Cattle and Caine

Above: American for Asperity turns pro.


Erick Erickson is a bin of pellets on the wall. When we’re hungry we go push a lever on it. It rewards us with pellets we eat. Pellets… [puts on sunglasses] Of laughter.

Erick Erickson, Human Events
Axelrod Astroturfs an Attack Against Palin

09/23/2008

The media love covering grassroots attacks on major political candidates. The attacks signal a large base of Americans disturbed by a particular candidate or issue. When those grassroots attacks are manufactured by public relations firms, they aren’t real: they’re astroturfed —

[pulls cardboard cutout of Erickson from behind the couch; tapes picture of sunglasses to it.]

— fake attacks designed to look like a grassroots movement.

Astroturfing. But the question, Alexx, is whether he’s protecting his turf… [puts on sunglasses] Or humecting in it.

Erick Erickson, RedState:
The RedState Gathering Gets Closer and Closer

06/23/2009

The RedState Gathering takes place in Atlanta, GA on August 1, 2009.

Atlanta. Or is that where… [puts on sunglasses] a Dead Late Blathering… [puts on sunglasses] fakes its case? [takes off one pair of sunglasses]

I’d like to thank American Majority and Americans for Prosperity for helping us out with it. Because of them, you guys get to come eat, drink, and visit on the cheap.

[takes off sunglasses, squints through collapsible telescope] Or should we say… [lowers telescope to show ring of shoe polish encircling eye] The chump? [periscope descends, MRI console rolls past, trace of light in sky is 1959 Corona spy satellite]


Notes:
Cf. conceit; title cf. Go-Betweens.
 

Comments: 127

 
 
Coach Urban Meyer
 

Ding dong dilly, loony libs.

 
The great smell of Brut
 

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

 
 

When those grassroots attacks are manufactured by public relations firms, they aren’t real: they’re astroturfed –

Care for a spot of tea?

 
 

I wouldn’t eat that kind of pellets if I were you.

 
 

Ooooooh! Someone didn’t close a tag.

 
 

Fuckity fuck fuck, what did the South ever do to deserve this?

….aaaaaaah, I mean, outside of treason.

I mean, our great state of South Ca’lina, where our governor is a fucking loon, our legislators are outright racists and we’re pushing gun purchases to “defend” against the Nigrah in the White House. Hey, why doesn’t RedState hold their fucking meetup here in Columbia? Or would that be redundant?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Welcome back, Mr. Lady Doctor Missus Marita!

 
 

And BTW, why the flying mother of all airborne fucks is John McCain going on CNN and issuing foreign policy pronounciamentos? Didn’t Johnny get the message that he fucking lost and should just sit down and shut up and let the President run things? For that matter, who keeps resetting the goddamn stopwatch on Palin’s 15 minutes? Doesn’t she have some Russians to be keeping an eye on or wolves to shoot or something?

 
 

Can you compost plastic grass clippings? Because that’s the impression I’m getting, that these are the same, warmed-over organizations who did such a bang up job getting McCain elected…

 
 

Astrotruthiness.

 
 

EE had a classic post yesterday about Sanford. Apparently, Sanford’s staff and wife knew exactly where he was; it was the liberal media apparatus that had created much ado about nothing.

Then the news broke about Sanford being in Argentina…

EE can’t catch a break.

 
 

Is there a body to go with that head?

Somehow the world would be a more interesting (better?) place with a right-wing head issuing proclamations for the Red State Trike Force to begin pedalling towards.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

“I’ve been unfaithful to my wife” … “with a dear dear friend from Argentina.”

 
 

Then the news broke about Sanford being in Argentina…

Guvnah Sanfud must have needed to renew a couple *ahem* contacts in that part of the world.

Or maybe he’s studying Latin American dictatorships for when he decides to run for Preznit.

 
 

Atlanta, that’s funny.

I live in Atlanta and I can say with some certainty that there are no Republicans here. Despite the common stereotype that the South is full of gun toting evangelicals, that does not hold in the city of Atlanta, which is predominantly Black, young and liberal. This is where the Jimmy Carter center is, after all.

They should hold this event in one of the northern suburbs, it would go over better there, or maybe in Macon.

 
 

“I’ve been unfaithful to my wife” … “with a dear dear friend from bankroller in Argentintlanta.”

Phyrrxzt.

 
 

Sanford admits to having an affair. Another Republican Bible-beater who can’t keep his dick in his pants.

Somehow, this will be considered good news for Republicans.

 
 

OT but just too shadenfreudelicious, Huff Po is saying that Mark Sanford was in Argentina, not Appalachia, and that he was there with a someone not his wife.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/23/sanfords-story-questioned_n_219809.html
“I spent the past five days of my life crying in Argentina,” he said, “so I could come back and cry here.”
Don’t cry for me Argentina…

 
 

Hey Dennis! I hear some other website says Mark Sanford was in Argentina!

 
 

Sanford admits to having an affair.

Well, not just that. He admitted to giving his staff a phony cover story and then going AWOL to another fucking country. This guy is the chief executive of his state. You know, supposedly in charge of shit like requesting disaster relief from the federal government, calling up the National Guard, etc.

I’d say there’s no way this could end in anything but his resignation, but then I must remember that he’s a conservative Republican. And the affair wasn’t gay. So he probably isn’t going anywhere. Hell, I wouldn’t even rule out the presidential bid. Since when does this sort of thing derail a Republican from anything?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Sammich w/veggies? Bah

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Sanford admits to having an affair.

Thank you Mark Sanford for giving us some of the most beautiful quotes a snark connoisseur could hope for.

“Adventure trips”
“Hiking the Appalachian trail”
“But I said ‘no’ I wanted to do something exotic”
“Driving the coast of Argentina”

 
 

Hey Dennis! I hear some other website says Mark Sanford was in Argentina!
Oh bite me. A lifetime of working as a mechanic and then as a machinist has reduced my typing speed to zed point fuck. My timely and informative post was knobbled by the fact that my arthritic fingers now only have a nodding acquaintance with my nervous system.They can’t all be gems.

 
 

Maybe he was searching for his presumed-dead brother in Argentina? Or was that Colombia? With his tall, beautiful Colombian sister-in-law?

Or is there some other reason for the Horatio (look! I can put on sunglasses!) Caine references?

And mixing it in with Airplane–well, Horatio would definitely fit in.

 
 

Don’t cry for me Argentina…

It’s going to take gallons of brain bleach to erase the image I now have of Sanford in the Madonna cone-bra.

 
 

There’s a photoshop in there somewhere, but I haven’t the time. Maybe tonight, if nobody else does it.

 
 

It’s going to take gallons of brain bleach to erase the image I now have of Sanford in the Madonna cone-bra.
Coffee>monitor.

 
 

Jed Lewison from DKos:

Larry Craig. Mark Foley. David Vitter. John Ensign. Mark Sanford. Clearly, they are the pro-family party.

And that’s just the past year or so. Add to that list John McCain, thrice-married Newt Gingrich…

Maybe this year the worm will turn and people will finally have had enough of these sanctimonious fucktards.

 
a concerned citizen
 

Exactly what part of his job couldn’t he do from several thousand miles away? As a Republican governor of a southern state, his main duty is to hold fundraising barbecues for the Republican president. What was he supposed to be doing?

I don’t know why he was ever considered a front-runner for anything. People in this country believe a lot of stupid shit, but “we should be more like South Carolina” is not one of those.

Mark my words, the usual idiots will be spinning this Sanford thing to prove how much better Republicans are at governing than Democrats. It is no coincidence that two of the best presidents of all time — Dubya, Reagan — took ridiculous amounts of vacation and always knocked off by 5PM, while the two worst of all time — Clinton, Obama — were/are notorious workaholics. Etc. etc.

Expect the higher end twits — eg Michael Barone — to bring up William Rufus DeVane King, and if we’re lucky, from there make some argument about how this incident proves gay marriage should be illegal.

Expect the lower-end ones to take it as proof that Obama has wrecked this country so bad that even true godly patriots like Sanford can’t stand to stay within our borders for very long. And probably also something about gay marriage too. Bookmark it, repubs.

 
 

Thank you Mark Sanford for giving us some of the most beautiful quotes a snark connoisseur could hope for.

“Adventure trips”
“Hiking the Appalachian trail”
“But I said ‘no’ I wanted to do something exotic”
Driving the coast of Argentina

LOL

Trying to drive along the coast could frustrate a weekend visitor to Argentina. In Buenos Aires, the Avenida Costanera is the only coastal road, and it’s less than two miles long. Reaching coastal resorts to the south requires a drive of nearly four hours on an inland highway with views of endless cattle ranches. To the north is a river delta of islands reached only by boat.

Also lol, Father’s Day. Oh, teh ironingks of being teh “family values” crowd.

 
 

Jeez, what kind of classy guy runs off with his mistress in South America, leaving the wife alone with the kids on Father’s Day?

How old are his kids, anyone know? (it’s not that I can’t ask the Great Gazoogle….)

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

LOL indeed!

I can’t believe I missed:
“I don’t know how this thing got blown out of proportion” and
“It was a long session and I needed a break”

Also, much as I respect Josh Talking Pants Marshall – dude seriously thinks too highly of people:

In what I can only call a very human discussion, Sanford is explaining that he went to Argentina on this trip was essentially to break off or end the relationship with the woman in Argentina and that he’s committed to trying to reconcile with his wife

Yup. They were “breaking it off” for SIX DAYS.

 
 

Exactly what part of his job couldn’t he do from several thousand miles away?

Keep his staff from looking like liars.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Maybe the relationship wasn’t what was breaking off…

 
 

And just so I get this straight,

D. Gov. of NY + tryst with DC hooker = resigns in public disgrace.
R. Gov. of SC + sneaking out of country for bouncy-bouncy with foreign e-mail pal = business as usual.

Just checking.

 
 

Yup. They were “breaking it off” for SIX DAYS.

So that’s what the cool kids are calling it these days.

 
 

I’ve watched the video of the Sanford press conference a couple of times. Did he ever actually say that his friend in the Argentine was a woman? I heard “friend,” “we,” etc., but not “woman” or “she.”

 
 

If it didn’t break off after six solid days it wasn’t for want of trying.

 
 

My Yahoo Mail front page erroneously told me he was resigning. But, when you click the link to the AP story, it says he’s not. Such a letdown. (Not really.)

 
 

He did say he had “hurt her, you all, my wife, my boys, my friends like Tom Davis.” Yeah, I was listening pretty closely for that, too.

 
 

He resigned as being the head of some Republican governor’s group.

 
 

D. Gov. of NY + tryst with DC hooker = resigns in public disgrace.
R. Gov. of SC + sneaking out of country for bouncy-bouncy with foreign e-mail pal = business as usual.

I’d like to apologize for the entire fucking state of South Carolina.

There’s smart people here, really there are.

 
 

There’s smart people here

“There are smart people here.”

 
 

D. Gov. of NY + tryst with DC hooker = resigns in public disgrace.
R. Gov. of SC + sneaking out of country for bouncy-bouncy with foreign e-mail pal = business as usual.

Shit, R. Sen from LA + tryst with DC hooker (who later commits suicide) = business as usual.

IOKIYAR.

The fucking sanctimonious religious hypocrisy makes it even worse. I hate those motherfuckers.

 
 

And Josh Marshall should save his fucking sympathy for someone who deserves it.

 
 

“There are smart people here.”

Bleh, you pedant.

that was OBVOUSLY short for the Southern dialect “There are’s smart people here”.

See? See? There’s something in the water down here, I tell you.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Y’all are too close to the Savannah River plant. Drink enough of the water and you glow a delicate green in the dark.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

There at smart people in Mississippi

 
 

He resigned as being the head of some Republican governor’s group.

Ah, I see. Thanks!

 
 

So, Fox News has already labeled Sanford as a Democrat:

http://wonkette.com/409435/fox-news-scoop-uhhmark-sanford-is-a-democrat

They’re just mailing it in now.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

Well, Sanford was on the outs anyways. The past few days of coverage was all about state senators et al, just about all of them GOPpers, bashing him and his dereliction of the executive seat. I guess he’s not too popular with the local party apparatchik:

Sanford sometimes had a contentious relationship with the South Carolina General Assembly, even though it is controlled by his party. The Republican-led SC House of Representatives overrode 105 of Sanford’s 106 budget vetoes on May 26, 2004. The following day, Sanford brought live pigs into the House chamber as a visual protest against “pork projects”.

On the plus side for social conservatism fail (but on the minus side for South Carolinians-liners?-liniites?-linese?) the guy in best position to replace him is probably Lt. Gov. Andre I Believe Bauer.

 
 

From Erick’s blog, yesterday:

“His political enemies… ginned up the media story.”

A commenter on the current post about the infidelity, today:

“I think many of these affairs are cooked up by political enemies.”

Damn you, political enemies! Damn you to hell!

 
 

I for one am gratified to see that Governor Sanford is not resistant to some forms of stimulus.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

The theory was true, then. Sanford DID go Galt….FROM HIS PANTS.

 
 

“I think many of these affairs are cooked up by political enemies

Argentinian mistress/Manchurian candidate

 
 

My vocabulary has been increased by approximately ‘zed point fuck.’ That one’s a keeper.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

“I think many of these affairs are cooked up by political enemies.”

Mark Sanford’s dick is a Democrat

 
 

Maté Hari?

 
 

Rebublicans are such assholes…

Well, thanks to the invasive media, starting today he is back at work in Columbia. So where has he been hiding? I’ll let the government-run media fight over which trails he was at. But don’t believe for a second that his wife and other VIP’s didn’t know where he was. Quite simply, he left for a few days to clear his head. He did this without taking his private security detail, which you and I pay for. Because of this no one really wanted to tell the media where he actually was. They knew – but they were smart enough to not give it away.

As it now appears that we are one of the most highly-trafficed Mark Sanford 2012 sites, I thought that I should at least weigh-in on this non-issue. But so many other people have covered this story so well that I don’t have a ton to add. My favorite write-up regarding this story is found at RedState.com – you can read the story at http://www.redstate.com/erick/2009/06/23/the-lessons-of-mark-sanfords-hike/.
http://www.sanford2012.org/where-in-the-world-is-mark-sanford/

Hypocritical assholes.

According to OnTheIssues.org, as a Member of Congress, Mark Sanford voted repeatedly against abortion rights; against gay marriage, civil unions, and gay adoptions; and for posting the Ten Commandments. As Governor, he continued those positions.

Moreover, a draft Sanford for president website spells this out:

Mark Sanford is also much more than a fiscal conservative. He supports banning partial-birth abortions and also voted for a bill that would make it a federal crime to transport a minor across state lines for the purpose of getting an abortion. Mark Sanford is against gay marriage and defines marriage as one man and one woman. He is also against letting gay couple adopt children.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christine-pelosi/after-sanford-lets-end-hy_b_220322.html

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

The theory was true, then. Sanford DID go Galt….FROM HIS PANTS.

PANTS IS THEFT

 
 

I love the way the rightwing assesses Sanford’s blundered getaway as proof of his comptence.

Ditch the security detail? That’s proof of his fiscal responsibility, not wasting the taxpayers’ dollars.

Fail to tell staff, family, and Lieutenant Governor? No, they’re cleverly ying to the media – (because if there’s anything political staff have learned works like a charm is lying to the media…!)

Leave the state without a leader? Hey – what’s wrong with less government?

I’ve worked for several public agencies myself, and one thing you learn is that 24/7, you’ve got to be able to reach the guy who signs for the funding – either him or his designee.

 
 

So yeah, it occurred to me: Sanford has been gone since Thursday. Did he “break it off” with his GF on Thursday? Sunday? This morning, on the plane, just before they made him turn off his cellphone? Timing is everything.

Also, regarding his positions (heh) vs. his behavior: this surprises you how now?

To his credit, though, he at least didn’t drag his wife to the presser while he made his confession.

 
 

My Yahoo Mail front page erroneously told me he was resigning
— to spend more time with his families.

Maté Hari?
How much time did you spend thinking up that one?
Hrrumph.

 
 

“I think many of these affairs are cooked up by political enemies.”

The irony is strong in this one.

 
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love
 

YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

 
 

“www.sanford2012.org”

I’ll take useless URLs for $400, Alex.

 
 

How much time did you spend thinking up that one?
Hrrumph.

No need to be a graucho just because I baked your gourd.

Oh my, that sounded pampas.

 
Dragon-King Wangchuck
 

How much time did you spend thinking up that one?
Hrrumph.

I’m jealous too.

In non-Sanford news, and actually relevant to the post:
PENIS.

 
 

But wait: there’s more! As others have pointed out, Sanford’s paramour has not been identified as a woman. Said paramour may not even be of the species Homo Sapiens. There’s a lot of cattle in Argentina.

 
 

I think many of these affairs are coked up

Foxed.

 
 

Gosh, this is so much fun. Per a DKos diary, adultery is a crime in South Carolina, punishable by “imprisonment for not less than six months”.

Gotta love those mandatory minimums.

 
 

But wait: there’s more! As others have pointed out, Sanford’s paramour has not been identified as a woman. Said paramour may not even be of the species Homo Sapiens. There’s a lot of cattle in Argentina.

Perhaps Sanford was playing “The Crying Game.”

 
 

Oh my, that sounded pampas.
Quoth Gaucho Marx.

 
 

In other CSI: Miami news, Jonathan Togo, best known for playing Ryan Wolfe on the series, is starring in a web series called “My Best Friend is my Penis” that premiered October 22.

Hey, mine too!

 
 

Don’t Patagonia — they can bite.

 
 

Perhaps Sanford was playing “The Crying Game.”
Or “The Lowing Game.” From the looks of him, I’d bet that the phrase “Stump broke calf” would cause him to burn his scrapbooks.

 
 

“Mark Sanford… defines marriage as one man and one woman.”

And one other woman.

 
 

Commie atheist’s penis is also Jonathan Togo’s best friend?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

“Mark Sanford… defines marriage as one man and one woman, for no more than twenty years.”

 
thetragicsongwildfire
 

Oh, nooooo….

“The Atlanta Tea Party was forced to cancel it’s Independence Day celebration in Gwinnett, after losing it’s location due to the objection of Gwinnett Place Mall (a Simon company.) The Tea Party had been scheduled to take place in the parking lot of the old Macy’s building at Gwinnett Place since March.”

http://www.peachpundit.com/2009/06/22/july-4th-tea-party-canceled/

They are merging with the Cobb County tea party which features grassroots Clear Channel djs to “fire up the crowd”. The whole thing is very fine. And, hey, it’s hard to throw a party for 100 wingnuts, even if the dip is free.

 
 

Commie atheist’s penis is also Jonathan Togo’s best friend?

Why won’t these gay guys stop sucking my cock?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Commentator at wildfire’s link:

If I was a store at Gwinnett Place, I would be furious!

 
 

even if the dip is free.
Soggy-biscuit game DO NOT WANT.

 
 

“The Atlanta Tea Party was forced to cancel it’s Independence Day celebration in Gwinnett, after losing it’s location due to the objection of Gwinnett Place Mall (a Simon company.) The Tea Party had been scheduled to take place in the parking lot of the old Macy’s building at Gwinnett Place since March.”

Private property, mother fuckers! Private property where they’d rather people park to come in and spend money rather than take up space, create liability and logistics problems, and scare off paying customers.

 
The Republican Party's Plan for America
 

Continued revelations of our adulterous affairs will leave one question in the minds of American voters:

“What is OBAMA hiding?”

 
 

And the odds that the good people of South Carolina will not elect another bigoted, hypocritical, grandstanding douchebag are….?

 
 

The Atlanta Tea Party was forced to cancel it’s Independence Day celebration
That sentence is a veritable holocaust of Apostrophe-Americans.

If I was a store at Gwinnett Place, I would be furious! boarded up and covered with graffiti.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

I think I’d be okay if I got to be a Starbucks or even an FYE, but I guess I’d be furious if I had to be Hot Topic.

 
 

If I was a store at Gwinnett Place, I would be one of those kiosks that sells sunglasses.

 
 

Continued revelations of our adulterous affairs will leave one question in the minds of American voters:

“What is OBAMA hiding?”

Well, considering that Fox News is suddenly identifying Sanford as a Democrat (funny how their Chyron never seems to fuck up until a Republican is in a scandal), you can bet that at least a couple million Fox viewers are thinking that very thing.

 
 

I would be furious! boarded up and covered with graffiti.

Can I take that back? On second thoughts I want to be one of those sparsely-stocked convenience stores that really deals drugs.

 
a concerned citizen
 

From the RedState “story”:

We expect so much more from Republicans, and that’s why this will be front page news for days.

Indeedily-doo.

 
Scotch Tape Store
 

Come to the grand opening celebration of our new Gwinnett Place store!

 
 

Gavin, kudos. Best use of parentheses I’ve seen all week (granted, I can’t spell, but you get my meaning).
Pere Ubu, you rock. I quote:

“And BTW, why the flying mother of all airborne fucks is John McCain going on CNN and issuing foreign policy pronounciamentos? Didn’t Johnny get the message that he fucking lost and should just sit down and shut up and let the President run things? For that matter, who keeps resetting the goddamn stopwatch on Palin’s 15 minutes? Doesn’t she have some Russians to be keeping an eye on or wolves to shoot or something?”
Is it me, or does this question approach Koan status? You’d hafta be a Zen master to answer it, anyways…

 
 

This sounds like a typical, dirty, Chicago-style political hit job on Sanford. I bet Rahm Emmanuel’s fingerprints are all over this story being “broken” to the media.

 
 

We expect so much more from Republicans

Please tell me there will be more.

 
Shorter Dr. Change
 

It’s ALWAYS the Democrats’ fault. No matter what.

 
 

“Chicago-style political hit job”? I guess Rahm pushed him so hard his dick accidentally fell into that woman. In Argentina.

 
 

Don’t you find it odd that all of Obama’s political opponents keep getting hit with scandals and pounded by the media? Jindal. The Palin family. Gingrich. Sanford. Hmmm….all possible 2012 opponents, all victims of Daley-style politics?

 
 

Love the comment thread over at the local SC paper:
http://www.thestate.com/sanford/story/839231.html

This morning (Between the time the story had changed from Appalachian Trail” to “Argentinian getaway”) they were all “Hey, leave the guy alone, he’s entitled to get away to clear his head”, and “It’s not like he was doing anything wrong!” Now that the story has evolved, the defense has shifted to, “Hey, leave the guy alone, it’s between him and his wife!”, and “At least he was with a woman!” and, of course, the ever popular “Bu-bu-but CLINTON was worse!” Stay tuned to see what happens when the suspiciously genderless “friend” turns out to be–ahem–NOT female!

Gotta love watching heads in the heard of wingnutville go all splodey!

 
 

all victims of Daley-style politics?

If these “victims” can’t defend themselves against CHICAGO how do we expect them to defend America against A WORLD FULL OF ENEMIES?

 
 

The GOP has gotten so weak that the trickle-down trolls are reduced to lame acts like Dr. Change.

Is that sad? I can’t tell.

 
 

Jindal. The Palin family. Gingrich. Sanford

Politcal opponents, you say? Man, you couldn’t pick better opponents if you tried.

That’s some weapons-grade stoopid, there.

 
 

Wait… No underage boys? No toilet stalls? No diapers? This IS good news for the GOP!

 
Danny Mason Keener
 

Can you imagine Juan PIerre playing on astroturf? Dude would have like 250 singles and an OBP like 5 points higher than his B.A.

 
 

Too bad for Obambi that his Daley machine hit men will never find any skeletons in the closet of Romney or Jeb Bush.

 
 

Mark Sanford voted repeatedly against abortion rights; against gay marriage, civil unions, and gay adoptions… As Governor, he continued those positions.

Also he is entitled to privacy in his personal family life, which is no-one else’s business.

 
 

What I find “odd”, Dr. Change, is that one of you right-wing hairballs actually figured out the comment function. As to President Obama’s opponents stumbling into public humiliation, well, that’s only to be expected. If you behave like a scumbag privately, but act like a saint publicly, you hafta expect to get called out sometime. Open bet: 100$ US says Sanford was banging an underage boy. No bet on the chance that Dr. Change is doing the same….

 
 

Aww…they must not be feeling very tough these days. They seemed to have dropped the word ‘army’ from the original “RedState Army Gathering.”

I wonder if they’ve rescinded their invitation to Sanford:

From May:
“We’ve invited the following people to speak, though not all have confirmed yet:

Congressman Tom Price
Secretary of State Karen Handel
Governor Mark Sanford
Senator Jim DeMint
Congressman Mike Pence
Speaker of the Florida House Marco Rubio”

But Sanford no longer appears on any of their list of “invited, but still unconfirmed” speakers.

 
 

So Obama is so powerful he can make “family values” stalwarts cheat on their spouses and lie to their constituents, force paragons of virtue to have their minor children impregnated by unemployed high school drop outs, and will a man to make the worst rebuttal to the SOTU speech in my lifetime? Cool. Can’t wait to vote for him in 2012!

 
Elliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton, John Edwards, and Gary Hart
 

Hey! What about us!?

 
 

Ow! Down Fawget mew, gwuys! Pwease Dwant! *drools*

 
 

will never find any skeletons in the closet of Romney or Jeb Bush.

Romney is Mormon, Jeb’s brother is George W.

 
 

Don’t you find it odd that all of Obama’s political opponents keep getting hit with scandals ……all victims of Daley-style politics?

Yes, Obama’s mighty mind-control powers made Sanford start an affair with another woman one year ago! and even more sinister, he retroactively made Gingrich divorce his wife at her hospital bedside back in 1981!

I bet Rahm Emmanuel’s fingerprints are all over this story being “broken” to the media

Right. Because governors going missing without informing the Lt. Governor or their own staff is a pretty routine thing, the papers in South Carolina usually just shrug it off.

 
 

The comments over at that sad, sad post about the cancelled Tea Party are hilarious!

I especially love the guy who mistrusts the media reporting about the situation in Iran – he says that since he doesn’t speak Arabic, he’s not even sure they’re translating correctly.

When someone points out to him the fact that the Iranian people speak Farsi, not Arabic, he blows it off, but after a little more back and forth he says:

Just using my brain a little bit more rather than consume everything around me as the absolute truth. I’m into maximizing truthiness. You should be too, but apparently you’re a committed member of the media illuminati and don’t want to stretch your mind just the weeist of bits.

 
 

I’m into maximizing truthiness.

‘Maximizing Truthiness’ = worst p0rn-name evah.

 
 

his Daley machine hit men will never find any skeletons in the closet of Romney or Jeb Bush.

Skeletons are the least of their closet-related concerns.

 
 

Daley machine hit men will never find any skeletons in the closet of Romney or Jeb Bush.

1. So you’re saying that Jeb and Romney share a closet? Scandalous!

2. I think you mean Dalek machine hit men … Exposinate!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I bet Rahm Emmanuel’s fingerprints are all over this story being “broken” to the media Mark Sanford’s cock.

Don’t you find it odd that all of Obama’s political opponents keep getting hit with scandals ……all victims of Daley-style politics stupidity and hypocrisy?

Fee-ixed.

Maté Hari?

Maté->Monitor. I almost choked on my bombilla.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

‘Maximizing Truthiness’ = worst p0rn-name evah.

I, myself, would vote for weeist of bits.

 
thetragicsongwildfire
 

Please note:

…He is a Deacon at Vineville Presbyterian Church…

http://www.erickerickson.org/blog/?page_id=2

Now, please note:

…as the historic neighborhood became more integrated, membership at the all-white church began to dwindle…

…Today, the century-old church will worship for the final time, at least under the name Vineville Presbyterian. With its membership down to below 50, the church voted last month to dissolve. The building will be used by the Central Georgia Presbytery as a mission to reach out to minorities and, eventually, be “replanted” as a multicultural church. “It’s a great neighborhood to become multicultural,” said the Rev. Tom Anderson, associate pastor at First Presbyterian in Macon. “The demographics of the area should make it ideal for that.”…

http://www.macon.com/198/story/718383.html

Poor Erik. He was a deacon at an all-white church with less than 50 members. Unfortunately, the leadership of the church couldn’t hold it together–even given the historic building, etc.–and now his congregation is dissolving and the church is becoming “multicultural”. I wonder if he’s still a deacon? Also, don’t ya kinda wonder how he voted on the deacon’s committee? (He has a long history of, how shall we say?, dissent, maybe on the Macon town council.)

 
 

I, myself, would vote for weeist of bits.
It was the thin edge of the slippery slope when coffee-bar staff started calling themselves ‘baristas’. Soon lavatory attendants insisted on the title ‘weeista”.
Don’t start me on ‘ballistas’.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love said,

June 24, 2009 at 22:04 (kill)

YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Seriously, you guys, why did this line take so bloody fucking long? This should’ve been first post, god dammit.

 
 

Don’t start me on ‘ballistas’.

So the Sandinistas were just beach bum sweepers?

 
 

Funniest writing ever.

 
 

(comments are closed)