Apr
15

Secret Tea Party Sabotage Plan




Posted at 16:21 by D. Aristophanes

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baught
ABOVE: What a maron!

S,N! editors – please take a quick look at the minutes of yesterday’s clandestine meeting of the liberal-fascist media establishment, progressive bloggers and key provocateurs from the Obama administration. Agenda: Operation Weak Tea, our nefarious scheme to disrupt today’s bold and exciting Tea Party activity planned by virile patriots across this land we loathe as we do all things good and just and pure.

(Speaking – Comrade First-Among-Equals)

(tap, tap, tap)

Is this thing on? Testing, testing, eins, zwei, drei … good, this meeting will come to order. Gentlewymmyn, transgendered sis/brethren and phallused oppressor pigs, we meet once again masked in the secrecy of night and also masked in the secrecy of wearing masks. We are a secretive, masked bunch, with secret masks generously provided on the sly by the Soros Foundations Network.

Heil, Soros!

Tomorrow, healthy, attractive and courageous conservatives will gather in enormous, sweeping protests they call ‘Tea Parties’ in a brave but ultimately futile attempt to disrupt our grand scheme of putting them all in reeducation camps by year’s end, via a subtle and slight raising of the top marginal tax rate that won’t happen until 2011 and will not directly affect the vast majority of them.

We cannot allow their movement to gain steam! We cannot allow these bold and noble patriots to encourage others of rough-hewn heartland stock to rise up against their mooching, post-modern overlords! We cannot allow these ‘Tea Parties’ to proceed unmolested by our sweaty, jealous and furtive machinations!

Thus, we will place one or more establishment agents at the most prominent Tea Parties. There, our undercover comrades will sabotage the orderly and inspiring proceedings with activities including:

- Carrying signs with ridiculously idiotic slogans, often leveraging the irony of misspelling a message that insults others’ intelligence.

- Starting fights with assorted useful hippy idiots who will no doubt show up to counter-protest the Tea Parties.

- Encouraging Tea Party attendees to generally mill around and look uncomfortable, as if they have precious little experience at participating in street protests.

- Standing between any cameras and the large numbers of attractive, sexy people that will surely turn out for these events.

Additionally, establishment media and their progressive blogger underlings will widely televise and write about the Tea Parties, but only insofar as to hide their true agenda of completely ignoring them.

By these means, we shall snatch defeat of the American Idea from the jaws of these victorious upstarts! And soon — very soon — we will achieve our Final Solution of moderately shifting the tax burden from the middle class, debating minor adjustments to firearms policy and not nuking Mecca!

Soon we will be in complete control of this country, able to corrupt and pollute it with our filthy, cowardly ideas in the manner that we please! We, the feckless and neutered molesters of all that is noble and strong, we moochers of the production of Real Americans — soon we, the base and hideous ones, will be able to paw and grope and rub up against their pure and virtuous daughters and sons to our heart’s content! And there will be nothing they can do to stop us!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Go now, comrades, to wreak havoc on the Tea Parties! Go with desperate, diseased strength in your arms and foul blackness in your hearts! Go with The Goddess to end the American Dream … FOREVER!

From each according to his patriarchal lineage, lack of melanin and interest in firearms, to each according to her published studies of racism and gender oppression in the works of Orson Scott Card!

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201 Comments »

  1. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 16:30

    Ohboy! Our own version of the DHS sekrit repore on right wing killer klowns from Kansas!

  2. Bitter Scribe said,

    April 15, 2009 at 16:31

    Standing between any cameras and the large numbers of attractive, sexy people that will surely turn out for these events.

    Thanks for my morning laugh.

  3. Stephen said,

    April 15, 2009 at 16:36

    to each according to her published studies of racism and gender oppression in the works of Orson Scott Card!

    If lambasting Orson Scott Card gets me government handouts, I should be rich by now. Where’s my government handouts?!

  4. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 16:56

    This is Actor212, reporting from City Hall Park in lower Manhattan near the World Trade Center site.

    Literally ones of people turned out today in support of the nationwide “Tea Bag Parties,” protesting President Obama’s plan to raise taxes on the fat and lazy rich….

  5. FGFM said,

    April 15, 2009 at 16:59

    I will be teabagging it today here in Chicago with a couple of cameras. I don’t expect a big turnout given the weather, but we’ll see if Santelli shows up. Gluttons for punishment in the metropolitan area might consider attending this event on Friday.

    2nd Annual Sammies

    Winners — announced here! — are being flown to Chicago and showcased at the red-carpet Sammies Award Show Saturday, April 18, 2009, at the Marriott Renaissance Chicago North Shore Hotel.

    Guest presenters include:

    * Michelle Malkin
    * John Fund
    * Stephen Moore
    * Paul Jacob
    * Mary Katharine Ham
    * Jonathan Hoenig
    * Vicki McKenna
    * Joe “the Plumber” Wurzelbacher
    * and more!

  6. John D. said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:00

    Well, that’s Jew York City, Actor212, it’s not exactly like it’s a home to real Amurikkkans.

  7. Phallused Oppressor Pig said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:02

    That’s it, you’ve insulted me for the last time. I’m joining the other side. They appreciate my type over there.

  8. J— said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:07

    You jest, I think, but Martin Knight of Red State has found a Very Important Document.

  9. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:07

    Well, that’s Jew York City, Actor212, it’s not exactly like it’s a home to real Amurikkkans.

    True, but a) It’s unPC to point out the religion, so we now refer to it as Neocon York City, and b) it’s blocks from Wall Street and ever since the bailouts and layoffs, literally hundreds of brokers wander the streets like zombies seeking brains.

    It’s very sad, to be honest. All these bright shiny people shuffling around like they were about to board the trains to a Michelle malkin Internment camp, asking for spare stock tips, panhandling at Harry’s Of Hanover Street, leaping off tall curbs trying to commit suicide, and then showing up in droves mobs small groups of one or less to protest the patent unfairness of Obama’s tax policy, which only asks those who have been blessed with this nation’s bounty to share a little in paying to run it.

  10. Ken Lowery said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:09

    Oh right, I forgot that was going on today. I did my taxes like two months ago.

  11. kevin said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:10

    ACORN

    …had to be said.

  12. Zandar1 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:11

    I CAST MAGIC MISSILE AT THE TEA PARTY!

    (pew-pew-pew! Take that, The Tea Party!)

  13. D. Aristophanes said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:13

    (die roll)

    Tea Party is down to 6 hit points!

  14. Marco said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:16

    I am also eagerly awaiting the Chicago tea bagging fest. In addition to Jonathan Hoenig, other guests include Fucking Stupid, Complete Ineptitude and the comedy stylings of Stretch Pants & Crocs.

  15. Marco said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:19

    I will also be attending the Chicago tea baggery. Jonathan Hoenig is scheduled to speak. Other guests include Fucking Stupid, Completely Idiotic and the the conservative comedy duo, Crocs & Stretch Pants.

  16. MzNicky said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:20

    Hey, they’s havin’ one a them Tea-bagger Parties this afternoon down here in my corner of the glorious border state of Tennessee! Literally tens of people are expected to show up!

    I hear and obey, Comrade First-Among-Equals! My sign will read
    “TEABAG ME, OBAMA!”

    And I’ll mean it, too!

  17. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:21

    I hear and obey, Comrade First-Among-Equals! My sign will read
    “TEABAG ME, OBAMA!”

    I think you spelled that correctly.

  18. MzNicky said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:23

    Oh … right. Good catch, actor. Will fix.

  19. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:23

    I wouldn’t want you to get into trouble, MzN.

  20. That Girl said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:26

    I’m in San Gaycisco. I’m assuming no one even bothered to plan any tea parties here.

  21. J— said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:30

    That Girl: The Silent Majority is everywhere, including San Francisco.

  22. D. Aristophanes said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:31

    TG – there’s one at Pelosi’s office I think. Might head down there with a camera.

  23. Jacob Singer said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:31

    Every day is a Tea Party in San Francisco!

  24. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:31

    I’m assuming no one even bothered to plan any tea parties here.

    Republicans prefer to do their teabagging indoors or inside a closet in Frisco.

  25. a different brad said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:33

    Actor212- the tea party isn’t until 7.

    My sign for the festivities is going to read “I’m a liberal Dem, plz teabag me”

    I hope they will.

  26. kiki said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:37

    The “Weak Tea” line is pretty funny, but I’m not sure it does them justice – after all, some people like weak tea.

    How about Operation Half A Cup Of Lukewarm Piss?

  27. kiki said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:40

    * Joe “the Plumber” Wurzelbacher

    Should be: Samuel “Joe” “the Plumber” Wurzelbacher.

  28. That Girl said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:41

    Thanks J-! I’m going to try to make it, but as one of the few liberals in the country with a job, I might have a tough time finding the time.

    DA, you’ll be the guy standing between the sexy, attractive people and the cameras?

  29. PeeJ said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:41

    I feel your pain, TG, up here in Portland.

    That RedState post that J linked is hilarious. The commenters are arguing whether “the plan” is brilliant or stupid. And they’re plotting counter counter plans. Among them:
    Be quick to come to the defense of any pro Obama protestors.
    and
    Ignore the Liberals…let them Beclown themselves
    .

    The beclowning continues!

  30. Bigby said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:42

    I assume Obama used the secret government weather machine (left over from the Bush Admin no doubt, since it’s proving every day in April that Global Warming is a Hoax, at least here in the Mid-Atlantic) to rain everywhere in the USA, so streets and storm drains would run, um, brownish ochre with the “blood” of millions of held bags of Lipton’s and Tetley’s (bloody Brits).

  31. kiki said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:43

    I CAST MAGIC MISSILE AT THE TEA PARTY!

    I cast “Power Word Stupid”!

    Oh. No effect. I guess it’s not a cumulative spell.

  32. PeeJ said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:43

    Every day is a Tea Party in San Francisco!

    You’re thinking of the Tea Dance, dear.

  33. FGFM said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:44

    I just strolled by Federal Plaza here in Chicago and there were about two dozen protesters so far. This compares to a few dozen people in line inside the post office! Speaker Jonathan Hoenig is one of the biggest idiots in town, possibly surpassed by Erich “Mancow” Mueller who appears to be the headliner.

  34. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:48

    A Different Brad,

    True, but I, like most of the protestors, can’t be bothered to show up.

    So I live-blogged it in advance!

  35. That Girl said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:49

    I think I might bring a sign that says “Stop Bailing Out the Military Industrial Complex!” How will that go over?

  36. Meanderthal said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:51

    Hey, they’s havin’ one a them Tea-bagger Parties this afternoon down here in my corner of the glorious border state of Tennessee! Literally tens of people are expected to show up!

    Where are they having one? I’m in transit back to Chattanooga today, so I’ll be missing (dodging) the Tea Tantrums.

  37. jenniebee said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:53

    How is Gay Patriot participating in the teabagging? That’s what I want to know.

    How will we tell the people who show up with irony from the people who don’t? Also, can I get a shirt that’s just like the old “I’m with stupid –>” shirts, except mine says “I’m with Irony –>” Also.

  38. Snowwy said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:54

    Humorless Pagan sez “That’s not funny!”

  39. J— said,

    April 15, 2009 at 17:54

    The Chattanooga party will chug on until 7:00 PM, so if you get back by then, you have no excuse.

  40. Matty said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:07

    I was going to ask if y’all were afraid that this would turn into one of those Protocols of the Elders of Zion totally-a-hoax-but-whoops-it’s-now-totally-believed things, and then I saw the Red State link.

    You sly dogs, someone beat you to it.

  41. MzNicky said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:08

    Meanderthal: The Knoxville teabagging is scheduled for 3-6 at the World’s Fair park. Hey, if you work it right you could hit the one in K-town AND the one in Shaggy-noogy!

    There’s also going to be a counter-protest for PrObama-ites at the same site. hmmm… what to do, what to do.

  42. Robert said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:08

    I’m tempted to use a sign reading
    STOP PICKING ON PEOPLE WHO EARN MOST
    OF THE MONEY
    but I can;’t think of any really good misspellings.

    I could just go surreal with
    THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNESTLY
    AGAINST INCREASED TAXATION

    and on the other side
    THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GREY FILLING OUT
    HIS 1040

    and see if any newsies talk to me.

  43. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:08

    Hey, where’s the Obama loyalty oath and the opening prayer of “Allahu Akbar Death to America!”? This must be the transcript of some less stridently leftish “Crashing the Tea Party” group. I bet you didn’t even gay-abort a bunch of foeti to close out the meeting.

  44. Legalize said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:11

    Goddamit. The first rule of Operation Weak Tea is that you do not talk about Operation Weak Tea. Jesus, people.

  45. g said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:11

    the comments at the RedState post are hilarious. I love the guy who wants to take closeup photos of counterprotesters and turn them into the police. I am just imagining him showing up at the police station asking someone to look at his photo album of people who are not doing anything different than everyone else.

    Cop: (scratching head) “So, this guy in the blue shirt is what?”

    RedStater: “He’s with ACORN!!!”

    Cop: “Umm…OK. So what’s the complaint here?”

    RedStater: “Well, he’s with ACORN!!! Can’t you tell? See what his sign says?”

    Cop: “Well everyone at the park had signs. ”

    RedStater: “Yeah, but his sign was a non-Teabagging sign!”

    Cop: “Look, pal, I don’t have time for….”

    REdStater: “But he’s with ACORN, I tell you!! Aren’t you going to arrest him? Huh? Aren’t you?”

  46. Robert said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:12

    I just checked the San Francisco link – 86 people have responded
    ‘yes’ to Will Meet Up. If they get half that – which is optimistic – it should be entertaining. I can’t WAIT for the news coverage.

    Ooops, wait – the MSM won’t cover it. Dang. I was hoping for a microphone stuck in some ‘patriot’s’ face and a newsie asking
    “What about the Administration’s budget proposal are you specifically opposed to?” and let ‘er RIP.

  47. D.N. Nation said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:14

    So I was wrong about Teabag Atlanta ’09…they’re having it at the Capitol Building (edge of downtown) instead of Centennial Olympic Park (right smack in the middle of downtown).

    Capitol Building’s an interesting choice, seeing how the state legislature is no longer in session. They actually should be in session- well, a special session at least- to pass a bill allowing MARTA to tap into its capital reserves to pay for a temporary budget shortfall. It’s a five-minute fix that got lost underneath eons and eons of stemcells/gays/abortions/gunsgunsguns talk during the legislative session. But, see, our governor couldn’t be bothered to go through all that, so he’s out fishin’ instead. It should be noted that he did call for a special session a few years ago to make sure everyone was clear on gay marriage being banned, which was already a law anyway. As in, the legislation up for consideration was all like hey, know that law down there? well, keep following it.

    The way I see it, THIS sort of dumbass government shenanigan is something worth protesting. So I’m sure the Teabaggers will cover this, as they are true scholars of smart government. Durrr.

    Also, they’re gonna be a few blocks from Turner Field, so I’m sure they’ll count the people tailgating before the Braves game as their own.

  48. D. Aristophanes said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:15

    Teabag Protester 1: The top marginal tax rate is … quiet.

    Teabag Protester 2: Too quiet.

  49. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:17

    I’m tempted to use a sign reading
    STOP PICKING ON PEOPLE WHO EARN MOOST
    OF THE MONEAY
    but I can;’t think of any really good misspellings.

    Suggestions edited in.

  50. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:18

    Cop: (scratching head) “So, this guy in the blue shirt is what?”

    RedStater: “He’s with ACORN!!!”

    Cop: “Umm…OK. So what’s the complaint here?”

    RedStater: “Well, he’s with ACORN!!! Can’t you tell? See what his sign says?”

    Cop: “Well everyone at the park had signs. ”

    RedStater: “Yeah, but his sign was a non-Teabagging sign!”

    Cop: “Look, pal, I don’t have time for….”

    REdStater: “But he’s with ACORN, I tell you!! Aren’t you going to arrest him? Huh? Aren’t you?”

    Cop: I don’t know!

    Every Other Cop Within Earshot: THIRD BASE!

  51. D.N. Nation said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:20

    I was listening to Boortzo for the laffs this morning. Neal was doing his usual marbles-in-mouth whine over taxes…for “half of us.” See, according to fat Neal, if you got any break whatsoever, you’re part of the “parasite class.”

    This is not directly related to all that, but my wife has received a noticeable amount of money more on her college stipend since the stimulus passed. She’s studying infectious diseases/microbiology for her doctorate. Her plan is to help discover cures for all sorts of nasty stomach ailments in the developing world.

    A proud member of the Parasite Class, she is.

  52. a different brad said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:21

    From redstate’s comments;

    I just heard through the grapevine that the police in my city are expecting major violence/riots. There is word on the street that liberals are bringing eggs and rotten veggies to throw at the Tea Party attendees!

    Stay safe! Don’t let them scare you!

    I… can barely breathe.

  53. g said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:23

    so are the Fox Anchors really going to be right there on the scene, in the thick of it? Are they going to interview folks with striking costumes or powerfully worded signs, and ask folks what kind of supplies from home they’ve brought to sustain them?

    Are they going to marvel at the passing parade, the onstage speakers, the performances?

    Sounds kind of like coverage for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, or the Tournament of Roses.

  54. D.N. Nation said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:23

    marbles-in-mouth whine over taxes

    For those of you who have never been lucky enough to hear Boortz carry on, it sounds like this:

    Huuuuuhappy taxxcckckkkkks day, evrrun! Bend ovrrrr! Hur hur hur. Well, the hullllaaaaalf of us. The ruuuessst of youllll, yowwwwr in thuuur PEAAAARUHHSUHHHTEEE kkkkkkkkkkkcccchhhhhllllass!

    Dude’s got a face for radio and a voice for print.

  55. J— said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:25

    Ah, but his lively banter with Royal is so much fun.

  56. a concerned citizen said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:26

    I think “Munny” (a la Pooh’s “hunny”) is the misspeling you’re looking for.

  57. Jennifer said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:27

    I’m going to stake out the local teabagging and use my telephoto lens so I don’t disturb them in their bubble.

    Apparently there was some teabagging here a month ago when Biden came to town for a fundraiser for Blanche Lincoln (thanks a lot, Joe) – I only found out about it when googling to see where the loonies would be roosting today. In the comments section, first comment was “I was down there at the Peabody from 5 – 6, and I didn’t see ANY protestors.” Then that was followed by a “you were in the wrong spot; there were close to 100 people down in front of the Statehouse center.” Which was followed by a claim of 150 people, which was followed by someone else claiming 200 people, and finally by someone who linked to photos to prove that the protest had taken place, in which I identified perhaps 60 individuals, total, in the series of 20+ photos.

    In other words, fewer protestors than the first commenter had noted in the Peabody lobby, watching the ducks march from the fountain to the elevators to go back to their rooftop digs. Apparently, several hundred people were there for that. For the protesting, not so much.

  58. g said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:27

    I just heard through the grapevine that….

    Grapevine being the crazy old guy next door who keep shooing kids off his lawn.

  59. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:28

    I could just go surreal with
    THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNESTLY
    AGAINST INCREASED TAXATION

    and on the other side
    THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GREY FILLING OUT
    HIS 1040

    and see if any newsies talk to me.

    Wow. You’ve just given me an inspiration for a great Photoshop project!

    If, you know, I was any good at it. Or if I even had Photoshop…

    But I throw this out there for those with the skillz: Recreate great works of art (preferably modern and PoMo or even surrealist) using a 1040 form.

    I can see the Dali painting “Persistence of Memory” or Andy Warhol’s classic Campbell’s Soup Can. Maybe Andrew Wyeth’s “Christina’s World” with a 1040 form in lieu of the house…

  60. Simba B said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:29

    Sounds kind of like coverage for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

    Look at the size of those parade balloons! Oh, wait, those are the protesters…

  61. Ken Lowery said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:30

    if you got any break whatsoever, you’re part of the “parasite class.”

    So, all families? And me, for that matter, since I’m single, rent, and work under a certain salary threshold?

  62. g said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:32

    It woudl be a real shame, though if Billionaires for Bush didn’t show up.

  63. TKK said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:33

    I’m gonna be they guy at every rally asking “Where’s the birth certificate?” To make the teabaggers look stupid.

  64. Ben Richards said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:34

    One of these tea party deals needs a visit from Sacha Baron Cohen as Bruno interviewing the protesters. Probably too late to get that in the movie since it is already in post-production…

  65. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:36

    HAH!

    I GOT IT!

    We should all show up at various tea bag parties carrying cameras and wearing jackets with “Department Of Homeland Security, Special Right Wing Extremist Squad” patches!

  66. g said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:36

    This is hilarious. The DC protests can’t carry out most of their plans, because they didn’t secure permits.

    No Tea Permitted

  67. nils said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:38

    check this out:

    http://michellemalkin.cachefly.net/michellemalkin.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/475208944_l5uby-m.jpg

    FAP!

  68. Ken Lowery said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:44

    “Porkulus” really is the dumbest word. It’s something a 15-year-old comes up with as a placeholder in the first draft of his sci-fi comedy story story, then later rewrites.

  69. Till said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:44

    That WaPo article makes delightful use of the words “dump” and “load”.

    “This is the largest grass-roots demonstration in history,”

    AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

    Oh wait, that’s right, the massive worldwide demonstrations against the invasion of Iraq were secretly organized by the completely un-grassy ACORN Code Pink MoveOn.org Blart ANSWER.

  70. Rusty Shackleford said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:48

    These teabaggers would have credibility if they had made a peep while Bush destroyed the Clinton surplus, created the largest federal government agency (DHS), and plunged us into a colossally expensive war of choice that our great-grandchildren will still be paying for.

    Yet, no peep.

  71. Athenawise said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:56

    If I ever throw a non-teabag party, I’ll invite all you guys.

    Best. Party. Ever.

  72. Moutful of Kelp said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:56

    I really hope there are cameras rolling to capture the climactic moment when a million bags of tea are dumped on the pavement.

  73. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 15, 2009 at 18:57

    The DC protests can’t carry out most of their plans, because they didn’t secure permits.

    That is fucking hilarious.

    Protesters, using a rented truck to haul the million tea bags, began unloading their cargo at the park this morning but were told by officials that they didn’t have proper permits and must move the tea.

    c.f.

    … and Thomas A. Schatz, president of Citizens Against Government Waste.

    You gotta at least admit that them Teabaggers are pretty astute about recognizing waste. World-class experts you might say.

  74. MzNicky said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:03

    Jennifer — are you in the Memphis area of Arkansas? Yeah, the ducks in the Peabody gave it away.

  75. PeeJ said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:05

    Thomas A. Schatz

    Naw, what’s his name, really?

  76. Rusty Shackleford said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:07

    I really hope there are cameras rolling to capture the climactic moment when a million bags of tea are dumped on the pavement.

    And then picked up and put back in the truck to avoid Islamobamafascist anti-littering laws.

  77. MzNicky said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:08

    g: Hahahahahahahaha! That made me cackle real loud like a wicked old witch for almost 30 seconds. The cats ran away.

  78. Jennifer said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:09

    MzNicky – no, I’m in Little Rock. We have a Peabody, too.

    More hilarity – in looking around the web, they’ve got three, count ‘em three, different teabagging events set up for Little Rock. Why have one semi-impressive event when you can have 3 totally pathetic ones?

    Then there’s this comment from the youtube (yeah I know) of the first DC teabagging:

    why don’t you dems hold your own protest and call for more taxes and more spending?

    Uh…we did, back in November. You lost. Now man up and stop being such a WATB about it.

  79. Jennifer said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:10

    In the future, “WATB” will be understood to stand for “whiney-assed tea-bagger”.

  80. PeeJ said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:20

    Major breakthrough in DC!

    A D.C. think tank, the free market Competitive Enterprise Institute, said it would allow the dumping of the tea bags in its 12th floor conference room instead.

    The liberal MSM will ignore that dramatic moment, I’m sure.

  81. Ken Lowery said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:23

    It’s like God made today just for me.

  82. MzNicky said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:24

    YEAH!!! Totally TEA-BAGGIN’ tha… ah … the 12TH FLOOR CONFERENCE ROOM, BITCHEZZ!!!

  83. MzNicky said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:27

    Ken Lowery: It is so wonderfully wonderful today! The web site of my local newspaper, which is usually a repository of the foulest racism and retarded godbaggery anywhere on earth, is today replete with LIBERALS making teabagging jokes and ridiculing the usual fucktards something AWFUL. It’s almost as sweet as Election Night! Well, okay, nothing will ever be that sweet again. Except for that footage of Malia and Sasha running around the White House lawn with their puppy Bo. Now THAT’s some sweet right there.

  84. Rusty Shackleford said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:27

    A D.C. think tank, the free market Competitive Enterprise Institute, said it would allow the dumping of the tea bags in its 12th floor conference room instead.

    They will then allow hot water to be poured over them in NON-RECYCLABLE STYROFOAM CUPS TAKE THAT LIEBRULS BLAR HAR!

  85. Mouthful of Kelp said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:29

    From the official Tax Day Tea Party website:

    City: Troy, MI
    When: April 15, 4:30pm – 6:30pm
    Where: Sidewalk along Big Beaver Rd in front of the Troy City Hall

    So, just five miles from my office, there will apparently be teabagging on Big Beaver.

  86. Coach Urban Meyer said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:29

    Tea tong tilly, loony libs! Cool Coach here, reporting from the MASSIVE grassroots groundswell of total teabagging SPREAD in Gainesville, Real America! I guess you silly socialists have heard the news that our gigantic rallies will be sweeping the nation today in the greatest political movement America has ever seen! Where’s your pro-Obummer rally fallies, huh? Why can’t you come up with something on your own, eh? The Cool Coach has you figured out like a knife through rice, loony libs!

    Badoodle-boo-yeah! Urban out.

  87. Ken Lowery said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:30

    MzNicky:

    Right?! Now all I need is 1) for polygamy to be made legal, and 2) to get simultaneous marriage proposals from Rosario Dawson and Anne Hathaway and today will be complete.

  88. Has Fascism Come to America? said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:31

    The Homeland Security Department under the Hopey McChange twit is targeting people’s liberty. Even singling out “Ron Paul supporters” and “recently discharged veterans (What a slap in the face!) and people who visit “certain websites” or “watch certain videos” or believe in small government (i.e., true patriots).

    It’s an infringement on our liberties and FASCISM! I want my Republic back!

  89. Rusty Shackleford said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:31

    Why does the Competitive Enterprise Institute need a conference room? The free market should make all their decisions

  90. Ken Lowery said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:32

    OK, but seriously.

    They’re all out there protesting… who knows what, having reliable water and meat I guess, and they don’t have permits, they can’t get the numbers, no one takes them seriously, and it turns out they’re just a front for FLAT TAXERS, the most hilariously stupid idea of the past 20 years that has been soundly rejected every time it’s been brought up?

    It’s not making up for the past 8 years, but it still feels nice.

  91. J— said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:33

    Major breakthrough in DC!

    I love it. Check SourceWatch’s entry on the CEI.

  92. Righteous Bubba said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:38

    I love it. Check SourceWatch’s entry on the CEI.

    Oh dear. It seems they helped lobby ABC to keep John Stossel on the job after he lied about stuff. Alert Mona!

  93. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:39

    Check SourceWatch’s entry on the CEI.

    Quoted For Truth.

  94. Lesley said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:41

    Charles Arlinghaus, teabagging enthusiast and all around fool urges his fellows to do something productive. “Don’t just yell at your tv.”

    Response from a teabagger!

    I’ll be drinking tea all day. Thanks for the idea.
    - Tom, Dover-Foxcroft, Me.

  95. That Girl said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:46

    They complied with the order but are still considering what to do with the load.

    The comedy writes itself, really.

  96. That Girl said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:49

    Salon’s War Room has some good stuff, likely to make you chortle with glee:

    http://www.salon.com/politics/war_room/2009/04/15/party/

    Samples:

    Despite the pouring rain, the mud, the lack of tea and how hard it is to hear the speakers, Madden concludes the “crowd is thrilled nonetheless; tea party is Woodstock for Ayn Randers.”

    and

    Another man in the crowd, who is wearing sunglasses despite the rain, gestures at the White House and says: “They’re nothing but Marxist, socialist communists in there.”

  97. g said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:53

    I’ll be drinking tea all day. Thanks for the idea.

    Hope there are plenty of portapotties out there at the protest sites.

  98. Rusty Shackleford said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:53

    I absorutery rove Ayn Randers’ common-sense advice on coping with the difficurties of rife.

  99. justme said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:54

    Woe is me. I am unprepared.

    Had I thought about things properly, I would have built a fleet of PENIScopters to bebother the teabaggers with.

    Losing my touch. I must get checked for signs of Ironyzheimers.

  100. Lesley said,

    April 15, 2009 at 19:58

    Obama to ‘tea-bag’ protesters: I’ve already cut taxes

    Do these teabagging fools not realize they are protesting to protect the wealthiest Americans?

  101. justme said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:00

    It’s an infringement on our liberties and FASCISM! I want my Republic back!

    It moved to Somalia, The Libertarian Paradise. I suggest you follow it.

    A D.C. think tank, the free market Competitive Enterprise Institute, said it would allow the dumping of the tea bags in its 12th floor conference room instead.

    I admit to being a bit curious as to how they expect to get the truck up there.

  102. g said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:00

    You know, it just occurred to me that the DC Tea-party is taking place in Lafayette Park…..now weren’t there funds in the so-called Porkulus package for re-seeding the lawns in the parks of DC – and the Anti-Porkers pointed toward this as a ridiculous waste of tax dollars?

    I would think these folks would have a problem with the use of government funds to maintain public gathering places with well-tended lawns and swept walkways and timely trash collection – so why are they adding to the tax burden?

  103. PeeJ said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:02

    Do these teabagging fools not realize they are protesting to protect the wealthiest Americans?

    No.

    This concludes this edition of ……

  104. Ken Lowery said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:04

    I admit to being a bit curious as to how they expect to get the truck up there.

    Oh man. Oh MAN. They are going to have to schlep a million tea bags 12 stories up, dump them on a floor, then TAKE THEM BACK DOWN AGAIN TO THROW AWAY.

    This is the best day.

  105. Thomas said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:05

    Orson Scott Card?

    Really, I would have gone for Robert Heinlein. Sure, he often gets shoved in with Ayn Rand for favoring rugged individualism and distrusting institutions but on the other hand, his contempt for religion and advocacy of sexual liberation really make him a better candidate for this sort of thing.

    Grok in fullness, motherfuckers.

  106. tigrismus said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:06

    I absorutery rove Ayn Randers’ common-sense advice on coping with the difficurties of rife.

    So wait, that makes you… Lusty Shacklefold? Well, hello there!

  107. That Girl said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:07

    Per Jake Tapper’s twitter feed:

    someone threw teabags over the WH fence + now parts of WH are in temporary lockdown while Secret Service checks it out

    http://twitter.com/jaketapper

    The comedy appears to be never ending. I’m with Ken Lowery. This is the best day.

  108. jim said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:09

    Silly liberals!

    The nastiest thing you can do to these schmeebs is to let them speak their minds – especially in the context of one of the most moronic “protests” in modern American history … earnestly protesting a modest tax hike on folks who openly despise them seems to be, ahem, their cup of tea, so BOTTOMS UP!

    Will that be one lump or two?

    There’s been a lot of infighting around this stunt, & the net result is that the social cons have lost the catbird seat to their fiscal rivals … so it’s a given that some harsh paybacks are on the way. The Born-Agains took a Sharpie to “love thine enemies” & “turn the other cheek” a LONG time ago – as the Tetley Tax-Cut Brigade is about to discover the hard way. Hope for maximum turnout: the more the mob of teabag-waving rubes swells, the higher the stakes – & the nastier the ensuing wave of mutual destruction.

    This circus has given the Trickle-Downers a massive case of Unwarranted Self-Importance, without the numbers to back it up come convention time … methinks the fiscal cons are going to be mucho pissed when they don’t get their nominee heading the GOP, & they’re the only ones who aren’t creepy as hell &/or might be smart enough (LOL) to turn any new votes their way.

    Elephant Graveyard, dead ahead!

  109. FGFM said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:11

    They actually had a pretty good turnout in Chicago, but a fair number of people on the Plaza were Alex Jones types or people just stuck in the crowd trying to get in the post office. Will post pics later.

  110. The Tragically Flip said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:14

    A Republican “strategist” (TV-speak for “soulless monster”) was asked if this was the beginning of the “new Republican party.”

    Well gee, they’re running with the idea that taxes are horrible and spending is horrible. Sounds like a new party to me!

    At least the “New Democrats” and DLC did represent a policy shift for the Democrats. It was a bad shift towards corporatism, but it was an actual, discernable change in policy.

    All the Republicans have is marketting. Only branding, imaging, packaging. The product can never change, only the sales pitch.

  111. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:15

    “Porkulus” really is the dumbest word. It’s something a 15-year-old comes up with as a placeholder in the first draft of his sci-fi comedy story story, then later rewrites.

    “Porkulus Meets Dr. Acula”

  112. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:16

    A D.C. think tank, the free market Competitive Enterprise Institute, said it would allow the dumping of the tea bags in its 12th floor conference room instead.

    Watch. Some illegal Messican will be the one to clean it all up.

  113. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:19

    someone threw teabags over the WH fence + now parts of WH are in temporary lockdown while Secret Service checks it out

    Wait….wasn’t there a report from the DHS on Just. This. Happening?

  114. Lusty Shacklefold said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:22

    A Republican “strategist” (TV-speak for “soulless monster”) was asked if this was the beginning of the “new Republican party.”

    Beginning of the new Republican party, dregs of the old Republican party, potato, po-taht-o.

  115. The Tragically Flip said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:23

    TBPH, I’m not much of a fan of most neologisms. They’re rarely clever enough to be worth repeating.

    But “porkulus” is especially poor. Since conservatives are already congenitally unable to be funny, they especially suck at drafting witting neologisms.

  116. g said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:24

    So wait. They’re going to dump their protest tea-bags in the board room of a think tank that supports them?

    That’s make nice TeeVee footage (snicker).

    what’s the point?

  117. Lusty Shacklefold said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:29

    Props to Tapper for this tweet:

    Blago to be on reality show- ghost of Paddy Chayefski to soon rise + haunt

  118. Ken Lowery said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:30

    “Porkulus Meets Dr. Acula”

    Oh wow, I am laffin’.

  119. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:31

    I admit to being a bit curious as to how they expect to get the truck up there.

    Truck, hell. If the protesters are the typical wingnut body-type-wise, the elevator will have to carry them up no more than 2 at a time.

    So, six trips – but that takes awhile, all the way to the 12th floor.

  120. David said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:35

    FoxNews was streaming several tea parties live; they’re down to just one already.

  121. laym said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:37

    From g’s Wash Post link:

    They complied with the order but are still considering what to do with the load.

    I’ll be over here, trying to get my mind to stop boggling.

  122. PeeJ said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:39

    AROOgula AROOgula

    Breaking!

    D.C. tea party broken up

    Secret Service and police clear Lafayette Park after an anti-tax protester allegedly throws something at the White House

  123. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:40

    FoxNews was streaming several tea parties live; they’re down to just one already.

    “I have to go wash mom’s back before Oprah comes on…”

  124. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:41

    They complied with the order but are still considering what to do with the load.

    I bet the Frisco party doesn’t have this problem.

  125. Matt T. said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:44

    tea party is Woodstock for Ayn Randers.”

    Wait. Is this supposed to make libertarianism/objectivism/American fiscal conservatism sound attractive? Standing around with a bunch of other greedy, ill-informed jackasses bitching that they didn’t win the election? Fucking Woodstock had drugs and music, man. This is why I couldn’t be a libertarian/objectivist/fiscal conservative. You promise me Woodstock and don’t at least deliver some decent weed and maybe some of the Family Stone, I don’t want to be a part of your group.

  126. nationalplumbingcodehandbook said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:46

    They threw truck nuts at the WH?

    I’m tired of these DFHs and their obscene protests.

  127. D. Aristophanes said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:47

    “I have to go wash mom’s back before Oprah comes on…”

    Wednesday’s taco night at my house but I can meet you at the tree fort after supper.

  128. Legalize said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:49

    TPM has a hilarious document from Freedom Works, giving the morans instructions on how to not make fools of themselves:

    http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/documents/2009/04/tea-party-rally-disruptors-flyer.php?page=1

  129. nationalplumbingcodehandbook said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:50

    …what to do with the load…

    Oh no you don’t. If teabagging moves to Trevering, I’m out of here.

  130. Lesley said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:52

    They threw truck nuts at the WH?

    That’s what tearrorists do.

  131. DrDick said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:52

    giving the morans instructions on how to not make fools of themselves:

    Yeah, that will work out well. John Stuart Mill didn’t have a clue (and neither do the teabaggers).

  132. g said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:56

    after an anti-tax protester allegedly throws something at the White House

    Oh, those tricksy ACORNers!

  133. D. Aristophanes said,

    April 15, 2009 at 20:57

    tea party is Woodstock for Ayn Randers.

    Tea Party Announcer: ‘There’s a rumor circulating that the brown stuff some of you are picking up off the ground and eating is actually dogshit.’

  134. Lesley said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:00

    Teabaggers forgot to apply for the dumping permit. Bwahaha.

    t was a great idea, really. Take a million tea bags and dump them in Lafayette Park to protest government spending. Hip, hip, hoo-ray!

    But a funny thing happened en route to a visually pleasing Tax Day protest. The National Park Service said the tea party protesters didn’t have the proper permit to dump their bags.

    So instead of a raucous visual demonstration, all that was left was images of the tea party packing up their boxes of tea on a cold, soggy day in D.C.

  135. Bony Baloney said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:02

    You know, there’s two kinds of people: those who think “teabagging” is funny for the 117,000th time in a row, and the freaks who keep buying up ALL the handgun ammunition at every gun show in the country and don’t share the lulz about commie abortionist muslim jokes. I don’t know if any of you have ever tried to talk an armed drunk down from Martyr Ridge before, but I can make a shrewd guess about the ones who definitely HAVEN’T.

    Six murder-suicides over a weekend is horrifying and wrong, but this tea bag lone-gunman-goading bullshit is chock full of chuckles? Wait, I thought the dousing-with-pretend-petrol pantomime was some kind of clear and obvious warning?

    See, this is why there were so many Independents for Obama to bring on over to the winning team. And, also, the reason that if the election were held again this weekend, McCain would have a 50/50 shot. Same fertilizer in a different bag, “history will have to judge — it’s too soon to call it a failure,” and a really repellent sense of what’s amusing and/or deadly serious if you aren’t part of the club.

    The very first time a half-dozen decorated Catbox vets decide to tear shit up as a form of uncivil disobedience, this “teabagging” “muslin” horseshit is going straight down the memory hole. Knowing that for a moral certainty, well, it drives me to the point of irritation. Disemvowelling will begin with the first post naming names and quoting quotes about those kray-zee, kray-zee wingnuts and their humorous sense of collective outrage. You read it here first.

  136. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:03

    And, also, the reason that if the election were held again this weekend, McCain would have a 50/50 shot.

    Obama has a 62% approval rating, so dude, what are you smoking?

  137. Lusty Shacklefold said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:04

    Wingnut head blasting cap:

    11 Pirates Are Seized in Raid by French Navy

    Perhaps that should be “Freedom Navy”

  138. Righteous Bubba said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:04

    And, also, the reason that if the election were held again this weekend, McCain would have a 50/50 shot.

    Uh, no. He is not popular.

  139. i don't get it said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:06

    hey bone, wtf are you talking about?

  140. Lusty Shacklefold said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:06

    You know, there’s two kinds of people: those who think “teabagging” is funny for the 117,000th time in a row, and the freaks who keep buying up ALL the handgun ammunition at every gun show in the country and don’t share the lulz about commie abortionist muslim jokes.

    WE SURROUND THEM

  141. The Tragically Flip said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:07

    Well at least unilever (owner of lipton’s) is doing well today.

  142. J— said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:07

    Alert Mona!

    Hah.

    Come back, Mona, come back! We promise to be a little more respectful of Stossel and Salma Hayek.

  143. Molly Ivins said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:09

    You know, there are two kinds of people in the world: Those who think there are two kinds of people in the world, and those who don’t.

  144. tigrismus said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:10

    Woodstock for Ayn Randers: long-winded speeches, Lloyd Marcus, and teabags. It is the dawning of the Age of Hysterias.

  145. The Tragically Flip said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:11

    See, this is why there were so many Independents for Obama to bring on over to the winning team. And, also, the reason that if the election were held again this weekend, McCain would have a 50/50 shot.

    If only there was some kind of objective way to measure public opinion…oh well, I guess it is your opinion versus ours.

  146. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:15

    See, this is why there were so many Independents for Obama to bring on over to the winning team.

    I, too, am terribly, terribly concerned.

  147. FGFM said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:16

    Chicago teabagging.

    CNN’s Roesgen grills tea party protestor who calls Obama a “fascist,” says protest “highly promoted by the right-wing conservative network Fox”

  148. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:19

    Mark Cooper of the LAT rips the Teabaggers a new brew-hole:

    http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-cooper15-2009apr15,0,3158535.story

  149. Gottfried Leibniz said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:22

    There are 10 kinds of people in the world…..

  150. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:24

    There are 10 kinds of people in the world…..

    Hee hee

    I’m one of the 00th kind.

  151. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:24

    There are 10 kinds of people in the world…..

    How many does it take to change a lightbulb?

  152. Captain Beefheart said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:27

    There are only forty people in the world and five of them are hamburgers.

  153. Lusty Shacklefold said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:28

    Mark Cooper of the LAT rips the Teabaggers a new brew-hole

    “Marc Cooper is director of Annenberg(!!!1!1!!!!) Digital News at the Annenberg(!!elventee!11!) School for Communication at USC”

  154. g said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:29

    And, also, the reason that if the election were held again this weekend, McCain would have a 50/50 shot.

    I think not. For one, he’s disowning Palin. And pointing it out specifically, which I find a little bizarre on his part.

    No only did he omit her name from his list of possible leaders, he made a point of calling his omission to our attention. “I’ve left out somebody’s name and I’m going to hear about it,” he added with a laugh.

    I’m not sure why he chose to do this. Omitting her and letting others draw the conclusion, I could understand. Omitting her, and then pointing it out, and making a principled statement of why, I could understand, and even applaud. But omitting her, pointing it out, and then coyly teasing about it? What does that buy him?

    it makes him a double loser – it emphasizes his original poor judgement, and then instead of being able to claim he’s talking about her actual abilities, he makes it about the personal rift and the popularity rivalry.

    It’s like high school – he’s telling us that he’s not going to invite that bitch to his party.

  155. justme said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:32

    …those who understand binary,

  156. John McCain said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:33

    It’s like high school – he’s telling us that he’s not going to invite that bitch to his party.

    My friends, when a bitch no longer makes my dick hard I dump her like yesterday’s garbage. Just ask my first wife.

  157. bookmark it said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:33

    “My little teabag…” will become a term of endearment.

  158. m1k3y said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:34

    And, of course, you DO realize, do you not, that the San Jose tea party is being held at Plaza de Cesar Chavez. Honest.

    I have a 2pm meeting in palo alto or I’d take light rail and a light lunch down to see the festivities….

    mikey

  159. PeeJ said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:34

    How many does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Silly, programmers don’t change lightbulbs – it’s a hardware problem.

  160. D.N. Nation said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:36

    How many members of a particular demographic section does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A finite number. One to change the lightbulb, and the rest to do something stereotypical of that demographic section.

  161. That Girl said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:37

    The funniest thing about that document TPM found is that it advises that protesters “clearly articulate the tea party message.”

  162. Righteous Bubba said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:39

    I have a 2pm meeting in palo alto

    Good luck if it involves money for you. Bad luck if it involves taking it from my relatives.

  163. Lusty Shacklefold said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:39

    In photos of the tea parties it’s all Cartmans, no Clyde Frogs or Polly Prissypantses.

  164. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:40

    How many members of a particular demographic section does it take to change a lightbulb?

    That is the lightbulb joke to end all lightbulb jokes. Thank you.

  165. HelloDollyLlama said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:40

    Cool — for more on the teabaggery, check out http://hellodollyllama.blogspot.com/

    Come visit!

  166. tigrismus said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:43

    Aw, c’mon DN, how many malfunctioning robots does it take?

  167. FGFM said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:45

    Silly, programmers don’t change lightbulbs – it’s a hardware problem.

    Microsoft would simply declare darkness a standard.

  168. m1k3y said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:48

    Microsoft would simply declare darkness a standard.

    …and apply for a patent…

    mikey

  169. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:49

    Microsoft would simply declare darkness a standard.

    Hell, they’d market the product on “darkness”, claiming it was twice as fast as Apple’s “lightbulb” at shutting down!

  170. LittlePig said,

    April 15, 2009 at 21:58

    As least Glenn Reynolds got mildly pwned on NPR. Neil Conan (being waaaay too kind) spoke to InstaFreeloader at the Nashville tea party during Talk of the Nation. A caller came on and said “Yeah, I just got back from the Cedar Rapids teabagging party”.

    Neil tut-tutted at such humor (this while letting a government employee protest the government). Crap like that is why I quit giving money to NPR.

  171. kg said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:11

    Crap like that is why I quit giving money to NPR.

    Well that and every other commentator being from AEI or Heritage

  172. Lusty Shacklefold said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:15

    I’ve spent most of today watching an irritable infant pass gas and cry, so while I wasn’t able to personally attend a tea party I feel like I was there in spirit.

  173. cowalker said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:18

    Quite the opportunity for flash mobs/performance art. Wouldn’t it be funny if a car pulled up exactly 15 minutes into every tea party, black Obama supporters emerged with signs, and Acorn plants charged out of the tea partying mob (awkward if they’re the only ones at the protest) and yelled at the Obama supporters and waved their signs in a threatening manner. Then the Obama supporters and fake rednecks bow to each other (not letting their heads go below the others’ shoulders) and yell “Acorn foreveh!” before doing a Conga line away from the tea party.

  174. Lesley said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:23

    I can’t believe I’m Googling news results for “teabag.”

  175. Till said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:23

    Acorn plants

    They prefer to be called oak trees.

  176. PeeJ said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:25

    Neil tut-tutted at such humor (this while letting a government employee protest the government). Crap like that is why I quit giving money to NPR.

    Crap like what? “Letting” a government employee protest? So you think NPR should never ever have anyone except progressives on. Enforce a strict ideology. Sounds vaguely familiar…..

    Well that and every other commentator being from AEI or Heritage

    Saying “every other commentator” seems a bit…, um, … not based in reality.

    I *like* that they have those idiots on. The more nonsense they spout, the more they discredit themselves. Think jujutsu, using the opponents energy against them.

  177. Lesley said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:26

    Tee hee

    Atlanta’s Teabag, er, Tea Party will be hellish, packed
    April 15, 2009 at 1:02 pm by Thomas Wheatley in News

    Tonight anywhere from 5,000 to 10,000 people will converge upon the Georgia Capitol to shake their fists and dangle their rage-filled tea bags in protest over nanny-state, big-spending guvmint!

    Rage filled sacs. That must hurt.

  178. alec said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:34

    I *like* that they have those idiots on. The more nonsense they spout, the more they discredit themselves. Think jujutsu, using the opponents energy against them.

    The problem is that people like Heritage understand perfectly well that they represent a tiny minority and dishonestly at that, so their job is to poison the well: elevate the idea that no real American would put up with black Jew queers without doing something. They’re paid a lot of money and given a lot of resources to do this, and the only real purpose is threefold: legitimate insane behavior in order to increase the general social tension and achieve local political objectives; sneak actual lunatics in under the radar wherever possible using the national war chest and media machine; and Overton in the hard right by pretending to believe in the Fuhrer Principle.

    In the long run, Heritage will in fact discredit themselves, but they’re not a long-run organization – they were evidently set up under the assumption that by the time they had been screaming about illegal homos for twenty years, they’d have a friendly dictator in office. All they care about now is encouraging one lunatic at a time to secede from society and scream about welfare queens for the cameras.

  179. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:34

    Rage filled sacs

    Prolly look like these

  180. a different brad said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:36

    The malkin thing is on fox right now, and just congratulated herself for not being onstage.
    Today is awesome.

  181. Ken Lowery said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:38

    I *like* that they have those idiots on.

    Indeed. Let them hang themselves. Unlike conservative talk radio, our news actually DOES let them speak for themselves.

  182. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:38

    The malkin thing is on fox right now, and just congratulated herself for not being onstage.

    What do you mean? Is she distancing herself from the protests already?

  183. PeeJ said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:43

    *Most* NPR listeners are capable of and inclined toward judging for themselves. I am way familiar with the NPR demographics, trust me. When the fRighties appear on NPR their biggest effect is further convincing the listeners what dipshit fuckwads they are.

    As they are, however, large figures in public discourse, they should be aired as well as the more reasonable voices. To ask for anything else would be hypocritical.

    Cokie Roberts, OTOH, ought to get slapped upside the haid. Or maybe she did and that’s the problem. And yes, Juan Williams can go fuck himself as well. There, I’m showing how fair and balanced I am.

  184. alec said,

    April 15, 2009 at 22:55

    I really like the fact that, now it’s no longer exclusively Odom’s hanger-ons prancing around for the media (and what sadder a thing can one imagine than that?), the “tea party” phenomenon is largely a long rehash of the ugly venom Palin’s rallies existed mainly to dredge up.

    It’s like the world is deliberately contriving a way to make my prediction of a caretaker government true. The ruling party is now dealing with an opposition that thinks the way to get people to ignore the obsessive repetition of race-hate memes is to sucker them in with Austrian economics. All they have to do at this point is start pushing Belgian endive.

  185. bayville said,

    April 15, 2009 at 23:03

    You spelled moran wrong, moran.

  186. actor212 said,

    April 15, 2009 at 23:12

    You spelled moran wrong, moran.

    He’s, uhhhhhhhhhh, he’s using the Italian slang word for dumbass.

    Yea, ya maron, now git wit da program, eh?

    (sorry, DA, it was the best I could do on short notice)

  187. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,

    April 15, 2009 at 23:24

    Honk if I (Lim)baught you a flatscreen

  188. commie atheist said,

    April 15, 2009 at 23:25

    I think he meant his guy:

    http://www.marcmaron.com/

    Or maybe this one:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maron

  189. henry lewis said,

    April 15, 2009 at 23:31

    From the NYT:

    Here’s a funny picture of woman wearing hat made of teabags in the rain.

    Some scrolling required.

  190. Smut Clyde said,

    April 15, 2009 at 23:33

    All they have to do at this point is start pushing Belgian endive.

    Here at Bimler Research Laboratories we have found that if you put endives in the blender along with rum, lime juice, sugar and ice, you obtain a chicory daiquiri.

  191. tigrismus said,

    April 15, 2009 at 23:38

    And when you asked what it was, did the maker say “it’s a chicory daiquiri, doc”?

  192. Ken Lowery said,

    April 15, 2009 at 23:44

    Here’s a funny picture of woman wearing hat made of teabags in the rain.

    Again: THIS IS THE BEST DAY.

  193. a different brad said,

    April 15, 2009 at 23:52

    The malkin thing said it in the context of it being about the people and not the stars on stage, which is to say as part of an “it’s NOT ASTROTURF” rant.

  194. alec said,

    April 16, 2009 at 0:37

    The malkin thing said it in the context of it being about the people and not the stars on stage, which is to say as part of an “it’s NOT ASTROTURF” rant.

    At which point Sam Wurzelbacher took the stage and she lead the audience in a rousing chorus of “Heil Joe Six-Pack!”

  195. ckc (not kc) said,

    April 16, 2009 at 0:42

    I’ve spent most of today watching an irritable infant pass gas and cry

    …and this is different from the tea parties…how??

  196. Gentlewoman said,

    April 16, 2009 at 0:55

    Gentlewymmyn, transgendered sis/brethren and phallused oppressor pigs…

    lol wut? Sorry, I missed the meeting, I was making myself a cup of tea. Was DA talking to me there? I hope to hell he didn’t volunteer me for another fucking committee.

    …we meet once again masked in the secrecy of night and also masked in the secrecy of wearing masks. We are a secretive, masked bunch, with secret masks generously provided on the sly by the Soros Foundations Network.

    Wait, what? THERE WERE MASKS??? FREE, seekrit, Soros-provided masks?

    Fuck, NO ONE tells me ANYTHING!! I’ve been attending these stupid boring planning meetings for years, AND baking the cookies for break time and the one time there’s GOOD, FREE stuff is the one time I’m not there.

    I hate you guys and your stoopid revolushun club.

    I QUIT!

    PS I do not know if there were any tea parties here deep in wildest rural Republican Connecticut for me to infiltrate because I didn’t care enough to find out; but I did just get a robo-call from those NOM assholes. Good luck to those homophobic douchebags getting support from anyone here in Mind Your Own Fucking Business Because We Are Kickin’ It Old-school-GOP Land.

  197. Smut Clyde said,

    April 16, 2009 at 1:08

    At which point Sam Wurzelbacher took the stage
    You people are hopelessly off-message and all the Young Republicans cool kids will jeer at you for clinging to last month’s pop icons when everyone knows that Lloyd Marcus is the new symbol of popular rebellion.

    Pajamas Media TV has discovered him and brought him on board to be the face of PJTV’s American Tea Party project.

  198. Brandi said,

    April 16, 2009 at 2:19

    I don’t know who Marc Cooper is, but his simplified instructions for throwing a teabag party were precious:

    “Go to a hobby store. Buy a scale model of a U.N. One-World-Government Black Helicopter and a tube of glue. Toss the model kit. Sniff the entire tube of glue. You’re all set for the party.”

    http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-cooper15-2009apr15,0,3158535.story

  199. sarah said,

    April 16, 2009 at 4:15

    i’ve been laid up (literally) with a kind of scary flu for the last couple of days. all i’ve been doing is [horrifying symptom list redacted]. i mention this because this comment thread is the first thing that’s made me laugh in days. thanks, y’all! keep it teabaggy!

  200. j price vincenz said,

    April 16, 2009 at 13:32

    Hey (disappointed), I posted the link for that image two or three days ago, and no hat tip??? How disappointing, although I am more than pleased to see the image on this morning’s post.

  201. j price vincenz said,

    April 17, 2009 at 2:00

    still disappointed…. a hat tip would be nice.

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