Ha! Marie Jon’, tell that to Katie McCollow, who wrote this in Monday’s RedEye (published by the Chicago Tribune):

[The Winter Olympics are] chockablock with weird sports I would never know about otherwise, and I like that. There’s more stuff it seems like an average Jane like me could actually do.

I know I’ll never be an Olympic gymnast or a sprinter, but watching the luge . . . well, c’mon. I’m not alone in fantasizing that I could pick that up tomorrow and someday medal in it, am I? I’m married. Lying flat on my back, praying for a fast finish is nothing new.

oooOOOooo, do I detect the smell of buring martyr?

I’m guessing that our MJ’ has dreams at night of things that Hustler wouldn’t publish, and the only thing that keeps her from flogging herself when she wakes up is the fear that she might enjoy it. Every self-congratulatory virgin-’til-marriage column is both a reminder to herself of her pledge, and an ongoing punishment for her desire to break it. She hates the kink in her heart, and she hates herself for loving it. That is some fucked-upness that only fundie Christianity can instill.

The person who eventually taps her will either find himself with the cold fish, too enmeshed in self-hatred to enjoy herself, or will turn some hidden key to find a PVC-clad otherbeing who will knock him right out of his white starched boxers. Either way, I can’t wait to read the column that follows.

I expected quality MJ’. Bt we just got BLT, and BLT has never once comment at Three B, where he is a star.

I was raised by parents who loved me, but went overboard in their conservative views and in the manner in which they introduced me to them. I’ve been a rebel ever since, but I don’t resent their conservativism, and have even adopted many of their views.
It is the “overboard” part that I continue to resent, and it is extremism at both ends of the spectrum that I continue to regard as the enemy. It’s a matter of extremism, not whether or not one is a liberal or a conservative, that is the issue.

So, let me get this straight, you “rebelled” by… fleeing toward the middle?!? You know… like Hillary Clinton.

Bwah-hah-ha-haaa!!! Oh, Bruce! You are occasionally good for a larf!

[,,,]I believe the most passionate art comes from rebellion, and much of the rebellion in art has been from folks who were rebelling against their conservative parents.

Um, perhaps somebody’s already said this (still haven’t finished reading all these comments!), but if they haven’t… Bruce, you’re conservative. Your parents are/were conservative. You’re “rebelling” against them… how, exactly? It’s easy for liberal children to rebel against liberal parents: you push way beyond what they think is appropriate. Yes, they have limits. But hawking the same old, same old conservative pabulum? How is that rebelling? You aren’t all that extremist, so unless your parents were real middle-of-the-roaders, or only very slightly conservative, I really don’t know how you can claim this in good faith.

I respect those of you who do not simply react impulsively and end up being incredibly offensive, rude, and even hateful in the process. I don’t have to mention any names. You know who you are.

Ooh, ooh! Me, me!!!

“Why buy the milk, when you already own the cow, you’re milking her for all she’s worth, and she’s providing you with all manner of dairy products?”

Wow, Bruce, that’s an… interesting way to portray your lady wife. Does she know you feel this way about her? Also, does she know about your little infatuation with Ms. Turtleneck:

It’s Marie for me, all the way!

Sounds like you’ve got a bit of a Jimmy Carter problem going there, Doc! Assuming you’re only unfaithful in your “lustful heart.”