Comments on: Our Plan To Fix Your Car: Do Coke, Sell Parts From Your Car To Buy Coke

By: The Goddamn Batman Is Considering Converting The Goddamn Batmobile To Run On Biodiesel Rendered From The Fat Of The Joker's Victims (Hey, Waste Not, Want Not)

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 16:10:44 +0000

For most of these clowns, “alternative energy source” means filling up with regular instead of premium.

By: jim

jim — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 04:00:53 +0000

We want to institute a Surprise Buttsecks policy – but the Democrats say no.
We want a new NASA mission to enable President Obama to personally plant Old Glory on the surface of the sun – but the Democrats say no.
We want to fund an expedition into the Hollow Earth to exploit its abundant natural resources – but the Democrats say no.
We want to have our cake & eat it too, then do the same to yours, & we want to do it all via your bank-account &/or pension – forever – but the Democrats say no.
We want to take on all the many powers of our lord & master Cthulhu so as to become gods & rule over you unto eternity, making you our slaves & concubines, laughing at your helpless misery & tormenting you for our delight – but the Democrats say no.
Obviously, President Obama is one of the nattering nabobs of negativity long ago foretold by the great prophet Saint Agnew.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 22:49:15 +0000

Gavin, you should h/t Jennifer for the “Underpants Gnome Budget.”

By: Barney

Barney — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 22:15:37 +0000

“We have to burn this country to save it.”

By: Robert

Robert — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 22:01:40 +0000

I read this great book recently where some really smart people in Colorado had a cool device that sucked oil right out of the oil shale without any messy drilling or refining. Also, something about using the static electricity in the air to power things. We should all read that book and start using the cool technology they used.

But not the Thompson Harmonizer. I don’t think we need that one.

By: Fast Eddie

Fast Eddie — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 21:19:00 +0000

I too have developed an alternative energy plan far superior to the liebrul sociohomslamunistofascist fantasies which are nothing more than plots to reduce us all to a “Flinstones”-esque standard of living whereby our cars are propelled via foot power.

My plan? Instead of continuing to pay terrorists to supply oil to make the gasoline for my car, I will siphon gas from the tanks of my neighbors’ cars. Used gas is a wonderful alternative to using new gas, and if everybody in the country simply started siphoning the tanks of everybody elses’ cars, soon we’d be on the Republican Road to Recovery with a completely self-contained gasoline supply.

By: tigrismus

tigrismus — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 20:06:33 +0000

I like pie Jesu.

By: Another Kiwi

Another Kiwi — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 19:43:58 +0000

They are for Pater Familias before it got all pansy and "the power over life and death was abolished".

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 19:30:14 +0000

We are for nice Mommy–not mean Daddy.
Yes, but warm mother or cold mother? Pia mater or dura mater?
The people demand details.

By: Smut Clyde

Smut Clyde — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 19:27:44 +0000

PLEASE don’t start the whole resistance/futile thing again
My borgone accumulator. Let me show you it.

By: Sockpuppet #47

Sockpuppet #47 — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 18:38:37 +0000

Most Republicans think the tax cuts are somewhere near the prostate actually..

By: Rosenbaum

Rosenbaum — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 18:30:50 +0000

Also and also.

By: jim

jim — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 17:36:48 +0000

“And the Democrats are telling us no…”

“…you frakking idiots. Get away from the steering wheel! No wonder you guys screwed up for 8 years. That’s not a plan, that’s a string of sentences. You couldn’t plan a kid’s birthday party. How do you even reproduce? Does she have to tell you that tax cuts are somewhere near her ovaries, so you get all excited and jizz in the right place? “

By: ice weasel

ice weasel — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 15:05:04 +0000

Given the retards this pamphlet is aimed at I’d say the graphics are perfect.

By: Willy

Willy — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 13:52:20 +0000

We are for more money–not less. We are for more success–not less. We are for better things–not worse. We are for improvement–not decline. We are for happy–not sad. We are for food–not hunger. We are for nice Mommy–not mean Daddy. But the Democrats say no.

fify.

By: Erik W.

Erik W. — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 13:48:33 +0000

Rhyme 'Em To Death reconstructs the trial from Victor Hugo's Hunchback of Notre Dame from a new perspective, that of a minor character - the goat. The trial of the goat, a postscript in the Hugo novel, has been extended and enlivened [...]

By: El Cid

El Cid — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 13:46:54 +0000

All you libruls won’t be laughing when the Republicans blow you away with their new and secret plan to move to an entirely wish-based economy.

By: White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism

White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 13:42:15 +0000

Actually, the GOP plan is very simple.

Step one: shit in hat.

Step two: clap on head.

By: 59 Les Paul Copy

59 Les Paul Copy — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 13:19:06 +0000

PLEASE don’t start the whole resistance/futile thing again. Because I just, I dunno, can’t resist it.

By: Harry Upshirt

Harry Upshirt — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 13:16:22 +0000

Oil Shale, Tar Sands, Clean Coal.

The oil shale process is very destructive and costs at least $60 just to produce a barrel. They’re talking about building nuclear reactors in northern Alberta to make the tar sands process more economical and ‘less’ damaging. ‘Clean coal’ is an oxymoron.

These are the energy sources the world should be running away from. I guess that’s part of their attraction to the GOP.