3
Something for the Dennis
Going back to Tintin’s ode to Dennis Prager (Eight Ways To Lose A Wife In Two Minutes), looks like a case of Good news, everyone!
The law – which some lawmakers say was never debated in parliament – is intended to regulate family life inside Afghanistan’s Shiite community, [...] One of the most controversial articles stipulates [...] “As long as the husband is not traveling, he has the right to have sexual intercourse with his wife every fourth night,” [...] “Unless the wife is ill or has any kind of illness that intercourse could aggravate, the wife is bound to give a positive response to the sexual desires of her husband.”
Guess it could be worse — the wife might have been required to travel to her husband’s location to have herself get raped. [Emphasis added, rape in original.]
owlbear1 said,
April 3, 2009 at 0:38
Religions:Why we can’t have nice things.
LittlePig said,
April 3, 2009 at 0:50
I thought he rose on the third day, not the fourth….
Oh wait, wrong guy. Nevermind.
Zifnab said,
April 3, 2009 at 0:52
I guess a high five or a round of applause doesn’t cut it.
klyde said,
April 3, 2009 at 0:55
So much for our western educated forward looking small d democrat.
Righteous Bubba said,
April 3, 2009 at 0:56
And hey, it’s an attempt to curry favour on Karzai’s part.
Hoo ray.
Renmiri said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:01
Add to that the fact that the CIA was giving viagra to those old warlords… Poor Afgan girls!
You Can't Put Lipstick On A Repig said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:03
Does this also include provisions for making airport restroom stalls more sexually responsive?
We gotta make sure the conservatives in Afghanistan are happy, too.
mikey said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:05
Holy SHIT!
It turns out that my ex-wife was just a believer in Sharia Law?
mikey
Stephen said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:09
“Hey guys, my wife won’t have sex with me. What do you think I should do?”
“Treat her well, respect her, and make sex enjoyable for her as well as you?”
“Hahaha! Good one!”
“I know, I was just joking. Here, let’s pass this law requiring our wives to have sex with us.”
commie atheist said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:20
Some fashion accessories for Dennis Prager’s next wife:
http://www.fldscrafts.com/index.php?cPath=51
Galactic Dustbin said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:20
Why again does the American Right hate the Taliban? It seems their agendas dovetail nicely.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:25
Galactic Dustbin said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:20
Why again does the American Right hate the Taliban? It seems their agendas dovetail nicely.
The right actually hates competition.
Nom de Plume said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:33
The right actually hates competition.
I say we should allow the American religious right and Sharia Law to compete in the open marketplace of ideas. That’s what the free market is all about, after all.
J— said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:34
But wait, there’s more, possibly.
From The Guardian.
islmfaoscist said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:45
BREAKING! Must credit S,N!
RedAssState confirms that ORGASM-bama threatens to seduce our white wimmen with his massive stimulus to their hoohas.
UPDATE: Jeff Emanuel? For real?! Never in my life have I heard of anyone with such an unusual name.
Cpl. Cam said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:45
Well, you can’t rape the [strikethrough]willing[/strikethrough] legally obliged.
Cpl. Cam said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:47
I always wondered if I could make HTML work, now I know I can’t.
Righteous Bubba said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:50
You need triangular brackets. Also Wordpress likes “strike” and not “strikethrough”, so there’s that.
Jennifer said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:54
The preview function is your friend.
tata said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:55
Act surprised when Expedia reports an explosion of Afghani men traveling single-occupancy and wives home mastering the art of the long-distance hotel reservation.
m1k3y said,
April 3, 2009 at 1:56
Actually, in Wordpress, the preview function is a big fat liar, so expect to be misled, kinda like catechism….
mikey
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:02
The preview function is your friend.
Like m1k3y said, it’s not a particularly good friend.
Jennifer said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:04
Like m1k3y said, it’s not a particularly good friend.
Oh, I totally agree that Wordpress is a fuck-your-boyfriend-while-you’re-out-of-town type of friend, but compared to the boyfriend-fucking Wordpress does, its preview quirks are the equivalent of that friend who drives you nuts because they’re always late and they never bother to call to let you know they’ll be an hour late.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:06
HTML works hard at farming and criticizing DINOs.
m1k3y said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:09
HTML works hard at farming and criticizing DINOs.
…So you don’t have to…
mikey
krassen said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:10
what the article failed to point out is that the legislation also includes this section:
&.3.12. To elicit arousal before sex, the wife shall perform the song “Come Mr. Taliban, What a Large Banana!” while belly-dancing.
Smut Clyde said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:13
Wordpress Preview function assures me that my bald spot is hardly noticeable.
Some Guy said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:15
See, MY main problem is how darn vague this law would be.
““As long as the husband is not traveling, he has the right to have sexual intercourse with his wife every fourth night,”
See what I mean? Are they only allowed intercourse every four nights, sorta like a Muslim mini-Pon’far? Does this law mean that sex is only ever allowed at night? How does the counting system work? Is it a set rotation, or is it a cumulative sum that resets every time love is made? What if he IS traveling? If he leaves on Day 3, and comes back 6 days later, does the next day count as day 4, or does he have to wait two more days?
Talk about legislating for failure.
Jennifer said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:15
I have no words for this.
m1k3y said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:18
Yeah, yeah.
And what if the dood spends five days chewing khat and can’t get a boner. Does she get a pass until he gets a good nights sleep and a big bowl of lentils, or at that point does she “owe” him a couple?
Do you get rollover rolls-inna-hay?
mikey
Jesus said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:21
In my defense, Jennifer, I AM old and, to be blunt, dead.
That I can come at all is pretty damn kewl….
Wordpress Preview function said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:22
No, those jeans don’t make your bum look big.
Typical Liberal USA Hater said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:32
But but but we should not judge other cultures, the West is evil, Islam is the Light (head explodes)
Smut Clyde said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:36
Islam is the Light
Oddly enough, I heard exactly the same words in the sound effects from my Funny Bunny jellybean dispenser.
commie atheist said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:40
Islam is the Light
Pish tosh. Everyone knows that Lucifer is the Light.
Righteous Bubba said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:42
Less filling!
m1k3y said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:43
Islam is the Light
Mormons are the Heat
Jews give the touch
Christians take the money
It’s kinda like an old song by The Who…
mikey
J— said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:43
Islam is the Light
My very reliable sources tell me Obama put this on the Queen’s iPod.
Michael Steele said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:43
Tastes great!
Loneoak said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:45
It will be interesting to see what sort of man stands up in front of a court and tells the world that he ain’t gettin laid.
Of course this is the sort of law that is mostly meant to be used to scare women to operate only within the patriarchy and rarely enforced.
Nom de Plume said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:47
It will be interesting to see what sort of man stands up in front of a court and tells the world that he ain’t gettin laid.
Yes, but consortium be done about it?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:48
Actually, this sort of law gets enforced when angry d00ds get away with murder.
Joe Max said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:50
Did the troll’s head explode? Oh yay!
How did this idiotic meme get inserted into the wingnut consciousness anyway? Why would anyone think that progressives, especially of the type that post here, would have any sympathy for radical Islam?
Progressives disapprove of other cultures all the time. But our disapproval of their religious practices doesn’t lead us to think it’s OK to violate international law and American ideals to go out and kill them, anymore than we’d think it was OK to go shoot up people in a church in America.
It’s not liberals who do that, you know. Not even the Weather Underground or the fucking SLA ever killed anyone in a church. In fact, they were rather inept at killing anyone anywhere, probably because they we stoned at the time. The best domestic terrorists (the ones with the high body-counts) are always right wingers, hands down.
And also, Islamic PENIS, I guess…
J— said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:51
Actually, this sort of law gets enforced when angry d00ds get away with murder.
Among other acts of violence.
Smut Clyde said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:57
On each and all those holy nights
When duster’s dust becomes the sale
Islam is the Light
That doesn’t sound right.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:57
How did this idiotic meme get inserted into the wingnut consciousness anyway?
It’s the wingnut inability to see anything but black and white – they’re For Life, therefore liberals worship death, they love freedom, so we hate it, etc.
They want all Muslims dead, so we must love everything about Muslims.
"Oh Stewardess, I Speak 'Nut" said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:59
“I say we should allow the American religious right and Sharia Law to compete in the open marketplace of ideas. That’s what the free market is all about, after all.” “Yes, but consortium be done about it?” – Nom de Plume
Nom de Plume wins the internet. This is the best thread ever that hasn’t involved furries.
J— said,
April 3, 2009 at 2:59
That doesn’t sound right.
That’s because the ending couplet should pair up Islam the Light and touching myself to my delight.
teh Gorn said,
April 3, 2009 at 3:03
Um, sorry. Just a quick question and I’ll be on my way.
Is Andrea Mitchell a lizard?
‘Cause I’m thinking she might want to lay my eggs…
Typical Republican said,
April 3, 2009 at 3:03
You libs are just upset that George W. Bush was proven correct that attacking and invading an already war-torn country would put that country on the road to democracy.
Liberals. Hmf.
Righteous Bubba said,
April 3, 2009 at 3:08
Skyrockets in flight
Islam is the light
Smut Clyde said,
April 3, 2009 at 3:08
the ending couplet should pair up Islam the Light and touching myself to my delight.
…and be sung to the tune of Greensleeves.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
April 3, 2009 at 3:09
Liberals. Hmf.
I call fake Typical Republican – today’s typical Republican doesn’t know the name “George W. Bush”.
Typical Republican said,
April 3, 2009 at 3:48
I’m real, alright.
Just a little out of practice.
And note the spelling on ‘Hmf.’ Always the hallmark of the genuine article.
Nom de Plume said,
April 3, 2009 at 3:51
Is Andrea Mitchell a lizard?
You just watched her in HD too, huh?
mikey said,
April 3, 2009 at 3:57
I’m gonna tell you what I think.
I spent an important bit of my life doing my country’s bidding. I spent a decades trying to understand why. And I never quite got right.
But god dammit. A country led by Barack Obama, and a country that can give us someone like Michelle Obama is a country, ultimately, worth bleeding for.
It’s funny that after all this time, all this hate and bitterness, I’m finding something to love about this piece of dirt…
mikey
Some Guy said,
April 3, 2009 at 4:04
mikey,
it might just be me, but I think every public speech and appearance Barack does, should be accompanied with Michelle in a tank top doing bench presses and curls. And glaring at Republicans with those firey crazy eyes of hers. Maybe get “Mayhem” tattoo’d on her knuckles.
I”m open to suggestions, but I think the base idea is pretty sweet.
islmfaoscist said,
April 3, 2009 at 4:10
But god dammit. A country led by Barack Obama, and a country that can give us someone like Michelle Obama is a country, ultimately, worth bleeding for.
I have to agree, it’s really an indescribable feeling to read news stories each day buried on page 3 like “President Obama to double US food relief to poor countries.” I still have to pinch myself that we’re no longer living in the same world we were last fall.
Bina said,
April 3, 2009 at 4:35
This should REALLY make the troll’s head explode.
Megann McAlthouse said,
April 3, 2009 at 4:40
At least the sacrifice of our soldiers and money has paid a fine reward. It was well worth fighting for our “values”.
Jon Lester said,
April 3, 2009 at 4:46
islamofascist, those idiots at RedState still refuse to accept that modern Russia is more democratic than Afghanistan ever will be. I’ll expand on that another time but maybe you all believe me already.
jim said,
April 3, 2009 at 4:50
Sort of interesting that the fellas are also required to put out – at least once every four MONTHS.
Just imagine that court-case.
actor212 said,
April 3, 2009 at 14:57
I thought he rose on the third day, not the fourth….
He did rise on the third day.
He just didn’t come again until the fourth.
Kip W said,
April 19, 2009 at 4:54
Conservatives are really, really concerned about how women are treated in Islamic countries. And gays. Just listen to them.
It’s their ‘toilet paper’ strategy: They give a shit over there so they don’t have to give a shit over here.