Jun
11
11
We’ve Always Been At War With East Negrostan
Shorter LoadPants:
Jonah Goldberg, Nationalist Review Online TeeVee’s “Off the
PageRocker”
Jonah Goldberg on Race & Sotomayor
- Government should never consider race except, of course, for racial profiling of young Muslim males which really isn’t profiling at all and is central to my point. Also, the reason why college legacy admission programs are okay and affirmative action is not is because we fought the Civil War, and hundreds of thousands of people died, to make sure that Negroes wouldn’t interfere with the right of white kids to go to the college of their choice.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
slippy toad said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:09
At this point I am all for putting the progeny of America’s Elite into a rocket and firing them into space to colonize some other planet.
We would never have to worry about that planet developing spaceflight or the ability to attack us because if Jonah Goldberg is a representative of what the scions of inherited wealth and privilege can achieve with their private-school educations and social connections, they will become extinct as a species within a single generation because they’re apparently too fucking stupid to remember to breathe on their own.
D. Aristophanes said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:10
J-Dough was up all night fapping over the chance to use the word ‘epiphenomenal’ in this clip.
laym said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:15
Jonah hungry, Jonah need sammich!
D. Aristophanes said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:17
Pantload:
But, if you’ve got a description that says, ‘It was two black youths’ or ‘two white youths’, it makes a lot sense to go looking for two black youths or two white youths as the case may be.
Stop the liberal plot to prevent police from looking for suspects based on specific descriptions!
Looch said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:17
The hand waving. Or fwapping. And the late wiping of the forehead as flopsweat loomed. That boy has flown so far up his fundamental aperture he doesn’t know which way is up, down or sideways. P-Load is like a bird trapped inside the garage, all fluttery and flustered.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:20
Off The Page? Isn’t that what they were yelling at Mark Foley?
alec said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:23
I’ve always loved the conservative belief that police procedure is so arcane and mysterious that nobody can possibly tell when they’re lying to score some kind of arcane social point. On the plus side, it means their winning elections is conditional on a significant segment of the public mistaking ‘Let’s not torture usable intelligence assets until they issue false confessions the government wants’ for ‘Let’s mirandize terrorists because we’re big girly fags’. On the minus side, we have to fucking listen to it over and over and over.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:28
Caption: “Once a fish THIS BIG was central to my point.”
biff diggerence said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:29
“Racialist”
Oooh. Wudn’t dat Newtie’s?
These guys eat each other’s shit, I swear.
David Vitter said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:31
@biff diggerence:
Why the FUCK was I not informed?
Righteous Bubba said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:33
That’s really good.
Pere Ubu said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:33
But, if you’ve got a description that says, ‘It was two black youths’ or ‘two white youths’, it makes a lot sense to go looking for two black youths or two white youths as the case may be.
Which of course to Pantload means “grab the first two black kids you see ‘cuase they’re probably guilty of something anyway”.
alec said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:36
What are you talking about? Obviously finding the ‘criminals’ and bringing them to ‘justice’ is much less important than reminding the coloreds of their place.
D. Aristophanes said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:40
Tintin – thanks for alerting us to ‘Off the Page’ … what a goldmine. In an earlier edition Jay Nordlinger is asked by the semi-literate host whether Alito’s reference to thinking about his own ancestry when confronted with discrimination cases is similar to Sotomayor’s statements. Nordlinger’s response: No, that’s different.
Classic.
biff diggerence said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:41
“Jonah Goldberg calls for a national discussion of race following Sonia Sotomayor’s nomination.”
Huh?
I didn’t realize New Yorican was a race.
Anyway, he’s late. The last serious discussion on race was settled last November.
Does this fat fuck have any idea what he’s talking about?
Till said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:43
Yay sammich.
another jim said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:43
DAMN, you guys.
Don’t put a headline and a picture like that at the top of the page, when I’m trying to leave for work.
My neighbors have just heard me howling with laughter like Ozzy meets Dr. Evil.
Tintin said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:43
@D. Aristophanes. We’ve downloaded all the Off the Page videos, broken out the video-editing software, fired up the chroma-keying function, and have some fun in store.
Gary said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:44
Clearly a photshop – Jonah would never eat a sandwich that healthy.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:48
You should also check out Bill Whittle explaining from the bridge of the Enterprise why smart people shouldn’t be president:
http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/bwhittle/2009/06/10/the-dowd-conundrum/
Bill E Pilgrim said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:53
“When you say racist it sounds like you’re talking about a Klansman”.
“So I invented a new word.”
Credit Jonah Goldberg with one thing, he’s invented his own category of simply making things up because the existing words prove that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
“Racist “sounds” bad so I invented a new word that I define as “a way to call someone a racist but if someone points out how ridiculous that is I can define the word to exclude whoever I want it to because not doing so would prove that I have no idea what I’m talking about.”
It’s Calvin Ball all the way.
NutellaonToast said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:59
Wow, Doughy talks fast. Must think that makes up for thinking slow.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:00
His name is Jonah, he was a showgirl
But that was half a year ago, when they used to have a show
Now it’s a fish-wrap, but not for Jonah
Still in the dress he used to wear, faded codpiece in his hair
He sits there so refined, and jerks himself half-blind
He lost his Bush and he lost his Cheney
Now he’s lost his mind
Obama's Secret Police said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:02
Our records indicate that Mr. Goldberg has consumed at least 282 lbs. of Velveeta™ processed cheese product in the past 60 days. Previous days records have been transferred offsite to hard flash encoding. They are available under the Freedom of Information Act designation “Loadpants and Velveeta™ “
NickM said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:03
I object to that photoshopped sub. It has vegetables in it – including cucumbers. It looks almost healthy. Can you imagine Jonah allowing his mommy to serve him a sub with space between the buns wasted on vegetables? Replace the cucumbers, tomatoes and lettuce with slabs of fatback and I’ll believe it.
Calvin said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:03
@Bill E Pilgrim: I can’t believe you would compare my invention to the sophomoric half-thoughts of this booger brain. Also, while I’m here, I’d like to once and for all dispatch the slanderous rumors that I grew up to Russ Douthat. His chapter of G.R.O.S.S. is entirely unsanctioned.
Till said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:04
Also, when you say “conservative”, I still think of the Whigs. Or Metternich. Wasn’t Doughy recently lecturing David Neiwert about how the KKK are a laughable irrelevance?
I expect he’ll next be telling us how “date rape” can’t be called rape, because that’s what the barbarian hordes do after they invade your city and kill the menfolk.
g said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:04
Ah, the sammich! I’m hungry now.
LittlePig said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:05
At this point I am all for putting the progeny of America’s Elite into a rocket and firing them into space to colonize some other planet.
Sure! Yeah, that’s the ticket! “some other planet”…I like the sound of that.
“Err, Mr. Goldberg, this ‘planet’ we’re heading for looks a lot like the Sun”
“Nonsense, boy, we’re heading for our new Galtian paradise on Venus. They told us that when we marched onto this ship…”
alec said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:05
Well, to be fair, Jonah didn’t actually invent ‘racialist’. David Duke’s been using it in emulation of BNP race-obsessives since the 80s, and God knows that’s who the Republican Party needs to recapture the national spirit.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:06
“Nonsense, boy, we’re heading for our new Galtian paradise on Venus. They told us that when we marched onto this ship…”
“Unhinged” is a COOKBOOK!!!!
Looch said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:07
Are them real books back in the shelf? Or them fakey book-like objects to fill otherwise vacant shelves? High-res please.
Jonah Goldberg said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:09
The books are all made of pie. There, I just saved you half an hour. Fascist.
LittlePig said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:09
“What ya say, boy?” *damn it’s getting hot in here* “Kornbluth? What’s that? A new breakfast cereal?”
OneMadClown said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:10
I object to that photoshopped sub. It has vegetables in it – including cucumbers. It looks almost healthy. Can you imagine Jonah allowing his mommy to serve him a sub with space between the buns wasted on vegetables? Replace the cucumbers, tomatoes and lettuce with slabs of fatback and I’ll believe it.
No, it all makes sense. Those chunks of veg were included in an attempt to dislodge a Velveeta-induced blockage. Jonah’s biggest fear in life, aside from the shuttering of Frito-Lay factories worldwide, is that a severe enough intestinal obstruction will occur such that he’ll become literally full of shit and explode.
Spiny Norman said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:11
God, I love the never-read, fake-leather-bound books on the Ikea shelving unit behind him…
OneMadClown said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:12
I expect he’ll next be telling us how “date rape” can’t be called rape, because that’s what the barbarian hordes do after they invade your city and kill the menfolk.
Rape is what Jonah does to rational thought every time he opens his pie-hole. Interestingly enough, rape is also what Jonah does to a bag of Funyuns.
Uncle Ned said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:14
The only thing better in the morning than taking a healthy shit is a large dose of Pantloadian logic.
Jonah’s idiotic essays make me feel proud I am not that fucking stupid and that, ideologically and intellectually, I’m doing just fine.
It’s quite refreshig, acually. A giant load off my mind, so to speak. Kind of like taking a big dump.
Uncle Ned said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:17
PS–in a REAL Pantload sammich, I bet there’d be much fewer veggies (if any) and much, much more meat.
laym said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:17
Sammich! T’anks!
Spiny Norman said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:22
“Rape is what Jonah does to rational thought every time he opens his pie-hole. Interestingly enough, rape is also what Jonah does to a bag of Funyuns.”
“Rational thought” and “Jonah” not only in the same paragraph, but the same sentence. You should be ashamed, OneMadClown.
Looch said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:22
I watched again with the sound off. He is a flippin’ every whichaway, like he is trying to throw a hook or sump’n.
Spiny Norman said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:23
Uncle Ned — do you classify baloney as “meat”?
Pere Ubu said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:26
I object to that photoshopped sub. It has vegetables in it – including cucumbers.
You know about “Buddhist beef”, right? Vegetable protiens made into meat to enable eating “meat” while staying vegetarian.
Well, those are a new item known as “Galt Veggies”, which are 100% pork, processed and colored, into something resembling vegetables in color, texture and taste – but without any of the nutritional value of real vegetables! We’re sure these will go over big with the conservative carnivore crowd… big, that is, until they all drop dead from stroke and MIs. But hey, omlettes and eggs, y’know!
Looch said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:31
Wouldn’t a large Empanadilla de carne be the better food item of choice for Herr P-Load?
Newbie McNoob said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:32
I can’t tell from the picture if Doughy is salivating at the prospect of eating the sammich or ecstatic that he managed to wrest said sammich from K-Lo’s iron grip.
Looch said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:38
On second thought, no. A big ol’ corny dog!
Zandar1 said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:40
Golgafrincham Ark B is GO!
Looch said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:49
Newbie: There is no way he gets that sandwich (prey item) from K-Lo. Na ga happen. She had three and gave him one.
Dylan said,
June 11, 2009 at 19:53
Ah yes, I know when I want to have a discussion on racial relations in America, I look to two privileged white men who advocate fiscal, social, and international policies that benefit privileged white men.
Give me a break.
Darth Revan said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:01
Newbie: There is no way he gets that sandwich (prey item) from K-Lo. Na ga happen. She had three and gave him one.
That’s also unlikely. K-Lo doesn’t part with any of her sandwiches, even to Pantload, without ‘services’ being rendered.
laym said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:05
without ’services’ being rendered
Well, that just put me off of my sammich.
alec said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:06
I’ve just realized something critical: everything Doughy Pantload says is significantly improved if you imagine it being sung by Randy Newman.
N.C. said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:08
On NRO, there was a poem
About K. Lo, who found two sammiches
She picked at one
She licked the other
She went in circles
’til she dropped dead
Bitter Scribe said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:12
That sub is all wrong. Too many veggies, too little meat and cheese.
Looch said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:14
“That’s also unlikely. K-Lo doesn’t part with any of her sandwiches, even to Pantload, without ’services’ being rendered.”
“Oooh, P-Load, is that big ol’ corny dog for li’l ol’ ME?”
(Now runs off, arms over head, never to return)
Till said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:15
Oh, fun:
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jGaVJ5_Ms8RdAg5rHUHRjNj6UB1AD98OI9UG0
Cue the screeching from the usual sources, I’m sure. Anti-semites = all liberals!!!
Woody said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:18
#D. Aristophanes said,
June 11, 2009 at 18:10
J-Dough was up all night fapping over the chance to use the word ‘epiphenomenal’ in this clip.
J-Dough!
X-lent!
I tried “Little Lord Loadinpants” for a while, but it’s ungainly…henceforth, J-Dough it is!
Lunch Lady said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:25
Someday, you’ll thank us for Baked Chicken Thursdays.
Pere Ubu said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:35
That sub is all wrong. Too many veggies, too little meat and cheese.
I explained before about the “veggies”!
Look for upcoming products in the “Galt” line, such as Porktatos, Beefroccoli, Mayo-Lard, and Let-Us-Not!
Brandi said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:36
Very tangential to this thread: I was re-reading the (alas, fallow since ’01) site trashfiction.co.uk, which features some truly fantastic books, when I came across a little nugget of joy pertaining to Mama Goldberg.
http://www.trashfiction.co.uk/wild_white_witch.html (No, the title doesn’t apply to her; just read the last couple paragraphs of the review.)
Not Looch who is never to return said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:45
From TBogg:
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/06/11/the-dream-team/
Don Serber writes:
“From left, the women are Katharine Harris, Carrie Prejean, Sarah Palin, Michelle Malkin, and Michele Bachmann.
These five women are are not the only ones that American liberals ridicule without fear. They are like little boys who cannot handle a strong woman. These women dare challenge them intellectually, and so we get crude counterattacks.”
Gurgle…gurgle…blub…blub…brane go bloohey…
g said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:49
I expect he’ll next be telling us how “date rape” can’t be called rape, because that’s what the barbarian hordes do after they invade your city and kill the menfolk.
Unless it’s a comedian making a joke about someone. Then it’s full-bore immoral outrageous seckshual pervershun!
Pere Ubu said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:52
Don’t ask me what the Catsup is made of.
Just… don’t.
Xecky Gilchrist said,
June 11, 2009 at 20:55
No way would the ‘load eat a sandwich with actual vegetables on it.
…what? How many? Five people made that same joke before me on this same thread? Bedam.
Sorry.
Tommmcatt said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:01
Xecky-
It’s the thought that counts.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:03
Bedam.
Hey, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there appear to be vegetables in that sammich. Hoohaw, Jonah eating lettuce, cucumbers and tomatoes? To larf, it is.
alec said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:07
Condoleeza Rice is a strong woman. Sarah Palin is a fantastically inefficient porn-star. If you thought of women in any terms besides the orifices presented to you, you would fucking know that.
Jesus Christ.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:07
Vegetable Growers Association of America
The Green House
Heartland, USA
Sir,
This is an ultimatum. Understand that consequences will result if you continue on with your nefarious plots to insert vegetables such as cucumbers into places they were never meant to go…
Pere Ubu said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:14
Understand that consequences will result if you continue on with your nefarious plots to insert vegetables such as cucumbers into places they were never meant to go…
I used to have a video like that.
. . .
what?
Oh, and try “Galt’s Gulch” No-Salt Food Flavorer – made with 100% all-natural sodium chloride, with just a hint of lipids! Put it on everything!
Rusty Shackleford said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:19
Vegetables
Anthony said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:19
Oh boy! Here comes a new wave of Von Brunn was really a liberal based attacks.
http://www.salon.com/politics/war_room/?last_story=/politics/war_room/2009/06/11/standard/
g said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:20
These five women are are not the only ones that American liberals ridicule without fear.
We ridicule them without fear, because we’re little boys who can’t handle them?
Isn’t that contradictory?
And doesn’t it seem like poor strategy on the part of Palin to get into a slap-fight with Letterman? It can’t end well for her – she can’t match his writers. And if she wants to be a national-stature candidate, she shouldn’t be engaging on this level.
I would think a sorrowfully worded response of “not dignifying it with a response” might be a better option, and let the whole thing die. But no, she’s so hungry for face-time that she’s letting it go several news cycles.
Not Looch who is never to return said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:26
“Oh, and try “Galt’s Gulch” No-Salt Food Flavorer – made with 100% all-natural sodium chloride, with just a hint of lipids! Put it on everything!”
Now in the convenient family size for anytime snacking!
http://www.healthcareminerals.com/images/upload/69.JPG
laym said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:29
Curse you, g. But I already typed it, so I’m a posting it:
These five women are are [sic!] not the only ones that American liberals ridicule without fear. They are like little boys who cannot handle a strong woman. These women dare challenge them intellectually, and so we get crude counterattacks.
“[...] ridicule without fear [...] like little boys who cannot handle [...]”
Urm – which is it? Without fear, or with fear, like little boys?
” [...] challenge them intellectually [...]”
And, one of his examples is a beauty pagaent winner, now deposed. Intellectual!
Not Looch who is never to return said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:30
“Oh, and try “Galt’s Gulch” No-Salt Food Flavorer – made with 100% all-natural sodium chloride, with just a hint of lipids! Put it on everything!”
Now in the convenient family size for all-day snacking!
http://www.healthcareminerals.com/images/upload/69.JPG
Matt T. said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:36
Carrie Prejean
That’s the Miss California girl, right? That’s your intimidating conservative intellectual? Oh, come on! That’s not even trying.
Knights in White Satin said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:36
“…that photoshopped sub. It has vegetables in it -”
Hence the look of sheer horror on Doughy’s face. Or else it’s gas (the expression not the sammich)
alec said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:40
Liberal doesn’t mean the same as it used to.
That’s central to my point, a whoop-a-doo-doo.
Hitler liked vegetables and exercise too
We’re rubber and you are glue.
A boodle-boo-yah.
Letterman and Leno are both pretty reliably right-wing (the former more paleoconnish and the latter more zeitgeisty), so Republicans pissing them off usually involves something particularly bad.
Of course, in Letterman’s case, it’s usually something to do with his show; the thing where McCain stood him up for political theatre and then went to do an interview elsewhere was infuriating, and he’ll probably never forgive Bush for wiping his nose on one of Letterman’s interns.
Just wait for Rush Limbaugh, who compared Chelsea Clinton at age 12 to a dog (you know, because 12-year-old girls are normally irresistible sex objects), to get all indignant about this radical pederasty.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:40
No longer is she the Miss California girl. She was fired for not being good enough at it.
Not Looch who is never to return said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:42
Yep, that Carrie Prejean. Trying is hard.
Smut Clyde said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:49
She was fired for not being good enough at it.
There are performance tests for Californialising?
alec said,
June 11, 2009 at 21:53
Yeah, little miss Opposite Marriage is a strong intellectual conservative. Jesus fuck, soft bigotry of low expectations much?
tigrismus said,
June 11, 2009 at 22:00
That’s the salad course sammich. The gravy-soaked main course meat load comes next, then the dessert sammich, in which two cakes are filled with fried pies, then the whole thing is batter-dipped and deep fried in lard.
Loneoak said,
June 11, 2009 at 22:07
Interestingly enough, rape is also what Jonah does to a bag of Funyuns.
Proposed script for episode of CSI: Wingnut, episode titled “Funyun or Fun-none?”
Detective Gilchrist: My Cthulu, what happened to that bag of onion-flavored snacks!?
Detective Smut: It’s been ravaged almost beyond recognition. We need to get some forensics experts in here.
Detective Aristophanes: Look over here. There’s a trail of sammich toppings and cheeto dust leading from the crime scene.
Smut: Oh shit.
Gilchrist: What is it, Smut?
Smut: I’ve seen this before. Back in ’02, when I was working a case on K Street. We had been called into a Wingnut Welfare think tank and there was snack food carnage all over the place. The vending machines had been emptied … there was high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated fats, creamy filling every where … just ghastly.
Aristophanes: What ever came of it? Did you get a perp?
Smut: There was one major clue that makes me think it’s the same monster who did this: the cheeto dust and sammich toppings.
Gilchrist: No … it’s not … it couldn’t be. I thought he had collapsed under the weight of his own jowly idiocy.
Aristophanes: What?! Who is it?
Smut: The Doughy Pantload.
Aristophanes: Bullshit. I heard he was in Tiajuana, shacked up with that Lopez woman who calls herself ‘The Editor’. You know, the one who had to flee the wrath of all the English teacher cabal for her terrible grammar and spelling skills.
Smut: The don’t have Funyuns in Mexico, D.
Aristophanes: Christ, you’re right. He must have come back for them, to get his fix.
Gilchrist: Alec, get on the radio! Now! Put out an APB on Goldberg, Jonah, aka Doughy Pantload. 5’10″, 350 lbs. Dangerously insipid. His dick will smell of onions and his fingers of cheese dust.
N.C. said,
June 11, 2009 at 22:29
Hey guys.
There are vegetables on that sandwich.
SomeNYGuy said,
June 11, 2009 at 22:30
Poor Carrie. At least she only has to give back the title and the crown, not the implants.
This just demonstrates the foolishness of Prejean thinking in a Postjean world.
Steerpike said,
June 11, 2009 at 22:40
This just demonstrates the foolishness of Prejean thinking in a Postjean world.
NY Guy wins the internets with that one, I think you’ll all agree
El Cid said,
June 11, 2009 at 22:43
A thing of terrible beauty.
Tommmcatt said,
June 11, 2009 at 22:47
That’s the salad course sammich. The gravy-soaked main course meat load comes next, then the dessert sammich, in which two cakes are filled with fried pies, then the whole thing is batter-dipped and deep fried in lard.
You forgot the ranch dressing, applied liberally to each course, and guzzled as a palate cleanser between them.
SomeNYGuy said,
June 11, 2009 at 22:47
Full disclosure: I’m recycling my own material, originally posted here re: Burt Prelutsky. But thanks.
Cowalker said,
June 11, 2009 at 22:49
at 19:04 Till said,
Why yes, on conservative blogs “date rape” will be called “silently requested sexual intercourse.”
“I was so dumb. I didn’t realize until too late what my dress was communicating to my date–it communicated more loudly than my shouts of “No, get off me!” He held me down and carried out silently requested sexual intercourse and that’s no crime.”
Pere Ubu said,
June 11, 2009 at 22:50
Don’t forget you can buy your “Galt’s Veggies” pre-fried for your convience! Or our associate C.Y. will stop by your own home and fry them in front of you in his 100 gallon FLESH-O-MATIC deep fryer, powered by the splitting of the atom itself! And all “Galt’s” products are fried in 100% animal fat, rendered in the Old-World tradition handed down for generations. And certified 99.9% cadaver-free!
That’s “Galt’s Veggies” – ’cause you’re at the top of the food chain!
Emily Litella said,
June 11, 2009 at 22:51
What’s all this fuss about keeping the wiggers in Guantanamo? Just because a young person likes the hippity hop music, that no reason to put them in prison.
Steerpike said,
June 11, 2009 at 22:51
You forgot the ranch dressing, applied liberally to each course, and guzzled as a palate cleanser between them.
“Ranch”? that’s for wussie amateurs. Real men use Miracle Whip, the original kind, not that namby-pamby “lite” crap. Or better yet, real mayonnaise. The kind that comes with its own defibrillator. That makes the vegetables edible, and the vegetarians cry.
Oh, yeah. That’s the stuff
Matt T. said,
June 11, 2009 at 23:03
Poor Carrie. At least she only has to give back the title and the crown, not the implants.
I wonder when one of the multitude of disposable wingnut celebrities of the moment – like NotJoe the NotPlumber and poor dumbass redneck Levi – will realize when s/he’s getting the ol’ heave-ho like a week-old, unwashed gym sock, and instead of hitting the wingnut version of livestock fair circuit, tell ‘em to fuck off? Or am I asking for too much dignity or self-awareness from right-wing do-monkeys? Also, is there anyone on the left that gets used and abused like this?
Cindy Sheehan said,
June 11, 2009 at 23:11
Also, is there anyone on the left that gets used and abused like this?
No one I can think of.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 11, 2009 at 23:11
Women in Afghanistan.
Smut Clyde said,
June 11, 2009 at 23:21
Are them real books back in the shelf? Or them fakey book-like objects to fill otherwise vacant shelves?
I recognise that binding.
Lawnguylander said,
June 11, 2009 at 23:35
“MOM! WHO HITLERIZED MAH SANGWICH*!?!?”
*Has vegetables on it.
Lesley said,
June 12, 2009 at 1:01
What Lawnguylander said.
No wonder Jonah looks shocked and awed.
Lesley said,
June 12, 2009 at 1:04
A Jonah sub should look like this only with more meat and less wheat, which, when you think of it, is a plant and therefore potentially Hitleristic.
Mo's Bike Shop said,
June 12, 2009 at 1:33
Actually, Mr. Hilter said it back in 72.
I believe I’ve just Bodwined this thread.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
June 12, 2009 at 1:43
*Has vegetables on it.
That sammich doesn’t look like it has much besides vegetables.
A couple slices of cheese and some lunch meat huddling together in mortal terror like the remnants of the 7th Cavalry at the Battle of Little Big Horn.
Righteous Bubba said,
June 12, 2009 at 1:55
Fox has some emails from the intellectual Prejean.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,525726,00.html
Matt T. said,
June 12, 2009 at 2:54
Thing is, Cindy Sheehan wasn’t completely wrong and, in addition to being not being wrong, she wasn’t oblivious to how big a joke she was (which she wasn’t). I honestly don’t think you can compare her to NotJoe the NotPlumber who was pissed rich people who weren’t him might have to pay higher taxes. If anyone should be given as much room to protest a war it’s a parent who’s had to bury a child because of it.
Old Man Muffaroo [née Kip W] said,
June 12, 2009 at 14:57
I was going to guess that the bindings were a 1957 edition of “Children’s Treasury of Things to Make and Do,” but I’ve been scooped. (shakes tiny fist)
I still think Jonah made a mistake not using the Reader’s Digest Condensed Books, because each volume is really like the good parts of six or seven important tomes and confer immediate credibility on pundits and televangelists alike. They’re a regular thoughty shelfload, and at around ten cents each, economical enough to permit the purchase of additional piehole fodder.