Mar
17
17
Shorter Hindrocket
- I’d rather shower our precious rich people with hundreds of millions of our taxpayer dollars than help some hicks in Utah stop bugs from eating their crops.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Loneoak said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:30
He’s probably worried he would get confused for one of those bug-eyed bastards and get eradicated.
Strider said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:31
I NEVER get tired of that picture. What a douche.
Simba B said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:33
I love the name Mister Leonard Pierce came up with for the Three Stooges of Powerline—Butt Propulsion Laboratories.
Legalize said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:36
From the looks of that pic (which is made of 50% win and 60% awesome by the way), by “sword”, Assrocket means “sword FIGHT.”
IfyouknowwhatImtalkinabout.
Me said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:36
The real lesson is that the federal government has no business trying to run an insurance company.
Um, I believe events have shown us that insurance companies have no business running insurance companies.
Michelle Obama's Previous Job said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:38
How come I don’t exist anymore?
Caliph Garrett said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:38
Cornrocket: an even better NOM NOM NOM de plume
PeeJ said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:41
Wow. Photographic evidence of Hindrocket cramming Dick on a Stick down his throat. I’d only heard about it before now.
laym said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:43
I don’t often click links here at S, N! but I just checked out the ‘Tools post.
Um. Is the writer aware that there is a global financial crisis happening? ‘Cause it seems like he’s leaving out some details.
Also, shorter ‘Tools: “Oh, that darned Congress!”
Knight in White Satin said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:43
Why not? The Government runs a lot of vital and successful things, at least when Dems are in charge. Insurance? How about Unemployment, Social Security, Disability?, Medicare, Medicade?
Just keep Repugs and Conservatards away from the programs, and they run more fairly, and efficiently than any private insurance.
PeeJ said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:44
Or have I made a grievous error? Could it be that something is coming out of him rather than going in? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:45
Hear, hear! In the spirit of bipartisan comity, and promoting self-responsibility and whatnot – I move that anybody who supported the Iraq Fiasco have their taxes quintupled until we’ve recovered the trillion or so dollars that are now buried in the sand.
tigrismus said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:48
Those Utahns are going to train those bugs to eat rich Minnesotans, especially the lawyers, and THEN who’ll be sorry, Mr. TorpedoButt? Also, the bugs only affect CORNDOG FARMERS.
Legalize said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:49
Wait a minute. Isn’t Congress being concerned about appropriations to AIG the very definition of being concerned with its own spending?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:51
When conservative fucktards like shit rocket here talk about fiscal responsibility and cutting spending – they invariably mean “all spending except military spending”. You know, the single largest fucking item in the budget – no cuts there!
Consistency? Hinderaker’s got the consistency of Cryptosporidium induced explosive diarrhea.
Larry Kudlow said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:54
Hey hey hey! It’s time to buy buy buy! Trust me, the market is going up up up! Trust me, DOW 36000000000 in 6 months!!! Now that the jackboot of regulation and the SEC is OFF the market, we’re going to see a rally unlike anything yet!
{and…we’re off}
Hey, all you guys in the crew? Did anybody NOT short their entire portfolio yet? Better get to it
Whattaya mean the mike is still on?
Destitutionalized said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:54
August J. Pollak, cerca 2005.
Steerpike said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:55
I liked Bill Maher’s line from a couple weeks ago :
I mean, how stupid is it when people say, “Oh, yeah, that’s all we need, the federal government telling Detroit how to make cars, or Wells Fargo how to run a bank. You want them to look like the post office?” Yeah, I say. You mean the place that takes a note in my hand in L.A. on Monday and gives it to my sister in New Jersey on Wednesday for 42 cents? Well, let me be the first to say, I would be thrilled if America’s health care system was anywhere near as functional as the post office.
Barney Frank said,
March 17, 2009 at 20:59
We Own AIG, Now Let’s Act Like It
D.N. Nation said,
March 17, 2009 at 21:04
It took me a grand total of 20 minutes to get my licensed renewed the last time I did it. It took me that long to get a freaking #1 combo from a Krystal on I-20 in Alabama the last time I was jonesin for sliders. Anecdotal evidence to prove a point is fun!
Here’s what I’m also sick of: The repetition of the names of federally funded projects in lieu of making actual arguments about their worth. Durr, volcano monitoring! Volcano monitoring! Bear DNA! Freaking BEAR DNA! Mormon crickets! LOL, what’s that? How STOOPID!
Hey, Senator McTroll, chew on this:
LOL, whatever! Durr, Mormon crickets, that sounds SO lame!
Idiots.
D.N. Nation said,
March 17, 2009 at 21:09
Also: Those who defend the billions of dollars we throw at building sweet military toys by noting that peripheral discoveries accompany the process make light of scientific discovery. It boggles the damn mind. Think of all the vaccines created when scientists, more or less, were just dicking around.
Knight in White Satin said,
March 17, 2009 at 21:16
Very little military research benefits commerce. A lot of NASA research has been key in our Country’s tech-savvy.
MzNicky said,
March 17, 2009 at 21:19
No, Assrocket, the real lesson is that you’re a fatuous dickhead.
Jennifer said,
March 17, 2009 at 21:22
I’m gonna do a re-write of that Stephen King story except mine’s gonna be called Children of the Corndog and instead of it being about a cult of children worshipping a satanic corn god, it will be about a cult of childishly naive adults worshipping the moronic utterances of a corndog aficionado.
The role of He Who Walks Behind the Rows will, of course, be played by Rush Limbaugh.
MzNicky said,
March 17, 2009 at 21:28
Which means earmarks are, what, 2 percent of the whole spending bill?
And the thing is, money designated specifically for such things as infrastructure, pest and disease control, etc., is TOTALLY COMPARABLE with BONUS money going to a handful of bloated rich-fuck executives who nearly destroyed the global economy!
OB-GYN Kenobi said,
March 17, 2009 at 21:45
Hey, look, Larry Kudlow fell off the wagon again.
tigrismus said,
March 17, 2009 at 21:46
Durr, volcano monitoring! Volcano monitoring! Bear DNA! Freaking BEAR DNA! Mormon crickets! LOL, what’s that? How STOOPID!
Perhaps they’d prefer all those things be “faith-based”… To keep Pele happy we must make sacrifices! Artaius must be kept fed! Mormon Cricket God must be discovered to be appeased! Probably by killing people! And the sacrifices will begin with the Mockers and devourers of corndogs!
D.N. Nation said,
March 17, 2009 at 21:51
I think it does indeed go back to a mistrust of all things science.
NutellaonToast said,
March 17, 2009 at 21:53
On the one hand, Hindy is a douche. On the other hand, I think some of the sentiment makes sense. Yeah, it sucks these assholes are getting pay that may well not deserve, but WTF. It’s a drop in the bucket and from a strictly cost benefits stand point, it’s not worth paying this much attention to such a small sum. I’m sure congress gets a shitload more in general “benefits” and they do a pretty crappy job themselves.
Zifnab said,
March 17, 2009 at 22:16
Libertarians don’t need to eat food. Not so long as they can chew on their own bootstraps.
Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist said,
March 17, 2009 at 22:19
Then the crickets migrate in hordes (ten to fifty thousand) to foothills, rangeland, and crops.
No worries – there was that one time that that happened here in Utah, and God just set a bunch of seagulls to eat all the crickets. Problem solved!
Faith-based solutions FTW!
jim said,
March 17, 2009 at 22:55
PROTIP: if even a GOP pol is publicly hinting that AIG execs should give seppuku a whirl, it may not be the best time to shrug & smirk at the $165 million in bonuses.
165 million here, 165 million there, & soon you’re talking real money.
These cretins give honest whores a bad name by association. Not to mention that the “let them eat cake” optics of doling out bonuses-for-boneheads in the middle of a hard recession pretty much suck ass.
gravitybear said,
March 17, 2009 at 22:59
As for that picture, it makes me sad because I recognize the cup in his hand as one from the Minnesota State Fair, and it reminds me that the Hindrocket is a fellow Minnesotan. What a shame.
Smut Clyde said,
March 17, 2009 at 23:02
Not so long as they can chew on their own bootstraps.
That makes no sense. Here in NZ, when we want to trap boots, we dig a hole in the ground and wait for them to fall in. There’s nothing to chew on. You must have a different kind of boots-traps.
M. Bouffant said,
March 18, 2009 at 1:12
I think it does indeed go back to a mistrust of all things science.
They get double results.
Some of the base are convinced that all of science is a plot to refute the Bible, & volcano monitoring & “watching bugs” are the scientists’ hobbies or something, & should be stopped just to bug the chrome-domes.
A probably larger group just doesn’t doesn’t want a buncha pointy-heads standing around using $10.00 words & acting like they’re better than the rubes, & on the rubes’ tax dime.
Either way, you can’t go wrong w/ most of the conservos if you bash anything scientific, or the egg-heads involved.
Just Alison said,
March 18, 2009 at 9:16
Yeah, it sucks these assholes are getting pay that may well not deserve, but WTF. It’s a drop in the bucket and from a strictly cost benefits stand point, it’s not worth paying this much attention to such a small sum.
And from a strictly personal opinion stand point, I’d like to see them eat a kilogram of their own earwax for every fucking bonus dollar.
Mormon Cricket God said,
March 18, 2009 at 17:19
All shall tremble before my polygamous chirping.
Cowalker said,
March 18, 2009 at 17:20
Jim: “These cretins give honest whores a bad name by association.”
Indeed. A whore who provided the same kind of quality as the financial institutions would leave the client tumescent, bleeding from multiple wounds and robbed of all valuables.
Kip W said,
March 23, 2009 at 0:23
I move that anybody who supported the Iraq Fiasco have their taxes quintupled until we’ve recovered the trillion or so dollars that are now buried in the sand.
George Dubya Bailey: “The money’s not here! It’s, it’s in Achmed’s grave, and Abdul-Wahab’s grave, and the crater that used to be Waidi’s daughter’s house, and the four blocks where the school and shopping center were…”