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24 Body Count: Episode 2
SPOILER ALERT, COBAGZ!!!! Don’t click below the fold if you haven’t seen tonight’s episode…
Here are Jack’s stats for tonight (yearly totals in parentheses):
Kills: 4 (8 for the year… Jack gets bonus points for blowing one of them up with a cell phone)
Tortures: 0 (0… this is really disappointing so far… it’s just won’t feel like a new season of 24 until Jack electro-shocks some guy’s nads)
Federal officials punched/knocked out/shot: 0 (3)
Bad guys who committed suicide before squealing: 1 (2)
Not a bad night overall. Jack spent a lot of time hiding in a ventilation system and/or being held hostage, so he didn’t get to engage in his usual mayhem. But on the bright side, there were a lot of close-ups of him clenching his face tightly and saying “Son of a BITCH!” under his breath. I expect a full return to form next week. Prediction: 5 kills, 1 torture, 2 federal agents assaulted, and no pre-interrogation suicides.
UPDATE: Thanks to GuinessGuy for reminding me of the most important statistic of all:
Number of terrorist plots foiled by an ex-Hobbit: 1 (1)
teh l4m3 said,
January 17, 2006 at 4:35
I wonder what his dad thinks of “24″.
Brad R. said,
January 17, 2006 at 4:37
Who, Hawkeye Pierce? He prolly thinks it’s a’ight.
Ryan at The Higher Pie said,
January 17, 2006 at 4:40
Dammit! Thanks for the warning, but I read it anyway. Can you ban my IP address please?
GuinnessGuy said,
January 17, 2006 at 4:56
Don’t forget to add bonus points for Samwise saving the fuckin’ day…
Brad R. said,
January 17, 2006 at 4:57
Good call, gg. Will update.
Brian said,
January 17, 2006 at 13:23
I’m glad the show is finally back!
teh l4m3 said,
January 17, 2006 at 15:49
Donald Sutherland, foolio.
Anonymous said,
January 17, 2006 at 16:14
Wait, I’m confused. There’s people that watch 24?
But more importantly, shouldn’t it be: “SPOILER ALERT, COBAGEZ!!!!”?
JRoth said,
January 17, 2006 at 16:32
l4m3!0, who the hell do you think was the original Pierce?
Brad is totally hitting above his age.
Brad R. said,
January 17, 2006 at 17:08
Donald Sutherland is the ONLY Hawkeye Pierce in my book. Alan Alda is just a wannabe soandso.
GuinnessGuy said,
January 17, 2006 at 22:42
Damn straight Bradrocket!
teh l4m3 said,
January 18, 2006 at 4:25
Dang bitch you be ooooold.
“Oooh, I’m soooo old. What was that young whippersnapper? Pass me my earhorn. Ohhh, my sciatica…”
lambert strether said,
January 18, 2006 at 18:23
Sounds like you should take a poll. We could run a blog pool on Jacks’s stats….