Jul
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The death drive
As the great Dolemite would say, “What the shit is this?”
I can’t think of one other country in the entire history of the world where right-wing pundits go on TV and pine for a devastating nuclear attack on their own country just so they can say they were right all along. Not even Iranian government officials, crazy as they are, sit around saying, “Y’know, I hope the infidels bomb the hell out of us just so we can expose the Reformists as a bunch of wimps.”
maya said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:22
Well, at least they had the good taste to remove their lapel flags for this one.
actor212 said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:25
I think we should encourage a movement that has Glenn Beck speaking for the Republican party, since no one, not even newt Gingrich, can muster more than 2% of Republican support.
alec said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:25
I like this belief that the American public are terrified sheep and only respond to unprecedented violence. Something tells me the first thing Beardo did on 9/11 was go to the Red Cross and accuse everyone there of being too faggy to join the Air Force.
mad the swine said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:30
… and you know the really ironic thing? In every major attack on American soil – Pearl Harbor, 9/11, even, to some extent, Oklahoma City – Americans have done exactly the opposite of what Jowly MacWalrusstache up there expects. When Americans rally against atrocities, we rally around our government and unite against the common foe, even if that government is composed of our bitterest political foes (see: Republicans after 1941, Democrats after 2001). We don’t respond to external threats by dissolving into civil war, because that would be just fucking stupid. Kind of like Glenn Beck.
Ted the Slacker said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:33
Shorter Scheuer – “We only way we win is with a pyrrhic victory.”
mad the swine said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:38
And now that I think about it? After 9/11, there was a group of politicians and pundits and public figures who tried to do what this twit is hoping to do after insert-date-here. They argued that certain government policies had created conditions that made such an attack inevitable, and that the government needed to change those policies in order to make the country safer. And what did the hypocritical little shits like Beck and his ilk say about that then?
Oh, yeah. TREASON. These fuckers were almost hanging nooses from lampposts over the idea that maybe, just maybe, support for repressive dictatorships and a constant armed presence in the Middle East was a bad fucking idea. And now they’re popping boners over the idea of using Osama bin Laden to overthrow the fucking government… so can we call them traitors now? Can we, please?
Pope Buck I said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:38
Yeah, but at least they aren’t goddamn LIBERALS, who hate their government, hate their country, and want the terrorists to win.
Because – heeeeeyyy, wait a minute.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:46
So, asking Glenn Beck to pay a 1% increase in his taxes is treason, but begging for the deaths of thousands of U.S. citizens to make a political point is patriotism.
Got it.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:48
Oh, incidental, when I looked at that camera still, I thought Dr. Beardface there was wearing a red Glenn Beck armband.
Which i don’t think is something they’ll be very far off from soon.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:48
St. Trotsky, you’re right.
I’m hoping that soon one of these dipshit courtier villagers will have a big Howard Beale moment and stand there screaming “Everyone knows only the rich people matter! Fuck you, everyone who makes less than $10M a year! FUCK YOUUUUU!!!”
OneMan said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:49
It occurs to me that in just about any other country in the world, these asshats and the network that puts them on-air would be shut down.
We’re better than that but goddamn, criticism of this kind of talk needs to be spread far and wide.
MrToad said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:50
It’s a sign of the deep, almost religious, love we have for our country that we want to kill it in order to save it. If you weren’t insane, you would join us.
Rick Massimo said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:55
Well, we love our country very much. We just need to slap it around once in a while because it pisses us off so much by doing that thing it KNOWS we hate, totally on purpose.
paul said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:57
I need to see that as a chyron crawl or caption under their faces every damn time they’re on the boob tube or in the press: “The only hope for us as a country is for Osama bin Laden to deploy and detonate a massive weapon in the United States.”
slippy toad said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:58
It occurs to me that Glenn Beck is a cuntface pindick. And a despicable heap of quivering shit.
Mr. GOP said,
July 1, 2009 at 17:59
So now that Ahmadenijad has stolen the election and is still hellbent on getting a nuke, is Hopey still going to sit down for tea and cookies with him and politely ask him to stop?
Maybe Jimmy Carter can give him pointers.
Fo Shiz said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:00
What the fuck is that squirrel or possum doing glued to his chin?
The Red Badger of Courage said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:03
Excuse me, Mr. Troofie, you still haven’t filled out one of these.
actor212 said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:04
So now that Ahmadenijad has stolen the election
Don’t you feel ashamed that Republican governor Mark Sanford distracted this country from this very important story?
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:06
Well, according to Glenn Beck, if Iran does nuke us and killing thousands of us, it’ll bring the country back together as a whole. Why do you want to stand in the way of Glenn Beck’s dream, troll? Do you hate America like the filthy leftist liberals do, not wanting America to be nuked?
Your lack of love for America and Glenn Beck sickens me, troll.
Iran said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:07
“JUUUUUUUST about to get a nuke since 2003″(TM)
His Grace said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:08
Remember the good ol’ days when holding candlelight vigils in memoriam of soldiers deaths was celebrating their deaths? We were such treasonous bastards. And it was totally different then calling for nuclear terrorist attacks in which thousands if not millions of American civilians die.
st. alec said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:11
You have to remember, they don’t surround us – we surround them. And that means their position is so much better that we either have to drop everything and nuke them or suck their dicks.
Beck has been microwaving his dental dams before cruising for Iranians on Craigslist is what I’m getting at.
Brandi said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:13
Has it been so boring this week that Sadlynaughts are lining up to rape Twoofy like he was a mentally disabled girl in Glen Ridge?
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:14
Beck has been microwaving his dental dams before cruising for Iranians on Craigslist is what I’m getting at.
Oh.
And here I’d figured he’d been using tin foil. Which is terrible for use as a dental dam, I might add. Particularly when you try microwaving ‘em.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:16
Has it been so boring this week that Sadlynaughts are lining up to rape Twoofy like he was a mentally disabled girl in Glen Ridge?
Nah. He’s more an adjunct to getting at what a brazen tit Glenn Beck is. Honestly, they couldn’t project any harder if someone jammed a projectionist’s reel up their asses and plugged them into a wall socket.
alec said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:17
Nah, I just like baiting chickenhawks.
Pere Ubu said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:23
So now that Ahmadenijad has stolen the election
something you guys know plenty about, after all
and is still hellbent on getting a nuke, is Hopey still going to sit down for tea and cookies with him and politely ask him to stop?
Yes, ’cause either appeasement or war are the only two possibilites, ever.
And this is the same dipshit who was lecturing us about being adults on the previous thread.
Rip-rappin' Troofy said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:23
My name is Troofy and I’m here to say
I said “bookmark this” for election day
I’m hip and cool just like the GOP
And you liberals can’t address me
Troofy’s my name, trollin’s my game
Holla if you hear me
"Hopey" said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:24
I’m the thinking man’s “B. Hussein”.
Pere Ubu said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:29
Why does the title of this post make me think of nothing so much as the episode of “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” where the Mooninites were encouraging Major Shake to “use his Philips-head Death Driver”?
BTW I see Don Surber’s going to be down at his doctor’s office complaining that he needs more Percocet ’cause the GUMMINT’s going to ban it. He’ll get far with that, I’m sure.
Pere Ubu said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:32
BTW also, Dolemite would describe Glenn Blecch as a “rat soup eating honky motherfucker”, and he’d be pretty much accurate.
Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:32
Hey, folks. What is the deal with these senate pages? We’ve got more pages around here than a drug dealer after an income tax rebate!
Hey-o! *rimshot*
But seriously, folks, God bless America.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:37
Al Franken sounds a lot more like Jerry Seinfeld than I remember.
Also, why does my spell check know what “Seinfeld” is, but draws a blank on Franken?
Quick test… Kramer.
Goddamn!
Meanderthal said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:40
So now that Ahmadenijad has stolen the election and is still hellbent on getting a nuke, is Hopey still going to sit down for tea and cookies with him and politely ask him to stop?
I got 99 problems, but you ain’t one.
Jennifer said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:44
Shorter Scheuer – “We only way we win is with a pyrrhic victory.”
I think it’s actually more like: “Holy shit, if something doesn’t happen soon to scare the serfs back into line, they’re going to end up with health care and who knows what else – and then where will we be?”
lobbey said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:45
Has it been so boring this week that Sadlynaughts are lining up to rape Twoofy like he was a mentally disabled girl in Glen Ridge?
Sadly, yes, looks like the ‘dont feed the troll’ line is slipping…..
Mr. GOP said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:45
I know people from Minnesota look down on southerners as stupid rednecks, but they just elected an unfunny, pompus clown to be their Senator.The fact they elected Stuart Smalley to the Senate says volumes about them.
Pere Ubu said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:45
Wheee, your “adult” GOP at work, from MSN.com:
PHOENIX – The Arizona Senate has given final approval to a bill that would allow people with concealed weapons permits to carry a gun into a business that serves alcohol.
I can’t see how that could possibly go wrong.
Arky4That1 said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:49
And if such an attack did occur and the government responded by taking the steps Shuerely wants, he’d be the first passenger on Air Gitmo.
Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:49
I can do topical, but I’m not gonna work blue for you. Now this Beck guy – pretty crazy, right? You know what’s really crazy? Leaving your wife for some Argentinian broad. No es caliente. You know they had sex – in Argentina!
Seriously, all my prayers are with Governor Sanford and his family. We’re all with you in this time of difficulty.
PeeJ said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:55
Troofie-Woofie, why are you ignoring the fact that our economic situation is caused by teh ghey?
Redress my roast, tard!
Also, Beck + Sheuer = extra wide load of excess human baggage
Pere Ubu said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:55
The fact they elected Stuart Smalley to the Senate says volumes about them.
Yeah, someone should slip a Iranian nuke into the lutefisk and see how they like it, the ungrateful bastards.
After all, they already have a unfunny pompous clown in the form of Batshit Bachmann. Two’s just being redundant.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 18:56
Honestly, after the elected Jesse Ventura, Minnesota’s populace finds new and exciting ways to surprise me in who they bother to elect.
It’s like if Florida named Randy Savage governor.
The Red Badger of Courage said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:03
It’s like if Florida named Randy Savage governor.
Actually, it wouldn’t be that weird. OK, for Savage, yes; however, wrestlers have been getting more vocal in their political preferences the past few years.
Ric Flair was mentioned several times (before his 2006 DWI arrest) as a possible candidate for governor in North Carolina. He also gave his official “WOOOOO!” to Mike Huckabee in 2008.
Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan gave his blessing to Obama last year.
alec said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:04
He’s evidently gotten a lot more actually-libertarian since he retired from American politics, but still, Jesse Ventura. And I could see Savage challenging Crist in the primary, but the base might take issue with the whole “queerin don’t make the world go round” thing. Stinks of heliocentrism.
(For the record, professional wrestlers are by and large tolerable guys. It’s the ones who need a first-class marketing department to sell their moves (Hogan being a perfect example) who are absolute jackasses.)
Stuart Smalley said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:05
I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, I just kicked Norm Coleman’s ass!
alec said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:06
And Mick Foley is a big DFL man. Wheels within wheels.
Grrrr said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:06
My favorite part is when Mr. SantaClaus hopes that the government will protect its people with “as much violence as necessary”. That statement is almost Nazi-like, considering the word “necessary” in that sentence can at any moment be interpreted to mean “possible”.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:07
Now, now, alec, you’re confusing your professional wrestler-types.
Randy Savage was “The Macho Man”, while the “queerin’ don’t make the world go ’round” was the Ultimate Warrior, or Warrior, or whatever the fuck he wants to be called.
Savage’s thing has been Slim Jims, a crossover to rap, and saying “Bonesaw is ready!” in Spider-Man.
The Red Badger of Courage said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:08
And I could see Savage challenging Crist in the primary, but the base might take issue with the whole “queerin don’t make the world go round” thing.
FYI, that was the (Ultimate) Warrior.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WlNb3j1llc
Also.
Doug Watts said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:08
It’s like if Florida named Randy Savage governor.
No. It’s more like you saying that a US veteran and Navy Seal, Ventura, should somehow be ineligible for public office solely because he earned money as a gymnast and a bodybuilder.
tigrismus said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:11
Until one of those weak-ass traitor mother-fuckers sacs up, joins Al Qaeda, and does it himself, I may have to doubt their sincerity and err on the side of “more full of shit than a 1000-yr old cobag.”
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:12
Oh, fuck off, Doug.
St. Jennifer said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:14
The fact they elected Stuart Smalley to the Senate says volumes about them.
Actually it says a lot more about Norm Coleman, since the citizens of MN found him less palatable than Stuart Smalley.
Which brings me to: why the adolescent glee with the “Stuart Smalley” references? Stuart Smalley was the comedic persona of a completely harmless man – a persona whom most people recognize as being fictional. So why would such an association be considered an insult to Franken or to have negative connotations? “oooo, Franken, he’s such a looooser, he once played the anti-Hitler on SNL.” Is this reverse Godwinism?
Jennifer said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:17
I’m still wondering why, during this long Coleman hissy fit, no one ever saw fit to dub him “Whiny Norman” and photoshop his head onto the body of a giant hedgehog.
alec said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:20
Damn! Figured one was a pseudonym for the other. Ah well: stand by the assessment, not the particulars.
I would wager most people using it don’t actually know what it means. Duckspeak tends to work better that way – otherwise you might have to think critically about why it’s important to you to get angry about Minnesota electing a man who occasionally played a self-help guru in a sketch TV show in the 80s.
I imagine if Will Farrell were to run for office they’d call him George W. Bush, and only the person who started it would actually get it.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:20
Also, while HTML has comments off on his thread (what the hell are we coming to?), I’d like to note that the first paragraph he posts is going straight back to “Obama’s gay!” if Peretz’ use of the word ‘mincing’ is anything to go by.
Because trying to actually run a country as anything but a macrocosm for your cock-swinging is effeminate and swishy.
Pere Ubu said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:20
Next thread over: “Comments are closed.”
WTF?
Marion in Savannah said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:21
Didn’t Stuart Smalley used to wear sort of fluffy sweaters? Doesn’t that mean he’s teh ghey?
Nom de Plume said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:22
Cynical old bastard that I am, I just can’t wrap my head around this shit. There are people on the top-rated cable network wishing aloud that America will be attacked by terrorists. And this is when they’re not repeatedly referring to certain doctors as “baby killers” up to the point where said doctors are murdered by outraged viewers.
I hate censorship above all else, but this shit is seriously getting to the point where it’s a public health concern.
El Cid said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:25
Look, sometimes you just gotta kill Americans in order to save them.
By ‘keep us safe’ they mean our hypothetical souls which conservatives own by default, not actually, you know, ‘keeping us safe’.
Pere Ubu said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:28
There are people on the top-rated cable network wishing aloud that America will be attacked by terrorists. And this is when they’re not repeatedly referring to certain doctors as “baby killers” up to the point where said doctors are murdered by outraged viewers.
Remember back a year or so ago when we were all supposed to be patriotically indignant that an old black guy said “God damn America”?
It’s amusing what the GOP gets a bug up its ass about. And by “amusing” I actually mean “inducing migrane headaches and projectile vomiting”.
alec said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:29
There’s an entire class of Republican strategist for whom every election is about cowboy versus faggot, and someone has evidently paid them to forget that the typecasting election for that was an election between a man stereotyped as a cowboy and a man stereotyped as a wimp. Neither Biden nor Obama can actually be passed off that way, so God knows that absurdly mechanical analysis is gonna shoot them in the foot on election years.
Jacob Singer said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:30
Well, first they figured they’d save the Iraqis even if they had to kill every last one of ‘em. Now they’re going to save America from its woefully liberal self by wishing death to countless numbers of their fellow citizens.
I need a drink…
HTML Mencken said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:30
Gah! I dunno! I didn’t do anything different, I swear!
Parody Troll said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:30
I call Sen. Franken “Stuart Smalley” because Bill O’Reilly does it.
Jennifer said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:32
I stand by my initial assessment of Marty Peretz: a man so smug he’s in love with the smell of his own farts.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:35
Gah! I dunno! I didn’t do anything different, I swear!
Well, fix it! If you don’t Powerline’s going to notice we have one thread closed to comments and then bitch at the left-o-sphere for years to come based on one fluke case!
Don’t you realize the danger you’ve put us all in?!
alec said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:36
I’m really surprised that the Republicans haven’t tried to get O’Reilly to back down on this one. He’s got this deeply personal crusade against Al Franken that doesn’t make any sense to anyone else, one that has basically involved him making an ass of himself whenever that fancy Jew fuck comes up, and his evident clout within Fox News meant that he got to insist on a lawsuit so ill-concieved that it managed to pretty much permanently break the network’s carefully-crafted veener of Potemkin respectability.
Nowadays he’s the least insane man the Republicans have in the room (and that’s saying a fucking lot), and the last thing they should want is a black eye over a junior senator from a blue state that he’s butthurt about.
HTML Mencken said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:39
I dunno how to fix it! I’m a moonbat! I have no practical skillz. If it’s not signing the back of a welfare check, loading a bong, or putting on a condom for promiscuous gay homo gay sex, it’s beyond me!
Spengler Dampniche said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:40
It occurs to me that Glenn Beck is a cuntface pindick. And a despicable heap of quivering shit.
I enjoyed that.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:41
Isn’t this why we have Seb, so we can beg for help from foreign interlopers on American independence?
Cheese n’ crackers, HTML, this is serious bizness!
Professor Marvel said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:41
I can’t come back, I don’t know how it works!
The Goddamn Batman Was Wondering About That "Comments Disabled" Thing Himself said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:46
To be fair, James Howard Kunstler seems to be hoping for Armageddon in much the same way.
Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:48
Pere Ubu: Yeah, tell me about it. They want to get these terrorists talking, just lock them in a room with that crazy Bachmann broad! They’ll be begging for a waterboarding after that, I’ll tell you what!
*rimshot*
In all seriousness, though, I have the utmost respect for my colleague in the House and hope to work with her productively in the future for the good of Minnesota and this great country.
Pere Ubu said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:49
It occurs to me that Glenn Beck is a cuntface pindick. And a despicable heap of quivering shit.
And a rat-soup-eating honky motherfucker.
Also.
justme said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:50
Funny, I thought there was a federal law about that. Guess not. Ya learn somethin’ new every day.
DinsdaleFranken!!!St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 19:52
To be more fair, someone named Kunstler probably got more than his fair share of beatings and name-calling from his peers, and therefore more likely to wish death on his nation.
Hee hee, Kunstler.
Turbine Yukon Palin said,
July 1, 2009 at 20:09
Oh! Wait! I’ve been waiting to use this one!
*ahem*
“Why do they hate America?”
Huh. Kind of a letdown. I thought it’d be more satisfying given how often this got thrown in critics’ faces in the lead up to the Iraq invasion. It seemed to give them so much pleasure at the time, like brain coolant for avoiding complex arguments and facts, but I just don’t see it. It’s still kinda ‘baggy no matter who’s saying it.
actor212 said,
July 1, 2009 at 20:15
It’s like if Florida named Randy Savage governor.
They’d have to change the name of Boca Raton to “Ooooooooooooooooh YEA!”
mrak said,
July 1, 2009 at 20:22
Wishing, and hoping,
and thinking,and praying…(Apologies to B. Bacharach)
itwasntme said,
July 1, 2009 at 20:27
It strikes me that all these neotards are screaming to have their butts beaten red. That they’d enjoy. They are total masochists.
Galt's Gulch Water Board said,
July 1, 2009 at 20:50
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RAUm6l_t6k
Galt's Gulch Water Board said,
July 1, 2009 at 21:03
Sorry, that post got away from me. It’s like they’re Angela Lansbury fantasizing about seizing power after a terrible tragedy — the power they lost oh so unfairly and inexplicably, like this guy says.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/07/01/feehery.franken/index.html
Curse that metric system!
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
July 1, 2009 at 21:10
There is no grudge as deep as an old one.
Curse you, new math! Damn thee to hell’s deepest pit, metric system! By Grepthor’s Hammer, I will avenge thee, 55 speed limit!
mrak said,
July 1, 2009 at 21:17
GGWB: One of the commenters on the CNN editorial beat me to it, but what the hell:
“The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead, and that’s the way I likes it!!!” – A. Simpson
Galt's Gulch Water Board said,
July 1, 2009 at 21:23
Furlongs per Fortnight, the way the Almighty intended!
Xecky Gilchrist said,
July 1, 2009 at 21:28
Which brings me to: why the adolescent glee with the “Stuart Smalley” references? Stuart Smalley was the comedic persona of a completely harmless man – a persona whom most people recognize as being fictional.
Remember, this is the same crowd that thinks Ronald Reagan was a great president, and for the last year of his second term Reagan didn’t even know he was president. As with church and state, they’re not big on the whole separation-of-fiction-and-reality thing.
actor212 said,
July 1, 2009 at 21:32
Cubits for everyone! To be forearmed is to be forewarned!
Xecky Gilchrist said,
July 1, 2009 at 21:34
they’re not big on the whole separation-of-fiction-and-reality thing.
And for a more recent example, legislating “harsh interrogation methods” citing 24 as precedent.
Duros62 said,
July 1, 2009 at 21:49
Late to this party, but..
Holy fucking crap.
Cheerleaders for bin Laden on FOX news.
Just….wow.
Galt's Gulch Water Board said,
July 1, 2009 at 21:55
It should be so obvious by now, even to them, that the reason they’re so obsessed with the moooslimz is because they see themselves in the mirror, and always have.
Duros62 said,
July 1, 2009 at 22:03
I know people from Minnesota look down on southerners as stupid rednecks, but they just elected an unfunny, pompus(sic) clown to be their Senator.
To be fair, they also elected an unfunny pompous clown to be their Representative as well.
Duros62 said,
July 1, 2009 at 22:08
Dammmit. PereUBU beat me to it.
Trilateral Chairman said,
July 1, 2009 at 22:34
If I understood Glenn Beck correctly, he’s arguing that Osama is attacking America by *not* attacking America. Is that right?
Where do they FIND these people?
Smut Clyde said,
July 1, 2009 at 22:35
Cubits for everyone!
Cubits are the appropriate unit of measurement when talking about “disasters of Biblical proportions”.
M. Bouffant said,
July 1, 2009 at 22:35
Maybe Jimmy Carter can give him pointers.
You’d probably want to refer him to Ronald Reagan for tips on negotiating w/ hostage-taking Iranian gov’ts.
actor212 said,
July 1, 2009 at 22:43
Cubits are the appropriate unit of measurement when talking about “disasters of Biblical proportions”.
(cf George W. Cubit)
Ken Lowery said,
July 1, 2009 at 23:21
Which brings me to: why the adolescent glee with the “Stuart Smalley” references? Stuart Smalley was the comedic persona of a completely harmless man – a persona whom most people recognize as being fictional.
Because see, it is ridiculous for a staff writer and occasional actor for SNL to take office. Conversely, actors who once starred opposite monkeys are OK to be president.
All clear now?
Duros62 said,
July 1, 2009 at 23:44
And I could see Savage challenging Crist in the primary,
“Snap into a Slim-Jim….on November 4th!”
PopeRatzo said,
July 1, 2009 at 23:47
“..if I were him (bin Laden) that would be the last thing I do right now”
Note the interesting ju jitsu. First, they were absolutely certain that we’d be attacked again if Obama became president. But now, since 6 whole months have gone by and no attacks have come, the only reason there’s been no attack is because bin Laden’s trying to help out Obama!
Or something. They’re so pissed that we haven’t been attacked again since the election that they’re literally praying for a dirty nuke to go off in the US.
The Tragically Flip said,
July 1, 2009 at 23:58
Returing to the Iran/nuclear thing upthread, let’s remember that all the King’s wingnuts and neocons managed to let Kim Jong Il obtain nuclear weapons on Georgie’s watch, because they were busying invading the country that didn’t have WMDs and preaching paranoia against the one that’s 10 years from developing them.
So the actual crazy guy with buffont hair dos, a napoleon complex and bizarre fetishes for movie making and kidnapping Japanese people can have nukes, but not the country ruled by a rational undemocratic regime that hasn’t attacked or even threatened to attack anyone in a very long time.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 2, 2009 at 0:02
bin Laden’s trying to help out Obama!
Single payer health care would be sure to usher in an American caliphate.
Duros62 said,
July 2, 2009 at 0:03
Maybe Jimmy Carter can give him pointers.
You’d probably want to refer him to Ronald Reagan for tips on negotiating w/ hostage-taking Iranian gov’ts.
http://instantrimshot.com/
Bang! Zoom!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 2, 2009 at 0:05
Just imagine Sheuer and Beck singing this as a duet.
Duros62 said,
July 2, 2009 at 0:07
Conversely, actors who once starred opposite monkeys are OK to be president.
Also, hideously bad actors who starred in TeeVee shows about premarital sex on the high seas are OK to be congressmen.
Ken Lowery said,
July 2, 2009 at 0:14
Let’s not forget Fred Thompson’s aborted presidential run! Also nothing to laugh about there.
Mr. Wonderful said,
July 2, 2009 at 0:16
mrak–
I always thought “wishin’ and hopin’” (by Hal David, BB’s lyricist) was a pop-song euphemism for “bitchin’ and moanin,’” but that’s me.
Re Stuart Smalley: yeah, Bill-O calls him that. And every time he does, it’s hard to know whether he really thinks he’s being clever (in the manner of your everyday barroom horse’s ass loudmouth), or if he knows it’s stupid but thinks his viewers think it’s clever. Imagine seeing Keanu Reeves at a restaurant, and swaggering up to him and saying, “Yo, hey, Neo, ya shoulda taken the BLUE pill,” and feeling brilliant about it. THIS is the kind of wit you get from the spokespeople of the right.
The Tragically Flip said,
July 2, 2009 at 0:25
Fred Thompson was the weirdest thing. All the right crazy people started getting really excited about him, I thought for sure the fix was in and he’d sail to the nomination, and then he fizzled. He was perfect for their purposes. What happened? Was there some dirty secret or was he just that uncharismatic?
Djur said,
July 2, 2009 at 0:25
I’m actually not entirely convinced O’Reilly knows Franken’s real name isn’t Stuart Smalley.
N.C. said,
July 2, 2009 at 1:25
Fred Thompson was the weirdest thing. All the right crazy people started getting really excited about him, I thought for sure the fix was in and he’d sail to the nomination, and then he fizzled. He was perfect for their purposes. What happened? Was there some dirty secret or was he just that uncharismatic?
Fred Thompson never really seemed like he was interested in being President; he just accumulated a lot of fans who thought he’d be the next Reagan. For the longest time he was just kind of roaming around the country while his staff promised that some time very soon, he’d declare whether or not he was ready to declare his intent to run for the nomination.
The Tragically Flip said,
July 2, 2009 at 1:48
Yeah, I remember, but I’m wondering if there was a story behind the scenes. Clearly he’s a dolt who would have needed a lot of stage managing and scripting, but so was Reagan and Bush II and the right people came together to do that for them. Why didn’t that happen for Thompson? He had the right image, gravitas and willingness to puke conservative slogans in a folksy tone that I think there is more to the story about why his campaign never gelled.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
July 2, 2009 at 2:09
Why didn’t that happen for Thompson? He had the right image, gravitas and willingness to puke conservative slogans in a folksy tone that I think there is more to the story about why his campaign never gelled.
He didn’t have St Ronbo’s great (never dyed!!!!) hair.
What kind of monster could trust a guy without hair?
tigrismus said,
July 2, 2009 at 2:16
The scuttlebutt was that he was lazy as hell.
N.C. said,
July 2, 2009 at 2:45
Yeah, laziness did him in.
PaulG said,
July 2, 2009 at 2:50
So is this “Imperial Hubris” guy? Or somebody else with the same name? Or am I totally confused?
Bitter Scribe said,
July 2, 2009 at 2:58
Let’s be fair. They never said they wanted a nuclear attack. Maybe it would be some other kind of devastation, like stink bombs. Or a Cheetos-rotting fungus.
Another kiwi said,
July 2, 2009 at 4:19
Those two whackjobs could just go and blow themselves up and see what happens. Maybe they could wrap teabags around them to really make a point.
” We are fuckwits and we’ve blown ourselves up and some tea bags, also”
krassen said,
July 2, 2009 at 4:44
“Stuart Smalley”? … Yeah, I remember that character: an over-the-top parody of a talk-show host… So the actor who played him is a U.S. Senator now? That’s nuts! What’s next, the actor who plays that “Glenn Beck” character gets elected, too? By the way, he is pretty good… really funny, especially when he does this thing with the eyes… Anyone knows his name?
jim said,
July 2, 2009 at 6:06
Palin/Khameini 2012: God Is Great, You Betcha!
Sjofn said,
July 2, 2009 at 7:45
Glenn Beck is number one on my list of “People I Would Not, Under Any Circumstances, Ride an Elevator With.” The fact he can invade my personal space through my monitor pretty much makes him the all time champion.
Tajavi said,
July 2, 2009 at 10:44
Word. Just seeing him makes me want a shower. His face looks like the underside of a log.
atheist said,
July 3, 2009 at 23:45
You’re not confused, or at least you’re not wrong. Scheuer wrote “Imperial Hubris”. And then, apparently, he went insane.
Reinder Dijkhuis said,
July 10, 2009 at 0:49
Occam’s razor suggests that he was pretty insane to start with.