Comments on: Everything Greg Knows About Foreign Policy He Learned in Kindergarten

By: Sirius Lunacy

Sirius Lunacy — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 13:44:44 +0000

gocart mozart said,

April 22, 2009 at 17:54

The photo of Rummy smiling and shaking Sadam’s hand is an obvious forgery. Why won’t CNN release the vault copy!?! We have always been at war with Iraq.

That would explain why we have the biggest peacetime budget evah. We’ve never had peacetime before.

By: Stiv Bator

Stiv Bator — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 21:23:23 +0000

Gutfeld is all about the guts.Also.
Carter gave up the Shah of Iran. I wonder who Obama is going to give up and what will be the results?

By: octopod

octopod — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 21:25:07 +0000

Last line of the actual article: “I for one, would like to see if there’s something underneath Obama’s suit, other than well-sculpted abs.”

Well damn. Why he gotta get me thinking about the president like that? Now I feel dirty.

By: gocart mozart

gocart mozart — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:57:32 +0000

“Opposite marriage” is when the sex increases and the wife becomes less critical after the honeymoon.

By: gocart mozart

gocart mozart — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:54:53 +0000

The photo of Rummy smiling and shaking Sadam’s hand is an obvious forgery. Why won’t CNN release the vault copy!?! We have always been at war with Iraq.

By: RvB

RvB — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 11:51:29 +0000

I’m particularly moved by the memory of Rummy pressing the flesh with Sadaam, history’s greatest monster. Somehow, Sadaam didn’t end up punched by Rummy–instead he got a gimme bag full of missiles. Of course this was a few years ago out of the purview of conservative squawkers who can only remember this week’s “outrage.”

By: Big Bad Bald Bastard

Big Bad Bald Bastard — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:45:38 +0000

232,840 people watch four rednecks (h/t Garafolo) catch a 65-lb. catfish by hand, and God help me I’m the 232,841st.

Rusty, just think of the porntastic possibilities of that audio track:

“Now I got both hands in his mouth!”

Noodling, indeed!

By: Rusty Shackleford

Rusty Shackleford — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:23:21 +0000

232,840 people watch four rednecks (h/t Garafolo) catch a 65-lb. catfish by hand, and God help me I’m the 232,841st.

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 21:54:05 +0000

Why is that man in the photograph wearing a Bridget Riley painting?

By: Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist

Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 21:37:47 +0000

I can see it now – foreign bullies are driving across America, stopping to take a shit in every rest stop they come to.

So they’re the ones that vandalize all the hand dryers to say “Press Butt – Rub Gently – Wipe Hands on Pants.”

By: Big Bad Bald Bastard

Big Bad Bald Bastard — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 21:25:00 +0000

I can see it now – foreign bullies are driving across America, stopping to take a shit in every rest stop they come to. Why can’t these bullies stay in their own damn countries and crap there? Don’t they have toilets?

They have toilets, but said toilets don’t feature closeted Republicans trolling for buttsecks.

By: Dragon-King Wangchuck

Dragon-King Wangchuck — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 20:50:34 +0000

Man, for a socialest lefty, that Chavez is pretty out-of-line with the Animal Rights movement. Here's a video of him fishin'.

By: M. Bouffant

M. Bouffant — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 20:32:22 +0000

Bear-baited in Elizabethan England for a while, too.

By: Rusty Shackleford

Rusty Shackleford — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 20:15:50 +0000

Hugo Chavez rasslin' a gator

By: Rusty Shackleford

Rusty Shackleford — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:56:34 +0000

Hugo Chavez was a gorilla fighter?!

And an alligator wrestler.

By: Snarla

Snarla — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:40:13 +0000

Hugo Chavez was a gorilla fighter?! Was this in a circus? I hope he didn’t go to Africa to fight them in the wild. They’re endangered, aren’t they?

By: actor212

actor212 — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:05:50 +0000

I’m well over five feet tall and can bench-press a cheesecake

I’d be impressed if you could cheesepress a bench.

By: g

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:04:07 +0000

Looks like you have done so with several.

By: Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:03:08 +0000

Bring it, Gutfeld, ya Jewboy pussy. I can bench-press…. [scratches out vague squiggle and a bunch of zeros] THAT many.

By: Greg Gutfeld

Greg Gutfeld — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 18:57:28 +0000

Don’t mess with me, moonbats — I’m well over five feet tall and can bench-press a cheesecake.