Comments on: Will Nature Make A Swank Of Me Yet?

By: If The Goddamn Batman Blogged About Every Time He Chatted With A Sexy, Thoughtful Young Decapitator, He'd Have No Time To Fight Crime

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 19:39:28 +0000

D. Aristophanes wins all the internets on infinite Earths.

By: imp

imp — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 05:45:44 +0000

Thank teh Gods Reverend Swank was able to tell this jumped up pantry boy about teh Jesus. Rev. Swank knows so much about these things!

By: Michael

Michael — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 22:49:35 +0000

So who’s this good writer you’re talking about?

By: jim

jim — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 17:06:38 +0000

Oh PLEASE let him get the “divine inspiration” to write a novel – or maybe we could even chip in to commission one – hot diggity damn, that thing would make “A Clockwork Orange” read like Erma Bombeck.

He’s most definitely touched, & I don’t mean by an angel.

By: Mr. Wonderful

Mr. Wonderful — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 16:51:09 +0000

I keep telling you people, Swank is the Shakespeare of Bizarro World. All it takes is orthography:

Today he sits in a jail where I once served
As substance abuse counselor. I know quite well
The psych cell that he now inhabits for
Frequently I counseled persons there in
That awesome space laden with dark spirits.

By: zombie rotten mcdonald

zombie rotten mcdonald — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 16:12:14 +0000

That Pastor Swank Bateman is priceless.

By: 59 Les Paul Copy

59 Les Paul Copy — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 14:17:17 +0000

“SWINE: TIME FOR MESSIAH OBAMA TO WORLD GOVERN

Obama world govern force homo nups!

He’s like some evil shadow Dr. Bronner. “HOMO NUPS NEVER! OBAMA WORLD GOVERN NEVER! DILUTE! DILUTE! OK!””

No, Vambo Rools, Okay?

By: Bill S

Bill S — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 13:01:11 +0000

or “OPEN” to multiple interpretation. Damn typos.

By: Bill S

Bill S — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 12:59:26 +0000

“I told him about Jesus. He cut off her head.”
Y’know, that title’s actually confusing, isn’t it?
Who cut off whose head?
Did the guy he told cut off the “her” head?
Did Jesus cut off her head?
Or, perhaps “Jesus” isn’t the Jesus of the Bible, but a woman with very weird parents.
Just sayin’, it’s opern to multiple interpretation. Kinda like the column itself.

By: Lesley

Lesley — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 07:51:29 +0000

Swank is to Jesus what Squeaky Fromme was to Charles Manson.

By: Rhodo Zeb

Rhodo Zeb — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 06:10:05 +0000

And then…

By: Lenora the Jazzy Patent Attorney

Lenora the Jazzy Patent Attorney — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 06:01:06 +0000

I went looking for JanusSwank, but all I found was some guy’s lame blog.

By: Pastor Grant Swank

Pastor Grant Swank — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 05:38:11 +0000

The young man of face jovial queried of me, “Is Phil Collins your artist premier of liking? Since global release of the record album Duke I have been in the way of a fan ultra. The confusions about the work preceded this, also. This works previous was of artistic fartsiness maximum.”

He continued in other ways along this line, speaking continually. “Moving and superior is the monogamy song popular In Too Deep, premier chant-verse of the eighties. It appears to soul-lift as in the way of the Christ. Among the rockings and rollings of the youth, this lyricism is affirmative complete. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole.”

By: Knights in White Satin

Knights in White Satin — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 05:05:32 +0000

“…other details most gross, one being that he sliced off her head and so forth…”

So, um, what is more gross than slicing a head off? Never mind, I don’t want to know.

By: commie atheist

commie atheist — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 04:53:32 +0000

D. Aristophanes quoted His Nibs: …Whatever comes out of his or her mouth is taken by chance and by golly. It may edge on the side of myth and high rhythm. On the other hand, it may be nothing more than babble and crumble.

Wow, that’s beautiful.

Yes, but it’s a terrible beauty.

Best Sadly, No thread ever. I laughed, I cried.

By: W. Kiernan

W. Kiernan — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 04:44:56 +0000

D. Aristophanes quoted His Nibs: ...Whatever comes out of his or her mouth is taken by chance and by golly. It may edge on the side of myth and high rhythm. On the other hand, it may be nothing more than babble and crumble. Wow, that's beautiful.

By: a concerned citizen

a concerned citizen — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 04:36:42 +0000

Really only Nabakov and a few others are able to provide us with such a convincing, yet unreliable, narrator.

I think that given his tendency for casually including the fantastical and the surreal, he's more like one of Marquez' characters. Love in the time of Homo Nups One Hundred Years of Dhimmitude No One Writes to the Batshit Crazy Pastor Carbuncle of an Ass Foretold Memories of My Melancholy Man-Whores

By: Bullsmith

Bullsmith — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 04:31:45 +0000

henry,

Far as I can surmise, it doesn’t look good for the Methodists.

By: henry lewis

henry lewis — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 04:25:38 +0000

Where was JanusSwank going with that?

By: JanusSwank

JanusSwank — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 04:15:31 +0000

His warning about the Republicans to find a leader. Right. He made that comment after bewailing the lack of luster that John McCain has publicly stated that he now belongs to, Trinity United Church of Christ when He instructed His own to love friends and enemies alike. It is sick.

Soul sick. Those clergy and congregations who invite these charlatans into their own Valentine plastic sheaths, tied with red ribbon. Breakfast with Christians begins with grace. That’s one of the truly liberated. Both issues will be a likeable young adult with an exceptionally friendly waitress. She not only stay for the Presidency who condemned the Supreme Court for banning partial-birth abortion. If Obama really came into a macabre fantasy. We have not yet come upon the offspring who rips out his own rewriting religion to favor his apostate, theologically liberal Methodist who advertises that it has no end. One could tell on Beck’s face that he was tripping off thought patterns that spelled Quits for the Presidency who condemned the Supreme Court name whereas a Dem in the store. I thought him a man. At least she thought him a man. At least she thought him a man. At least she thought him a man.

At least she thought him a man. But he did add that he now belongs to, Trinity United Church of Christ closest to the ground in his life for good. Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn’t.