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Saturday Wingnut Outrage Roundup
Unless you’ve been buried in an air-tight crypt twenty feet under the surface of Mars, you are painfully aware, I’m sure, that the wingnut-o-sphere has been going chinka-chinka-chinka blam-blam kafooey at several hundred miles per hour non-stop for the past few days over Nancy Pelosi. (“Nancy Pelosi approved torture, which is totally binding on all liberals, who now can no longer ever say that any kind of torture is bad! Hahaha, stupid libs, we win!!!!) Fortunately, some of our favorite right-wingers have resisted the siren-call of the Poop-on-Pelosi Parade and have continued to search for outrage where no one has found it before and, I must say, have done so with stunningly entertaining results.
ABOVE: L. Brent Bozell III and L. Brent Bozell Jr. in their ancestral manse
L. Brent Bozell III is over at Newsblusters outraged that a music critic has a funny name and doesn’t like a few jingoistic country songs.
ABOVE: “Babe” Huggett (left), “Babe” the Pig (center) and Unnamed Goose (right)
Ann “Babe” Huggett is over at Renew America outraged that all the actors in the Star Trek movie are under 25 but is happy that this might annoy the boomers who fired her from a real job and forced her to become a full-time wingnut. (I swear on all that is holy and sacred, including Lenin’s grave and Mao’s Little Red Book, that Ms. Huggett herself put “Babe” in the middle of her name of her own free will and accord and that it was not something added by me.)
ABOVE: Julie Gunlock
Julie Gunlock is over at America’s Shittiest Website™ outraged that some soup kitchens are feeding homeless people pumpkin soup seasoned with browned butter and sage, red-wine barbecue beef on handmade puff pastry, and blueberries with sour cream. Homeless people should eat donuts and pork and beans; gourmet delicacies like scallop beignets are only for people like Julie who have their own homes.
SomeNYGuy said,
May 16, 2009 at 19:48
I prefer Julie Gunlock to Madge Shootfirstandaskquestionslater.
Seriously, Julie Gunlock? Wasn’t she Lassie’s mom?
Disemvoweled troll: The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth said,
May 16, 2009 at 19:50
Pls shld rsgn, nw.
Simba B said,
May 16, 2009 at 19:56
Pls to repeat yourself, Troofie, we don’t speak lolcat here.
The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth said,
May 16, 2009 at 19:57
T311 y0r m0m h1 f0r m3, T1nt1n!
4ssw1p3.
Simba B said,
May 16, 2009 at 19:58
Please. They’d be lucky to get their clunker up out of first gear.
Simba B said,
May 16, 2009 at 19:58
We don’t speak l33t. Also.
Disemvoweled troll: Lord Harry said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:02
Thgh Nncy Pls ws rght t pprv f trtr f th llgtns r crrct, sh s dmn hypcrt fr ttckng Rpblcns fr pprvng th sm nt-trrrsm msrs tht sh nd th Dmcrts ls pprvd f, bt r nw ppsng fr pltcl rsns.
dn’t thnk tht sh r nyn ls shld b pnshd fr llwng trtr r ny thr nt-trrrsm msr. Hwvr, Qn B Pls nd hr lk shld crtnly b clld t n ths nd b frcd t dmt thr hypcrsy.
Tht bng sd, trtr s ncssry dtrnt t b sd gnst fghtng trrrsm nd shld b llwd.
Legalize said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:02
Pelosi having possibly a vague idea that the Bushies were doing some stuff that may or may have not been torture, i.e. waterboarding (which is a perfectly legal and patriotic process by the way), is far worse than the Bushies actually approving, implementing and lying about torture. Also, the fact that Pelosi literally is ALL liberals means that ALL liberals approve of torture anyway. So, what are liberals yelling about?
Simba B said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:02
Ok, one more comment and then I’ll stop spamming this thread, I promise—is that really Bozo the Clown’s father? Because, if so…wow. I fear what Bozo III’s kids look like.
Sir Windblown Dentist said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:03
I ♥ The Coup. I highly recommend Pick a Bigger Weapon. It’s great that someone as childish and superficial as Bozell would mention them in his well-read space.
Disemvoweled troll: Lord Harry said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:07
vn thgh dn’t cr fr bm nd thnk h’s sclst wh s wk n ntnl scrty sss, mst gv crdt whr crdt s d.
cmmnd hm fr cntnng mltry trbnls fr cptrd trrrsts nd hp thy r sntncd t dth nd swftly hngd pn thr cnvctns.
Lrd Hrry said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:11
Dsmvl, pls.
Till said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:12
Punk rock is the country music of urban liberal elitists who watch Star Trek and eat fancy “organic” food.
Also.
The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:13
L0rd H4rry 1s r1ght 0n, wh3th3r tw0-b1t j4ck4ss3s l1k3 T1nt1n h3r3 4dm1t 1t 0r n0t.
Simba B said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:13
Holy shit, it is him.
What a looker he is.
Lesley said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:23
Ann “Babe” Huggett reminds me of Richard Griffith’s Monty.
PeeJ said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:25
I fear what Bozo III’s kids look like.
Actual, unretouched, totally true photo.
Smiling Mortician said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:30
Every time I see that picture, Simba, the phrase “banality of evil” whispers in my ear.
Sarcastro said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:35
I’m waiting for the smash follow up; “I Like Oxygen”
“Y’know I like my air oxygenized
A bit of H2O on most every night
Not havin’ my eyes poked out so I got my sight
Enough food upon which to sup
Well my homes not overrun by flies
Don’t work for no Captain Blighs
A capacity for rhyme that’s rather mild
And not gettin my head stuck in the stove”
Disemvoweled troll: Lord Harry said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:35
Thr s nthng n th ntd Stts Cnstttn tht prhbts trtr gnst nmy cmbtnts. Th Cnstttnl prtctn nmrtd n th Bll f Rghts pply t mrcn Ctzns nly. ncldng th prhbtn n “crl nd nsl pnshmnt.”
r Fndng Fthrs nvr ntndd fr r Ntn’s Cnstttnl Sfgrds t pply t nn-ctzns, nd thy crtnly nvr ntndd fr thm t pply t th nms f r Ntn!
Y lbrls lv t ct th Cnstttn nd Bll f Rghts t “spprt” yr cdddlng f trrrsts. Bt ds th Cnstttn rlly rqr tht? Wll, s yr’r ll s ccstmd t syng rnd hr, Sdly, N!
Pere Ubu said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:35
Actual, unretouched, totally true photo.
Are you sure you’re not thinking of Mickey Kaus?
Pere Ubu said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:36
Feel the touch of a precious child
And know a mother`s love
Incest: Keepin’ It In The Family
Pere Ubu said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:38
Homeless people should eat donuts and pork and beans
Feed ‘em giant sammiches swiped from bad SF writers.
laym said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:45
What, did something happen regarding Pelosi? I had not heard.
*ducks, runs and hides*
Lunch Lady said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:48
We run a tight ship here at Glen Frey Middle School, but things’ve been a little loose ifyaknowwhatImean since we starting cutting the pumpkin soup with dish detergent.
Pere Ubu said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:49
cutting the pumpkin soup with dish detergent
Ah, the Irving Mainway method of school economics.
Pere Ubu said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:50
uh, Irwin Mainway, make that.
Lunch Lady said,
May 16, 2009 at 20:54
Pere Ubu! You make a lunch lady hope her hair net and Avon Coral #2 Lipstick are on straight!
Meanderthal said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:00
Sarcastro, you’ve got a bright career ahead of you in country music songwriting. For the love of God, please don’t do it.
Lesley said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:07
Another Republican defects.
Pinko Punko said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:09
Somebody on a Scienceblogs post commented that it might be more ethical to feed snails the poster had killed in her garden to homeless people at a soup kitchen. Someone should tell Julie “let them eat snails!”
mingo said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:15
more republican defects??? how can that be???
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:18
Someone should tell Julie “let them eat snails!”
Reminds me of this classic.
Shockingly, I can’t seem to find the appropriate video. One would think that Bernadette Peters’ décolletage would have a larger web presence.
mingo said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:20
“The Republican party, much like the stock market recently, is looking for the bottom,”
well, WE could have told them that!!!
seriously, may they not find it until they are lying in their own vomit and urine in the gutter.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:21
“The Republican party, much like the stock market recently, is looking for the bottom,”
Larry Craig is the GOP in microcosm.
El Cid said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:27
No, except for the part about treaties being the law of the land. The most immediately applicable treaty is the 1994 UN Convention Against Torture, which specifically applies to persons, as do the rights outlined in the U.S. Constitution — for example, the Constitution rarely mentions citizens and applies rights to persons throughout. That’s without getting into the U.S. criminal code which outlaws torture and defines even torture which takes place outside U.S. borders as an actionable offense.
But, of course, Ronald Reagan said it pretty well in his signing statement for the 1984 UN Convention Against Torture, as he signed it for the U.S.Senate in 1988:
Reagan made sure to include references to the US’ own Constitution and in particular its 5th, 8th, and 14th amendments.
There are all sorts of things which are wrong which are not illegal; and there are all sorts of things which are illegal which aren’t in the U.S. Constitution. These are obvious statements.
For this reason, Ronald Reagan was very careful in his Central American and Southern African and Afghan policies to only hire torturers, not to have U.S. agents carry out torture themselves. Because they were doing it any way, or would have done it, so hiring such types isn’t really bad, especially when no one can ever really prove that you had anything to do with it.
El Cid said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:30
FWIW, I think Gunlock’s point — well, it wasn’t clear — was supposed to be that liberal food snobs were making the soup kitchen / shelter diners unhappy by forcing them to eat their fancy gay librul cuisine instead of the simpler commoner food they would prefer.
Although this is another one of those conservative uses of their magic Proletarian Sense, because the writer doesn’t seek any evidence to support the insight that these users of this charity food service are unhappy with what is provided. Maybe they are. I don’t know.
N__B said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:48
Unless you’ve been buried in an air-tight crypt twenty feet under the surface of Mars
It’s like you know my innermost secrets…
bulbul said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:48
They have a mining craft the size of Rhode Island and know the future. So why didn’t they just go to their home planet and start transporting the Romulan population to a new home planet?
Well hit me over the head with a tire iron and throw me into a swamp, because I had the very same thought as I was walking home from the theatre.
Untrammeled Perpetrator said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:52
What these merdettes fail to understand is us libs have a plan for the homeless, and if we don’t feed them highly nutritious food, their flesh won’t be as palatable.
The Cat said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:53
And if they were being served garden-fresh escargot, that would be a valid point. But decently prepared beef, meatballs, potatoes, turnips, and blueberries aren’t remotely exotic. I’m not generally a big fan of squash soups myself, but that’s not fancy expensive food worthy of “bailout” sniggering [Firefox claims this word doesn't exist -- lies!] either.
So even if we make this generous assumption, the argument is still “poor people would prefer gruel.”
Major Kong said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:55
Today’s country music is nothing but bad 70s pop anyway. It’s like every crappy Eagles song that didn’t make it onto an album back in 1976.
Untrammeled Perpetrator said,
May 16, 2009 at 21:55
Thr s nthng n th ntd Stts Cnstttn tht prhbts trtr gnst nmy cmbtnts. Th Cnstttnl prtctn nmrtd n th Bll f Rghts pply t mrcn Ctzns nly. ncldng th prhbtn n “crl nd nsl pnshmnt.”
Oh, and by the way? Even without the vowels, this is so stupid it caused my asshole to tear a chunk out of the seat cushion against which it is pressed.
El Cid said,
May 16, 2009 at 22:09
Not in my opinion. But this is the NRO. I didn’t suggest the point was valid or legitimate — just that the point was that the elite libruls were forcing their fancy gay food on the prole masses depending on their aid. Remember, this is right wing conservative movement opining, utterly evidence-free, on what the Prole Masses truly want. They don’t care. They don’t know any of the actual prole/lumpen masses, and ask them what they want or don’t want.
That’s part of their game, their heist — it’s to claim what the proles want. Leave the empirical studies to the marketing world so as to sell the commoners anything from shit to shinola. It doesn’t matter how many small stores in small towns run by people with small heads (? needed a tertiary) serve lattes — the point of talking about those things in just that way is simply repeat that liberals are odd alien beings, and even if they like the exact same things you like, well, they’re still doin it rong.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 16, 2009 at 22:13
But decently prepared beef, meatballs, potatoes, turnips, and blueberries aren’t remotely exotic.
Well, anything that deviates remotely from the northern European “boil the bay-jay-zuzz out of it” school of cooking is suspect.
g said,
May 16, 2009 at 22:14
I think Gunlock’s point — well, it wasn’t clear — was supposed to be that liberal food snobs were making the soup kitchen / shelter diners unhappy by forcing them to eat their fancy gay librul cuisine instead of the simpler commoner food they would prefer.
I thought her point was that the shelter in California was wrong to serve pumpkin soup because a shelter in another location entirely threw away a perfectly good box of donuts.
Or at least, that’s what I got out of the 15 seconds I skimmed it.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 16, 2009 at 22:17
I like dough that’s fried in lard
A Chevy rusting in my yard
My arteries are thick and hard
God bless the USA!
I always cut the Preznit slack
Unless, of course, his skin is black
I need some brown folks to attack.
God bless the USA!
El Cid said,
May 16, 2009 at 22:17
I think there was some throwaway line by the baddie on how for him it had already happened, and since he was mister cruel fate revenge obsessed Romulan warrior guy he couldn’t because for him he had lost his wife and so it wouldn’t change anything for him, growl growl growl.
There is a parallel.
I mean, if the current meltdown of GOP stupidity led to a Wingnut Singularity (as speculated by the scientistians at Balloon Juice) and it allowed Dick Cheney to travel back in time to August of 2001, do you think he would start paying attention to the memos and evacuating the WTC’s, or merely doubling down on future stock or futures bets or whatever on Halliburton etc. Maybe this already happened. Maybe he was the futures bettor on the airline.
Gary Ruppert said,
May 16, 2009 at 22:30
The fact is, Freedom DuLac is just another pin-headed newspaper dweep just exposed his anti-south, anti-american bias. For me this column just distills what is wrong with the msm and why it is dying. Time was when a guy like “John Freedom de Luc” would have been only been writing for lefty alternatives like the Village Voice or the L.A. Weekly- where a marxist, politically correct, neo-euro world view could be spewed for the like-minded. That is, until the like-minded grow up or are mugged.
Today, the alternative weekly mindset has taken over giants like the New York Times or the Washington Post where true “narrowcasting” can be evident. If you like anything south of the Missisippi river (Nascar, fried food, Jesus, etc.) your paper money is worthless. That is, of course, if you can be re-educated by the likes of de Luc into the merits of whatever angry, foul-mouthed, nihilistic claptrap that is being spoon fed that week
Matt T. said,
May 16, 2009 at 22:33
If you like anything south of the Missisippi river (Nascar, fried food, Jesus, etc.) your paper money is worthless.
The Mississippi River runs north-south, you incredible nincompoop.
Clint said,
May 16, 2009 at 22:40
Ahh, the wisdom of Bozo…
Yeah, it’s hard to imagine anything like that ever happening:
Guess the Chicks should’ve just held a press conference with Donald Trump and cried about how their grandfathers fought at the Battle of the Bulge.
El Cid said,
May 16, 2009 at 22:42
No, wait a minute — what if we promise Republicans free property if they would just move south of the Mississippi?
M. Bouffant said,
May 16, 2009 at 23:06
angry, foul-mouthed, nihilistic claptrap
Stop reading my web log then, Fake (because able to type) GR.
Pere Ubu said,
May 16, 2009 at 23:20
The song demonized people who supported a war on terror: “It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.”
Doesn’t Natalie Maines realize that country music is reserved for pinhead jingoism, if it’s not about guns, booze or adultery?
That said, if it warn’t fer CMT I wouldn’t be able to watch stuff like this with the sounds off. God, I miss cable sometimes.
Fencedude said,
May 16, 2009 at 23:55
No, wait a minute — what if we promise Republicans free property if they would just move south of the Mississippi?
By which you mean, drown in the gulf?
J Neo Marvin said,
May 17, 2009 at 0:12
Pere Ubu said,
uh, Irwin Mainway, make that.
Bag O’ Sulfuric Acid was my favorite toy as a child.
Meanderthal said,
May 17, 2009 at 0:25
That said, if it warn’t fer CMT I wouldn’t be able to watch stuff like this with the sounds off. God, I miss cable sometimes.
When IS Shania law supposed to be instituted, anyway? Jeez. Four months in and still nothing. I’ve been waiting for that for a while…
Shecky McTeabagg said,
May 17, 2009 at 0:39
William Gibson postulates that free food for poor people will only be politically palatable (ha) if it tastes like shredded wet cardboard. Remember ‘Team’ flakes?
Lawnguylander said,
May 17, 2009 at 0:49
Today’s country music is nothing but bad 70s pop anyway. It’s like every crappy Eagles song that didn’t make it onto an album back in 1976.
Or like every one that did.
Smut Clyde said,
May 17, 2009 at 0:56
free food for poor people will only be politically palatable (ha) if it tastes like shredded wet cardboard.
Soylent Grey is POOP!!!
gocart mozart said,
May 17, 2009 at 1:13
Submitted without comment except does everyone have their own wiki site now?
http://rationalwiki.com/wiki/Parents_Television_Council
gocart mozart said,
May 17, 2009 at 1:20
If you served Soylent Green with soy and arugula it would be kinda elitist. Solylent green is people! Its east coast liberal latte sipping people!!eleventy!!
The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth said,
May 17, 2009 at 2:06
H3y T1nt1n, D1s3mv0w3l th1s p0st, j4ck4ss!
Bl0w m3, l1b f4gg0t,
1 h4v3 4 m1ll10n pr0x13s, f4gg0t.
The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth said,
May 17, 2009 at 2:08
BTW, 1 h4d a r34l g00d t1m3 w1th y0r m0m l4st n1ght, T1nt1n.
Sh3 n33ds t0 l0se 4 l1ttl3 w31ght, th0gh.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
May 17, 2009 at 2:17
Another Republican defects.
I’m pretty surprised, as a Utahn my own self, that Huntsman would do that – but less so after having observed that he’s intelligent, seemingly sane, civil to political opponents, and generally not what the Republicans are about these days – and they therefore pooped all over him in their current blood-flecked-foaming quest for purity.
Suck it, cons!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
May 17, 2009 at 2:21
No, really! Here, have another meaty, steaming mouthful!
BMACCNM said,
May 17, 2009 at 2:34
My goodness, but troofie decompensates quickly. What could be the underlying psychopathology in one who resorts to attacks upon a mother’s virtue when he is denied his pewling satisfaction? I’m quite serious here, because I think we’ll be seeing a lot of this in the upcoming year.
Finch said,
May 17, 2009 at 2:41
What the do wingnuts think Americans eat everyday, anyway? All these foods they call elitist are available in any local grocery store. Pumpkin soup? Blueberries? Hell, the Pilgrims ate pumpkins and blueberries. Is Gunlock going to be complaining about Eye-talian food next?
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 17, 2009 at 2:52
Finch:
Every single time they get on one of these rants about what the “liberal elites” eat, dress, watch, whatever that is inevitably destroying America, I hear that voice from O Brother, Where Art Thou.
That ain’t my culchuh an’ hair-i-tage! Izzat yor culchuh an’ hair-i-tage?
That is, the sounds of incompetent nativists and racists.
So yes, they probably will be on Italian food soon. And not even good Italian food, the shit they sell at Pizza Hut.
Untrammeled Perpetrator said,
May 17, 2009 at 3:11
The thing about the trolls that I find most pathetic is how desperately they crave to be noticed — even if it’s just to be disemvowelled, which they probably think is done by hand. The arguments they post are hastily thrown together, full of rote tropes (if you’ll pardon the blanagrammatic anagram), and show no real consideration of the thread topic, let alone of the comments themselves. They’re literally trolling for responses, and nothing more.
They thirst to be noticed. Nothing else matters. So the obvious thing to do is ignore them. What could be more satisfying, or crueler, than to pretend they’re not here? I worked with a couple of these types before — they’re the same way in person, saying all sorts of weird, nasty shit they caught on AM radio, then waiting for a reaction with this vacant, hungry grin on their faces. When you don’t respond, or deflect the remark, they feel they have “won,” but at the same time, they’re utterly dissatisfied, because they are of the mindset that has no inner resources with which to reward themselves. They need somebody to tell them they’ve won — to admit it, which is sort of like one of those plastic T-ball trophies that all the kids get just for showing up and not pissing the uniform.
The trolls (distinct from the brave opposition) gravitate to the right rather than the left because they prefer the authoritarian mode. They like right and wrong, sans gray, and fierce father figures that say how it’s going to be. Something is missing from inside them. Right around age 8 or 9, they missed an important personality-expanding stage, and now they’re stuck with mental training wheels for life. So they show up in such fora as this, demanding everybody smell their finger, and they’re enraged when nobody will do it.
Which is why I don’t respond to the trolls. If somebody wants to stick his finger up his ass, hey — it’s a free country. But I’m sure as hell not going to give it a sniff.
OriGuy said,
May 17, 2009 at 4:44
Separated at Birth?
“Babe” Huggett and Eddie Izzard
jim said,
May 17, 2009 at 5:20
The Interwebs used to have really hardcore trolls who knew their game, & their MO was both devastating & simple – post one contentious (& often innocent-sounding) comment, & then go back to gleefully lurking while others tore each other a new one around it.
They are among us no more.
Now all we have are sad little attention-whores with the mental prowess of nematodes & the monotony of air-compressors, parading their insecurity & crowing over imaginary victories.
Blame the Wingnut Brigade: many of them model themselves on the tribe of Bozell, Malkin, & Limbaugh … folks who seem to think that fact-checking means you support terrorism & that logic is part of Teh Homosexual Agenda. Their heroic icons are destroying their political future, yet they’re forbidden to question their screeds, no matter how suicidally idiotic the content – that’s just GOT to suck hard for them. They’re getting ever-shriller, their confusion & fear more & more obvious, as historical reality slowly but surely feeds their obsolete ziggurat of bunting & bullshit into the proverbial wood-chipper.
Remember – there’s no tax on schadenfreude, & it’s low in cholesterol.
Enjoy your weekend!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
May 17, 2009 at 5:34
They are among us no more.
I think they’re still around, they just don’t hang out on political blogs in general and sure as fuck don’t show up around here.
Finch said,
May 17, 2009 at 7:18
I just wanted to correct my comment at 2:41 — I was incorrect when I said “any grocery store”, because I had forgotten there are places where it’s hard to get any fresh fruits or vegetables. Which is why vegans and vegetarians can come off as twits some times, because they forget there’s a lot of people who really don’t have access to a steady plant-based diet.
I still think the article is ridiculous, though. The people at soup kitchens have hard enough lives, is it really that terrible that they get something nice to eat? Or does the author think that if they aren’t punished with lousy food, they won’t work or something?
In conclusion, if the culture warriors come for my gnocchi, they will have to pry it from my cold dead hands.
suedehead said,
May 17, 2009 at 8:04
Really, I can’t take anyone (a foodwriter!) seriously that uses frozen fucking bay scallops in any recipe. Even poor folks won’t touch that. And rightly so.
Kip W said,
May 17, 2009 at 8:33
You can keep your “Fop” crap. I’m a “Fancy Dan” man!
Skullhunter said,
May 17, 2009 at 10:23
Thank you, Matt T., now I’m sitting here at damn near 1:30 AM trying to hold back the laughter that will most assuredly wake the other sleeping people in the room and ensure my own premature and horrific demise.
tigrismus said,
May 17, 2009 at 16:26
Gunlock takes “Steve wants our guests to have the same experience as if they were paying $30 for the meal” and turns it into “Miriam’s Kitchen … a place to get a $30 meal for free” and sniffs “[n]o wonder these places need a bailout.” Apparently it’s bank-breaking snobbery to want to feed homeless people anything other than reject doughnuts and sink lettuce.
Google responds: “Steve’s kitchen operation at Miriam’s is known for serving fresh, healthy and delicious food, created primarily from generous donations provided by local farmers and food makers.”
CaseyL said,
May 17, 2009 at 17:24
Well hit me over the head with a tire iron and throw me into a swamp, because I had the very same thought as I was walking home from the theatre.
Bilbul – I wondered about this too, until I remembered the time jump was an accidental, unpredictable side effect of the artificially created black hole – not something one can plan for, and not something one can be sure of duplicating.
(Seeing the movie more than once actually answers a few of the plot hole questions. ‘Course, repeated viewings also mean you spot a couple more.)
Trekkie said,
May 17, 2009 at 18:22
John Cho, who gets to do his sword-wielding as Hikaru Sulu, proves that if you get Korean and Japanese ancestry mixed-up liberals will consider you a bigot but it’s just fine when they themselves cast for movies.
Right…never mind that most canonical sources trend towards Sulu not being full-blooded Japanese (the Japanese language has no way to pronounce or even spell his last name).
And that Simon Pegg is an Englishman playing a Scotsman, Karl Urban is a Kiwi playing an American from the South, Bruce Greenwood is Canadian playing American, and Zoe Saldana is a Dominican playing an African.
Seriously, I think she’s just being whiny because everyone else liked the movie but her.
Brian X said,
May 17, 2009 at 18:57
Remember, this isn’t really about the *cost* of the food as such. It’s about the underclass being given a chance to be uppity by people who have the nerve to think that just because some poor brown people are being indulged in their whiny need for “food” and “survival” that they’re somehow allowed to have fancy gourmet food.
(Someone score that for me, please? I don’t often test my troll-fu.)
Actually, if anything I think this is a bit of applied Alice Waters thinking — Waters, along with other activist chefs like Jamie Oliver, is a strong believer in trying to get decent, high-quality, and creative cooking to people who might not normally be able to afford it. I know if I was a broke single mother or a borderline schizophrenic who can’t handle a job, I’d certainly rather be eating the creations of a socially conscious chef than a second-string school lunch — hell, if I was able to, I’d want to volunteer just for the career skills.
(Also, I hate the term “gourmet”. Call it artistic, call it nouvelle, call it whatever, but “gourmet” is just a lazy term for “expensive stuff I don’t see every day.” As the owner of eleventy-gazillion cookbooks on almost every conceivable subject, that term borders on an insult to me.)
SteveB said,
May 17, 2009 at 19:16
no one wants to return to the Dickensian days of giving the poor gruel laced with bugs.
Ooh, we want bugs with our gruel, do we? In my day, plain gruel was good enough, but you “foodies” can’t do without your “free-range” protein supplements. Elitists!
Realist said,
May 17, 2009 at 19:16
Julie Gunlock, a former congressional staffer, is now a stay-at-home mom
Which means she’s a clueless fuck who’s most likely never had to do without anything her entire life. Otherwise she wouldn’t be trying to make the ridiculous claim that doughnuts are “good food” when pretty much every authority on nutrition says otherwise.
What she’s really bitching about is the idea that poor people shouldn’t have to be fawningly grateful for any scraps she throws out.
tigrismus said,
May 17, 2009 at 19:27
It’s about the underclass being given a chance to be uppity by people who have the nerve to think that just because some poor brown people are being indulged in their whiny need for “food” and “survival” that they’re somehow allowed to have fancy gourmet food.
And weirdly enough, in Gunlock-land the people who want to share good food with everyone regardless of income are the snobs, and the people like her, who seem to feel the poor should be thankful for any food that doesn’t actually need to be shaved before serving, aren’t.
Brian X said,
May 17, 2009 at 20:01
tigrismus:
Exactly. While I think Alice Waters is a bit of a Donna Quijote, I absolutely admire what she’s trying to do and hope she finds a way to succeed at it. There was a time when cooking as a poor person meant making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear (sometimes almost literally). Now, at least in the US, it’s about trying to make a meal out of the canned, salty crap at Family Dollar.
These people must love Sandra Lee. She’s the ghetto Martha Stewart — giving clueless people a way to have “fancy” dinners without figuring out that what they’re eating is shit. Even Rachael Ray uses more fresh ingredients than processed…
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
May 17, 2009 at 20:43
What, we have to like Rachel Ray now?
Brian X said,
May 18, 2009 at 0:36
Nah, you don’t have to *like* her — she’s pretty annoying — just realize that her cooking isn’t quite as awful as what’s being pushed to the harried and poor in this society. Just remember you don’t have to give her a dime or even watch her if you get her recipes from foodnetwork.com.
(I do resent her though. It annoys me that the top of the TV chef heap is a modestly talented specialist in convenience cooking and not a generalist like Julia, Alton, or Emeril.)
Kia said,
May 18, 2009 at 2:19
I think the Unnamed Goose’s real name is “Duck.”
tigrismus said,
May 18, 2009 at 2:26
Ferdinand.
OneMadClown said,
May 18, 2009 at 18:27
These people must love Sandra Lee. She’s the ghetto Martha Stewart
Sandra Lee is the fucking Devil. And as such, the perfect spokescreature for Kentucky Grilled Chicken — the grilled chicken that (through some arcane and unspeakable alchemical process) manages to taste exactly the same as their fried chicken.
“I’m the Colonel’s girl!”
We could have guessed, Sandra. Now let’s get back to that Spaghetti-O and Spam Casserole that our guests will never guess wasn’t totally homemade.
Brian X said,
May 18, 2009 at 21:03
OneMadClown:
You’re not likely to get any argument from me on that. Lee’s the single worst thing on the Food Network right now.
Zuzu said,
May 19, 2009 at 1:47
It turns out that Julie Gunlock is one lazy, dishonest hack.