Jul
25
25
Immortality Is A Two-Way Street
Thanks to free-market health care I have enjoyed no visits to the doctor in over five years but plenty of French wine and Japanese sushi so now I will live forever but I growed bored with it, so please Obamacare kill me in my tracks … it will be worth the better standard of living. Also, insofar as whereby lager, such as.
PS DID YOU KNOW – if you averaged eight hours of sleep over your lifetime, but I average seven, I haved live an average of 13.6 years longer conscious life than you, but you were better rested.
Scaramocuhe said,
July 25, 2009 at 4:47
Hate to tell ya, but it’s call beauty sleep for a reason…there’s no way you’re leaving a good looking corpse…
lupus yonderboy said,
July 25, 2009 at 4:49
From my hospital bed you can see healthy people. Also. And when Cuba rears its ugly head, where are they “ahead?” Child mortality. Which just goes to show what a blessing Trig is for all of us.
Smiling Mortician said,
July 25, 2009 at 4:50
Hoo boy. That French wine.
SomeNYGuy said,
July 25, 2009 at 4:52
I’ve lived entirely too long already. Is that like immortality?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
July 25, 2009 at 4:55
I’m too tired to go to sleep.
What should I do?
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 4:56
You should sleep it off with eyes wide open, pal.
N__B said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:00
You should sleep it off with eyes wide open, pal.
The last time I tried that, I dreamed about ceilings.
tigrismus said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:02
Those extra hours are all sex dreams.
Substance McGravitas said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:04
You should have gone for the dirigible attachment. Those tracks really tear the shit out of the carpet.
Substance McGravitas said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:16
Hmm, read this tutorial or not?
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:17
I feel as if we are geographically distant and yet close … it’s like I don’t know where I end and you begin, other than the 3,000 miles that separates us.
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:21
You should have gone for the dirigible attachment.
O! The insanity etc
Substance McGravitas said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:22
DO THE COCK.
Shithouse Troll (Slight Return) said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:25
Scuse my finGAHS while I kiss the sky.
Substance McGravitas said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:26
Holy shit the tutorial helped.
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:29
Your password will be mailed to you. It is not XwWZ45Ty.
Mona said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:31
B-b-but, how can one grow bored wish sushi? I scarf it down as often as possible.
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:33
Not bored – and in fact, I have a couple pounds of albacore in the freezer at the moment, if anybody wants to swing on by and unfreeze some albacore for searing plus a bit of garlic and teriyaki and rice (I will not create sashimi out of frozen fish, though)
Vinnie Vega said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:39
sleep good
Snorghagen said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:44
What is this thing you call ‘conscious life’?
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:47
Mostly meth, actually
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:48
And a bit of paint huffing but who’s counting?
General Sternwood said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:53
..and my sleep is so near waking it’s hardly worth a name. I seem to exist largely on heat like a new born spider.
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:54
‘To sleep, perchance to cream’ (the Ben Shapiro story)
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 5:56
PS Pere Ubu-slash-KKKK, you proto-absurdist, jump into this thread or may Jarry curse your soul
Substance McGravitas said,
July 25, 2009 at 6:00
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_d2k_Q_KoEu0/SmkYV65c0rI/AAAAAAAAAAk/eN6XLINgGgQ/s1600-h/DP7_Cardlist_Lo.jpg
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 6:03
Take-a-poo, I choose you!
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 6:04
I am actually a bit of a Naruto purist, myself
pedestrian said,
July 25, 2009 at 6:06
I have a couple pounds of albacore in the freezer at the moment, if anybody wants to swing on by and unfreeze some albacore for searing plus a bit of garlic and teriyaki and rice
Where do you live again?
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 6:09
Cole Valley
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 6:10
415 681 5417
Substance McGravitas said,
July 25, 2009 at 6:13
RAMEN!
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 6:15
SAIMIN, Haole!
D. Aristophanes said,
July 25, 2009 at 6:16
PS Sexy Jutsu – look it up
Vinnie Vega said,
July 25, 2009 at 6:42
I was in San Jose and missed a chance to visit SF, idiotically of course. Went to Monterey instead which was prob. farther and kinda boring/
Jennifer said,
July 25, 2009 at 7:02
You should sleep it off with eyes wide open, pal.
At first I thought that was a gratuituous Creed reference.
Linnaeus said,
July 25, 2009 at 7:07
You can have the sushi. I’ll take the wine, though.
Bill E Pilgrim said,
July 25, 2009 at 7:43
I was in San Jose and missed a chance to visit SF, idiotically of course. Went to Monterey instead which was prob. farther and kinda boring/
There’s an old saying: Even though the moon is only one third the size of the Earth, it’s farther away.
justme said,
July 25, 2009 at 8:05
Goodnight folks. See ya in a few days.
commie atheist said,
July 25, 2009 at 8:09
Some thoughts on health care:
http://www.dailyhowler.com/dh072309.shtml
Smut Clyde said,
July 25, 2009 at 8:35
You should have gone for the dirigible attachment.
Steampunk e-mails.
M. Bouffant said,
July 25, 2009 at 8:37
I, too, am tired of living, but less & less scared of dying, if it ever really scared me.
I’m not even sure a robot body would make it worthwhile any more.
Steampunk E-mail Spam said,
July 25, 2009 at 8:38
TROUBLE WITH YOUR BL1MP??
Smut Clyde said,
July 25, 2009 at 8:40
In Socialist New Zealand Healthcare, life leaves you!
M. Bouffant said,
July 25, 2009 at 9:05
Nothing left to life but a pair of glassy eyes, also.
he flips said,
July 25, 2009 at 9:40
So we are still on the MASH theme?
gainsayer said,
July 25, 2009 at 9:41
At first I thought that was a gratuituous Creed reference.
Any Creed reference is gratuitous.
he flips said,
July 25, 2009 at 9:46
I’m lost. I felt like wine but only had a cheap LBV. Still drank half the damn thing and burping woody raisins
Bar Lady said,
July 25, 2009 at 11:54
Good night already. Can’t you people take a hint?
N__B said,
July 25, 2009 at 12:22
Can’t you people take a hint?
I took two hints, but my breath is still a little funky.
Willy said,
July 25, 2009 at 14:12
if you averaged eight hours of sleep over your lifetime, but I average seven, I haved live an average of 13.6 years longer conscious life than you
You’re HOW OLD?
One hour of sleep gives you 13.6 extra years? Say you didn’t sleep at all, then you’d haved live[sic] 13.6*8 (~109) years more conscious life than me.
I guess there is something to being frenchified.
W. Kiernan said,
July 25, 2009 at 14:27
If one hour per day will add up to 13.6 years, then your projected life expectancy would have to be 24 * 13.6 = 326.4 years.
zzx said,
July 25, 2009 at 14:40
Oh, I thought it said Immorality Is A Two-Way Street. Now I’m all disappointed.
Bullsmith said,
July 25, 2009 at 15:29
My life in dreams is infinitely more varied and interesting than reality. To describe sleep as merely being unconscious really doesn’t do justice to the experience of dreaming. Also.
Sirius Lunacy said,
July 25, 2009 at 15:40
Immorality is a three way street actually.
77south said,
July 25, 2009 at 16:31
Nice. I’m all about three way.
Tata said,
July 25, 2009 at 16:35
There can be only one. You cannot defend against my GOLDEN GRAPEFRUIT SPOON!
Smut Clyde said,
July 25, 2009 at 16:41
Immorality is all about the parallel parking.
N__B said,
July 25, 2009 at 16:43
I’m all about three way.
I never know which way to turn on a three-way street.
Sirius Lunacy said,
July 25, 2009 at 17:25
Go up the street, go down or go the other way.
Or you could just back in.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
July 25, 2009 at 19:19
Every since I found out that Feynman defined a positron as an electron going backwards in time, I have been very calm about the prospect of death.
Seriously.
Well, that factoid, plus lots of meditation upon it while drinking a lot, anyways.
Tehanu said,
July 25, 2009 at 22:05
Nice Chandler quote, “General Sternwood.” I view that scene a little differently since I found out that the old man was based on E.L. Doheny, the malefactor of great wealth who was acquitted of paying the bribe that Albert Fall was convicted of taking.
Old Man Muffaroo said,
July 25, 2009 at 22:46
“To the memory of Mr. Stan Phillips,” I said out loud.
les said,
July 25, 2009 at 23:35
Huh. Fas–kinating. Beer has enabled me to appreciate a substantially grape dominated monoversation. The existence of Sadlynauts enables ongoing thought; now, all I need to figure out is whether that’s a good thing. Further application of sorta midwestern (Colorado) sinister (left hand) brewer’s stout seems indicated. Rave on.
Mo's Bike Shop said,
July 26, 2009 at 1:28
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
/Church O’ Teh Pic-A-Nic Basket
Mo's Bike Shop said,
July 26, 2009 at 3:03
Every since I learned about Quantum Physics, I haven’t had the heart to copy-editor-nazi that typo.
Smut Clyde said,
July 26, 2009 at 10:58
Forking in gardens is also good.
Invigilator said,
July 26, 2009 at 14:36
As someone intimated above, this number makes no sense. Unless, that is, you assume a life span of approximately 326.4 years. This will not be achieved even under socialism, but will have to wait until the advent — some would say well after the advent — of fully realized Communism!
SqueakyRat said,
July 26, 2009 at 21:32
Time well spent, if you ask me. I wish I could sleep like a sloth.