6
Life in the Moe Lane
of geranium-scented bubbles with a glass of Two Buck Chuck
It probably goes without saying that a child named Moe doesn’t start the race with everyone else and can be expected to have some, euphemistically speaking, developmental difficulties.* And, of course, parents that would name their kid Moe probably named his brothers Larry and Curly just to make things worse. So it’s not surprising that the ultimate result of this poor choice in child naming would be an addled and dimwitted adult with an enhanced sense of victim-hood and a bad attitude.
Sadlynauts, meet Red State’s Moe Lane!
Seven months since the Wasilla Church Burning … and no arrests; no updates; and no real indication that the federal government is taking seriously an organized attempt to murder mothers and children by setting their church on fire.
Of course, that might be because there are no leads. But Moe, who became awful smart watching the TeeVee, knows that all crimes can be solved. In point of fact, the FBI keeps a gothy-looking girl in some secret basement lab in DC. She can solve any crime. If they had just brought her a cinder from the fire, she would have sniffed it, typed a number into a computer and, the next thing you know, there would be the arsonists driver’s license on her screen!
So, of course, Obama knows exactly who the arsonist is and is protecting him because he’s a Democrat. In fact, Obama is sending the arsonist to arson school so he won’t fuck up the next time he tries to kill Christian children and women while praying.
The response to this should not break down along partisan political lines; I will be pleasantly surprised if this turns out to be the case.
Well, of course, it will break down along partisan lines because Democrats are actively in favor of burning down churches, with or without people in them. In fact, the only churches that Democrats don’t favor burning down are churches where human sacrifices, black masses and gay marriages are performed.
mmy said,
July 6, 2009 at 17:25
It took a couple of years to catch the arsonist that was running around DC a couple of years ago. Arson is a particularly hard crime to solve (since lots of the evidence gets burned up).
actor212 said,
July 6, 2009 at 17:30
It probably goes without saying that a child named Moe doesn’t start the race with everyone else and can be expected to have some, euphemistically speaking, developmental difficulties
It ain’t the name that’s handicapping him…
actor212 said,
July 6, 2009 at 17:33
I see what he does:
He takes this now-highly edited and parsed column, and runs with it.
Smack into a wall and he forget his short-bus helmet.
amocz said,
July 6, 2009 at 17:38
Ahem….enhanced
sincesenseDanny Mason Keener said,
July 6, 2009 at 17:41
I’m convinced this entire post was just an excuse to use the Sterne footnote. And that’s more than fine with me.
The Blarthentic said,
July 6, 2009 at 17:43
Address his post, libs! Blart.
Citizen_X said,
July 6, 2009 at 17:44
Hey, Moe Tucker. So there!
Besides, I came here expecting another Magazine video. Instead, I find reference to some crazy nonsense spouted by right-wingers. Don’t you know there are websites for that kind of thing?
Fredo Corleone said,
July 6, 2009 at 17:45
Tintin, you don’t come to RedState and talk to Moe Lane like that!
Rusty Shackleford said,
July 6, 2009 at 17:47
Why would the federal government investigate this crime? Shouldn’t this be a case for local law enforcement? Maybe they need better mayors.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 6, 2009 at 17:49
Wheeee!!!! Beautiful.
Moe Lane has just written a post about Church Burnings at a place called Red State – and blamed the black guy. Perfect.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
July 6, 2009 at 17:49
@Rusty: Maybe he’s hoping it’s a hate crime and (Trike Force member that he is) is so intellectually dishonest he’s using the fact that Christianity, as a religion, is protected under the statute to argue for investigation.
fardels bear said,
July 6, 2009 at 17:59
So, liberals say Palin is nutsy coo-coo and her church is firebombed and it is liberals fault? But conservatives say abortion is like the Holocaust and that doctors are baby-killers and then those doctors are murdered but this is in no way linked to conservatives?
Is that about it?
Rusty Shackleford said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:00
@Rusty: Maybe he’s hoping it’s a hate crime and (Trike Force member that he is) is so intellectually dishonest he’s using the fact that Christianity, as a religion, is protected under the statute to argue for investigation.
Well, if it’s a hate crime against Christians, it SHOULD be investigated as such. Ironically, the federal legislation Moe derisively refers to would help empower the feds to investigate crimes like these. From Holder’s testimony, which Moe links:
“Although we at the Federal level are strongly committed to hate crimes enforcement, we recognize that most such crimes in the United States are investigated and prosecuted by other levels of government. The pending legislation would assist State, local, and tribal jurisdictions by providing funds and technical assistance to investigate and prosecute hate crimes.”
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:03
Is NCATF still around or did W get around to dismantling it? Anyways,
It is ABSOLUTELY SHOCKING that no arrests, convictions, executions and pogroms enacted against all groups remotely asssociated with the perpetrators haven’t already been concluded by this point in time.
Ginger Yellow said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:06
“And, of course, parents that would name their kid Moe probably named his brothers Larry and Curly just to make things worse. ”
That’s unfair. Mr and Mrs Lane probably meant to call their son Tristan, but there was a mix up with the birth certificate.
g said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:10
So I’m reading here in this newspaper that the press has been ignoring a story.
bayville said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:17
First – and only comment (thus far) – to Moe.
actor212 said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:17
Moe Lane has just written a post about Church Burnings at a place called Red State – and blamed the black guy
Yes, there is such a large black population in Wasilla, Alaska, I’m sure.
Blacks are smart enough to stay the fuck out of cold places like that.
tigrismus said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:18
At the time, several women and children were inside working on a craft project.
You know, maybe soldering spangles to lighters wasn’t such a great idea after all…
PeeJ said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:20
Seven months since the Wasilla Reichstag fire and STILL! no arrests.
PeeJ said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:22
There can be no hate in a crime when conservatives are the targets. Don’t you know that?
What a pleasant surprise! It’s not breaking down into partisan lines! Alas, it is sure to break down along the line between sane and delusional.
tigrismus said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:23
“Results 1 – 10 of about 19,300 for wasilla bible church fire” Very first one is CNN.
kingubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:25
Local crime, local law enforcement. Though, perhaps the AK state police could’ve helped move the investigation along more quickly if the competent ones among them hadn’t been fired by Governor Fewer-Brains-Means-More-Room-For-The-Holy-Spirit for sniffing too close to her corruption.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:26
From the Moe Lane’s source article:
Right on! I mean where were the ulta-liberal CNN or <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28213500/"OlbermaNBC? Doesn’t this count as news that’s fit to print? Lie-beral BIAS!!!!screamty-one11!
Anyways, does that mean that Benjamin Haskell should be thrown into Guantanamo?
tigrismus said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:26
Huh, and the CNN article quotes the reverend of the church stating outright there were no kids in the building, so Mr. “people are uninformed about this!” is uninformed. SHOCKING.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:27
FYWP. My tags were fucking perfect!
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:31
Personally, I blame the Dutch guy.
paleotectonics said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:33
People, this was a holy place, a place of worship, where people came together in community! Any church, ANY church, should get our full support and community, nay, even federal help in rebuilding.
And then tax the everloving blart out of the atavistic mutherfuckers…
gob said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:36
I honestly don’t think I could love this website any more than I do. Every fucking day, you guys hit it out of the park. Mega-kudos.
St. Xecky Gilchrist said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:40
Seven months since the Wasilla Reichstag fire and STILL! no arrests.
Not yet. The reason for Palin’s resignation still hasn’t been revealed. Coincidence?
owlbear1 said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:41
“An organized attempt to murder…”
Or a Meth lab gone bad?
Wasilla, Alaska.
You decide.
wagonjak said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:42
You always make me grin Tintin!…Great snark, nobody does it better then SadlyNo!
There was a period recently where there were very few posts, but glad to see SN! is back in action…THANKS for a good morning laugh.
tigrismus said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:44
Apparently the ATF has been involved since the earliest days of the investigation. What evidence is there that it’s not being taken seriously, the fact that they don’t hold daily pressers discussing a case so cold they’ve been begging for leads since January?
Basharov said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:47
Church arson has been a federal crime since 1996: The Church Arson Prevention Act, 18 U.S.C. 247, prohibits damaging or destroying religious property, or interfering with religious exercise through force or the threat of force, in a manner that affects interstate commerce.
There’s no problem in finding the “affects interstate commerce” requirement, so the F.B.I. has jurisdiction over this crime. As someone pointed out above, it has been only seven months since the fire-bombing, and arson is a difficult crime to trace, so it seems unlikely that Holder and the D.O.J. are dragging their feet on investigating this crime. As usual, the paranoid geniuses behind the Red State Trike Force are looking for enemies to slay where there are none.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 6, 2009 at 18:50
Y’know, it’s kind of cute how they have to desperately search for a Democratic conspiracy to justify the fact that criminals actually get away with it more often than not, percentage-wise.
Uncle Ned said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:03
He looks more like a Shemp than a Moe.
Jay B. said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:07
Most of the citizens of Wasillia are obviously hard at work making and distributing meth to do something deranged like burning down a church. It just doesn’t make sense. Unless you consider the whereabouts of the Alaska Democratic Party — who were probably somewhere in Alaska!
Now the pieces are starting to come together.
Uncle Ned said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:08
Actually, he looks like a Schmoe…
Righteous Bubba said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:09
Moe Lane wields the Crayola of Conclusion for us all.
stogoe said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:15
I can’t believe that no one has yet expressed outrage that Tintin would dare to link the resplendent Abby Sciuto to the FBI. As if. [/whargarrbl]
Cowalker said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:16
Well, if Moe really cares . . . . *
Another fire considered suspicious hits Valley
But of course he doesn’t.
*ironically introductory ellipses
Judas Peckerwood said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:19
I resent your implication that names are destiny.
owlbear1 said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:26
Is Moe is agitating for Obama to wiretap Alaska?
Jennifer said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:34
Most of the citizens of Wasillia are obviously hard at work making and distributing meth to do something deranged like burning down a church. It just doesn’t make sense.
It makes a lot more sense when you understand that the fire occured during the church’s annual fundraising meth cook-off.
PeeJ said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:42
Need some help with that PENIS?
Lunch Lady said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:46
Toasted marshmallows aren’t a good lunch, kid, until you add nutritious graham crackers.
Mo Udall said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:46
One letter makes all the difference bitchez!
Pere Ubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:47
Moe moe moe! Howd’ya like it moe moe moe howd’ya like it howd’ya like it moe moe moe
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 6, 2009 at 19:58
And since we’re talking about crime in Alaska…
PENIS.
Marlow said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:02
Clek-click, ick-auk (We should have come here ages ago)…Skreeeeee!
Mo Rocca said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:03
Amen, brother!
Event Horizon said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:08
Somebody hook a relative newbie up.
What’s the deal with the Lunch Lady?
owlbear1 said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:18
What’s the deal with the Lunch Lady?
We try not to ask and just make sure nothing on the tray is still moving.
Have some ketchup, it’s a vegetable you know.
Jennifer said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:19
Damn, I come up with an awesome joke about a church fundraising meth cook-off, and no one notices.
I’m not feeling the love, people.
Marco said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:20
Oh please, won’t the Sadly do a piece on the rampant number inflation of the Texas tea party being 35k strong? Please. It’s over at the new & improved Free Republic – Fox Nation – right now and it is truly hilarious.
Marco said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:20
Oh, I’d also like to hear some old Stones, when you guys get a chance.
Djur said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:22
Jennifer: I noticed it, but I was too high to reply.
Steerpike said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:29
OK, Jennifer. How about, instead of “baking bread” the churge ladies thought they said “breaking bad”?
tim said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:30
I nearly always get giddy whenever I see a Moe Lane post. He’s definitely one of my favorites. Always an incomprehensible, strain of consciousness, mess of an author.
actor212 said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:36
Wasilla Reichstag fire
PeeJ FTW
Pere Ubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:37
a church fundraising meth cook-off
Brings a whole new meaning to the term “Crystal Cathedral”.
actor212 said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:39
It makes a lot more sense when you understand that the fire occured during the church’s
annualweekly fundraising meth cook-off.Fixed for accuracy.
commie atheist said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:39
The AP article that Dragon-King W cites clearly tied the arson to homo terrorists:
The 1,000-member evangelical church was the subject of intense scrutiny after Ms. Palin was named Senator John McCain’s running mate. Early in her campaign, the church was criticized for promoting in a Sunday bulletin a Focus on the Family “Love Won Out Conference” in Anchorage. The conference promised to “help men and women dissatisfied with living homosexually understand that same-sex attractions can be overcome.”
The fire was set at the entrance of the church and moved inward as a small group of women were working on crafts, Chief Steele said. The group was alerted to the fire by an alarm.
Case closed. The homos done it.
Mrs Tilton said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:41
In fact, the only churches that Democrats don’t favor burning down are churches where human sacrifices, black masses and Islamic gay marriages abortions are performed
FTFY.
That One Arrested Development Episode said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:42
“Definitely the work of a flamer.”
Mrs Tilton said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:42
“marriages” above should be struck through. Tag works in preview, but apparently not in real life. Curse you, WP; curse you with a thousand curses.
actor212 said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:42
The AP article that Dragon-King W cites clearly tied the arson to hoMOE terrorists
I think that sums up the problem right there.
Pere Ubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:42
As well as “building the Church on this rock”.
commie atheist said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:52
Everyone should read Moe’s source material that actor212 brought up earlier, because it’s awesome in its awesomeness. The author cites several possible reasons for the fire, including this one:
The Wasilla Bible Church has an all-white congregation (While the oft race-baiting press is always quick to cover a predominantly black church being fire-bombed in an attempt to re-inflame the hostilities of the civil rights era, coverage of white victims in the very Republican state of Alaska may evoke sympathy for the wrong side of the aisle.
http://www.examiner.com/x-5919-Norfolk-Crime-Examiner~y2009m6d11-Why-did-the-press-ignore-the-firebombing-of-Sarah-Palins-church
It only gets better after that. Clearly, some weapons-grade wingnuttery.
commie atheist said,
July 6, 2009 at 20:57
Actually, that’s one of the reasons for the massive media coverup of the crime. Here’s one of the possible reasons for the arson:
…during the months after Palin was chosen as John McCain’s running mate, teams of Democratic Party operatives swarmed the Wasilla area in an attempt to uncover any dirt that could be used against the Governor.
Could it be that a few of the more zealous Democrat operatives stayed-on and took their devotion to party a step further, and actually set the blaze?
Yes, those Democratic party operatives, upset about being unable to dig up any dirt on Palin, decided to firebomb her church. The ability to come up with that kind of connection leaves me speechless.
Here's a long distance dedication to Marco, from one Smilin' Sarah in Juneau, Alaska said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:01
“It’s just my nineteenth nervous breakdown…”
Cowalker said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:06
at 20:42 Mrs Tilton said,
Hmm. Much like the invisible hand of the market I guess.
Republican God Channeler said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:06
The ability to come up with that kind of connection leaves me speechless.
Self-victimimizating is hard work!
FlipYrWhig said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:08
Wouldn’t Mr. Lane of RedState be properly dubbed “Moe Lane Rouge”?
Pere Ubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:08
Jennifer – I knows how ya’ feel.
I thought “build the Church on this rock” was teh funn-nay.
Pere Ubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:09
“Moe Lane Rouge”
La Cage a Fuckwits
PeeJ said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:10
Well, ca, since Sarah had ALREADY LOST THE ELECTION when the arson occurred, it was obviously the work of Democrat operatives who were so angry that they…um,…. well, I’m sure it makes sense to them.
Also, for you naifs who haven’t battled WordPress for years, try the [strike] tag. With little angly brackets, of course.
tigrismus said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:10
Yes, those Democratic party operatives, upset about being unable to dig up any dirt on Palin, decided to firebomb her church.
Obviously part of the Great Liberal Freak-Out occasioned by the election of John McCain. Frankly, I’m surprised only one white Jesusite church was bombed.
Steerpike said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:11
How about some props for the “Breaking Bad” reference?
Undress by roast, libs!!
Reference Gods said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:13
Pssh, good luck, Steerpike. Fuckin’ libs can’t even acknowledge a Godfather reference.
PeeJ said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:14
Who’s mowing the lane now?
FYWP
FYWPFYWPFYWPFYWPFYWP
FYWPFYWPFYWPFYWPFYWPFYWPFYWP
Righteous Bubba said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:14
What we share with Republicans is that we are all victims now.
Steerpike said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:16
I’ll bet there’s a Chinese conservative who writes exactly the same kind of stuff. Hi name is—-wait for it—-Lo Mein!
*ba-doom-bum tisshh
These are the jokes, people
Tommmcatt said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:17
The homos done it.
I was no-where near Wasillia when that happened. It was totally Actor.
kingubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:19
What this thread needs is more PENIS.
owlbear1 said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:22
Moe Lane
RougeRubeJust a thought.
commie atheist said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:25
I hereby give props to every joke and obscure reference that has appeared on this thread.
Steerpike said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:26
Thanks Commie. I needed that validation.
commie atheist said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:28
kingubu, I’ll see your Goo on the Loose, and raise you a Burger King Blow Job:
http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/comments/burger_king_ad_shoves_seven_incher_in_her_face_so_she_can_have_it_their_way/
Mo's Bike Shop said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:30
Fxx0rd
Jennifer said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:31
I thought “build the Church on this rock” was teh funn-nay.
Checking back in and seeing it now, so do I, Pere.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:31
Back again after an extended absence last week…we were celebrating the 1,000,000th gay abortion since Malcolm X Obama stole the election. Then I saw that “Best Thread EVAH” thread with 600+ comments.
It really was the best thread evah! Reading the normal troll-filled post leaves one feeling bloated, cranky, out-of-sorts, with a bad taste in the mouth. This one was different. It was like gorging yourself on bottle after bottle of the most delicious Coke made with cane sugar like you get in the Caribbean or Europe. Refreshing, fun, engaging, and entertaining. It
shouldmust be in the top 10 S,N! list.Bookmark it, bibs.
PeeJ said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:52
With little
anglyangry brackets, of courseHey! Watch it with the fucking racist jokes.
actor212 said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:52
Yes, those Democratic party operatives, upset about being unable to dig up any dirt on Palin, decided to firebomb her church.
Like the robots of Krikkit, they decided it was a beautiful church.
It would have to go
Steerpike said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:56
Actor–Douglas Adams ref, I believe?
actor212 said,
July 6, 2009 at 21:59
Aye, et ware.
N__B said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:00
Tag works in preview, but apparently not in real life.
Letterman went down the route of making Tag Palin jokes and look what happened to him.
Troofy said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:02
Incest my roast, libs!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:06
He was a hard-headed man
He was brutally stupid, and she was terminally petty
She ran for veep, the moose-hunter from –
Wasilla, which is a cold, cold city
She had a nasty reputation as a brainless twit
She said she could see – Russia from her house
They had this in common:
They were both dumb as bricks
She’d say, “You betcha, you betcha” and he’d get a stiff dick
Blogging on Red State
Surely make you lose your mind.
Blogging on Red State.
kingubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:13
Not the Eagles, man.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:16
Well, what did you expect in a thread titled “Life in the Moe Lane”?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:26
Oh fuck. I see what you mean. I guess I killed the thread – and I hadn’t even busted out Desperado.
Steerpike said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:31
No Moe Thread
It was getting kind of Lane anyway
The thread is dead–Long Live the Thread!!
Pere Ubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:43
and I hadn’t even busted out Desperado
It’s like he’s out riding fences or something!
Smart and lazy Clyde said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:44
They poke him with their snarky jibes
but they just can’t kill den Beste.
St. Xecky Gilchrist said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:47
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:06
He was a hard-headed man
He was brutally stupid, and she was terminally petty
“Terminally petty” FTW.
PeeJ said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:49
Damn. There aint much I can do with Nyong-Et-Mfoumou.
owlbear1 said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:52
Don’t forget petty’s band, “The Methmakers”.
Steerpike said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:55
Petty’s first (and better) band was “Meth Crutch”
LD said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:56
Not to derail the thread or anything, but what was the official outcome of the feared 4th of july Tea bagging protest? I saw some references on site, but couldn’t find them now. Is there going to be a thread about it?
Xecky Gilchrist said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:59
what was the official outcome of the feared 4th of july Tea bagging protest?
It made it so that Obama’s birth certificate magically appeared and said he was born in Kenya, so McCain has been president all along, no take-backs. Exactly as planned.
But srsly, I forgot all about it. I suspect that’s pretty much the impact it had on everyone.
Djur said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:59
Has someone noticed that the vice president of the Young Republicans, in trouble for chortling at a comment using the word “coon” in her Facebook profile, is 38 years old? Why are all the “young Republicans” in their 30s and 40s?
Pere Ubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 22:59
Nyong ate Mofo?
Xecky Gilchrist said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:00
Why are all the “young Republicans” in their 30s and 40s?
Do you have to ask? That is young for a Republican these days.
PeeJ said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:01
Maybe Moe is an acronym.
Minimum operable equipment or Minimal ouptut energy? Or, mean oblique error..
OneMan said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:02
In the midnight hour
She cried moe, moe, moe
With a rebel yell
She cried moe, moe, moe
Wowww
In the midnight hour, babe
Moe, moe, moe
With a rebel yell
Moe, moe, moe
He dont like lib’ruls
He wont sit and beg
But when he’s tired and lonely
Sarah sees him to bed
His mind runs free
He imagines her to be, babe
What sets him free
And drives him out of his tree
Because
In the midnight hour
She cried moe, moe, moe
With a putrid smell
She cried moe, moe, moe
Wowww
In the midnight hour, babe
Moe, moe, moe
With a little yelp
Moe, moe, moe
Pere Ubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:04
chortling at a comment using the word “coon” in her Facebook profile
You know, I wish they’d just go ahead and bust out the “n” word and fucking get it over already. It’s so obvious they’re itching to.
kingubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:10
Teh GOS has a few posts up this morning regarding Teabaggin’ 2: The Baggening.
Long story short: Most drew literally dozens and at one of the few that did draw more than a thousand people (in TX) Sen. Cornyn and Gov. Perry got booed by the Baggers as being “part of the problem” (Cornyn for voting for Bush’s bank bailout, Perry for supporting a TX toll-roads project).
Really, that fact that most everyone (here and elsewhere) forgot that it was even happening is all you need to know.
Steerpike said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:15
iTeh GOS has a few posts up this morning regarding Teabaggin’ 2: The Baggening.
No, no, it’s “Teabaggin’ 2: Electric Bagaloo”
g said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:16
Do you have to ask? That is young for a Republican these days.
That’s the age they are when they commit their “youthful indiscretions.”
truculent and unreliable said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:18
…Perry for supporting a TX toll-roads project…
They have a problem with toll roads??? Other than the fact that the toll roads were built by the government, I would think that all toll roads would be the ideal model for a Free-Thinking American Capitalist asshole.
Djur said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:18
In defense of the coon-chortler, the fact that there was 8 minutes between the offensive remark and the approving response (and that previous to the offensive remark, the same person said something equally nutty but not racist) does not really convince me of her guilt. What with Facebook being all ajaxy these days, it’s perfectly possible to have it open for over 8 minutes before writing a response to a particular thread.
It still doesn’t speak well of her, of course, but neither does being the vice president of the Young Republicans.
truculent and unreliable said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:23
What with Facebook being all ajaxy these days, it’s perfectly possible to have it open for over 8 minutes before writing a response to a particular thread.
Yes, but you can always delete a comment on a thread, or even the entire post. The fact that she left it up either means that a) she thought it was okay, or b) that she completely lacks the political acumen to realize how bad it would look. Maybe both.
Duros62 said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:24
I’ll bet there’s a Chinese conservative who writes exactly the same kind of stuff. Hi name is—-wait for it—-Lo Mein!
Here
http://instantrimshot.com/
You earned it.
Pere Ubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:32
Hi name is—-wait for it—-Lo Mein
A noodly kind of guy, for sure.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:35
working on crafts
So that’s what they call it.
Steepike, you are on FIRE on this thread!
…kinda like that church.
tigrismus said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:35
Not only did she leave it up until it got too hot, she apparently unfriended the two folks who spoke up against it. linky
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:37
This crime would have been solved if Wasilla had gotten the $1.3 million dollars Mayor Palin requested for the purchase of patchouli-sniffing dogs.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:38
On our way back from the 1,000,000 Gay Abortion Celebration, we came across one of these here teabagging protests in person. It was in the medium-sized, red-necky town of Liberty, pop roughly 10,000, in upstate NY. I estimate 150 people there.
I laughed. I cried. I took pictures. Then I laughed at them as I drove off.
What a bunch of dumb clucks. There were far, far more people at the July 4th parade/street fair in the center of that town.
Interestingly, the Teabagging Party organizing page on the Intertoobz lists the mess as being led by a “Richard Yaun”, and it was right across from a street called “Yaun Avenue”. This illustrated the grassrooty nature of the thing….
Djur said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:38
OK, yeah, she’s a fucking racist.
And I see that the young republicans are ‘under 40′, which makes one wonder why a 38-year-old would be their vice president.
Ninkasi, the Sumerian Goddess of Beer said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:42
Moe isn’t the name his parents gave him
But nobody calls him Maurice
Cause he doesn’t speak with the pompetus of love.
Pere Ubu said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:45
being led by a “Richard Yaun”
And a Yaun-fest I’m sure it was.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:47
And a Yaun-fest I’m sure it was.
I dunno, Dick Yaun has some possibilities.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:47
Not only did she leave it up until it got too hot, she apparently unfriended the two folks who spoke up against it.
Cue repig whining about the “liberal media” and “unfair bloggers” in 3..2..1…
slip said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:50
Moe moe moe! Howd’ya like it moe moe moe howd’ya like it howd’ya like it moe moe moe
The chilluns needs a vizual.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
July 6, 2009 at 23:50
I dunno, Dick Yaun has some possibilities.
I didn’t even catch this. Shows how phonetically challenged I am. On that theme, maybe it was actually a goatse production.
Teabagging – dick yaun – goatse – teabagging…
IT’S ONE BIG CIRCLE! Oh noes!
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:04
goatse … IT’S ONE BIG CIRCLE!
I see what you do there.
J— said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:06
That kid’s name was Moe Lane, and the site he help build was RedState. This was a great man, a man of vision and guts. And there isn’t even a plaque, or a signpost or a statue of him at that site.
Pere Ubu said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:06
Dick Yaun – isn’t that what that new ad from Booger King is all about?
commie atheist said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:18
Dick Yaun – isn’t that what that new ad from Booger King is all about?
You mean this one?
http://www.womanist-musings.com/2009/06/burger-king-offers-women-seven-inches.html
commie atheist said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:19
Wasn’t Dick Yaun the original Darren from Bewitched?
Disemvoweled troll: Let's cap and trade oxygen! said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:25
Lt’s cp nd trd xygn!
By Jms Lws
ngh lrdy wth crbn cp nd trd. sy lt’s cp xygn, nd thn tx ny fmly tht cn’t chv th vrg Fmly xygn Trgt f 80% BTS (Bfr bm xygn Trdng Schm). Rmmbr, f y wrn’t nhlng ll tht 2 y wldn’t b blchng t clds f nxs C2. Yck. Ys, knw l rfnrs smll bd nd cl lks drty. Bt nn f tht crbn wld vr s th lght f dy f t wrn’t fr ll th xygn y sck n, y grd bckt. S lt’s gt dwn t rt css.
Hr’s th gl. f w cn nly gt fv blln ppl rnd th wrld t brth 20% lss xygn pr prsn, w wld Sv th Plnt frm Glbl Wrmng. Jst lk tht!
Twnty prcnt lss 2 gng nt yr bdy mns 20% lss C2 t-gssng, tm-fr-tm. t’s jst lk cttng dwn th wrld ppltn by blln plltng xygn hgs.
Cppng xygn s ctlly th hrdst prt. nc y lrn t ct dwn yr ntk, w jst st p mrkt t trd ffcl crdts fr th nbrthd 2 tht y cld hv nhld bt ddn’t. Lt’s ssm fr th sk f plntry cmptr mdlng tht y cn prsnlly ct dwn yr brthng by 20%. Try t! Jst hld yr ns nd brth thrgh strw. nd whn y gt tht strngld flng, jst rmmbr y’r Svng th Plnt. Ly bck nd thnk f Pl Krgmn.
Dd y vr wnt t ls wght? Ths s th clgclly rspnsbl wy t d t. t’s th xygn Sprng Dt. f y brth jst n-ffth lss xygn y’ll b tng n-ffth lss fd, bcs yr bdy ss ll tht xygn t mtblz yr Frnch frs nd ft-brgrs. Th bnfts r t f ths wrld.
Nw hr’s th fr mrkt ngl. Cngrss cn pss lw sttng tht f y chv mr thn th mndtd Ntnl 2 Rdctn f 20% y wll rcv n ffcl S Gvrnmnt xygn Trdng Crdt fr ll th xygn y dd nt brth bynd 20%. t’s lk prc spprts fr frmrs, xcpt tht vrybdy cn ply. Fr nstnc, f y ct yr 2 dwn by 25% y rcv 5% xygn Trdng Crdt, t sll t yr hffng nd pffng nghbrs n fr mrkt bss. f y brth 30% lss, y gt 10% TC. t’s spply nd dmnd!
r cnsdr ths ptn: Fr th vrg fmly f fv — tw dlts, tw kds nd dg — jst gt rd f fmly mmbr. Y cn strt by gttng rd f yr dg. D y hv ny d hw mch xygn rnnng dg brths? D yr Plnt fvr, pls. nd nc y gt th hng f t…
vn crs brth xygn t brn gsln. Ct yr drvng by 20% — ftr ll, y wn’t nd t drv nw tht y’r brthng lss — nd nt nly wll y ct crbn plltn, bt y cn slc vn mr ff yr grdy xygn xcss. nd dn’t frgt tht y cn sll ll yr xygn Trdng Crdts t yr 2-hggng nghbrs.
nc y gt sd t cttng dwn yr 2 y’ll lk yrslf lt bttr. Th Plnt wll thnk y. S wll yr nghbrs.
Try t f y dn’t blv t. Brth n jst lttl bt lss vry sngl dy, ntl y’r dwn 10%, thn 15%, 20% … nd mr? Y cld ctlly bld yr ncm frm th xygn Trdng Crdts f y mng t ct dwn by 30% r vn 40%. Jst brth thrgh tht strw nd hld yr ns.
Rmmbr, xygn s <B>Psn!
Pere Ubu said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:25
Wasn’t Dick Yaun the original Darren from Bewitched?
You’re thinking Dick Yank^H^H^H^H – *ahem*, York.
Pere Ubu said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:27
Ah, Cut&Paste troll… reminding us all that “humor” is merely a word to conservatives.
Simba B said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:27
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Suck it, Twoof.
Simba B said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:28
Suck it? That is what I did with my Daddy last night. MMMmmm
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:30
With little
anglyangry brackets, of courseBrackets are for girly-men. Real bloggers use full-size bracks, which are about 5 times as large.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:32
I like to call brackets Barackets now.
Pere Ubu said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:34
Real bloggers use full-size bracks, which are about 5 times as large.
It’s all about “size” with some guys.
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:37
I know that curly brackets look like this — {} — but which is the larry bracket, and which one is moe?
If the nym-jacking is about to start, I would like the next post under my nym to be a poem about a haircut.
But lofty, noble, tragic, timeless, full of love, treachery, retribution, quiet heroism in the face of certain doom! Six lines, cleverly rhymed, and every word beginning with the letter s!
commie atheist said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:38
Ooh, namejack me, please! I missed out the last time.
Pere Ubu said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:38
But lofty, noble, tragic, timeless, full of love, treachery, retribution, quiet heroism in the face of certain doom! Six lines, cleverly rhymed, and every word beginning with the letter s!
OMFG you did not just make a “Cyberiad” reference.
Trurl & Klaupacius FTW.
Warner Todd Huston said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:39
It’s all about “size” with some guys.
I hz a buck!
Sirius Lunacy said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:40
I can’t beleive all these comments and no one has mentoined the most obvious suspect in the Wasilla church fire. It’s obvious that witchcraft is involved.
Pere Ubu said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:42
It’s obvious that witchcraft is involved.
On which side, though?
commie atheist said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:42
I can’t beleive all these comments and no one has mentoined the most obvious suspect in the Wasilla church fire. It’s obvious that witchcraft is involved.
So, Hillary Clinton did it?
tigrismus said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:43
Six lines, cleverly rhymed, and every word beginning with the letter s!
IN SESTINA FORM.
Tofu Sushi said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:43
Serves those homophobic Xtian fanatics in anyway, they deserve what they go.
Tofu Sushi said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:43
*deserve what they got.
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:45
Grinding gleeful gears, Gerontogyron grabbed…
Feck, wrong sonnet.
Real physicists use bra-ket notation!
Tofu Sushi said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:45
It’s obvious that witchcraft is involved.
Not cool.
Don’t be so bigoted against Wiccans.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:46
Seduced, saggy Smutty snored
Something something
Hey how many “somethings” am I allowed to use?
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:52
Off-topic: OMG U guyz, Robert Mc(Viet)namara died.
commie atheist said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:53
Ooh, namejack me, please! I missed out the last time.
Your wish is my command!
Something about PENIS.
Tofu Sushi said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:53
Off-topic: OMG U guyz, Robert Mc(Viet)namara died.
Maybe Rummy can save him a spot in hell, since he is a fellow genocidal maniac/war criminal.
Euripides said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:54
Before troofie goes all LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL on us I feel it is my duty to point you towards a Stephen Fry Speech I’m reading. I made it to the 4th paragraph and met:
As the saying goes, “I saw this and thought of you.”
Linky
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:55
I think what truly made me understand what a POS McNam was was when the child molester from “Happiness” played him. But that’s just me.
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:56
Hey how many “somethings” am I allowed to use?
As many as you like, as long as they’re all different somethings. And you have to make sure that the verb ‘something’ agrees with the pronoun ‘something’, or people will make mock of your grammar.
Djur said,
July 7, 2009 at 0:57
But, er, Rummy is still alive. Are you suggesting that Donald Rumsfeld is a direct agent of Satan, only on Earth by the fiat of infernal majesty?
Because I’d have to agree with you on that one.
Libs, caress my post!
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:00
Something something
HA HA RB mis-spelled the second ‘something’!
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:00
Phoning it in today, troofie.
Bottom still sore from yesterday, or what?
Tofu Sushi said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:01
But, er, Rummy is still alive. Are you suggesting that Donald Rumsfeld is a direct agent of Satan, only on Earth by the fiat of infernal majesty?
Ah damnit I meant to say “maybe he can save Rummy a spot in hell” but your theory works, too.
Rumsfeld said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:01
We have to go to Hell with the Defense Secretary who died, not the Defense Secretary we WANT to die. *squint*
N__B said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:02
Robert Mc(Viet)namara died.
You sure? I heard his recovery is within reach, right around the corner, just a few more bombings away.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:04
I also micespelled “shaggy” but the result was pleasing.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:08
Not cool. Don’t be so bigoted against Wiccans.
Troll, hyper-super-meta-ironic, or just not got the hang of this place yet?
N__B said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:10
Troll, hyper-super-meta-ironic, or just not got the hang of this place yet?
In a bad mood from falling off her broom?
Tofu Sushi said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:10
Your snark meter is off, Gilchrist.
commie atheist said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:10
Something about PENIS.
Pretty good, not bad, I can’t complain
Actually everything is just about the same
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:14
Your snark meter is off, Gilchrist.
Clearly. Pardon.
Angry Wiccan said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:16
Yeah, I burned that bitch’s church!
B to tha urn-t! Watcha gonna do now?
How ya like me now. boyeee?!
Righteous Bubba said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:18
Once there was a little church
Scorched one night while stars did turn
It’s left the parish in the lurch:
No place to wish a witch would burn.
Tofu Sushi said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:24
Well, who was Palin’s big rival for the nomination?
Romney.
What is Romney?
A Mormon.
And as we all know, Mormons aren’t really Christian.
Anyone else starting to connect the dots?
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:31
Churches on fire
and all the Sadlynauts went Wiccan
Shopping their photos
Of the Governor turned chicken
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:35
I never got name-jacked in the last thread, but I did go back and post a comment so it hits the thousand comments mark.
A start for Smut:
Scissors snicking, severing strands
Stylist’s swayings- seeming sarabands.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:45
Lookit Burt Prelutsky:
Yay! Now I can inform on him and get him sent to the gulag!
D.N. Nation said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:46
Ohh, Troofy. Trying to recapture the magic from this weekend. And with a James Lewis article, too! Oh well.
Djur said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:52
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:52
I have come to see that Fox News is something like our own version of Radio Free Europe
Has Fox News considered using the opening bars of Beethoven’s Fifth at the beginning of every broadcast?
commie atheist said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:54
My heart is black, and my lips are cold
Churches on flame with rock and roll
Three thousand guitars they seem to cry
My ears will melt, and then my eyes
Oh, let Sarah, let that Sarah, rock and roll
Churches on flame now, with rock and roll
Just Alison said,
July 7, 2009 at 1:56
For Smut’s haircut paean – you need the word ‘susurrus’, but I can’t for the life of me bracket it in other s-words.
Joe Max said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:00
Regardless of the link, that was a spoof.
I would never use the expression “B to tha urn-t”.
Joe Max said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:01
Oh, and I’m not a Wiccan. I’m a simple, heretic Pagan scum. Also.
tigrismus said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:03
Any song about Palin’s church and witches needs to include a little bit of “ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang.”
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:14
I think “Wasilla Willa Bing Bang” would work better.
Maybe even “Wasilla Willa Bristol Bang”.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:17
I never got name-jacked in the last thread
Well, time to correct that error!
PENIS. PENIS. PENIS. PENIS.
kingubu said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:18
I’m slightly disturbed by the lack of “Iquitarod” jokes in this thread.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:21
Thank you for the name-jack, but please do it with more flair. Also, I would never write PENIS without a link.
PLZ DO BETTAR!!!
Righteous Bubba said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:22
JanusNode speaks!:
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:24
I’m slightly disturbed by the lack of “Iquitarod” jokes in this thread.
How dare you make a joke about A-Rod having sex with the underage Willow Palin?
Sirius Lunacy said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:26
“He was giving an African prayer to an American Christian,” said Jacob K. Olupona, a Harvard African studies professor. “His prayer reflects his own background and his own training and his own world view. America may not believe in witchcraft, but witccraft is a reality.”
There you go. A shout out to Wiccans from a Harvard professor.
rodert rudis said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:28
Maybe Moe might could snoop around in L.A. and find who he’s looking for:
http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2009/05/three_auburn_men_arrested_in_s.html
J— said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:29
Beenie Man sings the songs of Alaska.
Sin sinner, who burned the church in Wasilla?
Wasn’t I, the Dems them did-a
MSM, they buried that story in a rush
Pass me the keys to my snowmachine
Iesha Beverly-Weasel said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:31
Of the New Hampshire Beverly-Weasels.
Daphne Chyprious said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:31
Hey now, my cousin’s name is Moe (short for Maurice). And his brother is neither Larry nor Curly. Anyway, how ’bout Lane producing a spinoff of a popular series: CSI Wasilla. The gang will solve this church-burning case in one hour minus commercials.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:34
I’m totally disturbed by everything on this thread.
I fear unless each and everyone of you cleans up your assorted acts, along with issuing the appropriate apologies, I shan’t be back.
~
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:35
PLZ DO BETTAR!!!
Arrgggghhh. This name-jacking thing is hard work.
PENIS.
Zarquon said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:37
From Pharyngula:
rodert rudis said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:42
And if Moe ain’t satisfied with that, he can go CCF:
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/02/12/church.fires/index.html
The point is, Church Burning is a Southern thing, like noodling, or eating boiled peanuts, or sweetening tea. Alaska ain’t got nothing on these rednecks.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:45
Several sedatives safely slipped,
Sartorial stature suddenly snipped
Simba B said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:47
Ha ha, wasn’t Troofy’s YouTube profile plastered with Auburn University or something? Please tell me Troofy is sitting in jail right now…
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:49
Oppress my proles, libs!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:54
Ooo Eee Ooh ah ah
Ting Tang Wasilla Willa Bristol Bang
Ooh Eee Ooh ah-ah
Ting Tang Wasilla Willa Bristol Bang.
Now, you’ve been full court pressing me
Just like I was a point guard
And I’ll admit I wasn’t very smart
So I went out and found myself
A job that’s not as hard
And the rest of you can suck it, Sarah-cuda’s outta here!
Iesha Beverly-Weasel said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:54
Watercress on toast, libs!
Tofu Sushi said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:55
Ok, whats so funny about “something something my posts, libs”?
Iesha Beverly-Weasel said,
July 7, 2009 at 2:59
This was very difficult.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:00
Particular trolls have made demands to be answered along those lines. It’s sad and pathetic, as are many of the responses.
Jennifer said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:01
Caress my goats, libs!!!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:03
Wait. RB, are you addressing TS’s post? What are you, some sort of lib?
A dress of stoats, libs. Fur is murder!
a concerned citizen said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:04
Oh Burt, you’re the gift that keeps on giving.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:06
Was my sadness and patheticnes – patheticousn – pathetiticitude in question or something?
Jennifer said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:07
Perhaps that should have been:
“Assess my goatse, libs!!!!”
Righteous Bubba said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:07
Fucking Iesha Beverly-Weasel. I’m going to be cackling about that all night.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:09
OT, but Shithouse Troll goes LOLCat Motivational.
Slow evening here chez Gilchrist.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:10
Geez Gilchrist, animate that.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:11
Geez Gilchrist, animate that.
Beyond my talents, sadly.
rodert rudis said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:11
O.K. So I was wrong. The Church Burning really isn’t your thing. All right then. Try this. Postapocalyptic instructions in various languages.
http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/magazine/17-05/ff_guidestones?currentPage=all#
You got nothing on us, still.
Mrs Tilton said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:17
YCPLoaR,
It was like gorging yourself on bottle after bottle of the most delicious Coke made with cane sugar like you get in the Caribbean or Europe
Hmmm… let’s just try out PeeJ’s helpful tip:
It was like gorging yourself on bottle after bottle of the most delicious Coke made with
cane sugarthe tears of Republicans like you get inthe Caribbean or EuropeCommunisthomoislamiclandFTFY? We shall see…
tigrismus said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:18
Oh Burt, you’re the gift that keeps on giving.
The store won’t take him back. I told them he’s broken but they said he’s supposed to be like that.
Jennifer said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:18
Jesus, Xecky…I’m gonna have to send that link to my mom! (She’s been…privy to the Shithouse Troll for quite a few years now.)
Mrs Tilton said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:18
Calloo! Callay! Strikeage has been acheived! All hail PeeJ, conqueror of WP.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:20
(She’s been…privy to the Shithouse Troll for quite a few years now.)
I wish her great joy of it.
I applaud your telling her about the Troll. Not sure my folks would have understood. Heh.
Malkin's Muff said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:24
Isn’t it obvious that Bill Ayers is the arsonist?
N__B said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:25
Shithouse Troll goes LOLCat Motivational.
Can’t make out the title of the reading material…
Sirius Lunacy said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:26
this and this might help.
Agress my coast MadLibs
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:31
Can’t make out the title of the reading material…
It’s a Sears Roebuck catalog.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:31
Soros sent sheckels, subsidizing
Siginificant strand shortening
Silent susurrus sounded softly
Swift scissors slicing
Shaggy sassenach sees self
Suddenly
SusanshornN__B said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:33
It’s a Sears Roebuck catalog.
Full of lewd undergarment woodcuts, sent by the devil to tempt young boys to unclean habits?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:35
…tempt young boys to unclean habits?
As a young boy, I was sent to a convent for an education and I ended up uncleaning several habits while I was there…
Sirius Lunacy said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:36
Soros sent sheckels, subsidizing
Siginificant strand shortening
Silent susurrus sounded softly
Swift scissors slicing
Shaggy sassenach sees self
Suddenly
Susan shornSeymourN__B said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:38
As a young boy, I was sent to a convent for an education and I ended up uncleaning several habits while I was there…
Such establishments are far from my orbit, but I was under the impression that convents were occupied by those of the female persuasion.
The Roast to 2012 said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:44
Maybe Rummy can save [McNamara] a spot in hell, since he is a fellow genocidal maniac/war criminal.”
The worst hell for those two would be to spend eternity in each other’s company.
Bitter Scribe said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:50
Has Fox News considered using the opening bars of Beethoven’s Fifth at the beginning of every broadcast?
Don’t laugh. NBC used the second movement of Beethoven’s Ninth to close their news broadcasts back in the ’60s, when it was one of the evil biased hippie networks undermining Nixon and the Vietnam War.
Galt's Gulch Water Board said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:51
Subjective GGWB Thread Rating:
Topic: B- (!Malkin-related)
Creativity: B
Offensiveness: B
Enthusasm: C
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 3:58
All right, enough practicisingerating. Smut’s name, like my shit-box, ain’t gonna
tonguejack itself.Some say “something something” somethings
Smoothly. Said souls signify sheenest.
Shaggy slackers – still stylistically smooth
Some seen, some seener, some seenest
Suddenly, shaving seems salient. Serious.
Snip snip snip, sussurus sounds – PENIS.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 7, 2009 at 4:02
FREE TIME ALERT!
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 4:05
…that convents were occupied by those of the female persuasion.
Indeed they are. And for some obscene reason – devoutly religious folks keep sending young boys there so that the nuns can edumacate them. It’s true, I read it in Victorian-era porn!
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
July 7, 2009 at 4:06
Whoops, forgot to un-name jack.
Robert McNamara said,
July 7, 2009 at 4:12
Dammit, I’ve been here a few hours and Idi Amin already made me his bitch. That wouldn’t have been that bad, but then he gave Jack Ruby a shot. That was humiliating. I hope to God that picture of me shaking hands with Ho Chi Minh never gets out.
N__B said,
July 7, 2009 at 4:14
Victorian-era porn!
I spent a very confused four hours on a bus once reading “The Pearl.” Nearly missed Binghamton.
Anson Williams said,
July 7, 2009 at 4:23
Mike Post’s address, libs!
Tofu Sushi said,
July 7, 2009 at 5:00
Hey Robert, have you seen Nixon yet? And is LBJ there?
Robert McNamara said,
July 7, 2009 at 5:06
Believe it or not, Dick’s in heaven. Towards the end he got a buddy at the Moonie Times to print a death notice for Dan Hedaya and one thing led to another. Clever fuck.
Tofu Sushi said,
July 7, 2009 at 5:08
Where’s Ronnie Ray-gun?
Robert McNamara said,
July 7, 2009 at 5:10
At the end of Al Capone’s dick. They call it the “California Pizza Kitchen”.
a concerned citizen said,
July 7, 2009 at 5:10
Did the previous poster fall asleep during a showing of “The Kid Stays in the Picture” and wake up halfway through “The Fog of War”?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
July 7, 2009 at 5:15
Where’s Ronnie Ray-gun?
The only question is which circle.
Tofu Sushi said,
July 7, 2009 at 5:36
I can place every recent American President in either heaven or hell except for LBJ. I don’t know if he rots in hell for Vietnam, or goes to heaven for the Civil Rights Act?
I guess LBJ is in Limbo?
OneMan said,
July 7, 2009 at 5:41
“…I was under the impression that convents were occupied by those of the female persuasion.”
So are whorehouses. Don’t mean men and boys can’t visit ‘em.
Nom de Plume said,
July 7, 2009 at 5:43
I guess LBJ is in Limbo?
Kinda puts the whole heaven/hell thing in perspective, don’t it?
The Blart Amendment said,
July 7, 2009 at 5:53
I’d just like to add: LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
Yank you very much!
OneMan said,
July 7, 2009 at 5:54
“I guess LBJ is in Limbo?”
Didn’t think he’d be flexible enough to do that dance.
Iesha Beverly-Weasel said,
July 7, 2009 at 6:05
Two things: one, it is entirely unnecessary to make me think about Ronald Reagan being sodomized by Al Capone; two, that is entirely unfair to Mr. Capone, since all he did was kill a few dozen people.
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
July 7, 2009 at 6:25
YOU DEMONCRAPS BURNED DOWN THE ARYAN CHURCH OF WASSILLA AND NOW YOU’VE FORCED MY BELOVED SARAH TO ABORT HER OFFICE IN THE SECOND TRIMESTER OF HER FIRST TERM!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SO-CALLED “COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATISM”, YOU BADGER-HUMPING LIE-BRALS???!!!???
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 6:29
Snip snip snip, sussurus sounds – PENIS.
Much obliged, Dragon-King Wangchuck.
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 6:42
Proof of non-nymjackdom .
Anonymous said,
July 7, 2009 at 6:44
Was his family name originally Ron, Rons, or Rans, by any chance?
Moe “Lane” sounds like a fakeronym to me and it’s not hard to see why he’d want to do that.
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 6:53
Shaggy sassenach sees self
Sassenach? [Dons Cameron-of-Erracht-tartan kilt]. Consider yourself insulted in authentic gaelic.
der svedish chef said,
July 7, 2009 at 6:56
He-a ves a herd-heeded mun
He-a ves tutelly luethsume-a, und she-a ves sooperffeecielly pretty
She-a held heem up, und he-a held her fur runsum in zee heert
ooff zee culd, culd ceety
He-a hed a nesty repooteshun es a crooel doode-a
Zeey seeed he-a ves roothless, zeey seeed he-a ves croode-a
Zeey hed oone-a theeng in cummun, zeey vere-a
guud in bed
She-a’d sey, ‘Fester, fester. Zee leeghts ere-a toorneen’ red.”
Leeffe-a in zee fest lune-a
Soorely meke-a yuoo luse-a yuoor meend, mm
Ere-a yuoo veet me-a su fer?
Ieger fur ecshun und hut fur zee geme-a
Zee cumeeng ettrecshun, zee drup ooff a neme-a
Zeey knoo ell zee reeght peuple-a, zeey tuuk
ell zee reeght peells
Zeey throo ooootregeuoos perteees, zeey peeed heefenly beells
Zeere-a vere-a leenes oon zee murrur, leenes oon her fece-a
She-a pretended nut tu nuteece-a, she-a ves cooght up
in zee rece-a
Oooot ifery ifeneeng, unteel it ves leeght
He-a ves tuu tured tu meke-a it, she-a ves tuu tured
tu feeght ebuoot it
Leeffe-a in zee fest lune-a
Soorely meke-a yuoo luse-a yuoor meend
Leeffe-a in zee fest lune-a, iferytheeng ell zee teeme-a
Leeffe-a in zee fest lune-a, uh hooh
Blooeen’ und boorneen’, bleended by thurst
Zeey deedn’t see-a zee stup seegn,
tuuk a toorn fur zee vurse-a
She-a seeed, “Leestee, beby. Yuoo cun heer zee ingeene-a
reeng. Ve-a’fe-a beee up und doon thees heeghvey;
hefee’t seee a guddem theeng.”
He-a seeed, “Cell zee ductur. I theenk I’m gunna cresh.”
“Zee ductur sey he-a’s cumeen’, boot yuoo gutta pey heem cesh.”
Zeey vent roosheen’ doon thet freooey,
messed eruoond und gut lust
Zeey deedn’t cere-a zeey vere-a joost dyeen’ tu get ooffff
Und it ves leeffe-a in zee fest lune-a
Leeffe-a in zee fest lune-a
der svedish chef said,
July 7, 2009 at 6:58
REDRESS MY BOAST, LEEBS!
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 7:07
She can solve any crime. If they had just brought her a cinder from the fire, she would have sniffed it
But her sense of taste is such that she’ll distinguish with her tongue
The subtleties a spectrograph would miss.
OneMan said,
July 7, 2009 at 7:36
Proof of non-nymjackdom .
Awww, such a cute picture of Trig. Or Tripp. Or Saws-All. Or Trigger.
Whatever.
Smut Clyde said,
July 7, 2009 at 7:44
I took it to be Rush Limbaugh.
Quaker in a Basement said,
July 7, 2009 at 10:12
Nearly 300 comments and only one mention of Shemp? Good God, people!
justme said,
July 7, 2009 at 10:34
I may have to take a, er, poke at that a bit later. I can’t seem to find the original shitter pic, though. I can fudge something, I’m sure.
And announce her decision
While demanding her reward
The jellyfish kiss.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
July 7, 2009 at 17:31
I can’t seem to find the original shitter pic, though. I can fudge something, I’m sure. I can’t seem to find the original shitter pic, though. I can fudge something, I’m sure.
Search for “outhouse seat” on flickr, title is “Sears Awaits”. I’d rather there not be a link coming right from here because the image is copyrighted, so I’m a horrible thief for using it, and I definitely can’t recommend that you download it and make a hilarious animation out of it, wink wink.
The hand is, of course, God’s own from The Creation of Adam.
justme said,
July 7, 2009 at 18:49
Yeah, I recognized Teh finGAHs.
I’ll sniff around the outhouse seat on flickr and see what I find.