Shorter Bill Kristol

“Obama Persists on Iran”

  • Obama’s slow and steady style may be fine for dealing with healthcare and the economy, but it’s not the way to go about foreign policy. I want lots of bombs dropped on Persians, like, immediately.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


 

Comments: 31

 
 
 

Is stopping Iran from getting nuclear weapons really like improving health care or advancing the Middle East peace process? I would have thought not.

Well Billy, I’d imagine, with that forehead, every problem does seem like a nail to you doesn’t it?

The American (and European) position — and the position of candidate Obama — has been that this Iranian regime acquiring nuclear weapons is “unacceptable.” If that’s so, then there’s a deadline, so to speak, to all the incremental efforts.

Actually Billy, the world isn’t a bunch of black & white parallel lines.

And since, by all accounts, that deadline is fast approaching, there would have to be a certain speed to the hoped-for “steady progress.”

We’re familiar with the track record of the people you listen to Billy.

Just sayin’,…

President Obama seems to evince no sense of urgency about Iran’s nuclear program. Did his relaxed statement about Iran tonight suggest he has quietly decided to accept the previously unacceptable?

Or perhaps he is just isn’t the consummate bed-wetter that you are, Billy?

 
 

this Iranian regime acquiring nuclear weapons is “unacceptable.” If that’s so, then there’s a deadline, so to speak, to all the incremental efforts. And since, by all accounts, that deadline is fast approaching

If “by all accounts” you mean “no shred of proof that Iran is working on a nuclear weapons program,” well, okay.

Maybe we should just start calling it “nuclear weapons related program activities”. We know where they are, they’re just north, south, east and west somewhat of Tehran.

 
 

Hiring Kristol shows that not only is Fred Hiatt a stupid man already, but he is getting even stupider.

 
 

This should maybe be added to the Kristof post, but, anyway, HA HA LIBS THE SURGE WORKED BUT YOU WILL ADMIT THE SURGE IS WORKING YOU MUST ADMIT THE SURGE IS WORKING:

from Informed Comment

Hamza Hendawi of AP says his interviews and on-the-ground researches in Baghdad support my contention that the Iraqi capital is now only 10 percent to 15 percent Sunni (in 2003 it was roughly 50/50 Sunni and Shiite).

‘ Among the statistics obtained by the AP:

Only an estimated 50,000 of 300,000 displaced families — or 16 percent — have returned to their Baghdad homes, according to the U.S. military. Most are believed to be Sunnis.

In Hurriyah, an estimated 3,000 to 4,000 families, most of them Sunnis, fled in 2006 and 2007. Of those, only 648 families — or 16 to 22 percent — have come back since September.

In addition, 350 to 400 of the displaced families have sold or rented their Hurriyah homes, suggesting they intend to stay away forever, said Maj. Hussein al-Qaissy, Hurriyah’s Iraqi army commander.

Note that 300,000 displaced Iraqi families would likely be 1.5 million individuals.

I did research in August, 2008, in Jordan on Iraqi refugees, and it became very clear to me that they are not returning to Iraq. Many are traumatized, having seen horrific violence against neighbors, friends or family members. One fourth of the families applying for refugee aid reported having had a child kidnapped. Many have been personally threatened by militias who still control their old neighborhood. Sometimes the militias track them down in East Amman and threaten them again. Iraqi Sunnis do not feel safe returning to districts that are now largely Shiite. Mixed families feel that they no longer have a place to live safely. Most refugees have had their property confiscated. Many former Sunni neighborhoods in Baghdad are now ghost towns.

Remember, without teh SURGE there would have been ethnic cleansing in Baghdad. Thank god there wasn’t.

 
 

To Kristol anything less than a full scale nuclear laydown on Iran, preferably starting this afternoon, qualifies as “appeasement”.

 
 

Look. Jefferson (Jefferson pre-Louisiana purchase anyway, but don’t get me started on what an anti-constitutional travesty that was) thought we needed as small an army and navy as possible to keep our budget down. He thought that exerting pressure via diplomacy and commerce should suffice in protecting our interests, and I agree. We shouldn’t have been in Iraq. We shouldn’t be in Iran. I don’t want us in Afghanistan.

Bill Buckley had the Kristol family pegged many years ago when he wrote something to the effect that it was hard for most people to imagine “the pain of breathing the same air as” Irving Kristol.

 
 

Look. Jefferson (Jefferson pre-Louisiana purchase anyway, but don’t get me started on what an anti-constitutional travesty that was) thought we needed as small an army and navy as possible to keep our budget down. He thought that exerting pressure via diplomacy and commerce should suffice in protecting our interests, and I agree. We shouldn’t have been in Iraq. We shouldn’t be in Iran. I don’t want us in Afghanistan.

Bill Buckley had the Kristol family pegged many years ago when he wrote something to the effect that it was hard for most people to imagine “the pain of breathing the same air as” Irving Kristol. Braaaaaap. Flut. Squeek. Man, this gas is killer. I’m still farting.

Fixed

 
 

Iran is ten years away from developing the bomb. This is what is generally agreed to by everyone, including Iran and including the Bush administration.

I’m sorry, what is it Emperor Heart Palpations wants? Action now?

Like there isn’t enough on the plate already?

 
 

Maybe we should just start calling it “nuclear weapons related program activities”.

The Global War On Nuke Related Actions, Including Buying Radium Dial Watches.

(GWONRAIBRDW, for short)

 
 

He thought that exerting pressure via diplomacy and commerce should suffice in protecting our interests, and I agree.

Asimov said it better: Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

 
 

“’persistence’ is pretty prosaic prose”? He actually wrote that? Kristol should be taken out and shot for that alone. But no, onward he slogs:

But what was also interesting was his list of things he was going to be persistent about. Persistence, incrementalism, moving in the right direction one step at a time

Obama will be persistent in his persistence. Someone put this poor persistently prosaic Postie out to pasture, post-haste. Pretty please?

 
 

Pragmatic persistence pervades Postie’s parabolic paradigm, princess. Penile policies prevent Postie’s perception past parallel posits, perhaps permanently.

 
 

My wars! My precious, precious wars!

 
 

“Prosaic prose” is almost as deep as “existence exists.” I also hear that water is powerful wet stuff.

 
 

The comments on l’il Billy’s latest pile o’ Post poop are pretty phunny.

 
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Asimov said it better: Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Indeedy. And what does that make people for whom violence is the first and only refuge?

 
 

You can tell it’s real Kristol by the distinctive sound it makes when you run your finger gently around the rim.

I will go vomit now.

 
 

It amazes me how unashamed wingers like Kristol and Scott Johnson are to admit how pants-wettingly scared they are all the time.

 
 

And what does that make people for whom violence is the first and only refuge?

Dittoheads

 
 

You gotta admire the fact that Kristol, despite being wrong about everything for so long, still gets paid handsomely to dispense this utterly stupid piffle of his. It’s so utterly and childishly stupid it’s not even sophistry any more. It’s more like…slapstick comedy.

 
 

The problem that we’re faced with is that the government of the United States is now doing things like trying to prevent an economic collapse and attempting to improve international relations and other similar boring, prosaic, pansy-ass crap. It’s fucking trying to improve things instead of making things worse! Where’s the fun in that? When you try to improve things you don’t get to blow anything up.

 
 

Like there isn’t enough on the plate already?

Certainly there is. Kristol just wants it taken off. Iran is a nice excuse …

 
 

You gotta admire the fact that Kristol, despite being wrong about everything for so long, still gets paid handsomely to dispense this utterly stupid piffle of his. It’s so utterly and childishly stupid it’s not even sophistry any more. It’s more like…slapstick comedy.

The parallels are there. On the one hand, you have a guy who performs with hilarious exaggeration, hyperbolic violence and other nonsensical acts, and on the other hand you have… whatever it is a slapstick comedian does.

 
 

Asimov said it better: Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Last? Last?

Okay, maybe violence takes a while for these guys to get going. But they try to resort to it first. Asimov was an optimist, and he was assuming we weren’t just going to let crazy ass cranks run the country.

 
 

President Obama seems to evince no sense of urgency
There is no ‘seem’, young Jedi. There is only ‘evince’ or ‘not evince’.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

My question is, who the hell does Kristol have naked pictures of? I can’t think of any other reason he still draws a paycheck.

 
 

Making up imaginary deadlines & sweating it because they’re “fast approaching” would be cute if Kristol were circa 14 & addicted to Call Of Duty, but coming from an adult it just looks like someone’s spiking his Robitussin with angel-dust.

I wish neocons would stop comparing the US actually honoring the NPT to Neville Chamberlain in 1938, what with the annexing Sudetenland thing & all – or has Iran annexed Kurdistan & the new Hannah Montana movie just bumped it off the news?

So where’s the rest of the article – you know, the part with all the scary evidence from independant experts proving Iran’s malevolent plans to nuke Israel &/or Disneyworld? This “All Op, No Ed” kind of leaves me hanging, & not in a good BDSM way either.

 
 

Okay, maybe violence takes a while for these guys to get going. But they try to resort to it first. Asimov was an optimist, and he was assuming we weren’t just going to let crazy ass cranks run the country.

The saying still stands, what varies is the level of incompetence.

Actually, I think he anticipated a very high level of incompetence.

 
Stag Party Palin
 

Bart: Well, can’t you see that’s the last act of a desperate man?
Howard Johnson: We don’t care if it’s the first act of “Henry V,” we’re leaving!

 
 

Is stopping Iran from getting nuclear weapons really like improving health care or advancing the Middle East peace process? I would have thought not.

Errrmmm, isn’t stopping Iran from getting nukuler weapons part of the Middle East peace process?

And correct me if I’m wrong, but here’s how I see it (simplified for right wingers to understand): people who feel threatened will often scramble for something to defend themselves with, so you can’t threaten them any more. Thus threatening, for example, Iran, makes the people more supportive of the gubmint, and makes the gubmint determined to get some big-ass weapons, mebbes even nukes, so’s you can’t threaten them any more.

Similarly (all 4 syllables pronounced clearly, in honour of my late lamented maths professor), tosspots who wail about clobbering Iran before they clobber the US demonstrate their total fraidy-cat-ed-ness.

 
 

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