Apr
22
22
Duff Ire Next Time
Warner Todd Huston, RedState
Those Dangerous Tea Parties: Are YOU the Threat We’ve Been Waiting For?
Some things we all need to carefully consider before something gets out of hand.
- Grave and ludicrous are these astonishing and maliciously concocted police-state accusations that the right is prone to violence.1 So in that light, should our tax protests become a terrorist rampage? Not yet, moo hoo haa haa.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
1 If you sense something missing here, you probably know what it is, too. “And look over there!” the Shorter would continue if brevity were less central to the concept, “Guilty of this exact thing is the left, who are unfairly getting away with it due to a bias which favors them.” The best example of this in recent memory was a comment at some Tea Party site somewhere that ransacked the dictionary and then concluded, “Everything is projection with the left — everything.”
Joe Max said,
April 22, 2009 at 11:05
That’s right, damn them and their stupid “elections” and pussified “democratic process”! Damn them all to hell!
jim said,
April 22, 2009 at 11:19
Attribution fail dead ahead! Either that or this freak thinks Obama has mastered time-travel … & judging by all the surreal shit they’ve accused him of already, that’s a real possibility.
Translation: when we whine for it you have to give us what we want or we’ll smash your face in. Today tantrums, tomorrow the sword.
We wingnuts are world-famous for our peace-loving ways – until someone messes with our neocon Free Lunch gravy-train, that is. We think you might be thinking of messing with it … I mean, gosh, this is a real nice Administration you got here, Mr. Obama – it’d be a real shame if anything bad were to happen to it, heh heh heh.
M. Bouffant said,
April 22, 2009 at 11:22
What a colossal rube.
By his second paragraph he’s already wondering how to justify violence.
and he uses the last three to demonstrate that he’s either deaf or has ADD. Where does he get those constructions?
What’s w/ this guy, & all these rubes? Their ideas of history are as half-baked as their command of English.
M. Bouffant said,
April 22, 2009 at 11:36
Whew. I was afraid I’d be first, & look, you know, premature or sumpin’.
D Johnston said,
April 22, 2009 at 11:41
Anyone notice this becoming more common lately? Dude, you guys lost. You lost democratically. The fact that you managed to scrounge up a few hundred thousand people for your protests doesn’t nullify the nearly 10 million people who voted for Obama over McCain.
The Tea Parties really brought this out. There are an awful lot of right-wing types who are acting under the assumption that they won and yet Obama wound up in office anyway. Maybe he used his Antichrist brainwashing powers to make Rs look like Ds in Pennsylvania.
Joe Max said,
April 22, 2009 at 11:43
I’d be amused to try to nail Warner and his pals down as to what they’re advocating with this kind of declaration. We see it a lot these days and are sure to see it more and more.
I mean, say they’re sick and tired and not going to take it anymore. Their tea parties are laughed at. Their protests don’t make the Obama administration kowtow to their demands. Dems gain more seats in 2010, perhaps even 60+ in the Senate. Then what? Oklahoma City-style bombings? (Repeatedly?) Storming legislatures with guns? “Death squad” murders of liberal politicians?
What exactly are you threatening, Warner Todd? Be specific.
Smut Clyde said,
April 22, 2009 at 11:45
Where does he get those constructions?
I can only agree with M. Bouffant that preemptive excuses for violence are so much worse when they are Ineptly worded.
Megann McAlthouse said,
April 22, 2009 at 11:47
Unreal. He begins his article by whining about a report on rightwing extremists who may resort to violence. Then he writes a few hundred words on being a rightwing extremist who may resort to violence.
So, Warner, we shouldn’t be concerned about you?
Just Alison said,
April 22, 2009 at 11:48
Jesus Murphy, I’ve about had it with these whining tosspots and their trembling terror of Big Bad Barack. Ferchrissakes, do they ever take a break?
Honestly. That DHS report. I imagine when the previous one, talking about dangerous nutcase leftists, would have had them clapping their damp hands and squealing “Round ‘em up and shoot ‘em all!”, as though anyone who evinced views to the left of Ghengis Khan was a dangerous lunatic. Then, when the same measured tones weigh in on dangerous nutcase rightists, they start howling about Hitlobama and his tyrranical gubmint, and wetting their pants.
But it is, at least, consistent for them. After all, they have a problem with discrimination. I don’t mean that they don’t discriminate in the perjorative sense – they’re pretty fucking good at that. I mean they lack the ability to discriminate. For instance, they fail to understand the logic behind “That one instance of X is Y does not imply that all instances of X are Y”. So all leftists are crazed leftists. All Muslims are crazed Muslims. And all right-whingers are completely innocent for ebbar and ebbar and ebbar, so help me god.
I mean, it’s not that hard, really. Is it?
Smut Clyde said,
April 22, 2009 at 12:18
a so-called threat assessment that seems to assume that every American that holds center right views is dangerous and declaring that nearly half the electorate is prone to “right-wing terrorism.”
Clearly Mr Huston is fortunate enough to have access to the vault copy of the DHS report, which differs in many crucial respects from the version leaked to the public.
Either that or he’s a lying dirtbucket.
Fuck on Toast said,
April 22, 2009 at 12:25
I thought it was the beard that was missing.
Just Alison said,
April 22, 2009 at 12:33
Fuck On Toast, I think the beard took the brain with it.
lobbey said,
April 22, 2009 at 12:33
The Tea Parties really brought this out. There are an awful lot of right-wing types who are acting under the assumption that they won and yet Obama wound up in office anyway.
Obama didn’t win, it was ACORN and his far left black panther sympathizers that stole the ballot, with the help of the socialist, fascist, Islamic dhimmi followors. Also, he is not American, he is Kenyan/Indonesian/muslim/flemish, please try and keep up…
N__B said,
April 22, 2009 at 13:00
Backward ran the sentences until reeled the mind.
javafascist said,
April 22, 2009 at 13:12
Passive Aggressive, thy name is wingnut. You could shorten that shorter and go with “Why do you make me hit you?” What an ass.
Freud said,
April 22, 2009 at 13:23
Everything is projection with the left — everything.
That statement has to be one of the best examples of projection I’ve seen, nicely done.
Honus said,
April 22, 2009 at 13:30
They’re going to resort to violence if the government is unresponsive to their protests? Sounds like the wingnuts are going all Bill Ayers on us.
What I want to know is violence against who? and how? I rememebr Chicago ‘68, and I don’t quite se this bunch pulling that off. The extra-chromosome brigade might pull off another OK City or Waco. Which would pretty much prove the DHS report to be right.
Scott said,
April 22, 2009 at 13:39
While I’m at least comforted that the overwhelming majority of wingnuts are craven cowards who’d never do anything to risk their own necks, that still means there might be a few dozen in the country with enough bravery/lunacy to actually blow up some buildings. Those are the people Todd is writing to.
Honus said,
April 22, 2009 at 13:41
“I’d be amused to try to nail Warner and his pals down as to what they’re advocating with this kind of declaration. We see it a lot these days and are sure to see it more and more.”
Joe, I’m wondering too. I’m also a little pissed off after 8 years being told to leave the country if I didn’t like their president, who wasn’t even elected by a majority in 2000. Somehow it never occurs to these idiots to leave the US if they don’t like government and move to a free, no-tax, no-gun-law country like Somalia.
So once again, they are enraged by something (the DHS report) that offends them because it happens to be true.
J— said,
April 22, 2009 at 13:46
With regard to Huston’s prose: He is in stiff competition with Gamecock for the title of most authentic, most spontaneous RedState writer.
Till said,
April 22, 2009 at 13:58
I think Gamecock wins by default for the name. And sheer universal wrongness:
Uh, isn’t “sweet tea” a Southern thing? We yankees just say “iced tea”, which may or may not be sweetened.
El Cid said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:02
The reason we must work so hard to build up a cult of unchallengeable and above-the-law Unitary Executive power during right wing presidencies is so that we can prepare for the threat to our basic civil liberties posed by liberal presidents.
Mrs Tilton said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:11
Mmmm…. Duff!
D Johnston said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:15
Isn’t Gamecock the name of some crappy small-time game studio that’s known more for their stupid, Jackass-esque stunts than their games? Probably a coincidence.
And J- is right about Gamecock being “spontaneous.” He’s really a master of that “is he trying to be funny, or is he genuinely insane?” style of writing that wingnuts love. Take this article, where he seems to claim that liberal environmentalists caused the Black Death.
MzNicky said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:16
What I want to know is violence against who? and how?
I think we know who. It’s the how they’re working on.
Living down here in Redneckistan, I’ve been hearing these buzzings since before the election. It’s rising to a rather steady hum now.
El Cid said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:19
MzNicky: As a fellow Southerner, the question to ask is “Are Southern conservatives ready to get their asses kicked once again?”
Dave said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:21
I for onre don’t believe this country knew what they were getting with Obama. The American people couldnot have rea”ly wanted thid kind of “change”.
They voted for him to make themselves feel good about electing a black guy, and that’s why his approval ratings are high.
Christ, what is WRONG with this country? Are Americans really this STUPID?
MzNicky said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:21
isn’t “sweet tea” a Southern thing? We yankees just say “iced tea”, which may or may not be sweetened.
That’s cuz you-uns don’t know how to make decent iced tea. You have to make sweet tea by pouring in the sugar while the tea’s still hot. Not the same when you try dumping sugar into cold tea to sweeten it.
59 Les Paul Copy said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:21
“… as they have assumed (or have assumed they have assumed)”
I, sadly, don’t understand the understanding, as I understand (or don’t) it.
Dave said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:30
Did I mention he’s BLACK?!?!?!!?!
MzNicky said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:32
El Cid: I don’t know about in your neck of the woods, but around here it’s not uncommon to still see those bumper stickers that show a grizzled old hillbilly coot gripping his Rebel flag and saying “Hell No I Ain’t Fergettin’!”
It’s a particular kind of jackass-stubborn ignorance that I just don’t think will ever go away. We’ve got more and more progressives around here than ever, which is swell. But this kind of good-ol’ boy is down-on-the-ground dangerous and that’s all there is to it. If you haven’t lived around this kind of fear, ignorance and pure meanness in your life it’s maybe hard to understand that it exists. It’s a planet apart from dipshit big-mouthed but basically cowardly wingnuts ranting and blathering on blogs.
El Cid said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:44
No, I get it. There are a number of dangerous right wing ruralist / reactionary Southern types. But I think that their degree of dangerousness is limited. It’s not limited to the individuals they’re threatening or killing or firebombing, for those that go off that end. But they’re looking for a can of whoop-ass to get opened on them if they think their reactionary end-times threats of violence will push or scare or threaten the entire nation. Those days are gone — this ain’t the 1980s where tons of Southern conservatives are newly streaming in to the post-Civil Rights Republican / Reaganite party. These asshole Southern right wingers have led national politics for 30 years and now everyone except their tiny, dwindling base hates them. And I don’t think any mass number of people are going to put up with their threatening bullshit long at all.
They really, really thought, for example, that their tea party shit was going to “scare” the people, the country, or liberals. It didn’t. They don’t know how to deal with that. Some of them will think that if they go the even more threatening or violent route, that that will work. I have to break it to them — it won’t.
white knight said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:48
Joe Max–You kids are gonna get 60 seats in 2010? Really? You can’t even get Franken seated, and he won his election. :)
D.N. Nation said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:55
I miss Warner T-Hizzle’s beard.
Same Length White Knight said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:57
I freely admit that Republicans are sulky children who defy the will of the people and keep duly-elected people from doing their jobs.
El Cid said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:58
We Republicans believe in the sanctity of having courts award us elections we lost. This is a proud American tradition, when it’s for Republicans.
MzNicky said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:58
Some of them will think that if they go the even more threatening or violent route, that that will work. I have to break it to them — it won’t.
I think you’re right. I also agree/hope that the country as a whole has had it with the Rethugs’ hate and stupidity. But what I worry about more these days is the lone nut who feels he’s been pushed too far and who can do a lot of damage. Obama is just too perfect a target for that kind of unthinking rage.
Dave said,
April 22, 2009 at 14:59
I think the mood in the country will be different in 2010zm I wouldn’t get overconfident if I were you. Chris Dodd is already in trouble! How do you like them apples?
Dave said,
April 22, 2009 at 15:01
2010? Heh, Chris Dodd is already in trouble.
Shorter Republican Party said,
April 22, 2009 at 15:05
We have no ideology or methodology beyond the desire to win — which served us so well the past two elections.
Shorter Sadly, No! said,
April 22, 2009 at 15:15
Isn’t it funny how paranoid conservatives are about the DHS? Nevermind that we on the left pissed in our pants over Bush’s DHS for eight years.
Uncle Ned said,
April 22, 2009 at 15:22
Wow, the quantity of irrational stupidity contained within that Warner Todd Huston essay that Gavin links is overwhelming.
But here’s the deal. These right-wing dingbat bloggers are stupid, delusional and mentally unstable, yes indeedy, and they create enough comedy gold in their relentlessly stupid babblings to feed our mirth for hours a day, but they are, like Warner Todd Huston, mostly tubby and effete douche bags incapable of the kind of violence they imagine in their childish and highly warped little minds. This Huston guy would shit his pants if you merely pointed a finger at him.
But just imagine how deranged and scary the illiterate right-wing racist crazies are out there who couldn’t construct a single paragraph of intelligent thought if their lives depended on it. And they do exist, and they’re fucking crazy, and now with a black President they have probably gone over the edge just like the redneck racist crazies did when Teh Clenis was President. Maybe even more so nowadays.
A fat, doughy, blogging dork like Warner Todd Huston is all bluster and hot air, but there are scary, assault-gun-wielding redneck fuckers out there in Teh Heartland who are quite capable of the most appalling violence imaginable. And they are even more irrational and delusional that this Warner Todd Huston dingbat.
So take this Warner Todd Huston’s stupidity and irrationality and multiply it by about 10,000, and add to it a propensity for real violence that fat little poopstains like Warner Todd Huston cannot even imagine, and then consider what the DHS is really facing out there in the crazier sectors of redneck Jesusland. In my opinion it’s only a matter of time before something truly horrible happens.
So while I laugh at and mock dipshits like this fat fucking idiot Huston, I’m also very aware of the real threat that exists out there.
Tone in DC said,
April 22, 2009 at 15:31
Is Dave actually (pseudonymonically speaking) Gary R./white knight/every other winger out there?
Just sayin’.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
April 22, 2009 at 15:43
Tone in DC: all one d00d.
moondancing said,
April 22, 2009 at 15:50
I read between the lines and see a nutless coward trying to sound tough.
yam said,
April 22, 2009 at 15:50
But, but, but…
I thought that elections had consequences.
The GOP said,
April 22, 2009 at 15:59
On the subject of Coleman, Bush 2000, etc, – we are totally, firmly, absolutely against judicial activism, except when we are for it.
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:01
Gavin, I’m afraid to click.
Is he truly this stilted? It’s nearly incomprehensible.
The GOP said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:01
On the subject of unchecked Executive powers – we are totally, firmly, absolutely against that travesty, except when we are for it.
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:03
On the subject of unchecked Executive powers – we are totally, firmly, absolutely against that travesty, except when we are for it.
Ah, the Professor Wagstaff rule!
The GOP said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:04
On the subject of domestic spying – this is terrible when done by a crazed Administration, but perfectly fine if done by us.
And by “crazed Administration”, I mean any one that is democratically elected by Americans without voting machine fraud.
Nosfer-blart-two said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:06
Sure, we know the wingtards have enough guns to be trouble. The question is do they have enough meth to be trouble? Swastika tattoos and gun racks in the pick-up aren’t enough, they need that meth. Too much and they go on convenience store rampages.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:10
I liked him better when he looked like the walrus with the bucket.
Nom de Plume said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:11
For comparative purposes, just how nutty did the rightwing get back when Roosevelt was president for 12 years and the Dems took over everything? I know that the Depression brought out quite a bit of extremism on both sides, but was there a lot of eliminationist talk to go with it? Maybe wingers were just a bit saner in those days. Or they all lived in Axis countries.
g said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:12
for onre don’t believe this country knew what they were getting with Obama. The American people couldnot have rea”ly wanted thid kind of “change”.
Sorry, Dave. Name one thing Obama has done so far since January 20 that’s a contradiction of what he said he’d do while on the campaign trail. People who were listening voted, and knew what they were voting for.
g said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:15
just how nutty did the rightwing get back when Roosevelt was president for 12 years and the Dems took over everything?
Actually, I’ve been reading some old family letters, and my family were Southern Democrats. They became anti-New Dealers, and the letters are, interestingly, quite similar to the rhetoric floating around in wingnut circles, involing the evils of socialism at every turn.
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:18
Christ, what is WRONG with this country? Are Americans really this STUPID?
We elected Bush twice, how much more fucking evidence did you need????
Darth Revan said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:19
Maybe wingers were just a bit saner in those days.
Well, the wingers of today haven’t quite regressed to the point where they’re wearing white sheets, burning crosses and shooting up churches.
Though if Huston’s ship of illogic keeps on its present heading….
Darth Revan said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:25
Oh, wait. Dur. Silly me.
MzNicky said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:32
The Supreme Court and then Diebold s
Weelected Bush twice and we put up with it, how much more fucking evidence did you need????FTFY.
tigrismus said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:32
Did he sit back after writing this, lace his fingers behind his neck and smile, thinking “job well done, old man?” With such internally inconsistent argumentation yoked to artificially overblown rhetoric, how could he not be proud?
I’d say he was a bottomless well of stupid, but having seen his photo if there’s one thing he ain’t it’s “bottomless.”
MzNicky said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:36
Nom de Plume: FWIW, my mother (in her 80s) recalls her dad ranting and railing when Harry Truman became President after FDR died, and how the whole country was going to go socialist or get run into a ditch or blow up or whatever. He was a racist redneck Kansas farmer, and I doubt his was a lone voice back then and there.
Dave said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:39
G–
Ok, how about pulling out of Iraq and having the most “transparent” and “ethical” administration ever? Instead he is staying in Iraq for several more years and has filled his administration with tax cheats like geithner and petty Chicago thugs like Rham Emmanuel.
Actor212–
Our country had a moment of clarity earlier this decade, but has lost it becoming soft, effemenete, and Oprahized. No wonder it was hypnotized by a two bit charlatan like Obama and turned on Bush.
Dave said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:42
Merica was in the midst of a moment of clarity and resolve earlier in this decade, but has sadly lost its collective mind.
This may even be worse than the 1990s.
N__B said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:55
I’d say he was a bottomless well of stupid, but having seen his photo if there’s one thing he ain’t it’s “bottomless.”
The metaphor that comes to mind is Lucy being overwhelmed when working on the assembly line at the chocolate factory. There’s an infinite supply of soft nuggets of stupid coming along, and the only reason to try eating them all is to play it for laughs.
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 16:56
The Supreme Court and then Diebold sWeelected Bush twice and we put up with it, how much more fucking evidence did you need????
I was speaking Idiot, MzN, but thanks for the correction.
The Goddamn Batman Is Bringing The Kicksplode Revolution said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:03
No, dear, that was from the phone sex operator, right after she told you that the freaky shit would be extra.
mingo said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:28
infinite supply of soft nuggets of stupid
soft, brown, stinky nuggets.
maybe not a chocolate factory…
Gus said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:29
First time I’ve been to RedState in months. I had forgotten how much stupid can be stuffed into one blog comment section.
Rusty Shackleford said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:35
Please, PLEASE let them stage violent tax protests.
Obama has tanks.
Joe Max said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:43
No, it’s better than that.
Let them stage violent tax protests in places like South Carolina or Oklahoma, where their Governor has no choice but to call out the National Guard. Make a fookin’ wingnut favorite son like Sanford have to order troops to put down a wingnut insurrection. Or even better, let him refuse to call out troops to quell right-winger street violence, and see how that plays in the rest of the country.
Self-destruction, thy name is wingnut.
sponson said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:43
The CFO of Freddie Mac has been found dead, an apparent suicide. Begin counting the minutes until wingnuts post a Vince Foster-mortage-securities conspiracy theory.
Smiling Mortician said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:46
I just felt something go bumpity-bump. A couple hundred thousand wingnut hearts palpitating?
And can I just say that that only thing I love as much as a Gavin post is The Goddamn Batman and his many incarnations?
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:46
The Tea Parties really brought this out. There are an awful lot of right-wing types who are acting under the assumption that they won and yet Obama wound up in office anyway.
Yet more “Me-Too” politics from them, as was the case with Lewinsky. We impeached (or attempted to) their President so they had to take one of ours down. Similarly they had their shambling monstrosity take the White House by underhanded sliminess and so they think the same applies here.
Really, they shouldn’t even be allowed to talk about “projection”. They have more projection than 1970’s Times Square.
Jim/The Velvet Blog said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:48
Sponson, you’re hours too late:
http://chicagoray.blogspot.com/2009/04/cfo-of-freddie-mac-commits-suicide-can.html
I’m sure there’s more out there like it. I did a Google search around 9:30 this morning, ’cause I knew it was going to happen, and that came up right away.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:48
Please, PLEASE let them stage violent tax protests.
Obama has tanks.
Once again, it took them almost 3 years of Clinton before they started muttering dark imprecations about “either the ballot box or the cartidge box”. It’s been three MONTHS and they’re right there already.
I hate to think what they’re going to look like along about 2011 or so. Maybe the Maya were right about the end of ages.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:49
the frightening abuse of policing powers evinced by Obama’s Department of Homeland Security
Irony, thy name is wingnut.
MzNicky said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:50
If violence occurred during a tax protest, toward whom would it be directed? Perplexed passers-by? Stray dogs? Each other? (If only.) Or would they just run around and set cars on fire and break store windows, to show their dissatisfaction with … uh … having to pay taxes? Is this what happens when those who must always have a boogy-man enemy finally run out of boogymen — they end up just hitting their own selves? I do sincerely wish them good luck with that.
Rusty Shackleford said,
April 22, 2009 at 17:58
The RedState commenters’ sigs are hilarious. The Dante and Churchill quotes are both misattributions.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:01
The Dante and Churchill quotes are both misattributions.
I don’t know about Churchill, but I’ll be gobsmacked if any of the tiny minds over there have ever read The Divine Comedy, much less The Inferno.
tigrismus said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:03
Feminists burned their bras, anti-Vietnam war protesters burned their draft cards, maybe tax protesters should burn their paychecks until withholding stops.
J— said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:03
The Dante and Churchill quotes are both misattributions.
Everybody knows Tocqueville said those things to Santa Anna over tea at the Alamodome.
PeeJ said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:03
But if elections and the democratic process fail to impress government officials against their habits where does that leave future protests?
I’m still stuck on that bit. It’s an unscalable wall of stupid. It’s an infinite ocean of neurotic. It’s anti-reality all the way to the edge of the universe. And beyond. It’s idicoy transecting every one of the parallel cosmi. Even though I prepared, when I read that it was like hitting a psychosis-bump at 200+.
So, I’m stuck. I’m sorry I can’t make any comments about anything in that post after that. Sorry.
N__B said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:04
If violence occurred during a tax protest, toward whom would it be directed?
Most likely, the nearest passers-by who look “different.” In order of their preferred targets, that means those with dark skin, those wearing symbols of non-christian religion, those whom they perceive as gay, women, and non-knuckle-walkers.
J— said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:05
Blame John F. Kennedy for planting that phrase in Dante’s inferno.
cowalker said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:09
Shout out to Bill Ayers from Huston: We completely understand why you did what you did.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:10
Blame John F. Kennedy for planting that phrase in Dante’s inferno.
Okay, I call “bullshit”, even if it is JFK.
The truly neutral, who were actively neither good or evil, end up being outside of Hell in the Vestibule, being chased by stinging insects as they forever pursue an uncatchable banner. (see? Allegory, kids! Allegory!) The devils (i.e. angels who rebelled) get to cover the Bolgia, dunking sinners in boiling pitch and slicing bits off those who divided others (allegory again). And for that matter the worst place in Hell, Caina, is actually the coldest.
See what I mean? Clueless. Pitiful that a pagan like me should know more about Dante than a bunch of self-proclaimed followers of Christ.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:12
When is violence justified? Certainly we have seen by history that sometimes it is unavoidable even if not altogether desired. It is also a sometimes effective tool to effect change. Further it is something that our own countrymen have used effectively, indeed a tool with which we gave birth to the nation.
Shorter Warner Todd:
You have to break some eggs to make an omlette.
J— said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:12
Kennedy got it wrong.
Major Kong said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:16
just how nutty did the rightwing get back when Roosevelt was president for 12 years and the Dems took over everything?
Many Republicans wouldn’t even speak his name. They would call him “That man in the White House” or just “That man”.
cowalker said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:18
at 18:10 Pere Ubu said,
Yikes. Bodily integrity after death not looking good for Rush, Fox media and the Bush administration.
Rusty Shackleford said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:19
RedState is behind the curve, still talking about taxes. Janeane is the fresh outrage.
PeeJ said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:20
@Freeperville, link to abc story of Kellerman’s death is posted @ 7:45:06.
gocart mozart said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:23
“There is also the unpredictability factor when protests occur. After all, as I said, anger is the motivating factor of any protest. Emotions are high and some people can’t maintain that non-violent demeanor for long when amongst the emotional high of a mass protest. Additionally, some people never intend non-violence in the first place and use the excuse of a protest to indulge their inner anarchist. These sorts of people are often the catalyst for government overreaction via the police or military. Here I am reminded of my favorite quote from the 1968 Democratic Convention where Chicago’s Mayor Richard J. Daley told reporters that the Chicago police weren’t there to cause disorder, they were there to preserve disorder. Ah, the man was truly an ignoramus.”
“Now, being aware that these intense emotions lie just under the surface of a protest is a must for organizers of such things. To imagine that everyone will comport themselves as if observing civilized Marquis of Queensbury Rules is not a given. Furthermore, we can’t merely assume that mass non-violent protests will force government to make the policy shifts that the protesters desire. It didn’t work for the anti-war nuts over the last eight years, did it?”
Change the word “nuts” to “movement” in the last sentence and the above could have been written by Bill Ayers in 1969.
tigrismus said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:24
Yeah, PeeJ, that one flummoxed me, too: what does the Lolrus expect to be the impression on someone(well, some Democrat, anyway) who just WON AN ELECTION, that he or she should not follow through on campaign promises etc. because some smaller number of people voted for the guy who lost?
Rusty Shackleford said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:37
Its very consistency leads us to forget what a goldmine RedState truly is.
Viz.
Followed, mere inches later, by:
Yummy.
gocart mozart said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:41
I swear I did not see cowalker’s post before I posted my Bill Ayers exact same comment.
JGabriel said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:42
Good lord, they’ve projected they’re projection onto us!
.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:43
Yes, we are to feed the sick, cloth the naked, visit the imprisoned, but these are Christian duties, not governmental ones.
Hey, RedStater – folks like you are always claiming we’re a Christian nation. What if God meant for you to pay your taxes to a central source, where those duties could be fulfilled by people on a large scale – like, oh, say, call it a “Welfare” agency or something?
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:48
Shout out to Bill Ayers from Huston: We completely understand why you did what you did.
Nice one. Unfortunately, the wingnut mind is such that people aren’t heroes or villains because of things they say or do, it’s because of what group they belong to. So Huston can simultaneously emulate and demonize Ayers without thinking there’s a contradiction.
Without thinking anything, in fact!
There are plenty of other examples among several wingnuts, but most are over the Godwin horizon.
Quaker in a Basement said,
April 22, 2009 at 18:51
Hey, I didn’t know Scalia had a son!
Bitter Scribe said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:03
When does it become necessary to slap these whining assholes across their flabby faces?
At what point do we make it clear through violence, which I am CERTAINLY NOT ADVOCATING, that we’ve had enough of their race-baiting and general stupidity?
When does introducing the possibility of violence through “questions” and “speculation” get seen for what it is—a passive-aggressive tactic by nasty, vindictive little turds who are too wimpy to vent their seething resentments by engaging in violence themselves, or even calling for it directly?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:15
So, a guy who belongs in a self-styled “Strike Force” is whinging about how he’ll reluctantly have violence thrust upon him by the duly elected governing body? How droll…
Imagine the butthurt these folks’ll feel when their July 4 Teabaggings are dwarfed by the counterprotests. I can picture Huston now, saliva-slicked dewlap jiggling as he stamps his wee little feet, and pounds his keyboard with his soft, dimple-knuckled hands.
Sentimental Cynic said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:22
What we’re forgetting is that this is not just violence at a policy they disagree with. This is violence aimed at stopping an imaginary policy they disagree with. They’re taxes got fucking cut!
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:27
Imagine the butthurt these folks’ll feel when their July 4 Teabaggings are dwarfed by the counterprotests.
I’m not sure they’ll be so much counterprotested as ignored. Most people will be more interested in grilling hot dogs than listening to these goobers whine.
J— said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:34
Speaking of teabaggers, GOPMom on what to do next:
Yes, please, please do all of these things.
Fight the power!
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:36
Most people will be more interested in grilling hot dogs than listening to these goobers whine.
If I didn’t traditionally work on the fourth (with my crunchy hippie not-for-profit cohorts), I would totally attend a teabagging party and grill up some E. coli burgers for the teabaggers so they could revel in the glories of deregulation.
WOLVERINES!!!!GASTROINTESTINAL PATHOGENS!!!!Jennifer said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:36
These are subjects we all must carefully think about, historical lessons we must all drink in, all of it directing our actions now. It is the age-old question that should not be dismissed out of hand, questions that often come to bedevil protest movements. Government officials also must take heed before their arrogance leads us all down that road that we do not want to travel.
As I’ve said before, they’re just resorting to the oldest, most shopworn play in the book: “Elect us, or we’ll make you wish you had.”
By which, of course, they mean they’ll carry on another decade-long tantrum, just like they did in the 90s. Unfortunately for them, no one is really willing to play along this time.
g said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:38
I’m not sure they’ll be so much counterprotested as ignored. Most people will be more interested in grilling hot dogs than listening to these goobers whine.
Truly, think about what people do on July 4. I can’t really see anyone but the truly dedicate Nutballs to go teabagging on a long weekend. The kids are home from school, there’s fireworks to go to – the teabagging events don’t offer anything to attract a family. Can you imagine the kids whining, “Dad, do we really have to hold these signs and wear THAT?”
I would imagine, too, with every municipality in the country holding a major celebration, there aren’t going to be a whole lot of permits granted. The mainstream holiday celebrations probably have every venue locked in by now, and no police departments are going to want to add to their overtime covering bone-heads as well as budgeted fireworks celebrations.
Although I would like to see these guys – who appear to be totally incompetent at event planning – attempt to set off some fireworks in a public space without securing a pyrotechnical permit. That would be fun.
Oh, and celebrate the founding of America by ranting against the elected government? That’s just too funny for words. Do you think FOX will gain much ad revenue covering that?
tigrismus said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:39
Yes, we are to feed the sick, cloth the naked, visit the imprisoned, but these are Christian duties, not governmental ones.
Actually, in Deuteronomy God demands that community food storage be set up so that the priests, widows, orphans, and foreigners(suck it, ‘pubbies!) will be fed. Every three years, one tenth of everything you harvest goes into the storehouse. This is in addition to interest-free loans to the poor that must be forgiven in the seventh year, and the rights of the poor to glean and to eat from standing grain. I think Proverbs, etc are all pretty clear about how leaders are supposed to treat the poor, and how they are judged if they fail.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:43
I would totally attend a teabagging party and grill up some E. coli burgers for the teabaggers so they could revel in the glories of deregulation.
That’s evil. And hilarious.
Topical said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:46
I’m not sure they’ll be so much counterprotested as ignored. Most people will be more interested in grilling hot dogs than listening to these goobers whine.
I’ll be too drunk to ignore them, but I’m very sincere.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:47
Oh, and celebrate the founding of America by ranting against the elected government?
Sure, so long as your signs and rants make it clear that by doing so, you’re the real patriot.
“We have to secede because we’re more American than America!”
How can you not think that that’ll go over huge?
RobNYNY said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:49
Fox News reported that 800,000 people attended teabagging events across the country last week. I love doing math on things like this. That means we have a range of 100 parties with 8,000 attendees each, or 1000 parties with 800 attendees each. The the biggest group I saw in the coverage was the one in Washington, DC, with about 200 people, though it was hard to tell, since the coverage scrupulously avoided showing the size of the crowd. In fact, I did not see a single picture that showed the size of any of the crowds. My guess would be that if there were 1000 parties with an average attendance of 50, the total attendance is more like 50,000. And I’m being very, very generous at that. That’s about the same number that used to go see Pavarotti in Central Park, or just more than go a Yankee game.
Here’s a link to a picture that shows about 3,000 people (it’s the Met Opera auditorium, so I didn’t need to count or rely on estimates). I sure didn’t see crowds like that in the coverage, and that would have to be the average for 266 parties to get to 800,000. There are only 155 cities in the United States with populations of 150,000 or more, so Rockford, IL, and Sioux Falls, SD, would have to produce crowds like that, plus 100 smaller cities.
http://pro.corbis.com/images/U1528084.jpg?size=67&uid=%7BA81021A0-E23E-4A4E-AC22-8CAEA21062A3%7D
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:52
We impeached (or attempted to) their President so
theywe had to take another one ofourstheir down.Fixed your post to reflect the mentality of the GOP.
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:53
Fox News reported that 800,000 people attended teabagging events across the country last week.
Or 2.5x the actual count.
Fox is learning how to count, apparently.
Ripley said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:54
Did that motherfucker just threaten me?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:54
That’s evil. And hilarious.
This is why I’m not the Big Nice Fuzzy Bunny.
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:56
If I didn’t traditionally work on the fourth (with my crunchy hippie not-for-profit cohorts), I would totally attend a teabagging party and grill up some E. coli burgers for the teabaggers so they could revel in the glories of deregulation.
WOLVERINES!!!!GASTROINTESTINAL PATHOGENS!!!!
No….
BOWELRINES!!!!!!!!!!!
Big Nice Fuzzy Bunny said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:56
Who wants a sandwich?
59 Les Paul Copy said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:56
They estimated 5,000 in Madison, Wisconsin, which probably wasn’t that far off– maybe twenny-fi’ hunnert or so.
justme said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:58
“But if elections and the democratic process fail to acknowledge that our small group of fringe extremists has the God given right to rule every inch of the nation, we’re just going to have to start blowing shit up! How dare they write a report that says we’re dangerous!”
Or perhaps, the classic…
“Nice country you got there. Shame if something were to, you know, happen to it.”
Seriously, where exactly is the line crossed? At what point, legally, does howling their hate to the rafters become yelling fire in a crowded theater? I’m actually curious about that. I have no doubt that they are well aware of that point, and are purposely skimming the atmosphere in their hyperbolic exhortations. It should be interesting to see which of them can’t hold the helm from the pull and either dive right in headlong or burn up by cutting it that much too close.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 22, 2009 at 19:58
BNFB, make it a hasenpfeffer sammich, and you’re on (toast, that is).
gocart mozart said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:02
From a link upthread by Jim/thevelvetblog. Don’t tell me you didn’t know this was bound to happen. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the ultimate in wingnut shark jumpin’ stoopidery.
http://chicagoray.blogspot.com/2009/04/cfo-of-freddie-mac-commits-suicide-can.html
BARACKACIDE !!eleventy!!
“I guess the stress got to the man who’s in charge of the numbers over there, or someone’s henchman went to work on him last night because he may hold the keys to the truth of the entire Financial Tsunami that’s taken place having worked there for 16 years?
That would be my bet.. but let’s see what falls out over the coming days on this one…Could it be the start of a new Washington illness called “Barackacide”? Is it the ’90’s all over again with the Clinton trail of dead bodies all over the landscape of people who dared to tread to close to the Slick and the Skank?
Here’s the Bio page at Freddie Mac on this gentleman and again don’t bet a 41 year YOUNG man with a boatload of money, a family and seemingly great job (although at a completely dirty institution) just decided Wednesday was a great day to blow his brains out with no apparent suicide note.
Again seems like a suicide committed back in the Clinton days of that old friend of Hillary who was a lot closer to her than we were told, A Mr Vince Foster….
PeeJ said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:03
Have you seen the Fox tape where Cavuto discusses, off air, the crowd size? Sveeral times says “it could be as much as 5000.” Goes on air one minute later and sez “5000 expected but this crowd is easily double or triple that.”
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:03
But if elections and the democratic process fail to impress government officials against their habits where does that leave future protests?
You mean the folks we duly elected last November? I’d say most of them were impressed.
tigrismus said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:05
Imagine the butthurt these folks’ll feel when their July 4 Teabaggings are dwarfed by the counterprotests.
Nah, any counter-protesters, grillers, parade watchers, bagpipe players, suntanners, etc within a variable multi-mile zone will be added to their teabag protest crowd totals. “Everybody in the country celebrated our do-mi-do day! WE WIN FOREVAR!”
PeeJ said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:07
linky. Includes bonus KO bitchslap.
Jacob Singer said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:09
“Nah, any counter-protesters, grillers, parade watchers, bagpipe players, suntanners, etc within a variable multi-mile zone will be added to their teabag protest crowd totals.”
Exactly. They’ll plant a couple of Joe the Plumbers over in the corner and take pictures of the crowd gathered for fireworks and declare victory.
cowalker said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:09
at 18:41 gocart mozart said,
The funny thing is we each picked out different parts of that relatively short blog post. We can only conclude that pretty much every single sentiment in the post corresponds to Bill Ayers’ thinking in 1969.
So why was it so bad that Obama palled around with a protestor who recognized the limits of non-violence and was forced by an arrogant government to go down that road that we do not want to travel?
PeeJ said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:10
Ahh, July 4. It’s a lovely day for drinking and for watching people die.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:11
Seriously, where exactly is the line crossed? At what point, legally, does howling their hate to the rafters become yelling fire in a crowded theater?
When the next Ryder truck full of ANFO goes off.
(“but but but doncha know that was the Iraqis behind Tim McVeigh and he was being mind-controlled by the Skull & Bones as part of the NWO and it was actually a seeeeekrit mini-nuke planted in the building by the Mossad just like 9/11 and there was a thrid guy who was all dark and Mooslimy which proves it was Ayrabs and not white guys and it wasn’t Rush’s fault at all for inciting violence ’cause he just said stuff and you can’t arrest someone for that even if legally you can and yadda yadda blah blah blah urp!”)
Gary Ruppert said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:12
The fact is, it is you liberals who have driven conservatives to radicalism, by raising taxes on working Americans, by the porkulus spending and earmarks bills socialism, by bowing to dictators and apologizing for America, the greatest country on Earth. You will not be tolerated by the masses any longer.
D.N. Nation said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:14
From the last thread…Chuckles J. can continue his journey back into SaneLand by addressing all the times he tossed out the Saddam-wuz-behind-OKC bullplop.
commie atheist said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:14
The first thing I encourage all of you to do is write. Write every single one of your elected representatives, from the President down to your local school board and tell them you attended a Tea Party and let them know you will not stand for any more government interference and encroachment in your life and the private sector of our economy. Tell them you have had enough of reckless spending, punitive taxation and growth of government. Tell them you will not tolerate a single tax hike – not on energy, not on property, not on production – not a single one. Tell them you do not want National Health Care, don’t believe the global warming hype, will not stand for amnesty for illegal aliens.
And don’t forget to mention how much you dislike Green Eggs and Ham.
David said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:19
Besides calling for Grassroots Gatherings® for days on which people are already gathering, the Wingnuts will call for people to wear clothes, blue jeans for instance, in order to protest Obama’s socialism/fascism.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:20
Tell them you do not want National Health Care
Yeah, simplify health care delivery by eliminating the redundancy and complexity of private insurance and making it as cost-efficent as Medicare? Why, crazy talk, that is. I for one know I SO love to hang on the line for (in total) hours on end every month with insurance plans trying to get them to cover the medicine they’ve been covering for the last year. Why would I ever want to give up the fun of a customer whose insurance coverage demands a number they didn’t even print on the card? Jeez, take away what makes health care so great a field to work in, see if I care.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:20
“Fox News reported that 800,000 people attended teabagging events ”
Assuming those numbers are not inflated, 800 000 / 300 000 000 (U.S. Population, approx) = 0.00266666667. Two point six thousands of one percent of the population; what a groundswell of popular support!
gocart mozart said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:22
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090422100847AAXGieH
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2235076/posts
That Girl said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:23
Tell them you have had enough of reckless spending, punitive taxation and growth of government.
I would have loved if these people had been on this bandwagon during the Bush administration. This is why we can’t take them seriously, though. In the end, all they care about is rooting on the GOP like sports fans.
WOLVERINES!!!11eleventy!!1
P.S. I can’t believe they’re already accusing Obama of murder. Beyond the fact that it’s cliched to the extreme, if you discuss the things GWB ACTUALLY DID, you’re unAmerican. If you speculate that the sitting (war time!) President murdered someone – with only your creepy delusions to back it up – that’s what? Responsible? Peak wingnut? Please tell me that this is as bad as they get.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:25
Assuming those numbers are not inflated
Oh, yeah, why would G.O.P. Izvestia there ever think of inflating the numbers in such a situation?
My guess? Shave a couple zeros off the end and it’s probably closer to reality, if their Eagle-whatever prowar rallies are any indication.
g said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:25
Fox News reported that 800,000 people attended teabagging events across the country last week.
Weren’t Nate Silver’s numbers more like 200,000?
kingubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:27
Exactly.
“See? Bazillions of good Murkins rose up to grill dogs and watch fireworks in protest of that evil usurper they overwhelmingly elected 8 months ago!!!”
We joke now, but I betcha they try it.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:27
The first thing I encourage all of you to do is write. Write an incoherent, ungrammatical screed with references to the ZOG, the ZOMG!!!, black helicopters, black nationalists, fluoridation, Freemasonry, Free Silver, Free Love, the Bilderbergers/Trilateralists, the Ancients of Mu Mu, the deros, mind control through the new HDTV transmissions, re-education camps, re-Ned-ucation camps, Scarlett Johanssen clones, and what the queers are doing to the soil!!!
Johnny Coelacanth said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:28
“Assuming those numbers are not inflated”
It was a very generous assumption. One might even say a liberal assumption. Ad argumentum, etc.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:31
black helicopters, black nationalists
“Yeah, WHAT color do those have in common, you sheeple? THINK about it! The NWO planned for the Obamanation to be SELECTED years ago! Any minute now those British Ghurkas will be invading from Mexico to take our guns away!”
Johnny Coelacanth said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:33
“the deros”
Hey, I got that reference! Hollow earth FTW.
PeeJ said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:34
Weren’t Nate Silver’s numbers more like 200,000?
1. Nate Silver’s numbers are all scientifficky so you can’t trust them. Burn the books!
2. They used Karl Rove’s math. You know, THE math.
gocart mozart said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:35
black helicopters, black nationalists and a black president! Coincidence? Or is it. DUNT DUNT DAH!
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:37
by raising taxes on working Americans…You will not be tolerated by the masses any longer
This is the best parody Gary I’ve seen yet.
Snorghagen said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:38
Lots of choice lines in that Warner Todd Huston piece.
Uh huh.
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:39
Weren’t Nate Silver’s numbers more like 200,000?
250,000, but he later adjusted them upwards to over 300,000.
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:39
B^4,
You forgot the gold standard, but I’m impressed with the comprehensiveness of your list!
Ken Lowery said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:40
After all, as I said, anger is the motivating factor of any protest.
Not true. I was at the anti-Prop 8 rally in Dallas and it was a warm experience. The only hate came from the six pitiful anti-gay marriage types whose bullhorn was drowned out by us chanting positive phrases.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:40
Hollow earth FTW
True and totally OT story –
I used to listen to a guy who had this really great radio show where he’d talk about wierd stuff – kind of like “Coast-to-Coast AM” except more open-minded and less batshit conservative-insane. At one point he had this lady on who was talking about her communications with the Space Alien brothers who lived in the Hollow Earth. Out of nowhere, she starts in with this crazy-ass rant about the Nazis and white supremacy and how the Aryan Space Brothers were working to keep TEH WHITE MAN safe… you could tell the poor bastard who was interviewing her had NO idea this was coming, was immensely embarassed by the whole thing, and far as I can recall he found something else to talk about for the second half of the show.
Bigby said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:42
They picture themselves like Wolverines!!! but they’re more akin to David Koresh. In any case, both met the same end against Superior Firepower.
Two days ago I met an asshole in a bar selling bumperstickers, one of which read: “Revolution is brewing”. I asked him if we were “at war” still in Iraq and Afghanistan. He said “yes”. I said, “what would’ve been your reaction if I put that bumpersticker on my car in, say, March, 2003″. The bottom line of his response was “because, shut up, that’s why”.
I told self-described liberals last night the above story and they said “I don’t have any problem with that, it’s free speech”.
Which is why liberals have a tough time. My car would’ve been flaming heap in about 20 minutes for that sticker in 2003 (in Baltimore! I’d probably be dead if I were in Redneckistan) and these assholes can literally espouse sedition, in their self-defined “time of war” and pay no penalty.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:43
P.S. I can’t believe they’re already accusing Obama of murder.
Dear girl, it seems that you’re a little behind the times.
In fact, a saucy little blog you might enjoy covered this ground as well.
tigrismus said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:47
Any minute now those British Ghurkas will be invading from Mexico to take our guns away!
Those tiny pickles are in for a world of hurt.
Nom de Plume said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:48
They would call him “That man in the White House” or just “That man”.
Okay, so the wingers in Roosevelt’s day were a good deal more civilized than they are now. Thanks for answering my question.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:51
Nate got up to 300,000. But that was relying on whatever estimates were available. “1000″ was a very popular number though. For dozens of teabaggeries, the only estimate available from any source was 1000. You know that when a small town newspaper reports attendance of a protest at 1000, they didn’t make the slightest effort to make a realistic estimate, and probably wouldn’t know how to anyway, so they just reached for a nice round number.
Whatever the real number of teabaggers was, it was pretty damned low. The tiny numbers in DC showed how low the average motivation is amongst them. It is one thing to drive a few miles into the nearest city of any size, and quite another to get your fat middle-american ass over to DC.
I think as far as “popular” movements go, the story will go a little like how it went with those border milita dickheads. They will get some press whenever they do or say something outrageous, and they will hang around for fucking YEARS, but never gain much support, because they don’t have any inspiring or even memorable leaders.
The teabaggers arn’t going to do anything useful for the GOP, since all they do is preach to the choir. All they can do is do is stir up the old white people, and the old white people demographic just isn’t powerful enough anymore to count.
The most they are going to do is trick the GOP into thinking they are relevant, and make sure the 2012 nominee repeats their soundbites and panders to their demented ideology. So 2012 is going to be Obama in the blue corner, vs. a goddamn teabag in the red corner. Ohhh… it is going to be fun to watch.
Nom de Plume said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:51
Liberals have the sometimes unenviable task of defending the 1st amendment rights of assholes and know-nothings, because nobody else is willing to do it with any consistency. It’s a thankless job, to be sure.
Nom Nom Nom da Plum said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:54
I got nothing, I just wanted to use this pseudonym. I like plums, especially if they’re cold and breakfasty.
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:56
Nom Nom Nom da Plum
Nom da Prune works, too
g said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:57
They would call him “That man in the White House” or just “That man”.
Not “That One”?
That Girl said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:59
My parents both had liberal/Democratic bumperstickers peeled off their cars, on more than one occasion, while sitting in parking lots in California. They would, of course, never do such a thing since they believe in the Bill of Rights as applied equally to everyone.
BBBB, thanks for the links. Where have I been? I only got the “OMFG Obama is a radical muslim!!” email.
PeeJ said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:59
This has got me baffled. I just have no idea what to say. I was thinking of citing this as whingnut training or something but…*
* that’s a very ominous ellipsis, mind you
Nom de Plume said,
April 22, 2009 at 21:01
I’ll thank you not to mock a nym that I spent many nanoseconds dreaming up.
Righteous Bubba said,
April 22, 2009 at 21:05
Wish Thers a happy birthday.
Nom Nom Nom da Plum said,
April 22, 2009 at 21:06
I wasn’t mocking you, brother. I just wanted an excuse to go “nom nom nom.” What? Like I should be working or something?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 22, 2009 at 21:08
You forgot the gold standard, but I’m impressed with the comprehensiveness of your list!
I had actually typed it out, but I preferred the flow of “Freemasonry, Free Silver, Free Love”. If I had a do over, I’d have written “Freemasonry, Free Love, Free Silver, Colloidal Silver” to encompass more loonery.
I love you folks, I couldn’t imagine any of my co-workers being hep to Shaver Mystery jokes.
Justice Stephen Breyer said,
April 22, 2009 at 21:14
In my experience when I was 8 or 10 or 12 years old, you know, we did take our clothes off once a day, we changed for gym, OK? And in my experience, too, people did sometimes stick things in my underwear.
Or not my underwear. Whatever. Whatever. I was the one who did it? I don’t know. I mean, I don’t think it’s beyond human experience.
PS – eat more ice cream!
Spirula said,
April 22, 2009 at 21:23
Wow! It’s almost like WTH’s post is a call to arms
justme said,
April 22, 2009 at 21:25
Which is also one reason we’re demonstrably better than they are. We don’t need to bully to win. It can be difficult, though, stifling the prehistoric urges to smack the fuck out of assholes.
As to numbers, let’s see… 300k, spread out over the whole country so that nobody has to drag their fat ass too far or be bothered that much, or about a tenth of a percent. Hmm, I wonder what the most recent large gathering of Democrats might have been. Oh, yeah! There was that little shindig down in DC where we swore in a new President. I believe it drew around five or six times that many folks all the way to the Capitol.
For those who couldn’t make it, the number of folks taking time out of their day for it to watch on the tube was nearly 38 million, plus some 20 million CNN video streams, seven million from Akamai, and Farking the BBC servers.
Keep at it, guys. You have a loooooong way to go.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
April 22, 2009 at 21:29
250,000, but he later adjusted them upwards to over 300,000.
And even that was based on newspaper numbers which were sympathetically inflated – to compensate for their undercounting war protesters, no doubt – or lazy, like Sockpuppet #47 said.
So yeah, Fox is applying to that number the upward pressure that surprises exactly nobody.
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 21:36
And even that was based on newspaper numbers which were sympathetically inflated – to compensate for their undercounting war protesters, no doubt – or lazy, like Sockpuppet #47 said.
They tend to take the police numbers, and the police numbers are inflated in order to justify the manpower requests and overtime put in.
No one sits there and counts heads. At best they might grab a satellite photo or surveillance from choppers and estimate based on the square footage of the protest divided by 3 or so.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
April 22, 2009 at 21:46
the square footage of the protest divided by 3 or so.
Don’t forget to carry the nutjob.
laym said,
April 22, 2009 at 21:50
[...] Scarlett Johanssen clones [...]
Please do not insert sane fantasies into lists of insane ones. Thanks!
Also, ideas, subscribe, newletter, also.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:01
At best they might grab a satellite photo or surveillance from choppers and estimate based on the square footage of the protest divided by 3 or so.
How many wingnuts can you get in a square foot, anyway?
actor212 said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:02
How many wingnuts can you get in a square foot, anyway?
If you stack them head to toe, you can get eleventy dozen. But then there’s a helluva mess left behind.
MzNicky said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:07
g@19:38: Thanks for pointing all that out. Excellent points.
But — don’t anyone tell the teabaggers!! Shhhh
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:13
Please do not insert sane fantasies into lists of insane ones. Thanks!
It seems to be a meme that has been rollin’ round teh t00bz for a while, but I was first made aware of it at Pee Zed’s place.
How many wingnuts can you get in a square foot, anyway?
Depends on whether or not you use a blender.
cowalker said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:18
Hmm. I’ll have to be sure to wear my Obama T-shirt to the fireworks display so I can’t be counted as a tea-bagger.
BTW, I am a bit surprised that they haven’t started to edge away from the Tea Party theme, perhaps to something like “Free Fifty Day.”
commie atheist said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:19
Nice smackdown of neocon pro-torture talking points here:
http://tpmtv.talkingpointsmemo.com/?id=2409648
commie atheist said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:21
You forgot the gold standard, but I’m impressed with the comprehensiveness of your list!
The gold standard is the gold standard of conservative liberalism.
MzNicky said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:21
My car would’ve been flaming heap in about 20 minutes … and these assholes can literally espouse sedition, in their self-defined “time of war” and pay no penalty.
Well hell son, go find the asshole and set his car on fire! :-)
Sockpuppet #47 said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:25
Whilst I suspect the numbers from smaller towns are very unreliable, the DC figures are probably quite accurate, if they are from the police. After all, protests are every day shit to the DC police. They should be good at these estimates by now.
Of course, it is understandable that the crowd sizes might be badly estimated. Remember these are wingnuts we are talking about. They have a 25% larger average diameter than a liberal, and this throws off the usual mathematics. 35% larger for texan teabaggers of course.
Then you have to factor in the homophobia and bad breath, which increases the distance they stand from each other by an average of 14 inches.
Also, every Paultard in the crowd occupies approximately 35 square feet each, because nobody wants to stand next to them.
Crowds are also 58% denser for a 20 foot radius around any female attendee. The variable for attractive females is unknown, but our research suggests that should an attractive female ever attend a teabagging, the wingnuts would crowd in so close it could cause a black hole to form, destroying the earth.
Also, “sovereign citizens” take up half an acre each, since this area around them is an independent nation, and they shoot illegal immigrants on sight.
To confuse matters further, attendees with pointy heads will look smaller than they really are on satellite imagery. Another down side to using photos to estimate crowd size is the difficulty in telling conservative pundits from lamp posts. One possible hint is that lamp posts tend to be vertical, whilst pundits list over slightly to the right.
In certain parts of the country, the attendance of dogs and farmyard livestock may also confuse numbers. In some cases the dog should be counted towards the total, but the owner should not, since the dog is a thinking brain dog for the mentally impaired. (similar to a seeing eye dog for the blind.) Pigs should not be counted, unless they are the common law wife of a human attendee. This can be difficult to guess at, check the photos for traces of lipstick.
Also, remember to check for attendees who were unable to navigate the DC public transport system, and ended up holding a smaller protest inside the nearest strip club, at least until they got kicked out for putting gold kugerands into the dancers G strings.
Lastly, do NOT ask an attendee or organiser for an estimate. Wingnuts use different counting systems to the ones we do. Remember that “many” means four, and that some use a base 24 system (based on the number of cans in a case of budweiser) which may result in an incorrect total. If the person you ask starts to take off their shoes when asked for a number, just walk away. If they take off their pants, RUN.
commie atheist said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:26
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:43
P.S. I can’t believe they’re already accusing Obama of murder.
Dear girl, it seems that you’re a little behind the times.
http://myrightwingdad.blogspot.com/2008/07/fw-obama-death-list.html
BBBB, I don’t believe that’s an accurate list. There are no comptrollers on it.
MzNicky said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:34
My parents both had liberal/Democratic bumperstickers peeled off their cars, on more than one occasion, while sitting in parking lots in California.
That Girl: Oh, what my poor little Toyota has been through over the years down here in Redneckistan. Once someone removed a bumper sticker (“Just Say No to Sex with ProLifers” ), apparently with a screwdriver, from my car while it was parked at the airport. The one that said “God is Coming, and Is She Pissed!” didn’t last very long, either.
commie atheist said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:34
PeeJ said,
April 22, 2009 at 20:59
This has got me baffled. I just have no idea what to say. I was thinking of citing this as whingnut training or something but…*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4FNGsNY3nI&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fboingboing%2Enet%2F&feature=player_embedded
Peej, that baby makes a lot more sense than most TV preachers I’ve seen.
Of course, the fact that babies are great at mimicking behavior they see on a regular basis, without having the slightest fucking idea of what they’re doing or saying, would have no impact on your typical religious wingnut who thought that the kid was being possessed by the Holy Spirit, or somethin.’
Jacob Singer said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:34
I’d just like to take a moment and kiss a little Sadly, No! ass.
You folks rock.
Seriously.
You helped me get through the last election cycle and you’re pretty much keeping me grounded now. You’re smart, funny, and, by all accounts, probably very attractive.
I mean, I’m not gonna give you any money or anything, but I still click here multiple times every day.
Thanks.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:39
Of course, it is understandable that the crowd sizes might be badly estimated. Remember these are wingnuts we are talking about.
[snippage]
One must account for the giant sammiches and blow-up sex dolls, as well.
MzNicky said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:42
PeeJ: Someone sent me the barking baby preacher clip today. That’s one of the more terrifying things I’ve seen lately. Too creepy, on so many levels.
PeeJ said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:44
Totally OT. Maybe I could accuse the Oregonian of hiring writers from RedState?
—————
Fire officials suspect arson in early morning North Portland fire
by The Oregonian
Wednesday April 22, 2009, 1:00 PM
Helen Jung/The Oregonian
Portland arson and gang investigators are looking into a house fire early this morning ignited after someone tossed two incendiary devices into the home.
———–
Why is print media dying?
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:46
Helen Jung
No offense to her, but that name sounds like one of those joke names fratboy-types love so much (ex. Mike Hunt).
PeeJ said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:48
The bestest part, MzN, was at the bottom of the page:
PeeJ said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:49
Don’t hold your breath for it as I am obviously HTMilliterate.
Brandi said,
April 22, 2009 at 22:56
I hate to think what they’re going to look like along about 2011 or so.
It’ll be like the horse in Young Frankenstein: you just say “Obama!” and they’ll start squealing
and shitting themselves.Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:02
To be fair to Helen Jung, she probably didn’t write the headline.
That Girl said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:04
Wow, a screwdriver? That’s vandalism right there. Good thing the law doesn’t apply to them.
Back in around 2002, I had the “Somewhere in Texas, a Village is Missing an Idiot” sticker. I came out to my car one day, and there was a big bootprint over the sticker where someone had, I guess, kicked my bumper. I was just surprised that they understood the sticker’s meaning.
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:04
What’s intersting is that the letter P. Z. got may be from the original Scarlett-Johansson-clone “theorist.”
Now if I they’re taking orders, I’d like an Ashley Williams (or two.)
Of course, Janeane Garofalo is number one on my Freebie List™, but she’s probably inimitable.
M. Bouffant said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:07
Radical revolutionaries of the ’30s? The intellectual/emotional equivalents of today’s nutjobs were isolated on their farms, w/o electricity, & didn’t have a car or even a horse to take them to the nearest one-horse town.
Today, these clowns have moved off the farm, & hold eight-hour jobs, as opposed to being slaves to the land from dawn to dusk. It gives them just enough time & space to be filled w/ bullshit ideologies their sad educations haven’t debunked, to top off their resentment at being ignorant & kept that way. (Of course they deal w/ resentment at being screwed by convincing themselves they’re the real AmeriKKKans, not those pointy-haided inilicktyuils.
As far as the Teabaggin’ Turnout, I suspect that turn-out in smaller cities was probably larger than in most big (coastal) cities. So you’ll get a few hundred in Washington, but a thousand or so in a medium-sized city or town.
M. Bouffant said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:10
Adding to the fun, if it weren’t for “that man in the WH” many of these goobers would still be on a farm, w/o electricity, ‘phones or Internet, & completely unable to threaten the rest of the country.
Nom de Gwar said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:11
They’ll plant a couple of Joe the Plumbers over in the corner and take pictures of the crowd gathered for fireworks and declare victory.
On October 31, I plan to call on American families to protest Obama’s socialist fascism by dressing their children in scary/cute costumes and knocking on their neighbors’ doors demanding candy and theatening vandalism.
Then, in late November, we’ll ask all Americans to join our protest of Obama’s forced redistribution of wealth by grossly overeating with our own families and watching football.
In December, we’ll go all out!
We’ll protest the inherent socialist tendency of environmentalism by combining red and green on everything. We’ll protest government debt spending by spending ourselves into oblivion on credit cards. Finally, we’ll protest both environmentalism and energy conservation by displaying dead evergreen trees in our living rooms and decorating our homes with hundreds of little lightbulbs.
Won’t you join us? For the children?
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:14
I can go you one better. Many years ago, in an area locally called the Honda Hills, where people went to ride dirt bikes (a large area where some developer gouged out all the forest to build a huge tract of houses and then never did,) the cops one morning found a brand-new (1982?) Corvette, up on blocks, with no wheels, on fire.
Last line of the story in our local fish-wrap advertiser? “Police suspect arson.”
Smut Clyde said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:22
Someone please animate that warnertodd JPG so that the red, blue and yellow bands on his tie are moving. Thank you.
LittlePig said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:25
Scarlett Johanssen clones
I am intrigued by your views and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Smut Clyde said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:27
What’s intersting is that the letter P. Z. got may be from the original Scarlett-Johansson-clone “theorist.”
Just wait until I conquer the world with my Amazonian army of high-kicking insanely-loyal Scarlett-Johansson clones in tight leather uniforms. You won’t be laughing then.
LittlePig said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:27
Aw rats, laym beat me to it.
tigrismus said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:32
Someone please animate that warnertodd JPG so that the red, blue and yellow bands on his tie are moving.
I’d like to see what Akiyoshi Kitaoka could do with it.
LittlePig said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:32
I’d like a Carolina Ardohain with a side order of Amanda Bynes, please.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:32
my Amazonian army of high-kicking insanely-loyal Scarlett-Johansson clones in tight leather uniforms
Views, newsletter, yadda yadda.
Righteous Bubba said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:33
Alan Keyes: Government Will Stage Terror, Declare Martial Law
protected static said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:34
For those of you saying that the wingnuts of the 30s were somehow less prone to organized sedition, might I remind y’all of the Business Plot?
Nom de Plume said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:36
Why is print media dying?
A few months ago, I happened to be viewing a display of WW2-era newspaper headlines, one of which, in a fairly major newspaper, made the “There” for “Their” mistake.
Rusty Shackleford said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:42
Adding to the fun, if it weren’t for “that man in the WH” many of these goobers would still be on a farm…
No, they would have lost the farm. “That man in the White House” and the New Deal enabled many hardworking farmers, including my grandfather, to keep their farms.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:44
Either that or this freak thinks Obama has mastered time-travel
I told you guys, Obama’s a Time Lord. Even the wingnuts know! That’s why they’re terrified of a One World Order, because they already figured out Obama + Time Lord = UNIT.
Except when they find out the only force out there to fight Obama on his level is led by a gay Scotsman, they’ll really freak out.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:47
Alan Keyes: Government Will Stage Terror, Declare Martial Law
Oh, fucking whee, Alex Jone’s “Prison Planet”, the website that makes Timecube look coherent and well-documented.
Rusty Shackleford said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:50
Seriously, where exactly is the line crossed? At what point, legally, does howling their hate to the rafters become yelling fire in a crowded theater?
To be fair, yelling fire in a crowded theater is okay if the theater is on fire. But that’s not the standard anymore anyhoo. The standard is still the one the Supreme Court elucidated in Brandenburg v. Ohio:
(Emphasis added.)
Huston’s article, irresponsible though it is, doesn’t come anywhere close to meeting that standard. The First Amendment protects his right to be a dickhead.
Pere Ubu said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:51
BTW, speaking of Alex “Batshit Insane” Jones, wingnut bossman’s still on his “9/11 was an inside job” kick. It’s really hard to be diplomatic sometimes, y’know.
Smut Clyde said,
April 22, 2009 at 23:58
I’d like to see what Akiyoshi Kitaoka could do with it.
His Rotating Snakes are my favourite.
SomeNYGuy said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:02
This made (and continues to make) me howl with laughter. I don’t know why. I am completely sober. Perhaps some things are better left unexplained.
J— said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:08
Beyoncé goes to Wuzzleburg! What the wingnut angle?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:11
Beyoncé goes to Wuzzleburg! What the wingnut angle?
Herein lies the problem for teh wingerz:
“Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! has always focused on modeling positive social and emotional skills for preschoolers, and these new Wubb Girlz adventures continue to d”
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:16
Beyoncé goes to Wuzzleburg! What the wingnut angle?
Herein lies the problem for the wingnut brigade:
Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! has always focused on modeling positive social and emotional skills for preschoolers, and these new Wubb Girlz adventures continue to drive home the importance of being yourself and relying on your friends. Beyoncé was pleased to help deliver this message.
“Being yourself is the most important message for children because we’re all different and once you get a little bit older, you realize that those things that are different about you are what make you so amazing. It’s what makes you so interesting.”
This is nothing less than sheer eliminationism, from the righties’ point of view.
PeeJ said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:17
Again, way, way OT: tweenbots has to be one of the most bizarre and also weirdly heart warming things I’ve ever seen. Watch teh vid.
PeeJ said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:19
Again, way, way OT: tweenbots has to be one of the most bizarre and also weirdly heart warming things I’ve ever seen. Watch teh vid.
FYWP. And such as.
white knight said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:20
Everybody is well aware that leftwing administrations have tanks and love to use them, ever since Clinton massacred those kids at Waco. How many American children on American soil did the Nixon, Ford, Reagan, Bush, Bush, and Bush administrations have murdered by sharpshooters and tanks for the (relatively minor) sins of their parents again? Oh, right, zero. But yeah, Conservatives are the authoritarians.
Pere Ubu said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:20
Beyoncé goes to Wuzzleburg!
Is this “urban slang” for some arcane sexual practice?
J— said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:21
Yet another veiled reference to the penis, no doubt.
PeeJ said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:22
WP, I’m on the verge of disliking you!
Third try to make a completely irrelevant not to mention totally OT comment.
http://www.tweenbots.com
has to be one of the most bizarre and also weirdly heart warming things I’ve ever seen. Watch teh vid.
WP tasks me!
Rusty Shackleford said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:24
Beyonce laid a wreath and said the Wubb Girlz were just as much victims as the people in the camps. There was much outrage.
PeeJ said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:26
WP, I’m on the verge of disliking you!
ThirdFourth goddamn try to make a completely irrelevant not to mention totally OT comment. And using FireFoxy this time to boot. Let’s see you fuck with me NOW, WP!1!http://www.tweenbots.com
has to be one of the most bizarre and also weirdly heart warming things I’ve ever seen. Watch teh vid.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:29
Is this “urban slang” for some arcane sexual practice?
Sadly, No. Beyonce’s going on there is a good move, though. I’ve only seen Wow, Wow, Wubbzy once and was struck by how much it needed more booty.
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:32
I’m beginning to get irate at WordPress.
Every time I type.
Check out this fucking madness.
http://washingtonindependent.com/39893/the-million-militia-man-march
The original Youtube video is now private.
N__B said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:36
Yet another veiled reference to the penis, no doubt.
Beyoncé has a penis? How did I miss this news?
PeeJ said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:37
Beyoncé has a penis? How did I miss this news?
It’s very small. Not at all newsworthy.
PeeJ said,
April 23, 2009 at 0:54
Beyoncé has a penis? How did I miss this news?
It is so small as to be non-newsworthy.
M. Bouffant said,
April 23, 2009 at 1:04
Quick!! Everyone to RedState!! (Or the Macon Dung-Pile, or whatever other sad outlets E 2 da R has.)
Man. The carefully detailed & thorough research that goes into his stuff. A veritable Goldberg.
commie atheist said,
April 23, 2009 at 1:17
Alan Keyes: Government Will Stage Terror, Declare Martial Law
Alan Keyes is making sense. Oh, wait a minute – he’s talking about Obama. I thought this was a flashback to 2004, when Bush was going to stage another terror attack and declare martial law. Never mind.
commie atheist said,
April 23, 2009 at 1:19
For those of you saying that the wingnuts of the 30s were somehow less prone to organized sedition, might I remind y’all of the Business Plot?
And it would have worked too, if it wasn’t for that meddling Smedley Butler.
Smut Clyde said,
April 23, 2009 at 1:37
Yet another veiled reference to the penis, no doubt.
Two illustrations from my forthcoming monograph on “The Veiled Penis in Western Religious Iconography”.
Pere Ubu said,
April 23, 2009 at 1:38
And it would have worked too, if it wasn’t for that meddling Smedley Butler.
And that big slobbery weird dog of his!
I’m guessing that Bush never had to stage a terror attack because Congress was pretty much willing to hand him their asses on a platter – and after 2006 or so, it just wasn’t fun any more and Bush’s attention started to turn elsewhere.
Basically, thank god he was as much of a fuckup and a lazy shit as he was. If he’d been, oh, say, Ashcroft, we’d all be sitting in a camp somewhere in Colorado right now wonderinf WTF happened.
M. Bouffant said,
April 23, 2009 at 1:38
That Business Plot was a serious (& secret) deal, not public temper tantrums.
I first read the Keyes line as implying that Dr. Ambassador Al himself would be staging terror & declaring martial law. Hmmm …
But nothing serious that, say, the Koch Bros. do to “restore the real etc.,” will be public.
Yrs. in Paranoia,
I remain, &tc.
Pere Ubu said,
April 23, 2009 at 1:39
ewerickson: Need a beer, I’ve decided. Writing three columns in two hours is exhausting.
Admittedly, I figure pulling stuff out of your ass for two hours straight would indeed be rather tiring, if only for the repetitive bending over.
MzNicky said,
April 23, 2009 at 1:41
I was just surprised that they understood the sticker’s meaning.
Seriously. That thought has crossed my mind also. It’s a conundrum, isn’t it?
MzNicky said,
April 23, 2009 at 1:51
Oh Bubba. Where do you find this stuff? I mean, Holy fucking God in fucking Heaven. I just said that because I can’t come even close to saying that on my local newspaper web site.
Also: “DR.” Alan Keyes?
Righteous Bubba said,
April 23, 2009 at 2:00
Big Hollywood has it all.
Righteous Bubba said,
April 23, 2009 at 2:03
Actually, wait a minute, I got that Keyes shit off Usenet.
commie atheist said,
April 23, 2009 at 2:31
I first read the Keyes line as implying that Dr. Ambassador Al himself would be staging terror & declaring martial law.
Well, that’s about all he’s got let, considering how he’s gotten progressively more batshit insane as time has gone by. I mean, the guy has gone from being a candidate for president, to losing badly to Obama in a Senate race, to being a birther, and now to being as whacked-out a conspiracy theorist as…well, Alex Jones. The guy has definitely hit rock bottom.
commie atheist said,
April 23, 2009 at 2:34
Here’s the link to R.B.’s Alan Keyes article, MzNicky:
http://www.prisonplanet.com/alan-keys-government-will-stage-terror-declare-martial-law.html
And here’s the saddest part:
Keyes is best known for his performance during the 2000 Republican presidential debates, when he was accredited by many media outlets as being the clear winner during a series of debates with George W. Bush and John McCain.
Smut Clyde said,
April 23, 2009 at 3:00
‘Accredited’ may have a completely different meaning from the meaning he thinks it means, but it has ONE MORE SYLLABLE than ‘credited’, which makes it more scholastical.
M. Bouffant said,
April 23, 2009 at 3:01
Believe it or shove it, per that Wiki thing,
Harvard, yet. Maybe there were no psychiatric services available to Harvard students in the ’70s. Of course, Al does a very good job of making sure he’s referred to as “Doctor.”
Smut Clyde said,
April 23, 2009 at 3:16
Wish Thers a happy birthday.
I keep reading the name of the website as ‘rum-prost!.com’, and that starts off the lager and the schnapps and the drinking songs, and I get side-tracked.
lobbey said,
April 23, 2009 at 7:51
those Alan keys commentators are a whole lot of crazy:
The REAL candidates we need, such as Ron Paul and Jesse Ventura will be hit by massive media blackouts, smears and lies.
Keyes would have been a great presidential candidate, and probably an excellent president.
However, Obama is CFR, and 9th cousin to George W Bush. Obama is also kin to Dick Cheney. I mean come on, look at the Bush family.
Johnny Pez said,
April 23, 2009 at 8:22
Salivating, maybe.
Johnny Pez said,
April 23, 2009 at 8:28
An army of Scarlett Johansson clones.