May
11
11
‘Kool-Aid Is Refreshing’ Says Large Red Pitcher
Donald Lambro, Washington Times:
Anti-tax crusade to storm Capitol:
Grassroots ‘tea parties’ build strength
- “This spontaneous movement has no leaders,” movement leaders said.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:00
“Bitches be trippin’,” says uncomprehending man.
Duros62 said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:04
The ocean is slightly damp. More at 11.
gocart mozart said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:04
I don’t want to click the link Gavin. I’ll just assume that 10,000 dancing badgers are planning on storming the capital.
WereBear said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:05
Of late, I am utterly credulous when it comes to the Right Wing.
No matter how stupid the story, I discover it’s true.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:07
Of late, I am utterly credulous when it comes to the Right Wing.
No matter how stupid the story, I discover it’s true.
Man, I made that decision sometime in 2006. It’s been smooth sailing since. Hell, with this place, I’m usually two or three weeks ahead of the Daily Show curve of “holy shit, did you see what the right-wing whackos are up to now?”
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:08
It’s even more special that they’re using that ever-so-cool word “crusade.”
Tim Tebow said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:09
I attended a Tea Party and it was Grass Roots, unlike loony libs who only attend protests for ANSWER and ACORN, who are liberal astroturf programs.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:10
Are there any preliminary casualty estimates yet?
The Malfunctioning Glenn Reynolds Robot said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:12
Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots! Heh. Grassroots!
little bo-peep said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:13
“Are there any preliminary casualty estimates yet?”
Would you want to be hit in the face by someone swinging a loaded teabag?
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:13
So going by the track record of previous crusades, this one is likely to
[a] stop half-way to loot a nominally-friendly but more accessible target;
[b] stoop to cannibalism when food runs low;
[c] get stuck along the way for the leaders to wrangle while plague decimates the masses; or
[d] if the masses are children and peasants, to sell themselves into slavery by accepting the offer of a ride from the wrong galley-owners.
gocart mozart said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:14
“Are there any preliminary casualty estimates yet?”
Would you want to be hit in the face by someone swinging a loaded teabag?
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:14
Also,
I EXPECT TREBUCHETS.
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:16
I attended a Tea Party and it was Grass Roots,
Oh, you crazy kids these days and your slang. so that’s what they call it!
J— said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:19
Organizers say rallies are planned here and around the nation…on Sept. 12, when Congress is expected to be in the midst of debate over Mr. Obama’s plans on health care, energy and global warming; and on Oct. 2, when supporters expect that debate to be continuing.
Now there’s a good reason to pick dates. Various debates will be underway on the first date, and they will still be going on on the second.
Actually, October 2 is the anniversary of the Tlatelolco Massacre, which would be central to their point if they had one.
Not grassroots, rhizomes! They’re everywhere!
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:20
Leaders of the Tax Day rallies that drew an estimated 600,000 people in nearly 600 cities and towns say the seemingly spontaneous local protests have grown into a more muscular movement
The leaders say the leaderless movement….their plans include an unplanned…. local protests are sweeping the nation….
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:20
Would you want to be hit in the face by someone swinging a loaded teabag?
Some people pay good money for these things, you know.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:20
Grass Roots: Where while attending a ‘Tea Party’, one dyes the pubic hairs on one’s testicles green prior to dipping.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:21
Some people also fail to close tags properly.
J— said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:22
I am reminded of Treviño Strategies and Media, Inc.
The Cat said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:22
Yeah, well, those Constantinoplean bitches had it coming. Don’t mess with Venice!
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:23
TeaParty advocates say their widely popular ranks will be performing spontaenous acts of protest, including breathing, strolling on sidewalks, and holding “sit-in” lunch protests at sidewalk cafes. “It will be obvious that most Americans share our views,” said one of the leaders of the leaderless movement. “Actions speak louder than words.”
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:24
Actually, October 2 is the anniversary of the Tlatelolco Massacre, which would be central to their point if they had one.
That would warrant them actually caring about how a foreign government actually oppressed and slaughtered a group of protesters, instead of America’s “let them protest, so long as they fear” policy.
(wait, I may be confusing America with Grand Moff Tarkin.)
Maybe they can schedule one for the anniversary of the Tienanmen Square Massacre, just to whinge about their taxes not going up some more.
I’m sure there’s other anniversaries they could fuck up as well.
J— said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:27
Watch out, Cyprus, here comes the Teabaggers Crusade, ready to set up shop on your beaches and hills.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:31
So, which of us is to inform the Spanish-Language media of the proposed pro-immigration rallies scheduled for September 12?
gocart mozart said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:32
What does all this have to do with the price of teabaging Cheney?
J— said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:36
Here’s the tentative agenda for the 9/12 activities. “Time to explore Washington” looks like fun. Note the sponsors listed on the left.
Rusty Shackleford said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:38
For a leaderless movement they certainly have a lot of sponsors.
commie atheist said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:38
Alternate shorter: Tea Party organizers are shocked, stunned and amazed at the massive, totally spontaneous, grassroots turnout of between 100,000 – 600,000 people nationwide that their astroturf organizations helped, er, turn out.
commie atheist said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:40
Here’s the tentative agenda for the 9/12 activities. “Time to explore Washington” looks like fun. Note the sponsors listed on the left.
Appropriately, the Club for Growth logo appears to have an erection.
J— said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:40
For a leaderless movement they certainly have a lot of sponsors.
And coordinators.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:41
Note the sponsors listed on the left.
The sponsors’ list on the left was put there by the librul MSM conspiracy to obscure the grassrot’s (sic- the typo seems more appropriate than the word originally intended) nature of the teabagging parties.
commie atheist said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:42
The Club for Growth: Overcompensating? What do you mean by that?
http://www.clubforgrowth.org/
tigrismus said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:44
[b] stoop to cannibalism when food runs low;
Those HoverRounds don’t go fast enough to catch anyone healthy, but I guess they’re already used to a high-fat diet.
commie atheist said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:44
Fear them, for they have lots of time on their hands:
Don Hensarling
May 5, 2009 • 11:24 am
What can I do to help?
I have spent countless hours in the past 10 days to two weeks going to dozens of websites and posting this event into their calendars and starting forums and blogs about it, but I don’t know if that is enough.
I really want to have made a difference in this movement. I am retired and have all the time necessary to help and to travel for the movement. I belong to almost every group out there in the hopes of helping.
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:45
For a leaderless movement they certainly have a lot of sponsors.
And coordinators.
The technical term would be Grass-grub.
Basic Math said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:47
Tea Party organizers are shocked, stunned and amazed at the massive, totally spontaneous, grassroots turnout of between 100,000 – 600,000 people nationwide that their astroturf organizations helped, er, turn out.
And, as I may have mentioned before, even if you grant them 800,000 attendees, as a percentage of the approximately 303,824,640 people in the United States, that would be about two-hundred and sixty-three hundredths of one percent (0.263%).
OMG REVOLUTION!111!!!11!
SomeNYGuy said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:48
The sponsors’ list on the left was put there by the librul MSM conspiracy to obscure the grassrot’s (sic- the typo seems more appropriate than the word originally intended) nature of the teabagging parties.
The grass rots from the head.
commie atheist said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:49
Those clever folks at the 9/12 site are attempting to attract people of color by co-opting the black power fist. Compare and contrast:
http://www.irr.org.uk/2007/october/ha000029.html
http://912dc.org/about/event-coordinators/
Righteous Bubba said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:50
Do you not get storming? They’re going to storm!
Or, to put it another way, they’re going to tempest. And this involves tea. Which reminds me of pot, dontcha know…
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:51
The technical term would be Grass-grub.
Yeah, pale, flabby, generally despised…
commie atheist said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:51
Teabaggers appropriate black power symbol to attract people of color:
http://www.irr.org.uk/2007/october/ha000029.html
http://912dc.org/about/event-coordinators/
FYWP, also.
J— said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:52
tempest
Teabaggers—Ariel or Caliban?
David said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:53
Swine flu pandemic thwarted by authorities. Tea Partiers plan new attack.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:53
RB:
Well, could be worse, they could be making mountains out of mohels.
Snorghagen said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:54
Grover Norquist is amazed and impressed.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:55
Do you not get storming? They’re going to storm!
We all know how well storm imagery is working for them.
WOLVERINES!!!!!!1!!!HAILSTONES!!!11!!commie atheist said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:55
Do you not get storming? They’re going to storm!
There’s a storm gathering. The clouds are dark. And the winds are strong. And I am afraid.
commie atheist said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:56
Damn you to hell, BBBB! If not for my fat little fingers…
Pere Ubu said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:57
[b] stoop to cannibalism when food runs low
Dibs on the YouTube footage.
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:58
Yeah, pale, flabby, generally despised…
Oddly enough, when the population of grass-grubs among the grassroots grows sufficiently dense, they actually fight. One grass-grub’s burrow meets up with another one, and then they start ripping into each other’s pale flabby skin with their claws.
Did I mention that I used to be a farm-boy?
Pere Ubu said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:58
Hail Hail Hailstone!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:58
Damn you to hell, BBBB! If not for my fat little fingers…
You’re just jealous of my polydactyly.
commie atheist said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:58
Grover Norquist is amazed and impressed.
Yes, but it takes a Dick Armey to accomodate all that teabagging.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:59
Donald Lambro, Washington Times:
Anti-tax crusade to storm Capitol:
Moonie Times manages to avoid using the word teabag.
~
commie atheist said,
May 12, 2009 at 0:59
You’re just jealous of my polydactyly.
I thought they were extinct.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:02
I thought they were extinct.
Every once in a while, one trashes Tokyo.
commie atheist said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:03
And I’ve already posted this twice but WordPress ate both, so apologies if it appears again -
Teaparty Astroturf group appropriates Black Power symbol to appeal to peopleof color:
http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sociopolitica/codex_magica/images/codex_181.jpg
http://912dc.org/about/event-coordinators/
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:06
Google reckons that “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” is written in polydactyl form.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:07
Oddly enough, when the population of grass-grubs among the grassroots grows sufficiently dense, they actually fight.
D’jever put two of them in a bucket, then shake it to see if you could force a fight?
Here in the glorious librul paradise, eastern province, happy little mustiloids tend to dig them up before they take over.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:14
Higgledy piggledy
Newspaper taxis appear on the shore
Just to take you away
Climb in the back with your
Head in the clouds and you’re gone
Arky4That1 said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:14
Anti-tax crusade unaware of the type of heat the Capitol police are packing. Ignorance abounds of their short tempers and zero tolerance approach to fucking around. Also.
I wouldn’t look at those guys cross eyed if I were standing behind the Washington Monument.
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:16
Plus, the folks we saw on April 15th don’t really look like they’re in shape enough to do any storming. More like storming in their lawn chairs, if you ask me.
Fred E. Ceancis said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:17
and the reply-
Fuck me, the Obama campaign didn’t even give volunteers group rates on hotel rooms. They’ve got this grassroots thing dialed.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:21
Anti-tax crusade unaware of the type of heat the Capitol police are packing.
Especially in light of the fact that a lot of these teabaggers seem to be gun-totin’ Alex Jones acolytes. I pity the fools who buy into the whole “effete, feminized urban librul” stereotype.
The Tragically Flip said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:25
Also, the domain name was registered by Freedom Works. That’s typical of grass roots organizing, that your events are organized by former House majority leaders of a political party. If it was any more grassrooty someone might have to call a groundskeeper.
noen said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:26
“Nearly a month after the [teabagging] protestsstunned the traditional conservative community by their sheer size.”
“Early signals suggest that a large political head of steam is building.”
“I’m not sure Republicans have learned how to tap into this group yet,”
Well if there is one thing a republican can do, it’s tap someone.
The Cat said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:29
group rates on hotel rooms
Do the teabaggers realize that they’ll be pumping tourist dollars into loony liberal lefty blackety black DC?
Righteous Bubba said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:32
Perhaps the teabaggers will do more room-sharing than the average tourists.
Candy said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:35
If I had to pick one word to sum up the state of the entire right wing, that word would be “clueless.” Could they possibly be more so? I mean, most of them are vicious, many are nuts, the vast majority are stupid, but every single damned one of them, from Steele on down – utterly clueless.
I propose a new republican slogan: Clueless Four Decades.
tempest
Teabaggers—Ariel or Caliban?
I bardly think this type of thing is called for.
Arky4That1 said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:36
See: Tension Convention.
Yeesh. Between that and the “DC is all brown scary gang bangers,” I may stay home. I don’t want to see any jackass learn the hard way that yes, law enforcement officials come in all hues, yes, even the brown ones are allowed to carry guns and yes, they’ll blow your arse into the next county.
Of course, watching tourists from East Bugshagger Idaho stare in horror at a member of Metro’s police department is always a laff riot … Hmmm.
tigrismus said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:40
Do the teabaggers realize that they’ll be pumping tourist dollars into loony liberal lefty blackety black DC?
They’ll all stay in Fall’s Church or Manassas or some place “safe”. The only thing they’ll leave in DC is trash and a startling volume of POOP.
MzNicky said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:42
Shirley our Sadlies are not going to let this K-Loadery
be the sort of nonsense up with which they will, unsnarkingly, put?
http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=MmI1NGFlMTQ0M2FjNDQyYWY3ODIxYTkzN2RiNTY2OTA=
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:42
Candy said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:35
If I had to pick one word to sum up the state of the entire right wing, that word would be “clueless.” Could they possibly be more so? I mean, most of them are vicious, many are nuts, the vast majority are stupid, but every single damned one of them, from Steele on down – utterly clueless.
===========================================================
The GOP is run for the benefit of a small group of billionaires who fund the whole deal. Until they finally killed the goose that pooped the golden eggs, they had done a fine job using the Republican party to hoover money out of everyone else’s pockets and into their own.
Of course, just mentioning this makes you (or in this case, me) a dirty commie socialist class warrior.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:45
They’ll all stay in Fall’s Church or Manassas or some place “safe”.
But Manassas has a lot of scary brown people living in it.
a startling volume of POOP
There’s a real good pupuseria in Manassas. At one time, the municipalities of Manassas and Dumphries wanted to merge in order to eliminate redundancies in county services. The proposed name of the new municipality was “Dumasses”.
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:46
Well, they managed to get 300,000 of them to come out nation-wide in April – I think 300,000 is Nate Silver’s number, although if you really want to be charitable and call it 600,000 I won’t quarrel.
And they got that many to come out because they were coming out into their own neighborhoods and cities – I think my small city had about 100 who gave a couple hours each to it.
So how do you think they’re gonna do getting anything like that number to buy plane tickets, pay for hotels/motels to “storm the Capitol”, especially since they can’t even figure out what date it is and what they’re actually going to do. September is a long time away – they’re attention span is awfully short.
I’m sure, given that they’re “leaderless” and “spontaneous” and all, they will have learned their lesson about getting permits? How’d that teabag delivery work out in DC – after they hauled them up to the conference room?
Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:47
Oooh, 9.12 is within a few days of Baby –’s due date. I don’t suppose I’ll manage to bring my little tax deduction into the world on the day of their protest? That would make me terribly happy.
Candy said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:48
ittdgy – yeah, I know that, I was more speaking of teh actual Republicans, if you will. I consider the puppet masters to belong to their own group. I don’t believe they have any actual beliefs except for a belief that they have a inherent right to rule the sheeple.
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:48
Somehow Dick Cheney, who continues to stand athwart unseriousness yelling “Stop
Can we stop with the “standing athwart”edness, already?
Righteous Bubba said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:51
Everyone loves a party-pooper.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:52
Can we stop with the “standing athwart”edness, already?
Hey, we’re talking about K-Lo, piss-poor writing is a feature, not a bug.
PeeJ said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:55
Teabaggers—Ariel or Caliban?
The Obama socialist tax policies won’t let them Prospero.
tigrismus said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:55
Somehow Dick Cheney, who continues to stand athwart unseriousness yelling “Stop,”
SOMEone is hoping for a ‘bagging.
Candy said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:58
Somehow Dick Cheney, who continues to stand athwart unseriousness yelling “Stop,”
SOMEone is hoping for a ‘bagging.
And the already hideous mental picture grows worse!
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 1:58
Athwart, son of Æthelwulf.
Knights in White Satin said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:00
I think a lot of the protesters counted were children. Consider, if you will, this: a Wingnut couple arrive at the tea-protest with their 7 children ranging in age from 1 month to 7 years. All 7 children are counted as true protesters. Multiply this by, oh say, 22,007 people:= 154,049 persons. Its easy when you know how.
Ayn Rand said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:01
America’s abundance was created not by public sacrifices to the common good, but by the productive genius of free men who pursued their own personal interests and the making of their own private fortunes. They did not starve the people to pay for America’s industrialization. They gave the people better jobs, higher wages, and cheaper goods with every new machine they invented, with every scientific discovery or technological advance- and thus the whole country was moving forward and profiting, not suffering, every step of the way.
J— said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:01
Can we stop with the “standing athwart”edness, already?
Let us replace it with “standing on the verge of ___ .” Of course, in the case of Cheney and other teabagger types, it is highly unlikely the blank will be filled with “getting it on.”
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:02
SOMEone is hoping for a ‘bagging.
Not from Cheney.
Lesley said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:04
Coming soon to a Whitehouse near you, more teabag waste the secret service will have to sort through before janitors can toss it in the trash.
Knights in White Satin said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:05
Oops, I forgot to count the parents, and possible baby-sitters, tho the wimmin-folks usually do all that stuff. that comes to 176,056. Then of course you triple, no quadtriple, not octotriple that amount, and there you go: a million teabaggin’ protestors against something though they don’t know or care *what*.
Righteous Bubba said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:06
I didn’t notice Michael Steele trashing Romney and the base in one go so apologies if others have seen this.
PeeJ said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:09
I clicked through and read the Moonie Times story. Saw this:
But there was no other mention of Fox News.
Snorghagen said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:10
a startling volume of POOP
Pretty much what you’d expect from a spontaneous, muscular movement that’s been building up a large head of steam.
PeeJ said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:16
That’s funny. As in ha ha funny. The caller sed
the New York Times, who you’ve mentioned a couple times, alright, has co-opted our primaries by backing John McCain.
I hadn’t seen that one before. The liberal NYT, in order to defeat Romney who could have beaten Obama, backed McCain as an act of sabotage to ensure Obama would win? Brilliant! Whirling, spinning whirling their little fevered brains never stop whirling!
Johnny Coelacanth said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:17
Basic math. Ur doin’ it wrong.
800,000 / 303,824,640 = 0.00263309783
That’s a tetch over two thousandths of one percent.
Shecky McTeabagg said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:19
so they want to schedule another tax protest, after the April 15 one failed, in September, when everyone has already seen their tax cut in effect for six months, when college and pro football clog up every weekend, when the economy might be showing signs of recovery, when liberals have four months to belittle and research the wingtard astroturf organizations. Oh yeah, this is totally going to happen !!! This is so not full of horses**t !!!
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:19
Let us replace it with “standing on the verge of ___ .”
Hey you kids! Get offa my verge!.
Gay Marriage Today, Triad Marriage Tomorrow! said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:19
It’s great to see the progressive community making progress on gay marriage, but what about triad marriage? Why hasn’t anyone addressed this civil rights issue?
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:19
What position does one actually assume to “stand athwart”? Do you stand in front of something, like a door, as if to block access? Or do you stand on top of something. Or is “athwart” where you bridge a gap in a barrier?
How does one stand athwart of “unseriousness”? And if you yell “Stop” at unseriousness, how can you tell if it obeys?
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:23
The liberal NYT, in order to defeat Romney who could have beaten Obama, backed McCain as an act of sabotage to ensure Obama would win?
Oh, I’m way too lazy to look it up, but didn’t the NYT endorse Hillary in the Dem primary? So we’re saying that the evil and prescient NYTimes backed McCain to defeat Romney, and covered its tracks by backing Hillary?
Mwaaahhhahhhahhah! Is there no end to evil?
Gay Marriage Today, Clomp Clang Crash said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:23
The fact is, libs, address my post!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:24
Well you certainly get sit down comfortably if you got athwarts.
Gay Marriage Today, Triad Marriage Tomorrow! said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:24
People have the right to marry who they want, and if three people get married, who are YOU to stop their choice?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:24
The male organ of copulation in certain invertebrates.
Oh, you mean PENIS!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:26
Can’t, get.
J— said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:26
Hey you kids! Get offa my verge!
¡La verga!
Knights in White Satin said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:26
PJ: “Brilliant! Whirling, spinning whirling…” Like a wheel-within-a wheel or a spiral-within-a double-helix, or circle-within-a-ring….OR an ellipsis within an ellipse…
…i’m getting dizzy.
Candy said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:27
How about “bestride?” As in, “He doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus!”
That’s sort of what I picture when I hear athwart. I don’t think that’s right, though. I think there is this gazoogle thing I could consult . . .
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:27
What position does one actually assume to “stand athwart”?
First of all, one must assume a wide stance.
Gay Triad Breakfast said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:27
Butter my toast!
tigrismus said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:28
address my post!
Wrong ZIP, long trip
No ZIP, slow trip
HTH!
Gay Marriage Today, Triad Marriage Tomorrow! said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:28
Why shouldn’t there be Triad Marriage? Marriage is a right!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:31
HTH!
Hand-to-hand?
Johnny Coelacanth said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:31
People have the right to marry who they want, and if three people get married, who are YOU to stop their choice?
Good question. Triads are hard to pull off, but if three consenting adults want to make that commitment to each other, more power to them. Let the state issue them a marriage license. See if I give a fuck.
Candy said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:31
Photographers support the Tripod Marriage!
We can’t address the trolls post, because he can’t be said to properly have a post. He just has a teensy-weensy verge.
Bobby Burster said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:31
The tea parties “…drew an estimated 600,000 people in nearly 600 cities and towns…”
‘Estimated’ and ‘nearly’: code words for ‘nowhere near’ and ‘a few’.
Seriously, a thousand people showed up to protest in 600 human settlements? The anti-war protests didn’t attract that many people, as I recall.
Djur said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:32
“Triad Marriage” blah blah. I’m personally not opposed to it, but many of the privileges given to married partners only make sense between two partners. Beyond that, I’m perfectly willing to call your bluff. Let consenting adults make their own arrangements as they will.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:33
I too believe in Triad Marriage! The Black Lotus Triad, the Four Dragons Triad, and many others deserve the right to marry as they wish.
Tong marriage, however, is disgusting and deviant.
Knights in White Satin said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:34
Gay Marriage Today, Triad Marriage Tomorrow!:
My Answer: Why not, indeed? Polygamy is common in teh BIBLE Uknow!
I rather llike Heinlein’s group marriages, tho his later books went just a little overboard. But then, he’d had brain surgery. No one is at their best right after brain surgery. A concussion or fracture, that’s different. I speak from experience.
Gay Marriage Today, Triad Marriage Tomorrow! said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:34
“, but many of the privileges given to married partners only make sense between two partners. ”
Who are YOU to decide the definition of marriage? Bigot.
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:35
Hogarth informed us that the nine stages of unseriousness go like this:
A Absolute Gravity –
B Against Absolute Gravity –
C Partial Gravity –
D Comparative Gravity –
E Horizontal, Or Good Sence –
F Wit –
G Comparative Levity, Or Coxcomb –
H Partial Levity, Or Pert Fool
I Absolute Levity, Or Stark Fool.
I have no idea where “Standing athwart” is on this scale.
That’s me at G.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:35
And don’t even get me started on Camorra marriage!
PeeJ said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:36
Why shouldn’t there be Triad Marriage?
There will be. But Triad lives in the 30th Century so there’s plenty of time to make it happen.
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:37
Ah, see, a marriage is a contract and legally a contract is between two parties. So if you want to have a three-way, someone’s got to be a subcontractor.
J— said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:39
The ‘Ndrangheta deserve to get married too!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:39
Smut, your fount of jpgs. seems to be inexhaustible. Surely your newsletter is profusely illustrated.
And, troll, if you’re going to steal my nym, as you did two threads ago, please have a modicum of decency and show a little
vergeverve in your comments.Johnny Coelacanth said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:40
“Who are YOU to decide the definition of marriage? Bigot.”
I suspect that our troll’s micropenis got hard as a rock when he wrote that.
Knights in White Satin said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:40
Triad! At last, a troll worth arguing with. But is s/he real or fake? How can one tell?
St. Jesus VI: The False Prophet said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:41
That’s awfully weak stuff, troll. I apologize to everyone for feeding the troll, but I just wanted to point out that it’s not feasible to grant, say, next of kin status or power of attorney to two different people in an equitable manner. I’d like to see the privileges of marriage either removed or freed up to be assigned to others at one’s discretion, and let the polyamorists handle the issues themselves. But the legal framework of marriage currently assumes two partners — in a way that it does not assume that the partners are of different sexes.
Done trollfeeding.
Guillaume Apollinaire said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:41
¡La verga!
Stand athwart mes Onze Mille Verges!
Gay Marriage Today, Triad Marriage Tomorrow! said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:44
Also, I find it disgusting that polygamy is not taught in our children’s public schools as an acceptable lifestyle choice. They’re encouraging monogamist behavior.
Who’s with me?
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:47
The guys the Mormons kicked out when they wanted to look respectable, probably.
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:50
your fount of jpgs. seems to be inexhaustible.
All praise Google Image!
Here’s a larger version.
Pere Ubu said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:50
What about tirapheg marriage, eh?
Rusty Shackleford said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:51
I rate for pentad marriage!
Pere Ubu said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:54
Pentapod marriage!
tigrismus said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:57
Hand-to-hand?
“Hope that helps,” but either way.
That’s me at G.
Not a bad pair of stems for a
rabbitCoxcomb.tigrismus said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:59
Pentapod marriage!
Now there’s someone who could do some athwart-standing!
PeeJ said,
May 12, 2009 at 2:59
Who’s with me?
If it’s too dark in there for you to figure that out, we can’t help you.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:01
THIS is the kind of trolling I can believe in.
~
Pere Ubu said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:10
Now there’s someone who could do some athwart-standing!
As well as some serious tea-bagging!
Triad Weddings said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:11
w00t!
Triad Weddings said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:12
w00t!
FYWP…also!
Shecky McTeabagg said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:19
hey there, douchenozzle troll, the attorney general at utah.gov has an informational booklet you can print in your grubby basement that explains why polygamy is not protected like monogamy. he’s an elected republican too. so take your attempt at threadjacking and cram it up your cheeto exit.
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:19
Pentapod marriage!
I can’t be arsed skimming through ‘Mountains of Madness’ to see what Lovecraft wrote about marital arrangements among the Elder Ones.
Pere Ubu said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:26
marital arrangements among the Elder Ones
They put the “ick” in ichor.
Johnny Pez said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:31
Are the trolls getting stupider over time, or have they always been this stupid and my failing memory has mercifully deprived me of the evidence?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:32
Johnny Pez said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:31
Are the trolls getting stupider over time, or have they always been this stupid and my failing memory has mercifully deprived me of the evidence?
==========================================================
All
One
D00d.
(Grand Unitary Troll Theory)
~
Joe Max said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:35
Ménage à cinq.
Johnny Pez said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:36
Consider my question suitably modified.
Gay Marriage Today, Triad Marriage Tomorrow! said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:39
Of course he’s a Republican, Shecky! And we’ll defeat them in 2010 and 2012 when the Democrats become a REAL progressive party and put triad marriage in their platform!
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:41
Ménage abbatoir.
Sammy said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:44
St. Trotsky, I was going to try a similar joke with a clumsy reference to Lethal Weapon 4, but I think you pulled it off better.
Jennifer said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:48
ittdgy – yeah, I know that, I was more speaking of teh actual Republicans, if you will. I consider the puppet masters to belong to their own group. I don’t believe they have any actual beliefs except for a belief that they have a inherent right to rule the sheeple.
I’ve always described the Republican Party as an organized crime syndicate in the upper echelons, and a cult in the lower ones.
In other words, it’s a floor wax and a dessert topping.
Mr. Bimmler, from Minehead being born said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:53
Ja, ja, mein Sadly Ho chaps, das triad marriage is wunderbar… ful… so. Don’t you know old chap I was head of Gestapo for ten years. Five years! No, no, nein, I was not head of Gestapo at all…I make joke.
Jennifer said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:56
Let us replace it with “standing on the verge of ___ .”
10. Standing on the verge of gettin’ it on.
Apologies for the shitty HTML. FY,WP.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 12, 2009 at 3:56
In that case, the answer is yes.
The Cat said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:02
But one can be sure that there were no giant gay albino penguins.
The Cat said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:03
Or maybe there were, and that was the unspeakable horror at the end.
The Fool said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:16
Cool a DIY right wing movement. We all know how well that worked out for the punkers. It led to a bunch of shitty music with very little staying power. But it was a real hit in the world of fashion!
I’m sure the Republican teabagging experience will be similar.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:16
Or maybe there were, and that was the unspeakable horror at the end.
It was just Grover.
Adam said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:17
Hang on now there, Rise of Teh Triad. Slow down. Let’s worry about getting you just one potentially interested mate before you start up with the fantasies about teh polygamies.
(Yoooooouuuu suuuuuccck.)
Finch said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:22
You know, the National Organization for Marriage and their ilk always wail that gay marriage is bad for The Children (TM) because it they need both a male and female role model to grow up well adjusted, and those terrible gays and lesbians are denying kids the right to have both a mother and a father, blah blah blah…
So one could argue polygamy would actually be BETTER than monogamy, because it would give children multiple male and female role models to look up to. It takes a village to raise a child, as they say. So same-sex marriage, according to this reasoning, should be banned, but polygamy should be legalized. Because, you see, it’s all about what’s best for The Children (TM).
Also, a lot of people opposed to same-sex marriage claim they’re totally fine with civil unions (which, they claim, grant all the same legal rights as marriage) for gays and lesbians, and that it’s just calling it marriage that bothers them. I would like one of them to explain to me why same-sex civil unions won’t lead to polygamy, but same-sex marriage will.
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:23
I agree. I think he might be over-reaching, there. First work on a one-night stand.
The Fool said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:23
I like the triad marriage idea that was explored so artfully by David Crosby in the song of the same name. But in fact, if you could have triad marriage then there is no reason why you couldn’t have n-tuple marriages of arbitrarily high n. Then, just to prove what a humanitarian I am, I would offer to marry all the Sadlynaughts and then you could all be on my health insurance. Universal healthcare for all Sadlynaughts!
We can work out the details of the prima noctis arrangment later. TANSTAAFL, my stoopid punk bitch spouses!
Gay Marriage Today, Triad Marriage Tomorrow! said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:26
A “civil union” isn’t REAL equality.
We need marriage equality for GBLTs AND PPGMs (Polygynists, Polyandrists,and other Group Marriers).
PPGM equality NOW!
SomeNYGuy said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:29
Yes, K-Lo could just as easily (and more evocatively) written, “Somehow Dick Cheney, who continues to assume a wide stance…”
Like the circles that you find,
In the windmills of your mind…. [/Michel Legrand]
Righteous Bubba said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:30
I thought I had him bricked up in there, but no.
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:31
I bet he thought a while about this Triad thing, chuckling to himself about how he was really going to stump the libs with that one!! Such a clever one!
SomeNYGuy said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:35
Isn’t Grover already in a triad with John Fund and that fruity 14-year-old vanz from CPAC?
Triad Married said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:36
I married my dildo AND my wetsuit!
Grover said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:37
For the love of God, Montresor!
Pere Ubu said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:38
“You see, Billy, when a man and a flumph love each other very much-”
gocart mozart said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:54
“We need marriage equality for GBLTs AND PPGMs (Polygynists, Polyandrists,and other Group Marriers).
PPGM equality NOW!”
What about Pollyanna Marriage? Why is everybody so down on Pollyanna marriage?
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:55
“You see, Billy, when a man and a Cissaldan* love each other very much-”
Fecksed.
* The “most perfect fucks in the universe”, according to Harlan Ellison, and surely he would know.
islmfaoscist said,
May 12, 2009 at 4:55
I’ve just been informed that a shadowy group of diabolical elite chai-sipping leftists plans to disrupt the latest teabagging ceremonies by raining scores of large burlap sacks filled with ginger, cardomom pods, nutmeg, cinnamon, and orange zest delivered by trebuchet.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:00
If these diabolicals have paypal, I’d be happy to donate to the cause.
gocart mozart said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:12
What is up with all the tea drinking on the right these days huh? Real men drink coffee. Are they gonna bring buttered scones and almond biscotti also. How very European! How very English! This is all fagotry of the most faggoty-fag-fag sort and I will stand athwart it. Who is with me on this?
gocart mozart said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:16
It occurs to me that you can light up a fag on the streets of London any time you bloody well like, but try doing that just once in San Francisco and everyone gets all bent out of shape. What’s up with that?
SomeNYGuy said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:20
This is all fagotry of the most faggoty-fag-fag sort and I will stand athwart it. Who is with me on this?
Standing athwart a faggot? I’m way out of practice, but the memories are fond ones.
Nom de Plume said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:21
It occurs to me that you can light up a fag
You just reminded me of an English friend I had in college, who was in the habit of accosting me in very public places (at a rural American college) and hollering, “Hey mate, got a fag?”. I’m sure I looked very funny as I made elaborate “shut the fuck up” gestures at him.
The Kid from Kounty Meath said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:27
Chinese gangsters have every right to get married.
But seriously, Sir Troll of Deep-in-the-Closet, you’re supposed to go straight to pedophilia and bestiality, or any other things you secretly go for. If you want the exact reasons you’re a moron, I defer to 2:41, which, mysteriously, you have yet to address.
gocart mozart said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:32
Next it will be boxturtlephelia and then sex with Embryonic-Americans one second after fertilization.
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:41
So we managed to go from The Mountains of Madness, to There’s A Monster At The End Of This Book, to the Cask of Amontillado…
God, I love Sadly, No sometimes.
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:45
“It was the beating of the old man’s heart. It increased my fury as the beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage. ”
In what regard? Also. Too.
St. The Tragically Flip said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:45
Clearly we need to ban all marriage to halt our decent down this horribly sticky slope (made all the more slippery by all the lube you fags use). Straight marriage was clearly the thin end of the wedge, and there is no end in sight.
We must return to God’s plan for us, which was to run around unmarried and naked in a garden, and screw women cloned from us endlessly without consequence or remorse.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:45
I’m pretty sure there was some Green Eggs and Ham in there somewhere, St. Trotsky.
There always is.
Gary Ruppert said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:46
The fact is, villains! Dissemble no more! I admit the deed! Tear up the floorboards! It is the beating of my hideous tweets!
islmfaoscist said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:46
gocart mozart said,
Although proper American fertilization is between a single sperm and oocyte, some perverts are insisting on special rights due to their fetish for monozygotism, or same-sex twinning.
Nom de Plume said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:47
It is the beating of my hideous tweets!
I’m pretty sure you meant “bleating”, but I’ll let it go for now.
islmfaoscist said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:48
Furthermore, vegan mothers are five times less likely to have same-sex twins than those who eat animal products. Which only further illustrates my point. As it were.
Gay Marriage Today, Triffid Marriage Tomorrow! said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:55
Seriously, who could possibly stop us?
St. Trotsky, Pope-in-Avignon said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:57
Well, we’ll all be blind tomorrow, so triffids could just sneak in. Who’d know?
Triad Married said,
May 12, 2009 at 5:59
Real men lube with Boy Butter.
islmfaoscist said,
May 12, 2009 at 6:05
Grassroots ‘tea parties’ build strength
Note to editor: Although marihuana (‘grass’ or ‘tea’) parties are indeed resurgent among today’s delinquent youths, I am reliably informed that in the hippity-hop lexicon of modern young whippersnappers the appertinent accoutrements are more likely to be denoted contemporaneously as ‘dank’, ‘chronic’, or ‘teh stikcy-ikcy’.
Finch said,
May 12, 2009 at 6:07
Trivet marriage tomorrow! Because one of the partners is really hot.
g said,
May 12, 2009 at 6:11
Triffids or tribbles? It’s only a few letters difference.
Snorghagen said,
May 12, 2009 at 6:45
At first I thought that read ‘virgin mothers’.
And what about Tri-State Dragway marriages? Address that post, Maoist trisexual hooligans.
Smut Clyde said,
May 12, 2009 at 6:46
10,000 dancing badgers are planning on storming the capital.
Key plot twist from an unwritten Jack Vance novel.
islmfaoscist said,
May 12, 2009 at 6:51
Jane Curtin: 10,000 nuns and orphans? What’s so bad about that?
John Belushi: They were all eaten by rats!
owlbear1 said,
May 12, 2009 at 7:17
You tea-baggers really need to hit the Flat-taxers up for bar-b-que and fireworks for these little “tax freedom” shindigs.
Make ‘em earn your email address.
M. Bouffant said,
May 12, 2009 at 7:23
Say, what does anyone think the chances are of loser troll ever trolling on the topic, instead of just driving by w/ its stupid talking points/Twits™?
justme said,
May 12, 2009 at 7:25
Unless, of course, Jimmy got a little bit of bitch in him.
The bitch in him, outweighs the Jim.
Club For Growth Motto Contest said,
May 12, 2009 at 7:59
Club For Growth: Erecting A New America
Club For Growth: Hard On Big Government
Club For Growth: The Big Tent Pole
Club For Growth: ExtenZe American Prosperity
Schlubs for Growth Mantra said,
May 12, 2009 at 8:11
Club for Growth: Tax Free Raping and Pillaging! Oh Yeah!
Club For Growth Motto Contest said,
May 12, 2009 at 8:19
Club For Growth: Clear Cutting America’s Wood
Club For Growth: Stiff Global Competition
Club For Growth Motto Contest said,
May 12, 2009 at 8:27
Club For Growth: The Pursuit Of Global Economic Penetration
Club For Growth: Staffing American Leadership
Club For Growth Motto Contest said,
May 12, 2009 at 8:28
Is this thing on? :)
M. Bouffant said,
May 12, 2009 at 8:48
Is this thing on? :)
Yeah, it is, but as nearly as I can figure, the commentariat has suddenly passed from middle-age into waiting to die, & started eating dinner at 1700 & hoping they can stay awake until the weather on the 10 O’Clock news.
Gawd knows (& as usual is keeping mum) where the Anti-Podeans are. Eating breakfast or something …
Club For Growth Motto Contest said,
May 12, 2009 at 9:14
Gawd knows (& as usual is keeping mum) where the Anti-Podeans are. Eating breakfast or something …
at least I can humor myself, oh wait, that gives me an idea…
Club For Growth: Self Gratification Of The American Dream
gocart mozart said,
May 12, 2009 at 10:30
“Jane Curtin: 10,000 nuns and orphans? What’s so bad about that?
John Belushi: They were all eaten by rats!”
So I clicked on the link and browsed the SNLTranscript site and did you know that the very first SNL skit EVAH (1975) was about Wolverines! and Badgers. Very weird.
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75awolverines.phtml
Just Alison said,
May 12, 2009 at 10:31
This antipodean just got home from work, and has only now logged on. However, don’t expect any witticisms – my day job is turning me into a twitchy caricature of a red-cordialed-teenager, and my brain done gone asplodey.
gocart mozart said,
May 12, 2009 at 10:32
Wolverines
Written by: Michael O’Donoghue
Professor…..Michael O’Donoghue
European Immigrant…..John Belushi
Stage Manager…..Chevy Chase
[ Open to a small room with two men sitting in chairs ]
Professor
: Let us begin. Repeat after me.
[ European Immigrant in tight-mouthed concentration, nods ]
Professor: I would like…..
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] I would like….
Professor: ….to feed your fingertips….
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent] ….to feed yur fingerteeps….
Professor: …to the wolverines.
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] ….to de wolver-eenes.
Professor: Next, I am afraid….
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] I em afred…
Professor: …we are out…
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] …we are out…
Professor: …of badgers.
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] …of badjurs.
Professor: Would you accept…
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] Would you accept…
Professor: …a wolverine…
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] …a wolver-eene…
Professor: …in it’s place?
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] …een es place.
Professor: Next, “Hey,” Ned exclaimed…
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] “Hey,” Ned asclaimed…
Professor: “let’s boil…
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] “let’s boil…
Professor: …the wolverines.”
European Immigrant: [ in thick accent ] …the wolver-eenes.”
Professor: Next…
[ The Professor suddenly gasps, clutches his chest, and falls off his chair to the floor, obviously stricken with a heart attack. The Immigrant looks puzzled for a moment, then repeats the Professors gasp, clutches his chest, and throws himself on the floor. ]
[ Stage Manager enters the scene, peers at the two lifeless figures and looks into the camera and smiles. ]
Stage Manager: Live from New York.. it’s Saturday Night!
gocart mozart said,
May 12, 2009 at 10:40
More SNL for us insomniacs
Shimmer
Wife…..Gilda Radner
Husband…..Dan Aykroyd
Spokesman…..Chevy Chase
[ open on suburban kitchen, Wife and Husband arguing ]
Wife: New Shimmer is a floor wax!
Husband: No, new Shimmer is a dessert topping!
Wife: It’s a floor wax!
Husband: It’s a dessert topping!
Wife: It’s a floor wax, I’m telling you!
Husband: It’s a dessert topping, you cow!
Spokesman: [ enters quickly ] Hey, hey, hey, calm down, you two. New Shimmer is both a floor wax and a dessert topping! Here, I’ll spray some on your mop.. [ sprays Shimmer onto mop ] ..and some on your butterscotch pudding. [ sprays Shimmer onto pudding ]
[ Husband eats while Wife mops ]
Husband: Mmmmm, tastes terrific!
Wife: And just look at that shine! But will it last?
Spokesman: Hey, outlasts every other leading floor wax, 2 to 1. It’s durable, and it’s scuff-resistant.
Husband: And it’s delicious!
Spokesman: Sure is! Perks up anything from an ice cream sundae to a pumpkin pie!
Wife: Made from an exclusive non-yellowing formula.
Husband: I haven’t even touched my pudding and I’m ready for more!
Wife: But what about black heel marks?
Spokesman: Dirt, grime, even black heel marks, wipe clean with a damp mop.
[ Husband accidentally sprays Shimmer onto the floor ]
Husband: Oh, sorry, honey, I’ll clean that up!
Wife: Oh, no problem, sweetheart, not with new Shimmer!
[ Spokesman laughs continuously as he approaches the camera ]
Spokesman: New Shimmer, for the greatest shine you ever tasted!
[ fade ]
owlbear1 said,
May 12, 2009 at 10:52
Monster Chiller Horror Theatre:
Ooooh! Scary!
tigrismus said,
May 12, 2009 at 15:49
What about Pollyanna Marriage? Why is everybody so down on Pollyanna marriage?
Does the thought of everybody going down on Pollyanna make you glad?
gocart mozart said,
May 12, 2009 at 20:19
Absolutely