Shorter Victor Davis Hanson: We need a new kind of leader, one who shows his independence from Wall Street by cutting rich people’s taxes.
Shorter Hans A. von Spakovsky: Executives must have a short-term economic incentive (and government subsidies) to rebuild the same businesses that short-term economic incentive caused them to destroy.
Shorter David Kahane: While President Obama-Stalin-Castro-Lenin-Tito-Ho-Che-Mao was yukkin it up with Leno, trying to sugar-coat his Communistic Satanic Communism, my family and I drank and joked, knowing that America is doomed. Are we not the epitome of sangfroid?
Shorter Larry Kudlow: We owe the stock market’s rise in the last few days to the fact that Milton Friedman’s theories are being implemented by the Fed, while Barack Obama’s policies are not — yet.
Shorter Fr. Thomas Berg & Michael Augros: We see your relaxed abortion laws, laws that make it easier for victims to sue pedophile priests, your forcing conscientious doctors to dispense emergency contraceptions, and your opposition to our opposition to gay marriage for what it all really means: you’re implementing a pogrom on Catholics.
Shorter Mario Loyola: Liberty or security? To torture or not torture? These questions were pondered deeply by the geniuses of the Bush Administration whose broad knowledge of Enlightenment philosophy led them to decide as they did. Eventually, the simple Obama will come to understand and appreciate his predecessors.
Shorter Jay Nordlinger: John Negroponte is a delightful man who regaled me with his adventures in Iraq, Vietnam, and Latin America.
Shorter Duncan Currie: Before Obama becomes totally protectionist and punishes outsourcers, he should read this unbiased and informative paper commissioned by the Business Roundtable and like-minded trade groups.
Shorter Mark Steyn: Ok, in theory perhaps, AIG exec positions could be outsourced to Indians. But demagogues who preach class warfare — people like Barney Frank — have precluded that possibility, which is just the latest way by which they are making it even worse for the little poor people by being so mean to the precious, precious rich people.
Shorter Clifford D. May: Woe to you my fellow countrymen who no longer believe in American Exceptionalism, for such loss of faith will inexorably lead to the sort of European pussification which ends character-building economic hardships and invites total Islamofascist domination.