5
Satire once again falls dead with an arrow through her head.
From The Corner:
WOW! [JPod]
Go, K-Lo, with the photoblogging! Now let’s get some Star Trek pictures up in da house!
Posted at 02:30 PM
It is a privilege to present the following excerpt from Very, Very Happy‘s classic post, The Corner Unleashed:
Goldberg: Who do you think? I kicked it down the chain to Robinson. I’m a busy man. I got things to do. Know’um’sayin’?
Dreher: Word up!
[laughter]
Goldberg: Um…’Word up’ does mean ‘I agree’, right?
Dreher: Yeah, I think so. Doesn’t it?
Goldberg: I could have sworn that it did.
Dreher: Shit. Maybe we should ask someone? I mean, messing up something that basic would conflict with our trendy image as the cool young kids of conservatism, wouldn’t it?
Goldberg: Yeah, seriously. Shit, you got the clicker? Flip over to BET. They talk like that all the time there! I bet we can decipher the meaning from context clues.
Dreher: Good idea!
[silence, TV noises]
Goldberg: Shizzle my what?
Dreher: Dude, black people confuse the shit out of me.
Goldberg: This isn’t even English!
Dreher: Screw this. I can’t even spell half these peoples’ names.
Goldberg: Seriously. Find some news, would you?
Dreher: On it.
[pause]
Dreher: Look, see? There’s a black person I can understand. Thank God for Lester Holt.
Goldberg: Lester Holt speaks so well, doesn’t he? Damn, I wish he was on Fox.
Dreher: Yeah…we need more blacks on Fox. We can’t leave it all up to…up to…say, what’s the name of that black anchor on Fox?
Goldberg: Oh, you mean the black guy?
Dreher: Yeah! Him!
Goldberg: Um…dammit, it’s right on the tip of my tongue.
Dreher: Something with an ‘S’…
Goldberg: Sam…Steve…Sm- Smith! That’s it – oh, dammit, I was thinking of Shepard Smith.
Dreher: Fuck! That’s who I was thinking of too. Why do you suppose that is?
Goldberg: Well, he is pretty tan – even in winter! Do you suppose he’s half black?
Dreher: No, I think he hits the tanning beds too much.
Goldberg: Hmm…maybe. I’ll write a Corner post later, see if anyone knows if Shepard is part black. I’ll say it’s for an article or something.
Dreher: Good idea. Hey! There’s Willie the Intern! Hey, Willie the Intern, come here!
Willie: Whatup, guys.
Goldberg: ‘Whatup’! Perfect! So, Willie the Intern, here’s your first journalistic task of the day…
Willie: Okay, seriously Goldberg -
Goldberg: Mr. Goldberg.
Willie: [pause] Mr. Goldberg. My name is Willie. Just Willie.
Goldberg: Whatever, Willie the Intern. Anyway, check this out. If someone said ‘word up’ to you, what would you think it meant?
Willie: ‘Word up’? No one says that anymore, except maybe middle-age white guys trying to be cool.
[silence]
Willie: What? What’d I say?
Dreher: Go take these donuts to my office.
chb said,
January 5, 2006 at 22:32
america gets its jitter on – chb
http://cardcarryingmember.blogspot.com/2006/01/quaking-america.html
michael farris said,
January 5, 2006 at 22:33
Those denizens of the corner are just so _Cute_! Sometimes I just want to hug them and tell them how brave they are and how it’ll all be okay.
teh l4m3 said,
January 5, 2006 at 23:45
How do you say “dumpy conservatarian chick” in Klingon?
Pinko Punko said,
January 6, 2006 at 1:08
DFL, teh, Dumpy, Frumpy and Lumpy.
JPod said,
January 6, 2006 at 1:08
Me wanna humpy!
Ron Mexico said,
January 6, 2006 at 5:45
Some days, making fun of the Korner Kids is just redundant.
I guess now JPod will regale us with some Riker/Worf slashfic.
The tECHIDNA said,
January 6, 2006 at 5:58
Aw come on…Pantloads ‘o Fun is {{ahem}} up in da hizz-ouse wit dat damn Power Line cliq:
I…HAVE…ARRIVED [Jonah Goldberg]
Minnesota in January! Gotta love it!
Posted at 06:43 PM
Plan your Mall of America visits accordingly.
Fo-shizzle.
In Vino Veritas said,
January 6, 2006 at 17:12
What ever happened to Very Very Happy? The last post is election day 2004.
wombat said,
January 6, 2006 at 17:35
Can anyone tell me why it is that NRO’s posting/comments area looks sooo…….crap?
I mean with all that braintrust you’d think they could come up with a better layout.
Matt T. said,
January 7, 2006 at 5:19
Dude, black people confuse the shit out of me.
It’s funny ’cause it’s true.