30
The Circle Is Complete
We connect the dots, you deduce the conspiracy:
June 8: David Letterman tells a joke about the Palin family, forcing conservatives to divert precious blogging resources away from Obama-bashing to defend the plucky Alaskans. A trial run of the diversionary tactics the MSM will soon use to help squash Iranian freedom?
June 13: Protests against the Iranian elections begin.
June 16: Obama refuses to credit America for Iranian uprising, proving once again that it is all about him.
June 24: South Carolina governor Mark Sanford admits to Argentinian affair, kicking off major MSM operations against Iran’s Green Revolution.
June 26: Michael Jackson dies. Liberal media blitzkrieg is now in full swing as unending wave of Jacko chyrons effectively trample the corpse of Neda into the dust.
June 28: Death of infomercial pitchman Billy Mays. Nascent Iranian democracy successfully nipped in the bud by media thugs.
Frist said,
June 30, 2009 at 15:23
?
D Johnston said,
June 30, 2009 at 15:28
It’s even more sinister than that, I reckon. This smells like an Obamatron plot to kill right-wing bloggers. Here’s how it works: they work up some Obama-related quasi-controversy, launching the cons into action while elevating their blood pressure levels. Immediately afterward, they arrange for the death and/or humiliation of a public figure. The MSM shifts to cover them. This is a two-pronged assault on the conservatives: not only does it initiate another blood pressure spike (“How dare they stop talking about blah blah?”) but it also ties up their resources as they search frantically for a way to pin the tragedy on Democrats. Then, just as the right-wingers begin to drift back into their own comfort zones to regroup, Obama makes another appearance and the cycle begins anew. Repeat until blood shoots out of their eyes or they get so tangled up they lose the ability to feed themselves.
jon said,
June 30, 2009 at 15:31
The Corpse of Nada sounds like a great band name. I think you meant “Neda”, but still.
Anyway, the conspiracy is that Letterman is jealous of Conan, Conan doesn’t look like someone who would wear a turban, Obama once did, Sanford’s mistress is an Argentinian Nazi, Jackson was killed after failing to produce enough Aryan children, and Billy Mays knew too much which was why he was yelling all the time. So the obvious answer is The Jews, but I still haven’t figured out the question.
D. Aristophanes said,
June 30, 2009 at 15:34
jon – fixed! Just goes to show how far the MSM propaganda machine has gone to shove her down the memory hole.
Binkyboy said,
June 30, 2009 at 15:41
How did Michelle Malkalakadingdong manage to tie Wikipedia to Banks?
Let me see if I can do it:
“OMG, my local bike store has refused to put a Church meeting notice in their store window, which didn’t make the news! If this had been an abortion clinic bombing it would have been all over the front page!”
Ah, I see how easy it is.
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love said,
June 30, 2009 at 15:41
June 30 – Profit!
Till said,
June 30, 2009 at 15:46
Malkin spews:
Irresponsible not to speculate, etc. Also, Jimbo.
g said,
June 30, 2009 at 15:50
More wingnuttitude
Hilarity ensues!
“I have 15 years experience in media” becoming the new “I am aware of all internet traditions.”
Shorter wingnuts said,
June 30, 2009 at 15:55
Ted the Slacker said,
June 30, 2009 at 15:56
June 29 – Bernie Madoff gets 150 year sentence.
Just giving you another dot. I don’t know how it connects, but I believe that’s central to your point.
dex said,
June 30, 2009 at 16:05
we’re through the looking glass here, people…up is down…and black is white…
Shorter wingnuts said,
June 30, 2009 at 16:20
chocolatepie said,
June 30, 2009 at 16:28
June 27: Rosemary’s Baby is born.
jim said,
June 30, 2009 at 16:33
The Circle Is Complete
( for details, see “Goatse” )
Lunch Lady said,
June 30, 2009 at 16:58
Doughnuts, kids?
DAS said,
June 30, 2009 at 16:58
The Circle is Complete?
I always knew that Bluegrass Gospel was secretly Satanic. That’s why when Sanford was distracted by, um, events south of the border, so to speak, he made reference to his going on “the Appalachian trail”.
Billy Mays said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:03
BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE NEW WINGNUT-O-MATIC 6000
Froley said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:06
There is special providence in the fall of an infomercial pitchman.
How Many Times Does A Goddamn Batman Have To Die To Get His Name In The Papers? said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:08
Well, that’s the problem with a tactic of throwing people under the bus in order to divert media attention: after a while, those gosh-darn bus drivers get good at dodging, and you have to have a secondary sacrifice to make sure that they zig instead of zag. Sorry, Farrah.
SteveB said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:14
I guess the Iranian revolution is like Tinkerbell: it dies if we all don’t clap hard enough.
Obama's Secret Police said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:21
Curses! Foiled again!
pedestrian said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:21
June 30: Pina Bausch dies. Media blackout is a rehearsal for the non-coverage that is being prepared for the coming wave of cheeto-related asphyxiations.
Rusty Shackleford said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:28
Cheese, whine, and c.
handy said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:31
I guess that settles things. Obama is a Sham Wow kinda guy.
Obama's Secret Police said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:34
We also had spinning plates and fireworks planned but that’s all ruined now.
actor212 said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:37
So Letterman killed the video star?
drieux said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:37
Fabulous! Absolutely Fabulous!
Save of course you forgot to show how all of this was done by the Gay HomoZeXual Marriage Agendanista to advance their God Hating America Bashing Agenda of Capital Gaines Taxes to punish the True Galt!
But then again, you have been suspiciously too close to the MSM to be able to maintain perspective I guess…
Pere Ubu said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:37
So Hitler McObamastalin managed to force Sanford into an illicit affair AND kill not only Michael Jackson, Billy Mays (FOR OXICLEAN!) and Farrah Fawcett.. in the same week!!!
My Gobbs, is there no end to the man’s evil?
Zifnab said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:43
Don’t forget Ed McMahon. Obama’s universal euthanasia policy killed Eddy by denying him proper privately owned insurance coverage. These are all just stepping stones on the path to Armageddon. The end is nigh! Nigh!
actor212 said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:47
So Hitler McObamastalin managed to force Sanford into an illicit affair AND kill not only Michael Jackson, Billy Mays (FOR OXICLEAN!) and Farrah Fawcett.. in the same week!!!
And Gale Storm. While she was a clean-cut television star of the 50s, her name sounds suspiciously like a taxi dance girl with a lot of hoochiecootchie going on, which distracted old white men.
Also.
Mr. Anonymous said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:50
Point on the June 16 item, after it was revealed that internal White House communications credited the pro-reform movement’s strength based on Obama’s Cairo speech, conservatives were in fact very quick to decry the administrations supposed egotism.
Rusty Shackleford said,
June 30, 2009 at 17:52
Obama made me mis-hear my wife saying “Billy Mays died at 50″ as “Willie Mays died at 50″ and respond with “Willie Mays is way older than 50.”
Mouthful of Kelp said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:13
Suddenly, everything is falling into place just a little too perfectly for the 2012 Romney-Norris ticket.
another jim attemting to channel Winguttia said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:16
First, David Letterman set up the infosacrifice of Palin’s youngest children, to propitiate the Islamocommie God that all major media stars pray to, except Schwarzenegger, Fred Thompson and Jack Bauer (his real name; he’s only acting when he’s Kiefer Sutherland).
A curve ball was thrown in, when President Osama suddenly didn’t yell at Iran and help cause a bloody civil war. This was good news for McCain/Palin. This could have led to the GOP taking back the white house before it is covered in peace signs and blown up by Ayers as a thank-you for all the missing blond women Ayers kidnapped for Chicago Obama-supporters to rape at fundraisers.
Where was I? Right, Palin was now poised to win the 2009 – uh, 2012 – election, as long as she had a good VP. Sanford was a bright, young and rising GOP star of less than 70 years old. He had to be taken out.
Once that was done, the plan was back on track. It was time for the death of Billie Mays. Coming after he brainwashing of America and the hyper-overhearted attention on the media on Michael Jackson, the Iranian-led cabal of brown-people Islamocommie superpowers can now trigger their deep-cover mole.
Bobby Jindal (aka Ali Hussein Muhammad-Al-Akbaristan) will trick the already half-brainwashed weight-losing Huckabee, to start selling hummus and pita weight-loss products to Middle America in Billy May-commemorative slots on the Shopping Network. The products will be a hit, and even worse they will work, causing America to shed its magnificent Christian fat.
Soon everyone is as lightweight as Osama Hussein Beelzebub. And with no weight to throw around, what’s to stop President Negro’s Islamocommie health care?
Event Horizon said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:18
And where does David Carradine fit in? Hmmm?
Molest my boast, libs!
Rusty Shackleford said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:19
Bernie Madoff sentenced to 150 years. Coincidence?
WAKE UP SHEEPLE
Tommmcatt said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:23
…what’s to stop President Negro’s Islamocommie health care?
Dianne Feinstein, for one.
g said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:25
Pina Bausch dies
wow, only 68.
g said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:36
OK now it’s all going META.
A Fox News reporter, doing a live broadcast from in front of the Jackson Family compound in Encino, had his foot run over by a hit and run driver. So now it’s “breaking news” and Fox News has another reporter standing in the street on the scene to do a story about the reporter doing the story.
actor212 said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:44
A Fox News reporter, doing a live broadcast from in front of the Jackson Family compound in Encino, had his foot run over by a hit and run driver. So now it’s “breaking news” and Fox News has another reporter standing in the street on the scene to do a story about the reporter doing the story.
No. Wait. This is good news!
NOW we can blame the RIGHT WING for distracting us from events in Iran by having a shlemiel cover a shlemazel!
Rusty Shackleford said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:47
One more tragic entry on the OBAMA FOOT INJURY LIST
Steerpike said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:56
You forgot Ed MacMahon! How could you miss the obvious Publisher’s Clearinghouse/Star Search/Talk show Sidekick murder, which allows David Letterman to steal ratings from Conan O’Brien, furthering the islamo-child-rape agenda, and funneling money from Publisher’s Clearinghouse to Iranian bomb manufacturers. It’s all so obvious!
g said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:56
We can only guess who was driving that gold Corolla.
Ted the Slacker said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:56
So now it’s “breaking news” and Fox News has another reporter standing in the street on the scene to do a story about the reporter doing the story.
Proof obviously that hit-and-run drivers are liberals.
Also, look at how Wikipedia is censoring the identity of the driver, just more proof, as if it were needed, that Wiki hates America.
Darth Revan said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:59
A Fox News reporter, doing a live broadcast from in front of the Jackson Family compound in Encino, had his foot run over by a hit and run driver. So now it’s “breaking news” and Fox News has another reporter standing in the street on the scene to do a story about the reporter doing the story.
… and thus, in a painful and cataclysmic tearing of the fabric of reality into pomo-space, the whole of Fox News telescoped into a maelstrom of infinite regress, which gradually sucked in every affiliated newscaster, pundit and loudmouth bimbo News Corporation had in its employ.
And somewhere, above all of the perfect storm’s incomprehensible noise of reports on reports, one could make out the faint but decidedly derisive laughter of Jacques Derrida…
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:59
So now it’s “breaking news” and Fox News has another reporter standing in the street on the scene to do a story about the reporter doing the story.
FOX was IN ON THE LIBERAL CONSPIRACY ALL ALONG@!!#(#^&*!
JOIN THE DOTS, PEOPLE!
~
Thorlac said,
June 30, 2009 at 18:59
Ed MacMahon was with that patriotic organization American Family Publishers, not the fascist Publisher’s Clearinghouse! Get it right, libs! And Obama was humming Smooth Criminal just before his last televised speech. It all fits!
Heartland Values said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:00
Wiki hates America.
May I direct your attention to a more reliable pro-America online encyclopedia.
another jim attemting to channel Winguttia said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:14
I thought you were all joking about the hit and run at the Fox compound.
Woo.
Now all we need is a drive-by shooting and looting of all the camera equipment, in a low-chopped street rod driven by a bandana-wearing Michael Jackson.
g said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:16
Have y’all seen this video?
It’s apparently produced by Sarah Palin’s PAC, to be shown on July 4th.
I am almost convinced its a parody, it can’t possibly be serious. It’s hilarious! All she needs is something to stuff in the flight suit.
Steerpike said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:20
And of course, Michael Jackson, who claimed to be a Jehovah’s Scientologist, or whatever, was actually a crypto-Muslim and the illegitimate half brother of Barack Obama! (They had the same mother, Priscilla Presley, but Jackson’s father was Elija Muhammed, whereas Obama’s was Malcom X) They had to silence the gloved one, so they bribed a Jewish doctor to administer a daily cocktail of Demerol, percocet, adderall, cialis, thorazine, methamphetamine, welbutrin, soma, nicorette, xanax, immodium, celebrex, lipitor and tic-tac to make it look like an “accident”.
PeeJ said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:21
Marshall McLuhan died again.
PeeJ said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:26
I guess the message in that video is, Sarah has a bigger penis than Kim Jong Il and Khameini combined. And the President is a nigger.
Iris said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:31
What you giggling Obots fail to realize is that this is indeed the result of the Obot-infatuated, DNC-controlled media, the same group of fauxgressives who pushed Hillary to the margins even when she had the most logical chance of winning, and who ignored the sound of our boots walking away while they annointed their beloved Messiah. Well, listen up, Obots, this is true blue America talking, the Reagan Democrats and strong-moral voters in Appalachia, and we’re saying Enough! Enough with your beloved Messiah’s pussyfooting around Iran, enough of his beloved bailouts, enough of the taxation. Now do you see what a mess you made when you didn’t honor Hillary with the nomination? You’ll be calling for her to save you in 2012, you’ll see.
Darth Revan said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:34
Shorter Iris:
‘Bookmark this, Obots.’
PeeJ said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:38
Excellent fake Iris! Needs more anger though.
g said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:40
[golf clap]
Rusty Shackleford said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:41
What you giggling Obots fail to realize is that this is indeed the result of the Obot-infatuated, DNC-controlled media…
The media are infatuated with us?
Did not know that.
laym said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:43
O to the T, but did Sadlynaughts catch this program? It featured some prominent wingnuts. In the bits that I saw, Daniel Pipes explained that an Arab-American educator in NYC was most likely a terrorist, and David Horowitz said stuff that made no sense, and said it in an unsufferable manner.
Talking wingnut heads!
And I didn’t even see the segment on Ward Churchill. I’m sure I missed some nutty goodness there.
D. Aristophanes said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:45
Iris’ boots are made for walking away and being ignored.
Steerpike said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:45
Excellent fake Iris! Needs more anger though.
And, of course, cowbell!
OneMan said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:45
Whenever I connect the dots I just get a clown or a giraffe.
Guess I need to eat at better restaurants.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:48
Excellent fake Iris! Needs more anger though.
Would have given a higher score if she worked hiking the Appalachian trail into it.
Pere Ubu said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:50
NOW we can blame the RIGHT WING for distracting us from events in Iran by having a shlemiel cover a shlemazel!
Shizzle the fo’fizzle what now?
and David Horowitz said stuff that made no sense, and said it in an unsufferable manner
As, of course, opposed to every other time Ho’shitz opens his moronic piehole.
Mr. GOP said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:52
What ties the HonduranAnd Iranian incidents together is that it seems Obama never met an Anti-American dictator he didn’t like.
Pere Ubu said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:52
Enough with your beloved Messiah’s pussyfooting around Iran
Ah, a veiled (or should I say burqa’d) peni^h^h^h^h va-jay-jay reference.
Ted the Slacker said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:53
Whenever I connect the dots I just get a clown or a giraffe.
When wingers connect the dots, they complete a circle that pretty much always looks like an acorn. Wierd, huh.
Steerpike said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:53
the same group of fauxgressives who pushed Hillary to the margins even when she had the most logical chance of winning,
Alert National Geographic: I think we may have an actual rare PUMA sighting to report! Long thought extinct, it turns out there are still a few in the wild who are convinced Obama has no chance of beating a Republican in the general election, and therefore we must rally around La Clinton, if we want to have any chance of winning!
Pere Ubu said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:54
Obama never met an Anti-American dictator he didn’t like
As opposed to all the pro-American dictators the GOP prefers.
justme said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:55
You had dots?
Luxury!
A Young Harvey Keitel said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:55
I don’t know nobody named Irisssss.
Pere Ubu said,
June 30, 2009 at 19:56
MSN.com is mooning us with pig asses.
Ted the Slacker said,
June 30, 2009 at 20:05
What ties the HonduranAnd Iranian incidents together is that it seems Obama never met an Anti-American dictator he didn’t like.
Jesus H Christ. D.A. puts up a satirical “Connect the Dots” post, and Joe Q Wingnut shows up to only to emphasize the satire with some vault copy UR NOT DOIN IT PROPLY unintended comedy.
Sadly No as performance art, just classic.
actor212 said,
June 30, 2009 at 20:08
JOIN THE DOTS, PEOPLE!
Join the dot people?
I’d rather dot the joint people.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
June 30, 2009 at 20:08
So the obvious answer is The Jews, but I still haven’t figured out the question.
So, in the end, would you call that the Final Solution?
OneMan said,
June 30, 2009 at 20:09
“You had dots?
Luxury!”
Well, now I have dots. Back in the day, around the campfire cooking the Mastodon, we had to use rocks for dots and connect them with sticks!
actor212 said,
June 30, 2009 at 20:10
the same group of fauxgressives who pushed Hillary to the margins even when she had the most logical chance of winning
I say this as the most strident Hillarybot there was, and you can look up my credentials if you choose:
Iris, shut up.
Most logical? Um, so then President Obama is…what, precisely? Notpresident?
Mouthful of Kelp said,
June 30, 2009 at 20:13
Franken to be seated in Senate
Suck it, Coleman!
Mr. GOP said,
June 30, 2009 at 20:16
Oh, you stupid liberals, Coleman will just appeal to the federal courts now, and it will be tied up for years.
And even after that, Cornyn will shut down the Senate rather than see Stuart Smalley seated. You can start getting mad now for having the obvious pointed out to you.
Steerpike said,
June 30, 2009 at 20:17
You can start getting mad now for having the obvious pointed out to you.
Bookmark it, libs!
OneMan said,
June 30, 2009 at 20:22
Also, PENIS.
And such as.
actor212 said,
June 30, 2009 at 20:30
Senator Al Franken, huh?
I find that both extremely attractive and yet, strangely repulsive, all at once.
Tommmcatt said,
June 30, 2009 at 20:45
I feel the same way about Frankin himself, Actor.
A Young Harvey Keitel said,
June 30, 2009 at 20:50
Senator Al Franken? Is that why Sanford kept apologizing to “the Tom Davis-es of the world”?
g said,
June 30, 2009 at 21:13
I wonder if Rush will play funny numbers with the unanimous decision by the Minnesota Supremes.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
June 30, 2009 at 21:38
What ties the HonduranAnd Iranian incidents together is that
it seems Obama never met an Anti-American dictator he didn’t likeboth countries are still suffering from the fallout of heinous policies pursued by the Reagan administration decades ago.Fizzixed!
Smut Clyde said,
June 30, 2009 at 21:51
You had dots?
Luxury!
We had to use our own acne!
Smut Clyde said,
June 30, 2009 at 21:54
So now it’s “
breakingmultiple fracture news”Enhanced.
Marshall McLuhan died again.
Brian O’Blivion continues to live as long as his videotapes are played.
Johnny Pez said,
June 30, 2009 at 21:54
What ties the HonduranAnd Iranian incidents together is that
it seems Obama never met an Anti-American dictator he didn’t likeboth countries are still suffering from the fallout of heinous policies pursued by theReaganEisenhower administration decades ago.Fizzizzled!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
June 30, 2009 at 21:58
What ties the HonduranAnd Iranian incidents together is that it seems Obama never met an Anti-American dictator he didn’t like both countries are still suffering from the fallout of heinous policies pursued by the Reagan Eisenhower administration decades ago.
Fizzizzled!
Tragically, this circle never seems to complete itself.
Jennifer said,
June 30, 2009 at 22:16
Fear not, B4…now that our days of empire are drawing to a close, at least the circle of destruction will stop.
Unless, of course, we decide that if we can’t rule the world, we might as well blow it up. I’m sure this is a fair representation of President Palin’s take on things.
actor212 said,
June 30, 2009 at 22:21
We had to use our own acne!
Y’had acne?
WE had ta use our smallpox!
Mouthful of Kelp said,
June 30, 2009 at 22:39
Oh, you stupid liberals, Coleman will just appeal to the federal courts now, and it will be tied up for years.
What’d ya say, Troofy? That you’re a giant fucking idiot?
Duros62 said,
June 30, 2009 at 22:44
… and thus, in a painful and cataclysmic tearing of the fabric of reality into pomo-space, the whole of Fox News telescoped into a maelstrom of infinite regress, which gradually sucked in every affiliated newscaster, pundit and loudmouth bimbo News Corporation had in its employ.
Kind of like this?
actor212 said,
June 30, 2009 at 22:56
Duros, I can’t believe I fell for that again. It’s like Rickrolling with a black hole.
Duros62 said,
July 1, 2009 at 0:21
Blackrolling, as it were.
kth said,
July 1, 2009 at 2:38
That bit about Gale Storm in the last link, definitely an eye opener, like the average Hot Air reader is 80.
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
July 1, 2009 at 2:49
Oh, you stupid liberals, Coleman will just appeal to the federal courts now, and it will be tied up for years.
You better believe I bookmarked it!
McJohn said,
July 1, 2009 at 3:08
Courtesy of my wife:
“We dreamed of dots…”
Smut Clyde said,
July 1, 2009 at 4:08
I dream about not dreaming of dots.
Thorlac said,
July 1, 2009 at 13:44
*points at Mr. GOP and laughs heartily* Coleman won’t concede! AAAAAAHahahahaha!