May
1

Brave Sir Andrew Ran Away




Posted at 23:03 by Gavin M.

Oh, now what are they up to this time?

Kathryn Jean Lopez, The Corner:
Andy McCarthy Said "No" to the Justice Department Today

Read this letter that went to the Obama administration this morning.

After being invited by the administration to be a prop in the interrogation debate, the National Review Institute’s former federal prosecutor provides a clear, instructional dissent:

[...] Given your policy of conducting ruinous criminal and ethics investigations of lawyers over the advice they offer the government, and your specific position that the wartime detention I would endorse is tantamount to a violation of law, it makes little sense for me to attend the Task Force meeting. After all, my choice would be to remain silent or risk jeopardizing myself.

It’s too bad he chickened out, because we already did his Obama Death List entry.

ANDREW CLETUS MCCARTHY, onetime assistant federal prosecutor, professional foundation grantee, and National Review writer who got too close to Birth-Certifigate, found on May 4th at the bottom of a long flight of marble steps with every bone in his body broken and rollerblades strapped to his feet. A note was found in his pocket reading, “OMG Obamurderers pushing me down the ack bonk ow donk crunch yow help yak thud blam crack yagh bang clatter bounce slide urk.”

Oh, he may have escaped this time, but our paths will cross again, or my name isn’t…Barack Hussein Soetoro, aa-haa-haa-haa-haaa.

203 Comments »

  1. cletus jones said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:06

    It’s like reading flan.

  2. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:08

    I do hope the Justice Department is able to go on.

  3. Pere Ubu said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:09

    Shorter Andy Pandy:

    “Waaaah! I’m taking my toys and goin’ HOME!”

  4. actor212 said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:10

    Yes, one thing that is guaranteed to ruin a democracy is investigations into possibly unethical and criminal behavior…

  5. MzNicky said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:12

    Given your policy of conducting ruinous criminal and ethics investigations of lawyers over the advice they offer the government …

    Say what? Do what? Huh?

  6. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:13

    After being invited by the administration to be a prop in the interrogation debate…

    He had his choice of mic stand or sweaty pitcher of ice water yet still he declined

  7. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:15

    Say what? Do what? Huh?

    Well, he’s sort of right, if the lawyers’ advice is to break the law all over the place, and the investigations actually have any consequences for them, which they don’t appear to. So he’s not very right, I guess.

  8. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:16

    your specific position that the wartime detention I would endorse is tantamount to a violation of law…

    BTW, Andy – taking the fifth means not actually spilling the beans before you clam up.

  9. MzNicky said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:17

    You know, a simple “No thank you” would have sufficed. Putz.

  10. PeeJ said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:20

    Das Klo: The letter is chilling and impressive in its seriousness.

    snorpf snurghghgh hrmph sprorfmph

  11. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:20

    Shirley a lawyer as experienced as McCarthy realizes that he wouldn’t be on the hook because he’s not actually being asked to give “legal advice” in the formal sense. Shirley he isn’t just grandstanding. Shirley.

  12. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:22

    “I admire the lawyers of the Counterterrorism Division, and I do not question their good faith. But fuck them. And fuck you too.”

  13. Pere Ubu said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:23

    President Obama, from the previous thread:

    Says he will seek “someone who understands justice is not just about some abstract legal theory,” but about how laws affect Americans’ daily lives. (3:08 p.m.)

    Andy Pandy:

    “It’s not breaking the law if a Republican does it, and you’re on a partisan witchhunt if you think is does, so noony-noony blah blah doody head!”

    Boy, let me join them Repugs, now there’s a group of fearless he-men and true patriots, yessirree bob.

  14. Bordo said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:26

    The self-regard conservatives like Andy McCarthy has for himself is breathtaking. Alex Rodriguez has nothing on Andy, except that Alex Rodriguez has talent, so at least his preening is understandable.

  15. Jennifer said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:26

    You know, that picture of McCarthy would be better if someone was to photoshop Chiclets in for his front teef.

    Just sayin’.

  16. Zandar1 said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:31

    But the files mysteriously disappeared from McCarthy’s house after his head exploded.

  17. Tom65 said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:34

    Anyone else think he wasn’t actually invited?

  18. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:35

    In the full letter he even pimps his book. I bet Holder runs right out and buys a copy.

  19. M. Bouffant said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:36

    clear, instructional dissent

    Would have been a bit more so had he actually attended this confab. He really thinks he’ll be locked up if he spills his fantasies about “the wartime detention [he] would endorse” at the Task Force meeting?

    The very definition of a “professional foundation grantee,” indeed. (See also: “Asshole, chickenshit.”)

  20. mingo said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:36

    cast your eyes down in confusion and shame – Andy is Speaking Truth To Power. Cue swelling music and dimming lights as the Hero strides off to certain Death, with Steely Glint in eye, and square, manly jaw clenched tight (a little visual poetic license, here, k?), and a slight sneer revealing brightly colored chiclets… wait

  21. commie atheist said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:38

    What happened to the chimps?

  22. PeeJ said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:38

    Anyone else think he wasn’t actually invited?

    Or, given the ultimate nefariousness of the Obama cabal, and considering their remarkable ability to get the idjits to smear shit all over their own faces, they invited him precisely so he could provide the country with some amusemnt as he did in his letter.

  23. Ryan said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:39

    So who’s underwriting NRO these days? Weren’t they just begging for donations a few months back? And did finally the National Review Institute relocate their offices to Jonah Goldbergs’s bathroom?

  24. Ryan said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:40

    The letter is really great. Has that “I’m taking my toys and going home” feel to it.

  25. commie atheist said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:41

    Cue swelling music and dimming lights as the Hero strides off to certain Death, with Steely Glint in eye,

    And Steely Dan thrust firmly up anus.

  26. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:45

    Speaking of pissing in the wind…

  27. Pere Ubu said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:47

    The worst part of the whole thing is that these people are really convinced that they’re carrying on in the brave tradition of our Forefathers… which makes their childish whining and posturing all the more obnoxious.

  28. commie atheist said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:48

    Moreover, in light of public statements by both you and the President, it is dismayingly clear that, under your leadership, the Justice Department takes the position that a lawyer who in good faith offers legal advice to government policy makers—like the government lawyers who offered good faith advice on interrogation policy—may be subject to investigation and prosecution for the content of that advice, in addition to empty but professionally damaging accusations of ethical misconduct. Given that stance, any prudent lawyer would have to hesitate before offering advice to the government.

    Yes, so true, just as any clergy people who speak out against gay marriage will now be put in jail for hate crimes. ObaMarxoFascism knows no bounds. To the FEMA re-education camps with them!

  29. g said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:51

    Given your policy of conducting ruinous criminal and ethics investigations of lawyers

    Um, isn’t he jumping the gun a wee bit here? Unless somehow the networks have failed to cover all those investigations that have resulted in ruined lawyers….

  30. J— said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:52

    What makes a man tell the Attorney General, the Secretary of State, the Secretary of Homeland Security, the Director of National Intelligence, the Director of the CIA, and the Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff their work is a charade? Courage.

  31. N__B said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:53

    Cletus. Clenis?

    Coincidence? I think not.

  32. Marlowe said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:54

    I was under the impression that refusing to show up at a forum you were convinced was biased against you meant you couldn’t be trusted not to give Ahmadinejad a hummer when the chips were down. Unless conservatives are applying blatant double standards, which they have never, ever done.

  33. Ryan said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:56

    g,

    Don’t you know that McCarthy’s got a copy of Holder’s resumé from the future? The whole “ruined the careers of wingnut lawyers” is right there before “sentenced whitey to death for owning too many assault rifles.” Expansion of executive powers and all that jazz.

  34. g said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:58

    the Justice Department takes the position that a lawyer who….offers legal advice……may be subject to investigation and prosecution for the content of that advice,

    I’m not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV, but isn’t it sort of NORMAL for lawyers to be subject to investigation and prosecution if they happen to advise their clients to break the law?

    I wasn’t aware that lawyers get a free pass just because they’re lawyers.

  35. Pere Ubu said,

    May 1, 2009 at 23:58

    a copy of Holder’s resumé

    the vault copy?

  36. N__B said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:00

    a copy of Holder’s resumé

    the vault copy?

    Veiled penis and vagina references in one comment. Well played, sir.

  37. Pere Ubu said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:01

    I’m not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV, but isn’t it sort of NORMAL for lawyers to be subject to investigation and prosecution if they happen to advise their clients to break the law?

    Geez, when mere humans do that kind of thing it’s called “conspiracy”, if I’m not wrong.

  38. Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:02

    No, no.

    It’s Barry Hussein Soetoro.

    Remember, the name Barry is (apparently) an insult.

  39. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:03

    Geez, when mere humans do that kind of thing it’s called “conspiracy”, if I’m not wrong.

    It’s not illegal for a lawyer to give poor or even wrong legal advice. It’s unethical, though, and should be punished by the lawyer’s bar.

  40. N__B said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:06

    It’s not illegal for a lawyer to give poor or even wrong legal advice.

    I don’t even play a lawyer on TV, but it isn’t criminal for a lawyer to knowingly provide advice on how to break the law?

  41. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:08

    I don’t even play a lawyer on TV, but it isn’t criminal for a lawyer to knowingly provide advice on how to break the law?

    I’m pretty sure not, although I’m open to correction.

  42. N__B said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:09

    Damn.

  43. g said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:10

    So you’re saying all we can do is point and laugh at them?

  44. Pere Ubu said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:11

    So you’re saying all we can do is point and laugh at them?

    And it’s not as if we weren’t doing that already.

  45. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:13

    So you’re saying all we can do is point and laugh at them?

    And fart. Always fart.

  46. Shorter GOP said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:14

    If the President does it, that means it is not illegal, as long as he is a Republican.

  47. Bitter Scribe said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:18

    Hey, don’t go off half-cocked. Be fair. Remember when George Bush invited a persistent critic of his policies to be on a presidential commission?

    That guy didn’t even give him the courtesy of a reply. Not existing is no excuse.

  48. Ryan said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:22

    I hope J-Dough checked the kerning on Andy’s letter.

    Would be an embarrassment if Holder had to write, “Who?” at the top of the vault copy of his letter…

  49. No-Visible-Means said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:29

    N_B sez:

    but it isn’t criminal for a lawyer to knowingly provide advice on how to break the law?

    Ah! There is the problem that Holder will face. The lawyers hired by the lawyers will argue that they were merely advising how to “comply” with the law.
    They got a few technicalities wrong, so some Islamofacists were uncomfortable 183 times a month. No biggie.

  50. islmfaoscist said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:29

    It’s not illegal for a lawyer to give poor or even wrong legal advice.

    Aiding and abetting a felon in the commission of a felony, however, is a different kettle of fish entirely ain’t it?

  51. Ryan said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:37

    Something of a drama has already started playing out. Holder as bad cop, of course. And everyone already loves the good cop. As George Tenet would say, “It’s a slam dunk!”

  52. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 2, 2009 at 0:38

    Ah! There is the problem that Holder will face. The lawyers hired by the lawyers will argue that they were merely advising how to “comply” with the law.

    Eat it libs: you all scoffed at the Licking Slime Bum scenario.

  53. N.C. said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:00

    It’s Barry Hussein Soetoro.

    Remember, the name Barry is (apparently) an insult.

    Obviously, he started using the name Barack instead of Barry to make himself more blackatastical in the eyes of voters, while simultaneously pushing comptrollers out the window for using his middle name Hussein so as to hide exactly how blackomogorical he truly is.

  54. No-Visible-Means said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:06

    Righteous Bubba sez:
    Eat it libs: you all scoffed at the Licking Slime Bum scenario.

    I see you are a veteran of the Chechnya War.

  55. David said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:08

    McCarthy is offended because he found out Dr. Orly Taitz Esquire was the first choice.

  56. commie atheist said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:10


    It’s Barry Hussein Soetoro.

    Remember, the name Barry is (apparently) an insult.

    Obviously, he started using the name Barack instead of Barry to make himself more blackatastical in the eyes of voters, while simultaneously pushing comptrollers out the window for using his middle name Hussein so as to hide exactly how blackomogorical he truly is.

    Actually his real name is B.A. Barrackus Soetoro Hussein Osama Bin Obama, as will be proven when the vault copy of his birth certificate is finally released. I’ve seen it, so I know this to be true.

  57. Ryan said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:19

    Story I got from inside the vault was there was an addendum to his original birth cert: Shortly after birth, his dad dropped “Obama” for “X”, citing solidarity with the BLACK NATIONALIST movement (Baby Barry wore Black Panther diapers, oddly enough). Days later, after sobering up, Barry’s Dad changed his mind… The cert was NEVER re-revised.

    B.A. Barrackus Soetoro Hussein Osama Bin X (Obama + Muhammed)

  58. Trilateral Chairman said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:20

    I honestly can’t figure out how someone this stupid managed to survive as a government prosecutor for TWENTY YEARS. It’s not merely that his views are odious; it’s that they’re just plain dumb. Worse yet, he’s unable to express them in a clear and concise manner.

    I’ve known a fair number of talented lawyers, including some who worked as prosecutors, and I’ve met a few Federal judges. I can’t imagine any of these people putting up with Andy’s yammering nonsense for more than 30 seconds.

  59. Smut Clyde said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:21

    like the government lawyers who offered good faith advice on interrogation policy

    Mr McCarthy does not support sham investigations where people start out with presuppositions about the outcome.
    Come to think of it. “good faith advice about interrogation” might consist of “Convert to evangelical christianity before torturing”.

  60. Smut Clyde said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:25

    Actually his real name is B.A. Barrackus Soetoro Hussein Osama Bin Obama

    Now the ladies of the harem of the court of King Baracktacus,
    were just passing by.

  61. Knights in White Satin said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:31

    Gee, President Obama must have burst into sobs after reading this “letter”.

  62. N__B said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:35

    The lawyers hired by the lawyers will argue that they were merely advising how to “comply” with the law.

    “He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife, ten times.”

  63. EnfantTerrible said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:47

    Shorter Andrew McCarthy (if he had any soul): “There are so many amendments to the Constitution. Which one should I choose? I take the fifth! Yeah! I take the fifth! Fif!”

    (abject apologies to Dave Chappell)

  64. Knights in White Satin said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:50

    If McCarthy really was a Public Prosecutor I can only feel pity for the ‘victims’ of the accused, though the defendant’s lawyers probably had a blast.

  65. Pere Ubu said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:54

    Fie! I have Barry’s lead sarcophagus copy RIGHT IN MAH HANZ and it clearly names him “Barackalama Obamus Rhinegold Osama Bin Killthehonkeez Hussien ibn Hussein (so nice we named him twice) ibn Falafel Qaratu Hijaz Mecca Hussein (three-fer) Stalinovitch Blanchard Dubonnet”, which means not only is he blackoracist and Islamy but Jewish, Communist AND French!

    AIEEEE HE TRULY IS THE ANTICHRIST I SAY UNTO YE!!!eleventy

  66. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 2, 2009 at 1:58

    Andrew McCarthy before the Truth and Reconciliation Commission:

    “Yes. No. Maybe. I don’t know.
    Could you repeat the question?
    You’re not the boss of me, now
    You’re not the boss of me, now
    You’re not the boss of me, now
    And You’re not so big!
    Life is unfair….”

  67. Ryan said,

    May 2, 2009 at 2:02

    three-fer

    This thread may indeed win the InterWebs.

  68. Tom Hilton said,

    May 2, 2009 at 2:05

    We all knew Obama would destroy America, but who among us predicted he would do so by causing Andy McCarthy to deny his valuable services to a government desperately in need of them? Without McCarthy advising the Justice Department, how much longer can we last?

  69. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 2:15

    Obviously, he started using the name Barack instead of Barry to make himself more blackatastical in the eyes of voters, while simultaneously pushing comptrollers out the window for using his middle name Hussein so as to hide exactly how blackomogorical he truly is.

    Yeah, because we all know that having a name like “Barack Hussein Obama” gave him a huge unfair advantage over an opponent with a pedestrian handle like “John McCain’!

    Every time I remember that we now have a president who’s not only black but named “Barack Hussein Obama”, I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. And not to go all fan boi or anything, but it’s the first time in a very, very long time that I feel a sense of pride when I see a picture or video of our president. I’m not used to it yet.

  70. PeeJ said,

    May 2, 2009 at 2:17

    Le Pinhead: Given [...] and your specific position that the wartime detention I would endorse is tantamount to a violation of law
    (my emphasis)

    So, he was aksed to participate but he knows the AG has a position on what he would say if he came. They should have simply read his mind. How hard could it be?

    And, by the way, that position he refers to is the position of the SCOTUS, not necessarily Mr. Holder’s. What a douchenozzle.

  71. Kool Thing said,

    May 2, 2009 at 2:28

    Fear
    Fear
    Black
    Fear baby
    Let everybody know

  72. Ryan said,

    May 2, 2009 at 2:30

    I for one chalk up McCain’s loss to having a feminine- and eminently-Australian-sounding middle name.

  73. tigrismus said,

    May 2, 2009 at 2:43

    So he’s withholding valuable* information from the government in wartime? Isn’t that just when he thinks it’s OK for them to strap someone to a board and pour large volumes of water up his nose? Though I suppose old fish-face there wouldn’t mind.

    *For levels of “value” near zero

  74. David said,

    May 2, 2009 at 2:49

    Baby Doc Barack

  75. PeeJ said,

    May 2, 2009 at 2:55

    America Barackistan – love it or leave it.

  76. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:04

    Have the liberal apoligists on here heard about Biden’s latest gaffe? Telling people not to go on public transit or planes because of swine flu. Way to reassure the populace, Joey! Heck of a job, Joey! Dumbass.

    Anyway when Obama nominates a SCOTUS judge, it’s going to WWW III if he nominates a real leftist. A knock-out, drag down Senate fight. It will make the battle over Bork look like a Sunday walk in the park. Jeff Sessions is our point man, motherfuckers!

  77. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:06

    I’m feeling very OT tonight. Anyone want to share what they had for dinner?

  78. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:09

    “I’m feeling very OT tonight. Anyone want to share what they had for dinner?”

    BBQ pork ribs and beans.

  79. Candy said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:14

    Anyone want to share what they had for dinner?

    Rolling Rock and strawberry cheesecake.

  80. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:14

    I see. What style BBQ? You have to give details on dinner around these parts, John.

  81. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:14

    That’s fantastic, Candy. But now I’m craving sweets.

  82. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:16

    Cheeeeesecake…

  83. Sarcastro said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:16

    Crabcakes. Made with sambal oelek to add some kick.

  84. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:17

    “I see. What style BBQ?”

    Eastern North Carolina.

  85. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:17

    Ooooh, Doctor Missus – if it’s sweets you crave, and if you like dark chocolate, Trader Joe’s has dark chocolate covered edamame. To die for.

  86. Candy said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:18

    Well, you can’t have the Rolling Rock, but you should allow yourself the sweets now and again!

    My thing when I was pignant – as I called it – was caramel silk supreme pie from Baker’s Square. Gagging sweet, I couldn’t choke it down on a bet now, but I had at least one slice a week that last two trimesters.

    I gained some weight. Yep.

  87. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:20

    Trader Joe’s has dark chocolate covered edamame

    Really? I’m intrigued. I wonder how late TJ’s is open… probably will have to settle for a sugar fix that can be obtained from 7-11.

  88. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:20

    Oh, and the chocolate covered edamame has 7 grams of protein per serving, plus all those great antioxidants. So it’s GOOD for you – and the baby! (this is a handy excuse at least)

  89. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:21

    McCarthy looks like he’s having a hard time pronouncing the letter ‘F.’

    And for dinner – the only thing I trust in the cafeteria here, the pre-made salad in a clear plastic box. Today’s choice was hard tomatoes with little mozarella balls, and lots of fresh greens.

  90. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:22

    McCarthy looks like he’s having a hard time pronouncing the letter ‘F.’

    Hence my suggestion for the Chiclet teef.

  91. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:23

    My thing when I was pignant – as I called it – was caramel silk supreme pie from Baker’s Square. Gagging sweet, I couldn’t choke it down on a bet now, but I had at least one slice a week that last two trimesters.

    Hmmm… See, I’m at a bit of an advantage here (if you can call it that) in that I’ve been so ill that I’ve only just now (at 20.5 weeks) climbed back up to my pre-pregnancy weight. (I’ve been a serious barf-cano, as Teh Gav can attest). I’ve only recently even felt like eating, rather than just forcing myself to. So I figure I can get away with a few ridiculous sugar binges.

  92. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:25

    Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:06

    I’m feeling very OT tonight. Anyone want to share what they had for dinner?

    ==========================================================

    As is typical for the great procrastinator, I am still contemplating what to do for dinner.

    Although there’s a steak in the fridge calling, and nothing else much. So that’s a good guess.

    What time I finally get around to such, is another question.

  93. M. Bouffant said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:25

    Jesus Chicken Patties on sourdough English muffins w/ mayo & Kroger’s version of Velveeta

    Lipton Brisk tea.

    A bowl of ice cream (or something flambéed) for dessert.

    Any fellow Angelenos feel the quake?

  94. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:28

    I’m gonna go with the easy dinner tonight – make a green salad (been craving them for a couple of weeks now & eating them daily) and some rotini with marinara & parmesian.

  95. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:29

    Ah, southern California.

    Earthquakes. Swine flu. Race riots. Celebrities. Mexicans.

    Sucks to live there, don’t it?

  96. M. Bouffant said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:30

    Civilized people, need I remind you, never dine before eight.

    Savages, most of you. (Me, obviously. It’s not even 1900 here.)

  97. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:30

    Yeah, M. Bouffant. When is your weekly race riot scheduled for? I think I missed the announcement.

  98. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:31

    M. Bouffant – I’ll have you know it’s after 8:30 here already, and I’ve yet to make a move toward the kitchen…

  99. M. Bouffant said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:32

    You wouldn’t last five minutes here, you weak sister!

  100. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:34

    Ah, Gomerwood, USA.

    Tornados. Methheads. Racism. Rednecks. Snake-wavin’ Jew haters.

    Sucks to live there, don’t it?

  101. N.C. said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:35

    I had a lamb shawarma platter with tabouli, batata harra, and pickled radishes from Whole Foods. It was pretty swell.

  102. Candy said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:36

    Tornados. Methheads. Racism. Rednecks. Snake-wavin’ Jew haters.

    For john, I expect all except the toranados are features, not bugs.

  103. M. Bouffant said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:36

    Jenn Of Ark, I know you’re civilized, & was making a tacit allowance for people in places where it gets dark earlier.

    This wk.’s riot was replaced by thousands of people demonstrating peacefully for immigrant rights & labor.

    I may be about to start a riot of my own in a few minutes, though.

  104. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:37

    I live in North Carolina, a “blue state” now sadly, and it’s way too liberal for me. Lefty losers.

    But I have a job offer in Tennessee, and another in Kentucky. Good, solid conservative states.

  105. N.C. said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:38

    You can’t eat a job offer. Stay on topic!

  106. N.C. said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:38

    That is, on the off topic. Central to my point.

  107. M. Bouffant said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:40

    I am starting to wonder why I stay in CA when there seem to be Trader Joes & Whole Foods all over your nation.

  108. Candy said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:41

    Stray on topic. That’s my motto.

  109. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:41

    “way too liberal for me” = “racists, rednecks & snake-wavin’ Jew haters are now outnumbered by people who read books n’ do other wuss shit.”

  110. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:42

    So… John isn’t content with the degree to which his current state sucks from the federal teat, and instead would like to move to a state where he can mooch more efficiently off of the blue-staters who pay their taxes?

  111. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:43

    Fuck you, Jenny.

    It should read “Conservatives are now outnumbered by guilty whites, hedonists, tax raisers, and authoritarians socialists”.That pretty much describes North Carolina in 2009.

  112. N.C. said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:45

    You also can’t eat guilty whites, tax raisers or authoritarian socialists. I’m really starting to doubt that you’ve even had dinner yet!

  113. Candy said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:45

    am starting to wonder why I stay in CA when there seem to be Trader Joes & Whole Foods all over your nation.

    Well, we’ve got gay marriage and might soon have medical marijuana, but I don’t think there’s a Whole Foods or Trader Joes in the whole state of Iowa. One of the law students where I was interning went to Chicago and everyone sent a shopping list with her to pick shit up for them from Trader Joes.

    We’ve got some hella good farmer’s markets, though. The downtown Des Moines one starts its season tomorrow. Wine and egg rolls and flowers and fresh asparagus. Yummm. I’ll miss tomorrow, though, because I’ve got an art final. Or a fart inal. Whatever.

  114. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:46

    M. Bouffant – sadly, there is a veritable desert of Trader Joe’s running through the nation’s midsection. My closest Joe’s is a 6-hour drive. I even emailed and asked when for the love of god they were gonna open one here; to their credit, they did respond – with “it’s not in our 2-year plan.” Well, no shit Sherlock – we’re not in anyone’s “2-year plan.”

    The upside is we remained Starbucks-free for a good 7 – 10 years beyond the rest of the country. Nothing against Starbucks for those of you who enjoy it – but that silliness that goes along with it ($4 for a coffee? Really?) being on every fricken’ block – it was nice to escape it for as long as we did.

  115. MzNicky said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:47

    Gee, President Obama must have burst into sobs after reading this “letter”.

    I’m sure he’ll be crying into his pillow every night.
    /Scarlett O’Hara/

  116. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:48

    I still can’t believe Iowa of all places launched the Presidential career of B.O.

    Why didn’t you chose Hillary?

  117. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:49

    Candy – there’s four or five Trader Joes in St. Louis, too. Last time I went up to Iowa to visit family in the Ottumwa area, first thing I did after getting the rental car in St. Louis was the Trader Joes run.

  118. Candy said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:49

    The upside is we remained Starbucks-free for a good 7 – 10 years beyond the rest of the country. Nothing against Starbucks for those of you who enjoy it – but that silliness that goes along with it ($4 for a coffee? Really?) being on every fricken’ block – it was nice to escape it for as long as we did.

    Yeah, I lived in the Seattle area in 2002 and there was a Starbucks about every 20 ft or so. Moved back to Des Moines in 2003 and there was one in the entire city, but we had had some really good indie coffee houses for years. Now we’ve got quite a few Starbucks, but nothing like the bigga time cities.

  119. MzNicky said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:50

    Every time I remember that we now have a president who’s not only black but named “Barack Hussein Obama”, I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. And not to go all fan boi or anything, but it’s the first time in a very, very long time that I feel a sense of pride when I see a picture or video of our president.

    Yeah, Jennifer, I know the feeling. Plus he’s hot.

  120. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:50

    I think my lovely husband sensed that I was about to request a 7-11 snack run. He just cruelly slaughtered a fresh pineapple in my honor. Tasty!

    PS – after having a very irritating day, I started a new Facebook group, but haven’t yet recruited anyone (a lot of my friends are afraid of offending people, the jerks). Any of you science geeks want to join up?

    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=83387811043&ref=nf

  121. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:54

    “Every time I remember that we now have a president who’s not only black but named “Barack Hussein Obama”,”

    Yeah, it will be a real fucking pleasure to watch him sink into the low 20s in popularity ratings by 2012 and lose the next election fucking badly!

  122. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:54

    Frau Doktorin:

    So… John isn’t content with the degree to which his current state sucks from the federal teat, and instead would like to move to a state where he can mooch more efficiently off of the blue-staters who pay their taxes?

    Ain’t it the shits that neither John nor any of the other “overtaxed” WATB trolls can ever reply or deal in any way at all with these simple figures?

  123. Candy said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:55

    Jennifer: I wonder if Ottumwa has a Starbucks yet. I haven’t actually been in Ottumwa in about five years now. They’re vying to become the gaming capital of the world or something like that, according to the Des Moines Register.

    I think the reason Iowa doesn’t have Traders or Whole Foods is not so much that there isn’t a demand, at least in the metro areas, but that Dahl’s in central Iowa and Hy-Vee over everywhere have such a stranglehold on the state. There’s one Fareway in the DM area and one Aldi’s, but that’s about it for alternative options.

  124. MzNicky said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:56

    But I have a job offer in Tennessee, and another in Kentucky.

    Pick Kentucky. Please. We’ve got more than our share of dull-witted pricks here already.

  125. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:57

    “So… John isn’t content with the degree to which his current state sucks from the federal teat, and instead would like to move to a state where he can mooch more efficiently off of the blue-staters who pay their taxes?”

    BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAAAAH!

    Give me a list that doesn’t include Constitutional military spending, ok, sweetie? Then we’ll talk.

  126. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:59

    I seem to have hit a nerve. John has gone all condescending. Such a shame, we started off so well.

  127. Candy said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:59

    Why didn’t you chose Hillary?

    Well, we voted for Bill both times, but Obama is just the better choice. That simple. He had the best political organization I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of them, being from Iowa. He even won in the rural areas, where there’s nary a black face to be seen. What ya think of them apples, John?

    Iowa went for Dukakis, too, by the way. And Gore in 2000. Don’t know what the fuck the state was thinking in 2004, but dumbya squeaked it.

  128. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:01

    Oh, fuck! That’s the new Rushbo talking point? Mississippi sucks $2 out of our necks for every dollar they pay in, but if it’s military, it doesn’t count?! Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ you’re a fucking maroon, John.

  129. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:01

    Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 3:59

    I seem to have hit a nerve. John has gone all condescending. Such a shame, we started off so well.
    ============================================================
    I’ve seen nothing to indicate the person/troll/parody troll in question is any other than our long term parody troll, relentlessly boring.

  130. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:04

    ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© is a relentless cunt.

  131. Candy said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:06

    ittdgy, if this is our parody troll, he seems to be decompensating.

  132. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:06

    “He even won in the rural areas, where there’s nary a black face to be seen. What ya think of them apples, John?”

    I think there are a lot of guilty whites in rural Iowa.

    Let me know when a white person is elected Mayor of Detroit or D.C., mmmkay?

  133. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:06

    ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© is a relentless cunt.

    ITTDGY, I had no idea! You could make some serious cash.

  134. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:06

    Forget the steak, I’m off to the store

  135. Djur said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:07

    Dinner was feta, hummus, chewy Arabic-style pita, olives, tomatoes, greens, and toum. And Evan Williams, black label. Been working for the last twenty days straight…

    Hi, folks.

  136. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:07

    I still can’t believe Iowa of all places launched the Presidential career of B.O.

    Yeah, funny thing, that.

    See, it was just kinda forever that Iowa pretty much defined Republican values – not today’s party, but small-c conservative in any case. You know, people who not only worked hard, but were even willing to vote for themselves higher taxes for better public services, like schools and the like. Pretty much down to earth common sense people.

    And they launched the presidential career of the first black president, when most of them don’t even know any black people (seriously folks, Iowa’s pretty damn white – at least was up until the mid-90s anyway, and most areas still are) and the state as a whole – get this – has one of the country’s highest percentages of people over 65.

    So, you gotta ask youself, did everyone in Iowa just suddenly lose their minds, or at least did enough of them just suddenly lose it, that they went screeching far left for the black guy? Or did it just happen that they remained common sense people and voted for the guy who, you know, made the most sense to them?

    You know, one of these things is much more likely and probable than the other.

    And the cherry on top? This state that exemplified the small-c Republican values of say the 50s? Just legalized gay marriage, and without much fanfare gay marriages are now being performed daily.

    That’s the new right-of-center. Get used to it, sunshine.

  137. jim said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:07

    Andrew McCarthy = TL;DR.

    Well isn’t that nice … I’m sure Holder passed this vital document along to President Obama, knowing that in these frightening times the man can do with a good belly-laugh.

    That’s a hell of a lot of typing just to say “bite me” though. Funniest part of all is how he never quite gets around to putting the blame where it belongs – on the rogue regime that locked all these fuckers up (at the same time as Bush was saying in public that he simply didn’t give a rat’s ass about OBL) without bothering to try getting much evidence to convict them in the confidence that their faithful fork-tongued ass-lickers like Addington & Yoo would say Patriot Act II, MCA, etc., means it’s all good, evidence schmevidence, bust ‘em all & let Chuck Norris sort ‘em out … not such a cunning plan as it turns out.

    Also must join the choir & remark that Mr. Gavin here is indeed a lean mean snarking machine, running on pure nitro (& fricasseed embryos from Quiverfull Moms glazed in the blood of Iraq Vets)… I like to think of “Sadly, No!” as Atrios, if Atrios actually had something to say (& kick-ass pictures).

  138. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:10

    most of them don’t even know any black people

    Which is why, of course, they voted for one.

  139. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:12

    Aside from the vampires in the red states sucking the productive states blue (so that’s why the colors are reversed in the USA!) let’s not forget: (Warning: exact figures reflect 2000 congressional seats–haven’t redone lately) As the extreme cases, every citizen of Montana gets 2.4 votes in the presidential election, while getting $1.43 back for every tax dollar they pay in, while every citizen of California gets 85% of one vote, while getting back 80 cents on the dollar.

    That’s bad enough every four years, but every fucking day, 2/3 of the states with 1/3 of the population have 2/3 of the representation in the Senate, and now, to boot, we have to get a 60% vote even at that to get anything done. Something has to give! The Senate and the Electoral College have to go.

  140. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:12

    Oh, and gay “marriage”?

    It was never voted on. Just imposed by judicial fiat, and will be promptly reversed with the next ballot initiative. Just like in uber-liberal California. How do you like THEM apples?

  141. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:13

    I like to think of “Sadly, No!” as Atrios, if Atrios actually had something to say (& kick-ass pictures)…

    …& consistently interesting and entertaining comments, and a proprieter that’s not a huge douche & no circle of sycophants &….

  142. St. Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:13

    Let me know when a white person is elected Mayor of Detroit or D.C., mmmkay?

    Well, for Detroit we can go with reincorporation-1970, inclusive. Does that work for you? Or is 150ish years of white mayorhood not enough for you?

  143. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:14

    “The Senate and the Electoral College have to go.”

    Aha. HAHAHA. AHAHAHAHAH FUCKING-HA!

    You have no idea how Constitutional Amendments work,do you, foreigner?

  144. St. Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:15

    How do you like THEM apples

    Mmmm… tasty gay apples!

  145. M. Bouffant said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:16

    My, my, someone’s getting angrier & angrier, & more & more hateful, bless his evil little heart.

  146. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:17

    “. Does that work for you? Or is 150ish years of white mayorhood not enough for you?”

    I mean since it was a majority-black city, douchenozzle. You knew damn well what I meant, so cut out the semantics.

  147. N.C. said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:17

    Hmma-hmma-hmm, let’s see:

    Federal defense spending is 21% of the budget. If we take 79% of the return on federal dollars, as per John’s request, Kentucky still gets $1.19 for every $1 in taxes, and Tennessee gets $1.02.

    Hmma-hmma-hmm.

  148. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:19

    John the shithead: I know how constitutional amendments work, asshole, that’s why the next stolen election is going to see “amendment” with torches and pitchforks, as 2000 should have.

  149. Jennifer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:19

    …will be promptly reversed with the next ballot initiative.

    Ok, now you not only can divine that the good folks of Iowa never would have voted for a black guy if they knew any black people…but that they are also homophobic bigots who just can’t wait to vote against equal rights for queers. Funny, there’s not been a lot of outrage in the news. Iowans aren’t all that big on rioting. My guess is, a few nutters will put something on the ballot, and the good common-sense Iowans – the majority – will go into the voting booth thinking, “hey, they started getting married a couple of years ago and it hasn’t hurt me” and will vote it down. We shall see.

  150. Joe Max said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:19

    “I see. What style BBQ?”

    Eastern North Carolina.

    When I lived in North Carolina, (but I lived in Raleigh, so the east may be different) “BBQ” was loose pork meat, generally eaten as a sandwich. Which, of course, my neighbor from an old Tennessee family calls an abomination and a waste of good pork. Where I live now in Oakland, BBQ (when not attached to ribs) is generally beef brisket, which in New Orleans (where my father’s family is from) is ridiculous, because only pork can properly be “BBQ”. BBQ disputes between localities are not just over the sauce. And they can make the our wingnut v. moonbat arguments seem tame.

  151. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:19

    Hey N. C(unt).–

    Re-do your math. I’ll give you a hint–some states have more military bases than others! It’s TRUE!

    *ssshhhh! don’t let the other libs hear I let you in on this little secret!*

  152. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:22

    “My guess is, a few nutters will put something on the ballot, and the good common-sense Iowans – the majority – will go into the voting booth thinking, “hey, they started getting married a couple of years ago and it hasn’t hurt me” and will vote it down. We shall see.”

    BOOKMARK IT!

    Just like those uber-right winger Californians, right? They voted FOR gay marriage! Oh, wait…

  153. St. Lady Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:23

    I mean since it was a majority-black city, douchenozzle. You knew damn well what I meant, so cut out the semantics.

    Say what you mean, muffin. No one here has any desire to read your mind. We’d probably end up on some sort of criminal offender registry if we shared your thoughts.

  154. Candy said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:24

    John, dumbass, do some research. We don’t have stoopit “ballot initiatives” in Iowa. The only hope the bigots have is a constitutional amendment, and with a Dem governor, even a big wussy like “Mr. Incredible” Culver, and a Dem house and senate, what are the odds.

    By the way, the justice who wrote the opinion, Cady, is a Republican appointee and a conservative. He knows an unconstitutional statute when he sees it, though. Yes, indeedy.

  155. N.C. said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:25

    OK.

    Kentucky: 3 bases
    Tennessee: 3 bases

    Compared to, say, some liberal bastions that make less than a dollar per tax dollar collected:

    New Jersey: 6 bases
    New York: 5 bases
    California: 23 bases (!)

    Hmma-hmma-hmm.

  156. Gavin M. said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:26

    Hey N. C(unt).–

    Re-do your math.

    I wish Bruce were here.

  157. Candy said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:26

    I miss Bruce.

  158. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:29

    Oh, I see: West Virginia ($1.75/dollar) has a lot more military bases than California ($.80/dollar). Nobody has ever explained things in such a lucid and cogent manner! Thank you, John! You brainless douchnozzle.

  159. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:29

    “California: 23 bases (!)”

    Yeah, it’s called the High Desert asswipe. They a’int talkin about L.A. and San Faggotcisco.

    Take out military bases, take out agro subsidies. Oh, and conservatives have been advocating for YEARS to replace the income tax with a flat tax. That would go a long way towards making the burden equal, since blue state are wealthier than red states (until recently, I guess, since the number of “red” states is even smaller thanks to the MSM).

  160. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:31

    And why don’t you try ooooh, I don’t know (just bein crazy here!) look at military bases in proportion to population.

    Anyway, end the fucking “progressive” income tax. Then blue states wouldn’t be paying more than they get by any measure. But of course libs don’t want that, do you?

  161. EdsAppliance said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:32

    Pie goes right to my thighs.

  162. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:33

    [This post has been deleted by Gary Ruppert]

  163. Ryan said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:33

    Blocking Obama’s first (of probably 3) Supreme Court nominee sounds like GREAT PR for the Republican Party. That’ll play well. Party of No, indeed.

  164. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:34

    John’s posts make a lot more sense if you imagine him wild-eyed and red-faced with spit flying while madly banging on the keyboard.

    An empty bottle of Jack Daniels in the wastebasket and another half-empty one on the desk.

  165. Joe Max said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:35

    I mean since it was a majority-black city, douchenozzle. You knew damn well what I meant, so cut out the semantics.

    Oakland, a “majority-black” city, elected Jerry Brown as mayor, an extremely white guy. Twice. While Bush was president.

    Our mayor now is former Congresscritter Ron Dellums, who is a black guy, but he’s kind of phoning it in, so the next mayor is likely to be DeFuentes, a Hispanic guy, or Peralta, another white guy. (Or my choice, Nancy Nadel, a white woman! But she’s kind of considered too liberal for Oakland…)

  166. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:38

    Hey Major Chink Monkey, why don’t you stick a long flagpole up your ass and tickle your prostate? Then maybe you’ll be so distracted you can leave the rest of us the fuck alone with your insipid “commentary”.

  167. N.C. said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:39

    They a’int talkin about L.A. and San Faggotcisco

    Los Angeles, huh?

  168. laym said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:39

    Bruce, we hardly knew ye.

  169. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:39

    [This comment has been seized as evidence by the Duplin County Sheriff's Office]

  170. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:39

    Anyway I’m out of here, libs. Be back tomorrow to kick your dumb asses some more.

  171. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:40

    Naaah. It’s more fun to sit here and wait for your head to explode……

  172. laym said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:41

    Also, angry and annoying troll is still angry and annoying. Also.

  173. Marlowe said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:42

    Aw, cute, an unbalanced troll is telling someone else to “leave the rest of us the fuck alone”. Maybe his multiple personalities are duking it out again.

  174. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:42

    And why don’t you try ooooh, I don’t know (just bein crazy here!) look at military bases in proportion to population.

    Why don’t we look at slack-jawed, uneducated, ineducable, bible-thumping, knuckle-dragging cretins in proportion to population? (Just bein’ crazy here!)

  175. John said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:42

    I DECLARE VICTORY!

    VICTORY!!!1!!!

  176. Major Kong said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:43

    just bein crazy here!

    That’s the only insightful statement he’s made all night.

  177. Gary Ruppert said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:43

    The fact is, WOLVERINES!!1!!

  178. Brandi said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:44

    I’m feeling very OT tonight. Anyone want to share what they had for dinner?

    A pastrami sandwich and– hope you don’t shame me over it– a little bag of Cheetos.

  179. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:45

    There is much to be said for Cheetos, Brandi.

    But please, only in moderation. And never in combination with Mountain Dew.

  180. Jonah Goldberg said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:47

    “But please, only in moderation. And never in combination with Mountain Dew.”
    Well, fuck you too.

  181. N__B said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:49

    Rack of lamb, orzo with butter and garlic, hard cider. Followed by popcorn and Firefly

    Aaaaaaaaaaah.

  182. N.C. said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:49

    The important question is, of course, crunchy or puffs?

  183. Vice President Biden said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:50

    ““But please, only in moderation. And never in combination with Mountain Dew.””

    What about Dunkin’ Donuts with Vault?

  184. NobodySpecial said,

    May 2, 2009 at 4:53

    Must be bedtime, and John doesn’t want mommy finding out he’s been on the Interwebs again.

  185. jim said,

    May 2, 2009 at 5:00

    I don’t even know who Bruce IS & I miss him too.

    “LOL PWNED!!!1!1! Gotta go put on my Captain America costume & violate some livestock now. I’ll be back tomorrow to make a flaming arse of myself some more.”

    Don’t forget to bring your rocket-propelled goalposts again. We’ll be counting the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …

  186. tellybelly said,

    May 2, 2009 at 5:05

    This kind of adult behavior is what you eventually get when you call an elementary school boy ‘Bucky Beaver’ over and over and over.

    Stop school bullying or we will end up with more nerdy neocons…

  187. John's Mom said,

    May 2, 2009 at 5:06

    Oh, sure, it’s all a big joke to you libs. You find YOUR kid spanking the monkey to your head pasted on Mary Matalin’s body and see if you don’t wanna up your strictness.

  188. kingubu said,

    May 2, 2009 at 5:08

    Any fellow Angelenos feel the quake?

    Oui. Much like John’s troll-fu, though, it was so tiny it was hardly worth mentioning.

    As for dinner, if its Friday it must be sushi take-out!

  189. The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,

    May 2, 2009 at 5:10

    I used to think these right-wingers were simply innumerate, but there’s more to it than that. We’re supposed to consider military bases by population, but we’re not supposed to consider population by population, which is what you’re fucking dividing by to get the return-on-tax-dollar figures?

    They just live in a different universe from the rest of us, that’s all there is to it.

  190. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    May 2, 2009 at 5:14

    but we’re not supposed to consider population by population,

    He’s probably just confused because he’s using a three-fifths multiplier in some of his calculations.

  191. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 2, 2009 at 5:21

    Is this Michael Steele’s doing?

  192. PeeJ said,

    May 2, 2009 at 5:40

    Sorry, I’ve been busy making dindin. Chicken “bouillabaisse.” Same process but using (organic, free range) chicken thighs. With a faaaabulous rouille. Basic green Salad. Crufty bread with dabs of Pelugra. I’ve got some bananas I need to do something with soon. Maybe bananas Foster.

  193. N__B said,

    May 2, 2009 at 5:44

    Peej –

    What language are you speaking? It sounds vaguely latinate, but the syntax eludes me.

  194. PeeJ said,

    May 2, 2009 at 5:55

    Puhswaydo frenchy chef lingwidge.

  195. g said,

    May 2, 2009 at 6:24

    Any fellow Angelenos feel the quake?

    Nope. Was driving home on PCH. didn’t feel a thing. My spouse was already home – he didn’t feel anything either.

  196. M. Bouffant said,

    May 2, 2009 at 6:31

    I felt nothing, nothing. Therefore, it didn’t happen & is a liberal MSM/gov’t. plot to put us all in camps for our own good cause there might be one later.

  197. Brandi said,

    May 2, 2009 at 8:59

    There is much to be said for Cheetos, Brandi.

    But please, only in moderation. And never in combination with Mountain Dew.

    I do not like Mountain Dew. Its very color is off-putting.

    What I really wish is that you could get little bags of the white cheddar Cheetos. Man, those are tasty.

  198. Bummer said,

    May 2, 2009 at 12:55

    “After all, my choice would be to remain silent or risk jeopardizing myself.” McC

    why would you be worried? unless…it’s not something illegal is it? are you trying to sell me pot?

  199. MzNicky said,

    May 2, 2009 at 14:20

    Wow, Sadlies. Superb troll-wrangling. Catching up this morning and reading through the comments I was getting pissed as I read the increasingly offensive, obnoxious comments directed at some of our regulars. Just as I was thinking shitfire, what does it TAKE for these guys to BAN someone’s sorry ass already?”, the worm turned, as it were, with delightful fun-pokery and nifty pwnage. Shortly thereafter the beastly thing had to leave all of a sudden and slunk away. Nicely done! A case study in How to Handle an Asshole Troll Without Becoming A Banning Asshole Your Own Self.

  200. Tommykey said,

    May 2, 2009 at 19:27

    BTW, any word on how K-Lo’s get-together with the Pantload went in LA?

  201. tigrismus said,

    May 2, 2009 at 20:20

    BTW, any word on how K-Lo’s get-together with the Pantload went in LA?

    Apparently nothing earth shaking

  202. Rusty Shackleford said,

    May 2, 2009 at 21:03

    What’s all this about a patented up-on-the-downstroke technique?

  203. Mentis Fugit said,

    May 2, 2009 at 22:47

    He really thinks he’ll be locked up if he spills his fantasies about “the wartime detention [he] would endorse” at the Task Force meeting?

    Andrew The Fourth Chipmunk is afraid that if they start showing interrogation videos he’ll forget where he is and start unzipping.

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