Jul
16

Bikini A-Hole




Posted at 22:06 by D. Aristophanes

Over at the Corner, we learn that John Derbyshire’s household is playing host to an improbably animate ‘Confucius Say’ aphorism, leading in not-strictly-logical fashion to a brief polemic on the hideousness of the average bare navel. It’s splash park season, you see, and Derb prefers to contemplate the bikini as a comforting reminder of the potential for nuclear holocaust, rather than as a showcase for female bits that aren’t up to his strict standards of beauty.

Still, while he prefers to perv on more modestly attired flesh, that’s no reason to stop mocking the wogs.

derbswimmer

187 Comments »

  1. N__B said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:07

    MY EYES! The goggles, they do nothing!

  2. Arky4That1 said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:10

    Dear God, I hate you.

  3. Till said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:14

    Homo sap

    PENIS REFERENCE!

    Every female Homo sap., of every age, shape, and tint is in a bikini, including a great many who should not be

    Yes, but what were the female Homo habiliseseses wearing? Also, including “tint” in that list is real classy. Also.

  4. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:17

    …we are very unimaginative about ladies’ beachwear.

    Speak for yourself Derb.

  5. Willy said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:19

    I’m sure the Derb is dashing in his Speedo.

    These guys get whole truckloads of gravel dropped at their glass houses.

  6. Marco said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:19

    If only Derby told us he was going to that water park, I would have glady drank a keg of beer and warmed the water around him.

  7. That Girl said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:19

    If this guy has a daughter, I bet she has an eating disorder.

  8. Rusty Shackleford said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:20

    I wouldn’t have guessed there were so many Christian screamo bands.

  9. King Kot of the Kuba Kingdom said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:22

    Of course, just sayin’, the picture up there *gag* is a one-piece, not a bikini.

    I prefer one-pieces, but I’ll make an exception in Derb’s case. He needs one of those burquinis, or, better yet, an old-style metal diving suit.

  10. Froley said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:23

    The snot green scrotum-tightening Derbyshire…

  11. Another synapse said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:27

    improbably animate ‘Confucius Say’ aphorism, leading in not-strictly-logical fashion to a brief polemic

    Yeesh, more oblique than even usual. Sadly Noh.

    So, er, “Homo sap”??

    Do you think he meant women who like to be around gay guys?

  12. actor212 said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:34

    I suddenly find myself with a surfeit of vomit, which must be expelled.

  13. actor212 said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:35

    I spotted a BMO

    Barack Mooslem Obama?

  14. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:36

    It’s splash park season, you see, and Derb prefers to contemplate the bikini as a comforting reminder of the potential for nuclear holocaust, rather than as a showcase for female bits that aren’t up to his strict standards of beauty.

    She doesn’t think so, but she’s dressed for the H-bomb.

  15. actor212 said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:36

    He needs one of those burquinis, or, better yet, an old-style metal diving suit.

    make it out of cement, and I’ll personally buy it for him.

  16. Bill E Pilgrim said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:36

    Yeesh I forgot I was Another Synapse on my Mac. I forget why, something that it it fit the other night.

  17. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:37

    He needs one of those burquinis, or, better yet, an old-style metal diving suit.

    Two wetsuits, one most-definitely-not-humorless dildo.

  18. D. Aristophanes said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:38

    BMO – black moving object … a nice, humanizing characterization of Muslim women

  19. actor212 said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:42

    BMO – black moving object … a nice, humanizing characterization of Muslim women

    Nice!

    So that would make Debrisshure, um, a WMD? White Moving Doughpile?

  20. RUGGED IN MONTANA said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:43

    THAT LADY IN THE PHOTO SURE DOES HAVE PURDY LIPS!!!!!

  21. LittlePig said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:46

    I call bullshit. Derb hasn’t been out of the basement in years.

  22. Michael G said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:46

    Two winning titles in a row, Aristophanes. It’s always nice to see the folks who don’t know the difference between “I don’t like X” and “Everyone should stop doing X,” where X is some pissant matter of taste.

    BMO also takes the cake for worst slur I’ve heard all month.

  23. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:51

    regardless of the p-shop, that headshot is one of Derb’s less heinous. He almost looks like he has a chin.

  24. Sarcastro said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:51

    What happened to the one-piece female bathing suit?

    A general desire not to have to completely strip down in order to take a leak.

  25. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:52

    #

    Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:17 (kill)

    …we are very unimaginative about ladies’ beachwear.

    Speak for yourself Derb.

    sheesh, slow down!

    some of us are stil undressing Markie Post.

  26. King Kot of the Kuba Kingdom said,

    July 16, 2009 at 22:56

    A general desire not to have to completely strip down in order to take a leak.

    You KNOW… again, just sayin’… there are companies that make that kind there with velcro fastenings in the crotchetal area in an assortment of materials.

  27. willf said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:00

    Every female Homo sap., of every age, shape, and tint is in a bikini, including a great many who should not be because they are over the age of fifteen, which for me, John “Humbert²” Derbyshire, means that they are just too darn old.

    Fixed.

  28. cur said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:00

    So explain this to me please, does he actually get paid to write this kind of stuff. If so, is it more than the hard working men and women that scrape gum off the ground with the scrapers and empty the garbage at the water park he went to. Because if he does than I am not sure how this capitalism thing works.

  29. W. Kiernan said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:01

    Every female Homo sap., of every age, shape, and tint is in a bikini, including a great many who should not be — including, indeed, quite a few who should be arrested for it.

    Because, obviously, the one and only purpose of any woman going to the beach is to serve as eye-candy for nasty, twitchy middle-aged men. She’s not there for her own regalement – to Hell with that! – she’s there to supply girl-watching pleasure to him, and him, and him, and him. And in the event that she can’t serve effectively, because, alas, she doesn’t look as though she just stepped off the pages of Maxim Magazine, then she should stay home.

  30. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:05

    A general desire not to have to completely strip down in order to take a leak.

    I can’t decide between:

    Welcome to our ool…

    or

    The extra “E”…

  31. actor212 said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:13

    there are companies that make that kind there with velcro fastenings in the crotchetal area

    Ah, a portable Brazilian wax!

  32. Mr. Wonderful said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:13

    Never mind the Derb’s Python-twit/concern troll indignation. This–

    “For a nation with 47 kinds of breakfast cereal”

    is absurdly wrong. There are many more than that. What is wrong with these people? With their unsubstantiated allegations of “fact”? Whatever happened to standards in this country?

  33. King Kot of the Kuba Kingdom said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:17

    Ah, a portable Brazilian wax!

    Better than the zipper alternative.

  34. King Kot of the Kuba Kingdom said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:20

    “Latest News” headline on CNN.com:

    Gay penguins split after 1 goes straight

    *sigh* and they’ll even sell you a T-shirt with that on it.

    Why? Why do I read that shit? WHY?

  35. Jay B. said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:36

    To only be slightly fair to the cranky pedophiliac “BMO”, while a slur, isn’t meant to humanize Muslim women, it accurately describes the dehumanized state so many of them are categorically consigned to by the butch, yet infantile, male population of another stupid fucking religion.

  36. Till said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:44

    they’ll even sell you a T-shirt with that on it.

    CNN seems to be angling for some kind of award in clueless overuse of the internet. iReport, an obsession with Twitter, the fucking YouTube debates. I suppose it’s an attempt to pull in the younger demographic, but jeez, they’re a cable news network owned by Time Warner, not fucking Pitchfork Media.

  37. Dot said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:45

    He probably is trying to explain away the “research” IT found on his computer…

  38. Smut Clyde said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:48

    velcro fastenings in the crotchetal area

    Crochet and velcro? Sounds a bit new-age to me. Why not incorporate some tie-dyed lycra while you’re at it?

  39. owlbear1 said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:49

    In all this time you’d think a religion that requires its female adherents to only wear Black Leather Thigh boots and a white fish-net body stocking would have shown up.

    Gives a whole new meaning to “get thee to a nunnery’ now don’t it?

  40. King Kot of the Kuba Kingdom said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:50

    a religion that requires its female adherents to only wear Black Leather Thigh boots and a white fish-net body stocking

    Sign me up!

  41. King Kot of the Kuba Kingdom said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:51

    ^^^^
    that is now the official state religion of the Kooba Kingdom.

  42. Jimmy Blarter said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:56

    O.K. I’ll give him credit for the “Christian Screamo” line, which WAS pretty funny. But what the heck was the point of that post? That most women are not in fact model quality in their looks and swimwear may look less than flattering on some? No shit. The same could be said of most men, including Derbyshire himself. Maybe he should spare a thought for any unfortunate women nearby the next time he goes to the water park with just a pair of shorts or (God forbid) speedos.

  43. F'in Librul said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:57

    As I live and breathe, there is a bikini ad on that page at The Corner right now.

    Thank you, context ads. You made my day.

  44. tigrismus said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:57

    Crochet and velcro? Sounds a bit new-age to me.

    Velcro = velour + crochet

  45. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:59

    Pope Owlbear the First!

  46. King Kot of the Kuba Kingdom said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:03

    As I live and breathe, there is a bikini ad on that page at The Corner right now.

    Hopefully Derb is not in it.

  47. Till said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:05

    As I live and breathe, there is a bikini ad on that page at The Corner right now.

    Thank you, context ads. You made my day.

    I think I still have a screenshot from the early days of GMail, with ads for divorce lawyers next to a less-than-pleasant email exchange with an ex-girlfriend of mine. I was much amused and slightly scared by the accuracy.

  48. tigrismus said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:05

    But what the heck was the point of that post? That most women are not in fact model quality in their looks and swimwear may look less than flattering on some?

    If that was the point, why is he not wearing a face mask? I bet most people would prefer to look at my post-sitting-on-corduroy-for-3-hours ass than his face.

  49. owlbear1 said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:05

    Good to be the Pope.

    Now get me to a nunnery!!!

  50. J— said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:07

    What happened to the one-piece female bathing suit?

    A general desire not to have to completely strip down in order to take a leak.

    Derbyshire has been informed of this, but he can’t bring himself to say it in so many words because The Corner is “a family website.”

  51. Jennifer said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:07

    So that would make Debrisshure, um, a WMD? White Moving Doughpile?

    No, he’s still just a MRP…Miserable Rightwing Prick.

  52. King Kot of the Kuba Kingdom said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:12

    Good to be the Pope.

    Now get me to a nunnery!!!

    And the glad cry of “SCUSE mah finGAHS!” was heard throughout the land.

  53. Loneoak said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:16

    As I live and breathe, there is a bikini ad on that page at The Corner right now.

    Thank you, context ads. You made my day.

    One of these days context ads will get so good that instead of offering bikinis for sale they will pick up on the ornery wingnut factor and instead offer spittle guards for computer screens, tickets to the next Ted Nugent tour, and Amway herbal remedies for teh rheumatisms.

  54. tigrismus said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:19

    Men used to wear two-pieces, why doesn’t he bemoan their loss, or pioneer their return? I bet most of the people would have liked to have seen less of him, too.

  55. Lesley said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:21

    Thousands of bikini’d women are bothering John Derbyshire and there isn’t a thing he can do about it. Yay.

  56. That Girl said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:22

    The Corner is “a family website.”

    Makes sense. Justifying torture – fine. Talking about using the restroom – OH NOES! OFF LIMITZ!

  57. Smut Clyde said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:23

    Gives a whole new the old Shapespearean meaning to “get thee to a nunnery’ now don’t it?
    Faxed.
    I was about to claim dibs on “velcrotch”, but it’s in Urbandictionary already.

  58. You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:28

    His problem in judging women is that he thinks everybody should look like the nut in DBD, or maybe he just watches too much pron.

  59. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:36

    Derb is just trying to make a killing by reviving the bathing machine industry.

    It’s tragic that he bears the same name as one of the unsung genii of the late 20th century.

  60. Onan the Pornarian said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:37

    Nuns in black leather.
    Never leaving the house.

  61. Rishy said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:38

    owlbear1 said,

    July 16, 2009 at 23:49

    In all this time you’d think a religion that requires its female adherents to only wear Black Leather Thigh boots and a white fish-net body stocking would have shown up.

    Gives a whole new meaning to “get thee to a nunnery’ now don’t it?

    Well…it’s no fishnet and knee boots but; skyclad has been a requirement of my religious persuasion since before that Jesus guy was a twinkle in the holy ghosts eye dontcha know.

  62. owlbear1 said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:43

    skyclad has been a requirement of my religious persuasion

    Oh sure! Bring up Nudity…

  63. Lesley said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:51

    An ugly mind exceeds the weight of ten million unsightly bodies.

  64. You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:55

    From a couple of threads ago….

    Man selling kidney to keep son.

    http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/07/16/pakistan.organ.selling/index.html

    The free market works!

  65. kingubu said,

    July 17, 2009 at 0:55

    Bring up Nudity…

    Veiled recursive PENIS reference.

  66. Galactic Dustbin said,

    July 17, 2009 at 1:07

    Every female Homo sap., of every age, shape, and tint is in a bikini, including a great many who should not be

    of course for Derb, if said bikini is on someone older then 15, well then for gods sake she is over the hill and should be in baggy sweats.

    http://pandagon.blogsome.com/2005/12/01/a-song-dedication-to-john-derbyshire/

  67. Nev Dull said,

    July 17, 2009 at 1:09

    But! I thought lookism was the purview of liberal fascists. I mean, BMOs are the Leni Riefenstahls of Liberal Fascism, amirite?

  68. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 1:11

    Nev Dull said,

    Heh. Nice handle.

  69. yoyo said,

    July 17, 2009 at 1:17

    For dumboshire the only exception to the 15 year or under bikini rule is sarah drool palin, balin-palin takes him sailing.

  70. tigrismus said,

    July 17, 2009 at 1:25

    Veiled recursive PENIS reference.

    Dear Madam or Sir:

    Please insert an “uncial/minuscule” joke with a little play on “naked pointer/resource leak/tail recursion” as well RIGHT HERE.

    With my sincerest thanks and warmest regards,
    t.

  71. Helen Girlie Browne said,

    July 17, 2009 at 1:36

    Cosmo Girl Beauty Tip #6:

    Don’t spoil that cute figure with dour, priggish expression!

  72. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 17, 2009 at 1:47

    In other news:

    POOP!

    I wonder if he’s an Alkon fan.

  73. Nev Dull said,

    July 17, 2009 at 1:59

    Hanx! I think I’ll stick to this nym here for awhile, although it appears to have been used elsewhere pretty extensively. Who’d've guessed that Unix and spoonerisms would go so well together?

  74. Nom de Plume said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:00

    including a great many who should not be

    I call for a return to Victorian-style male bathing attire. That way, guys like Derbyshire would have to cover up their tits the same as the women, with the added bonus of covering their fat guts and their fat thighs as well.

    Young and attractive people, on the other hand, would still be welcome to exhibit as much as legally allowed.

  75. Another Kiwi said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:06

    Aitch, ay, double u, tea. Mr Dervishire is Hawtter than a chilli sprout. I do wonder where Mr. D is going to carry his concealed weapon, then I have to drink brain bleach again and forget what I was doing.
    BMO sort of backs up the casual racism these people peddle.

  76. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:06

    That way, guys like Derbyshire would have to cover up their tits the same as the women, with the added bonus of covering their fat guts and their fat thighs as well.

    I dunno – weren’t those men’s suits tight with lots of horizontal stripes?

  77. PeeJ said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:06

    Homo sap? We only use 100% natural grade AA Fag syrup in our household.

  78. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:14

    Homo sap? We only use 100% natural grade AA Fag syrup in our household.

    No, I think “Homo sap” = “Log Cabin Republican”.

  79. Righteous Bubba said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:17

    This is a great clip.

  80. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:20

    This is a great clip.

    Sounds like someone’s mankini is a little too tight.

  81. J Neo Marvin said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:21

    See the girl on the TV dressed in the bikini
    She doesn’t think so, but she’s dressed for the H-Bomb!
    (For the H-Bomb)

    Derb found that essence rare.

  82. apistat said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:24

    I’m absolutely amazed that you guys made this post without the reference to that infamous post (that several here have already mentioned) where he says that the ravages of age have made Jennifer Aniston look just too old for him to consider attractive, and laments the fact that the peak years of attractiveness for women are 15 to 20.

    http://www.nationalreview.com/derbyshire/derbyshire200511300810.asp

    “It is, in fact, a sad truth about human life that beyond our salad days, very few of us are interesting to look at in the buff. Added to that sadness is the very unfair truth that a woman’s salad days are shorter than a man’s — really, in this precise context, only from about 15 to 20.”

  83. tigrismus said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:26

    I bet he doesn’t know he’ll get what he asks for, though.

  84. papa zita said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:30

    I dunno – weren’t those men’s suits tight with lots of horizontal stripes?

    Yup. I’ve seen them in a lot of silents and ’30s movies. The worst part is that they seemed to rent those suits from the pool. Watch Buster Keaton’s The Cameraman for an idea of how it was done. BTW, they didn’t all wear striped ones, I think that was to ID those who had rented a suit and who brought their own. The weirdest suits were the ones where the top covered just the front of the chest.

  85. Righteous Bubba said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:31

    I’m absolutely amazed that you guys made this post without the reference to that infamous post

    Isn’t that one taken for granted?

  86. The Angry Pharmacist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:37

    Going along with my previous (and popular) socialized medicine post, I have a solution from the pharmacy aspect that I thought of while reading some responses to it.

    You see, we shouldn’t have the folks like Walgreens, Rite-Aid (if they are still around), CVS, and the hundreds of independents profiting off of the pain and suffering of our aging and sick population. We all know that Walgreens charges like cost + $30 on most of their generics, that’s just pure profit and its wrong! The $4 menu is just suckering you in so they can pass the “savings” off on the bigger ticket items.

    The federal government should open its own pharmacy, a huge one, and go 100% mail order for everyone. They can negotiate directly with the drug manufacturers to drive the cost down, and people will just have one flat copay regardless of drug (the rest will be subsidized by the government). All citizens will use this pharmacy because it’ll be cheaper than anyone else. Most insurance plans require mail order anyways, so what would be the big difference doing consultations over the phone (since we do them now anyways). Sorta like how the VA or Kaiser does it, only on a much larger scale.

    Since its the government, it can make its own rules with regard to how many pharmacists/techs it can have. 50 techs to 1 pharmacist? Sure! Huge warehouses of nothing by filling machines and techs certified to check off prescriptions? You got it! You want Cozaar? Too bad you’re getting Diovan and LOVING IT. Got a complaint? Call this 800 number. Meds get lost in the mail? Call this 800 number again!

    Just think, $5 for Zyvox since the government can tell the manufacturers to either lower their cost or take a hike. I’m sure they would get a deal also since they run the postal service.

    Except… most of you (including myself) would be without jobs because the price would drive down so low that you couldn’t stay in business. Much like what WalMart did to the local mom-and-pop shops. At least the cost of drugs (brand name) keeps the chains vs independents in line with each other. Obviously pharmacists are all about ‘helping the patient’ so our jobs really mean little in the whole grand scheme of things. Techs on the other hand are set! You only need a bare staff of pharmacists to just sort through the massive amount of medical data the government would be collecting from filling your prescriptions.

    Drug reps would be a thing of the past because doctors wouldn’t have any choice in what they prescribe, it’ll just be what the government approves of. Hell, maybe they can pay-per-view drug-rep battles to see who’s PPI gets on formulary!

    Just a thought you know, because some of you feel that having the government play the healthcare game is a good idea (which I don’t expect you all to agree with me ALL the time, just most of the time when it involves crackheads and Soma). In fact, the government stepping in is a great idea until they bottom out most of the private insurances (because what private company can compete with the government? A private company backed by a few billion in shareholder cash that people choose to invest in vs the federal government which is backed by every working citizens taxes that they are forced encouraged to pay. Lets see who’s going to win!); which turn cause a bunch of layoffs (cue whining), and give them a 4.8 trillion dollar bailout like every other failing corporation gets. But hey! Those laid off people will have AWESOME health benefits regardless if they are contributing taxes or not!

    Just a thought I had. Continue your discussions.
    Spread the Anger:

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    June 25th, 2009 by theangrypharmacist | 61 Comments »
    The big socialized medicine post

    Here I will give my thoughts and viewpoint on the current push to give people socialized medicine in the US. Feel free to chime in on what you think.

    As all of you are quite aware, there is a push in this country to give every man-woman-child government sponsored health-care. Here I will tell you why this is a horrible idea and is doomed to fail.

    Here in the wonderful USA, we already have 2 forms of socialized medicine:

    * MediCare – Given to citizens over the age of 65, or to those under 65 who qualify (renal disease, disability, etc)
    * MediAid – Welfare

    Both of these are wholly sponsored and paid-for by Uncle Sam. Sure Medicare Part D plans have a small premium, but usually those are taken out of your MediCare check (and are no where near the cost of private insurance).

    What this socialized medicine bullshit wants to do, is to give “universal health-care” to people who do not fit within those two categories. Now mind you, that anyone can go to any county hospital (paid for by the taxpaying citizens of that county) and receive medical care without having the ability to pay. Most private hospital ER rooms will also give you stabilizing treatment without you showing proof of ability to pay. That seems pretty damn awesome if you ask me, however people want more.

    The big idea that some Americans throw around is that access to health-care is a right. Let me clarify this for everyone who thinks that way:

  87. The Angry Pharmacist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:38

    HEALTH-CARE IS NOT A RIGHT!

    Access to a Doctor is as much as right as having access to a Plumber, a Roofer, an Electrician or anyone else in a specialized trade. Until the government FORCES AND PAYS people to go to medical school, it is not a right. You see us Doctors, Nurses, Pharmacists? We chose to go into this profession, we weren’t forced into doing it. Do you see an amendment in the Constitution showing the right to see a medical professional? No. Do you know how to re-shingle your roof, install a shower, fix a rotting foundation, lay brick, or do a bunch of other jobs that you have NO PROBLEM hiring someone to do; but the moment you can’t get in to see the doctor RIGHT NOW (because his/her practice revolves around YOU) the “I HAVE A RIGHT” card gets thrown down as you throw a 2 year old tantrum? Quit fucking whining about your “right” to see a doctor and be thankful there’s more than 1 doctor in 300 square miles like in some 3rd world countries. Be thankful we even have people who choose to be doctors, pharmacists and nurses after dealing with shit-ass people like you.

    Now that we cleared up that “confusion” that some entitlement douches like to throw around, we can move on why socialized medicine will not work here:

    IF ITS FREE, USE UNTIL CANNOT USE ANYMORE!

    Irresponsible humans have a nasty of habit of seeing “free” and totally abusing the shit out of it thinking it is indeed free when its not. Its free to them, but costly to someone else. Let me give you a situation: You have a sore throat. You should probably go and see the doctor but you might want to wait another day. Judging that you can see the doctor “RIGHT NOW”, are you more willing to go if its going to cost you a $100 copay, or $0 copay? Now imagine EVERYONE doing this to the same doctors office. Now get really mad when your appointment is 3 years away, and the doctor sees you for 30 seconds. Now bitch about something that you get for free off of the backs of the working class.

    As evidenced by the MediCare system (why do old people need so many fucking lab tests.. OH ITS FREE!) and the welfare system (I need my Nexium, Diovan, but I only really take my VICODIN), if something is perceived as free it will be used, abused, and taken for granted. Just look at e-mail and the internet for example. People believe that email is free, so as a result I get thousands of spam messages a day to my inbox. People believe that its free for me to run this site, so they have scripts setup to check it every 30 seconds for new content (if you’re slow, you wouldn’t realize that I try to post something every SUNDAY). Humans abuse what is free.

    I’m sure the Canadian and the UK readers will share how most of them have PRIVATE insurance because the socialized stuff has a 4 year waiting list for appointments for the socialized docs. Hate to say it, but copays filter out the “I must see doctor!” from the “Eh, im bored, lets go get drugs”. If you don’t believe me, go sit in the ER and see what piddly shit comes in to waste our dollars.

    THIS COUNTRY IS BROKE

    Yeah, we’re broke. We bailed out every corporation that should of failed (will Obama bail out my pharmacy and the other independents when the insurance companies force us under? No) and have a few trillion dollars of unaccounted free money (our money) floating around. Now how exactly are we going to pay for this? I’m paying into a MediCare system that will be long dried up before I ever get to get a lab or appointment covered by it. Medicare part D has to have the ‘coverage gap’ to keep it from going broke (faster), and now we want to give subsidized health care to everyone? Reading above how people abuse what is free doesn’t really make much sense that this is going to financially fly. The government couldn’t throw a 5 year old’s birthday party without tons of red tape and spending 100x what is would normally cost and there is talk about making them have a hand in our health-care? I think this whole ‘universal healthcare’ is just a government ploy to give new jobs to the idiots who work on the federal dime so they can keep their meaningless pointless jobs.

    So I don’t really know what the future holds if we have socialized medicine in this country. It might look good on paper, but I think its going to flop. At least I’ll get my opinions in before the government forbids me from giving them (or maybe the’ll just take over this website like they are taking over everything else in this country). ;)

    UPDATE: Look, less than 24 hours and already I’m trying to explain what I wrote. So this post was to clarify on how I think that healthcare is not a right (which it’s not, disagree if you will) and two huge issues that any government subsudized plan is going to have (which could apply to ANYTHING that ANYONE pays to service that someone else uses) It wasn’t “YAR YAR NO SOCIALIZED MEDICINE” like the words some of you are putting in my mouth. Since /any/ plan that is made by our broke government is going to be 1000% funded on the backs of taxpaying citizens (since obviously doctors aren’t going to take a huge pay cut, pharmacies aren’t going to take a huge pay cut, where is the cash going to magically come from?) these are the concerns I have (and rightfully so). Like one reader said, we can’t take the usual government approach and throw this together, dust off our hands, and pat each other on the back. You would think that most of you who dealt with the Medicare Part-D bullshit would understand that. This is huge, and its with our money, so we should demand that it be perfect, well thought out, or we’re just throwing money away. And to the federal workers to got offended by my joke about the ‘government conspiracy’, get back to work, quit wasting time reading my website, and dont be so easily offended by the unfaulting sweeping brush that I make jokes under.

  88. Big Bad Bald Bastard said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:39

    Added to that sadness is the very unfair truth that a woman’s salad days are shorter than a man’s — really, in this precise context, only from about 15 to 20.

    Pervyshire!

  89. The Angry Pharmacist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:40

    P.S.

    FUCK ALL YOU WELFARE BREEDERS!!!!

    Good luck finding your precious Vicodin and Soma when the government runs us out of businesses. That’s right, welfare parasites, we do it for the money! And when we can’t make money, we’re going away!

  90. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:45

    take a pill, Mary.

  91. Jay B. said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:46

    it’s bad when the pharmacists pilfer too much from their stock.

  92. Helen Girlie Browne said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:50

    Isn’t that Spermela Anderson from the Bay [of Pigs] Watch?

  93. Righteous Bubba said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:50

    That’s right, welfare parasites, we do it for the money! And when we can’t make money, we’re going away!

    Okay.

    Welcome, immigrants!

  94. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:51

    Petulant Pharmacist said:

    we’re going away!

    …and not soon enough.

  95. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:52

    wordpress eated my previous, funnier comment.

    FY with a humorless dildo, WP.

  96. Righteous Bubba said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:53

    A poll sez Sarah Palin in the running if she wants to be.

  97. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:55

    The Angry Pharmacist said,
    July 17, 2009 at 2:37

    A buncha shit. Nothing whatsoever to do with bikinis or PENIS or POOP. That’s okay, totally random non-sequiturs are par for the course.

    The Angry Pharmacist said,
    July 17, 2009 at 2:38

    Holy shit dude. You fucking type fast.

  98. Orange Tom said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:56

    Our first president, Peyton Randolph, would never have stood for this crap…

  99. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:57

    ctrl-c, ctrl-v, dragon-king.

  100. Josh said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:57

    The best part is the banner ad of a bikini-clad woman on the side of Derbyshire’s article.

  101. dlido said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:59

    “People believe that email is free, so as a result I get thousands of spam messages a day to my inbox.”

    I don’t, I’ve had the same email addy for about ten years and I get hardly any junk mail. It is more likely that the chair to keyboard interface is defective. I advise a replacement unit. One that isn’t a moron.

  102. slip said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:59

    Get Off My Phone!!!!! My Blue Blanket, Give Me My Blue Blanket!!!!!!!!

    AHHHHHHNYUUUUUUUUNYYUUUUGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  103. dlido said,

    July 17, 2009 at 2:59

    That wasn’t funny.

  104. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:03

    copypasta? Nah, couldn’t be. Look at the passion, the anger, the outrage. Clipboard can’t handle raw human sentiment like that.

  105. The Angry Pharmacist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:04

    I went to four years of college, and three years of grad school. And I sure as shit didn’t go there to make the same amount of money as a teacher or some fucking high school educated police officer.

    You try dealing with some rednecks and welfare trash who want their Soma and Vicodin early. I have a very hard job, and expect to be compensated accordingly.

  106. King Kot of the Kooba Kingdom said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:09

    You would think that most of you who dealt with the Medicare Part-D bullshit would understand that.

    Oh, fuck you, A.P., yeah the present system is just SO much better with all the different cards and processors and numbers and outsourced help desks and shit.

    Funny thing is, pretty much every damn time I put a claim through to Tricare it goes right through. I’ve been pharmacisting for the last 2 and 1/2 years and I’ve yet to have the kind of shit with them that we get regularly with the HMOs.

    Irresponsible humans have a nasty of habit of seeing “free” and totally abusing the shit out of it thinking it is indeed free when its not. Its free to them, but costly to someone else.

    PRERVENTATIVE. CARE. You fucking USE the system to take care of the small inexpensive things BEFORE they turn into massively expensive catastrophic endeavours. Get the person regular check-ups and support them in a healthy lifestyle BEFORE they need the heart surgery, much less the non-generic beta blockers and ACE inhibitors the idiot doctor prescribed ’cause he “doesn’t like to write for generics”. (Don’t tell me you haven’t seen it. I’m sure that kind of thing right there is plenty expensive.)

    Why can EVERY OTHER FUCKING INDUSTRIALIZED COUNTRY DO THIS and we can’t? Christ, EVEN CUBA DOES IT BETTER.

  107. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:11

    Dear Angry Complete Lack of Self-Awareness d00d what types really fast,

    You do know that all teachers have four years of college too? Most of them are also required to do additional schooling after that.

    Anyways, I just found it really funny that you go on about having to deal with drug abusers as a reason why you should be paid way more than police officers. And this is from someone who is not all that sympathetic towards the Boys in Blue.

  108. The Angry Pharmacist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:12

    Hey King Kot, you think you can make 85 grand right out of school in fucking Canada? Uh, no!

  109. King Kot of the Kooba Kingdom said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:13

    You try dealing with some rednecks and welfare trash who want their Soma and Vicodin early.

    That’s nice. If you can’t take it, find another job, as free-market yoincks like you always say.

    WTF does some doctor-shopping jerk trying to get his Vicodin early have to do with universal health care, anyway? Hint: The goverment is who’s keeping track of these idiots now and will shut them down. No, keeping EVEN MORE RECORDS isn’t fun, but again, as you guys like to say, WORK’S NOT MEANT TO BE FUN, right?

    Christ. Maybe you OUGHT to find another job. I don’t much care for the American public either and I have a better attitude than you do.

  110. N.C. said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:13

    I went to four years of college, and three years of grad school. And I sure as shit didn’t go there to make the same amount of money as a teacher or some fucking high school educated police officer.

    Maybe teachers should make more, then!

  111. The Angry Pharmacist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:14

    You do know that all teachers have four years of college too? Most of them are also required to do additional schooling after that.

    Yeah, and they know it when they go into, don’t they? They fucking know they will be compensated like shit, and the liberals arts assholes are lucky to get teaching jobs. Try taking fucking advanced chemistry, dipshits.

    I hate retired teachers especially when they want their Vicodin filled early. Fucking HATE retired teachers! They think they know better then me, and they are sucking on the state tit and STILL bitch that the copay is too high! FUCK YOU!

  112. King Kot of the Kooba Kingdom said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:16

    you think you can make 85 grand right out of school in fucking Canada

    So you want the money but you don’t want the work. Sounds like you’re oneathem SOCIALISTS, sunshine.

    And I’m sure what they pay in Canada is still sufficent for a decent living, you greedy twit.

    (BTW, you don’t work in South Carolina, do you? Permit me to say I’d refuse to transfer jack-shit to you if I was PIC were I work.)

  113. King Kot of the Kooba Kingdom said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:19

    You know, I don’t even think it IS “The Angry Pharmacist”, just some asswipe troll who cut & pasta’d something from his site.

    This guy is an inifnitely better read. Angry and yet not a right-wing humorless dildo.

  114. St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:21

    So has the Angry Piefilter said it would refuse to distribute contraceptives on account of they’re BORSHUN PILLZ yet?

    Can’t be arsed looking, myself. But how would it be to make 85 grand to play church and refuse to do your job at work?

  115. Jennifer said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:25

    And when we can’t make money, we’re going away!

    OMG, he’s revealed their secret plan!

    If we get health care reform passed, the health care industry is gonna GO GALT!!!

  116. St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:25

    If we get health care reform passed, the health care industry is gonna GO GALT!!!

    I’m sure they’ll find takers everywhere else on Earth once they escape us ingrates.

  117. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:27

    FUCK YOU!

    d00d, I’m sorry your life sucks. Sure you get a decent wage, but wow- do you ever hate your job. That’s pretty darned sad. Is it because everybody hates your guts? Well that’s probably because of all the rage and bile you got floating about. Really, the whole “angry as hell, won’t take it any more” thing is great at a distance or for short periods at a time. But if every little thing causes you to convulse in paroxysms of Malkin-esque frenzy – you probably got a problem.

    Maybe it’s a chemical imbalance. I’m sure you’ve got some reference material to read about it. Just don’t go and self-medicate. Sure you’re a pharmacist, but you really should have an outside contact who’s aware that you’re going to play with your brain chemistry. You know, the reason why you should never drop acid alone.

    Anyways, I hope for your customer’s sake, that you learn to deal with some of these issues you’ve got. ‘Cause you got ‘em.

  118. RedCon said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:39

    I am a Republican but hate religious Republicans. Yeah, I will fucking fill your Plan B. Just so there’s no more welfare trash sucking Uncle Sams tit.

    And, FYI, I’m in California.

  119. St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:41

    Yeah, I will fucking fill your Plan B.

    Forgot to change your nym, Skippy.

  120. St. King Kot of the Kuba Kingdom said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:44

    Anyways, I hope for your customer’s sake, that you learn to deal with some of these issues you’ve got.

    If he was my pharmacist I’d change pharmacies.

    To Wal-Mart.

    And my hatred of Wal-Mart is legendary.

    Fuck, if I was his tech I’d fucking TRANSFER to Wal-Mart.

  121. St. King Kot of the Kuba Kingdom said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:45

    HA!

    Fucking PWNED!

    I knew it.

  122. RedCon said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:47

    HAHA just trollin’ Leftists!

  123. D. Aristophanes said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:50

    Will we see you at the Drinking Sadlyly Drinking Drinkathon this Saturday, RedCon? Hope so!

  124. King Kot of the Kuba Kingdom said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:51

    Hey, RedCrotch, nice fucking George Costanza imitation there. You’re a pharmacist like I’m President DeGaulle.

    What’re you going to pretend to be next, loser? (Loser. Yeah, I just answered my own question.)

  125. Another kiwi said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:51

    I’d change my pharmacy to “Humorless Dildoes R Us”.

  126. Cranky Bathroom Attendant said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:51

    Fuck this! I didn’t sign up for this shit!

  127. henry lewis said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:51

    In fucking Canada, doctors are well-compensated and our health care isn’t free.

  128. RedCon said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:52

    Anyways gotta get up early for work! See you later.

  129. kingubu said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:54

    I’d change my pharmacy to “Humorless Dildoes R Us”.

    AEI dispenses drugs? Makes sense, actually.

  130. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:55

    HAHA just trollin’ Leftists!

    HAHA You got me good.

    Seriously though, look into getting your anger issues and depression checked out. It may well be just some chemical imbalance and a few pills a day might make things a lot better. Maybe therapy. Therapy isn’t all new age hippie bullshit – it’s possibly a therapist really can help you work out your issues.

  131. St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:56

    Fucking PWNED! I knew it.

    I feel very lucky to have been the one to get Troofie to fuck up so pitifully like that.

    I’d like to thank my momma and Elvis.

  132. kc said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:56

    Derbyshire: Every female Homo sap., of every age, shape, and tint is in a bikini, including a great many who should not be — including, indeed, quite a few who should be arrested for it.

    He probably hates to see any female over the age of 15 in a bikini.

  133. kc said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:58

    Oops, sorry, Willf, you totally beat me to that.

  134. RedCon said,

    July 17, 2009 at 3:58

    Drinkathon, D. Aristophanes? Maybe. Like I said, just trollin’! All In good fun, etc, and you caught me!

  135. tigrismus said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:00

    I guess those newspapers won’t deliver themselves. Make sure to wear your helmet!

  136. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:01

    Oops, sorry, Willf, you totally beat me to that.

    No worries, like the “Jonah would never eat a sandwich with so many veggies” joke it bears repeating.

  137. Jonah Goldberg said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:06

    No worries, like the “Jonah would never eat a sandwich with so many veggies” joke it bears repeating.

    GIMME A EXTRA BACON WITH CHEETOS SAMMICH!

  138. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:13

    GIMME A EXTRA BACON WITH CHEETOS SAMMICH!

    Close, but you’ve forgotten Jonah’s indefatiguable self-promoting smarminess. Plus he would never give it away so obviosuly – more like:

    Thus we can clearly see the connections between liberals and the baby raping OM NOM NOM monsters that founded Islam. The connections are obvious and I am more than willing to OM NOM NOMprovide as many links as required to support this assertio OM NOM NOM.

    What’s that you say? This is your sandwich? Well then, what is it doing in my hand? No answer huh, well to be expected of someone of such low IQ. Oh and here’s your fucking lettuce back – next time leave that vegetable shit offa my sammich.

  139. Jonah Goldberg said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:19

    A sammich with veggies is a LIBERAL ISLAMOGAYFASCIST connections to the ancient pagans, also the ancient Islam and gays, MORE BACON!

  140. Another kiwi said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:19

    All said in the voice of the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons

  141. Simba B said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:21

    I got a confession.

    I am RedCon.

  142. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:23

    I am RedCon!

  143. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:24

    I am RedCon!

  144. King Kot of the Kuba Kingdom said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:27

    I am RedCon. Also.

  145. Gary Ruppert said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:29

    The fact is, I am RedCon.

  146. Sarah Palin (Flake--Alaska)I said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:32

    I can see RedCon from my house!!

  147. F'in Librul said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:38

    I know we’re moving on, but please enjoy the screencap of the aforementioned bikini ad on The Corner, thanks to putz Derbyshire’s essay.

    Check it out

  148. Righteous Bubba said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:44

    Dear companies that market things that are fun:

    You suck, we hate you.

    Please advertise on our site.

    Yours,
    The NRO Staff

  149. Dragon-King Wangchuck, RedCon said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:44

    I am Spartacus.

  150. The Angry Pharmacist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:47

    Seriously, though. I do exist outside of TrollWorld, and I am a major-league Glibertarian douchebag who would hate universal health care, if only for the fact that I couldn’t make as much money.

  151. Spartacus said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:47

    I am RedCon!

  152. mrak said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:48

    I am RedCon and so is my wife!

  153. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:49

    Seriously, though. I do exist outside of TrollWorld

    Seriously though, both the actual Angry Pharmacist, and much more desperately, the troll who pretended to be him here, need some serious therapy or something.

  154. Maude Lebowski said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:51

    Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Derbyshire?

  155. a concerned citizen said,

    July 17, 2009 at 4:53

    HAHA just trollin’ Leftists!

    Picture me trollin’ in my AMC gremlinz
    I got no love for these libralz, there’s no need to be friendz
    Don’t wanna get another IP number
    I got a fucking gang of names to keep postin under
    Sadly Nobodies wanna see me dead – Tintinz put prices on my head
    Now I got Iris and RedCon by my bed, I feed em lead
    Now I’ve a new IP, how will I live? Will Seb forgive me
    for all the dirt a troll did, to feed hiz kids
    One life to live, it’s so hard to be positive
    when Nobodiez snarkin’ at your crib

    Picture me trollin’

  156. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:00

    I am Tintin.

  157. Tintin said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:01

    I am D. Aristophanes.

  158. D. Aristophanes said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:02

    I am Bill Ayers!

  159. Bill Ayers said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:05

    I am Jeremiah Wright!

  160. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:10

    I am the Eggman.

  161. Dr. Robotnik said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:13

    I am the Eggman.

  162. The Eggman said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:15

    I am Bowser!

  163. Bowser said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:15

    I am K-Lo!

  164. Kathryn Jean Lopez said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:20

    That’s right, liberals.

    I have been trolling you all along.

    I am The Truth/RedCon/The Authentic/RedStater75 etc., and many other names!

  165. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:22

    That’s right, liberals. I have been trolling you all along.

    No wonder you didn’t have any time to do any editing!

  166. The Red Badger of Courage said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:22

    I am Iron Man!!!

    Dunn Dunn Dun-da-daa
    Da-da Da-da Da-da-da Dun-da-daa

  167. Kathryn Jean Lopez said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:23

    Tintin: is he a French, Fag, or Both?

  168. Another kiwi said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:37

    I am

    said Colin McCahon

  169. The Red Badger of Courage said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:40

    I am I said,
    To no one there,
    And no one heard at all,
    not even the chair

  170. Rene Descartes said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:40

    I am.

    …I think.

  171. Darth Vader said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:43

    I am your father.

  172. D. Aristophanes said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:49

    Belgian. Mr. Rastapopolous smokes the French fags.

  173. Knights in White Satin said,

    July 17, 2009 at 5:56

    Derbyshits wit is what some people call “leaden” as in made of lead.

    Velcro crotches: uh-uh, not me. Snaps: maybe. Maybe. I dunno, suppose they, like un-snapped while you’re wooshing down the slide feet first? I think a 2 piece suit that connects at the waist using, hmmm. Rings? Like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman? Gad, what an outfit.

    As for Angry Pharma: I call parody troll. All the pharmacists I’ve known are really nice, very helpful. When they become agitated and irritable it is usually due to some STUPID MEDICAL PLAN. Like, well Blue Cross raised our co-pay, but the employeer got ANOTHER plan to help with the co-pay. So now Ive got 3 cards to hand in with my prescription. The pharmacist asked me if I would give her a half-hour to figure all this out? I said Of Course, went and had a latte.

    Nothing makes any sense any more. My Husband’s employeer mailed him a brand new iPhone and he doesn’t like it. Pfffft. He doesn’t like Apple, he’s a Microsoft kind of guy. Oh well.

  174. Shrewman666 said,

    July 17, 2009 at 6:05

    And with each new comment, PharmCon gets a new asshole torn.

    I imagine that at this point he looks like a swiss cheese.

  175. Smut Clyde said,

    July 17, 2009 at 6:47

    Who’d’ve guessed that Unix and spoonerisms would go so well together?
    Two great tastes, etc.
    Let’s just imagine that I’ve found a link to a classical statue of a Greek or Roman goddess, wearing a buckit on her head. That way someone can point out that I have made a pailed VENUS reference.

  176. Smut Clyde said,

    July 17, 2009 at 7:02

    My research reveals that French for TEH BUTTOCKS is Seignerie D’ARSE.

  177. W. Kiernan said,

    July 17, 2009 at 12:21

    Piller of Fire: I went to four years of college, and three years of grad school. And I sure as shit didn’t go there to make the same amount of money as a teacher or some fucking high school educated police officer.

    You’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.

  178. zombie rotten mcdonald said,

    July 17, 2009 at 13:38

    Knights-

    Just go ahead and have ol hubby send me that iPhone. I’m not so picky.

  179. kg said,

    July 17, 2009 at 14:14

    got to bags of cheetos by my bed,
    I feed ‘em to my head

    (/)

  180. LittlePig said,

    July 17, 2009 at 14:42

    He doesn’t like Apple, he’s a Microsoft kind of guy.

    Pharmacy bill hell, I would think all the black candles and goat sacrifices would be what is really setting you back.

  181. actor212 said,

    July 17, 2009 at 15:01

    And when we can’t make money, we’re going away!

    This is known as Goinggaltazine.

    And when they do, there are thousands of Pakistani and Indian pharmacy students lined up to take those jobs.

    Good luck with that!

  182. Bitter Scribe said,

    July 17, 2009 at 22:35

    Isn’t Derbyshire the guy who wrote that women all go downhill after age 16, or something like that? Maybe he would find junior high swim meets a more congenial environment.

  183. Smut Clyde said,

    July 17, 2009 at 23:15

    Iamb Spartacus in heroic pentameter!

  184. itwasntme Lao Tsu said,

    July 18, 2009 at 0:43

    Posting late because I was…at a water park with four teenagers for two days! I had the exact opposite thought that occurred to the Derb:

    Lao Tsu say

    How beautiful everyone look, all ages, shapes colors and sizes laughing and enjoying! floating merrily down the stream!

  185. Heraclites said,

    July 18, 2009 at 1:16

    How am I supposed to step in the stream even once when it is full of beautiful people all ages, shapes colors and sizes laughing and enjoying!

  186. itwasntme Lao Tsu said,

    July 18, 2009 at 6:58

    Note to Heraclitus: think stream of gasoline…

  187. Righteous Bubba said,

    July 18, 2009 at 7:05

    You’ve seen the cover of Derb’s book, right?

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DJgVg1XpB64/SmDoTJf8VXI/AAAAAAAABlk/Xx–gVe3jJY/s1600-h/51UKyuxepkL._SS500_.jpg

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