all what he and he alone would know, I gather.

Jonah’s “eeeuw, potties” post is much more complex than it seems:

Your story is just one more reason I feel comfortable in my antipathy for leaving my home or conversing personally with homo sapiens.

c.f.

Anyway, I was heartened that on the latest NRO cruise my germophobia was confirmed.

Because aboard a cruise ship is the perfect place to avoid people and swine flu.

And then there’s this:

Barack Obama has reached down to a lowly washroom door handle and raised it up to the presidential empyrean

More than 41,000 people signed our petition to tell Congress to don’t go without passing health care reform.

39,800 thought they were denying Congress members toilets, 1200 thought this meant Congress members would not collect $200.

Thinking about who actually wrote the thing to begin with, I continue to be drawn back to the use of “empyrean”. Really? Empyrean? Who the fuck writes like that?

The only one I can think of qwho writes like that (besides the resurrected zombie of WTF Buckley) is George Will. Except if he had written it, it would have had even more of them high-falutin words, and, somehow, a baseball reference.

George Will. Except if he had written it, it would have had even more of them high-falutin words, and, somehow, a baseball reference.

“The Empyrean raised his hand with authority, to signify that the pitch was a strike.”

Really? Empyrean? Who the fuck writes like that?

Bram Stoker:

Vlad Obama has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “stupid”) cop and raised him up to the presidential empyrean: “And I bit him on the neck, and I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [Sgt. James Crowley] was that he has an outstanding carotid artery which is good for a man, and that was confirmed in my throat— and I told him that,” Vlad Obama said in his Friday press briefing. …

Don’t miss the heart-warming reader response to Goldberg’s pioneering work on bathrooms.

Don’t miss the heart-warming reader response to Goldberg’s pioneering work on bathrooms.

Lemme get this straight: Jonah’s worried about catching germs going into a stall, but not about wiping his excrement-laden butt afterwards and opening the door from the inside, thus infecting everyone with the dreaded Whine Flu?

Jonah’s worried about catching germs going into a stall, but not about wiping his excrement-laden butt afterwards and opening the door from the inside…

Maybe he’s the one that builds a toilet-seat nest with 200 yards of TP in the men’s room where I work, then after crapping wanders off and leaves it intact.

Make me wonder who it it that is actually creating the wingnut welfare column “seeds” upon which all these things are based. Clearly this happening more than once before, and with different sets of conserva-teat sucklers, suggests a central repository of wingnuttiness that provides them with a rota of helpful prose snippets

They just pull bullshit out of the Conservative Hive-Ass.

I also like the image of the BrenTorrent, in which the tiny bits of POOP! from each wingnut steadily accumulate from multiple sources into the Augean stable that is conservative ideology.

Shorter Bastard:

The fact is, The National Review has reached down to a lowly (though no longer “funded”) ass and raised a bit of poop up to the editorial Augean:

Jonah, ‘scuse mah fin-GAHs!

Maybe he’s the one that builds a toilet-seat nest with 200 yards of TP in the men’s room where I work, then after crapping wanders off and leaves it intact

Oh great! When did we hire the fat bastard?

‘scuse mah fin-GAHs!!! indeed. That’s the shorter we’ve been looking for.

Doughly Shit. He can’t let go:

Interesting fact, I can’t wipe my ass when in Yurp.

Oh great! When did we hire the fat bastard?

I start first Monday in August. Since I’ll be pilfering your pencils, I’d like you to start buying Ticonderoga Number 2s (which brings us back to POOP!).

DoughLoad posts about icky restrooms and why throwing paper towels on the floor is an act of civil disobedience and receives emails of thanks for his courageous stand. Huh. Does this mean that we have, at long last, reached the end of the Internets?

Does this mean that we have, at long last, reached the end of the Internets?

Looks like just another day at the Corner to me.

no gratuitous references to Leonidas and Sherman’s March.
Leonidas never dissed the cops, I bet.

He can’t control himself. I’ve seen people obsessed with POOP (in these comment threads even!) but Jonah’s taking it too far even for me.

It’s up over at Lucianne.com as VDH’s.

http://www.lucianne.com/thread/?artnum=484326

And other places:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=No+Offense%2C+Officer+—+It’s+Just+Your+Profession+That’s+Racist+%5BVictor+Davis+Hanson%5D&aq=f&oq=&aqi=

Hollywood needs to know: We eat, therefore we hunt.
Sarah Palin hunts wolves from helicopters so that little Inuit babies won’t starve.

Holy cow. Shorter Dough, minutes ago:

From D’oh’s Load:

“On our Holland America ship signs were posted by every bathroom door asking patrons to open the bathroom door with a hand towel so as to not touch it. I’ve been ahead of the curve for years.”

It might be news to the elitist sons-of-privilege like D’oh, but using a paper towel to open the john door is Ancient Knowledge among us Heartlanders.

What a clueless numbnuts.

My ten-year-old son had a spell of germ phobia while working through the changes associated with his mother and me divorcing. His anxiety about the changes taking place manifested as a fear of “infection.”
He’s doing much better now. He lets the dog lick his face and is acting like a ten-year-old again.
Poor Jonah. He is forever stuck in the Land of Fear and Danger. What a cowardly tool.

maybe google doesn’t have it cached, but yahoo does

As this song goes, “it may be true in some cases, some white guys have egg on their faces,” but in many other cases, Americans have fallen for those same old…

White Lies about White Guys
Dr BLT and Rockwell
words and music by Dr BLT
http://www.drblt.net/music/whiteDemom.mp3

I’d like to disabuse the world of such stereotypes that follow white males.

yeah, us white dead guys have it rough.

Sheesh. some white guys are such fuckin whiners. Sack up already.

I’ll admit, the discrimination I’ve received for being white has been rather mild, and subtle, but I’m sick of always feeling like I have to apologize for being a white male, and that’s why I wrote the song.

Actually, I’ve also been discriminated against for being “Indian” up in Canada, and I’ve also been discriminated against for being an Arab, though I am neither, strictly a full-blooded American-Candian dutchman that tans easily.

I’m sick of always feeling like I have to apologize for being a white male,

no one is MAKING you apologize, bud. But if you are constantly putting your foot in your mouth to the point where you have to apologize, one might suggest putting a sock in it.

But In fact, your subsequent sentence makes me think you may be a mite oversensitive. No one has ever made me feel like I have to apologize for being a white male.

Again, I suggest you sack up.

Real life is rough. Wear a cup.

It might be news to the elitist sons-of-privilege like D’oh, but using a paper towel to open the john door is Ancient Knowledge among us Heartlanders.

What a clueless numbnuts.

Which explains their continuing difficulty with the “Don’t Shit in Your Water Supply” thing.

Amy Alkon:

Barack Obama has reached over to a small (though no longer “tiny”) turd and lifted him up beyond the presidential shitmoat: “And I have to tell you that, as I said yesterday, my impression of [the turd] was that he was an outstanding turd and a good bowel movement, and that was confirmed in the phone conversation — and I told him that,” Obama said in his Friday press briefing.

It’s funny how anyone tries to reason with you people, as if you were still even human.

It’s funny how anyone tries to reason with you people, as if you were still even human.

Damn, you found us out!

It’s funny how anyone tries to reason with you people, as if you were still even human.

Who the hell ever tried to reason with “us people”?

“no one is MAKING you apologize, bud. But if you are constantly putting your foot in your mouth to the point where you have to apologize, one might suggest putting a sock in it.”

I generally don’t put my foot in my mouth. They say “if the shoe fits, wear it,” but that one doesn’t, so I won’t.

“But In fact, your subsequent sentence makes me think you may be a mite oversensitive. No one has ever made me feel like I have to apologize for being a white male.

Again, I suggest you sack up.

Real life is rough. Wear a cup.”

If you listen to the song, you’ll realize that the last thing white guys are accused of is being “a mite oversensitive,” we’re usually characterized as insensitive troglodytes, so it appears you’re at least making an effort to shatter that stereotype.

It’s funny how anyone tries to reason with you people, as if you were still even human.

Assumes facts notinevidencePIEFILTER.

It’s funny how anyone tries to reason with you people, as if you were still even human.

Leave zombie rotten mcdonald alone! Leave him alone!!! [sob]

I have to apologize for being a white male

Better you should apologize for being a douchenozzle.

If the shoe fit, I would wear it, and wear it proudly.

If the shoe fit, I would wear it, and wear it proudly.

I see the problem immediately.