24
The Yolk’s on Erick
have gotten hit with this egg.”
Sorry to go back to the Erick Erickson pellet bin so soon after Gavin, but the pellets are delicious, so sweet and so cold, and I have no impulse control. Now that we know that Governor Mark Sanford was on a booty-call in Buenos Aires, let’s see what Erick had to say about Sanford just yesterday:
First, we need to be clear on the facts — not the media speculation:
* Sanford did tell his staff and family where he was going.
* Because he was traveling without a security detail, it was in his best interests that no one knew he was gone.
* His political enemies — Republicans at that — ginned up the media story.
* When confronted by a pestering media, things went downhill.
* Again though, at all times there was no doubt that Sanford’s staff and family knew where he was.Now, here is all you need to know about this whole entire story — the reaction from the erstwhile Republicans angry at Sanford for not being a fiscal squish and from the media all go back to their core belief that without Sanford manning the barricades of government at all times, the government will collapse and people will starve, die, and forget how to read and write.
That’s it.
Governor Sanford apologized again and again at his press conference to everybody he could think of, including, it would seem, Jon and Kate (plus 8), some guy named “Cubby,” Astor Piazzolla, Ed McMahon, Carrie Prejean, the Bible, the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, his possibly-former mistress, his church, and every single employee of the National Park Service. The least that Erick could do now is apologize to his readers. Instead, Erick will probably claim that he knew all along where Sanford was but had been personally asked by Sanford’s security detail to repeat the hiking story to protect Sanford from being killed by Argentinian terrorists.
xochi said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:01
Astor!
Righteous Bubba said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:03
Well look, Sanford didn’t do anything dreadful like eat ice-cream.
God's laws said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:03
No homosexual marriage and stone the adulterers.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:04
Two Ls in Piazzolla.
Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:09
You are forgiven, Erick.
FlyingToaster said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:11
So why did FoxNoise identify Sanford as a Democrat? Eh? [crickets]
Ripley said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:11
In my mind I’m goin’ to Argentina
Gonna go eat some dijon
Gonna go my freak on
Yes I’m goin’ to Argentina in my mind
tigrismus said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:11
If it turns out he likes it Vitter-style, they could name the made-for-TV movie “Tits and Pampas.”
Joe Max said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:12
Already the usual suspects (Tweety, et al) are wanting to cut Sanford slack: “It was an affair of the heart… no laws were broken, like Spitzer… he confessed like a man… blah blah fucking blah.”
No, fuck them. Spitzer wasn’t out two-timing his wife with a “love affair”, he was getting his pipes cleaned. (By a very expensive plumber.) I can understand that, as fucked up stupid as he was to indulge himself like that. it pisses me off because the country could use him right now.
Sanford was “in love” and having sex with another man’s wife, which is the textbook definition of adultery. Fuck them. He’s a WATB who got busted.
Did I mention fuck them? Because fuck them. Also.
Ripley said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:12
Two Ls in Piazzolla.
And two girls for every Governor…
Joe Max said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:17
Spent my days with a woman unkind,
Ditched my staff and drank all my wine.
Made up my mind to make a new start,
Going to Argentina with an aching in my heart…
Doug said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:19
That is the greatest comments thread in the history of ever. You know what’s coming, yet enjoying it is still delicious.
Gary Ruppert said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:21
The fact is, this is excellent news for Republicans, because Sanford is a RINO and his infidelity just shines the light on worse Democrat infidelities. Voters will realize that the Democrat Party isn’t the party of family values, it’s the Republicans.
JadeGold said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:27
Given that David “DiaperDandy” Vitter is now posting at Red State, I don’t think we’ll see a mea culpa from EE anytime soon.
kc said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:29
he confessed like a man
Bullshit, he just got trapped like a rat and busted. And then he came out and cried like Jimmy Swaggart.
tigrismus said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:30
Voters will realize that the Democrat Party isn’t the party of family values, it’s the Republicans.
He was boning another woman in another country on FATHER’S DAY. Maybe on the 4th of July he’ll give Gordon Brown a blow job and then wipe the jizz on the flag.
The Root of All Evil said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:31
Ok, ok, Gary. We all know you’re still a dumb dick numb nuts. Don’t you have a Chinese toy to nibble on?
Chris Buckley's Illegitimate Child Who, For Purposes of This Will, is Deemed to have Predeceased WFB said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:34
Hey at least when right wingers have affairs, if there’s a baby, they make sure to take good care of it. Am I right?
EnfantTerrible said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:36
That picture wins the internetz.
kingubu said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:36
no laws were broken
Actually, SC seems to be one of those backwards-ass states that still have adultery laws on the books.
I anxiously await the demands for swift and certain prosecution from the steely-eyed conservative lawnorder types… *snerk*
Caliph Garrett said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:36
Just SHUT UP, that’s why.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:41
That link’s great. Many thanks.
The Truthful Problem With Carter said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:43
Look, I wish you lefties would stop badgering this unselfish public servant; he was just in Argentina to volunteer his body to test new medical diagnostic equipment… I believe that particular week was spent working with a plethysmograph, on something that was colloquially called “the Sanford Risen Experiments”.
There’s nothing to be suspicious about at all, the man’s a hero, just such a modest and Christian one that he made sure his left hand didn’t know what his right was doing, just as the Bible told him too. Or his security staff for that matter. But his wife and children knew about it 5 months ago, so it’s ok!
Some Guy said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:48
Anyone want to take bets on how this guy felt about the Clinton impeachment? I’ma guessing he was of the opinion that the blowbjobs all but ruined western civilization
“* Sanford did tell his staff and family where he was going.
* Because he was traveling without a security detail, it was in his best interests that no one knew he was gone.”
Wait, but people did know where he was going? And wouldn’t it have been in his best interest to travel WITH A security detail?
“* When confronted by those meddling kids!!!, things went downhill.”
Fixed.
RUGGED IN MONTANA said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:49
DEMOCRAT GOVERNOR SANFORD GAY MARRIED A GAUCHO ON 9/11 AND HAS BEEN BLACKMAILED BY TRILATERALISTS EVER SINCE!!! AS SOON AS THEY STARTED APPLYING PRESSURE, SOUTH CAROLINA SUDDENLY WAS ORDERED TO PUT FLUORIDE IN THE WATER SYSTEM, WHICH CAUSED EVERYONE TO GET MORGELLONS THAT HAD BEEN ENGINEERED BY A JEWISH CABAL!!! SANFORD IS RUMORED TO NOW BE PREGNANT WITH THE GAUCHO’S CHILD, THE ANTICHRIST, AND WAS IN ARGENTINA SEEKING A PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION FROM HUGO CHAVEZ’S PERSONAL PHYSICIAN, HECTOR BERLIOZ!!
g said,
June 24, 2009 at 23:51
Spitzer wasn’t out two-timing his wife with a “love affair”, he was getting his pipes cleaned
and I rather think that Spitzer wasn’t out of contact from his staff for more than a few hours.
ignatov said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:07
Erick’s update::
“The left is linking to this post to laugh at it.”
PeorgieTirebiter said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:09
What’s new Buenos Aires?
you’re a tramp, you’re a treat
you will shine to the death
you are shoddy
you are flesh, you are meat
you shall have every breath
in my body
Put me down for a week-end of excess
Call my PAC, they’ll find ways of paying
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:14
You really can’t go wrong with a political blog that drops near-constant William Carlos Williams references.
kingubu said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:14
Oh. Mah. Gawd.
I hearby dub Sanford “Governor Two Magnificent Parts”.
g said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:15
We have each other. I’m off in a bit to hang out with friends from my Bible Study. Sanford probably has none of that. I’m sure John Edwards did not. Nor Bill Clinton. Nor John Ensign.
Erick, Erick, Erick. I’m sure all of those fellows went to Bible Study.
The lesson I learn from these is that it’s hard to know what people hide from their fellows. A rational person would look around the room at Bible Study and wonder. A person like Erick would look around the room and say, “Nope, I guess this means he never went to bible study.”
Sanford was a Promise Keeper, after all. Heck, he probably had help from one of his Bible Study friends arranging places to tryst.
kingubu said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:16
FYWP!!!!
g said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:18
The leading comment at Red State?
the only lesson I can see here is that if you are a Republican in office you can expect the press to blow up the most innocuous activities into scandals.
I wonder what this fellow had to say about ice cream, mustard, or gifts to the queen?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:24
“The left is linking to this post to laugh at it.”
Hilarious!
He needs to go in a dark hole somewhere where no one can see him or hear him and rehabilitate himself.
Hilariouser!
tigrismus said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:27
taking the family to China, Tibet, Nepal, India, Thailand and then back through Hong Kong on world wind tour
World wind tour?
Smut Clyde said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:32
Typo. Should have read “Hawkwind tour”.
Not Looch who is never to return said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:35
Yes, yes we are linking to the post and laughing at it. And we are pointing at you, Erick and laughing. Hard. “FAIL” seems so inadequate. “Wrong” is no better.
Not Looch who is never to return said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:38
Oh. Facts are hard. And.
Tommmcatt said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:44
Ok, I’ll say it: The problem here is not with these guys, any of them, save for the lying and sneaking around and hypocrisy. The problem is with a system that insists that to be in love you have to be monogamous. Most human beings just can’t do that for 40 or 50 years.
Not buying it? Neither does my boyfriend.
why jesus matters said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:44
Note how the Christian deity both provides justification for attacking one’s enemies (“God hates homosexuals”) AND an excuse for one’s own moral failures (“God forgives me”).
Until Atheism, Agnosticism, Thor, Mercury or the Hopi Kachinas can offer their users the same advantages, Christianity will always come out on top.
M. Bouffant said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:45
Best comment on RS:
Trying to change the taste of “food” itself? What will our next perfidy be? Forcing water to stop being odorless & tasteless?
Righteous Bubba said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:48
If Republicans allow me to drive a Terex Titan around I may have some thinking to do. ABOUT WHO TO CRUSH.
The Truthful Problem With Carter said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:52
Awesome comment from Gawker.com;
In all fairness to his aides, “I’m getting some Argentinian tail” sounds a lot like “I’m hiking the Appalachian trail” when you’re on a fuzzy satelite phone connection. Who hasn’t had that kind of innocent misunderstanding?
SomeNYGuy said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:55
This has been another edition of “Commenter Explains His Screen Name.”
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:57
Trying to change the taste of “food” itself?
You know, trying to keep the E. coli out of the food supply must have some effect on taste.
“I’m getting some Argentinian tail” sounds a lot like “I’m hiking the Appalachian trail” when you’re on a fuzzy satelite phone connection.
What are you going to do with that Internet you just won?
yoyo said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:57
In all fairness to his aides, “I’m getting some Argentinian tail” sounds a lot like “I’m hiking the Appalachian trail” when you’re on a fuzzy satelite phone connection. Who hasn’t had that kind of innocent misunderstanding?
That totally rocks! But my heart is sorely plaugued by thoughts of the other members of erics bible study group. Anyone else thinking dangerous armed fundie nutters?
SomeNYGuy said,
June 25, 2009 at 0:59
But my heart is sorely plaugued by thoughts of the other members of erics bible study group.
In the 70s we called them “key parties.”
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
June 25, 2009 at 1:00
But my heart is sorely plaugued by thoughts of the other members of erics bible study group. Anyone else thinking dangerous armed fundie nutters?
I believe the kids call it a “circle jerk” these days.
g said,
June 25, 2009 at 1:01
I was curious how old Sanford’s kids are. There’s a picture on Crooks & Liars with the boys and the wife – the boys look perhaps 9 at the oldest.
Sucks.
The Truthful Problem With Carter said,
June 25, 2009 at 1:05
Not my comment BBBB, so please send the internet over to another poster at Gawker where I saw it… I’ll check in again in 5 or 6 days to see where it’s got too… maybe.
DBR said,
June 25, 2009 at 1:08
Happy now Governor Sanford?!! I hope your international booty-call with a hot ‘n spicy Latina was worth ripping the heart out of every Fiscal-Conservative-Christian in America.
Smut Clyde said,
June 25, 2009 at 1:08
Not buying it? Neither does my boyfriend.
It doesn’t count if no money changes hands.
That Girl said,
June 25, 2009 at 1:13
Jesus Christ on a rascal scooter, those emails! Mortifying. I don’t really care about Sanford, but his poor wife and kids. And, poor us having read them!
g said,
June 25, 2009 at 1:31
Did he send them using his gov account? That makes him too stupid to be governor.
a concerned citizen said,
June 25, 2009 at 1:44
I want to marry this gay-comment from RedState (a response to the only Democrat — or non-insane Republican — commenting over there.)
g said,
June 25, 2009 at 2:00
Oh, my bad. NY times says his kids are: Three of his sons are teenagers, and his youngest is 10 years old.
Still sucks.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 25, 2009 at 2:14
re: Judge Nazi (no judging for you!)
Tribalism, divisiveness, etc. – put that all aside, I mean you guys have already shown how fantastic a job you do at policing your own adulterers. But…
Don’t you think that the fact that the Govenor of South Carolina snuck out of the country and was incommunicado for almost a week because he was “breaking it off” with his mistress, isn’t that sort of important from a civics perspective?
Seriously, he left the state – the entire country even, for six days. The majority of the time he was totally unreachable. Isn’t that sort of a big deal? The hilariously salacious fact that he did so for the sake of scratching that itch, well…
Ah, who am I kidding. Five days of hot hedonistic Buenos Aires extra-marital sex, that’s pretty fucking hawt. Way to go out Sanford – with a bang. Probably several bangs. Five days of crying you said, but you didn’t mentio that it was five days of crying out “More! More! MORE!”
Sprinkle On The Zesty Goodness said,
June 25, 2009 at 2:45
The plums are good, too.
krassen said,
June 25, 2009 at 2:54
“You compensate for your insecurities by trying to find hypocracy in others.”
What is hypocracy? And does it work for other ailments? Like genital warts? A friend of mine wants to know…
No Time Like The Presentiment said,
June 25, 2009 at 2:55
I’ve been to Virginia
And Argentina
I crossed the ocean for a heart of gold
Like Rocco Siffredi, I sought a lady
That keeps me searching for a heart of gold
And I got cornholed.
No Time Like The Presentiment said,
June 25, 2009 at 2:57
Also, something with the rhymes ‘Carolina’ and ‘vagina’. As well.
not even an mba said,
June 25, 2009 at 3:04
“The left is linking to this post to laugh at it.”
c.f.
Damn Straight, Red State! You’ve got them lefties larfing so hard – victory is just a couple dozen front page Mark Sanford posts away. I mean you certainly don’t want to let them left-tards get away with changing the subject, right?
And in addition, POOH-POOH! Also.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 25, 2009 at 3:14
More from E Pluribus Shut UP, Only Unem gets to talk:
HAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAH!!! BWAHAHAHAHHA!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!
Title of the post? BWAhahahhawhHAHAHA…. HJAHAHAH…. okay, I’ve caught my breath.
BWWWAHHAHHAHAHHAHAAAAHAHAH!!!!!!!onehahhaeleventy!!!
HAHHAHAH.
Conservatives and Integrity, and never the twain shall meet, boyo.
Smut Clyde said,
June 25, 2009 at 3:22
You know, if there’s one thing I’ve learnt from being in the Army, it’s never ignore a pooh-pooh. I knew a Major, who got pooh-poohed, made the mistake of ignoring the pooh-pooh. He pooh-poohed it! Fatal error! ‘Cos it turned out all along that the soldier who pooh-poohed him had been pooh-poohing a lot of other officers who pooh-poohed their pooh-poohs. In the end, we had to disband the regiment. Morale totally destroyed… by pooh-pooh!
Spalpeen Hammer said,
June 25, 2009 at 3:35
Hypocracy? I was taught that was our form of government.
Sammy said,
June 25, 2009 at 3:47
Particularly tragic is Erickson’s need to invoke Edwards.
“Democrats have affairs too! See?!?”
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 25, 2009 at 4:01
http://www.redstate.com/erick/2009/06/24/the-real-lessons-of-mark-sanfords-hike/
Basically copypasta from the strikeout post.
Erick, you’re showing your hand. The last two paragraphs are pretty blatantly admitting that you are using religion and the true believers in order to advance your political agenda. Sure, they aren’t the most incisive lot, hell if they’re reading Red State for purposes other than lulz, they must be pretty fucking slow – but seriously, “On the bright side, I doubt his indiscretions will affect the FisCon movement.” Really? That’s your takeaway for your God-fearing righteous army of followers?
P.S. The statment “I am disappointed in Sanford, but not angry.” looks really funny following a post titled DIAF Mark Sanford. I appreciate that it’s a group blog – but really?
El Cid said,
June 25, 2009 at 4:02
This is clearly Hugo Chavez’ fault. Clearly.
Smut Clyde said,
June 25, 2009 at 4:12
“Galldernit, I knew if I’d a just hunkered down in the stall I wouldn’t have gotten hit with this egg.”
Bad news. That’s not egg-white.
Lawnguylander said,
June 25, 2009 at 4:18
A very worldly REDSTATE commenter says:
Which is funnier, knowing that he probably initially typed 2 minutes or that he felt he should inform his fellows that lust = sex?
tigrismus said,
June 25, 2009 at 4:22
5 minutes? Ouch. UR DOIN IT WRONG.
SomeNYGuy said,
June 25, 2009 at 4:33
5 minutes? Ouch. UR DOIN IT WRONG.
That’s as long as his wife can tolerate the stench/flab/uncontrollable sobbing.
Nom de Plume said,
June 25, 2009 at 5:18
Is 5 minutes of lust worth the lifetime of guilt?
Only if you feel guilt about masturbating.
Oh, you weren’t talking about that?
Arky Schadenfreude said,
June 25, 2009 at 5:26
Real Republicans(R) don’t care if other Real Republicans(R) drop everything and run off to another country so they can cry in their mistresses’ laps because … uh … Socialism. Family values. And Gott Mitt Uns! Also!
ron said,
June 25, 2009 at 5:59
object of ridicule:
First, we need to be clear on the facts — not the media speculation:
* Sanford did tell his staff and family where he was going..
* Again though, at all times there was no doubt that Sanford’s staff and family knew where he was.
jenny stanford:
“This trial separation was agreed to with the goal of ultimately strengthening our marriage. During this short separation it was agreed that Mark would not contact us. I kept this separation quiet out of respect of his public office and reputation, and in hopes of keeping our children from just this type of public exposure. Because of this separation, I did not know where he was in the past week.“
Jennifer said,
June 25, 2009 at 7:17
Great photoshop, but it would be even better if there was a cartoon speech bubble coming from behind Eric in the stall, with “Scuse mah finGAHs!”
jim said,
June 25, 2009 at 9:33
Damn straight!
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
Sorry, Eric – we can’t hear what you’re trying to say over the sound of how fucking stupid you are. Want us to stop laughing? Take off the fright-wig & the red ball on your nose, dude – it might just work.
It probably doesn’t help much when you use “strikethrough” on the entire fucking post when you update it, Bunky … if you’re going to sit in the little chair & strap yourself in directly over the dunk-tank, baaaawing when someone pays their money & hits the bullseye is bad form. So is emo tripe like “You don’t get to judge us” when it’s coming from the very same crowd that was shitting itself raw over Obama’s favorite brand of iced-tea or his enjoyment of fucking arugula this time last year.
Odd how all it seems to take is the shoe changing feet, & suddenly it goes from a menace to the health of the state to a mere dalliance with no real signifigance – which just makes it more LOLworthy than ever!
In fairness, it must be noted that Eric The Dim’s commenters don’t seem to be either disappointed OR angry at HIM for being such a blatant shill … nasty as it may be to say, they truly do deserve each other.
Smut Clyde said,
June 25, 2009 at 10:58
The Yolk’s on Erick
Heh.
Is it any wonder that the yolk’s irony
And the yolk’s on you
The more I read the lyrics, the more they seem to apply to Erick.
I’m after rebellion, I’ll settle for lies.
MarkusR said,
June 25, 2009 at 13:57
I saw this on The Onion News Network some time ago. You should check it out.
MarkusR said,
June 25, 2009 at 13:59
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/congressman_offers_preemptive
actor212 said,
June 25, 2009 at 15:26
From Erick’s mea culpae:
Um, no.
I say this as a liberal, but it applies across the board.
No one elevates a politician to godhood status except the people who have a vested interest in seeing him fall. That means you, Erick, you and the rest of the punditocracy, and I’ll even throw in dKos and Americablog, both of whom were so in Obama’s pocket they could pick lint. You folks and the MSM pump up politicians of both stripes, and that makes them easy targets for the other side to pierce.
We the people either act like sheeple, bleating your words back to you, or we sit back and wonder where the next scandal comes from.
With Sanford, for example, instead of factually reporting his refusal of stimulus funding (a small portion, as it turns out), you basically set in motion his downfall by cheering him on, and touting him as the next candidate for the office.
The Democrats no doubt heard the rumours of his affairs, and set about making sure someone in his hometown paper got the story. And everyone on the left laughs, and everyone on the right looks for the next Democrat to similarly take down.
Most of us, right and left, would love to see politicians get the heck back to legislating, instead of “proving” their moral correctness only to fail miserably. Maybe we ought to take a lesson from the French and just assume every politico is sleeping with someone and grow the heck up already about it.
These are politicians, dammit, and they are corrupt by definition! You can’t win an election without money and you can’t get money AND serve the people without someone getting the short end of the stick.
And power, power is what they crave. The best hope we the people have is to come in second to their self-interest, mostly because we the people cannot possibly hope to match the amount of largess corporate America can smear on elections.
DONTREADONME said,
July 25, 2009 at 7:13
Glad to see that I got a rise out of you people, or maybe no rise considering you are here? I love it, I just tweaked you guys didn’t I?