The Mascara Massacre: How Drag Queens Are Killing Our Troops

kristia_cavere2

ABOVE (left to right) Kristal, Kristeen, and Kristia


Meet Kristia Cavere, a new recruit at Renew America, who looks like she might give M’a’r’i’e’ J’o’n” a run for her money until you discover that she is not quite as hot as the ancient headshot she uses on her column suggests. But even if Kristia is decades older than M’a’r’i’e’ J’o’n” and not quite as as abundant with apostrophes, she’s every bit as lunatic as M’a’r’i’e’.

In Kristia’s second column ever for Renew America, she has uncovered a horrifying scandal in Baghdad, which she sees as the biggest breach of foreign protocol since Michelle Obama actually touched the Queen of England and since Obama bowed to the Saudi King. (Apparently, the correct foreign protocol with the Saudi King is to forcefully squeeze his left nut until he screams “Leggo my eggo, you damn fool!”)

In the short time that President Obama has been in office, there have been many breaches of foreign protocol such as an overt familiarity with the British Queen and bowing to the Saudi King. But the most significant indiscretion will occur tonight as homosexuality is promoted in our embassy in a foreign land — in Baghdad, Iraq, no less.

Oh noes! What has Obama done now? It sounds like he’s ordered the embassy staff to dress up as drag queens and as leather daddies in buttless chaps and then to parade through the streets of central Baghdad while throwing condoms and blowing kisses at all the male onlookers. Not so much. They’re having a gay costume party at the embassy employee association’s pub. Inside the embassy compound.

The Islamic culture does not appreciate or allow public sexual displays to begin with. Now the American embassy is going to display sexuality in a way that will do nothing but offend the host population, needlessly complicating an already sensitive situation.

Apparently the State Department must have invited Al-Jazeera into the embassy compound to televise the goings-on in the pub, particularly teh lip-synchng by teh drag queens and, of course, teh public buttsex, where the employees plan to let out climactic shouts of “Allahu Akbar” rather than the more traditional “Yeah, baby, yeah!”

The question becomes, who is going to suffer? Our embassy officials, or our soldiers on the ground who will endure the increased outrage when events such as this occur?

I think that must be a rhetorical question, don’t you? And I’m guessing that Kristia’s answer is our soldiers on the ground, who will be given the full Westboro Baptist treatment by the local Baghdadis. You know, they’ll be carrying signs saying “Allah Hates Fags” while throwing hand grenades and shit. They’ll, of course, be doing this because they have no other beef with the occupying troops other than the gays in the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad carrying on and having parties and stuff — which is, of course, the very cliff that Kristia was just headed right off:

More offensive than our men in arms in an Islamic country are men in drag, as this strikes at the very core of propriety and decency within their culture.

There may have been stupider things said at Renew America but, if so, I’m hard pressed to think of them.


Brad adds: See, for a little bit I was wondering how these guys could on the one hand support overtly torturing Iraqis without fear of pissing off the Arab world, while on the other hand denouncing teh ghey for offending Islamic culture.

And then it occurred to me: torturing makes Amur’ka look strong in their eyes, while lip-syncing Cher’s greatest hits over a third-rate karaoke machine makes us look weak. In other words, the Arabs will hate us if we torture them, but at least they’ll also fear us. If we act gay, then the Arabs will hate us and think we’re fairies.

 

Comments: 159

 
 
Xecky Gilchrist
 

They can balance it out by torturing a bunch of the locals. That’s always had a pacifying effect on a population, or so I’m told.

 
 

ZOMG TEH GHEYS HAVE INVADED IRAQ!!1!!!11

Alert Rush and O’Reilly!

 
 

You know what else Islamic culture frowns upon? Forcing people to be nude, smearing feces on them, forcing them to make a naked pyramid and then sicking dogs at them. Oh and torture and anal rape. Just saying.

 
 

What about urinating on their Korans? Should we go back to doing that? Maybe they’ll like us.

 
 

I left out invading their country and bombing the shit out of them.

 
 

Two bets:

1) This is a load of hooey.

2) This was a story planted by Renew America.

 
 

which she sees as the biggest breach of foreign protocol since Michelle Obama actually touched the Queen of England and since Obama bowed to the Saudi King.

They should have just given them shoulder rubs, like El Classico Arbusto did. Hell, after eight years of Bush does the concept “foreign protocol gaffe” even have any real meaning?

 
 

Wait, wingnuts are suddenly sensitive to Islamic cultural norms? Oh, right, they’re just sensitive to the ones that jibe with those of fundamentalist Christianity.

 
Harvey Fierstein
 

It’s a Queer Eye for the Islamofascists, bitchez!

[Circle and a SNAP!]

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

Everything was fin in Iraq until an outbreak of teh Ghey prompted disgusted locals to plant roadside bombs all over Baghdad.

 
 

Hell, after eight years of Bush does the concept “foreign protocol gaffe” even have any real meaning?

Don’t be silly, what did Bush ever do…

 
 

Kristia How does one pronounce that?

I would be surpised if “Kristia” is not in fact a total fag-hag numbering among her dearest friends Mark Foley, Mitch McConnell, Larry Craig et cetera et cetera et cetera. She just has that look. Trust me, *I* can spot a fag-hag every time.

 
 

And, y’know, quite apart from anything else: Isn’t it simply adorable the way the wingnuts will occasionally pretend to give a shit about Islamic “culture” (or what they claim is Islamic culture, i.e. as in this case, homophobia) in order to twist that into a weapon with which to bash convenient targets?

Remember when the Ayatollah Khomeni’s death sentence against Salman Rushdie was proclaimed, and some of the usual American right wing propagandists where sympathetic…to Khomeni? (Dat ol commie Rushdie was being intolerant of religion, don’cha know?) That was contemptible enough, but this Kristia Kadaver bitch seems to have sunk to even more of a low. Maybe she should dress in a burka from now on if she’s so God damned worried about offending fundamentalist Islamists…

 
 

It’s good to know the folks at “Renew America Forward for Jesus and Freedom and Eagles ‘n’ Things” aren’t worried about all the killings of Iraqi gays (or Iraqi anybody) just the idea that someone may dress as Rudy Giuliani.

Ass hammers.

 
 

This post brings something to mind….

My google-fu is weak this morning – I can’t find one of my favorite cartoons. Can’t even remember the artist but probably S. Gross. Anyway, coupla AYrabbs with the guy getting fist fucked sez, “It’s just not the same since they cut off your hands, Ahmed.”

 
Socraticsilence
 

Just throwing this out there but I have to think the evangelical prosetilyzation directly to Iraqi’s and Afghani’s is more offensive than a private party within the closed walls of the Embassy compound.

 
 

Is that a tear on her cheek or….?

 
 

That’s no tear–that’s a Money Shot!

 
 

overt familiarity with the British Queen

Makes sense. Since she’s arguing that familiarity with the Queens of Iraq should be covert.

 
 

John D. said,

May 29, 2009 at 19:54

That was contemptible enough, but this Kristia Kadaver bitch seems to have sunk to even more of a low. Maybe she should dress in a burka from now on if she’s so God damned worried about offending fundamentalist Islamists…

Seconded!

 
 

Oh yeah, like this is something new. In fact, if my memory serves, there’s many a WWII war movie with at least one US serviceman dressed in drag at some point. How did we EVER survive?

 
 

Well, that is the wingnut world view in a nutshell. Killing people is good, but anything that smacks of gay – or people enjoying themselves without permission – is evil, evil, evil.

 
 

I must have missed it. What’s the deal with the apostrophes?

 
 

Is that a tear on her cheek or….?

Bukkake!

 
 

Drag Queens and Bukkake. Is this the best pre-weekend SN post or what?

 
 

Gosh, Friday’s been great so far, not to mention you have the best comments in town.

 
 

John D. said,
May 29, 2009 at 19:54
“Remember when the Ayatollah Khomeni’s death sentence against Salman Rushdie was proclaimed, and some of the usual American right wing propagandists where sympathetic…to Khomeni?”

Specifically, I remember Pat Buchanan taking the pro-fatwa side on Crossfire.

 
 

That doesn’t look like a tear on her cheek. More like …

oh, nevermind

 
 

WOLVERETTES!!!!!!!

 
 

They married young she became a widow
And for all of her bingo friends- ditto
She succumbed to ordinary jive
And was miserable
Tired of waiting for her ship and captain
Too afraid that the prior would happen
Fell in love with an ordinary guy
Who was dressed in drag

Your love’s better than aliens tonight
Your love’s better than anything that I like
Alot

How can you bury your head so deep
In the bed (and pillowcase)
Girl, there’s no oxygen
Shortly after, the waves came crashing in
She moved on to find bigger fish to swim with
In the lonely, lonely November night
She was abducted on sight
Based on her principles

Your love’s better than aliens tonight
Your love’s better than everything that I like

 
 

To the average Muslim, the threat of a Christian solder in their country to provide order is not nearly as threatening as the Westerners’ presence being the harbingers of gay pride and other events reflecting moral decadence. The Islamic world is already leery of moral decay in America, and tonight’s party at our Iraqi embassy celebrating conspicuous sexual behavior will only give the Muslims more motivation for wanting American and Western influence permanently out of their lands.

This would be more convincing if Cavere had some evidence for her assertions about what most threatens the average Iraqi Muslim. Was it all because of Teh Ghey in American culture that they suicide bombed us AND each other? I think not.

And do we have any idea what the embassy employees get up to at heterosexually focused parties? Why, no. No we don’t. For all we know they’re doing pole dances in the pub. And nobody cares.

 
 

That doesn’t look like a tear on her cheek. More like …

oh, nevermind

That would explain the smile on Kristal’s face. From Kristeen’s expression there may be more “tears” on the way.

 
 

Specifically, I remember Pat Buchanan taking the pro-fatwa side on Crossfire.

How does that so totally NOT surprise me.

 
 

Could someone ask Kristeen to close her legs? It’s quite distracting.

 
 

More offensive than our men in arms in an Islamic country are men in drag

That’s right. 9/11 was revenge for Rudy Guiliani in a dress.

 
 

Y’know, I’ll insist Sotomayor give up all her Latino organization memberships and renounce her past boosting of Latino causes as soon as Alito & Scalia resign from the Knights of Columbus and Roberts from the Hibernian Society.

Until then, Rushbo, pogue mahone.

 
 

Y’know, I’ll insist Sotomayor give up all her Latino organization memberships and renounce her past boosting of Latino causes as soon as Alito & Scalia resign from the Knights of Columbus and Roberts from the Hibernian Society.

but but but white European males are ALLOWED to be defensive and bigoted about their heritage, ’cause shut up that’s why. And illegals or something.

 
Muhammad Q Public
 

Blowing up my children with a drone-launched missile-strike? Hey, shit happens, forgive and forget. But men in dresses drinking Appletinis — oh, hells no! This will not stand!

 
 

but but but white European males are ALLOWED to be defensive and bigoted about their heritage, ’cause shut up that’s why. And illegals or something.

Also, they’re white. Also.

 
 

as soon as Alito & Scalia resign from the Knights of Columbus and Roberts from the Hibernian Society.

You forgot Opus Dei.

 
 

But men in dresses drinking Appletinis — oh, hells no! This will not stand!

Not to worry. They’ll be quaffing Cosmos, I’m sure of it.

 
 

You forgot Opus Dei.

Look, if they want to have sex with penguins, that’s their get-out…

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Of course, there’s no such thing as homosexuality in a culture where most young men are denied access to women.

 
 

Look, if they want to have sex with penguins, that’s their get-out…

As long as it’s heterosexual sex with non-gay penguins…

 
 

As long as it’s heterosexual sex with non-gay penguins…

I presumed it was totally het sex when it was Opus Dei and not Opus Ghey

 
 

Opus Dei and the Knights? Opus! My man!

 
 

The Daily Beast has confirmed that the photographs of abuses at Iraq’s Abu Ghraib prison, which President Obama, in a reversal, decided not to release, depict sexually explicit acts, including a uniformed soldier receiving oral sex from a female prisoner, a government contractor engaged in an act of sodomy with a male prisoner and scenes of forced masturbation, forced exhibition, and penetration involving phosphorous sticks and brooms.

What does protocol say about jamming things, including cocks, up the asses of Arab prisoners anyway?

This was, of course, described as “Fraternity Hazing” back in the day — goddamn frat queers.

 
 

Also, they’re white. Also.

And there’s the whole thing about the fact that wingnuts defend the Confederate flag as nothing more than a noble expression of great Southern heritage, whereas if a Hispanic holds a Mexican flag WAAAH RAAAAR RECONQUISTA HULK SMAASSSH!!

BTW I noticed Loud Obbs is listed as a guest for that Value Menu Voter Summit thing. Why, and here I thought he was just a common-sense centrist! *gasp* You mean he’s willing to be seen with outright racists and defenders of treason? Wow.

 
 

Look, if they want to have sex with penguins, that’s their get-out…

As long as it’s consensual heterosexual sex with non-gay penguins…

Fiz’d

 
 

I was just surprised that there were enough gays in the embassy to even have a movie night, much less a costume party. Hmmm….

 
 

Pere Ubu, I was looking for that Crossfire clip on YouTube but couldn’t find it. My memory thinks it was Hitchens in the middle back when he was to the left of most of us SadlyNaughts. Yes, tis true. I will leave you people with this instead.

 
 

This was, of course, described as “Fraternity Hazing” back in the day — goddamn frat queers.

Obama and the White House seem to be going the “Terrorist Surveillance Program” route: oh no, these photos we’re talking about just show happy unicorns prancing around a meadow. But you can’t see them. Other photos? gotta go kthxbai

 
 

“Although gay pride parties and parades are considered abrasive by many in U.S. culture, this is downright belligerent within a Muslin culture which considers unveiled women provocative.”

But you see, they aren’t really women so it’s ok. I thought she knew about that loop hole.

 
The Rainbow Batman Is Seriously Not Amused
 

Kristia Cavere lost her brother, Sgt. Jonathan Cadavero, a Medic in the 10th Mountain Division, in Iraq in February 2007. She has dedicated the rest of her life to protecting and defending America.

And she’s using her dead brother as credentials for spewing her homophobia hither and yon? Holy shit, someone’s actually giving Coulter a run for her money in the contemptibility department.

 
 

Maybe the gays should wear cotton veils to appease the Muslins.

 
 

And she’s using her dead brother as credentials for spewing her homophobia hither and yon? Holy shit, someone’s actually giving Coulter a run for her money in the contemptibility department.

There’s a reason I like to call people like her “necrophiles”, or better yet, “ghouls”.

She’s just continuing the tradition of post-9/11wingnuts feeding off the dead.

 
 

Best. Thread. In. Ages.

 
 

Let’s get the best of both worlds! Have the trannies lip synch punk music.

But would even the Bush administration have countenanced such extreme forms of torture?

 
 

Ru Paul’s revenge!

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

We have to respect Muslim culture by not being gay in their country.

What? They installed a footbath at some college in Minnesota? DHIMMI!

 
 

she may have a point. we really must ask ourselves:

is it better to be feared, or respected because of your ability to dance in 6″ fuck me pumps?

and ultimately, can we strive to be BOTH feared AND respected by our sense of fabulousness in the face of grave danger?

also, buttseks is the new COIN. also.

 
 

They installed a footbath at some college in Minnesota?

Does it come with optional massage?

I’m matriculating as we speak!

(*sigh* Go on, I left that one for you…)

 
 

Yes, but more to the point: punk music totally sux ass!!!!11!!

 
 

“Pere Ubu, I was looking for that Crossfire clip on YouTube but couldn’t find it. My memory thinks it was Hitchens in the middle back when he was to the left of most of us SadlyNaughts. Yes, tis true. I will leave you people with this instead.”

Yeah, Hitchens did a fair bit of good work about Khomeni’s little temper tantrum back in the day, as well as the neocons’ opportunistic reaction to it. (This was in his pre-insanity days, well before his turn to the Dark Side, natch.) He pointed out certain facts in his Nation column at the time: Some other fundie Muslim “leader” in Africa had been getting more attention than Khomeni approved of, and so he decided to announce his fatwah against Rushdie purely as a method of grabbing the spotlight back. (“If anybody’s gonna be a genocidal, murderous fundamnetalist lunatic, it’s gonna be ME!!!!”) The whole thing was entirely an exercise in cynicism, and it’s kinda funny/shocking to think just how similar to our own corrupt political class the Ayatollah really was. Yes, he was a madman and a murderer, but one would have thought he was at least a sincere madman and murderer.

But, no. He was every bit the conniving political slimebag and politician as any two-bit hustler working in the current day Senate. This Cavere bitch is following in a proud tradition indeed.

 
 

The Fool said,
May 29, 2009 at 21:42
“Let’s get the best of both worlds! Have the trannies lip synch punk music.
But would even the Bush administration have countenanced such extreme forms of torture?”

The Fool’s unhealthy anti-punk obsession is getting a bit silly isn’t it? Fool, why don’t you just go on Craig’s List, find some chick with a nose ring, fuck to “The Clash”, and get over it? You are boring us and that is the ultimate sin.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

The ideas of tolerance, diversity, and understanding are frequently toted by President Obama and his allies on the left.

But only in reusable canvas bags.

 
 

I WIN!
I RULE!

PUNK MUSIC SUX HUGE GREEN DONKEY DICKS!!!!!

 
 

I KNOW SOME CIA AGENTS WHO ARE PUNK MUSIC FANS AND WHO LOVE TO SUCK ASS. BECAUSE THEY ARE PUNKS!!!

 
 

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE PUNK FAN WHO SUCKED ASS?

WHICH ONE?

 
 

If you think about it, what could be worse than straight edge punk?

Seriously. First of all, it’s punk, so you’ve already removed the rock since punk musicians don’t know how to play their instruments hence are congenitally unable to rock. Then, being straight-edge, they take out the sex and the drugs. So basically, you’ve gone from sex, drugs, and rock and roll to …..well…to nothing except an ugly fashion trend in clothing. Uh, why are we listening to this shite again?

Punk music: it blows. Oh, it blows hard.

 
 

OT – I’m standing here reading a PDF for a role-playing game and see if this lil’ niblet doesn’t sound, oh, all kinds of familiar:

This is an adventure that takes place around a legislative fight. It’s obvious that Congress is going to have to appropriate a staggering amount of emergency money to deal with the growing debt crisis. The question is twofold: where does the money come from, and where does it go? The lobbyists for the failed bankers are screaming for their clients to be bailed out, blaming the government for relaxing regulations and allowing them to burrow their way into this pile of ordure. OF course, it was the very same people howling now who fought for those relaxations, but that’s immaterial. Bankers can’t lose money! It goes against nature!

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

OT: Mancow self-pwns in perhaps the universe’s most incoherent blog posting ever.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

There are role-playing games about the federal budget? Doesn’t seem like it would make for fun costumes.

 
 

I’m standing here reading a PDF for a role-playing game

You are inside a bank vault. To your right, you see a gleaming coin on the floor…

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Always ask the elf at the door. First rule of role-playing: ALWAYS ASK.

 
 

Anyone feeling masochistic?

Here’s Cavere advising Elizabeth Edwards that her life isn’t complicated, and it’s bloody well time to either forgive and forget her husband’s affair and lovechild or divorce his cheating ass. What’s she waiting for? To die of cancer?

http://newsbyus.com/index.php/article/2575

It’s not that complicated to know your own mind, feelings, and ability to forgive. The time is already overdue for Elizabeth Edwards to make a decision.

Cavere is clearly incapable of walking a yard in anyone else’s shoes. But she doesn’t even try. It’s obvious that the whole article was written with no other purpose than to bash Edwards.

BONUS! There’s a strangely truthy Day by Day cartoon on the page. The Republican party resembles nothing so much these days as an abusive spouse in turns berating and begging a spouse with blackened eyes, missing teeth and multiple casts for one more chance to make everything right.

 
 

It’s a game called “Underground”, about super-powered veterans in 2021, the corporations and government who fuck ’em over, and how the players-as-vets get their own back on their oppressors.

Lots of guns, the media is a mass of violence, sex, and pap, corrupt Feds, wars in places with unpronouncable names over rights to sell goods, mercenaries, applications to the government for “Free Speech Permits”, decaying infrastructure, cynical exploitation of the “hero” concept…

…nothing like reality, in other words.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Here’s Cavere advising Elizabeth Edwards that her life isn’t complicated, and it’s bloody well time to either forgive and forget her husband’s affair and lovechild or divorce his cheating ass.

Ms. Cavere is opposed to publicizing one’s private pain.

She can be reached at http://www.goldstarsister.com.

 
 

holy fuckin shit, did that DbD cartoon just say that she wouldn’t get beaten if she didn’t vote Democratic?

WTF.

 
 

Oh, here, these quotes will give you a fair taste of why I love this game and why the Glibertarian role-playing fraternity passed it by:

A full size replica of the Statue of Liberty, resculpted to give the figure a more contemporary, sexy look. Can you say cleavage, boys and girls? The replica is sponsored by Alpaca Smokes, the cigarette manufacturer. Its face is animated: Lady Liberty winks at passing planes and has a lit Alpaca dangling from her lips.
A controversy is now raging over the recent bombing of the original in New York. Investigative reporters have linked a team of boosts employed by Alpaca to the sabotage, accusing them of blowing the statue up so they could make an offer to “repair” it their way. Alpaca executives have denied the accusation, blaming the incident on anti-smoking activists. Nonetheless, some Republocrats have called for sponsorship rights to the Washington model to be given to another cigarette company.

And this, about fast-food in the Nation’s new capital, “Democracy City”:

A recent addition to the lineup is Coppy’s, a place that specializes in sausages manufactured from sewage solids supplemented by soybean protein and steak flavoring. This technology dates back to the early 1990s, but it’s taken a long time for someone to attempt to market the product commercially. Coppy’s management is divided over whether they should cover up the source of their meat or promote it vigorously; its many satisfied customers are currently munching in ignorance. Coppy’s is working on a deal with the Foster administration to mass-produce their sausages for consumption by federal prisoners, schoolchildren in lunch programs, and food stamp recipients.

 
 

holy fuckin shit, did that DbD cartoon just say that she wouldn’t get beaten if she didn’t vote Democratic?

Websense blocked the site for me.

Thank you, Websense!

 
 

at 22:40 zombie rotten mcdonald said,

holy fuckin shit, did that DbD cartoon just say that she wouldn’t get beaten if she didn’t vote Democratic?

I think what Muir meant to say in his customary clear and tasteful manner was that conservatives giving Republicans another chance to hurt them by electing them are being like an abused wife who keeps giving her abuser another chance. For non-rich conservatives, I’d say this was pretty accurate observation, if incoherently expressed.

 
 

cowalker, I was going to get into an review of the text of that DbD cartoon, but then I realized “Fuck, I’m analyzing a Day by Day cartoon” and then went and made myself a drink.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

cowalker, I was going to get into an review of the text of that DbD cartoon, but then I realized “Fuck, I’m analyzing a Day by Day cartoon” and then went and made myself a drink.

Very cool. Earlier today I turned into a restaurant.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

BTW, does Kristia Cavere look an awful lot like Bernice Fish, or am I dating myself?

 
 

Nonono, the very classy analogy implies that the Dems are the ones who break their promises, but Republicans don’t. Hence the non-beaten Republican voter.

Which, um…did they forget the last eight years? ‘Cause I remember a whole bunch of right-wingers screeching about how Bush was a dirty librul on immigration, spending, etc.

 
 

TGIF, zombie rotten mcdonald.

It struck me because I had recently made a similar observation on another blog. I was surprised to find that Muir shared my perception. Other bloggers have compared Cheney’s “Torture Rocks” tour to a spurned boyfriend standing outside the ex’s home holding a boom box over his head until he wins her back.

 
 

Clearly there need to be Muir specialists in the literature departments of universities to explain his strip to the rest of us.

 
 

Here’s another reason the typical Glibertarian might have passed Underground by:

They do not object to this because the entire procedure takes place under the guise of a popular attraction entitled The Price of Freedom is Vigilance. Friendly audioanimatronic figures of Father Charles Coughlin, Joseph McCarthy, G. Gordon Liddy, Oliver North, and Edwin Meese guide visitors through the process as they explain that a free society must not extend its freedoms to those who would destroy those freedoms. This display is sponsored by Birch Tree Associates, producers of Vigilance Team, a vidnet action-adventure show featuring computer reconstructions of McCarthy, Liddy, North,and company.

And there’s a TV show called “Big Mean Animals Tear the Crap Out of Each Other”.

Man, I fuckin’ LOVE this game.

 
 

Earlier today I turned into a restaurant.

That must have been painful.

 
 

Punk music: it blows. Oh, it blows hard.

And yet it never blows you no matter how much you wave around that greasy little Vienna sausage you call a dick.

 
 

Wait-a Chris Muir cartoon that’s so poorly written the point is lost? Gosh, how often does THAT happen?

 
 

#

Rusty Shackleford said,

May 29, 2009 at 22:53 (kill)

cowalker, I was going to get into an review of the text of that DbD cartoon, but then I realized “Fuck, I’m analyzing a Day by Day cartoon” and then went and made myself a drink.

Very cool. Earlier today I turned into a restaurant.

I’ll be back later to kick your ass, Rusty.

 
 

From News by Us.com, Boise, Idaho, we find a guy who beats Muir at his own game.

 
 

Brandi 😉

 
 

we find a guy who beats Muir at his own game

The page says “toons” plural, but I only see the one.

Unless each panel is a separate ‘toon, in which case it’s infinitely more unfunny than if it was all one.

 
 

A male humanoid: I picked up a hitch-hiker today. She was a witch.

Another humanoid: A witch? Whaduhya mean?

Male humanoid again: She put her hand on my leg, & I turned into a motel.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

The Hedges character has the ability to speak in different fonts, like P.T. Bridgeport except with infinitely less effort from the artist.

 
 

She knows as much about the “average Muslim” as I know about bernoulli numbers.

She has dedicated the rest of her life to protecting and defending America

I’m just guessing here, because I’m too late to Google, but…I’m willing to bet a Coke that she’s not protecting and defending America in the armed forces.

 
 

No, it’s each is on its own. (Not a “comic strip,” but a serious editorial cartoon.) Infinitely more unfunny.

 
 

whoops, make that ‘too lazy.’

 
 

Actually this is quite brilliant. She uses stereotypes about one group of people to defend bigotry against another group of people. Best of all, she can take a serious piss on people who are members of both groups without even trying! It is a vertiable daisy chain of assholery.

Next up: Women serving in Iraq and Afghanistan should be forced to wear burqua lest they offend the rabid natives.

 
 

No, it’s each is on its own. (Not a “comic strip,” but a serious editorial cartoon.) Infinitely more unfunny.

Wow, you mean he’s passing off shit like “The Obamanation continues” and “Wonder how long the electricity will stay on” as political humor?

Wow. He makes Muir look like fuckin’ Herblock.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Perhaps Mr. Hedges makes more sense when he is working as a straight editorialist, without the distracting necessity of coming up with one Sims-like picture. Let’s see:

Religion ala WikiPedia.

It’s a start for a wide ranging search for an accepted definition.

Let’s take a snippet and try to run with it:

“…moral codes, practices, values, institutions and rituals associated with such belief.”

In the near past, we can identify various fun groups that are seldom considered to be religions but belong in the bucket: Communist, Facist, Marxist, Nazi, Progressive and Socialist.

Wait a minute you yell, “Progressives have nothin to do Communists, Facists, Marxists, Nazis or Socialists.”

To bad, you need to do some research….

All of the above apply in some percentage to the Progressives.

There’s more, but you get the idea.

 
 

Wait a minute you yell, “Progressives have nothin to do Communists, Facists, Marxists, Nazis or Socialists.”

To bad, you need to do some research….

I assume that was verbatim.

With mad grammarye skillzez like that, he should stick to cartoons.

 
 

Will these people ever get irony?

 
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig
 

There’s more, but you get the idea.

These nutcases are sheer, raving nutcases. Maybe the real reason that raygun closed all the mental hospitals and threw the patients on the street was to get more repig voters.

 
 

she’s not protecting and defending America in the armed forces

I could be awful & assume something about services provided to the Armed Forces. I wasn’t going to, but when one reads crap like this

But now we have the religion of liberalism taking over the state as its church to espouse their theological values.

at *GOLD STAR SISTER* (Ghoul, indeed!) we’re just going to assume she’s working out some psycho-sexual issues following the murder of her brother.

(How does “religion of liberalism …” follow from “gay parties will really tick off the very core of propriety and decency of the blood-thirsty infidel-killing Sharia jihadists?)

Hello, sailor!!

 
 

I was going to say how suprised I was that he puts his name up there with that crap but then I remembered the Dunning-Kruger effect. One really needs to keep the Dunning-Kruger effect in mind when dealing with whingers. It explains so much.

 
 

Waitaminnit – “Facist”?

What, a political philosophy based around Facebook?

Or which judges people by their facial shape?

 
 

Women serving in Iraq and Afghanistan should be forced to wear burquas lest they offend the rabid nativesdrive our MEN in uniform to rape them.

(For full agreement w/ Kristia’s pro-propriety & decency stance.)

 
 

the Dunning-Kruger effect

Qua?

 
 

If we act gay, then the Arabs will hate us and think we’re fairies.

“And if two people do it … in harmony…”*

*Note to whippersnappers

 
 

D-K effect:

Descriptor for assholery.

 
 

Here’s an odd factoid it took me 15 seconds to find on google. Did you know that Turkey (you know, one of the Islamic nations bordering Iraq) has one of the largest transsexual/ transvestite communities in the world (more per capita than the United States)?
They often have to live in the poorest neighborhoods, next to Iraqi Christian refugees fleeing the religious persecution of the last 5 years.
Also, this
And this
Unfortunately, in many of the stricter Islamic nations, transvestites are treated as badly as they were in America 40 years ago.

 
 

“There may have been stupider things said at Renew America but, if so, I’m hard pressed to think of them.”

I can’t believe that you, a devotee of the great Grant Swank, can say such a thing. Why, a single perusal of Renew America can easily produce two or three dozen things stupider than that woman’s maunderings.

 
 

Rusty Shackleford said,
May 29, 2009 at 22:19
“OT: Mancow self-pwns in perhaps the universe’s most incoherent blog posting ever.”

Good find Rusty. Most of the commentators accuse him of pretending waterboarding is torture for publicity reasons. There are zero pro-Mancow comments. I guess it is tough to straddle the line between fucking asshole and civilized human.

Come in the water is fine. This is one of my contributions.

“Mancow, it would seem that your moment of clarity was short lived. You experienced 6 seconds of a fisher price version of waterboarding and cried like a baby. Many thought that you were cured of your stupidity. They were wrong. I have more respect for drug addicts. Drug addiction unlike douchebaggery is much harder to cure. Most crackheads have more character and are better Christians and Americans than you.”

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

we find a guy who beats Muir at his own game

That was pretty bad, all right.

Unfortunately, The best conservative comic evar has mostly gone offline – its hosting site was a dumbass libertarian site that folded up a few months after getting started, and it’s slowly been disintegrating ever since. I managed to salvage a few of the strips, including the linked one (the best of them all).

 
 

“in Baghdad, Iraq, no less.”

As opposed to the OTHER Baghdad we have an embassy in?

I miss Herblock.

 
 

From the wiki

The Dunning-Kruger effect is an example of cognitive bias in which “…people reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices but their incompetence robs them of the metacognitive ability to realize it”[1]. They therefore suffer an illusory superiority, rating their own ability as above average. This leads to a perverse result where people with less competence will rate their ability more highly than people with relatively more competence.

 
 

Did you know that Turkey (you know, one of the Islamic nations bordering Iraq) has one of the largest transsexual/ transvestite communities in the world

For a real good time, check out the facts on homosex in Afghanistan. They lurvs them some boysex there.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Come in the water is fine.

Already in the pool as Blarty Blarckleblart.

 
 

dumbass libertarian site

Redundancy.

 
 

Religion ala WikiPedia.

It’s a start for a wide ranging search for an accepted definition.

Let’s take a snippet and try to run with it:

“…moral codes, practices, values, institutions and rituals associated with such belief.”

In the near past, we can identify various fun groups that are seldom considered to be religions but belong in the bucket: Communist, Facist, Marxist, Nazi, Progressive and Socialist.

Also: GIRLSCOUTS. WooooOOOOoooOOOOooo!

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Redundancy.

Mea culpa. I was typing fast and not paying attention – and now that I look at it, it’s more of a conservatard site; all the blog-like entries are from the week of shock-n-awe and one of them is pretty solid cookie-cutter wingnut triumphalism wanking on about how all the dictators in the world were about to get theirs because of the glory and majesty of Gee Dumbya.

 
 

wingnut triumphalism wanking on about how all the dictators in the world were about to get theirs because of the glory and majesty of Gee Dumbya

I wonder how that whole thing ever turned out…?

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I wonder how that whole thing ever turned out…?

Epic fail, I’m sorry to say. Even though GW was a man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he couldn’t get anyone to listen to him.

 
 

Come in the water is fine.

Not in my hot tub, it aint.

 
 

So that’s why they call you PeeJ.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

The whole thing was entirely an exercise in cynicism, and it’s kinda funny/shocking to think just how similar to our own corrupt political class the Ayatollah really was.

It is a weird thing, I suppose. I think the common impression is that politics in the Middle East is somehow more noble and/or sincere in their little stump speeches, that the President of Iran is seriously speaking from the heart when he discusses driving Israel into the sea or some shit.

He’s not. He’s the same politician in spirit as the countless Deep South dungheaps bitching and whining about the War of Northern Aggression and Confederate honor. He sells a line of bullshit like he’s sincere, he gets elected.

It’s about power and fame, ultimately. There’s no one free and clear of dealing with the Beast, no matter what nation you land on.

Even the mayor of the tiniest village of Easter Island is selling his constituents a line of crap so he can stay mayor.

 
 

Did you know that Turkey (you know, one of the Islamic nations bordering Iraq) has one of the largest transsexual/ transvestite communities in the world

Fun fact: I live just down the street from a gay sex club (very discreetly called Ficken 3000 and painted with a rainbow flag motif), in the middle of a heavily Turkish/Arab neighborhood. They’re mostly fairly conservative Muslims (the women wear brightly colored headscarves), more so than the average in Turkey. And yet, there have been no suicide bombings of said den of iniquity. Hell, not even graffiti. Little old ladies in heavy robes walk by carrying their groceries, without so much as batting an eye.

 
 

She is Seventh-day Adventist or her bother was.

http://iraqnam.blogspot.com/2007/03/jonathan-cadavero-remembered.html

Seventh-day Adventist believers won’t tell you that they consider themselves to be the only, true, remnant Church. Their prophetess, Ellen G. White, whom they revere and believe without question has told them that

“…Satan has taken full possession of the Churches”. (Spiritual Gifts V.l,p.189-90) They also believe our prayers are an “abomination” to God. (Spiritual Gifts, V1 p.190).

That is what they think of you and your church, even if they won’t say it out loud in public, or to your face.

They revere their founding prophetess, Ellen G. White, and made this statement in their “Ministry” Magazine of Oct. 1981 and have never retracted it:

“We believe the revelation and inspiration of both the Bible and Ellen White’s writings to be of equal quality. The superintendence of the Holy Spirit was just as careful and thorough in one case as in the other”.

They won’t tell you too much about Ellen G. White at their public seminars, but their goal is to bring the person attending to the point of conversion and baptism.

Their 2000 baptismal certificate poses questions to which the candidate must answer “yes”. Question 8 says,

“Do you accept the biblical teaching of spiritual gifts and believe that the gift of prophecy is one of the identifying marks of the remnant church”.

If the candidate says “yes” and is baptised, they soon learn that the “gift of prophecy” is Ellen G. White’s writings. Point 13 has them accepting that the SDA Church is the remnant church of Bible Prophecy. They have been baptized into an exclusive group, but they don’t know how exclusive it is, yet!

No doubt they will be urged to avail themselves of a “Clear Word Bible”. This publication of theirs has inserted the words and doctrines of Ellen G. White right into the Bible text, insuring that the person studying it will have the mind of Ellen G. White.

Slowly, but surely, the new SDA will come to believe these extra-biblical doctrines that set the SDA church apart from Evangelical Christianity.

 
 

Of course Middle Eastern politicians are full of shit, too. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: folks is folks. This carries with it a lot of implications, both positive and negative.

 
 

They might have to stick with drag queens, because at least they won’t bleed all over the place once a month, like that crazy Soda-lady nominated for the White Male Supreme Court:

[G. GORDON] LIDDY: Let’s hope that the key conferences aren’t when she’s menstruating or something, or just before she’s going to menstruate. That would really be bad. Lord knows what we would get then.

Thankfully Liddy also reveals he won’t fall for any of that “Spanish language” shit neither:

LIDDY: I understand that they found out today that Miss Sotomayor is a member of La Raza, which means in illegal alien, “the race.” And that should not surprise anyone because she’s already on record with a number of racist comments.

Some of us were nearly tempted to take “Illegal Alien” as our foreign language elective in college.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

OT – I’m standing here reading a PDF for a role-playing game and see if this lil’ niblet doesn’t sound, oh, all kinds of familiar:

Congresses and Caucuses?

Come in the water is fine.
Not in my hot tub, it aint.

Randy “Duke” Cunningham would be aghast.

 
 

I understand that they found out today that Miss Sotomayor is a member of La Raza, which means in illegal alien, “the race.”

What’s that Great Gazoogle? An old La Raza press release?

Murguia also noted Gonzales’ ties to the Hispanic community throughout his career. “Alberto Gonzales served with distinction on the board of directors of one of NCLR’s oldest and most respected affiliates, the Association for the Advancement of Mexican Americans (AAMA) in Houston, Texas. Moreover, during his tenure as White House Counsel, he has been one of the most accessible members of the White House staff to NCLR and other Hispanic organizations,” added Murguia.

Huh.

 
 

I understand that they found out today that Miss Sotomayor is a member of La Raza, which means in illegal alien, “the race.”
What does it mean in Skinhead Ex-Convict?

 
 

What does it mean in Skinhead Ex-Convict?

Spic. Dead spic, if he had his way.

 
The Kid From Kounty Meath
 

Well, I’m glad Liddy’s sounded off on it. I can’t support a Supreme Court nominee without first hearing a fuckin’ hitman’s opinion on her.

 
 

I also enjoy the “illegal alien” assault. Puerto Ricans have been US citizens since 1917. Spanish, by the way is the official language of PR, along with English. People born in the Bronx, if I’m not mistaken, have been granted US citizenship since there has been a US, regardless of parental citizenship. Never mind that SotomayOR’s parents were both US citizens to begin with.

Jeebus, they’re as stupid as they are hateful.

 
 

The Islamic culture does not appreciate or allow public sexual displays to begin with.

It’s odd that she cares one iota considering she hangs with the bunch that a) advocate the wholesale slaughter of Muslims to protect ‘murrica. and b) supported the torture of Iraqi prisoners.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

The Islamic culture does not appreciate or allow patitas con garbanzos, either, therefore the nomination of Sonia Sotomayor would be an affront to the Iraqi people.

 
 

Hey BBBB,

…But also an affront to Fundamentalist Muslims and therefore a necessary measure!!

Hey Pere Ubu,

If this game doesn’t involve both/either cyber and/or decking then why bother! On second thought, an exemption can be made if there are sorts of physical adepts or telekinetics. Who am I kidding, any dystopia will do.

 
 

Invade my country, destroy my house, kill my family. None of these pisses me off more than your embassy’s insult to my religion and to my manhood like this show you are putting on. For that you shall die, infidel.

 
 

I think the real question here is, if you’re in the military, should you attend?

 
 

The thing is that at least up until Shock & Awe, Iraq was about the most progressive & secular country in the Mideast … I presume it’s considerably less so now. My guess is that most of the regular Muslims there would view a bunch of pasty wonks in skirts & mascara as welcome comic relief while they wait to get their rationed medicine.

It’s weird … there’s quite the tapestry of irony here: the US invaded Vietnam to keep it from going “Red” when it was probably just gonna go Social Democrat – & basically turned it into a Communist regime. The Nixonian “Cluster-Bombs For Peace” approach to “preserving freedom” in Cambodia spawned Pol Pot. A fortune to prop up & arm the Shah, oohing & ahhing over the 20 pounds of sparkly scrambled eggs on his uniform, while everyone else on Earth with an IQ dreaded & loathed him? Hello Khomeini!

Hmmmm.

I think I just figured out a really easy way to save America a LOT of money while upping its foreign-affairs batting-average.

 
 

The Islamic culture does not appreciate or allow public sexual displays to begin with.

It’s odd that she cares one iota considering she hangs with the bunch that a) advocate the wholesale slaughter of Muslims to protect ‘murrica. and b) supported the torture of Iraqi prisoners.

Once again, we see it’s all about scoring gotcha points and nothing else.

 
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon
 

It’s weird … there’s quite the tapestry of irony here:

The whole of 20th century American foreign policy can basically be summed up as:

“Hey doctor, it hurts when I do this!”

Alas, no one has yet to become the doctor in that punchline.

 
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge
 

Actually, all of the doctor jokes work:

“Have you had this same exact shit happen before?”

“*Crickets*”

“I broke my plans in three places!”

“*Crickets*”

Says something when Archie Campbell on Hee-Haw is smarter than your whole foreign policy establishment.

 
 

PeeJ said,

May 30, 2009 at 0:01

Did you know that Turkey (you know, one of the Islamic nations bordering Iraq) has one of the largest transsexual/ transvestite communities in the world

For a real good time, check out the facts on homosex in Afghanistan. They lurvs them some boysex ther

That reminds me of the time I went to jamaica where gaysex is banned baby, banned I tell you! Oh but I met several boys who would’ve stuck their things in my earhole if I woulda let them (oh sorry TMI yall?)

 
 

You must have big ears.

 
 

Perhaps they were fans of Joe Orton.

 
 

And, y’know, quite apart from anything else: Isn’t it simply adorable the way the wingnuts will occasionally pretend to give a shit about Islamic “culture” (or what they claim is Islamic culture, i.e. as in this case, homophobia) in order to twist that into a weapon with which to bash convenient targets?

I think that was the thrust of one of Dinesh D’Souza’s recent books, that American liberalism was to blame for Islamic terrorism. In other words, they do hate us for our liberal freedoms (or efforts to expand them, such as same-sex marriage), so the answer to terrorism is to take those liberal freedoms away.

 
 

It’s weird … there’s quite the tapestry of irony here: the US invaded Vietnam to keep it from going “Red” when it was probably just gonna go Social Democrat – & basically turned it into a Communist regime.

The really weird thing is that Vietnam today is probably basically what supporters of the war 45 years ago hoped it would be. We have diplomatic and trade relations with it, its economic reforms have made Vietnam wealthier, it lives in peace with its neighbors. Makes you wonder if the same thing could have been accomplished if we had not pissed away the lives of 55 thousand American soldiers and who knows how many Vietnamese.

 
 

The really weird thing is that Vietnam today is probably basically what supporters of the war 45 years ago hoped it would be. We have diplomatic and trade relations with it, its economic reforms have made Vietnam wealthier, it lives in peace with its neighbors.

Not to mention they host sweatshops for American corporations. Guess “we” won after all.

 
 

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