Conversion by Force = Leading by Example

Shorter Doughy Pantload:

Above: Bathos, Portly F’artagnan

“It May Be Pointless, But at Least It’s Expensive”

  • So, like I was saying, (mmmm, double fudge Yoo-Hoo) isn’t it funny how (glug glug) liberals are all like, ‘wah waahhh stop it!’ when America blows up Iraq and (farrrrrrrrrt-rt-t) tells its people how to live, but when it comes to (glug fart waft sniff nod smile) true imperialism — stuff like the Waxman-Markey bill inspiring other countries by example to do something about so-called “global warming” — liberals are all like, “yes, more please”. What a Double Stuf Ore — er, double standard!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


Comments: 18

St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon

Shorter Shorter: “Oh sure, you like emulating the Belgians now, but do a little Belgian-style colonialism, and it’s a bad thing.”


I used to be pretty good at the two-handed multi-slap in my yoof, and Pantload makes me want to go back into training.

Danny Mason Keener

Breaking news: The nominal opposition, having been temporarily handed the keys to the Empire, behave like imperialists. Jonah is, naturally, outraged. The Whale is so lucky that nobody to the left of Center-Right will ever actually be electable in the US or he’d have an honest-to-God stroke from all his righteous outrage.


Does being in The Corner require that one wear a dunce cap? Even leaving aside the poverty of his ideas, Sir Doughy of Pantloadia is a really shitty writer.



its those bedroom eyes that attracted J-Lo.


First you don’t want me to get the pony, then you want me to take it back. Make up your mind!


Bedroom eyes? You mean they’re strewn with pizza boxes and smell vaguely of ferrets?


Double Stuff Oreos? Hah! It’s all Cakesters all the time now, MoFo!


“…but the same liberals insist that if we hobble ourselves with the dull-rusty axe of cap-and-tax,…”

Shorter shorter: Liberals bad. Oil companies good.

And “dull-rusty”? What a dope.

You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig

Shorter pantload: I still suck at using analogies to make points. Give me another Ding-Dong. Any kind will do.


Shit writing along with shit ideas – well, at least his stupidity doesn’t clash.

Besides which, I’d say “leading by example” isn’t the primary motive when you’re scarfing the lion’s share of the world’s resources – avoiding a total meltdown when you run out of them is.

This isn’t exactly rocket-science. If you lose a kidney you may have to watch your diet & not overexert yourself … if you lose your head, you’re compost.

Not Looch who is never to return

P-Load is so stupid he can kill a thread on THIS site. Tha’s some powerful stoopid.


…but the same liberals insist that if we hobble ourselves with the dull-rusty axe of cap-and-tax,…

An axe (however blunt or sharp) does not make a good hobble. You want something long and flexible like a belt, or a special rope, or Mr Goldberg’s conscience. Trust me on this, I was a farm-boy.

Big Bad Bald Bastard

Too bad there’s no cap-and-trade for calories. Pantload would do well to have Kraphammer or Cornfed Wankee pack on the pounds for him.


“glug fart waft sniff nod smile” I read, then laughed until something important broke free inside my abdomen.


Trust me on this, I was a farm-boy.

I once knew love on a farm-boy’s wages.


“An axe (however blunt or sharp) does not make a good hobble.”

I guess technically it could be used to hamstring [ourselves] which would, indeed, hobble us. I’d suggest we start with the Pantload except I doubt he’s walked any further under his own power than couch => fridge in years. Kraphammer? Aww nope no point in that.


Old Man Muffaroo

Yeah, but — How the hell does he get his hand around himself like that? I’ll bet he can scratch anywhere he itches.


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