Apr
10
10
Shorter Charles Krauthammer
Above: The world owes him a wedgie
‘It’s Your Country Too, Mr. President’
- President Obama’s flowery words will never lead to any substantial international agreements, but his remarks are capable of hastening America’s ruin.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
El Cid said,
April 10, 2009 at 15:26
These guys are really, really pissed that they missed their window of opportunity to bomb North Korea and devastate that section under Bush Jr. Really pissed. I can clearly imagine Kraphammer throwing all his toys around the room as he writes this column.
SomeNYGuy said,
April 10, 2009 at 15:29
Dr. Krauthammer’s only true desire is to provide all Americans of every race, creed and color with free diving lessons. Is that so wrong?
El Cid said,
April 10, 2009 at 15:31
section of the world
J Neo Marvin said,
April 10, 2009 at 15:32
They really are grasping at straws now. It’s amazing.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
April 10, 2009 at 15:35
You wanna know why the world laughs at the US when they try to mount that moral high horse? THIS IS WHY YOU FUCKING SHIT-BAG.
FUCK YOU CHUCKLES. FUCK YOU WITH A RUSTY CATTLEPROD.
Hey, if Gitmo’s all fun and games, then it won’t be onerous on you at all to move there for five, six, seven years. Seriously asshole, do it.
J Neo Marvin said,
April 10, 2009 at 15:37
These guys are really, really pissed that they missed their window of opportunity to bomb North Korea
And Iran! We were so close to having a splendid little war with Iran and the Bushies fucked up the opportunity. Now our neo-con dreams are shattered and we have this guy in office. Guess we’ll just have to earn our paycheck with ever more circular concern-troll arguments.
[/pundit]
Jed said,
April 10, 2009 at 15:37
Krauthammer: the slapstick sophist. What a goof.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
April 10, 2009 at 15:42
Fred Hiatt has to go.
Poetic Justice, Inc. said,
April 10, 2009 at 15:44
Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Krauthammer’s son someday adopted some Korean kids like they were completely human and everything?
Dylan said,
April 10, 2009 at 15:57
Ugh, and Ebert thinks this guy is honorable?
I honestly can’t see how.
max factor said,
April 10, 2009 at 15:59
Holy shit, is there anyone at WaPo who isn’t a pompous, unctuous, lying, and disingenuous shitbag any more?
Zifnab25 said,
April 10, 2009 at 16:01
I think I see the problem. Obama keeps doing things using words that Charles Krauthammer doesn’t know the meaning of. No wonder every time he talks, he fucks things up. Obama, I mean.
Although, he does make an excellent point. Krauthammer, that is. Obama went on his whirlwind European tour last week and NOTHING IS FIXED YET!!! He’s bungled foreign policy in the same way that he’s dropped the ball on the economy. Why, look at the DOW. Just look at it, will you?! (Ok, not yesterday’s DOW, but, you know, the DOW over the aggregate since November.)
Oh, America. Sweet dear America that I love? Why did you reject brave Sir
RobinMcCain when you needed him most?the_millionaire_lebowski said,
April 10, 2009 at 16:04
Oh wow a Travis post!
Till said,
April 10, 2009 at 16:15
How does one make some half-coherent jibe about a “bridge partner” without working in the term “dummy”? Yet another example of failing to bring the obvious funny.
tigrismus said,
April 10, 2009 at 16:45
Fatuous grandiloquence, I assume you’ve met Mr Krathammer? Ah yes, I see you’re well acquainted. Seriously, dudes, get a room.
tigrismus said,
April 10, 2009 at 16:47
Aw, man, I would misspell Kraphammer.
Major Kong said,
April 10, 2009 at 17:23
To Krauthammer anything less than a full scale nuclear laydown on North Korea, preferably this afternoon, counts as “appeasement”.
Bitter Scribe said,
April 10, 2009 at 17:23
Obama blew an opportunity to start another pointless, bloody, expensive war against an enemy who is no threat over an action of no consequence! How will the Republic survive?
Rightwingsnarkle said,
April 10, 2009 at 17:34
The world owes him a wedgie
Fuck that. I’m recruiting folks for some serious cock-punching.
Ezzthetic said,
April 10, 2009 at 17:46
“Rules must be binding. Violations must be punished.”
Why is it that I find myself wanting to answer “yes, mistress” to all of this?
Fuck on Toast said,
April 10, 2009 at 18:38
I can only assume Ebert was directly comparing him to O’Reilly.
Jay B. said,
April 10, 2009 at 18:49
Tommy Udo had the right idea in Kiss of Death.
Dr.BDH said,
April 10, 2009 at 19:25
…relying on America’s unique technological edge in missile defenses to provide a measure of nuclear safety… This is like relying on America’s unique technological edge in flying ponies to solve our energy crisis. Dr. K must have some tiny clue that our missile defense system serves only to enrich some aerospace companies, was the fever dream of a senile former Hollywood actor, and has never worked. Of all the taxpayer money ever wasted, this was the most worthless waste ever. The program should’ve been killed in 1998,
cowalker said,
April 10, 2009 at 20:29
Dragon King Wangchuck said:
Hey don’t forget the wonderful bonus feature that prisoners in Guantanamo enjoy–the suspense of not knowing if they’re going to be there for five, six, seven years or fifty years or if they’ll die there. Of course now they know that they won’t be in Gitmo, but they still don’t know what they’re accused of, what the penalty for that might be or where they might end up imprisoned.
With A Single Whisper, The Goddamn Batman Can Lay Waste To Entire Nations--Oh, Wait, That's Black Bolt. What Do I Have, Again? Oh Yeah, All The Cool Toys said,
April 10, 2009 at 20:50
We should totally take on Iran and North Korea just to show them what’s what! I mean, it’s not like the last president bankrupted the country and ruined the military by taking on the one country in the Axis of EE-vul that didn’t have a nukular program, or anything.
pants said,
April 10, 2009 at 21:03
I think this is my favorite photoshop EVAH.
Flying Fox said,
April 10, 2009 at 21:31
MIght it be that the US can’t keep ex-detainees here because they don’t want to stay?
Another Kiwi said,
April 10, 2009 at 22:02
I love the thought of obsessive denigration. Like a Tourettes Syndrome where all one does is run down everyone else and say their ideas…are…shit.
Well, now that you mention it, Goathammer does do that as do most of the RW stapling machines. I guess that means something.
the real Jesus said,
April 10, 2009 at 22:26
The global economic meltdown was sanctioned by my dad, God the Father, because He knew that with nothing else to distract the Bush Administration, a war on Iran in time for election ‘08 was a given.
So as you lose your job and/or struggle to make ends meet, remember: over a million lives have been saved by your current sacrifice.
Thank you.
zombie rotten mcdonald said,
April 11, 2009 at 0:18
Does that dude have a cleft NOSE?!?
Big Bad Bald Bastard said,
April 11, 2009 at 4:18
Dr. K must have some tiny clue that our missile defense system serves only to enrich some aerospace companies, was the fever dream of a senile former Hollywood actor, and has never worked. Of all the taxpayer money ever wasted, this was the most worthless waste ever.
Dr BDH, der Kraphammer would be very concerned at your distasteful failure to fellate St Ronbo’s blessed corpse.
he flips said,
April 11, 2009 at 7:16
Are you no longer aware of all internet traditions?
RvB said,
April 11, 2009 at 14:46
“Make the rubble bounce!” I think that happens every time the Hammer of the Krauts shakes his head.
satch said,
April 11, 2009 at 18:15
Thanks for the heads up, guys. I fully expect that this column will appear in Sunday’s edition of our local wingnut rag, the Springfield (MA) Republican, since they can be counted on to recycle the dregs of the WaPo op-ed section a day later.
shane said,
April 13, 2009 at 4:39
Since it’s Easter and all, may I say, in the spirit of the risen Christ, that this guy is like an even-uglier and way more stupid Foghorn Leghorn. And just as relevant.
sadisticon said,
June 6, 2009 at 1:01
I remember this article – vaguely. I think I lost interest in this man when he made some negative comments about Quebec – a Province in which he was actually raised – and went on to brag about his linguistic abilities. Eew.
His whole shtick of late is to throw barbs at the Obama presidency. I accept that he doesn’t like the man but he’s really, truly deeply making it pretty obvious that he thinks it’s something personal. His attacks are impolite and arrogant; too bad for him… too bad for him