Mr. Muir, Adobe Called. They Want Illustrator® Back.

Just when you thought Big Hollywood couldn’t be any more preposterous, along comes Chris Muir with one of his comics which, as always, needed to be fixed:

gay_by_gay_by_muir

 

Comments: 180

 
 
 

holy crap. First comment over tere:

you need to show this to every budding thinker you know

uh…. yeah. ‘Cause it’s JUST SO FUCKING INSIGHTFUL.

Waaah! Waaah! PC! PC! Hollyweird hates Christians! Flibberty-floo!

 
 

frist ?

 
 

obviously not

 
 

Hey, if she’s putting on a burqa, why does she have to put on a men’s dress shirt first? Is this standard burqa dress?

 
 

God rest, Bea Arthur, but the spunk of Maude is still needed: nobody remembers the burqa season.

 
 

you need to show this to every budding thinker you know

I think he meant ‘every Bud drinker you know.’

 
 

Well you’ve got to admit that Muir knows his audience.

Morons.

 
 

Lglzng sdmt mrrg wll nly srv t dstry scrd nstttn whch hs bn n f th pllrs f Wstrn Cvlztn fr 5000 yrs.

Th mrcn ppl wll mk th lftsts py n lst lctns fr th jdcl tyrnny n w, whn nlctd ctvst jdgs vr rld th wll f 62% f wns by lglzng sdmt mrrg.

Ths knd f jdcl tyrnny s nccptbl nd nt-mrcn, t wll nt b tlrtd.

 
 

it will not be tolerated

Suck it up, pink boy.

 
 

Spoof or not, killfile.

 
 

One of these days I’ll learn that Sadly, No! is always perfectly spot-on, and thus I don’t need to click through to see what the original is actually saying.

But I don’t think I’ll stop on the basis that I might find a classic piece of wingnut hilarity.

 
 

By the way, is the implied assumption that gay men are not involved with beauty pageants outside of this Perez Hilton guy? ‘Cause, I find that pretty difficult to assume.

 
 

I’d also point out that leftist feminists were trying to get Afghan women out of burqas for years before Muir even knew where Kabul was, but of course that doesn’t matter ’cause shut up 9/11 that’s why.

 
Ted the Slacker
 

Great White Avenger – Good work, but if you want vault copy wingnut, I direct you to the comments over there…

candyc · 1 day ago

we respect carrie prejean for standing up to her principles. perez hilton showed himself to be the woman-hater he is calling her a ‘c**t’ and a ‘b@@ch.’ and yeah, what’s with gay men judging beauty contests? and regarding ugly betty. that show is all about pushing an agenda but making it benign in the process. with the gay teenage boy (betty’s nephew) and the mother always saying ‘we except him for what he is.’ when did television stop being about entertainment and turn into this whole political whatever thing?

I don’t know how you compete with this.

 
 

Y lftsts jst wt. Thr wll b bllt nttv n 2010 t mnd th w stt cnstttn t bn sm sx mrrg nd cvl nns. t wll pss vrwhlmngly, nd s cnsqnc th Rpblcns wll wn n lndsld vctrs n ll lvls f gvrnmnt.

T qt n f yr mrxst hrs, “Yr chckns r cmng hm t rst!”

 
 

“Why is a gay man judging a beauty contest? How can you accurately assess my beauty unless you get a boner?”
Chris Muir isn’t just a crappy cartoonist, he’s a fucking moron.

Oh, and “True tolerance means tolerating my intolerance”? Gosh, we’ve NEVER heard that before.

 
 

Legalizing sodomite marriage will only serve to destroy a sacred institution which has been one of the pillars of Western Civilization for 5000 years.

Western Civ began in 3000 BCE? This timeframe: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/30th_century_BC ?

 
 

On “Ugly Betty”, Hilda doesn’t “except” Justin for who he is, she ACCEPTS him for who he is. And after TWO recent cases of boys under 13 committing suicide following homophiobic bullying, I fail to see how that’s a terrible message.

 
 

Relax, Avenger. No self-respecting homo would ever marry you.

 
 

f lbrl Clfrn vtrs bnnd gy mrrg n thr stt wth 52% f th vt, thn t s bvs tht whr vr thr s bllt ntv t prsrv trdtnl mrrg t wll sccd.

Th mrcn ppl d nt lk gy mrrg. Whn wll y lftsts rlz tht? t wll b lsng ss vry tm.

Thgh fr th sk f th ntn hp y cntn t psh fr t. t wll nly srv t nt trdtnl mndd mrcns nd brng bt th lft’s pltcl dms.

 
Royalist Republican
 

Chris Muir, although a brilliant thinker and very talented cartoonist, is missing the main point here, in that gay marriage will only be accepted by the masses if bequeathed upon them by a royal head-of-state, preferably from the House of Bush, America’s last grasp of peace and prosperity in history before power was usurped by the Obama faction. What you liberals lose with your democrat notions is that of power and honor, the two things that have always been a part of America’s Judeo-Christian tradition, even though your precious Chosen One seeks to, through his ineffectual socialistic appeasement, destroy all traditions and begin anew through forced egalitarianism. You will lose.

 
 

He should just start outright drawing porn. At least then I can pass off the failure of anatomy as him trying to draw wank material than actually trying to say something serious.

 
 

Chris Muir is weak as an illustrator, and weaker as a social observer.

My young daughter makes much more insightful comics. Plus, she would never participate in a county-fair style “beauty pageant” (although she would win if she did). She’s got too much self respect to parade around in her underwear and let a bunch of strangers “judge” her.

Why do we still have beauty pageants, anyway? Finally, I like sodomites.

 
 

I see from Muir’s mug that he’s attempting a Wingnut FaceMullet(TM). Best of luck, Chris.

 
 

Ah, Muir. Just like Picasso, except when Picasso drew women with grotesque, impossible anatomy, he INTENDED to.

 
Ted the Slacker
 

Maybe he has point and gay dudes shouldn’t be judging beauty pageants. So next year, let’s have lesbians.

 
 

@Ted the Slacker : Makes sense to me.

 
Mouthful of Kelp
 

So the guy who’s against gay marriage, and regularly aligns himself with the party who would make homosexuality illegal if it could, is telling us LIBERALS want to put women in the burqas?

 
 

So the guy who’s against gay marriage, and regularly aligns himself with the party who would make homosexuality illegal if it could, is telling us LIBERALS want to put women in the burqas?

Yes, because calling people out for being bigoted twinks is akin to taking their speech, property rights, political rights, and personal freedoms away. Chris Muir has the right to draw hawt babes and to hate on minority groups and not have you making fun of him because that’d make you worse than the terrists, that’s whut.

 
 

Y lftsts wll LS! BKMRK T! m trfy nd VRYTHNG PRDCT WLL CM T PSS!

f y stpd lbs hv bkmrkd smthng nd y dn’t rd bt t, th rsn s tht th Lbrl Md hs spprssd th nws!

S, y Lbs hd bttr wk p th fct tht McCn s yr PRSDNT. Why? Bcs tld y t BKMRK T!!!!!

 
 

a sacred institution which has been one of the pillars of Western Civilization for 5000 years.

Yes, the rules of marriage were set down quite clearly in the oldest sacred texts. So let’s follow their example and practice marriage the way they did back then: Polygamy will be allowed, and even ecouraged for holy men; marriages will be arranged between young girls and powerful older men; adultery will be punishable by death (for wives only, of course); and divorce will be strictly prohibited. (or did you want to “pick and choose” your bible passages to use only the ones you like?)

 
 

Th mrcn ppl d nt lk ntrrcl mrrg. Whn wll y lftsts rlz tht? t wll b lsng ss vry tm.

Thgh fr th sk f th ntn hp y cntn t psh fr t. t wll nly srv t nt trdtnl mndd mrcns nd brng bt th lft’s pltcl dms.

 
 

Th mrcn ppl d nt lk mxd-rlgn mrrg. Whn wll y lftsts rlz tht? t wll b lsng ss vry tm.

Thgh fr th sk f th ntn hp y cntn t psh fr t. t wll nly srv t nt trdtnl mndd mrcns nd brng bt th lft’s pltcl dms.

 
 

Th prcdng tw psts r ns tht md n 1910 nd 1950. ls tld ppl t bkmrk thm.

S hw my prdctns lwys cm tr? m th mghty TRFY!!!!!!!

 
 

t s tr tht lbrls dn’t hv ny prblms wth xtrmst Mslms. Wh, y knw, bt wmn, pt thm n brqs, prctc plygmy, tc, nd hr thy hv prblm wth gys, t. Y knw cs thy stn thm t dth.

Bt thy’r n xtc cltr nd nn-wht, s whn thy d t’s k. Rght, lbs?

 
 

SoTintin, I guess I’m missing the point, but what, exactly, did you change in the original cartoon?

 
 

Ah, Muir. Just like Picasso, except when Picasso drew women with grotesque, impossible anatomy, he INTENDED to.

They both have the misogyny angle though.

 
Strawman Argument
 

ADDRESS ME, LIBERALS! ADDRESS ME!

 
 

Don’t you people understand anything?

First, the comic clearly illustrates that wearing a Burka is womans choise, therefore we should not critisize or complain in any situation where woman wears one.

Second, this clearly shows that while one is free to choose, one is also responsible for the results of ones actions: The woman choosing to wear Burka during the swimsuit round of the competition lost, but it was her decision to wear it during the swimsuit round, so stop blaming politically motivated judges for her loss.

Sheesh…

All Mr. Muir wants is that people would stop blaming political judges and gay marriage for the Miss California:s loss. It was her call, and she is responsible for the consequences. Mr. Muir states is so clearly, whycan’t you see it… 😛

 
 

The American people do not approve of slaves being counted at a rate greater than 3/5 of a white person!

The American people do not approve of women being given the so-called “right” to vote!

The American people do not approve of forced integration of our schools!

Weh! Weh! Judiciam activists! Weh!

 
 

The preceeding two posts are ones that I made in 1910 and 1950.

Wow, even before there was an Internet! Why, I’m convinced!

…not.

 
 

while one is free to choose, one is also responsible for the results of ones actions

Not if you were in the Bush Administration.

 
Answer THIS, libs!
 

What will you do when Obama forces us all to mass-marry the Illuminati reptilians? HUH??

 
 

It is true that liberals don’t have any problems with extremist Muslims. Who, you know, beat women, put them in burquas, practice polygamy, etc, and I hear they have a problem with gays, too. You know cause they stone them to death.

Because if liberals had problems with extremist Muslims, they would show their concern for women’s liberation by blowing the shit out of more countries with fundamentalist leadership?

I thought it would have just been more effective to not prop up, give money to, arm, and protect a bunch of Islamic fundamentalist warlords and tyrants around the world, as Ronald Reagan and Bush Sr. did.

We commie liberals would have let the Afghan secular government continue to exist, when women had rights, and education. Instead, the hawks and especially Ronnie Reagan preferred to hire a bunch of drug-dealing fundamentalist warlords to impose barbarity on Afghanistan and destroy the only stable secular government they ever had.

But maybe if we just drop a shitload more bombs on a billion Muslims, women’s rights will flower forth like never before! Because if there’s anything that will help women achieve rights and independent development, it’s letting a bunch of needledick, scared shitless American cowardly dirtbags blow up their countries and torture detainees and rant and rave.

The way you show you love people is by blowing their country up. Always.

 
Political Correctness is Slavery
 

As we all know, it is bad to criticize conservatives and the inanity of their “thought” processes, but it is OK to criticize Liberals.

Bookmark it.

For I am the MIGHTY TROOFY!!!!!!

 
 

‘m tlkng bt n plcs lk Hllnd l Cd whr ppl r pt n prsn fr sggstng th Krn shld b bnnd (wht vr hppnd t fr spch?) r <B>ssssntd bcs thy mk flms crtcl f slm.

r n Nrwy wr wmn wr blmd fr bng sxlly ssltd by Mslm mmgrnts bcs thy wrn’t “rspctfl” f thr cltr by cvrng p.

 
Political Correctness is Slavery
 

Google Gert Welders, Theo van Gogh, and Ayaan Hirsi Ali, El Cid. The last one is a Muslim apostate who had to flee Holland for her life because of the rise of radical Islam in Europe. The Dutch government refused to protect her.

 
Political Correctness is Slavery
 

What will you do when Obama forces us all to mass-marry the Illuminati reptilians? HUH??

I’m looking forward to marrying one of them! My girlfriend Rosie Palms is getting a little boring in the sack.

I had to give up my last girlfriend, Five Finger Jackie, for the same reason.

Finally! Somebody will marry me!

 
 

bt th nly thng th mhmmdn’s hv rght s thr ppstn t hmsxlty. S cnnt cndmn thm fr tht. Hwvr, w r t wr, thy ttckd s bcs mrc s nt mhmmdn ntn.

Ths wr wll nly b wn f w nflct vrwhlmng cslts n thm jst s Prsdnt Trmn dd t th Jpns. Th Jps wr smlr n thr fntcsm t th mhmmdn.

Wht wrkd fr n grp f brbrns wll ls wrk fr nthr.

 
 

‘m tllng y, th Mzz Msss r CMNG! Y’r ll n MRTL DNGR!!!!! H N!!!!

HLP! HLP! Smbdy hlp m! My Dpnds r wt gn!!!

 
 

Surely I can get you people to take the bait once I expose myself as a racist.

That seems to have worked well the last seven thousand times I tried it.

 
 

T lbrt pn my lst pst, f w bmb th Mslms, thy wll stp scrng m.

ll w hv t d s kll 1 1/2 blln ppl. W dfntly nd t pt Rpblcns bck n pwr, s thy r th nly ppl bldthrsty ngh t ct n my frs.

 
 

What will you do when Obama forces us all to mass-marry the Illuminati reptilians? HUH??

Forget it. We wouldn’t marry you if you were the last pinkboy on the planet. Even we have scruples. And taste.

 
 

See, kids, if you feed the trolls they keep coming back for more. Don’t make me get out my disemvoweller. Both real and fake trolls are at risk!

 
 

Tht lst pst ws fk. Dd Trmn dstry ll 70 mlln Jpns?

ll tht s ncssry s tw wll plcd nclr blsts n tw slmc cts. ‘d sy Thrn nd Dmscs wld b th tw bst cts t mk n ffctv dmstrtn f mrcn mght.

 
 

Funny thing about Holland, just to pick one funny thing – since it’s not the U.S.A. and they don’t have our Bill of Rights, “free speech” as we know it doesn’t apply there.

Weird, that.

 
 

“Fnny thng bt Hllnd, jst t pck n fnny thng – snc t’s nt th .S.. nd thy dn’t hv r Bll f Rghts, “fr spch” s w knw t dsn’t pply thr.”

nd lbrls wld lk t hv th sm thng hr wth “frnss dctrn” nd “ht spch” lws, wldn’t y?

 
 

All that is necessary is well-placed disemvowellings of two persistent trolls. I’d say Political Correctness Is Slavery and Great White Avenger would be the two best trolls to make an effective demonstration of SadlyNosian might.

 
 

Boring asshole troll is a boring asshole.

 
 

TinTin, how is it your parody is not only funnier, but makes more sense?

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Don’t make me get out my disemvoweller. Both real and fake trolls are at risk!

NOT THE DISEMVOWELLER! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THE BRIAR PA – I MEAN, DISEMVOWELLER!

 
 

Wow. Troofie must have budded off a new fungus.

 
 

Both real and fake trolls are at risk!

Thank god you aren’t a beauty pageant judge or we’d have a lot of flat-chested contestants.

 
 

“f y sw tls, th gnt wh hlds th wrld n hs shldrs, f y sw tht h std, bld rnnng dwn hs chst, hs kns bcklng, hs rms trmblng bt stll tryng t hld th wrld lft wth th lst f hs strngth, nd th grtr th ffrt th hvr th wrld br dwn pn hs shldrs–wht wld y tll hm t d?”

“ … dn’t knw. Wht … cld h d? Wht wld y tll hm?”

“T shrg.”

-yn Rnd

 
 

<blckqt>S, kds, f y fd th trlls thy kp cmng bck fr mr. Dn’t mk m gt t my dsmvwllr. Bth rl nd fk trlls r t rsk!

Dng dng dlly, Tntn, why y htn’?

 
 

Wht vr hppnd t frdm f spch? Wht’s th mttr rntntn K-9 cp? r y frd tht yr rdrs mght b xpsd t n ppsng vw pnt nd b frcd t ctlly thnk fr thmslvs?

 
 

Why do we keep expecting beauty pageant contestants to provide meaningful commentary on burning socuial issues anyway? They spend the equivalent of an average mortgage on boob jobs, tooth whitening, skin and hair treatments and modeling lessons, and now you want a pundit, fergawdssakes?

 
 

Pere Ubu @15:14:

THANK YOU!!!

 
 

I love it when our tribalist shitbags get all mad at their tribalist shitbags.

How long has it been since the All-American Super-Christy Brigade used to tell women that they were god-defying, traditional-family-destroying infidels for wanting to have careers and edumications and stuff? About five minutes?

 
 

“To shrug.”

-Ayn Rand

People always get this wrong. I chalk it up to the fact most people read the book when they’re stoned and fifteen, which is about the only way it makes any sense.

She wrote “To shurg,” which as we all know is Austrian for “to sneeze”.

Besides, what idiot doesn’t believe in science and the fact that the earth isn’t held up by a giant man with superhuman strength, who poses as an “Objectivist”? How moronic do you have to be to swallow THAT tale?

 
Shorter Chris Muir
 

Dare to stand up for free-thinking Americans’ right to legally consign gays to second-class status!

 
 

I see. It follows from Muir’s arguments that straight women may not judge beauty pageants either. Also the action of one annoying man (Perez) who happens to be gay reflects on everyone else with similar sexual taste. I’m glad I’m not judged all of a piece with others who share my taste in ice cream.

 
 

Great White Avenger

I sort of envision this turd as having taken his mom’s old sheets out of the laundry, cut eyeholes in a pillowcase, tied the bottom sheet around his neck, running around the yard shouting “ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!”

 
Disemvowel the chronic troll feeders too
 

It’s the only way.

 
 

They spend the equivalent of an average mortgage on boob jobs, tooth whitening, skin and hair treatments and modeling lessons, and now you want a pundit, fergawdssakes?

hey, it worked for Pam Atlass!

 
 

Th pnt ws tryng t mk ws tht fw strtgclly plcd nclr blsts n slmc cts mght jst scd n wkng th fntcs p t th fct tht thr jhd cnnt prvl.

My pnt ws tht f t wk p th qlly fntcl Jpns thn thr s gd chnc t wld wk p th mhmmdns s wll.

 
 

I think I have it figured out… took some time… so tell me if I have it right. In the last panel, is the girl dreaming or imagining she is in a burka (dream ballon from her head?). The dream burka girl is talking to the guy and he is responding to the dream ballon girl. How does this work? Does the guy have super powers, esp?

Are there rules to cartooning so it is not too confusing? Like panel punctuation and grammar?

 
 

What ever happened to freedom of speech? What’s the matter rintintin K-9 cop? Are you afraid that your readers might be exposed to an opposing view point and be forced to actually think for themselves?

Yeah, so where’s “home” for you trollbag? NRO? Free Republic? Malkin’s Lair? How many comments would anyone here be be allowed to post before being permanently shit-canned? For such dedicated defenders of “free speech” no one is a quick on the censorship-trigger as a wingtard with a blog!

 
Yes please disemvowell the troll feeders too, and while I'm at it it's ludicrous that I should have to change my name to Jesus-something-or-other just for the killfile people
 

Disemvowel EVERYONE who participates in ANY WAY in trollishness: real trolls, parody trolls (but not the ones that are really funny, like Coach) and especially the even-more-annoying-than-the-trolls troll feeders. Thank you for your time and attention.

 
 

What ever happened to freedom of speech?

What is it that makes wingnuts believe that the Constitutional guarantee that the government will not abridge the freedom of speech translates into the right for them to come on to someone else’s private property (like a blog) and rant bullshit at will?

Constitutional Freedom of Speech |= the “right” not to be ridiculed for being an idiot.

I’ve been kicked out of and banned from several wingnut blogs, and you don’t hear me whinging about my “free speech” rights.

 
 

Damn. The Cool Coach got wished to the cornfield.

 
 

Royalist Republican is pretty good, but he’s not Rugged in Montana.

 
 

I think the last panel is missing a fap fap fap!

 
 

dsmvl ths pnks!

 
 

What’s most amusing is the assumption on the part of Rightardistan that Miss California lost because of a non-PC answer.

No, she lost because in the process of delivering a non-PC answer, she revealed herself to be a blithering idiot. “Opposite marriage” was just the coup de grace; she had blathered on making no sense for several sentences before she arrived there. Her response would have made the same amount of sense if you had taken the speech given by that contestant in South Carolina a year or so ago and just tacked the phrase “opposite marriage” on to the end of it.

 
 

“What will you do when Obama forces us all to mass-marry the Illuminati reptilians? HUH??”

I’m pretty shallow, so I hope I get one of the sleek salamaderish ones and not something nasty like one of the iguanaish ones.

 
 

Fortunately, I have a dragon fetish, so these Illuminati reptiles are right up my shitbox.

 
 

Fortunately, I have a dragon fetish, so these Illuminati reptiles are right up my shitbox.

A toungejacking like you’ve never seen is what you can expect from our new reptilian overlords.

 
 

“Gay” “marriage” has a negative environmental impact. By encouraging homosexual intercourse, it releases methane into the atmosphere by increasing aggregate flatulence through the loosening of the anal sphincter.

The fact is, if liberals were truly concerned about global warming, they would be uniting with conservatives to stop homosexual “marriage”, rather than trying to regulate the energy industry out of existence.

 
Disemvowel troll-feeders?
 

and let the trolls have all the fun?

why do you want to restrict everyone’s right to free speech?

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Why do we keep expecting beauty pageant contestants to provide meaningful commentary on burning socuial issues anyway?

It’s sort of like how back in the 70s if pornos pretended to have a plot, they could be considered not-100%-smut and therefore not banned. So they tacked on some cheesy story to tie together all the fuxx0ring scenes. At some point the beauty pageant people must have gotten fed up with being called sexist and veneered the pageants a bit by letting the participants talk.

Cf. “I subscribe to Playboy for the articles.”

 
 

I want a divorce opposite-marriage!

 
Shorter Chris Muir
 

Marriage is a sacred union between one man and one contortionist.

 
 

Xecky–Yes, I remember Burt Parks saying something like, “And that was Miss Arkansas explaining her dream of ending world hunger, sufferering and war, wasn’t she great? Next up, the moment you’ve all been waiting for: the bathing suit competition!”, and thinking (the 70’s equivalent of) WTF? even at my young age.

 
 

I don’t know if that comment above was serious, but Holland has free speech. Read section 7.

 
 

(but not the ones that are really funny, like Coach)

And the arbiter of humour will be….who, precisely?

 
 

why do you want to restrict everyone’s right to free speech?

Cuz, you know, they want Firedoglake, but don’t want to be bothered with the mouseclick.

 
 

..it releases methane into the atmosphere by increasing aggregate flatulence through the loosening of the anal sphincter.

So all these Republicans with their heads up their asses are just doing their part to fight climate change?

Keep up the good work, Gary.

 
 

Yes please disemvowell the troll feeders too, and while I’m at it it’s ludicrous that I should have to change my name to Jesus-something-or-other just for the killfile people

Nobody makes you change your name. It’s just nice.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

thinking (the 70’s equivalent of) WTF? even at my young age.

Heh. What would that have been? Maybe “What’choo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?”

 
Shorter Chris Muir
 

Christ, those f@g$ scare me.

 
Chris Muir's Id
 

Christ, those f@g$ scare me.

And that makes me all tingly inside…

 
 

What ever happened to freedom of speech? What’s the matter rintintin K-9 cop? Are you afraid that your readers might be exposed to an opposing view point and be forced to actually think for themselves?

c.f. the entire fucking right-wing of American politics in the months post -9/11.

 
 

[snip] exposed to an opposing view point [snip]

c.f. the entire fucking right-wing of American politics in the months post -9/11.

Not to mention Ms. Opposite-View-Point California.

 
 

Oh no, gays exist! This hot chick thinks they’re subhuman filth. Are you dumber than a hot chick? I DON’T THINK SO!

Someone break both Chris Muir’s hands with a rock.

 
 

Every Muir comic I’ve read creates the same effect: They don’t quite make sense, let alone elicit a laff. It’s as though his comic-artist brain has just the teeniest bit of damage. I don’t care about the semi-soft-core-porno art style. They don’t SCAN, or something.

What? Their “ideas”? Please. “What’s the one group Hollywood has no trouble with” is…it’s not even snark. It’s not that it’s “wrong.” It’s nonsensical. At least when Julia Goren or Greg Guttfield make “jokes” about “liberals” you see the this-is-a-joke-however-retarded mechanism turning.

And then the chorus of fans call it brilliant.

Is this my daily Moment of Dada? Fine, okay, fine.

 
 

Are you dumber than a hot chick?

Yes. My wife.

But she doesn’t know my nym here, so I’m safe to say that.

 
 

“When asked by judge Perez Hilton, an openly gay gossip blogger, whether she believed in gay marriage, Miss California, Carrie Prejean, said ‘We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.'”

Sweetcakes, we don’t live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

c.f. the entire fucking right-wing of American politics in the months post -9/11.

Only for the first 94 months or so.

 
 

Every Muir comic I’ve read creates the same effect: They don’t quite make sense, let alone elicit a laff.

A reader over at Balloon Juice e-mailed Muir about him tossing “teabagging” about like he didn’t know what it really meant. Muir responded by saying he did know what it really meant, but that he was using it “in the classy way,” or something to that effect.

In short, I think the dude’s brain is a little scrambled.

 
 

And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that…

No matter what comes next- a stance against gay marriage, against abortion, against animal testing, for the designated hitter, for vinegar-based BBQ sauce- her attempt at smartz has already failed.

 
 

Is this the Fox News phony outrage of the week? I didn’t get the email from Murdoch.

 
 

Why are all the trolls speaking Welsh?

 
 

I thought it was Austrian.

 
 

Until the fourth panel, I didn’t realize you guys had changed the text.

I mean, you did change the text, right?

 
 

so, i want to make sure i have this right. an alleged “grown man” of 51 is making a comic strip in which he’s a lean, beefy dude who makes time with all the lovely ladies? didn’t the rest of us do that when we were twelve?

that’s really sad.

 
 

It’s so much funnier this way, in a way that Muir’s unintentional self-parody of “political correctness boogeyman puts individuals in burka.”

It’s always less pathetic when the humor is intentional.

 
 

Well that makes no sense. I’ll go read the original.

HA HA HA HA That’s so funny! Because it’s TRUE! HA HA HA HA

Ahem.

Is “Chris Muir” an actual living, breathing person? Seriously.

 
 

… be forced to actually think for themselves?

Again with the projection.

 
 

We are the Chris Muir. Resistance is futile. Fap fap fap.

 
 

Also

Heads will be aspoldin.

 
 

“What’s the one group Hollywood has no trouble with” is…it’s not even snark. It’s not that it’s “wrong.” It’s nonsensical.

Well, it’s obviously Muir’s half-assed way of doing the tired old “Christians are the last oppressed minority” bullshit. Which, as anyone who’s paying the slightest bit of attention can tell, is indeed bullshit.

 
Mouthful of Kelp
 

Prepare for not-at-all anti-Semitic cries of “JUDAS!” in 5… 4… 3… 2…

 
 

BWAHAHAHASHAHA

Arlen “One Bullet” Specter has defected. Way to go GØP!

 
 

Aw, Spirula beat me to it.

 
 

Clever move by Specter. But then he still has to win the PA Democratic primary in 2010, no? Could work out well for everyone.

Oh yeah, except for the rapidly disintegrating Republican party. Ha-ha!

 
 

OH NOES FLIBUSTER PROOF MAJORITY NOW TEH COMMUNIST COINSPIRACY CAN PROCEED OH NOES!!!11

…oh, wait, I forgot I was part of TEH CONSPIRACY. Never mind.

 
 

The Spectre’s going blue?

 
Wyatt Watts III
 

Kind of interesting that Muir is able to draw a character that looks a lot more like Perez Hilton than he’s able to draw a character who looks anything like Miss California. Might this suggest he spent a lot more time staring at pictures of Perez Hilton than he did looking at Miss California?

Also, why is the beauty pageant contestant in the Muir cartoon unable to turn her head? I’m a little concerned that she has a serious neck injury.

 
 

Also, why is the beauty pageant contestant in the Muir cartoon unable to turn her head? I’m a little concerned that she has a serious neck injury.

That would make sense given the bizarre facial deformity apparent in the third frame.

 
 

And the arbiter of humour will be….who, precisely?

Richard Cohen. Man knows from funny.

And are we supposed to take from this comic the only reason she lost was that she was anti-gay marriage? Because damn is she butt-ugly. Eyes and mouth seem to drift, wrist badly broken, and OMG THAT RUBBERY SPOON FINGER. Hideous.

 
 

Is “Chris Muir” an actual living, breathing person? Seriously.

I’ve always wondered if his “jokes” are actually generated by a primitive “ELIZA”-like artificial intelligence program (written in FORTH or COBOL) seeded with wingnut “liberal” tropes like “PC” and “multicultural”. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Or they could have come up with their own high-level computer language known as Pusillanimous End-of-Times Nutjob Idiot Symbology (aka PENIS.)

 
Mouthful of Kelp
 

Kind of interesting that Muir is able to draw a character that looks a lot more like Perez Hilton than he’s able to draw a character who looks anything like Miss California.

In Muir’s defense, he wasn’t really trying. That’s “Sam”, the allegedly apolitical girlfriend of the main character, who is having the dream sequence. She’s a gun nut in her early 40’s who happens to (a) have the body of a 24-year-old and (b) tacitly agrees with everything the righties say. In other words, Muir’s dream girl.

 
 

Heh. Specter changes parties, which means once Franken is seated, the Dems have 60 seats.

Suck on that, tards.

 
 

Damn, sorry for repeating what others had already posted. Missed it when I skimmed the thread.

 
 

Of course, Muir’s pagent contestant is also about 10 times more coherent and comprehensible than the real Miss California. The stupidity of her answer isn’t so much that she opposes gay marriage, which is merely bigoted, but that she tries to spin it as a positive connotation of “choice” – in “choosing” to have a repressive, bigoted country that denies gays the right to marry. Choices for everyone!!

 
 

In other words, Muir’s dream girl.

Mother of twins, IIRC.

 
 

And are we supposed to take from this comic the only reason she lost was that she was anti-gay marriage?

Yes.

In order to avoid the cliche of SA2SQ, I’ll add that it’s not her politics that I find most offensive, it’s her stupidity and arrogance. If one reads the whole exchange, those characteristics come through pretty clearly.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I’ve always wondered if his “jokes” are actually generated by a primitive “ELIZA”-like artificial intelligence program (written in FORTH or COBOL) seeded with wingnut “liberal” tropes like “PC” and “multicultural”.

The blogger at Comics Curmudgeon believes much the same about the Archie comic, only its computer is more benign.

 
 

Specter changes parties

Do not want.

 
 

There should be no debating this; real “American”* BBQ sauce is vinegar based. So as far as I am concerned, and I am pretty sure I speak for all “Americans,” Texas, with it’s wrong thinking about this matter should just get the hell out. Oh and SC you mustard based BBQ sauce sucks.

*yea they’re scare quotes.

 
 

I like the touch of reversing the R in “Florida” on the sash. Not sure what it means, but it amused me.

 
 

My question is, who will the “real” Dems run against Speculum in THEIR primary? Almost anyone would beat the hard-right Taliban, Uber-Repub who was fixin’ to beat Arlen like a rented step-child. How fun if he ends up being rejected by BOTH parties!

 
 

I’m with RB. Do we have to take Specter?

To be fair, there are Democrats who are as bad, if not worse.

 
 

In central Texas, the Austinish part, BBQ is 1: beef and 2: lightly sprinkled with a sauce that is pretty much nothing but vinegar and chiles. When I lived there most people I knew denied that Austin was actually a part of Texas.

 
 

Just to step back a moment, albeit not as FAR back as I’d like. . .
this was the _Miss USA Pageant_. You could call it the Pepsi to
Miss America’s Coke, but it’s more like the RC Cola or Mr. Pibb .
That said, it seems a little unkind to let gay men do the gowns, hair,
makeup and set design, and NOT let them be one of the judges.
I do wish it was someone less trivial and annoying than Perez Hilton
(which, granted, covers a lot of ground), but presumably Mr. Trump wanted him to do it, and PH wanted the check.

Personal fantasy – if PH had asked instead, “So, Miss California – what
do you think will happen to your Jewish friends after they die?”,
imagine the knots Dennis Prager would tie himself into defending her
answer.

In closing, TinTin, thank you for this. I read the original first, which
greatly enhanced my appreciation of your smackdown.

 
 

And such as.

 
Mouthful of Kelp
 

“So, Miss California – what
do you think will happen to your Jewish friends after they die?”

I’m sure the Right would be all over Hilton for ambushing her with a trick question. He knows perfectly well that she doesn’t have any Jewish friends!

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Yes, the Big Failywood types are pissed about Miss America, but their poutrage about that pales in comparison to their apoplexy about Janene Garafolo using the word “redneck.” They’ve been milking that one for two weeks.

 
 

That’s “Sam”, the allegedly apolitical girlfriend of the main character, who is having the dream sequence. She’s a gun nut in her early 40’s who happens to (a) have the body of a 24-year-old and (b) tacitly agrees with everything the righties say.

She also just gave birth to twins, who look really, really, really creepy.

 
 

In central Texas, the Austinish part, BBQ is 1: beef !!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!!

Ok STOP RIGHT THERE. You can not expect to get full credit for the second half of you answer if the first part is wrong.

Correct answer = pork

There only two things that come from Texas: steers and non-opposite marriage peoples. And I don’t see no horns on you.

 
 

Dan D said,

April 28, 2009 at 17:25

I don’t know if that comment above was serious, but Holland has free speech. Read section 7.
——————————————

I didn’t say that Holland doesn’t have free speech. I said whatever right to free speech they have doesn’t matter, what with it being a different country/government/etc. It was just in response to a certain someone talking about how something that happened in Holland with a comic somehow applies here in the U.S. In that context, it doesn’t really matter whether Holland has free speech or exactly how it differs from ours.

 
 

There only two things that come from Texas: steers and non-opposite marriage peoples. And I don’t see no horns on you.

Oh damn, I’d never heard the PC form of this. I simply must remember this.

 
 

Yes, actor212 that line was taken from the movie “An orifice and a Genderman.”

 
 

“Someone break both Chris Muir’s hands with a rock.”

Based on the evidence of his, er, “artwork”, I’d say someone already has.

 
 

Sorry, correct answer is Brisket.

 
 

There should be no debating this; real “American”* BBQ sauce is vinegar based. So as far as I am concerned, and I am pretty sure I speak for all “Americans,” Texas, with it’s wrong thinking about this matter should just get the hell out. Oh and SC you mustard based BBQ sauce sucks.

That sound you hear is me—a Kansas City native who knows a thing or two about BBQ—clapping approvingly. Nicely done, sir.

Oh, and I’m convinced the only naked woman Muir has seen is his mom, and she had some terrible physical deformity — eyebrows that went OVER her hair, an upper torso that swallowed bra straps whole, a torso that disappeared when she laid down … just … damn.

 
 

mmmm…….. Missouri dry-rub baby back ribs.

PeeJ

Brisket??? Brisket?? (Said in the voice of Allen Iverson) We are taling about brisket? We ain’t talking about the BBQ. We talking about brisket?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGDBR2L5kzI

And BTW, where I am from (MN) BBQ consists of hamberger mixed with chicken gumbo soup, catchup and brown sugar. AKA sloppy joe.

 
Disemvowel the chronic troll feeders too
 

actor212 said,

April 28, 2009 at 17:32

why do you want to restrict everyone’s right to free speech?

Cuz, you know, they want Firedoglake, but don’t want to be bothered with the mouseclick.

Awww, the trolls stop arguing long enough to stick up for for each other’s free speech rights. They fight all the time but deep down they know they need each other. It’s kind of touching.

 
 

tigrismus: in re “Richard Cohen. Man knows from funny.”
Are you talking about the guy who thinks you can cure homosexuality by beating a sofa with a tennis racket and getting prolonged hugs from your therapist?
‘Cause, yeah, he’s funny, but not quite intentioonally.

 
 

There should be no debating this; real “American”* BBQ sauce is vinegar based.

Affirmative.

(Eastern North Carolinian born and raised.)

 
 

Yeah, so Arlen Specter switched sides, giving the Dems a filibuster-proof majority in theory. I mean, you’ve got guys like Evan Bayh, conservative Democrats, who will maybe vote D and maybe vote R. It’s cool that he’s joining, I guess, but it’s not a magic bullet.

 
 

Oh yeah, and the Perez Hilton figure looks like he overdrew an actual photo. If he could just do that with his own characters, the strip wouldn’t give me nightmares. Of course, he would lose his own “distinctive style” I guess, but when your grasp of anatomy makes Boris Vallejo look like Henry Vandyke Carter, it’s a style worth losing.

 
 

It’s cool that he’s joining, I guess, but it’s not a magic bullet.

Cute.

The idea is that on important bills, aye votes can be horsetraded for. It’s how the Obama stimulus package was passed (with Republican help in the Senate, including Specter).

It’s not a guarantee, but the Whip’s job is to see that it does happen. Remember in Clinton’s first years, his Democratic majority tested his mettle endlessly. Obama has enough insiders and enough stroke to loom large over any recalcitrant Dem. He couldn’t easily do that against Republicans.

 
 

I think anybody who’s proven that they don’t know what the female body looks like shouldn’t be a beauty contest judge. Sorry, Muir.

 
 

Bill: no, it’s the Washington Post Richard Cohen, who after the Colbert dinner said “First, let me state my credentials: I am a funny guy. This is well known in certain circles, which is why, even back in elementary school, I was sometimes asked by the teacher to “say something funny” — as if the deed could be done on demand. This, anyway, is my standing for stating that Stephen Colbert was not funny at the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner.” Google richard cohen funny for the column, which wasn’t funny, and the liberal blogospheric response, which was.

 
 

Seriously, gang. Let’s try to look at this guy’s work as fairly as possible. I’m an artist, so I approach Muir’s stuff from that perspective. And because there is no other perspective, as he wisely avoids any content.

But these pictures — look, first of all, he’s copying photographs. And the bits he hasn’t copied, or for which he couldn’t find a suitable picture, are poorly drawn. Look at the carefully rendered cheesecake picture in which she’s stepping into pants, complete with between-the-thighs glimpse of ass-below-pooty, as we were taught in art school. Notice that the arms aren’t anatomically accurate, while the rest is? He traced a bod shot and added in new arms.

But more than that — and I don’t know why we want more, but hey — this entire strip (so to speak) is just a masturbational exercise disguised as political commentary. I want to like his drawing technique. It shows promise, except when he is drawing anything except girls, or fooling around with Photoshop effects (like blurring the backgrounds; he obviously hopes to get an animated show on Fox). But the fact of the matter is he doesn’t care about anything except drawing tits and ass, and if a bunch of right-wing hard-ons will pay for him to do so, he’ll play ball. Or pocket pool. His formative influences appear to be Cokie Roberts and Patrick Nagel. I bet George Will whacks himself senseless to these comics, crouched on the toilet.

Really, what’s Muir’s point here? That beauty pageants are sexist, and no fags allowed? But that’s cool because it was all just a dream, and now she’s going to get laid by a real man? It’s the meta-weirdness of his thinking that I find so bothersome. He’s sneering at liberal moral laxity at the same time he’s creating just the kind of prurient stuff he declaims.

His mindset seems to be locked in a sort of late 1990’s time warp when young conservatives were straining to become hipsters, primarily by sheer force of income, and were starting to paint their dining rooms in bold colors and get little tribal tattoos somewhere easy to cover up and on weekends wearing an earring in whichever ear homos don’t have earrings in. Back in the day, they all started dressing sexy and acting like players (cue montage of cigar clubs, martini bars, etc.) but none of them were getting laid, always because they were so busy making money, or waiting for marriage, or the cocaine was too speedy last night — never because they were abrasive, perspiring douchebags with frigid debutantes for women. The same blue-balled yearning informs every frame of Muir’s comics.

I apologize for the length of this screed, but it pisses me off when someone that could be an artist (with all the rewards and deprivations of the calling) decides instead to make a quick buck copying pictures out of Victoria’s Secret catalogs and adding in dialogue from old Mallard Filmore dailies. He’s just another junior Leni Riefenstahl, without anything like as much talent.

 
 

Mr. Wonderful said,
Every Muir comic I’ve read creates the same effect: They don’t quite make sense, let alone elicit a laff. It’s as though his comic-artist brain has just the teeniest bit of damage. I don’t care about the semi-soft-core-porno art style. They don’t SCAN, or something.

That’s it exactly. Maybe he is going to start doing dream sequences only, so that the lack of narrative and comprehension can be blamed on “it’s a dream”.

 
 

Chris Muir likes to draw boobies.

 
 

Nah, it’s a dream because there’s no plausible way for a supposedly 40-year-old mother of twins with no beauty contest experience to be in a major competition like that. I mean, there’d have to be a story arc leading up to it, and for what? a throwaway burka gag?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

They teach ass-below-pooty in art school?

 
 

Rusty, they don’t specifically mention it but you’re supposed to notice. I sure did.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Just like Picasso, except

Chris Muir gets called “asshole”

 
 

Ass-below-pooty and pulled pork sauce in one post. It just don’t get better that that. I think I better go have a smoke now.

 
 

I don’t know which sucks harder. Big Hollywood or this guy’s cartoon ass cramp.

 
 

You do realize that your parody dialogue is less dumb than the original, right? Of course it would be hard to do it any other way.

 
 

It’s like I’ve always said, if you want to win a beauty pageant in this country, you have to preface every answer with “As an athiest…”

That’s how you win a beauty pageant in the Yoo Ess of Eh.

 
The Goddamn Batman Has A Sore Throat, He Doesn't Think That It's Sw*n* Fl*, But He's Gonna Breathe Extra-Hard On Criminals Just In Case
 

You know, Chris Muir is really showing his age when he continues to demonstrate that he relies on crudely-drawn pictures of women to masturbate to.

 
 

you need to show this to every budding thinker you know

…so as to nip that pesky thinking in the bud? Great idea!

 
 

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