May
31
31
Why Leave The House When There’s Still Food Left?
Shorter (if not smaller) Rick Moran:
Rick Moran, The American “Thinker”
The Most Expensive Date Night In History
- WTF is up with Obama going to a Five Guys hamburger restaurant? What’s wrong with the hamburgers from that fancy-ass kitchen in the White House that we pay bazillions for? And where does he get off eating ground beef when many Americans are being so heavily taxed that all they can afford is mac ‘n cheese from a box? Didn’t he say we all have to tighten our belts? Oh, and another thing, he and Michelle should stay home and watch videos like my wife Zsu Zsu and I do. And no smart remarks, either, from any of you that this is the reason why Zsu Zsu* and I have three cats instead of any kids.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Bonus weekend entertainment! Which one in this picture is Zsu Zsu?
g said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:18
Top ramen is good enough for me and should be good enough for a state dinner.
Woodrowfan said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:19
I’m guessing the really unhappy one in the back row (5th from left) or Miss Pink Pantsuit.
Till said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:21
Rick Moran sees British MP expenses scandal, wonders why we aren’t enraged about something similarly pointless.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:26
Zsu Zsu is the one who is most flagrantly violating the gestalt color scheme.
Nosfer-Blart-Two said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:28
holy moly! Could Moran even fit in a Broadway theatre seat???
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:28
Translated from the Huttese, I presume.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:29
Heck, why leave the chair when there’s still food left.
Nosfer-Blart-Two said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:30
Moran goes to a NYC classy restaurant. He points at the right hand side of the menu and says “I’ll have that.”
N.C. said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:31
Now I’m in the mood for Five Guys.
Damn you, Barry Soetero Nobama Shabazz Jr., with your mind-control food craving rays!!!
Major Kong said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:33
It’s Mr. Creosote from Meaning of Life!
luminous beauty said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:36
Front row right. Plaid shirt.
Lay down your bets, gentlemen.
N.C. said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:36
It’s Mr. Creosote from Meaning of Life!
That’s not nice. Mr. Creosote had the courtesy not to show up in public wearing a T-shirt tucked into his jean shorts.
Prudence Goodwife said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:41
http://www.kersplebedeb.com/mystuff/katrina/deniz_02_09_2005.html
Now that’s how you deal with a crisis.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:43
“Front row right. Plaid shirt.”
No, that’s Mr. Zsu Zsu in the plaid. The betting is on which one is Mrs. Shit-Zsu.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:44
And my bad, Moran is in the dark plaid, 2nd row right end.
Prudence Goodwife said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:44
http://www.kersplebedeb.com/mystuff/katrina/deniz_02_09_2005.html
That’s how you deal with a crisis.
Doesn’t Mrs. Morans worry that hubby will mistake her for a giant Snowball?
Johnny Coelacanth said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:45
Why don’t I just fuck off, then?
Johnny Coelacanth said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:47
“That’s how you deal with a crisis.”
Notice that it’s Condoleeza Rice on vacay here; also notice how Rice and Obama share a certain skin condition? Coincidence? I think not.
Pez said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:49
Pink pantsuit. Is it odd that she’s way over there while her husband is surrounded by dudes?
PeeJ said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:49
The thing is, and I mean this with all sincerity, Five Guys burgers suck. Don’t see the point at all.
mmy said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:50
Translated from the Huttese, I presume
Bo shuda!
Johnny Coelacanth said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:51
OT via Atrios, it’s still OK to shoot doctors in America. God bless the right’s absolute respect for life.
PeeJ said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:51
Also, it’s a trick question. Mrs. Zoozoo in the picture only by virtue of being in the painting hanging on the wall. She’s the one washed up on the beach.
OneMan said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:54
Yep, she’s gotta be the Energizer Bunny over there on the left. If she’s grown at the rate The Main Moran has, they must have to keep their mattresses on the floor because no bedframe could hold the two of them.
And now, with the image of them in bed together fresh in my mind, I must go seek brain bleach.
ChenZhen said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:59
My fauxtography detector is broke, so I have to ask…
Is the top pic with Rick real or faked?
I Cried My Heart Out For Want Of My Love said,
May 31, 2009 at 19:01
He seriously is the dead spit of Jabba in that picture.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 31, 2009 at 19:08
PeeJ said,
May 31, 2009 at 18:49
The thing is, and I mean this with all sincerity, Five Guys burgers suck. Don’t see the point at all.
Maybe you’re not using the right mustard?
LD said,
May 31, 2009 at 19:35
I’m guessing Mr. Moran is just jealous because he can’t get Five Guys.
Or is the “Five Guys” in question some restaurant we non americans don’t know about?
Julia Grey said,
May 31, 2009 at 19:36
I’m guessing the really unhappy one in the back row (5th from left) or Miss Pink Pantsuit.
It’s not a pantsuit. It’s a too-tight turtlneck shirt and pink corduroy jeans. First lesson of Dressing Large: Never all one color, especially not if it’s light or bright. Second lesson: no turtlenecks, or if you do, wear a necklace or scarf to break up the breakfront. Third lesson: don’t wear thin knit shirts, especially not so tight they outline your muffin tops.
Oh, and don’t wear pants with waistbands so tight they make muffin tops. And no corduroy…what, you’re not fluffy enough?
Lessons: I got a million of em.
John D. said,
May 31, 2009 at 19:41
Holy shit, Moron is a fat one, isn’t he? He looks like a Halloween Jack ‘O Lantern that’s somehow been attached to an escaped weather balloon.
Woodrowfan said,
May 31, 2009 at 20:01
The thing is, and I mean this with all sincerity, Five Guys burgers suck. Don’t see the point at all.
this MUST be a troll. No one with tastebuds can hate Five Guys. Unless you’re PETA…
Davis said,
May 31, 2009 at 20:02
And I thought Big Pink was a just house in upstate NY!
Woodrowfan said,
May 31, 2009 at 20:03
well, judging from the photos Moran goes with the old adage, “Kissing gets old, cooking don’t.” it’s not true of course, but he looks like Mrs. Moran is a great cook…
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 31, 2009 at 20:18
Weren’t they just finishing up bitching about them eating at the White House?
tigrismus said,
May 31, 2009 at 20:20
he looks like Mrs. Moran is a great cook…
I dunno, I think he looks like he sucks lemons all day long. Maybe she deep fries them for him…
sarah said,
May 31, 2009 at 20:35
ga ME ga.
Woodrowfan said,
May 31, 2009 at 20:45
I dunno, I think he looks like he sucks lemons all day long. Maybe she deep fries them for him…
Shaker Lemon pie is yummy!
Lando's Son, Jr. said,
May 31, 2009 at 20:51
More Huttese!!
“Barack…Barack, ma bookie!”
Lesley said,
May 31, 2009 at 21:44
Question I submitted for posting over at American Thinkless that will likely never see the light of day.
Why can’t Obami spend his first year on vacation like Bush did? Is he too good to be lazy or somethin?
PopeRatzo said,
May 31, 2009 at 21:47
As always, thanks for the photos.
I wonder why his sister Terry doesn’t come to the family reunions?
I think I understand.
Grace Nearing said,
May 31, 2009 at 21:54
holy moly! Could Moran even fit in a Broadway theatre seat???
No.
Jon H said,
May 31, 2009 at 21:56
Wait, this freeptard is related to a guy who managed to get a job on TV hosting Nightline?
Lesley said,
May 31, 2009 at 22:15
Rick Moran doesn’t look healthy
exhibit a – alt tag reads Rick-publicity-upright-denim (-enhanced and what’s that in his hand? a Rick-sized spoon?)
exhibit b
exhibit c – the blurriness is due to the camera trying to flee the scene
Brandi said,
May 31, 2009 at 22:51
In the third picture he looks oddly like a fatter Lewis Black.
Chris Vosburg said,
May 31, 2009 at 23:31
Yep, Big Pink for sure…
Shell Goddamnit said,
June 1, 2009 at 0:22
To be fair, the woman is an “apple” with a bulgy neck – it’s hard to say what she SHOULD be wearing on top. Pale pink from top to tail is, however, just about the worst choice in the world.
Tim O said,
June 1, 2009 at 0:32
“IGHTWING NUTHOUSE is a conservative blog by Rick Moran, a 52 year old libertine from Algonquin, IL.”
I surprised no one caught this. I copied that headline directly. It didn’t have the “R” in front of “Rightwing” and he calls himself a “libertine”
Definition: A libertine is one devoid of any restraints, especially one who ignores or even spurns accepted morals, and forms of behaviour sanctioned by the larger society.
So Rick is like a modern day Marquis de Sade? Hey Zsu-Zsu Rawrrr! WinkWinkNudge Nudge know what I mean? Ay? ay?
Tim O said,
June 1, 2009 at 0:35
I guess cats can be on the bed with you during sex, kids can’t.
Wink, Wink! Ay, Ay?
Marquis de Algonquin!
justme said,
June 1, 2009 at 0:44
Yes, because one personal trip up the coast to New York in the first four months of office is infinitely worse than jaunting halfway across the country to Crawford for a week’s vacation every month.
Dear Moran, fuck so right off.
justme said,
June 1, 2009 at 0:46
I can’t tell from the picture, but I’d lay 30:1 odds that she’s wearing pink crocs as well.
The odds are also the only thing about that whole picture I’d lay.
justme said,
June 1, 2009 at 0:48
ZE GOGGLEZ! ZEY DO NUSIIINNNNNNK!
Arky Schadenfreude said,
June 1, 2009 at 0:56
Alternate Shorter Moran: Every time Baraachmed HUSSEIN Obsama goes outside I am reminded that a colored man is in the White House and I wet my capacious pants.
justme said,
June 1, 2009 at 1:32
Also, “Date Night” implies that the President has consensual sex with his wife, something that likely hasn’t happened in the White House since the execrable Kennedy administration, and certainly shouldn’t happen with negroes. I mean, as great as GWB was, Laura was clearly hopped up on enough klonopin to knock out a beach full of walruses. Clinton was too busy with anything that moved to bother with Hil. GHWB? We can only try to imagine the combination of physical restraints, pharmacology and dick-splints required for Babs to successfully mount him. Reagan forgot where he left his penis sometime in late 1973, and never saw it again. And so on.
Just imagine, negroes having sex in the White House!!! Awful, I tell you. Why, the very idea of his taut, rippling frame laboring over her coffee-colored…
Um, BRB.
djheru said,
June 1, 2009 at 2:26
uh, get a brain?
Henry Holland said,
June 1, 2009 at 5:19
GHWB? We can only try to imagine the combination of physical restraints, pharmacology and dick-splints required for Babs to successfully mount him
Ewwwww. No, really, ewwwwww.
In any case, I bet Jennifer Fitzgerald had more success with Pappy than that execrable Babs ever did.
justme said,
June 1, 2009 at 6:15
I’d bet Millie the Springer Spaniel had better odds of getting wood out of George Sr. than Babs, and really, does anyone blame him?
Michael said,
June 1, 2009 at 13:23
Huh. Jean Teasdale is always complaining about hubby Rick; and she’s a dead ringer for pink-pantsuit. Looks like “Zsu Zsu” is just a pet name.
redoubt said,
June 2, 2009 at 1:02
The thing is, and I mean this with all sincerity, Five Guys burgers suck. Don’t see the point at all.
this MUST be a troll. No one with tastebuds can hate Five Guys. Unless you’re PETA…
Seconding this, and I go for the fries too. We even have them in Atlanta, for crying out loud. . .
ben said,
June 2, 2009 at 6:03
Five guys burgers are pretty good. You just have to get the ‘little’ burger and have them put lotsa crap on it. Because in P.G. county everything is crap, they cook the crap out of everything, so you have to fight crap with crap.