7
Them Apples Is Tasty, Ain’t They, Bitches?
Haaaaaaaaa-ha!!!! (via Crooks and Liars):
This month, as in every December since he took office, President Bush sent out cards with a generic end-of-the-year message, wishing 1.4 million of his close friends and supporters a happy “holiday season.”
Many people are thrilled to get a White House Christmas card, no matter what the greeting inside. But some conservative Christians are reacting as if Bush stuck coal in their stockings.
“This clearly demonstrates that the Bush administration has suffered a loss of will and that they have capitulated to the worst elements in our culture,” said William A. Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights.
Indeed. It seems that Bush has lost the resolve to win the War on Christmas.
Rodney said,
December 7, 2005 at 14:42
Hurray, we won! I hereby declare today VC (Victory over Christmas) Day! Maybe now the Salvation Army will release my friend, Doc, whom they?ve been holding in SantaLand Bay since September.
Adorable Girlfriend said,
December 7, 2005 at 14:57
Dear 1.4 Million:
I am sorry America and Catholics are being treated like the rest of us exsist.
Love,
Jewish Girl
Brad R. said,
December 7, 2005 at 15:11
Rodney- yeah, I think we really need to devise an appropriate detention policy for the War Against Christmas. We should hold illegal combatants without charge and make them listen to “Dreidel Dreidel” over and over again until they crack.
Dan Someone said,
December 7, 2005 at 15:28
Problem is, Brad, they’re already cracked.
::rimshot::
a.j. said,
December 7, 2005 at 15:55
why does george bush hate baby jesus? (o’reilly BETTER give me an answer on this one)
Jas said,
December 7, 2005 at 18:16
Extreme rendition to San Francisco or anywhere in Massechutsets? Eggnog boarding? Attaching generic holiday lights to their genitals? Sodomy with a menorah or a yule log?
All’s fair, after all…
The Rev. Schmitt. said,
December 7, 2005 at 19:59
It feels absolutely creepy to realise that these guys are so much crazier than Bush that he doesn’t even know their little war is going on.
-The Rev. Schmitt.
justin said,
December 7, 2005 at 20:35
Finally, Bush finds a war in which he can enlist!
GuinnessGuy said,
December 7, 2005 at 21:01
To be fair (to the rest of us Catholics), the so-called Catholic League is in Mel Gibson’s Dad territory for crazy and are thus not representing more than a couple percentage points of the rest of us…
Kind of sad that “The Moustache” recieves a White House Christmas card though.
Cynthia said,
December 7, 2005 at 21:51
Oh, we’ve won alright. Just this morning I was wished “Have a Happy Holidays, Ma’am!” in a very cheery tone by our mechanic. I returned the wish enthusiastically.
Next, we take over the world!
Ally said,
December 8, 2005 at 4:19
Well, now, don’t get cocky. Now that we have won we will have to obliterate any mention of the “holiday which does not exist” in the media and textbooks of our free secular nation. In fact, it seems to me that Sadly No! has, on occassion, implied the existence of the “holiday which does not exist.” Don’t make me set up an infiltration team, clean this site now!
Yours in Cthulhu — Ally
Timmah420 said,
December 8, 2005 at 6:45
Yes… This unnamed holiday must be… Unmemorized…
Send ninjas to kick Santa in the balls, unleash the flying kittens to burn the nativity scenes. It will all culminate in The Secular Jihad of 2019
Oh the humanity, oh the propaganda minotaurs.
“That night we celebrated with lustful abandon. Everyone fucked everyone else and then we molested some children. We burned pocket Bibles we had confiscated and used their pages as toilet paper. We forced pregnant prisoners to have abortions and then we ate their babies, their blood like intoxicating fire in our bellies. We fucked apes with human genitals we had specially grown and frozen cryogenically because we are descended from them. We lubricated religious statuary and icons and inserted them into the vaginas of elephants, then we chiseled holes into them and fucked those too. “
gus said,
December 8, 2005 at 10:05
Easter better be watching it’s ass now, it’s next.
D. Sidhe said,
December 8, 2005 at 15:50
May I propose a War on Epiphany? Or is that already dead.
Bazz said,
December 8, 2005 at 20:14
Hey Shrove Tuesday, you’re goin’ down!!!
FlipYrWhig said,
December 8, 2005 at 23:34
I’m opening a big can of Michaelmas whup-ass.