Where is Mirsky now that we need him??

Enough condiment talk for a 3Bulls thread.

If you guys start in on the Sink Lettuces, I shan’t be back.

HERETICS!

Garlic mayo (aoili) is also an excellent condiment on fries. Basically, if God had wanted us to put tomato-scented sugar solutions our fries, She wouldn’t have made the sacred potato such a wonderful base for delicious grease in all its varieties.

What, whereas true-blue American patriots would insist they are both the same thing?

Fucking weak sauce, steamer boy.

Fazizzled.

president obama seemingly abandoning his brother to a life of squalor and getting stoned is a different issue from the issues raised by allowing these other, different, people to visit. under different circumstances, libs would be the first to squawk that there is a difference between smoking pot and committing sexual assault, but it gets so confusing down here in the hive that issues sometimes get muddled.

I have fond memories, especially of the chip wagons that used to supply a ton of fries drenched in malt vinegar and salt wrapped in a newspaper cone. Those were the best fries ever.

I discovered that at the age of ten in Montreal and spent the next decade acting like I invented it. Vinegar has the side benefit of keeping Mrs. __B from stealing my fries: she’s of the Russian persuasion and will drown my fries in sour cream if preventative shock and awe tactics are not employed.

Despite being a furriner, I am not from the part of the country that invented the abomination unto the eyes of gods and men (and not a few goddesses and women, too) known as poutine, and pronounced appropriately “poo tin” in the Quebec vernacular, as in take a shit in a can and dump it on some fries.

American cheese is not, never was, can not in any way be called or mistaken for food.

You will note that occasionally we feed it to disfavored pets and the poor. And it fills a vital niche for the iPhone-buying asshole for whom the process of cheesemaking just isn’t artificial and dehumanizing enough.

Oh boy! Ice cream! Pass the ketchup!

Ice cream is one of the many things a Sonoran relative of mine will not eat without hot sauce. Others include turkey, mashed potatoes, and most kinds of bean.

(He’s actually not big on ice cream, or most candy, at all – the American childhood diet includes a sickening amount of sugar, so by and large what we like to eat as snacks are intolerably sweet to someone for whom the idea cognate to candy implies a pastry.)

alec: A gallon of ice cream, eh? No real ice cream comes by the gallon, boy. Real ice cream comes by the centilitre and is made with snowflake baby fetuses and unicorn milk.

Oh, I won’t dispute that it’s ice cream in much the same way that “orange drink” only manages to qualify because of the name of the color, but it’s cheap and similar enough to ice cream to fool Jesus.

Here in Amurca, we put ketchup on our boogers.

We call that “jelly” here in Amurca. Keep it straight.

So far as I’m aware, the only food items whose universal attribution is native to the country of supposed origin are Turkish coffee and American cheese.

American cheese is not, never was, can not in any way be called or mistaken for food.

Oh no, you din’t just make fun of Miracle Whip!

Miracle Whip does not have flavor. Whatever it is that it has, it better keep it to itself.

Also, you trailer trash, low rent, redneck scuzzbuckets aren’t aware you are talking about tomato catsup. One can make catsup from many things – any fruit, really. I once made a blackberry catsup to go on pecan crusted catfish fillets.

[shhh - I'm not allowed to tell you that even Jaques Pepin occasionally uses a few dollops of ketchup. . SHSHSHSHSHHH!]