8
Condensed Malk
What would happen if someone tried to unravel an entire Michelle Malkin plotline out of one of those demanding, accidentally post-hermeneutic pieces of writing that she’s been doing in the past year?
Because it seems as though the ancient institution of wingnut text analysis, in which the MSM presents a slanted and factually unreliable view of the world that can be corrected through doctrine, has given way in her work to a fringier and more radical mode of wingnut interpretation, a postlapsarian, sinners-in-the-hands-of-an-angry-God thing in which a wholly corrupt, consciously manipulative MSM spins a daily web of deceit in a world gone mad (and vacant of pity), while unintentionally providing clues, to those who can see, of an ideal world-beyond-appearances.
It’s like Augustine’s New Jerusalem in City of God, although not so much in the whole ‘God’ thing or the retreat from worldly affairs, but more like if you could borrow the keys to Augustine’s City and fly it around and land it on people — or actually, come to think of it, what it’s like is some flying-saucer cult or mutual claque of conspiracy enthusiasts that has no awareness of itself as a fringe group, ‘it’ in this case being Malkin and her correspondents.
What would happen would be one of those Long Shorters that, if you ask me, tend to violate the style’s need for allusiveness over detail — except for every now and then, when a Long Shorter manages to hit the cadence of a hysterical person yelling at you. Ah, but will it work again?
Michelle Malkin, weekly Creators Syndicate column:
The U.S. Department of Injustice
- Remember when that nonpartisan voting-integrity group headed by a former Director of Election Day Operations at the Republican National Committee made a video questioning a middle-aged guy from the New Black Panthers who was so-called ‘guarding’ the outside of a Philadelphia polling place against so-called ‘Republicans’ while holding a deadly stick weapon? Oh, oh, as you can imagine, the hypothetical harassment and bullying of poll workers and voters didn’t just end with the disappearance of all the official reports reportedly made by Republican victims of this man and/or conservative former civil-rights attorneys who happened upon the scene even before the FOX News van randomly pulled up, nor did it just vanish with the default judgment secured against him last month by the Department of Justice — oh no, it only intensifies now with the shocking announcement that default judgments will not be pursued against an unarmed Democratic poll watcher there, and another guy who wasn’t even there, pointing just as we suspected to a massive official coverup of something by the government, such as for instance another of the many coverups by Attorney Criminal Holder, like oh, just for example, how about the massive, nationwide November 4, 2008 deployment of New Black Panthers to America’s election sites, announced via opposite-code as a plot to ‘protect’ black voters from ‘white intimidation,’ and subsequently erased from the…
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Scott said,
June 8, 2009 at 10:28
Needs more hooting.
Megann McAlthouse said,
June 8, 2009 at 10:39
Malkin as Thomas Pynchon novel. Like it.
ice weasel said,
June 8, 2009 at 11:33
Seriously, sometimes that malkin shit will just make you as crazy as they are. It’s preaching to the converted.
Till said,
June 8, 2009 at 12:00
Want.
tensor said,
June 8, 2009 at 12:21
a slanted and factually unreliable view of the world that can be corrected through doctrine,
Well, Malkin’s ancestry is Filipina, and most Filipinas are Catholic, so this would seem to be right on the mark…
lobbey said,
June 8, 2009 at 12:42
Malkin as Thomas Pynchon novel. Like it.
not quite, there is no mysterious, secret mason like organisation behind the whole thing, unless you count the MSM?
Bill E Pilgrim said,
June 8, 2009 at 12:53
Malkin talks about all of this being done in pursuit of “the permament Democratic majority”– wait, who called for that?
I know people have openly hoped for a permanent Republican irrelevancy, but everyone I’ve read also mentions needing a good, healthy, not-insane opposing party, many have speculated that maybe one would arise from conservative Democrats, or even the Green Party from the other direction.
It’s another example of how they really do just project like crazy. It’s Karl Rove’s dictum “Attack their strengths” turned into “attack them for your own weaknesses”. And hope that no one notices.
Stephen said,
June 8, 2009 at 12:56
or even the Green Party from the other direction.
I do hope that, once the Republicans implode, the new opposition party with actually be some fringe far-left group, just so Americans in general will finally realize how not-that-liberal the Democrats actually are.
Looch said,
June 8, 2009 at 13:27
Shorter Michelle Malkin: “I am TOO a grown-up!.”
Ted the Slacker said,
June 8, 2009 at 13:39
What would happen if someone tried to unravel an entire Michelle Malkin plotline…
I dunno, I’m not a doctor.
But unpicking Ed Whelan’s latest desparate effort to not get himself kicked off wingnut welfare, there’s another target-rich environment. Shorter Whelan:
Law perfessors iz different, so SHUT UP! Just shut up about the rulz of the intertoobz!!!
Smut Clyde said,
June 8, 2009 at 13:46
It’s more your classic Gnosticism, innit? Straight from the Nag Harridan library.
a wholly corrupt, consciously manipulative
MSMdemiurge Yaldabaoth spins a daily web of deceit in a world gone mad (and vacant of pity), while unintentionally providing clues, to those who can see, of an ideal world-beyond-appearances.Arky Schadenfreude said,
June 8, 2009 at 13:56
Best post title. Evar.
Bill E Pilgrim said,
June 8, 2009 at 13:58
But unpicking Ed Whelan’s latest desparate effort to not get himself kicked off wingnut welfare, there’s another target-rich environment.
I love how he says “I was going to ignore him until I found out that he was a law professor”.
Yes, I was completely ignoring the whole thing until I engaged in all of the prviate investigative work it took to ferret out who he was, including a series of investigative e-mails in which I called him an “idiot” which are now all published on his blog.
Yes, your honor, our investigators were just idly going through the defendant’s unopened mail trying to ignore him when we came across this incriminating evidence!
Pere Ubu said,
June 8, 2009 at 14:11
I once had a deadly stick weapon confiscated from me by campus security.
Of course this was on top of the hideous crime of collecting cans out of the trash to cash in for the 5 cent deposit, so you could hardly blame them.
MzNicky said,
June 8, 2009 at 14:13
“But if the supposed ethics of the Internet treat a blogger’s smears and misrepresentations as par for the course yet condemn someone who accurately identifies a blogger who is using the cover of a pseudonym to engage in those smears and misrepresentations, then I don’t accept those rules.“
So see? Ed Whelan is so awesome he doesn’t PLAY BY THE RULES! Rules schmules bitchesss!!
"Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut" said,
June 8, 2009 at 14:13
“On top of all that, Holder recently politicized the legal review process involving the contentious issue of D.C. voting rights.
Voice of One-Armed Man from Arrested Development: “And that is why you never politicize a perfectly good justice department.”
Goober Peas said,
June 8, 2009 at 14:19
What? What? I so admire your bravery in facing this dreck. I can’t make heads or tails of any of the wing nut writing style. Does Rosetta Stone have a course in Wing-nuttish?
"Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut" said,
June 8, 2009 at 14:29
Our Lady of the Purple Heart Band-Aid writes this: “Lady Justice is now protected by a security force armed with billy clubs and lawyers who serve the cause of protecting the re-election of Barack Obama over the rule of law.”
And all I’m thinking this: “Damn, Taco Bell was good back in the day, before they got big and got bought out by the megacorps. What I’d give right now for two tacos and a spicy bean burrito from like 1976.”
Ted the Slacker said,
June 8, 2009 at 14:37
I love how he says “I was going to ignore him until I found out that he was a law professor”.
Indeedy. His choice of words in point 1 is bullshit-on-stilts legal sophistry.
Oh look, now Doughy has chimed in.
Shorter Dough: I really have no fucking clue. Liberals are basically jerks, this is central to my point, so yeah, assholes and double-standards. And privileges. Also. Yum, a tasty breakfast booger! Thanks, Ed!
"Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut" said,
June 8, 2009 at 14:40
“Holder, who supports D.C. voting rights along with President Obama, overrode his staff lawyers’ ruling—and simply ordered up an alternative opinion that fit the White House agenda.”
Aw heck, go ahead and throw in a bean to-STA-da and an en-cha-REE-to.
Bill E Pilgrim said,
June 8, 2009 at 14:52
Oh look, now Doughy has chimed in.
And what a PL it was, good grief.
“I must admit I’m torn about this, [ wingnut talking point ] [ wingnut talking point ] [ liberals are really awful ] [ wingnut talking point ] so you can see my problem.”
Uhm, yes but we already could.
Ken Lowery said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:01
I never fail to be amused when the party of Bush vs. Gore gets upset about vague, amorphous plots to steal elections.
El Cid said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:02
Note that Malkin is complaining about the fact that AG Holder dismissed these summary judgment charges but doesn’t seem to be complaining about all the times Holder has dropped charges against Republicans for prosecutorial misconduct, including that of Ted Stevens. But not in the joke Karl Rove playbook case against ex-governor of Alabama Don Siegelman.
No, no, it’s all a conspiracy about the New Black Panther Party and ACORN and garbledy-flop and flurgebang-goobuh.
These pieces of shit can’t even show the slightest consistency in terms of how they do and don’t condemn AG Holder for dropping charges when he concludes that prosecutors have broken the rules.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:04
Best post title. Evar.
I agree. It inspires an idea, leading to not referring to that deranged woman as Stalkin’ Malkin’ but instead as Spoiled Malk.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:07
I never fail to be amused when the party of Bush vs. Gore gets upset about vague, amorphous plots to steal elections.
The ‘pigs are the party of “I’m going to take my ball and go home”, even when they don’t own the ball.
El Cid said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:16
By the way, don’t be fooled. What the columnisk is really all het up about, this is what has the Malkinites really angry.
Now, again, here Republicans demand JUSTICE in being able to bar from voting people who are actually eligible to vote. Anything less is just unfair, say the esteemed voting authorities of the State of Georgia.
THAT is what they’re furious about, that my redneck asshole right wing shit authorities here in the State of Georgia can’t come up with a bullshit voter discrimination system that does exactly what the Republican Party of the Dixie Confederate Baptist Uprising wants — you know, which “accidentally” oooops, ha ha, um, knocks off the voter rolls people who are ENTIRELY LEGALLY ELIGIBLE TO VOTE BUT WHO ARE POSSIBLY VOTING WHILE POSSESSING A NEGRO OR SPIC NAME.
This is what the pieces of shit like Anchor Baby Malkin want their idiot followers to get all angry and dejected about.
So the piece of shit Republican authorities from the mighty, majestic, always famed State government of the State of Joh-Jah came up with a shitty system to try to knock more black and latino voters off the roles and the damn interventionist Fedrul Gubmit practices of Northern Aggression.
Think I’m making it up? Here is Joh-Jah Secretary of Redneck Defiance Handel’s spokesperson (same AJC article):
Yeah. Good.
Yeah, we Joh-Jah aw-thori-tays have come up wif our own majik methid of qualifitatin’ votuhs, and it’s great, and we can’t help that it knocks a bunch of, ha, ha, ‘qualified’ nigras and brownies off the voter rolls, but we can’t tell you our secret patented redneck science methods we all is a usin’.
Just a set of nasty, disgusting, putrid piles of shit, doing nothing but the most vile spewing they can about how oppressed they are because their awful Krazy Konservative Kounsel approaches to cleanificating the voter lists gets knocked down by those damn’ed Yankee inta-lohpers.
God I hate ‘em.
El Cid said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:20
Ooops. Here is the link to the article from which I quoted from the Atlanta Journal Constitution, a newspaper which routinely proves to be insufficiently committed to the true Southern style of the Republican Party of the Dixie Confederate Baptist Uprising, probably because “Atlanta” has all them black people and city dwellers what depart from the true and best nature of Joh-Jah.
LittlePig said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:22
I like how the less likely, the more dilute if you will, a given possibility is, the more powerfully that proves the conspiracy.
We have entered the days of homeopathic Malkin.
creature said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:34
Just when I thought the depth of the stupid level could get no lower, the bottom drops out. This is so entertaining, I’m giddy with laughter. It’s a veritable free-fall of ludicrosity. I’m just waiting for that abrupt stop when it bottoms out.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:36
If Republicans can’t steal elections, it’s NO FAIR!
Alkali Bill said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:42
Excellent rant there, Cid
El Cid said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:43
Thanks, it’s the pure hatred and gob-smacked disgust that helps.
D.N. Nation said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:49
El Cid-
The A-Jizzle might not be totally committed, yes, but it’s getting that way- witness the ideaological shift from the editorial pages post-redesign. They’ve even given Tom Sowell a weekly spot. Horrifying.
I happily await the wingnut headsplosions on 750 AM/640 AM when Roy Barnes returns to the Gold Dome.
J— said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:49
Oh look, now Doughy has chimed in.
Where the hell are Lopez and Lowry? Do the big chief editors stand with Whelan or don’t they? Which side are they on, boys and girls, which side are they on?
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:50
Thanks, it’s the pure hatred and gob-smacked disgust that helps.
In the repigs’ favor, it helps to remember that they are “strict originalists” who remember the 3/5ths rule.
IOW, when the ‘pigs express their disgust for anybody who is not a rich white landowner, they are merely obeying [their interpretation of] the Constitution.
Jacob Singer said,
June 8, 2009 at 15:53
El Cid, as a fellow Georgian, I feel your pain.
Do you ever read The Vent in the AJC? Man, the open hatred, hostility and racism that came out after the election surprised even me, and I’ve long since been inured against these racist scumbags around here.
Keep fightin’ the good fight.
actor212 said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:02
Emanuel Velikovsky himself couldn’t have devised a more elaborate plot hinged on so many nearly-impossible “facts” as to make the entire story intriguing yet ultimately on the level of a fanzine.
El Cid said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:04
I tried on occasion, but the prospect of reading what are essentially the equivalent of your average neighborhood irate moron leaving their political philosophy messages on your phone answering machine just leaves me uninterested.
Ted the Slacker said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:28
…it’s like is some flying-saucer cult or mutual claque of conspiracy enthusiasts that has no awareness of itself as a fringe group, ‘it’ in this case being Malkin and her correspondents.
Today’s exhibit.
The Malk wants her readers to design anti-Obama healthcare plan posters. For inspiration, she offers the gang this.
Lot’s of anti-pinko lolz, inevitably, but notice the Red Crescent at the bottom left. A “mutual claque of conspiracy enthusiasts” sounds pretty generous.
LittlePig said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:29
Emanuel Velikovsky himself couldn’t have devised a more elaborate plot hinged on so many nearly-impossible “facts” as to make the entire story intriguing yet ultimately on the level of a fanzine.
Excellent. “Malkin’s gone full Velikovski today”
“When Psychoses Collide”
mingo said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:33
Just a set of nasty, disgusting, putrid piles of shit, doing nothing but the most vile spewing they can about how oppressed they are because their awful Krazy Konservative Kounsel approaches to cleanificating the voter lists gets knocked down by those damn’ed Yankee inta-lohpers.
God I hate ‘em.
marry me.
El Cid said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:35
The “psychoses” are the Makinites freaking out that the Justice Department is blocking their voter discrimination schemes, and they realize that’s one of the only foreseeable ways that the Republican Party of the Dixie Confederate Baptist Uprising can get back in power.
It’s a key strategy, and they are freaking out now that the DOJ is not willing to either go off in support of their batshit crusades or that it’s willing to stop the League of Southern Asshole States from carrying out their own voter discrimination game.
El Cid said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:36
I’ll meet you at the ‘church’ (pagan demon liberal communist palace) for a really, really bitter ceremony where our vows will entirely comprise the things we hate.
a different mikey said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:38
Sure are a lot of Georgia residents here. Maybe it’s time for a Sadly Georgia party.
mingo said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:38
I’ll meet you at the ‘church’ (pagan demon liberal communist palace) for a really, really bitter ceremony where our vows will entirely comprise the things we hate.
fine with me, so long as there’s some good snacks.
El Cid said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:40
As long as it’s rich and decadent food so that we can simultaneously denounce ourselves for our awful hypocrisy of gluttony, ’cause, you know, that’s what we libs do.
mingo said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:50
As long as it’s rich and decadent food so that we can simultaneously denounce ourselves for our awful hypocrisy of gluttony, ’cause, you know, that’s what we libs do.
ha, sounds like two hearts that beat as one… it’ll be a long ceremony, because I have been hating on these people for at least 30 years, and not until a few years ago did I get the comfort of finding like souls on the blogosphere.
A sort of sentimental journey – I believe it was the big Newt himself who supplied the straw that broke the dam of hatred for me, when he blamed Susan Smith’s killing her children on the liberals! sigh – remember?
El Cid said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:55
I was introduced a bit earlier when my tender, science and science-fiction reading, optimistic self was informed of what Uncle Ronnie was doing in El Salvador and Guatemala and I watched all these people just happily keep the slaughter going and lie about what they were doing and how it was affecting people, and how all the newspapers pretty happily went along with the basic policies and just quibbled around the edges.
Doc Washboard said,
June 8, 2009 at 16:59
I know that this is totally about me and my own mental limitations, but I find myself increasingly unable to keep up with what Gavin’s writing these days.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:05
Shorter Spoiled Malk:
We whine so you don’t have to.
mingo said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:13
I was introduced a bit earlier when my tender, science and science-fiction reading, optimistic self was informed of what Uncle Ronnie was doing in El Salvador and Guatemala and I watched all these people just happily keep the slaughter going and lie about what they were doing and how it was affecting people, and how all the newspapers pretty happily went along with the basic policies and just quibbled around the edges.
oh, yeah – but I think I was still stunned at that point – I could not believe that these things could be happening, and there was no outrage in the media, and the non-stop bellowing of the right-wing drowned out any civil discourse – that I naively thought was supposed to be happening – until newtie’s statement. that’s what brought me out of the disbelieving daze.
PeeJ said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:17
Whelan: Rules only apply when they benefit me
Malkin: Laws only apply when they benefit us
Different day, different blogger, same old shit.
actor212 said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:17
“When Psychoses Collide”
:blinkblink:
Brilliant!
Why didn’t I think of that?
Rusty Shackleford said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:18
Does Rosetta Stone have a course in Wing-nuttish?
He was a hardworking farm boy.
She was an enraged Philipina conspiracy theorist.
He knew he would have just one chance to impress her.
El Cid said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:18
mingo: For all my more-cynical-than-thou history of extreme lefticism, even I was shocked to really, really learn over the previous 8 years that (a) there is a solid portion of the population, about 28%, which will eagerly support and vote for the most medieval royalist fascism and fundamentalist kleptocracy imaginable, and they will not ever, ever deviate from their love, and (b) when there is a strong, hard right wing President in charge that there will in effect be no significant opposition party, no matter what he wants to do or does or what calamity it causes.
Marco said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:19
“But under Barack Obama’s politically corrupted DOJ, Lady Justice is getting the shaft.” – Michelle Malkin
Cue porno music. It’s getting warm in here. Not hatefully warm. Just warm. Steamy.
mingo said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:21
el cid: that 28% became a little more understandable to me a year or so ago, when I read “The Sociopaths Among Us”, wherein she states that as much as a quarter of the population is socipathic. explains a lot.
actor212 said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:22
Does Rosetta Stone have a course in Wing-nuttish?
They only tackle languages that are easy to learn and have logic, like Russian or Mandarin.
You’ll note the lack of Finnish and Wingnut in their catalog.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:27
wherein she states that as much as a quarter of the population is socipathic. explains a lot
You don’t even have to get that extreme, in judging the crazed psyches of Americans. Don’t forget that a big majority believes in a magic sky genie, and that some large minority believes in creationism.
One of the underground comics, maybe Tom Tomorrow, had a comic on this a while ago. He showed a bunch of “normal” American voicing “normal” thoughts, then in the next few panels showed their thought balloons involving UFO*s and other conspiracy theories.
* biggest argument I can see against the traditional view of UFOs is that if they had technology we can only dream of to travel light-years, you’d think they could hide. Even the current day
militarymilitary-industrial welfare complex is close to perfecting stealth-through-bending-light technology.El Cid said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:29
Yeah, but before the last 8 years I would have assumed that the sociopaths would be distributed somewhat around the political spectrum, but, nope, some 28% of us would gladly turn the U.S. from a modern Western society into a Talibangelical undeveloped hellhole.
I was also shocked to (a) learn about the comparatively gigantic proportion of Catholic priests involved in sexual molestation of youths under their charge — like most I figured it happened fairly frequently but not so god-damned often that you could place it among percentages of all priests; and (b) conclude that any Republican figure who loudly talks of heterosexual values etc. is really either secretly gay, not so secretly gay, or dressing up in diapers or wearing multiple wetsuits with dildos or trying to seduce underage boys in Panda outfits or whatever, every single one — whereas before I would have assumed that it was frequent but not 1:1.
mingo said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:29
for a brief humor break,
this is an interesting take on Rosetta.
(pleaspleaseplease let me get the link right)
Shut up, thats who said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:30
Yeah that was fucking awesome, El Cid. I’d like to see an El Cid vs. Malkin Bloggingheads episode. Even without sound it would be fun. The pictures of her that are used here would look as sweet as the Gerber baby in comparison to the ragefully contorted screen caps we’d end up with.
Rusty Shackleford said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:31
The Frazier spoof on the Rosetta ad was priceless. He’s not one of my favorites but that one was spot-on.
mingo said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:32
* biggest argument I can see against the traditional view of UFOs is that if they had technology we can only dream of to travel light-years, you’d think they could hide
I always thought that if a alien civilization was that advanced technologically, they’d have better things to do than pick up the random human here and there, and probe them anally…
mingo said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:34
rusty, you should see
this one , too.
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:35
(pleaspleaseplease let me get the link right)
Obviously the writer was one of those hayseeds from NYC who doesn’t know that the term “Quint Cities” is used by the denizens of said metropolitan complex to include E. Moline, as opposed to the hip hop group-only knowledge (“Quad City DJs”) that inspired such “wittiness”.
But if that used Peoria instead I wouldn’t have cared.
mingo said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:38
I think one of thepoints about sociopaths is that certain cultures are much more friendly to the sociopathic personality. for instance, a strong libertarian/free market oriented culture or group would hve sociopaths showing up within it more obviously, than a culture that placed great value on interpersonal support and community. Not that they wouldn’t be there, they would just be a lot more quiet about it.
St. Jesus of Max said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:39
Linky?
actor212 said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:39
I always thought that if a alien civilization was that advanced technologically, they’d have better things to do than pick up the random human here and there, and probe them anally…
Yea, and Europeans never raped a native…
Till said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:41
Pfft. I met my current Neapolitan (mmm vanilla chocolate strawberry) non-girlfriend who looks like a young Isabella Rosselini without speaking a goddamn word of Italian.
Rosetta Stone is kinda crap, IMO, unless you have massive amounts of time to invest in endless mind-numbing tedium. Pimsleur is pretty good for travelers, but my favorite for starting serious learning is crazy grampa Michel Thomas.
Ted the Slacker said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:42
I always thought that if a alien civilization was that advanced technologically, they’d have better things to do than pick up the random human here and there, and probe them anally…
Erm, wassitcalled… extraordinary rendition and enhanced interrogation… who would be evil and stupid enough to do that?
mingo said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:44
till, that was a humor link, but I would like to get hold of some good language CDs and get them on the mp3, for relieving treadmill tedium. You are recommending Pimsleur?
mingo said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:46
Yea, and Europeans never raped a native…
Erm, wassitcalled… extraordinary rendition and enhanced interrogation… who would be evil and stupid enough to do that?
you guys aren’t suggesting that we (amurkans and yurpeens) are “advanced civilizations are you…?
El Cid said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:49
Oh, gosh, I would just love this, it would be awesome, I could look forward to all sorts of right wing dumbasses shooting out my windows and slashing my tires, because, you know, Georgia conservatives have such a dignified tradition of noble restraint. No thanks. They’re a miserable bunch of assholes and you gain from dealing with them as much as you do from arguing with trolls and debating with Creationists.
Let the Malkinites keep dragging their party down until the Republican Party of the Dixie Confederate Baptist Uprising consists of no more than can fit in a Mississippi trailer park, and then we can watch and see whether or not global warming increases tornadoes’ natural predatory instincts to devour trailer parks.
Jennifer said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:49
* biggest argument I can see against the traditional view of UFOs is that if they had technology we can only dream of to travel light-years, you’d think they could hide. Even the current day military military-industrial welfare complex is close to perfecting stealth-through-bending-light technology.
Oh, I can see a bigger argument: these aliens who have the technology to travel light-years through space somehow haven’t perfected the art of manufacturing synthetic cow and sheep asses, which is why they have to come here, mutilate livestock, and steal their asses.
actor212 said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:51
you guys aren’t suggesting that we (amurkans and yurpeens) are “advanced civilizations are you…?
You know what Arthur C Clarke said. Back then, Europeans were, to be sure. After all, Incans saw the Spaniards as horse-bodied gods.
PeeJ said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:52
Developed by US government. in public domain. Furrin Lingwidch Instoot. I see Finnish but not whingnut so we’re all SOL, I guess.
Amharic
Arabic
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Cantonese
Chinese
Chinyanja
Finnish
French
Fula
German
Greek
Hausa
Hebrew
Hindi
Hungarian
Igbo
Italian
Japanese
Kituba
Korean
Lao
Lingala
Luganda
Moré
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Serbo-Croatian
Shona
Sinhala
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Thai
Turkish
Twi
Vietnamese
Yoruba
Rusty Shackleford said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:52
Rosetta Stone is kinda crap, IMO, unless you have massive amounts of time to invest in endless mind-numbing tedium.
Go on.
Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:56
Sure are a lot of Georgia residents here. Maybe it’s time for a Sadly Georgia party.
Yeah, that reminds me that I need to organize another Boston Sadlyfest. Probably needs to happen before little Studebaker makes his way into the world (I suspect we’ll be ever so slightly busy after that). Ideas for venues/dates anyone?
J— said,
June 8, 2009 at 17:57
I see Finnish but not whingnut so we’re all SOL, I guess.
That’s too bad. On the plus side, I’ve always wanted to learn to speak twee.
Pere Ubu said,
June 8, 2009 at 18:01
Oh, I can see a bigger argument: these aliens who have the technology to travel light-years through space somehow haven’t perfected the art of manufacturing synthetic cow and sheep asses, which is why they have to come here, mutilate livestock, and steal their asses.
Maybe bovine anal orifices are an anagathic only available on Earth, like the spice in Dune.
Or maybe they’re a delicacy.
“Kebniz?”
“What, Orgzyl?”
“Y’know what I could go for right now? A juicy cow’s anus!”
“Hmm, but where to find one this time of night?”
*pause*
*simultaneously* “LET’S GO TO EARTH!!!” *guitar riff*
J— said,
June 8, 2009 at 18:04
Malkin milk, Malkin milk, keep rushing to my head
Malkin milk, Malkin milk, keep rushing to my head
And I have a funny, funny feeling, and I’m talking all out my head
alec said,
June 8, 2009 at 18:10
We tend to treat ‘sociopath’ and ‘psychopath’ as normative statements, but they’re factual and carry no intrinsic moral censure. Sociopathy simply implies a defect in the ability to form gut emotional attachment to other human beings; it takes a perverse and violent complex supporting that sociopathy to get the Gordon Gekko-style sociopath-heroes that the post-Reagan era has been devoted to fluffing and cultivating.
I’ve known plenty of people with some degree of sociopathy, and it doesn’t by itself make their relationships any less meaningful, their interactions with other people any less empathetic, and their comportment towards their fellow man any less humane. Sociopathy alone cannot account for the complete, mind-bending contempt for the very idea of the needs and wants of others that motivates the capitalist superman, the Objectivist, and your modern Republican.
The more horrifying possibility is that they are in fact not sociopaths at all – they are every bit as emotionally affected by the sufferings of others, and are no more detached from their misery, than we are – but gag a healthy conscience in service of Number One.
mako rojo said,
June 8, 2009 at 18:11
You know, one might actually think that the DOJ had just dismissed criminal charges against three defendants, instead of a civil lawsuit against three individuals and which the DOJ has dismissed claims against only two of the defendants. And that’s just the obvious lies you can tell from reading Malkin’s posts alone; I haven’t even looked at the actual facts of the case. You’d think she would make more of an effort on the conspiracy theories that are expected to make it into print.
rorycalhoun said,
June 8, 2009 at 18:15
Facts, as we all know by now, have a liberal bias. Get with the program.
another jim said,
June 8, 2009 at 18:17
Woo. That is some high-class “escort” level crazy.
actor212 said,
June 8, 2009 at 18:18
Wow, that’s one handy link, PeeJ!
My girlfriend’s always shouting “Moré! Moré! Moré!” so how I can learn how to speak to her in that language!
mako rojo said,
June 8, 2009 at 18:23
http://www.usdoj.gov/opa/pr/2009/January/09-crt-014.html “Department seeks an injunction preventing any future deployment of, or display of weapons by, New Black Panther Party members at the entrance to polling locations.” So, um, ZOMG, the injunction is now only against one of the defendants, not three. Clearly a giant conspirazee by the Obamamites!
mako rojo said,
June 8, 2009 at 18:26
http://www.usdoj.gov/opa/pr/2009/January/09-crt-014.html
“Department seeks an injunction preventing any future deployment of, or display of weapons by, New Black Panther Party members at the entrance to polling locations.”
So, um, ZOMG the DOJ has dropped an effort to get an injunction against two of the three defendants. This IS a major conspiracy clearly aimed at a massive voter fraud effort.
Todd said,
June 8, 2009 at 18:32
with vitamin R?
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
June 8, 2009 at 18:51
Republican Party of the Dixie Confederate Baptist Uprising
You give them too much credit with this name. Instead, how about:
Republican Party of the Dixie Confederate Baptist Whining
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
June 8, 2009 at 18:52
“Y’know what I could go for right now? A juicy cow’s anus!”
If it’s good enough for millions of baseball fans, BBQ attendees, and that ad for Chevrolet, it’s good enough for aliens.
Tommmcatt said,
June 8, 2009 at 19:04
pick up the random human here and there, and probe them anally…
That actually sounds like almost every Saturday night I spent in my late twenties.
stogoe said,
June 8, 2009 at 19:12
“Ow, my bones are so brittle. But I always drink plenty of…Malk?!”
Lord Harry said,
June 8, 2009 at 19:22
This country not only needs massive spending cuts, it also needs a Constitutional Amendment to Balance the Budget. Spending on unconstitutional programs has gotten out of control. Most Cabinet Level Departments with the exceptions of the State Department, Defense Department, Justice Department, Treasury Department and Homeland Security Department should be abolished.
In addition many if not most Federal Agencies need to be cut, chief among these are OSHA, the FDA, the BATF, and the IRS just to name a few of these bureaucratic nightmares that for the sake our Republic and our Constitution need to go.
We also need term limits for members of both Houses of Congress. A maximum of two terms for Senators and Congressman would be most sufficient and would insure they remain true to the grassroots and constituients who elected them. And most importantly they would stay true to Our Constitution. In addition the President should also recieve a line item veto to insure that pork or any unrelated programs would not be attatched to a Bill.
These Conservative Reforms would be the most effective way to restore Our Constitutional Republican form of Government of the type which Our Framers intended.
Talk about Change you can Believe in!
jim said,
June 8, 2009 at 19:38
Alternate Condensed Malk:
“Skree skree skree ACORN skree permanent Democratic majority skree skree 9/11 skree skree voter intimidation skree skree Obama hsssssss!”
I hear it’s much more evocative in the original Vogon.
actor212 said,
June 8, 2009 at 19:57
This country not only needs massive spending cuts, it also needs
a Constitutional Amendment to Balance the Budgetan enema to purge it of its rightwing that keeps its bowels impacted.Fixed your post.
ksec said,
June 8, 2009 at 20:13
Hysterical person screaming at you….describes the little ball of puss (or pus) perfectly
Rhodo Zeb said,
June 8, 2009 at 20:39
Gavin:
You are da man. But ‘Long Shorter’??
Let’s run that by marketing, shall we? Ahem.
But you can define it, I know you can.
Stylize a bit, first.
Maybe some kind of sectioning? Intro, body, and (completely incongruous, of course) conclusion.
Define and conquer, yo.
gocart mozart said,
June 8, 2009 at 20:53
Shorter Lord Harry/ Henrietta: Government is only good if it hurts or kills brown or black people disproportionally, fuck any government that might help poor people.
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love said,
June 8, 2009 at 21:23
I always drink plenty of malk.
gocart mozart said,
June 8, 2009 at 21:34
Her teets are nice, I’ll give here that.
actor212 said,
June 8, 2009 at 21:34
I always drink plenty of malk.
For indigestion, I always take Malk of Magalangadingdong.
Not to stop it, to get it.
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
June 8, 2009 at 21:38
You can get a lot of the FSI courses for free here. They don’t have all of them by any means, but they keep adding more.
Of course they all should be in the public domain, being US Government publications, but some of the assholes who worked on them have quit government service, and published slightly altered versions which ARE copyrighted, and the government has gone along with this theft. That’s why there’s no Russian course on this site, in particular. Wankers!
Hoosier X said,
June 8, 2009 at 22:32
There is no way I’m clicking the link to read the original.
Hoosier X said,
June 8, 2009 at 22:39
(Not that I ever do click the links. I work at a conservative newspaper as a copy editor and I read so much Repug gibberish from the likes of Larry Elder, Ann Coulter, Cal Thomas, Diana West, Kathleen Parker, Jonah Goldberg, Bill O’Reilly, Thomas Sowell, Kathryn Lopez – I still can’t get over the fact that K-Lo has a hard-copy syndicated column – and various local whackos who make Pastor Swank look cogent that I just don’t feel it’s necessary to read any more. Even if I haven’t read a particular article, the “shorter” always looks like the summary of something I’ve already read. Not infrequently, “shorters” remind me of our in-house editorials.)
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
June 8, 2009 at 23:06
Sorry, Pee J, I see you linked to the same site I did. My guilty secret is, I very seldom click on links because it takes my slow connection forever to get there. Sorry!
But is that a great site, or what?
actor212 said,
June 8, 2009 at 23:07
Axe,
He linked “.org”, you linked “.com” which was actually more comprehensive.
noen said,
June 8, 2009 at 23:45
From The Vent someone talked about above:
And
I feel for ya.
Sprinkle On The Zesty Goodness said,
June 9, 2009 at 4:17
Seriously, though, this woman is insane. With Coulter there’s at least this kind of staring contest thing — you know she’s only in it for the attention, and she knows it, too, but she’s never, ever going to blink, but you keep watching, because you just know she’s bullshitting and eventually she’s got to crack.
Malkin comes along, however, and she’s the wannabe-Coulter simply because she didn’t have the good fortune to be born an Anglo, and she’s also not possessed of any native wit, so she doesn’t get the staring contest at all. She is laboring under the misapprehension that other screech-monkeys like herself are 100% in earnest. I remember girls in high school like that. They’d laugh at all the kewl kid jokes and sit at the kewl kid table and never figured out they were getting shit-talked behind their backs. Malkin, one of these hapless, infected creatures, is consequently out of her short, bug-eyed tree.